Friday, June 25, 2010

News Bites!

Friday, June 25, 2010

By popular demand, more Top Headlines, illustrated by Wrecks.
Because that's how the news SHOULD be told.


"Apple Fans Conduct World's First iPad Wedding"

The article didn't have any pics of their wedding cake, but I like to think it looked something like this "Apple computer":

Steve Jobs would be proud.



"Biologists Use Calvin Klein's Obsession to Attract Big Cats"

In other news: getitoffgetitoffofmygoshgetitoff!!

No word yet on the cats' stance on heavy petting.


"Boy Saves Sister from Moose Using World of Warcraft Skills"

Clearly, this kid deserves one kick-a$ WoW cake. So let's take a picture of one and stick it on another cake:

Perfect.

(Note: Believe it or not, the cake in the picture printed on the cake in the picture is what Goran wanted, not this. So if your baker ever asks for a "reference photo," be afraid. Be very afraid.)


Thanks to industrious Wreckporters Anony M., Stephanie B., & Goran P.!
Anonymous said...

Holy Crap - I will be looking at my cats in a whole new way after that second one! And, does is say "Geaux" Tigers?

Stella said...

ohmygosh...the last one is destined to be a classic.

Richard said...

At least Goran got sprinkles.

That's something, isn't it?

I mean, doesn't ever WoW fan really, in their heart of hearts, at least want some pretty sprinkles?

Dorfmunder said...

THE DATE STAMP!!! I'm glad I peed right before seeing that.

Mary Connealy said...

Geaux Tigers?
Go Tigers?

Soooooooo this is a cake the FRENCH CLUB made up to root for the home team???

I'm just guessing.

Katie said...

Wow...just...wow.

I think it takes balls to stick a picture of a cake onto another cake. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Whew! I am sooooo glad you didn't find another kind of "pad" cake for the iPad wedding....

Taylor said...

Number 2 looks like a remake of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as directed by Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth).

Think about it. It makes sense.

Anonymous said...

I wonder what WoW world that 'Tiger' is from?

Maybe it's a French Tiger. Wish it would just "Geaux" from my mind - there will be nightmares tonight.

Poor WoW fan. And to think that's a photo of an actual WOWWW WoW cake on that WoW cake.

*shakes head sadly*

I guess I'll stick to being an amateur cake decorator - too scary to go professional.

~~Di

Kae said...

I think Contestant #3 might have taken lazy caking to a new pinnacle.

jo said...

LOL love the reference photo wreck! Let's see, they either took it to a bakery, where the baker took one look at it and said to himself, "There's no way I can do that, so I'm just sticking on this cake. Here we go, this should be the right size." *grabs scissors* *snip snip snip* "there. PERFECT."

Or more likely, the cake buyer went to a bakery, found out how much said cake would cost (or maybe they confessed their lack of skills to reproduce it)

so the cake buyer looked at the cake, shrugged, and grabbed a cake out of the Carvel case to slap the picture on. *snip snip snip* "There, PERFECT."

meanwhile, when did Apple make poo brown computers with itty bitty keyboards?

and that scary raging ball of "fur" (which has no face except the Halloween vampire fangs and tongue in that vicious little mouth)--is really freaking me out.

yet amazingly, the fur on the tail is so smooth...how unusual for a cat whose hair is standing up.

love the "Frenchified" spelling of the word "go" (geaux?? seriously? that's not evena verbal spelling! that's a plural masculin suffix (not to mention a suspiciously made up word.)

Canadians? do you want to weigh in? or would it be weilles?

Jennifer said...

Some LSU fan somewhere is crying.

jo said...

WoW = Worlds of Warcraft? Huh. around here, there are WOW bumper stickers but I'm told it's because a local radio station has a "Whip it out Wednesday" bit on their show.

now THOSE would make some interesting wrecks! (shield your eyes, kids!)

wv: siefigma. what that poor freaked out cat is suffering from. either that or a hallucinatory effect these cakes have on viewer who try to figure them out or get freaked out by them. (a siefigma of my imagination....)

Anonymous said...

Wow. that's all I'm sayin'.

Quisty said...

I can't believe that last one. How sad-hopefully the kid was at least able to laugh about it! That is the laziest effort i think I've ever seen.

Anonymous said...

Somebody help me with the last one. I'm having trouble discerning what is happening there. Is it a WoW photograph just plopped onto a white cake with sprinkles? Plus, does it not completely fill said white cake? Odd...I'm guessing the cat cake must be in New Orleans because they root for the football team with signs say "Geaux Saints." Or else, somebody somewhere stole the idea....and thought that was a good thing.

Anonymous said...

Sports fans spell "Go" like "Geaux" a lot for some reason. I don't really know why, but I see people do it all the time on purpose. The cake's spelling was most likely intentional.

It took me a second to figure out what was wrong with the last cake. I was just looking at the blue cake without realizing it was printed onto another cake!!

Jennifer in MN said...

"A moose once bit my sister" ;)

Jenni @ Project Cookie 365 said...

HAH! First of all, that WOW one is Epic. An epic failure, sure, but still!

And it took me FOREVER to "get" the perspective on that apple computer. If you can't dazzle 'em, confuse 'em!

Bruno said...

Did you know that for a french speaker `Geaux Tigers` can actually read 'Go Tigers', which seemed to be the original intention.
You really need to go multi-cultural to obtain such a wreck. Does it come from Quebec, by any chances ?

Anonymous said...

@Kae--don't you mean they took lazy decorating to a new depth? pinnacle gives them too much credit!

Rebekah said...

Cheaters never win. They get featured on Cake Wrecks.

Anonymous said...

lolololol

The Boob Nazi said...

The "geaux" is throwing me off.

Anonymous said...

Jennifer gave y'all a clue: "Geaux Tigers" is popular with LSU fans. LSU is located in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baton Rouge is in Cajun Country. Cajuns speak French, albeit a somewhat archaic form.

You're welcome.

Normie (used to live in Louisiana)

PD said...

I see what you did there, Jennifer in MN.

The first cake has some serious non-Euclidean geometry going on. It took me more time than it should have to figure out what was going on there. Lovecraft would be proud. Steve Jobs would not.

Taylor said...

The reason people print it "Geaux Tigers" is because the Cajun influence in Lousiana has produced a lot of names that end in "eaux" but sound like "o". Think Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, etc.

The difference between the "eaux" suffix in Cajun culture and "eau" suffix in French language doesn't seem to have a definite origin, but it's some kind of offshoot. So it's a French-type spelling, but exclusive to the Cajun regions.

So saying "Geaux Tigers!" is a way of supporting the team and infusing some local flair into the phrase.

It would be akin to a Texan saying, "I support Texas A&M, y'all!"

Little Luxuries said...

Ohmigosh, that second cake is terrifying!

As for the third cake... I think I would have busted out some ferrealz battle skills on that wreckerator!

Erin said...

oh wow..it took me a moment to realize that the last one was merely a picture of a good cake plastered on a mediocre one. Sad, wreckerator, sad.

Aliza said...

The Apple cake was great! We have a mac-obsessed/addict here at work, and I *had* to send the link to him. It left him traumatized

I understand that they didn't want to infringe upon copyright, but... if they think that's what computers look like today, I guess that answers the question "why don't they just Google [xyz]?"

#2 is a double wreck, unless that cake is linked to the [US] state of Louisiana. "Geaux" is not a word in French.

Any word on why it's those colours???

And as for #3, yup I agree with the posters above, that's sinking to a new low in wreckerating. Wow! [pun intended]

Caroline B said...

Now I've painted a lot of tiger pictures in my time and I'm pretty sure those weren't the colours I had on my palette.......

Love the way they thought the computer cake should have an actual lead coming out the back!!

Aviatrix said...

I'm sure this will have been said many times in yet-to-be moderated comments, but WoW is right. That's the most egregious abuse of the term "reference photo" I could think of. I find it hard to believe that the wreckerator referred to it in any way when choosing the white fluffy base, the coloured sprinkles, or even the orientation of the printout. Did they LOOK at it?

wv: pyling, as in "Pyling icing around the edge of a photo does not constitute custom cake decorating."

Anonymous said...

Allez, Tigers!

I can just see the redneck pronunciation of "geaux..."

"What's that say? er, gee-oaks? geh-ox? I don't get it..."

Anonymous said...

#3 looks like a really bad multi-colored shag rug. with claws. and fangs. and a tail. and it's lumpy. kinda puke colored too.

Will said...

The reason people print it "Geaux Tigers" is because the Cajun influence in Louisiana has produced a lot of names that end in "eaux" but sound like "o". Think Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, etc.

Hence the joke about the cajun (and I am one) who named his dog Phydeaux.

Whitney said...

Bahahaha. The time stamp on the WoW craft is ridiculous! Poor kid!

Bub said...

Whoa - #1 brings a whole new meaning to WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get), and I definitely don't want to know where they saw it or where they got it...

Anonymous said...

I love the paws and teeth on the Tiger cake. He reminds me of the Foo Dog or Dragon in Chinese mythology. He often has these lovely colors and fierce expresson - but maybe a bit more "together". I don't know how to say "geau tigers" in Chinese. Norine

Siouxzr said...

My impression of the second wreck is that it has a mane. Possibly the wreckerator does not know the difference between lions and tigers and also believes tiger fur has a camouflage pattern -- the kind of camouflage that would blend in with a well used fraternity house shag carpet.

WV soidium: In New Joisey the doctor tells them to watch their soidium.

Mallory said...

"Geaux Tigers" (aka "Go Tigers") is an LSU slogan for those that were wondering. Louisiana has a lot of French influence in its culture, so I figure the spelling has to do with that. But that thing looks more like those red/orange head-tossing creatures from the David Bowie movie "Labyrinth"...but maybe that's just me :)

Odie said...

I want a Fizzgig cake!!!!

Lindsey said...

I was in tears when I got to #2.

In other news: getitoffgetitoffofmygoshgetitoff!!"

OMG... I was laughing so hard. A friend says her psyche is scarred from that thing. And yes, and LSU fan is crying... probably lots of them.

msyendor said...

The just needs to proper toothed, extensible tongue and you'd have the warped hatchling of an alien/tribble cross.

Stephanie said...

To answer all the questions about "geaux" (i am the submitter)... i live in southern LA where Cajun French is common, and many last names end in 'eaux' (pronounced 'o')... so therefore, it's a common play on words to say "Geaux -----!" to support the local team, in this case, LSU. And, as Jennifer noted, somewhere, an LSU fan IS crying...

Janet said...

So they ordered a cake for a 12 year old boy who offered himself as prey to save his little sister's life and the bakery gave them that travesty? It should be thrown with great force in the decorator's face. Pathetic!

elissa said...

That second story should be good news for any men looking to catch a cougar...

WV: catex. He used to date an older woman, but now she's his catex.

(This coincidence is just too weird.)

Haiku Joy said...

"Jen to Sheaux Off Wit!"
"Wreckporters get the Scoop!"
"Cake Wrecks Pulitzer!"


~~~

I can hardly read headlines correctly the first time. I tend to have noun/verb confusion.

Roxi said...

How does playing a video game give ANYONE thescils to save ANYTHONG?

Did he use its head as a game controler?

Too Old for WoW

Anonymous said...

The picture of the cake on the cake is killing me. Too hilarious!

And, yes, that's what I think LSU tigers actually look like under their purple & gold jerseys...

Shannon said...

Quoting my hubby as he looked at the WoW cake: "Wow! That is the laziest crappiest way to make exactly what the customer asked for. Brilliant!"

Then he turned to me and said, "You could make a lot of money making cakes if this is the sort of thing people will pay for!"

I'm not sure if he was praising my cake making abilities or not, but it made me laugh almost as much as your post did. :-)

Sha said...

...following up from my post a moment ago: hubby saw the picture again, and then said, "It must have been a man who made that!"

:-)

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see a photo of that last cake printed on another cake.

greytgrey said...

Weird Al! :)

Lisa said...

The Apple fangirl in me cried a little upon seeing that.

Roland said...

Terrifyingly awesome nightmare cat-beast! Not so much a tiger, though.

ladyrazorsharp said...

You have absolutely, totally, COMPLETELY got to be kidding me.

*reads post again*

Nope. You're not. I think that is the wreckiest of all the wrecky wrecks that have ever been wrecked.

ladyrazorsharp said...

P.S. Does anyone else think that the 'Apple' computer looks more like a TRaSh-80?

Rachel said...

On the WOW cake: I like how they didn't even bother to edit out the date on the photo before they added it to the cake. It just wouldn't have been complete without that detail.

And I could be wrong, but I'm guessing the "Geaux Tigers" is an LSU reference. They have a creative way of spelling things in Cajun land.

Russ and Em said...

No post about your Salt Lake stop? I SO badly wanted to be there and at least want to live vicariously. I know you are busy just wondering. :)

Kaaren said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oooh, the poor kid who got that last cake.

Amber said...

Yo dog I heard you like cakes so I put a picture of a cake on your cake!









And then I added a time stamp!

BADKarma! said...

Nice Monty Python reference on that last one. It's a good thing he rescued her. Moose bites can be very painful, you know.

Arlene said...

That second cake looks like an alien is about to burst forth from it.. shrieks and gets the flame gun lol. I can't even imagine that first one is a cake. I suspect they put frosting on a laptop computer and ran away laughing.. it looks like poo with an apple on it.

LadyRhian said...

That Cake #2 reminds me of Fizzgig from The Dark Crystal.

kingjosephjacinto said...

classic style.. cool.. i hope i can taste 1 soon.. hehhe

Annah said...

Damn I want CAKE now . grrrrr. DELICIOUS

cake boards said...

Vauaviva!!Wonderful...

B said...

The "Geaux Tigers" cake isn't entirely crazy, it's a common cheer for LSU sports- I think it hearkens back to the whole french-speaking thing in Louisiana.

Ulrike said...

Wow! I mean WoW.

A Møøse once bit my sister...

The Dream Police Person said...

Yup, I'll be seeing that cat in my nightmares tonight. Geaux Tigers, geaux away!

archersangel said...

for the second one, all i can think is; what the frell is that?

WV: mixuren
oh, so that's what it is!

~Nikki~ said...

I can't believe they put a pic of a BETTER cake on a typical grocery store cake! That's so wrong lol

Beth said...

Wow, in all of the things that I've seen on CW, I think that the picture of the cake on the cake is the saddest. Poor kid! I bet he was really disappointed...but sometimes you get what you pay for

LaVonne said...

All things considered, I'm surprised "Geaux" is spelled correctly (it is)! You half expect it to say "Tirges" or something like that.

To answer Jo's question, "meanwhile, when did Apple make poo brown computers with itty bitty keyboards?" They haven't yet. That cake is based on a prototype that an Apple employee left in a bar. It will be on the market in about 4 months and look EXACTLY like that! I'm already camped out at the Apple Store!

Anne-Marie said...

The WoW cake looks like it came from Dairy Queen. In my family, that's the only kind of cake we get for birthdays. Anyone who's ordered a cake from DQ knows that, if it isn't one of the designs from their catalog, you're probably going to get the photo image - custom cake design is not their forte'...

Sandi said...

That WoW cake is so disappointing, so sad!

Anonymous said...

Wow... And I thought the decorator at OUR store was bad!

Craig said...

'Geaux Tigers', from the Louis Wain school of cat cakes. Yikes!

Looks like 'Fluffy' needs to cut waaay back on the catnip.

Anonymous said...

Is the "Apple" cake really in regard to the company? Maybe it's just a symbol of the use computers in education. An apple is a very old symbol for education and/or public schools.

Jason said...

When did Apple make brown computers?

Google Image search for "apple 2". That cake actually isn't a bad rendition, although it's way darker brown than it should be.

Sheesh, kids these days with their shiny white Macbooks.. ;)

y said...

I bet the WOW cake was a $28 grocery store deal because a cake with that much detail, would be over $100+ at a "good" bakery. I paid $45 for my daughter's 1st birthday cake, 20 years ago! It was adorable, and delicious, but expensive!! Sometimes you get what you pay for and if they paid for the $100 cake and got that, they deserve a refund!

WV: twleduc: Tweleduc & Tweedle Dee must'a made that cake!

Anne said...

I am that LSU fan crying. Where is the purple and gold?! It looks like...i can't...i can't even describe....*sob*