Monday, November 15, 2010

Clean Out Your Fridge Day

Monday, November 15, 2010

Today is National Clean Out Your Fridge Day! I know, I'm excited, too... mostly because the only things in my fridge are a box of old butter and a half-eaten tube of cookie dough. Still, for those of you who only wish they were so lucky, here are a few handy guidelines:


You might need to clean out your fridge if:

...you're staring at your leftovers and they start staring back.


...last week's pizza is flakier than your Aunt Milda's scalp.


...your lemons and limes are "spreading their seeds."


...last week's spaghetti and meatballs remind you to get your prostate checked.


...your squeaky-clean crisper gets more squeaky than clean.


...the top shelf items band together to form a new life form.

And the kids want to keep it.


And, lastly, if you see this in your fridge:

You should probably move.

Myra T., Eric B., Hillary G., Laura P., Leah C., Rachel P., Sibel D., & Candi S., call me if you find any pudding cups back there. I'll send you my address.
Evalis said...

if i didn't think it would stink to high heaven i'd want to keep the critter in the second last pic too.

Tricia L said...

Pretty sure that sixth one lives in my crisper or, as I call it, "where good food goes to die".

The last one would make me lose my appetite for cake. Glad I read CW in the morning and not just before bedtime.

Bakingdom said...

Oh my. Top shelf leftovers critter is...

*blink blink*

...well, he's not ugly. But I'd neither want to eat that cake, or keep it for a pet.

mimiheart said...

Roach cake is scary. And wrong. And the most awful thing I have seen on this site.

Not joking.

I might have a slight fear of roaches.

Kay said...

Wow, reminder to self - clean out the fridge. ~shudder~

Jen & John, I received my calendar today - thanks so much!! It's absolutely wonderful, and I think I need to order several for Christmas gifts. I didn't expect to see so many classic wrecks on a 12-month calendar!!

ania said...

"You might need to clean out your fridge if...last week's pizza is flakier than your Aunt Milda's scalp."

Gag me with a spoon. So gross!!

Hah.

ev said...

If we kept the next to the last one, I'd have to name him.

MooseRepellant said...

This is the first post to really horrify me. EW!

MooseRepellant said...

This is the first post that has really horrified me. EW!

SDL said...

Add me to the list of people who think the second-to-last is kinda cute, although not something that would make me want to eat.

The spaghetti*meatballs one though, I think I need to throw up now.. yuck...

And the bug is just a bug. I'd eat it, so long as I didn't get the head part LOL.

w/v: undip - to want to eat these cakes, they all need to be "undip"ped from their disgusting icing covers

The Boob Nazi said...

These are disgusting. bleeech

Peg said...

I ready Kay's post at 9:48 too fast (ok, I was skimming) and I thought it said self cleaning fridge! I want that. Can you see it? The door opening and a pusher just pushes all the shelves clean, right into the garbage! I think I have an invention here.

Flartus said...

Y'know, I think I've had enough of cakes that look like some other food. If you want a pizza--flaky or otherwise--why not just eat a pizza?

Also, I want to know exactly how it is you know what's on the top shelf of my fridge. That's creepy, Jen.

A.J. said...

I don't know why anyone would want to eat any of those cakes. Blurgh.

WV: swolin
I think that cake might be infected, it looks a bit swolin.

Carol said...

Ok, this might be the first time the cakes *actually* made me nauseous!! Why would you make cake that looks like horrid...rancid....inedible food?!

The Mocha Monster said...

What kind of person in their right mind goes to a bakery and orders a salad cake?! Much less a roach cake?!

LeftWingLock said...

Top-Shelf-Critter is kinda cute with that lopsided smile but I can see it turning nasty if it is not supplied with new and tasty top shelf items on a regular basis.

The spaghetti and pizza cakes are just evil.

Wild Runner said...

There's a Nietzsche quote somewhere in that first picture...

Jane said...

The roach cake is horrible. Especially as I had a roach like that crawling on my kitchen counter on Friday. (My kitchen is not dirty, by the way--I live in an old house in the south and the roaches just come inside, even if you spray.) The roach kindly committed suicide in a pot of soapy water in the sink. But I have no desire to bake a cake commemorating the event!

Danielle said...

Ehheheheeewwwww!

Amy said...

*scream!scream!scream!*

GIANT ROACH CAKE!! OMG, dude, run!!

If you need me, I'll be standing on my couch, pointing at the computer screen and screaming about the giant roach cake until my husband comes home and clicks the browser closed.

Stella said...

The first wreck reminds me of Mayor McCheese? Scary, just like the last wreck - any bug cake should not be allowed.

ViiriƤinen said...

Clean Out Your Fridge - just *once* a year?! No wonder there are new life forms on the top shelf.

Mamakitty1978 said...

I wanted to say I HOPE that pizza is actually a cake, but looking at it a second time...ummmm no I really dont hope it is. Either way I would trash it ASAP! Oh and the fridge creature would be secretly spirited away by my kids before I even noticed he had obtained life, lol. Though to be fair they would get tired of it in a week and I would find it at my feet begging to be fed.

Donkaloosa said...

I agree with horrifying --- those are truly awful. The top shelf leftovers cake,though... Yeah, I think I saw that in my refrigerator this morning...

Laura said...

This post is a reminder of what my husband has been hounding me about for the past two weeks.

The roach cake makes me not want to eat cake, and I'm 9 months pregnant and will eat ANYTHING. But I wouldn't put that near my mouth if you paid me.

T said...

I'm changing religions... to anything that won't celebrate National Clean Out Your Fridge Day...

and a cockroach cake is just going a teensy bit too far...ew

madrobins said...

Yikes. The last one made me flinch.

Why would someone do that to perfectly good cake and frosting?

Auntie Meme said...

Point the car toward Epcot, Mildred, we're all throwing up in here.

Seriously, this is the first CW post that has given me chills. Gack!

knine22 said...

no way, there's a Clean Out Fridge Day? what timing...

i spent half of yesterday doing just that. i pulled out the shelves and drawers and everything... [given there was only condiments, tortillas and kraft cheese in there.] then i pulled out the stove and scrubbed it in an out. and the microwave. and the washer and dryer.

it just so happened that i have run out my housemates... so i did some detailing yesterday. the house served as a bachelor pad for three years. imagine the ruin that took place. heh heh.

knine22 said...

oh, and, ...the top shelf items band together to form a new life form.

LOL! brilliant!

Sammie said...

Okay, what is the lemon/lime cake supposed to be? Seriously.

Michelle S said...

I guess I'd better clean out my fridge then. Dang, thanks for telling me! Great post though.

Kara said...

I REALLY, really, really can't believe that some of these cakes are "professional." It just boggles the mind.

walkingtalkingencyclopedia said...

I wish I'd known today was clean our your fridge day. I cleaned mine out yesterday!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb? Don't know - when the lights come on, they all scatter!

Speaking of, why didn't this one scatter? *shudder*

I'd name the top shelf cake Goobacca - Gooey for short. Who's a gooey slime? Whooooo's a good gooey slime? Yes you are! Yes, you're a gooey slime! Good boy!
O.o OK, I'm afraid for myself!

wv spitputs: Spitputs the lotion in the bucket.
or
A little hard work and spitputs a squeaky clean shine on those refrigerator shelves.

Craig said...

Quite a lot of 'firsts' in the comments ("...first post that has really horrified me," etc.) -- welcome to all those who just started viewing CW today or yesterday. ;-)

Now check out the archives. Heh heh heh...

wv: plessn. Plessn...dreams?

Deborah in California said...

Regarding Item 6, 1 question: what WAS it SUPPOSED to be? Perhaps it is an embodied koan - "if a cake looks like nothing on earth, is it still a cake?"

Will be thinking of this all day. Weird, but true.

Thanks for stretching my imagination. ;-D

hugs to you both,
Deborah in California

Anonymous said...

Forget cake... forget food at this point! I used to think my fridge had some unidentifiable stuff. Not anymore.

The creature of the newly formed is quite ... creative.

Is it me, or does that pizza look like it was formed partially with bacon?

I have no idea why ANYone would want that last cake - special order for the MIB? Wow. Ick.

I don't think I'll finish my lunch now, thank you.

~~Di

Jennifer said...

Ok...

EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!

I don't know what was worse - the cakes or the descriptions!!

I wish I had a small portion of your descriptiveness - Aunt Milda's scalp? Really?!? Awesome!

Brandy said...

Aw, that next-to-last guy's pretty cute! And he even has his own chocolate tiara! (Wut?)

Connie Moreno said...

LOL LOL LOL! That last one was tooo funny!

Vivi Bee said...

D: That roach cake...GROSS! DX

But that would be a good prank gift...

Sasha @ Global Table Adventure said...

Seriously? Roach cake? Ugggggggg

Suzanne said...

There is a short story by Kafka in that last cake!

Anonymous said...

Beth S. said...
Like the rest of the bunch, the pizza and meatball cakes both made me gag. Glad I just ate lunch or I'd have lost my appetite. I just can't imagine, either, what you would be celebrating with a cake featuring mice nibbling on corn. Just plain weird.

Kimberly said...

Wow. This is the the first post on Cake Wrecks that actually made me gag.

Yuck.

Rebecca F. said...

Who actually wrote this? The humour is so different...

"is flakier than your Aunt Milda's scalp"??

"your lemons and limes are spreading their seeds"??

Prostate exams?

No subtleties are missing.

Suzanne said...

The lemon/lime spreading their seeds will be forever engraved in my mind.

Donna said...

Kids hell! I want to keep it! Maybe it's more trainable than the kids or the hubs.

Emily said...

thanks... I nearly lost my cookies.... err I mean cake while reading this post - it was the pizza.. .the flakes... I want to go take another shower, scrub my mouth out w/ detergent and clean out my fridge asap.... and yet I also strangely have a craving for Pizza Schmizza.

Lisa said...

Oh. That was nasty. Just nasty.

craftinqueen said...

Just came back from the grocery store....now I'm gonna haul all the groceries out of the frig and give it a good scrub down. Where's my bottle of Lysol?

And the roach cake? Gak- just Gak!

wv: bidiala "I'll be bidiala you nasty food goodbye!"

Anonymous said...

>_>

If even the internet reminds me that I need to clean my fridge... Okay, I'll do it today. Just because your post was awesome and any new life forms there won't pay their share of the rent.

And... cockroach cake? So, so very wrong. Ang google proves there's more than one. Why? Why?

Haunted Mansion Geek said...

Hmmm...we cleaned our fridge yesterday...after it broke...The new one is super neat and tidy, though!

Pauline said...

I like the "Ookpik" on LSD. Is anyone else old enough to remember Ookpik?

Aliza said...

@mocha monster... we've got a health-nut in our office. i could see someone ordering a salad cake for her :) Of course, none of THESE cakes are appetizing enough to entice her to eat "unhealthily".

@Craig... well said.

I'm one of those who thinks Top Shelf is kind of cute, and is utterly mystified as to the appeal of a cockroach cake. And as for the pizza cake, there are so many recipes and instructions out there for delicious AND attractive pizza cakes that there's no excuse for that one. Oh, right, CW wouldn't exist if wreckerators knew shame...

Destinie said...

I'm home sick today and the pics reminded me of what i threw up this morning. On the bright side your commentary cheered me up a bit!

Elizabeth Douglas said...

Well, that last one is literally the stuff of my nightmares. Horrible phobia meets favorite dessert, and I can't unsee it. WHY CAN'T I UNSEE IT?




*curls up in the corner and weeps.

Lisa said...

LOL! I didn't know it was clean-the-fridge day. I try to do it every Monday on general principle (and don't beat my head into the wall if I skip one out of lack of time or pure laziness). I did do it this morning. I didn't find any of those things, thankfully! The worst I found was some month-old cilantro...

Here's something all you wreckies should try. Go read archives under the covers of your bed (iPod or iPhone or similar gadget required) when you are supposed to be sleeping, and try not to laugh and wake your spouse up. I tried it. You know how they talk about "shaking with silent laughter"? It's impossible not to shake! And I never could suppress all the noises, either, though I tried to turn them into coughs... Love this site! Only trouble is, I can't see the kapcha on my iPod...

Anonymous said...

"and the kid want to keep it." omg

Mary said...

The cake with the mice on it is kinda cute.

Weetzie said...

Thank you for reminding me of this Tom Smith song:

http://www.thefump.com/fump.php?id=94

Cloudy said...

Craig, I have been following CW since day one and have seen every post--and this is the first one that I WISHED had a warning--because, cake and descriptions both--they made me gag! The pizza, the prostate checking, the scalp flakes, whatever--and who makes a cake of mice eating corn? What?

Cloudy

Anonymous said...

Hi, I was actually sitting down to eat a meal at 5pm when I said, I think I'll take a look at Cake Wrecks. And sure enough, I had to very carefully eat, checking to make sure that it was safe.- Julie from Louisiana

Anonymous said...

I want a plushy of number six!!! Is that wrong?

Jessica said...

My 3 year old daughter said, of the spaghetti cake. "It looks like someone pooped on that orange cake." Too true.

Boo said...

This reminds me of an old Garfield comic
"The bacon is grazing on the lettuce and he asks if he should clean out the fridge"
:D

Me said...

I HAVE CARAMEL PUDDING CUPS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

So awesome. I too love the top shelf creature.

In other news . . . what *is* that "parmesan" made of? Powdered sugar and food coloring?

And since I'm rambling, I'm also surprised at the strong negative reactions here. Seriously, lots of baby cakes have been way more gross than any of these.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone ever watch the tv show Dinosaurs? This totally reminds me of the 'When good food goes bad' episode.

Anonymous said...

I want to thank Cake Wrecks for putting a smile on my face when I most need it. I always check this site out when I have had a bad day. Keep up the good work. You are saving the world from grumpy frowns and tears!
-Kristin

Erin said...

No joking I had no idea today was clean out your fridge day and I cleaned mine out yesterday!

Anonymous said...

The cockroach-ewww The new life form cake WTF???? DX

Carrie Miller said...

Ok, the last one? What the F*&# is that???

JadzeaDax84 said...

I literally almost threw up when I saw some of these cakes. Probably didn't help that I had just eaten dinner.

ilze said...

I want to thank you for fair warning. When I saw the title "Clean out your fridge day", i knew the worst was yet to come.

Catherine said...

Never make me read this while I'm eating my oatmeal for breakfast! I had to put it down twice I was so grossed out!

Amy said...

Who wants to bet the roach cake is red velvet with custard filling?

Caroline said...

and recyeling day

Anonymous said...

Maybe the roach cake was a celebration for finishing Kafka's short story "The Metamorphosis." Or a gift for the T.A. that taught the Literature 101 class.

Anonymous said...

My 2 1/2 year old son identified the hamburger cake as a monster cake, this is not all that surprising. I was surprised that he realized it was a cake in the first place.

Anonymous said...

raises hand: ohh, ohh, I want a self cleaning fridge, too!!

re: possible pet
I shall name him George and I will hug him and pet him...

-Barbara Anne

AA said...

Apparently, the lemon and lime are trying to make the very first "lime-on"!

Word verification: buggelly! No, I'm not kidding!
"Man, that last cake is just plain buggelly!"