Decorating in the Meantime

This is why you never dine alone at fancy restaurants:

"I told you: my date is just really, really late! And who asked you, anyway?"


And this is why the Regional Transport Authority should always spell out their name:

I'm sure it's a pet name.

There's a fitness center in Dallas with the tag line, "Redefining the Fitness Experience." Something tells me the baker they hired for their anniversary cake didn't quite agree with that assessment, though:

"We're here to PLUMP [clap] you up!"

Hey, uh...guys? Has anyone checked with Justine about this?

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And to think: all we've got are hamburgers and a Guitar Hero competition.

Ryan W., Gilbert, Kelsey C., & Karen B., may your Labor Day weekend be as labor-free as possible. (Unless you're having a baby. [Which would be weird, in Ryan or Gilbert's case. (Unless it's their respective female counterparts who are in labor. [Which would be cool.])])

Sprinkled With Pride

America!

Here in America...[dramatic pause]...we believe in... patriotism! Integrity! Courage!

We believe that Old Glory should cover not only our hearts...

...but our stomachs as well.


[swelling music]

We believe that education and patriotic sprinkles are the bedrock of our society:

But mostly the sprinkles.


[music swelling further]

America!

We believe that the size of our cupcakes should not be defined by the size of our cups...

...but by the size of our ovens.


We believe that even our bread pudding...

...should be frosted. Patriotically.


Here in America, we believe that no cupcake is complete...

...until it is deep-fried.

Aw yeeeah.

[music swelling further]

America!!

Where even our drizzle is patriotic:


And our monkeys...

...wear American kimonos.

Because we believe that monkey cakes wearing American kimonos is what America is all about.

America!!!!

[music now fully swollen]

And my friends, let us never forget, when it comes to American pride...

...we know how to rock it.


AMERICA!!!!

Glynis C., Carol G., Kay S., Jessica T., Cindy, Jessie from Cakespy, Molly M., Elizabeth J., & Brouk, now's the time on Sprockets when we dance. With monkeys. In kimonos. Patriotically.