Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I'm Hunting Wreck-Its

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tracy in Washington wrote a while back to request Wrecks with, and I quote, "all manner of dead animals, people with shotguns or rifles, or dogs pointing at birds." Because apparently Fall is hunting season. And she seemed rather happy about it.

And, since I don't generally make it a practice to disappoint people with shotguns: Tracy, this one's for you.

- Shotgun shells?
Check.
- Edible photo of a deceased duck?
Check.
- For a groom's cake?
Check, please.

'Course, the dead duck in that picture IS a little subtle. I mean, he might just be sleeping. How are your guests supposed to know that the duck has, without question, joined the choir invisible?

Fortunately, there's always this option:

Now that's a dead duck.

Also, I've seen a lot of these cakes, and I have to ask: why shotgun shells and chocolate-coated strawberries? Why not shotgun shells and pineapple? Shotgun shells and kiwi? Or, heck, shotgun shells and sprinkles? I mean, so long as you have actual shotgun shells for the groomsmen to pluck off the cake and load their guns with, we're all good, right?

Aw, rats. These shells are edible:

If not recognizable.


Getting back to the deceased fowl, though, here we have a lovely SWEET MERCY WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT TURKEY?!?

Not cool, man. Not cool.


'Course, when it comes to hunting cakes, most folks prefer a little more bang for their buck:


This is like one of those 20 questions games: there's a dead deer in the middle of a forest, with a Diving flag beside him. Now: How did he die?


Wow. I just realized: there's nothing like a dead deer cake to make you appreciate the ones without gunshot wounds:

Plus I kind of like this guy. He's all, "What? You want a piece of me? Huh, punk? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!?"

Or, for a more subtle touch, try just jamming a set of antlers in your cake:

I tried this once with a set of chicken wings. In related news: some people just have no sense of humor.


Well, Tracy, Elmer Fudd, and the rest of you, in conclusion:

May all your Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks* be the stuff of legends.


Thanks, Paula L., Cory & Haley, Ramona S., Hollye S., Carly, Sandy C., Heather F., & Kristen S. I hope these were worth the doe!


*Note from john: If you got this reference, I'm slow clapping in your general direction.

**Note from Jen: If you got the reference *and* understood that we purposely changed "crumple" to "tinsel," then I'm awarding you virtual gold stars.

And there is no hidden meaning to "slow clapping." Honest.
jeni said...

Friday's the big day, John! Of course we get the reference.

Alex said...

The picture on the top of the first one is a dog, not a duck. Making the cake even more disturbing. Maybe this cake was served at the dog's wake?

coeurdechoeur said...

I'd better hear some slow clapping. Now back to reading the latest issue of the Quibbler.

Jenny said...

These remind me of my suprise (horror?) at recently entering a Christmas shop and finding shotgun shell wreaths. That light up. Classy.

And yes, I live in Texas. Big suprise, right?

Also, crossing fingers for some tinsel-horned Snorkacks in upcoming HP movie ;)

PeaceLoveMath said...

How could you NOT get that reference? HP7.1 comes out THIS WEEK! Sheesh. Come ON.

Joanna said...

Tinsel-horned snorkacks. :-) Brilliant, although the cake is certainly not.

Sharon said...

In defense of the shotgun shells: There is a kit out there to make edible ammo out of fondant and quite frankly, you can't tell the difference between them and the real thing if you do it right.

However, that's the ONLY defending I'm doing on these cakes today....

Sharon's Edible Art

Eryn said...

OMG I snorted while trying not to laugh out loud!

Sasha said...

I do not usually comment on your posts, but I had to this time since I am a fellow Harry Potter geek and Luna is one of my favorite characters. I really enjoy how you slip all the references into your posts. You guys are really funny and I would like to see more videos like the one John and the other Jen did.

Little Lucy said...

Ok new shirt suggestion -
"I want shotgun shells....and sprinkles!"

Trevor said...

Oh dear, where to begin.

Wreck #1: I can't believe you actually failed to mention that the picture is residing on what appears to be a stack of poo. I mean, really? It's textured and everything.

Second Wreck: You know, if the topper were made of cake, I have to give kudos to the decorator. The work is really good, if not a bit, um, tasteless.

Third Wreck: What IS he doing to that turkey? Yikes!!

And I think I'll stop there. I've scared myself too much.

Rachael said...

I love it! Entertaining as always!!

Amy said...

Luna Lovegood FINALLY joins Cake Wrecks

Anonymous said...

Why, of course I got the snorkack reference! And I loved it too! As long as you don't start calling the "deer" daisies, I think we are all good!

Shelley in So. Illinois
(who is a hunting widow this week of her BIRTHDAY!)
(happens every year so I should be used to it, but, man, it is my BIRTHDAY!)

...and by hunting widow, I mean my husband is hunting, not that he was shot and killed while hunting.

Jennifer g said...

Even my 4 year old daughter said "that's not even a deer!"

Joanna said...

Jen,
Thank you so much for my rolling-on-the-floor-can't-breathe-for-five-minutes laugh today. I had to get up early today and it's all muggy and icky out and was looking like it might be a bad day, but you just turned it into a B.A.D. day.
~Joanna

Alyssa Jackson said...

Hahaha, sneak Harry Potter reference! Beware the false Crumple Horn Snorkack, or it will blow your house to smithereens :)

M said...

THAT IS AN EX-DUCK!

jojo said...

I just love a "piece of me" makes me want to send it to my ex-husband!

Katherine said...

i thought it was "crumple-horned snorkack"

Renny said...

I love it when people slow clap in my general direction :) (Is there really anyone left in the world that wouldn't get that reference?)

Classic Steve said...

Is it just me, or is that one huge turkey?

Of course, the whole cake is a figurative turkey.

Anonymous said...

Ya know, the antler cake, minus the antlers, is actually very well made & may have ended up in Sunday Sweets pre-antlers. Also, I'm loving the Harry Potter reference!!! Cannot wait until this weekend!

-Reagan

Brittani said...

What? I think I have some wrackspurts in my ears.

Anonymous said...

The hunters have finally been outed. I seldom slaff out loud, but the turkey one did it this morning.

Slaff: shout/laugh in shock/surprise/amusement

Kaitlyn said...

Yummmmmmm! Nothing like a heaping serving of lead on your grooms cake!

Anonymous said...

@Alex - smacking my forehead. There's a dead duck in front of the dog on that cake. Look closer. lol

Dragon-girl said...

Hahaha :D great :D Love the books, but I hate the films. Luna is awesome, though - both in the books and the the films! That actress fits her almost perfectly!

Loving the HP referene, if you hadn't guessed (lol) :D

Lucy

Donkaloosa said...

Just what is he doing to that poor, defenseless turkey??? Is this now an X-rated site??? :-D

JuliaKoponick said...

I think the picture on the first cake is a dog, not a duck.

emilysandlin said...

Please throw some slow-claps my way! I know my Luna Lovegood!

Katie said...

That's it. From now on, any time I see a groom's cake with shotgun shells, I'm just going to assume that this is the subtle way to announce he knocked her up.

I know it's s'posed to reflect the groom's interests, or whatever, but I've yet to see one that doesn't make me go, "oh, please." It wouldn't be impossible to do something in a tasteful camouflage pattern and leave it at that, would it?

Stella said...

The turkey, hunter and your comment sent me over the edge. 'scuse me whilst I go wash my face....

Ren said...

Yay slow clapping my way!

Also, I do not think those are antlers jammed in that cake - too many weird, nubbly spikes. And the color is off too...they look more like cockroach legs.
http://www.jimstonefreelance.com/cockroach_leg.jpg
(Though I understand the confusion/possible attempt at what should look more like this: http://www.dumbaaldum.org/images/pic-sounds/letter-a/antler.jpg)

Angie said...

That gun-shot-wound deer is disturbing, to say the least. And I wondered "wtf" about the diving flag before I read your commentary on it. What the heck?

(Why the slow clapping? I got the reference [I think the tinsel-horned snorkacks are probably harder to find, but prettier to look at, than the crumple-horned ones, just for the record], but got lost on the slow clapping.)

Jedijson said...

They're releasing the movie for me, as it's my 40th birthday. And yes, I have the tickets for the midnight showing.

Did you show the picture to Mr Lovegood? Would have saved him a TON of money!

Shannon said...

I'm wiping tears from my eyes, laughing over these cakes. Why bullets and strawberries? What IS he doing to that turkey? The dog with the dead duck in his mouth... HOWLING with laughter. I mean, nothing says come and get it like that, right? HA HA HA HA

I love this site.

Marnie said...

@ Renny,
I'll admit to being in the group of people who didn't know the reference. No slow clap for me today :( Oh well, maybe tomorrow, right?

But the cakes were sad, disturbing, and hilarious, making this a great wreck day!

Brooke said...

OK, so here's the deal. I love this blog. I think you guys are hilarious and the cakes are horrible (except on Sunday, of course). But I rarely literally laugh out loud. Until I saw that otherwise normal blue cake with real horns jammed into the top. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. I'm still chortling. I'm going to be laughing about that all day. Thanks!

JamesterCK said...

LOL too funny! The one with the antlers sticking out would be a really pretty cake...without the antlers on it. And wow to the people that aren't getting the first cake. You know you can click on the picture and make it bigger right? There's clearly a dead duck in front/to the side of the dog. I swear, I think some people just read this blog to point out "flaws" in the blog post. Anyways...awesome post as usual!

Erin Kelly said...

Oh, dear god - that was horrifying, hilarious, and wrong on SOOO many levels. I almost snorted water up my nose at the 'there's a dead deer and a diving flag in the middle of the woods. How did it die' comment.
Awesome. Just awesome.

The Boob Nazi said...

I love the alive one staring out from the cake. It is awesome.

Marcy W. said...

I'm reading book 7 again right now! Well, not RIGHT now, because I'm typing, but you get the general idea. Oh, and I think it looks more like an Erumpent horn, don't you? =P

LeftWingLock said...

So people were grossed out by yesterday's "food" cakes but find dead animals and ammunition amusing? Seriously??

That is incredibly disturbing. And disgusting. And definitely NOT amusing.

KB said...

Loved this. Simply loved it. :) Thanks!

bigbadteddy said...

Have you seen Earlene's cakes?

They put actual turkey feathers on their shotgun shell and choco covered strawberry cakes.

http://www.earlenescakes.com/Hunter_Nuts.htm

x_x

knine22 said...

Not cool, man. Not cool. LOL

and the diving flag? What the hey?! really, i'd like to know. ha ha

but shot gun shells and sprinkles would be the best... edible shot! mmmmm...
- - - - - - -
now i must admit, that i'd never heard of "groom's cake" until i started reading CW two years ago. so i'm going to ask what's been weighing on me. is it an American thing? English? is it a new ? and why?

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or did anyones else notice wreck #1 is on the floor. Classy, classy......

becca said...

this is turning into another epcot, both with the dog AND duck in the first picture (look harder, people!) and with crumple turned into tinsel b/c of the pipe cleaners......guess some people just don't get it.

Sherron said...

The last two days have made my stomach turn. I don't usually get so queasy looking at cakes. I keep asking, These are cakes? Seriously? Why?

Anonymous said...

The one is a picture of a black lab type DOG and a DUCK on the ground in front of the dog on the lower right of the picture, mostly just the head and neck of the duck.

Stephanie said...

This was a bit disturbing on all levels - who ASKS for a cake like this? who decides it's a GOOD IDEA to have a cake like these? Shudder.

On another note, i just watched Starship Troopers yesterday and the antler cake kinda has an eery reference to those alien bug things.

Potterwatch's Peeps said...

Are you certain those weren't Erumpent horns jammed in that cake?

Sinnamon said...

The chocolate covered strawberries make it classy of course.

absepa said...

Luna would be delighted that you have discovered a new variety of Snorkack. I hear the Tinsel-Horned can be really elusive, though. :)

Gina said...

Gross. That first one looks like it's covered in dog food.

Anonymous said...

Tastefull camo pattern HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
....Classy

sorry


~Mel

Ferralyn said...

I now challenge John and Jen to find some "tasteful camouflage" (from Katie's comment) cakes. Most of the camouflage cakes I've seen are aw-FUL. Good luck, J & J.

I love the "What? You want a piece of me?" deer cake. That one almost made Coke come out of my nose.

myimaginaryblog said...

We got thrown off the trail by the fact that there's a Pokemon known as a Snorlax, but a 2nd quick Google search set us straight. Yay Luna!

4Broomes said...

I know it's a wreck but I really love the randomness of the deer and the diving flag. Say what?!?

Mindy said...

pastel green very low EPCOT threat level rumbling re: duck reference for Cake #1...yes, we ALL see the dog but look closer, Simba...

wv: taterspo. No usage, really, but it's such a happy word. Taterspo! Wait - with my 21 yo twins more excited about midnight Thursday than they were about high school graduation three and a half years ago, an era draws to an end. I shall have to say Taterspo often to cheer up; my babies are leaving the nest.

Cdaae663 said...

Ooh, Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks? Are they related to the Crumple-Horned variety?

Pie said...

I can't remember what a crumple-horned snorkack is because I seem to have contracted a wrackspurt.

~flying gurl~ said...

that is truly one way to *plug* a turkey...seriously that one deer with the creepy antlers belongs with the soul-less monkey from last week...which then brings me to the existential question if a deer gets shot in the woods why is there a diving flag by it...

~flying gurl~ said...

and being totally ignorant did not see all the hp stuff etc...*geesh* where is my coffee?

Justine said...

That is the LAST time that deer borrows my diving gear!

Ice Queen said...

What is the correlation between chocolate covered strawberries and shotgun shells? Is it a sublime to ridiculous thing?

I hope that turkey pressed charges. :P

sedienaleeb said...

what is with the dipped strawberries and dead ducks? seriously? is that what hunters eat or something?

marisaclock said...

Jen and John-

Not to be OCD... but it's Crumple Horned Snorkacks... whose horns are easily confused with an Erumpent's Horn. I am an EPIC HP nerd.

Jenny said...

Hi, Alex! Yes, a dog. With a dead duck! If you click on the photo, you'll get a better view of it!

To Jen & John... Next time, some warning please! I was eating and laughing, then laughing and choking, then laughing and gasping for breath! (That's my way of saying THANKS!)


"Alex said...
The picture on the top of the first one is a dog, not a duck. Making the cake even more disturbing. Maybe this cake was served at the dog's wake?

November 16, 2010 9:35 AM"

Knit Wit said...

A Harry Potter reference and an gentle nudge toward the Dead Parrot Sketch? Ah, I am a happy woman.

In spite of the cakes...

marisaclock said...

Jen and John-

I swear I'm only completely OCD when it comes to HP references...

It's a crumple horned snorkack- not tinsel horned.

I just read through that part again in eager excitement.

In other news- I want shotgun shells... and jimmies!

Kathryn Brooke said...

Have to admit... I like all the chocolate duckies posted around cake #1 tiers. Cute, especially if really edible.
:-)

Jana said...

I gotta concur with the antler cake looking like cockroach legs. Why would someone want such things sticking out of a cake? Ewww.

Bekah said...

Love that slow clapping. It makes my radish earrings jingle. (Who has tickets for the midnight showing? YOU BETCHA I DO.)

Snorkacks aside - stellar post, John. Keep the carnage coming.

WV: ovign; "No, deer are cervign, though without the antlers, some of these do look a little sheep-like."

Jenn (dish) said...

These cakes are disturbing, but in a homey kind of way. Because 'round here, they close all of the schools on the opening day of hunting season. And no, I don't live in the sticks...

wv = coyalwar
"You could have one hootinanny of a coyalwar with all of those shotgun shells. Ayup."

Anonymous said...

Ok the first cake the ducks look like dog poo and the one with the yellow and red "shells" looks like red licorice with can cheese spread!

I too am confused at the chocolate dipped strawberries, how is that manly? Romatic sure, but a deer head on a cake certainly removes all romantic notion of the strawberries!

Sherry said...

I think the "you want a piece of me?" deer's horns looks like gnarled fingers....just saying...

Angela R. said...

The one antler on the 3-D looking cake looks like a creepy skeleton hand reaching to you from beyond the grave.

Luna Lovegood said...

And now that I've adjusted my Spectrespecs, I can see the ghosts of all those wisea** relatives, many of whom were wearing their jeans tucked into their boots in order to add a touch of class to the festivities, pretending to eat shotgun shells. But it's not their fault. Wrackspurts are everywhere, right?

Nici G said...

As a "Yooper" (resident of Michigan's Upper Peninsula), I've seen my fair share of hunting cakes, but thankfully none that looked like these...

I know there's a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail about farting in one's general direction, but I've never hear the "slow clapping" version...

Much thanks for the HP reference though...can't wait to see it...

Jess said...

My beautiful daughter and I agreed that Wreck #6 scared the crap out of us. Are we the only ones that see the snarled, twisted zombie like fingers marauding as antlers??? And is the that TAPE holding them to the cake on the left side??? Crazy, now I am not sure I can eat the deer in my freezer.

drumnate said...

HP7?!?!? This weekend!?!?!? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did you really assume that I read all of those huge bill boards including the one 3 blocks from my house?

Tuesday'sChild said...

EPCOT Alert!! There's a *dead* duck in front of the *not dead* dog in cake #1. You can tell by the font.

T said...

I earned some slow clapping from John - yay for me... but boo for ALL the wreckerators.

Anonymous said...

There is a dead (or sleeping) duck in front of the dog.

Haz said...

Being a bit of a party pooper here but the blue antler cake looks suspiciously photoshopped...

lisadh said...

The gold pipe cleaner horns made me laugh. Ha!

Connie Moreno said...

hooooooooooo leeeeeeeeeeeee CRAP!!! I think I've seen it all now.

Laura P. said...

Even though I've never gone hunting, being a gun-enthusiast in the midwest and knowing people who hunt, this post is AWESOME! I too was wondering, though, what's with the chocolate-covered strawberries on all the cakes? Thanks for my daily laugh!!

Now for some more cakes with handguns... Please? :-)

zo said...

wow! i am no hunter so when i saw cake #1 i thought it had mini vibrators scattered on it :$

Sandy C also in SoFla said...

Ok, now I'M a wreckporter!! woohoo!

When I came across that dead dear with the dive flag... Is that a subtle way of telling guests to dive right in? Quick, everyone grab your buck knives and forks!

And the bloody shotgun hole? REALLY? truly a wreck-great execution but horrible cake...

pearljammies said...

That's not a tinsel horned snorkack! It's a crumpet horn! I recognize the grooves in the icing!

It's a class A non-tradable good!

Carolyn said...

I laugehed so hard on some these (especially the turkey cake with commentary) that I was in tears.

Anonymous said...

Folks, the Tinsel-Horned Snorkack is a holiday cousin of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Gold, sparkly pipe cleaner horns are it's hallmark. They can only be seen by those with an advanced sense of humor.

John and Jen know it's a crumple-horned snorkack. The cake has gold, sparkly pipe cleaners for horns. Thus, Tinsel-horned snorkack. It's a joke. Get with the program.

I don't know how you all go through all these comments with people constantly "correcting" you. I'd go insane.

That said, holy moly are these cakes horrible. WHY the chocolate covered strawberries? They are on every single hunting groom's cake I've seen. Is it to class them up?

Theresa said...

Yay Harry Potter! :)

Becky said...

Chocolate covered strawberries are such an odd choice to pair with hunting...

I, too, thought the first cake might be for a dog's wake, due to that nice picture of the lab on top (even with a dead bird in the pic). My first thought, though, was "giant poo-cake."

Anonymous said...

HP AND MP.. together, one post. I can die a happy little Luna.

(FB says I'm Luna - you gonna dispute that?) Eh? EH? Try and I'll sic that dear deer on ya. He looks ready to go at it.

*sigh* The cakes with shotgun shells and dead animals are nothing new up here in the Central Leatherstocking area of NY. Just sayin'.

I would love to see your cake with chicken wings, Jen!!

~~Di

btw - groom's cakes began as a heavier cake (carrot or such)chocolate confection as an alternative to the bride's cake. They've gotten a "little" out of hand. They used to be very elegant.

KJ said...

Please tell me you will post Harry Potter themed wrecks in honor of the movie!

ncsudancelover said...

Virtual gold star for me :o)

Angela said...

I think that the fact that the duck is not the most prominent part of that picture adds another element of wreckiness to the cake, as if it needed it. I didn't see the duck until John's commentary alerted me to its existence. I bet some of the wedding guests had to do a double-take to see the duck, too. Between the shotgun shells, dog, and dog droppings...um, I mean chocolate ducks... I was pretty convinced that someone had finally gotten that pesky Duck Hunt dog. But alas.

I think the second-to-last is my favorite, though, from the sheer inexplicableness of the the antlers rising from an otherwise lovely cake. The two seem completely unrelated. I don't really associate lightly cloudy skies and checker-print ribbon with dead deer.

I can has slow clapping?

wv: extendai

You're extendaing WHAT toward that turkey?

Trevor said...

@Bigbadteddy-

Earlene's turkey feathers are actually made from wafer paper, not real feathers, FYI. She does an amazing job with them. She's a very talented lady.

msyendor said...

Nope. Sorry. Strawberries dipped in chocolate do not make a convincing imitation of acorns.

But then, zombie fingers don't look like a buck's rack either.

Now all week I'll be humming "It's the second week of deer camp and all the boys are here. We eat and drink and shoot the bull, but never shoot no deer ..."

WV: arces -- guess we better better stop protracting and get off our arces to go see the latest HP

Anonymous said...

apparently, dipped strawberries DO go with everything. : )

missoularedhead said...

Ah, Luna. So glad she's in this one!

I am throughly disturbed by the shotgun shells on the cakes…and I have been known to hunt. Hmmm.

FPGSPC Secretary said...

Aside from laughing (and snorting), loudly, in public...I felt it was necessary to clarify that the first cake appears to be frosted with authentic hunt-field MUD.
Also, I loved the whimsical, and yet oddly formal deer top-hat. Why pastel colors and ribbons? It's an oddly feminine contrast with the antlers and wooden base.

The Mocha Monster said...

You know, that deer and diving flag cake is actually pretty well made. Perhaps it is a metaphor for the fate of James Potter? Not exactly sure how the flag would fit into the comparison....

Fire Witch said...

You know what, I don't think there's anyone here who didn't get that reference. I know I did....:D

Raquel said...

Yep, tis the season to bust out the Rudolph cake pans and the red gel. Wilton is missing a huge maerketing opportunity.

Kelsey said...

John...seriously how could we not get the reference with the movie being so close??? I would like my gold stars as well since I automatically changed 'tinsel' back into 'crumple'

Kelli said...

I cannot begin to count the number of times the words "Oh my dear God" run through my head each day when I look at the cakes. Today those words actually were spoken out loud. Many times! Oh my dear God, what were those people thinking?

TwilightTwins2 said...

I like how the first 3 were made classier with the chocolate covered strawberries.

Anonymous said...

cake #2: are the dead duck and the dog's head edible? are they made of cake?

JenericFN said...

Siriusly, you guys are the best!

Today of all days I needed some virtual gold stars, so thanks!

You can't really go wrong with anything HP related right now, though, can you?

Julia said...

Can I admit that I actually think the 2nd cake is pretty impressive? While creepy, the lab and duck are quite well done! Although I am not a big fan of the strawberries and shot gun shells....I would take the top part (if I was a hunter).

Sharon said...

I, like you, have no idea why chocolate dipped strawberries always seem to follow a camo- covered hunting groom's cake. It's certainly not something my husband packs on his lunches when he goes hunting. Sandwiches, sunflower seeds, and jerky make more sense than that.

I'm guessing that the bride has "allowed" him to have a hunting cake just as long as it can be "classed up a bit" by adding chocolate strawberries. ????

I didn't care for the chocolate ducks or the background either. From a distance, well, you know what it looks like....

I'd like to close on this note ♪...and I'm gonna get me a Thirty Point Buck!♫

Sharon's Edible Art

Amy D said...

Change the edible photo in the top one to a yellow lab, and I'm pretty sure that was my cousin's wedding cake!

Anonymous said...

YAY! VIRTUAL GOLD STARS!!!!

BADKarma! said...

Me, I'm kinda partial to all the little poo-ducks scattered amongst the shotgun shells on that first cake... O_o

Anonymous said...

"You can't really go wrong with anything HP related right now, though, can you?"

Lol, now that was a challenge if I ever heard one.

Anonymous said...

You know, the fact that there's a jelly shotgun wound on the deer with the diving flag (???!) doesn't bother me as much as the jelly around its mouth....

Jessica White said...

Haha, purchased my tickets for the midnight showing on Thursday night TWO WEEKS ago! Yes, I got the reference!! Slow or fast clap away!!

The deer with the gunshot wound kind of makes me want to cry.

Jessica White said...

Also, this is not the first time you've featured a cake with Chocolate covered strawberries and shotgun shells. Why? Whhyyyyy? Please someone, explain this phenomenon?!
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/08/buyers-remorse.html

Janett said...

I got the reference and felt all giddy about it. hahaha

drgns4vr said...

Long ago and far away Groom's cakes used to be a fruit cake. (And if you were a single girl, you were supposed to take a piece home in a little box and slide it under your pillow so you would dream about who your husband would be.
But in my small Midwest town fifty years ago I only knew that because I read old etiquette books--we just had "The" wedding cake with nuts and mints on the table (or if you were of Scandanavian descent you got real food).
Now, obviously, Groom's cake is whatever monstrosity you can think of. And there's probably a doctorial thesis there for someone on the symbolism of Strawberries and Shotgun shells.

WV unglowl.

MMM said...

@Sharon, do the edible shotgun shells have sprinkles in them?

Mel said...

Yey virtual gold stars. I don't think I've ever been so excited for it.

Lily Marie :) said...

how could anyone *not* get that reference??
*especially* with what we're all going to be doing this thursday at midnight!?
..or is that just me....
oh, and tinsel-horned FTW

Elizabeth Douglas said...

Well, I've earned an outstanding when it comes to references! GOLD STARS NOW! :D

EXPECTO PATRONERD!

What tickled me the most was I was thinking "why chocolate covered strawberries and shotgun shells?" then I kept reading and saw I wasn't alone. :)

Anonymous said...

I think that was a very accurately made snorkark-cake.kinda cute.tinsel and all.

+ i red "snow clapping" :D.

Boy George said...

Eeek! Photo #6 bears a very disturbing resemblance to the face-hugger in ALIEN! This is one of the creepiest cakes I have ever seen on this blog.

Haunted Mansion Geek said...

I got it! I'm so proud of myself!

Anonymous said...

I earned a virtual gold star... :-)

But, seriously... did you REALLY have to explain at the bottom with an edit to the blog re: switching words?

Never mind. Duh, obviously for the newbies to the blog.

Jen, I love you and John, your humour and off the cuff irreverence!

~~Di

Tami A. said...

Well I guess I know where John & Jen will be Friday! Yay, I get a slow clap and virtual stars!!

Hannah said...

Who doesn't get that reference? Shame on anyone who doesn't know what the Crumple-Horned Snorkack is! They exist, dammit!

Brooke said...

Hi Jen and fellow wreck lovers, saw this and thought of you. Don't know if you are familiar with this link but it has potential for Gold star wreckage, often well executed. Keep scrolling at least until you hit the the brain cake and you'll see what I mean :)
Also... dead animals really not doing it for me blech. Must be for MEN. You know big, burly, gottoprovethemselvesmencoztheycompensatingforsomething men lol
http://notsohumblepie.blogspot.com/search/label/Science

Mollie said...

Im confused... Isn't the pic on top of that first cake a dog? Then there's little chocolate duckies sitting around(:


Sorry, I hope you don't have another 'epcot' type breakdown if other people posted this.

Elisabeth said...

The hunter with the turkey totally had me lizzing a little!
(And yes, there is one person in this world who did NOT get the HP reference (I only know it's Harry Potter because of the comments) and I'm just fine with that.)

geeky Heather said...

Thanks for the slow clap and gold stars! =D

I hope those horns jammed in the last cake aren't Erumpent horns! =O

Anonymous said...

I remember some mystery quiz about a dead diver in the woods. So I think the answer to the deer and diving flag is that there was a forest fire, and the deer had been diving in the lake. The plane scooped up the deer and the flag along with a load of water, and dumped them on the forest fire. The deer landed on a tree, which explains the wound in its side.

And I think those are acorns. Lousy ones, but acorns just the same.

MissRon said...

Eeep! Did it again! I must remember to NOT read this blog when at work. I just started giggling hysterically at the 'bang for your buck' comment and had 3 sets of eyes turn and look at me like I'd walked in naked.

Oh Jen, thanks for being AWESOME! And might I say legen - waaaait for it - dary!

Kelsey said...

It's Wabbit season.

keep-imagining said...

Yay, Harry Potter reference! :D You made my day.

Sheriboberi said...

I am furiously rereading all the HP books before Friday, otherwise I may have missed the reference.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so the deer was practicing his semaphore before leaving the forest to join the Merchant Marines. Unfortunately he forgot that hunting season had started. Sadly the bright red flag made him an easy target.

Anonymous said...

Wow, somebody didn't look close enough at the first cake's picture. Yes, there's a dog, but there's also the dead duck at it's feet. Seriously people, don't mess with the Jen. She actually does look at the cakes for more than 2 seconds.

Craig said...

In case anyone else reads down this far, I'd like to point out that there is a duck in the picture on top of the first cake. I saw it without clicking on the picture.

The little ducks do indeed look like something the dog contributed, and the frosting does look like dog food. Might this have been the 'groom's cake' at a pet wedding? Of course, that wouldn't explain the shells -- or maybe it would. "Easy, boy -- what the vet did wasn't my idea. Just put the rifle down, that's a good dog..."

I wonder how many people tried to eat the shells. Shells, by the way, contain sprinkles. The first sprinkles with the great taste of gunpowder!

#2 By the time you get rid of everything that isn't edible, what's left -- frosting and chocolate-covered strawberries? Tastes great, less filling.

#3 They should have used macaroni. Wait for it...

#4 With all the green, it looks like the guy is wearing scrubs. Does that reduce the wrongness or take it to a whole new level? "Turn your head and cough, Tom."

#5 The deer looks like it has also been strangled (check the neck), which puts this one over the top in the weirdness sweepstakes. The diving flag makes me think of that (I hope) urban legend about the body in diving gear that was found in the aftermath of a forest fire.

#6 "You want a piece of me?" Yes -- one without so much plant life on it.

#7 Meh.

#8 'Hoppy Hunting'? It's hard not to see 'Hoppy Hounting', which makes even less sense. What is the thing on the plaque supposed to be? I was thinking something from Who-ville.

Thanks for the 'Pet Shop Sketch' reference, @M.

ElizabethB said...

WOOHOO! HP 7.1 On Friday!

Although, aren't Crumple-Horned Snorkacks purple and hairy? And they have a singular horn like a unicorn. Duh.

{/nerd rant}

ilze said...

Everybody else saw shotgun shells & strawberries on those cakes; I saw shotgun shells & deer droppings... More in keeping with the hunting theme, I thought.

erosennin_83 said...

Who wouldn't get the reference? Also do I get super special virtual platnium stars for getting the extra reference of the "in your general direction" comment? *angelic smile*

WV- unnand

"I would like a chocolate cake please."

"Unnand...?"

"Oh with raspberry filling."

"Unnand...?"

"Um, sprinkles?"

"Unnand...?"

"I just want a cake lady!" *runs away, looking back frightened*

"Unnand...?"

Juno said...

Ah, the tinsel-horned Snorkack, reminds me of those radish earrings my friend got me for my birthday. *nostalgic sigh*

Anonymous said...

HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I needed to get that out of my system. =D

Lovin Harry Potter (I also have the same birthday as him!),
Sarah

Anonymous said...

WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! I FORGOT TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE LUNA!! SHE'S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER!!!!!!! I'm really craving some vegetarian dish right now, because I'm afraid of my meat looking like that.

Sarah

BigD said...

Can somebody tell me what the black/brown clumps are on that first cake? I'm just hoping they aren't dog terds!! (fondant or otherwise!)

diana said...

Has anyone ever heard of a 'SHOTGUN WEDDING'???!! HAHAHAHAHAH

I guess this is what you serve when the bride is 14 and knocked up!!!!!! (I know leave the jokes to professionals)

FYI
For those of you not from the south, a SHOTGUN wedding is a forced wedding when the father of the underaged bride uses a little force to get the baby's daddy to marry his underaged daughter to make things 'RIGHT.'

Oh, yeah marriages like that end up looking just like the cake.....pretty s****y:) (sillly)

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing the hunter doesn't know THAT'S how you get the turkey trots...penicillin doesn't work on that, either...

-Barbara Anne

Beads By Lori and Sara said...

Ahh, the tinsel-horned snorkack....I hear it's native to Epcot.....

Serena said...

I find it an immense relief to know that there are people in this world who are as geeky and HP-obsessed (I mean, interested) as I am.
FRIDAY!!!

Anonymous said...

i want my virtual stars no plz! xD

stonesoupjewelry said...

I've just realized that the chocolate covered strawberries may perhaps represent bloody bits of the hunted animal's flesh. Or little mangled, muddy hearts. Because after a few looks at these cakes, that's all I can see.

Oh, and I would like to see a thestral cake some time, please. If not an intentional one, I'm sure there's a pathetic version of a horse out there that approximates one.

ViolaNut said...

Okay, I'm listening to DH on audio and they've been babbling about crumple-horned snorkacks for a whole chapter. Weird. Props for HP AND MP references in this post!

Anonymous said...

For the sweet love of god WHY?

Ice Cream You Scream said...

The perfect cake for a shotgun wedding.

♥ Luna ♥ said...

Well I'm glad I took some time off from making my new Butterbeer necklace to read this post - AWESOME! Hmm...maybe I could get you guys a spot in The Quibbler :)

Andrea said...

Talk about a shotgun wedding!

escalante blogger said...

I can't believe its a cake.

Tiffiny Felix said...

You know, things like the "edible shells" on the horrid spray-painted-camo cake make me wonder: Do the decorators really only have one size decorating tip? Why all the tiny piping to make up the shell? Granted, using a larger tip would probably result in something looking like poo-shells. I guess it's lose-lose whatever they do... ;)

Mollie said...

you know what? i just realized there IS a duck on the top of that first cake. the dog is just sitting next to it. hm...

Ham said...

The shrubbery on the second cake looks like juniper, which i'm pretty sure is poisonous. Wow.

Saintlike said...

gold stars for me! :D awesome day today, I got to see an early screening of the movie with my half-siblings, got a free movie poster, and gold stars for getting a snorkack reference! holey cow!

I won't spoil it for you by telling you whether or not there are any horned snorkacks: crumple-, tinsel-, or otherwise ;)

PS~ if this coming Sunday Sweets isn't HP-themed, I think I'll cry. And you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?

Owen said...

There is a certain elegance to the cake with the horns ejected out the top.

An elegance that accompanies poked out eyes and overall discomfort.

Caroline B said...

That's not the kind of stuffing I'd choose for my turkey........


Harry who?

jun said...

on first glance i thought the first cake was infested by cockroaches! :S

Shelley Parker Chandler said...

Personally, I thought the antlers sticking out of that one cake looked like giant cockroach legs. Thank goodness you identified them for me.

And, I want to see a cake with Nargles, please.

pikkewyntjie said...

I like the little chocolate duckies on the first cake! Itty bitty duck hunting rifles would be so much cooler than those clunky shells.

WV: laterd. Someone who is annoyingly perpetually late.

Anonymous said...

apparently I'm the only one who didnt get snorkack reference. But then HP got old after the second movie

xDante said...

I was Luna Lovegood for Halloween! A pretty damn good one too. But I didn't have a wand.... :(

Kaitlyn said...

Epcot Level Orange! And rising?




WV: derop. The readers who don't "get it" should derop off the face of the interwebs.

Heather said...

made me laugh out loud - at work - thanks - need that today!

awesome as always!

Anonymous said...

I may, just possibly, have another explanation for the "diver's flag"... in Pennsylvania, where I grew up with a hunter dad and several hunter uncles, when you got your deer, you would toss it in the trunk of the car, sometimes Especially if your brothers had already tied theirs on the front fenders). And sometimes, the antlers would hang out past the bumper. In Pennsylvania, items overhanging the bumper have to have a red caution flag of some kind to warn following motorists not to get too close. ANY ol' piece of red cloth would do - a bandanna, a hunting vest, a chunk of Christmas tablecloth, or... a diving flag?? Maybe they told the Wreckerator, "Don't forget the red caution flag!" and that one was left over from that SCUBA cake s/he did last weekend?

Merry at Annie's Book Stop

Sarah said...

Lol@ the reference! Love it! I was accually watching a special show thing on Bio about the thing that has it in it! :3 back to reading the Quibbler UPSIDE DOWN!

Sami said...

Weeeee! Gold star for me! :D

Donea Lee said...

Ok - those are just seriously disturbed, lol!! Too funny! Thanks - :)

Nonna Beach said...

I have to say, my Hubs would just love the cake with the shot, bleeding Deer for dessert/celebration after he had bagged a real one while hunting...it is pretty well done, although horrid to Bambi lovers out there ! ( something to think about for our next big anniversary maybe...)

lynellenyl said...

I'll admit, it took a second to get the reference but I was thrown by the "tinsel-horned" bit. Also, I think the antlers on the antlers only cake look like a giant kabutomushi (Japanese rhinoceros beetle) got buried in the cake. See as kabutomushi are already kind of large, it's a rather disturbing thought.

IvanMatfeevichRezansky said...

I think the perfect accompaniment for the shotgun shell cakes would be to also sprinkle them with silver ball bearing sprinkles - shot coming from the shells.

Anonymous said...

Yaaaaay! I get virtual gold stars! But...
If you *didn't* get the reference, I may be questioning whether you're well-read enough for survival.

Zoe said...

yay harry potter #5!

Lydia said...

Here's a more...... humane....... way to kill a turkey. Go to a turkey farm and yell "DAAAD!!!!!! LOOK!!!! IT'S A TURKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Enjoy your dinner! (Kisses fingers in a chef-like fashion)

Lydia said...

Don't you mean Weck-its?

Greg said...

Call me crazy, but as an outdoorsman, I actually think these cakes are kinda cool! Maybe I need to get my head checked.