Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Parent Appreciation Day

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Think you have a shot at "most embarrassing parents?"


Not anymore.



The fact that "period" is spelled wrong pales in comparison with, you know, everything else.


Still, it could've been worse. Lucy's parents could have put her picture on the cake:


And then served it with a side of drippy cherry cheesecake.

Really.


Then again, is that really any worse than a commemorative toilet training cake?


Guys, there is such a thing as a generic celebration cake, you know. Just sayin'.


Oh, and Mom? Dad? I love you.


Thanks for the perspective, Anony M., Victoria C., & Britany S. And also for the vocabulary lesson.
Kimberly Chapman said...

Oi, yes, you can celebrate things more discreetly!

Kiddo got to decorate her own cake when she successfully did potty for two weeks straight, but she requested that reward and it was the beloved Wilton duck pan she'd much coveted for any reason she could think of since her 1st birthday party. No direct potty references necessary!

Gary said...

I'd just like to thank my parents for never doing anything like these cakes and the occasions for which the cakes must have been made. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Maureen said...

Oh dear, oh dear. That second cake. Words fail me. My eyes pop open, my jaw drops.

..................
............
.........
....

Nope - got nothin' Words fail me.

Anonymous said...

WHERE'S MY MENOPAUSE CAKE!!!!?

NiteNurse said...

Gee. I guess I never before thought to be glad that my mother was extremely shy, modest, and totally freaked out about her daughters getting their periods. It was A BIG SECRET from the rest of the family.


Of course, it would have been FINE to have secret cakes.

Karin Luster said...

I'm sorry, but I don't know what that 2nd word is on the 2nd cake. help, please?

SuBee said...

In my day, we were happy with a box of maxi-pads and a...
Well thats all, just a box of maxi-pads. AND we were happy to get it.

Pampered, spoiled, entitled young women today. I hope they appreciate those of us who suffered so that they might have an embarrassing confection ;)

Chica said...

When googling "Menarche", I found a rather terrifying Menarche Parties R'Us.

Anyone fancy a game of Pin the Ovaries?!
Ann

Candace said...

Do people honestly CELEBRATE their first period!? Then again, cake probably would help things... but those cakes... come on... the drippy cherry cheesecake.... *shivers*

Definitely not something I'd ever make my (far in the future) daughter celebrate.

Anonymous said...

wv - ingsh: the sound uttered when an image is so incredibly cringeworthy no actual word is suitable.

Anonymous said...

Karen,
It says, "Menarche" which is the first menstrual cycle.

And obviously deserves a cake!!

Fluffy Cow said...

I won't even begin to comment on the first two. *shudder*

But why are there chicken feet coming out of the rancid looking picture on the potty cake?

Anonymous said...

I can remember several times in the past when I felt like celebrating the arrival of my period. Am I right ladies?

NiteNurse said...

To Anonymous re

"WHERE'S MY MENOPAUSE CAKE!!!!?

November 9, 2010 9:40 AM"

Right On, Sister!! Your comment made me belly laugh. Alas, I fear we must get our own m-pause cakes. However this gave me the idea to have a Hot Flashes Party in the dead of winter here in MN. I could serve all summer party food--cold hors d'oeuvres and light girl-y cocktails; Caribbean music and everyone asked to dress for 90 degrees. Of course, lots of cake.

Terrell

Anonymous said...

I'm with "Anonymous" on the menopause cake!

KC

J said...

Even worse, its looks like cake #2 is part of a big spread. Can you imagine getting the invitation for that party? Or having to write the thank you notes afterward?

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Oh! Oh! I get the piece with the poo!

Ice Queen said...

Bwahahahaha! You have to admire the thoughtless evil that went into celebrating a girl's passage into womanhood with a drippy cherry cheesecake. :P

Thank you, mom and dad for never celebrating my first period with cake!

Tralix said...

@ Karin - It's Manarche. According to Wiki it's a girls first menstral cycle.

That word should never be on cake.

elissa said...

And that second one looks like it's laid out on a buffet table. As if for a *party*!

Is this a cultural thing? Is there some nationality or fertility-goddess religion that makes a big deal out of this? Ew.

Those pictures did not make my cramps go away.

Dani said...

Check me out! I'm a better parent than some random people on the internet. That's the validation I needed this morning. Now for coffee.

Anonymous said...

Menarche, it means the begining of menstruation. or your first period. really, though "happy menarche"? its like that stupid pad company "have a happy period!" sheesh! I'd sooner celebrate menopause, and what is up with all the men?
I took my daughter out for chocolate shakes, and a "crying" movie. she would have killed me in my sleep if I had thrown her a party with a cake like this. Hmmm, I guess you can call these the Lizzie Borden special.

Mrs N

amchornetgirl said...

And I was embarassed when my mom called my dad at work to tell him about my first. Thank goodness no one thought about celebrating it!

Anonymous said...

LOL, SuBee!

At least the potty cake has its own poo on it. Ick. Just, like, who is going to take the first plop, oops I mean, piece, of cake?

I have to thank you for giving me a reason to be thankful for my parents today. I could not imagine having a cake to celebrate that particular event. Much less purchasing it from a bakery!

Seriously, though - where's the cake celebrating a girl's first bra? Can't be any worse.

Nicely done, but still in poor taste. Well, if you don't count the mithspelling.

~~Di

Ferralyn said...

Really? REALLY? Dang, people, there are some occasions that do NOT need cakes!! Granted, chocolate cake is always good during certain weeks of the month, but I don't want to share it with anyone.

I am so going to make myself a menopause cake when it happens. And have friends over. And not share the cake - because I'll be cranky and hot. Maybe it will be an ice cream cake.

The Boob Nazi said...

I would DIE if my parents gave me any of those cakes.

Karen said...

I really hope that cherry cheesecake was not...intentional.

also I find it slightly hilarious that my "word verification" to post a comment is 'PANGS'. Hahaha...

Weibel Family said...

Wow! That's a therapy bill in the future!

Renee said...

I have a friend who is planning a HUGE Menopause party complete with a chocolate fountain. I don't think I want a party...but I will be celebrating it!

Anonymous said...

lol@ anony 9:57!

Looking back, I think my mother still owes me a number of cakes to make up for that particular occasion-- she told everybody at the dinner table that day. And it happened to be on Christmas Day, so there were lots of people to hear. Probably, some of them would have liked some cake for having to share in the news...

Julia said...

I feel slightly ill after seeing that cheesecake next to the other cake whose subject shall not be named.

For one thing, at least in my opinion, there ain't nothin' worth celebrating about that particular event. When it occurred for me I immediately began counting down to menopause, and I agree with Anonymous that menopause will be much more worthy of cake.

And, for another I was majorly embarressed when my mom dared to tell a friend of hers, I can't even imagine the horror of having it emblazoned on a cake and captured by film for posterity.

Anonymous said...

So what I'm wondering is this; in this age of equal-opportunity, if we are celebrating a girl's step into womanhood with cake, what are we doing for the boys? "Happy Spontaneous Erection" eclairs?

Sarah said...

I'll dissent here. In many non-Western cultures menarche is seen as an important rite of passage, which makes a lot of sense socially and biologically. I think the extent of it being a taboo subject here has to do with puritanical beliefs about sex and disgust toward women's bodies. (Ever read "If men could menstruate" by Gloria Steinem? http://www.mum.org/ifmencou.htm) Assuming the girls involved were on board with it, I think it's awesome that their families or communities were celebrating them in such a positive way.

kittymidori said...

nothing says YUMMY like menstrual cake...

covered in dripping cherries,
with lots of cherry sauce,
and a gooey raspberry filling...

ok. i'll stop now. >.<

A.J. said...

Oh, my God! The drippy cherry cheesecake! The red icing on the actual cake! I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit there.

SuBee said...

To Half Assed Kitchen
@ 10:08 AM

I fell off of my chair. And now I have that refrain repeating in my head. I'll be giggling all day.

Jennifer said...

My parents got me a "Sweet Sixteen" cake - but had the baker put a big X over the "Sweet" part. My family is a giant pile of sarcastic jerkholes.

Luna said...

i'm so happy that my parents have never done something like this.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

o.O

I'd like to thank my mom & dad too.

I am reminded of Todd Yohn's feminine hygiene song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvoT0ZicwZY

L. O. L. @ Anonymous' Menopause cake! Might as well celebrate perimenopause too! I wouldn't have anything written on my cakes tho'.


wv: jiredle. Ji, redle cherries are dripping on that cheesecake.

Anonymous said...

Words fail me.
*shudder*
*twitch*
*blink*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Christine said...

Anonymous at 10:37 I nearly choked on my tea! Spontaneous erection eclairs, brilliant!

Personally I'm overwhelmed by the genius that elected to drizzle the entire potty cake with poo

Kelli said...

Oh Wow! I'm glad my first time was kept private.

sikki said...

I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank, and she was happy to get her first period. I was a young teenager at the time, and to be honest, it helped take the "ickiness" out of the whole experience for me. I could appreciate that other cultures saw it as a blessing of real womanhood...not that I'd want to celebrate with a party or anything. LOL

Potsy said...

My SIL made my niece a "poopy" cake for when she mastered potty training. I was mortified! It had brown blobs of frosting all over it. I'd have sent you a picture if I could have stopped gagging long enough to take one. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Oh, the cheesecake! With the red dripping down its sides! If I were that poor girl, I would have nightmares of that "celebration" forever. "Make it stop! Make it stah-hah-hop! *sobs*"

(Now if there was a cake that said, "Welcome, Daughter, to the Joys of Cramps and Stained Clothes for the next 45 Years!", THAT would be truth in advertising! "Happy Menarch" indeed! :P)

leorising

Elizabeth said...

oh my gosh, I would never dream of doing that to my daughter! Please, if I ever get to that point, someone put me out for my kids' sake!

Raven said...

Well, remembering all the birth cakes you've posted, I think this could have gone much worse and more graphic than it was. So we can all be thankful for that.

I intend to help my girls celebrate their beginning of womanhood, but certainly not by displaying it on a cake. That's not to say that we won't be eating cake. It just doesn't have to have everything written out on it. Some things should not be printed in frosting.

Anonymous said...

I think I would have rather had cake then my mother walking into my school and saying (rather loudly) "AWW MY BABYS ALL GROWN UP I'M SO PROUD OF YOU" in the middle of the school day, in the middle of the office, while I'm sittng with a sweatshirt tied around my waist.... yea awesome.... Can i have some cake now???

~Mel

lisagems said...

Yeah. The second cake is bad. Really bad. But... look beyond the wreck that is the cake to the horror that is the cherry topped cheesecake behind it, to the left. OK. Its a Menarche party. That doesn't mean you have to graphically illustrate the point!

Anonymous said...

I will also dissent. Just because YOU found it foul and not worth a celebration does not mean it's wrong for someone else to want to celebrate a young girl's passage into womanhood.

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's wrong.

Marie said...

I never heard of Menarche before. I looked it up and there are sites to get a party set for it. Not kidding. One of them had the game "Pin the tail on the ovaries." I honestly wish I were kidding about this.

http://www.menarchepartiesrus.com/

Anonymous said...

I understand celebrating menarche is normal in other cultures, but I'm German-American (several generations removed from Germany, but from a fairly isolated community), and we like to keep emotions bottled up and menarche a secret. I was MORTIFIED to the point of wanting to vomit when my mom told my grandma that I started. A cake on a buffet would surely have ended my life.

And anon, I'm currently eating an"oh thank God I got my period" bowl of ice cream.

Justine said...

Somebody needs some sensitivity training! :)

In case my loved ones are reading this....I'd like my menopause cake to be chocolate with chocolate icing with a nifty plastic battle axe on top! Thx! The inscription can read "Thanks for not killing us!"

Anonymous said...

I'm dreaming up all sorts of dazzling possiblities for the boy's developmental milestones....

Karin, it is "menarche" which is the onset of menses. In non-medical terms, the girl got her period and mom got her a cake.

Anonymous said...

Well its only because in our society FOR WOMEN sex and anything related to it is dirty that we don't celebrate a girl's transition to womanhood with her first period. It should be a joyous occasion, not one fraught with secrecy and shame.

Knit Wit said...

I cannot imagine the amount of money that these girls/kids will be spending on therapy.

Just when I think you won't surprise me, you find something like this.

WV: ferster--The image of these cakes will ferster in my brain for years.

Craig said...

What a subject for an EPCOT. OY!!!

'Lucy' might be a junior high school teacher. Her morning class received really high marks -- but not in spelling. Think I'll go with that explanation, peroid.

The last one redefines 'inappropriate'. Actually, they all do, but this one sets a new American Standard.

I wonder what kind of cake that kid will receive to celebrate the completion of therapy.

It's fun to speculate what direction the celebration of future parental milestones might take at the hands of these kids ("Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!"). But maybe these kids won't be into revenge. Yeah, right.

wv: stosse. Jus' tosse these.

Kaede said...

I gave each of my daughters a nice (IF. 1 ctw, good cut, strong color change) color change garnet when they made the "change" into womanhood. I wanted them to know they were rare and beautiful gems. When they hit menopause I'll give them color change sapphires so they know know they are not only beautiful but strong too.

Sarah Anderson said...

Aw, man! It was bad enough when my mom made me make a sign that read "World's Newest Woman" and show it to family over the webcam! Thank goodness she didn't throw me a party with one of these cakes!

Anonymous said...

Yaay to Sarah, who got the meaning behind the cakes. Maybe the poopy cake could should be flushed, but the others are celebrating something that many cultures regard as special. Without a period, folks, you just don't get those cute babies, and no opportunity for weird shower cakes. Celebrating life passages is definitely cultural, and we might benefit from thinking outside of the typical American box. Don't orthodox Jews celebrate puberty? Some Native American cultures used to (not sure if they still do) and cake might just be appropriate for a celebration. Okay, I'll step off my soap box now.

icklepeach said...

Today's cakes made me think of this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpypeLL1dAs

Love the blog :)

Janel Ogden said...

Seriously. The dripping cherry cheesecake is a bit much!

Michelle said...

hahahahahah wtf?

died laughing at the "drippy cherry cheesecake"

Elizabeth said...

When I got my first, I cried for an entire week and hid from the world. My classmates thought I was dying to be gone all week. That was a good mom to let me do that.

Although cake might have made me feel better...

Shannon said...

ha ha ha ha ha.... I love this site!! I can't IMAGINE the hours of therapy it'll take these kids to recover from these cakes!!!

Carol said...

This blog post totally goes along with a couple of these cakes... http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/11/allie-starts-her-moon-time.html

(I recently found Allie, myself and have for days now, been reading her blog from the beginning up to the present. Truly funny stuff!)

elissa said...

I get celebrating a girl's passage to womanhood. But honoring a milestone is a bit different from splashing it across a cake for all to see.

Just like keeping something more-or-less private is different from being ashamed or disgusted by it.

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

Oh, sad! And so mean! I think I would cry if I had a period cake. A "Peroid" cake would have the same affect

DidoCarthage said...

Re: NiteNurse at 9:59am:

A midwinter Hot Flashes party! Brilliant! For the first time in 8 years, I'm sorry to be done with menopause. Wish I'd thought of it back then.

I rather wanted a discreet little celebration - a few women friends for luncheon - to celebrate my daughters' joining the ranks of womanhood, but neither of them would hear of it. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 12:21 PM

Orthodox Jews may celebrate puberty, but Orthodox men won't touch women they don't know because they may be menstruating and are therefor considered "unclean." Orthodox women need to go to a ritual bath after their periods so they are no longer "dirty."
Not much to celebrate there, if you ask me.


Surely, there's nothing shameful about one's monthly cycle. But a party? with cake? and pin the "tampon on the correct anatomical part?
Seems like a bit much.

Oh btw, I think rubies are a fabulous idea. And I'm till waiting for my menopause cake!

SoupAddict Karen said...

What kind of gift do you bring to a period party? I'll have to check Hallmark the next time I'm there to see if they have a section of greeting cards for this.

Tania said...

My parents did something like that, they gave me a card and a figurine of a girl with my age on it to commemorate my first period. At the time I didn't think it was odd, but after I told my husband he was totally weirded out.

the cape on the corner said...

oh my gosh, i have a picture of me at what appears to be that age on the toilet, and i appear to be making the same face. what is WITH parents?

Ice Cream You Scream said...

Menu for a proper Menarche Party:

Eggs (hard boiled), fresh buns from the oven, red Kool-Aid, one of those lovely Menarche Cakes, and of course plenty of chocolate. And for a new twist on setting the table, instead of regular napkins...

Remember moms, good parenting isn't just about being all nice and comforting. It's also about making sure your daughter is motivated to move out on her own. This hoo ha should definitely sow the seeds of longing for sweet escape.

Trevor said...

I'm thinking a guy needs to have his first, um, err, I can't find a good way to say this... explosion cake. Yeah, that's it. Or eruption?

Anonymous said...

Is it bad that I made a red velvet cake lovingly decorated with a (ahem) party favor made out of frosting on top to celebrate the onset of my sister-in-law's monthly milestone? Hmmmm......

Anonymous said...

Oh, I don't know which is more hysterical, the cakes, or the multitude of comments here about them. Thanks for the great laughs all!

By the way, which of you gets to moderate the comments today? John, did you draw the short straw on this one? :-)

Anonymous said...

So what if other cultures celebrate it? We live in THIS ONE, and it's an embarrassing topic. Cultural context IS important.

Queen Julian XIII said...

Oh man! I wish you had posted this last week, when it was MY daughter's turn!

Oh, don't tell her I said so...

lol

Anneke (Mudhooks) said...

When I turned 50, I mentioned it in Sunday Service. During coffee hour, the new minister came up and crowed "Oh! We MUST have a Croning for you!"...

Personally, I am proud of my age and don't happen to think that 50 is the crest of a very steep hill and that all that lies before me is a vast thorny wasteland. I don't need to "celebrate" the fact that I have "become a crone"... YEESH!

Anonymous said...

I have no problem with celebrating if the girl is fine with it but I think maybe in a bit more a of subtle way. Red dripping cheesecake is horror inducing.

Anonymous said...

"So what I'm wondering is this; in this age of equal-opportunity, if we are celebrating a girl's step into womanhood with cake, what are we doing for the boys? "Happy Spontaneous Erection" eclairs?"

OK, way to make me snort milk out my nose!! I'll be laughing about that line all day!! :P

wv: naltiple - there were naltiple reasons not to order a cake.

Anonymous said...

THE CHERRY CHEESECAKE, Jesus Christ.

@ Anonymous 9:39 a.m. LOL

@ 9:57, yes, you are right, but those times I was old enough to have something more alcoholic...

Anonymous said...

"I'll dissent here. In many non-Western cultures menarche is seen as an important rite of passage, which makes a lot of sense socially and biologically."

BUT CAKE?

Couldn't we have a ritual passing of jewelry, anointing with oils in a nice hot bath, and a new wardrobe?

Would that not be massively better than writing the word "menarche" on a cake?

commanderd said...

My MIL once told me that 'WOmen should be honoured to get their periods as it means they are now capable of having babies!'

My uterus tries to KILL me once a month and I am happily never ever ever having kids so if I want to be less than cheery about the whole period thing I will be.

smuck said...

I remember the cake my parents gave me for my first wet dream party. I will spare you the graphical jokes that I could have made. You're all welcome.

tiny purple elephant said...

can you imagine you are a decorator in a backery/grocery and you are reading your orders for the day and you find this?????

Kristin said...

Aww man, I didn't know people got cakes to celebrate these 'milestones'! Now I'm upset that I didn't get a hysterectomy cake...imagine what could have been done with that one!

Anonymous said...

So what if other cultures celebrate it? We live in THIS ONE, and it's an embarrassing topic. Cultural context IS important.

I think the point was that the cakes may have been created for/served for people from other cultures who celebrate this milestone/rite of passage.

I am from THIS culture (American) and was happy to have a small celebration with friends at the time (outing for junk food/movie/manicures - although no cake that I can recall LOL). I was the last of my friends to get it and remember my mom making me feel pretty special that day.

Anonymous said...

Are you there, God? It's me, Lovonna.

Nana Rogers said...

Ahhmmm... They have my Mom beat. She had to announce to [everyone] in the family "Guess who became a young lady today" My sisters and I thought we would die.
When my sister's daughter started the first thing that came out of her mouth with a horrified look was "Don't tell G'Ma!!!" HA ha
And she might have served cake if she had thought about it. lol

JMO some things should be more private if that is what the "Young lady" wants.

Amanda said...

Okay, I lost it at the drippy cherry cheesecake! Seriously?! Wow. I love cheesecake, but some things should not be celebrated so ... vividly.

Cybrczch said...

And for a boy's special time...

Nocturnal emission cream pie

Sarah said...

Couldn't we have a ritual passing of jewelry, anointing with oils in a nice hot bath, and a new wardrobe?

Would that not be massively better than writing the word "menarche" on a cake?
.....
So what if other cultures celebrate it? We live in THIS ONE, and it's an embarrassing topic. Cultural context IS important.


I say it's only embarrassing because women are taught to be embarrassed by their bodies. And I think it's great that some families out there don't do that. And why not write it on a cake? We celebrate all sorts of rites of passages with cake... why not this one? if it's because you're personally grossed out by it... think about why you feel that way.

Anonymous said...

My parents never got me a cake, but they did RUIN my trip to Disneyland by forcing my late-blooming, easily-humiliated pre-teen self to attend a "This is how babies are made" movie at Epcot with 100 strangers. I cried for 6 hours and didn't speak to them for a week. And remained too humiliated through my high school years to even kiss a boy. Abstinence education? Try extreme mortification education. It's far more effective.

Anonymous said...

BARF!!!!

Pilgrim said...

oh my gosh... as if saying "happy period" wasn't bad enough... happy MENARCHE!?!? really? Who SAYS that anymore? and with a bloody drippy cheese cake? Man, I hope that girl turns 18 soon and can move out of the house.

Yah, I gotta say, I am now officially glad that my parents and I NEVER EVER talked about period and the fact that I got mine at 11 was a big secret. In fact, I'm nearly menopausal now and my mom STILL doesn't know I ever got it.
Thank you mom & dad. And I mean that.

eletelephant said...

I must have missed the memo about celebrating the one thing that I run away from screaming each month. Yeah, give me solitary confinement and chocolate.

Erin said...

Most horrifying post ever!

WV: Shears- I wish I could take the shears to my brain to destroy the memory of these horrific cakes. Poor, poor girls. And "Menarche Parties R'Us." ?!?!?! How can you live with yourselves?!

Janus said...

I have given the link to this page to my brother and sister-in-law, and I am making them promise that they will NOT do this to my niece.

Esty said...

Reminds me of the "Dharma and Greg" episode where Dharma and her mother are reminiscing about the celebration they had for the occasion of Dharma's menarche. Greg and his family found the whole thing very cringe-making as (probably unfortunately) so do most of us.

wv: poite. It is not poite to celebrate the onset of menses with cake.

catfest said...

Cultural, schmultural! I was grossed out and horrified by my "transition". I was nine and shy and not ready to "be a woman", bleccchh. I understand that it's 'natural' and means you can procreate. Yeehaw. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't want kids. I'm a cat lady ;) And, moms, what's with all the Public Joy and telling everyone? Read these posts and stop embarrassing your "women", please and thank you!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

I agree with Elissa @12:48. I'm not ashamed or think it's wrong to celebrate if that's your thing - it's a natural occurrence. But to write '1st period', 'menarche' or 'potty' on the CAKE?!?! Yum.

I guess to the rest of us, it would be akin to 13th (becoming a teenager) or Sweet 16 birthdays.

To those wondering about cakes for the guys...there are plenty of weird sperm cakes and phallic castles, mushrooms, balloons, rockets, funny noses, and (coming soon) turkey cakes to hint to your young man that you know what's up. ;-D

wv: pusedi. Do they serve pusedi and meatballs at these parties?

BADKarma! said...

Aw, c'mon... Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, says "we love you sweetie!" like a menarch cake... particularly when paired with an edible visual aid!!!

Amelia and Justin said...

My mother sang "happy womanhood to you" (to the tune of "happy birthday")... But, I guess that isn't as bad as having a cake to celebrate the "joyous" occasion. Although, honestly, cake would probably brighten the crappy situation.

MorbidMiss said...

Celebrating the first cycle isn't new, it just is not done very widely because most people are still so squeamish about reproductive functions.

I got "Congratulations you're a woman now" (no cake), but at least I was better off than my sister that had no idea what was happening to her. My mother was not big on talks.

Although I have to say I'd probably just take my daughter out to lunch and let her skip school that day. Just because I am all about being body positive does not mean I need to drag her father and brother's into a huge production over something that is likely to make her uncomfortable.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I wasn't going to say anything... everyone's been doing a great job at that, without my assistance. However, just as I was finishing the comments section, the radio played that old Conway Twitty song, "Put Your Hand in the Hand of the Man Who Made You a Woman," and I just lost it, for some reason!

Think of the cake that "womanhood" moment would spawn... *shudder*

Merry from Annie's Book Stop

WV: baricily - "Lovonna could baricily contain her feelings when she saw the cake Mom had purchased."

Jenny said...

Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. Thanks for giving my mom that great idea to order a cake.

Pam said...

When I subscribed to this blog, I did it for just the posts, however I often catch the posts on Facebook too, and then read the comments. I think I may re-do my subscription to include the comments. They're almost as good as the original posts! Great job everyone!

Jen said...

Hey girls, do you all remember that awful movie (or was it a filmstrip?) we had to watch in fourth grade to prepare us for the exciting time about to come our way? When the girl in the movie got her first period, the mom couldn't contain her excitement and had to share the news with the dad. HE was so proud of his little girl that he exclaimed, "Let's go out for ice cream!" All the girls in my class gasped at the thought of our fathers knowing about it at all, let alone having them be excited for us and wanting to celebrate it. Maybe that dad could get together with the families that ordered these cakes so they can have ice cream at their party too.

ilze said...

Re: " In many non-Western cultures menarche is seen as an important rite of passage, which makes a lot of sense socially and biologically. "

Yes, in many non-western cultures, menarche is the time when the girl 'becomes a woman' biologically and can be socially married off.

I shudder to think about young teens being married off to the highest bidder.

I shuddered throughout today's blog too.

pednurse said...

Considering I'm a school nurse and today's schedule included me giving the Human Growth & Development talks (aka: learn about your period!) to the 4th & 5th grade girls....this post was HILARIOUS!!

Anonymous said...

though the reality of life. disgusting things like that are no call for celebration or cakes. if i were the bakery, i would refuse to do it.

-thisisbs

Jessica said...

That last picture reminds me of one almost exactly the same of my sister and me. I was the little sister on the toilet with my sister standing next to me (possibly sans pants) with her frankenstein looking hair (80's). My Mom was such a bugger with the camera!

Thank goodness they never put it on a cake....

Aliza said...

Several commentators make a good point about cultural differences. Still, I'll definitely take a bat mitzvah (and the attendant anxiety over singing off key in an unfamiliar foreign language in front of several hundred people, among whom are family and classmates) over a drippy red cheesecake and public announcements over something that had me doubled over in pain to the point I was nauseous in the early years!! I'm soooo glad that my mother's welcome to womanhood speech was instructions in using tampons so nobody'll know while doing sports! (And I can't believe I'm writing this on a public website... about cake)

And @Kaede-- what a lovely idea! For a cross-cultural theme, there's a long tradition in Judaism about rubies (also a red gem) signifying a woman's worth (it comes from a lovely poem). For menopause, given the hot flashes, a fiery opal would be symbolic -- but your message of strength is more powerful.

And I also think the idea of a menopausal cake is brilliant. Given what my colleague's going through, definitely an ice cream cake... and I like that summer party idea midwinter (hey, now THERE'S the benefit of a cold Canadian winter!!)

Anonymous said...

"I say it's only embarrassing because women are taught to be embarrassed by their bodies. And I think it's great that some families out there don't do that. And why not write it on a cake? We celebrate all sorts of rites of passages with cake... why not this one? if it's because you're personally grossed out by it... think about why you feel that way."

Er...'cause I'm bleeding uncontrollably for a week? 'Cause it's smelly and messy? 'Cause it's a freaking hassle? Cultures that make a big deal out of menarche tend to do so because it means the girl in question is officially a baby factory who's open for business. (BTW, any cakes for reproductive and prenatal health ignorance, teenage pregnancy, lifelong menial labor, and overpopulation?) If that's what was going on here, and the girl was in on it, that's okay. If not, poor her. The cakes are funny either way.

Anonymous said...

To the various dissenters, I have to say this. It's one thing to celebrate womanhood and not shame girls about sex. It is something else entirely to have a cake celebrating a private bodily function. A period is a girl's moment, not a family one. And frankly the idea of a period being the signal of womanhood and therefore something special to celebrate has some unfortunate implications. It's celebrating her ability to become pregnant, which in older eras was special because it would be the time to marry her off so she would stop being a burden on the household.

On the other hand, if the girl asked for such a cake, that's different. But I know the last thing I wanted when I got my first period was a celebratory cake. Because periods objectively, cultural influence or not, suck. It's painful, I'm usually in a bad mood, and it's annoying to deal with. Any cake I had would've been a consolatory gift.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what whackos to want to celebrate a girl becoming a woman. Totatly sick! We should be keeping the shameful, disgusting occurance a secret! What utter maddness to think otherwise.

Anneke (Mudhooks) said...

There are many cultures which celebrate or mark the passage through puberty... They have time-honoured celebrations with meaning. They don't order a cake with drippy red jelly on top.

Brooke said...

Quick question... is a "peroid" a period on steroids? 'Cause I think a cake would definitely help in that scenario...

Michelle said...

My jaw was on the FLOOR from that last one!! eeeeeeaaaaaaggggghhhhh!!

Ellen said...

All these people fawning about celebrating a first period and not being ashamed -- I didn't see anyone here talk about being ASHAMED of that; rather, there are just some things that many people prefer to be private. Do those menarche-celebrating cultures also have everyone over for dinner to celebrate a boy's first nocturnal emissions? Just because things happen doesn't mean everyone wants to know. We pretty much assume that these things happen to everyone.

Jennifer said...

Peroids? Are they like steroids, but for women?

Charles Ellis said...

Is it sad that I (a 42 year old male) already knew what "menarche" meant before reading this blog entry?

jillb-ilslp said...

I was enjoying the post and all of the comments and felt no need to comment until I just read Brooke's comment at 9:54 pm:
"Quick question... is a "peroid" a period on steroids?"

Good one, Brooke! I can totally relate.
I'll be stealing that line.

Anonymous said...

I never saw the filmstrips in school as I was out sick both years. my mother and I had a "talk" before mine started and she explained it as a natural, biological function which, like flatulence, one doesn't discuss in public as it's "not necessary." :D I LOVE my mother!!

BTW, in many parts of the South (SE part of the USA for those from elsewhere) even 70 years ago girls were married off after their first period. so, the "cultural" discussion is more a regional thing than international for my family. I would have been an 11 year old bride.

-Barbara Anne

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord...

Words fail to express my utter horror and disbelief that a parent would subject their own flesh and blood to such humiliation. I would NEVER live it down if my parents ever did THAT.

I have NO PROBLEM with them having a cake to 'commemorate the occasion', but really...

Arlene said...

Oh no not the drippy cherry cheesecake! They just had to embarrass that poor girl lol. I would take the cake and run away and eat it in my period misery. Not nice parents not nice at all.

Anna said...

All together now... EWWWWWWW!

Dr. Mar said...

Menarche cake? With some flower "pads" on the side. That's a celebration cake!

Alice said...

I'd just like to thank my parents for never doing anything like these cakes. Thanks a lot. :-D

MissNay said...

I've been thinking about the first cake periodically all day and what keeps hitting me is that some moms would look at that cake and only see it as a wreck because 'period' is spelled wrong.

pikkewyntjie said...

Okaaaay . . . if this is what the girls get when they go into puberty, what do the boys . . . um, never mind.

On the other hand, if those cakes are chocolate, then yes, totally appropriate! The inscription should say, "Happy menstruation, sweetheart! Here's some chocolate. Trust me, you're going to need it!"

Desiree said...

Haha my mother is JUST the type to buy a happy first period cake. More as a joke than anything else. I'm pretty sure she did try and throw me a party but luckily she thought better of writing it out all obvious-like on a cake.

Anonymous said...

Some of those defending these cakes are killing me...I get that a girl's first period is a milestone and not something to be ashamed of. Still, I don't want to eat a cake celebrating any bodily function. Just not something I want to be thinking about while I eat. My son skipped around yelling "I have penis hair" one day. Yea, him! Didn't go get a (icing) hair-covered cake to celebrate his entry to puberty. Just sayin'.

Got a great laugh from the suggestion of spontaneous erection eclairs.

Anonymous said...

Not that anyone will see this in the sea of comments but my mom baked a red velvet cake when I had my first period, cut it in the shape of a maxi pad and put strawberries on top. I think it was my most embarrassing moment of my life, and I'm 33 now.

I was 16 and almost 17 when she found out, so she probably did it out of relief.

IT WAS HORRIBLE! NEVER EVER DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN!

TravelGoddess said...

And now for the REALLY "ick"factor: I wonder if the first period cakes were red velvet? (ba-dum bum!) I'm demanding a change cake when I have mine!!!! I'll be making it myself and cutting it with a chain saw.

Anonymous said...

This may be my favorite cake wrecks post ever. The cakes and the comments have been so, so entertaining. Thank you Sarah for the Gloria Steinem link; I had never read that before and loved it. (And what an interesting website!!)

Charles Ellis - No; what's sad is that so few others knew.

Brooke - "period on steroids" Love it! Finally I have a name for what I go through very month, especially the first few days!

Love this blog!

Julie said...

When I had my first period at age 12, my mom called my dad, a child psychologist, at work to tell him about it. That was awful. But then my youngest sister wanted to celebrate it with cake since she liked to celebrate everything with cake (she still does). My mom baked it and let her, at age 5, assist with decorating. It was all white with a giant red blob of a period in the middle of it. Very tasteful.

I now have 2 sons and seeing how they should also have a first to be celebrated, I did read that some people do celebrate their son's first successful masturbation. I had a blast going out to coffee with my friends and wondering out loud how this would go. The family goes out to dinner and we tell the server the reason for our celebration? Have a cake made- and how would that be decorated? Endless possibilities!

Cupcake Liners said...

I just barely came across this site and it is hilarious! Thanks so much for sharing.

ali said...

omg i wasn't celebrating my 1st period. Guess there is a cake for everything.

wv: ultarica-a really rich person

MorbidMiss said...

This is a cake site not some Political Debate. To the people going on and on about over-population and teen aged brides, give it a rest! These cakes are clearly not made in *those* countries! They are just some over enthusiastic parent's attempt at acknowledging that their daughters are GROWING UP! I do not see, "Now give me grandchildren!" Any where on any of them! Lighten up.

SandyG said...

Trevor said...
I'm thinking a guy needs to have his first, um, err, I can't find a good way to say this... explosion cake. Yeah, that's it. Or eruption?

Trevor, according to Wikipedia the first ejaculatory experience of boys is termed semenarche.

annacakes said...

wow, I had to look up menarche, and boy i am glad I didn't have that party! I was MORTIFIED that I had to tell my mom I even started, if she would have thrown me a party, i would have run away from home.

Anonymous said...

Oh man that cherry cheese cake reminds me of "Ginger Snaps". There is this awesome scene where her mom finds out Ginger has had her first period and gives her something akin to the monstrosity seen here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZgFcGtTWck

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, My cousin told me that whenever any of the girls in her mother's side of the family got their first period, they got huge parties. The whole extended family would be invited for a barbecue. I told her I would be completely mortified.

VW - MENDISH - what is done when a wrecked cake gets somewhat fixed. Well, it isn't mended... its mendished.

ThatDeborahGirl said...

I can only visit cake wrecks once per week because howling in hysterical laughter for hours tends to make people think I'm crazy.

What in bloody hell were these people thinking??!! Happy Menarche? I can't even laugh. It comes out as some sort of piteous moan that slightly resembles a chuckle and then the sad moan again.

My eyes need more eye bleach please.

Had my mother shown up with a cake like this I would have immediately petitioned for emancipation with pictures of the cake for evidence.

3ringquercus said...

Wow. I love cheesecake, but some things should not be celebrated so ... vividly.

Could be worse. Could have been a jelly donut.

Anonymous said...

And to think I only got diamond earrings for my first period! Damn I'm unloved.

Anonymous said...

A period cake? Really? O_o

The first onset of what is to be monthly episodes of pain for the next few decades isn't something you really celebrate... especially with cake. >_>

Having said that, I still laughed (and cringed) my guts out! XD