GUYS! Do you know what time it is?
"Uh...lemme guess."Is it...
"National Imitation Crab Month?"No.
"Whirlpool Awareness Week?"
No."Oh! Is it football season?"
Close, but no. Here, I'll give you my "breast" hint:
Soon, you may be feeling a bit...STUFFED.
[gasp] "No...it isn't! It's..."
"Turkey Cake Time! AAAAAAAA...
AAAAAAAAA...
*gasp, gasp, gasp*
AAAAAAAAAAAA...
...AAAAAEEEIII!!Thanks to Barbra G., Tamara O., Kati K., Carol G., Anna S., Jen, Amanda S., Meghann P., & Kristine C., who think these fowl cakes are really for the birds.
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149 comments | Post a Comment
Whirlpool Awareness Week. Ahahahaha, that's awesomely bad!
Those are scary....
The "football" one isnt actually all that bad, though I dont really get the whole 'football lace' thing...
That last one cannot be labeled anything but a "turdkey". --Lila
I know that I wouldn't be able to do a better job making a turkey out of cake, but still, I don't call myself a professional or work at a bakery!
Oh, dear Lord, I don't even know where to start. Have these wrecorators even SEEN a turkey before? Do they know what one is supposed to look like? My new theory - Mr. Hankey is the new cake decorator and these are all self portraits in his attempt to be more than just a Christmas figure - "This year Thanksgiving, next year - ALL holidays!"
Tracy O
That last one is hilarious. It looks like Scooby Doo stuck in an inferno.
And the one before that, another good old fashioned electrified turkey cake!
Whoops, I meant the electric turkey was the 7th down. The next to last... I'm really not sure what to say there.
Good heavens, what IS that last cake? I'm going to assume it's a dog after an unfortunate incident with lighter fuel...
I hope this is not a warning of turkey meals to come. Last year's turkey got caught in the chemical/brine bath too many cycles, and that was truly a disgusting disaster. But these guys make me really nervous... Norine
As I was scrolling down to the last one, I first thought it looked like Scooby Doo. Then I decided it was actually the offspring of Scooby and Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
That last one reminded me of the guy in the late '70's and early '80's who used to show up at football games in the rainbow wig carrying the big "John 3:16" sign.
Either way, frightening.
The flaming turkey poo made me blow coffee out my nose. Ow...
I have to stop reading you at work! ROFLMAO!
To the list of rules for cake decorators (of which "Cannibalism is not cute" is Rule #1), can we add, "Don't try to make cake out of meat, and don't try to make meat out of cake"?
I only have one thing to say:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
The poor turkey in the last picture looks rather worried about being engulfed in flames. And the only things anyone thought to give him were pumpkins.
I thought the last one looked like a cross between Scooby Doo and a turkey. Scary!
At least one cake had nice writing on it, and everything was spelled correctly. (You gotta work with what you have!)
Number 6 would be perfect if you asked for a brown turtle swimming through a hoop of fire. A turkey? Not so much.
OK - So that last cake. . . kinda looks like Scooby Do on fire. . . no? Maybe it's just me. . .
#5 looks like Admiral Ackbar.
'Turkey Cake Time'
....no it's not, 'cos there is no way these are turkeys...I've seen turkeys and these are not them......
Football turkey? Looks more like a zipper and reminds me of a Frankenstein Turkey.
"Hey gang! If the turkey's not edible, we can always go outside and play football with our food!"
Sheesh!
I know turkeys are hard to pipe, that's why I avoid them, but these are horrible.
Sharon's Edible Art
The poo, the poo, the poo is on fi-ah!
That last one looks like Scooby Doo with his head on fire.
OMG! I thought the football with drumstix and little pilgrim flotsam was bad. But that last one is a flaming poo... Mr Hanky's on fire!
That last one looks like a flaming pile of poo...
Hooowdy-OOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!
Just sayin'.
That last one looks like a hedgehog having a bad hair day!
Cake 1. Hot dogs, feathers, what's the difference, really?
Cake 2. Mmmm, bacon wedges! Really says "thanks for the birthday." Actually, does that say "Let's Crive Thanks?"
Cake 7. I'm diggin' the psychadelic afro, man! Right on!
DB
Did you plan on the cakes getting progressively worse as you scrolled down? Of course you did! How silly of me.
I'm amazed that after all of the turkey wrecks you've posted since this blog began that there are still more ways to mangle a cake version of that bird.
Pretty lettering on #2. But I'm puzzled - what is a Tharks, and who are we giving it to?
#4 looks like an alien from Dr. Who that needs to visit a dentist.
The last one, well, it just brings back memories of the first time my sister hosted T-day and we had to replace her oven the next day. Nuff said. :-)
Why? Why? Why? Of all the imagery of Thanksgiving, why try to make cakes look like turkey?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I always thought that cake was dessert. Why would one try to make dessert look like the main course? No one (in their right mind) decorates a turkey to make it look like cake, so why (try to)make a cake look like turkey?
The mind boogles.
Love your blog, Jen and John. Thanks for all the laughs,and the Princess Bride and Python references!
To be fair, those pumpkins on the last one are actually kindof cute.
Gah. That first one I thought someone had clipped bacon triangles for leaves.
Cake #4 = Giant red ant head. Ant? Really?
WV: glocc -- weapon of choice for putting some of these cakes out of their misery
My son came in the room as i was looking at these and said, "Look Mama, they are on fire!". LOL
Cake #5 looks like an obscure Star Wars character
Some of these are just as you hilarious and horrible, the thing that I am always amazed at is the amount of FROSTING some times it's looks like 1/2 of it is cake and the rest is pure sugar!
Um. How can they call that last cake a ?! No, that's not what I see...although, it is still seasonal. Kids still put flaming poo on people's porches at this time of year, right?
That last one looks to me like a kangaroo running away from a brush fire. I have no idea what that has to do with Thanksgiving.
Is that 5th one staring at me? And throwing up? Dang I don't look that bad this morning.....do I?
I know I always like to stuff my turkeys with bananas, bunches of grapes, and a pine cone! (picture #5) That is so wrong I don't even know what else to say. -Emily
Yes, let's all crive tharks!
One day, someone will succeed in making a turkey cake that doesn't look like a flaming poo.
The first one has nice petticoats (good ruffle-tip work there), and the last one is a Scooby "ruh-roh" moment, but by far my favorite is the Flying Four-Fingered Flaming Hand of Death. Definitely want that laying on the table for our holiday.
I stared at that second one for a while, trying to decipher "Let's Crive Tharks".
I also thought the last one looks like Scooby Do, with a rainbow afro wig on. If you tilt your head, and squint at it.
The 5th cake, the one with the "stuffing" and the "fruit" around the opening? It actually looks like it's giving birth to...something.
Wow!! Amazing!! Not one of them looks like ...
AHHHHHHIIIIIEEEEE!!
Sorry, I started typing before I got to the last one.
I must be getting blase' about cakes - most of the time the turkey cakes look like genitalia. This year's crop is looking up.
Inventive on the 'football' turkey, since stuck firmly in front of the tv watching "THE GAME" where most guys are when the bird is done.
Scary, though, scary.
There's a reason I roast the turkey and bake pies for Thanksgiving. After following CW for a while now, turkey cakes are banned from the house.
~~Di
WV - vermenge -- is this what vermin take when they are ticked off at their cake representation?
For the love of all that is right in this world, why?! Why such detail on the "stuffed" turkey? I'm not sure I'll recover from that.
Do I know what time it is? Sure -- it's a week and a day before Thanksgiving. That means it's time for the final Christmas-themed sales before all the 'holiday' stuff goes back in the warehouse (tomorrow) and the Valentine's day stuff comes out. Why don't we just do to the calendar what we do to the clock -- only in reverse -- and be done with it.
#6, 8, 9 look like a wreckerator conflation (conflagration?) of a turkey and a phoenix.
#9 is of course a still from Scooby Doo's ill-advised Pepsi commercial.
Holy flaming poo!
Too funny!
To me that last one looks like an artist's conception of what it would look like if Rudolph wound up in Hell.
Oooh! This is my favorite time of year! Turkey cake wrecks are awesome. You'd think with the number of them you posted last year, the wreckerators would swear off making these, but "thankfully" for us, they don't.
Bring 'em on, Jen!
wv: axessom
"I'ma gonna go axessom turkey cake!"
Um, was this a Calvin and Hobbes reference, or was that just a coincidence?
That third one reminded me I'm due a hysterectomy next week.
Nona,
WOW it all the bakeries blind!
i'm astounded that year after year they just seem to get worse..i'm in Canada, and I've never seen a turkey cake here..but then our Thanksgiving is earlier than yours..maybe the decorators haven't yet imbibed here...as if...
Poor Alek!
Yup, that's right. Give thanks that your birthday even gets a mention on this year's Thanksgiving imitation crab cake.
Let me continue that for you...
"AAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" :D Just to let you know... :D
That was hilarious!
What's crazy, is that my name is Alex, and today (Nov 17) is my birthday. Wow, coincidence much?
I don't know if that's a turkey or not... but its just...special...
Does anyone else think the last one might be Hedgehog Flambe?
Whirlpool Awareness Week is awesome! Going around and around and around and....uh oh *reaches the middle and goes under*
The last one looks like a squirrel with its tail on fire!
The stuffed turkey with the... bananas? Are those supposed to be bananas garnishing that roast turkey cake? Anyway, looking at the "stuffing" for too long made me gag. I may just sit very quietly in a corner with a plate of carrot sticks this Thanksgiving.
Cake #7) If Don King was a turkey...
or The Bride of Turkey-stein.
The last one.. all I could think was "Ruh-roh"
LindaK
Hey, at least they don't all look like penises this year.
Don't know whatmade me laugh harder... the cakes, Kelly's new (and improved song lyrics), or Keeley's Flying Four-Fingered Flaming Hand of Death comment..
Carry on Commentors.... carry on!
The last one looks like poo on fire, rofl!
That fifth cake looked more like an alien throwing up than a turkey - is it really a turkey? Are you ...sure?
That first CCC is probably the nicest CCC I've ever seen. Which is like saying: This is the best tasting dirt I've every eaten, or that's the nicest pile of dog poop I've had to pick up this week.
"Whirlpool Awareness Week" LOL!
poor pilgrim--she's goin' down....
meanwhile, re: the last cake:
Poop! poop! your poop is on fire!!
(is this related to hemhorroids?
Do the leaves on the 2nd photo look like bacon to anyone else?
I kinda like the first one, especially compared to the other ones! And that last one looks like a messed up Scooby Doo running from a fire...
Note to self: When faced with the Thanksgiving turkey, try NOT to remember the turkey cakes posted here. Laughing hysterically will not be readily understood by my family.
"Whirlpool Awareness Week" LOL!
poor pilgrim--she's goin' down....
meanwhile, re: the last cake:
Poop! poop! your poop is on fire!!
(is this related to hemhorroids?
Cake #1: Needs a warning....that's all I've got to say about that.
Cake #2: Looks like they tried to make fall-colored leaves. FAIL.
Cake #3: [John Wayne voice] You'd better get yourself outta there pilgrim!
Cake #4: A fookey? A foorkey? A footkey? A Turball? I give up. Look at all the flotsam. Why is there a little chocolate bar there?
Cake #5: I'm with Gary - no cake meat and no meat cakes. That stuffing is gross.
Cake #6: Gasp is right!
Cake #7: Nice afroturkey.
Cake #8: Ugh. A CCC (patooie) made to look like the "hand" turkeys we used to draw/color as kiddies. Sad.
Cake #9: At the risk of being Epcot-ish, I first thought Scooby-Doo engulfed in flames. Then I saw another Warning (yes, my mind is in the gutter). I also see poo.
wv: pacesses: If these cakes pacesses as turkeys, then heaven help us!
That last one can't really be a turkey!
#1 icing covered toilet paper with red ladyfingers and a limbless gingerbread torso. who looks scared, like he's being tortured. is that red curling ribbon hanging down from his face??? did someone stuff a stick of dynamite in his mouth, poor little guy (ribbon= burning fuse)
#2 Mm..raw bacon...
#3 what a happy little pilgrim about to meet her lord in the swirling cool whip whirlpool of doom! with sprinkles. (or at least, colored sugar)
#4 is that a candy bar in frankenturkey's box? and what's with the paper cutouts of pilgirms and Indians jammed into its body? have we run out of plastic flotsam? or are those "claim picks"--the feast attenders' attempts to stake their claim on breasts and thighs (um, turkey meat) The brown mass on the left worries me. so do the pumpkin flowers.
#5 I don't really think that's a turkey. It's staring at me. It looks like a giant dung beetle with yellow horny things. eating dung. and a flower. or it could be some other type of creature, with blueberry toes (or teeth) and banana tusks. see? this is art. when we can debate what these things REALLY look like
#6 is that a long eared vampire dog fearing the rising of the sun? or is he on stage in front of a a sunny backdrop and suffering from stage fright? or is he being sucked into the black hole of hell? surely nothing to be thankful for...including the radish nose.
#7 a bushy bearded dude with a rainbow wig? what are we celebrating here?
#8 still trying to figure that one out. it does appear to have wings. and funky headdress.
#9 now that y'all mention it, he does look like Scooby Doo. a very scared, about to be incinerated Doo. And I do mean doo in every sense. How ironic!
to quoth the Princess Bride: "Dear God, what IS that THING?"
which applies to every cake in today's post. *curtsey*
My son wanted to know if the last one was supposed to be Scooby Doo in a turkey costume...
WOW. They all are like bobs of poo, concealed by pretty fall colors, or strangeness.
I looked at cake #5 just a second too long and subconsciously crossed my legs. Gross.
WV: kilid
These cakes kilid my appetite for cake on T-Day. Thank goodness for pumpkin pie.
This is a great post! My only question is, why is Scooby Doo on fire??
Is it me or does the last one look like Scooby Doo on fire?
Great pics.. I come here for a mood boost. Does it every time.
Seriously? The "cooked" turkey below the NFL Hall of Shame cake is horrid. It looks like you could attach jumper cables to it! Tune in Tokyo!
Katydid
Oh God, the last one...could it be a poocock?
When I saw the outstretched "wings" on Cake #8, the first thought through my mind was, "...as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!" Thank you, WKRP, for the best Thanksgiving show ever! And thank you, Jen and John, for giving my mind a Happy Place to go to after seeing these wrecks.
Merry at Annie's Book Stop
WV: peore. Someone oughta put these poor bird cakes out of our misery!
HOLY DEFECATION DEMON, BATMAN!!! Oh Batman, we may really be in for it this time.
please lord don't let that last one show up on my table. unless it's to claim grandma.
Ahahahahahahahahahaha!
That last one looks like a *cough* poo, wearing a rainbow afro wig. Oh my! Who even looks at that and thinks, "Yup, perfect turkey cake. Lets pop that on display"...........
Is it just me, or does that last cake look like a scared dog on fire?
the second cake sorta makes me think leaves made of bacon... darn now i want bacon
That last one looks like a flaming piece of poo.
who crapped in cake #5?
I think I'm required by Epcot law to say Hey, doesn't that last cake look like Scooby Do on Fire?
OMG!!! I love the flaming poo turkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Jessica
AAAAAAAAA!
The last one looks like a turd with a face and it's on fire. :)
My 2 year old claims the last one is a "halloween squirrel"
Wow, I have to give the last wreckerator credit for creating the "flaming piece of poo" cake.
I am sad to say this, but working in a certain red shirt khaki pants retail store's bakery....Unfortunately the photos we have to copy are these terrifying turkeys for turkey cakes. It kills me every single time I make one.
that football one made me laugh! that's a brilliant concept, just needs better execution.
i'm not quite sure what's wrong with Alex's cake. (surely a sign that I've been reading cake wrecks too long!)
As for the stuffed turkey... what are the yellow things? bananas? labia??
And the flaming turkeys... well, we now know the wreckerators are no good at barbecuing or cooking, either.
@Knit wit... a very good point. Although, if it does happen, have a laptop on hand and use it as a good opportunity to introduce them to the wonderful world of CW :)
I kinda think the last one looks like scooby....on fire
D.
On the football turkey with flotsam - is anyone else even more confused by the random piece of chocolate? The little Hershey's Special Dark? No? Ok, then. Just me.
Poor Alex! I always feel bad for people with holiday birthdays, but the bacon leaf piping is awesome!
I'm glad the 3rd cake acknowledges a little-known fact about the Pilgrims: in addition to all the other trials they faced, they also had to deal with swirling white and orange vortexes swallowing their children whole!
I've never seen a football that just had a Caesarean section before. Cool!
#5 is staring at me.
As for # 2 I think decorating a cake with leftover turkey gizzards is very artistic.
#5 is still staring at me. Make it stop.
This is a full-out feast of chuckles at the Chuckleheads who dare to make turkey cakes! ... The cupcake turkey is the best. It looks like it's giving the finger four times over. The one after it looks like an "artistic" interpretation entitled: Turkey In Flames.
Ah the flaming poo naughty bit cakes... best time of the year!
What the heck is that last photo? It looks nothing like a turkey. It looks like a chocolate lab with a blazing backside (the whole back).
OMG these are so FUNNY. that turkey one ?? who would have thought to make that???
that last one looks like a kangaroo in a bush fire, with some pumpkins.
Why bananas and grapes I ask. Why? Just why?
Our local bakery had a "turkey" cake on the counter the other day. I wish I could have some how gotten the picture. It was sad sad sad.
Anonymous at 4:54 said ""...as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!" Thank you, WKRP, for the best Thanksgiving show ever!"
Thank you for reminding me of that hilarious episode!!!
And IHeartBeer said "I think I'm required by Epcot law to say Hey, doesn't that last cake look like Scooby Do on Fire?"
PERFECT.
Good god, have these people even SEEN a turkey
The football cake...at least it's consistently seasonal?
The last one reminds me of a flaming pile of poo. (Flaming poo pile?)
Who in their right mind would actually PAY real money for one of these cakes ? Poor Scooby Doo as a flaming turkey...what a travesty !
I think I threw up in my mouth looking at some of those DX
Holy freaking crap! The last one looks like a dog who's ashamed of himself because he just lit the house behind him on fire and now it is engulfed in flames.
What is WRONG with wreckerators? Why don't they realize they can't decorate cakes and need to change their profession before someone gets physically ill?
WV: upses -- the direction in which Smeagol/Gollum moves in order to increase his altitude.
Killing turkeys causes winter!!
-Barbara Anne
Gosh, looks pretty awesome to me.
YES! Turkey Cake Wrecks are my absolute FAVORITES on here. Whenever I show people CW, I always tell them to search "turkey" as one of their first viewing experiences. I'm excited!
the last one looks like what you could find in an 18th month's old diaper..... good grief! Can't they get a grip on it?
#rd one is nice cake to eat yum yum
He he nice cake styles.. thanks for sharing
The last one looks awfully worried :D :D :D
Oh, man.... I have an order next week for a turkey cake. I hope it turns out much better than these poor creations!
EEK! Where's the humanity?!
Actually though, I'm glad for all the humor I can get now! Just got out of surgery and now I can catch up on all the Cake Wreck goodness while I lay in bed and make my poor man do all my bidding >:}
WV: "vilat"... the noise these pseudo-turkeys made instead of "gobble"?
OK, since no one else did, I'll say it....
The last one is Scooby Poo on fire.
OK, who set fire to my tortoise?
(Come in, Cake Number Six!)
I could be wrong, but I think that last one is actually a poo squirrel with a flaming tail.
Holy cats, people. First thing I thought when I saw #5 was "are you supposed to serve it with a SPECULUM?" Ewwwww.
And Kelly, your lyrics made me laugh so hard my basset hound rolled over and peed a little. Thanks.
-kate in Michigan
Make that "Flaming Turdkey".
LOVE the Mr. Hankey in a turkey costume...that needs to be on my menu for Thanksgiving! LOL
That last one is definitely Mr. Hanky on fire!
"Happy Birthday Alex ... Let's Give Tharhs"
???
Well, at least there are those leaves of bacon to nibble on while you try to figure out what Tharhs are, and how to give them (or why).
"Imitation Crab" cake looked to me, at first glance, to be decorated in bacon, delicately folded into those leaf shapes. I wondered if it was a fake cake and actually meatloaf or something of the sort. Which would be awesome with raw bacon on top. (Proscuitto crudo would be safe to eat AND delicious, and looks identical, though.)
Looking at these with my DH, and laughing pretty hard. Then we got to the last cake - I looked at him and asked "What the hell is that?" He laughed and said "A squirrel on fire." ROFL Sure as heck isn't a turkey!
I was referred to your blog by a friend of mine this morning, and I've wasted the ENTIRE DAY here. I've been in tears with laughter more times than I can count, and I managed to wake both my children up with my giggles. You guys are hilarious, this blog is fantastic, and you've just gained one more reader! Thanks for what you do!!!
Stephanie
P.S. Loving the obscure geek references, keep them coming!
That last one quite clearly is a flaming poo. CLEARLY. Or, you know, that's what my husband says.
That last turkey-looking thing actually looks like a flaming turd...ouch.
Do chickens have lips? Because that last turkey does!
Cried the turkey cake to the guests, "Gobble, gobble me down if you dare."
oh man, that last one looks like a piece of poop with a fiery mane!
btw, my friend and i once planned to have a 'cake-wreck off' but, alas, it never came to be... someday. someday!!
I was looking at the cakes with my almost-3 year-old son, who with each new picture would go "Cake!" At least until we got to picture 6, where he went "AHH! Hippo!" And then back to Cake!
Personally, I think that the last one looks like Mr. Hankey trying to escape an explosion in the pumpkin patch.
That last one looks like Scooby-Doo trying to outrun a fireball.
Christina
I asked my six year old daughter if the last one looked like a turkey. She said "he he, no it looks like a poop on fire." Now I can't stop laughing! Thanks for that one