Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Creepy Crawly Cakes

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Can't we just have normal frosting roses, sprinkles, maybe a spermy-looking bunch of balloons? Even a beanbag-body clown would be ok. I mean, I try to avoid even being in the same room with yukky-looking creatures...do I really have to take a bite out of one with a side of Ben and Jerry's?

This is a Naked Mole Rat. Cousin to the rare Old Navy Sweater-Wearing Mole Rat. This cutie is interesting because he lacks the ability to feel pain.

Yeeeah. I kinda wish I had that trait right about now.


Maybe if we hadn't stored this confection in a grimy cabinet and put a ravioli under the sheets, we could have avoided this infestation, hmm?

And speaking of infestations...

Do you think if you made a cake like this out of Twinkies, it'd be twice as likely to survive a nuclear holocaust? Just wondering.

Hey, ever wonder what you'd get if you crossed a naked mole rat with a roach?

Yeah, me neither.

Still, I bet it'd look something like this:




Kathy, Rebecca A., Lisal F., & Jessica D., these cakes aren't bugging you, are they?

UPDATE: A big thanks to Cristy B., creator of the Naked Mole Rat cake, for being such a good sport and submitting her own cake!

- Related Wreckage: I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card
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Miranda said...

SCREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

Hideous! Horrid! Inedible! O vile!

*hides under desk* Dial my therapist and hand me the phone, wouldja, hon?

Wide Awake Wife said...

Eew! That one bed bug is bigger than the pillow! I really don't want that bed bug to bite!

www.mysleepinghusband.com

Vickie said...

Even my 8-year-old son, a self-avowed "bug lover" said, "Ewwwww! Who would eat that?"

Anonymous said...

Oh, Holy.... I had a huge roach in my kitchen this morning, so the bug cakes are making me more squeamish than they normally would... Soooo icky!!!

Anonymous said...

Gluah!!!! I got shivers up my spine just looking at those!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

I'm pretty sure I can feel them wiggling in my mouth as I type this. *Gag*

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Suetois said...

Ugh! I just want to squash all of them.

Anna said...

Ew. Sick.

diopsideanddiamonds said...

I had a dream last night that my house was infested with worms and cockroaches.

There was a brown recluse spider in the shower this morning.

And now these.

I think the universe is trying to tell me something, but I'm not entirely sure what. "Buy stock in insecticide"? "The end of the world is near"? "Stop reading horror novels before bed"?

All good possibilities.

Novice Writer Anonymous said...

Uh...I'm at a total loss for words. Who in their right mind would order a cake like that? It's bad enough we have to share the world with cockroaches, do we really need cakes in their honor?

I think I'll go not eat ever again now.

-NWA

Laura said...

That "naked mole rat" TOTALLY looks like one of the R.O.U.S.'s from "The Princess Bride"!

And what's with the fangs coming out of the nose? That's gotta make eating a little difficult!

Maria said...

except for the ravioli, i'm kinda impressed by the bedbug cake. same with the roach- especially becuase he looks to be fondant free! i think those are a couple more cases of the subject matter being a wreck, but not the cakes per se. on the other hand, i thought the mole rat was the Montauk Monster.

Anonymous said...

Best line of the day: Do you think if you made a cake like this out of Twinkies, it'd be twice as likely to survive a nuclear holocaust? Just wondering.

Love it.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

*Takes one look at the first cake*

.....

.....

.....

I'm not eating that. And the next ones don't get better.

Mary said...

Totally disgusting. I don't think I could eat any of those cakes, especially the roach one!

Evalis said...

Why does the naked mole rat have teeth growing out of its nostrils? O.o

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

The first one! An R.O.U.S.! Must be for a party in the Fireswamp.

Karey said...

thanks for helping me along with the ol' diet! I will never eat again!

Hyacinth B said...

I had to have a mouse removed from my cupboard last night, and another one this morning. (In a trap, husband removes.) So this cake really did not do it for me this morning. WHY!? WOULD ANYONE WANT A CAKE THAT LOOKS LIKE THAT?! And, YES, I am yelling! Oddly enough, the cake decorators did an awesome job recreating, but again I ask you WHY?!

Anonymous said...

I will be happy to go the rest of my life without ever viewing another cake like these.

AlphaGlam03 said...

Why are the naked mole rat's teeth coming out of its nose as opposed to, oh I don't know, it's mouth?

The Lili Effect said...

This post is right up there with the gross podiatrist foot cakes for hurl-factor. REALLY needed a warning label.... "if you've already eaten breakfast or have a weak gag reflex, please skip this post" YUCK-O!

Keylaleigh said...

...Are that mole rat's teeth coming out of its NOSE? That must be painful.

Anonymous said...

I know that a mole rat has little tusk looking teeth, but they don't come right out of the nose...

Alicia said...

Wow! Now I don't even need to eat today!

Nicho said...

Oh my eyes, my eyes! I've often chuckled reading this blog at work, but this is the first time I can remember being genuinely gobsmacked. Crikey.

Persnickety Ticker said...

Oh for the love of all that is cakey!! WHY?!?!

Oh...and a big eww, too.

peaches1111_00 said...

Why does that naked mole rat have teeth coming out of his nose?

Nydia said...

Yikes. And why are the Naked Mole Rat's teeth coming out of its nose?

Lindsey said...

Why God, WHY??? Why would anyone in there right mind want a naked mole-rat cake? That has got to be the grossest creature-as-a-cake I've ever seen. Ewwww.

Elizabeth @ TexasEbeth said...

Now that I have screamed and tried not to barf, WHY would anyone order a cake that looks like a rodent or an insect?? EEWWW!!!

Anonymous said...

Those are all completely REVOLTING!!!

ajnabi said...

Why? Whyyyyyyyy?

On the plus side, this might be the best diet aid ever.

CatBoreal said...

Naked mole rat??? I thought it was an ROUS - Rodent of Unusual Size.

Sheri said...

Disgusting, true... but well made in each case! LOL I just can't see the demand for such things!

The Momma said...

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh, I'm terrified!!

April

Paula said...

yikes! I cried out in horror when that thing jut appeared on my screen! That has GOT to be THE UGLIEST cake I've ever seen.

Terry Lee said...

gross. just totally gross.

are those little hairs on the back of that mole rat?!?! disgusting.

the wreckiness of these "cakes" never cease to amaze me.

Etiquette Bitch said...

oh, gosh, i'm glad I ate like an hour ago. Dis-gusting!

Did anyone notice that Naked Mole Rat had "Happy 9th" inscribed on the cardboard? 9th???? You got that for a 9-year old? I'm gonna guess it was for a really nerdy (in a good way) scientifically-inclined 9 year old.

NYCGirl said...

What is the second one, congratulations on having giant bedbugs?

My verification word is 'reche.' I don't even need to add a sentence, do I? :)

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

Is it bad that my only question is: why are the teeth coming out of the naked mole rat's nose?
I couldn't/wouldn't eat any of them, but I can totally see our zoo making the NMR cake a couple years ago when they unveiled that exhibit in our children's zoo, or the third cake when unveiling the insectarium.

Sarah F. said...

I bet these cakes were made for biologists who study these organisms. I mean, once you've done THAT MANY dissections, what is there left to gross you out? (I'm not speaking from experience... no...)

Alix said...

Nooooooooooooooo!


Word Verification: ballsit (How my Vietnamese nail tech tells me I'm full of BS)

Bobman said...

The first one really gives me a craving for some Quiznos Subs for some reason....

WE LOVE THE SUUUUUUBS!

Our Family said...

Gross and scary! Do mole rats really have teeth coming out of their nostrils?

faradayflux said...

Ewwwww.... just gross. I don't like looking at these things in real life, why would anyone want them in cake form?

Roo said...

WHY?

Tauna said...

I don't think I've ever literally gagged at any of your wrecks before today... Gosh Jen, you rock! (gag!)

Justina Clayburn said...

The roach cake and the image of the Twinkies with that icing oozing out made me want to vomit a little.

Naomi Zikmund-Fisher said...

Many times I've looked at cakes in this blog and laughed. Other times, I've looked and thought "that's disgusting." I have never, however, before today, actually shuddered involuntarily.

The Naked Mole Rat is probably based off a song of the same title that's a Disney favorite, so I can understand why someone thought this might be a good idea. It wasn't. How could you eat that?!?

step0nmi2 said...

EWWWW Gross yuck! Thanks for the nastiest post I've ever woken up to! All I can do is squint my eyes now and go back through the other blogs to change my face! lol

Jacob said...

The naked mole rat is definitely an R.O.U.S. (Rodent of Unusual Size -- see The Princess Bride). I thought so even before reading a word.

:::b r a n d i::: said...

Oh dear Lord. Gross.

Stella said...

In a word, 'EWH'

Taylor said...

@Bobman...
You're right!

"They got a pepper bar!"

Ruthie said...

Ooookkaayyy...I think I'll be skipping lunch today...@@
wv: hianteod. The noise I would make if my aunt tried to give me one of these cakes.

JessX said...

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that last one is supposed to be a cicada. (if you've never seen one of these freaky little guys check it out here: http://georgiafaces.caes.uga.edu/storypage.cfm?storyid=2201 )

why a cicada is now the question....perhaps they love being kept up at night by the noise?

Angie said...

Gah! Urp.

And I haven't even had breakfast yet... I may not, now.

BillDarryl said...

The Naked Mole Rat! Reminds me of the awesome documentary Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control. It's about four people with unusual careers - one of whom is a naked mole rat scientist (the mole rats are naked, not the scientist).

Mind you, it never explains why someone would make a cake of one, but what have you...

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Jess X,

Ding ding ding!!!

It IS a cicada. Or it's supposed to be.

My question is: Does it crunch when you bite into it like it does when you step on it?

Just a thought.

john

Pam Walter said...

Why would someone go to all the time and effort to create something so ugly? http://blog.sweetservices.com/sweetscandyblog/

mudslicker said...

I am the molerus...coo coo ca-choo!

Hanna said...

Naked mole rats are repulsive in a cute sort of way... I remember visiting a zoo who had them, and I stood staring at them for at least fifteen minutes, simultaneously fascinated and repelled. I wouldn't want to eat one as a cake, though, but that's just a general problem I have with all animal-shaped food.

And by the way, the teeth don't come from their noses but from an opening in their upper lip - their upper lip isn't completely split as in other rodents, so they won't get dirt into their mouths while digging their underground tunnels (which the teeth are for). That's kind of cute, right? Right?

Phoenix said...

Eww, eww, eww! Gross, shudder, GAH!

*shivers*

Thanks. So much for my future good night's sleep for the rest of the week. I really can't decide which one is worst. Gotta admit, the Mole Rat is pretty darn realistic. Shame.

Dharmamama said...

Oh, ew. I was just eating breakfast, too! Love the line about the Twinkies!! thanks for that laugh.

Sandee said...

sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite! YIKES!

LaurenH said...

What? WHAT?!??

Usually you WARN us before things like this.

*tear* I feel so betrayed and sick to my stomach :P

OPhelia said...

I lived in a subtropical land for almost five years. After a while you get to a stage, in that climate, where the bugs have to be speaking your language in a British accent before they'll freak you out. Baby roaches are the green ones only two inches long; the big black ones that are six inches and whose little heads swivel visibly around as they look at the world, those are the grownups that you can't kill.

So, in cake, oddly not repulsive to me. I can't say that I'd ask for anything like that, but it doesn't give me the heebyjeebies as it might have before my sojourn away from a more temperate clime.

The naked mole rat unfortunately reminds me too much of the baby cakes, and those do in fact bother me. :(

peewee said...

I literally jumped back a little when the naked mole rat appeared. I just never know what I'm gonna get on this site. I need to remember to put the oatmeal DOWN before I click on this page.

Kristen said...

Are you sure the first one isn't a ROUS?!

Those are grossss!

I had a roach in my livingroom last night ... did you know those things LEAP?!

KatjaMouse said...

EW! ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!!

As for the last one, I'm certain that's a ciquada. Likely "commemorating" one of the years that they come out. Thank god they only rear their ugly little faces every 7 years otherwise I'd freakin move!

Frank Alejano said...

My daughter loves naked mole rats (we have them at the local zoo). But she does not want a cake that looks like them!

denisewalks said...

Eating anything that looks like a bug is simply barftastic. Gross.

Lisa Leggett said...

Oh man... I really didn't think a cake could be worse than the little fetus hand reaching up out of the belly (last week), but this nekked mole rat is beyond gross. i get the shivers just looking at it... especially the back view. Bleeecchh! Thanks Jen.

Anonymous said...

The last one looks like something from Cronenberg's Naked Lunch film.

Jaemi said...

Anyone remember Kim Possible from the Disney Channel? Kim's "sidekick" had a naked mole-rat named, Rufus. Rufus had big teeth, but they came out of his mouth NOT his nose!! He was also quite cute. This guy looks like someone was playing around with a bootleg gene-splicer and got side-tracked.

Lucille Ball Jr. said...

ewwwwww!!!!!!! gross!

PerkinsClan said...

I'm still trying to figure out why the teeth are coming out of his nose.

Donna said...

EWWWWW! I had to scroll really, really fast though this one. You'd think I'd figure the subject matter out from the title but no...had to see those horrid bugs for myself. Did I mention I have a major bug phobia? *Shudder*

Leigh said...

If you think those are bad, you should see my cake of rats eating a severed human arm: http://www.doitmyself.org/2009/04/killer-rats-cake.html

krazykris said...

Why is it people order cakes resembling animals and/or babies, etc...? I will never forgive Steel Magnolias for putting that idea out there into the world...bleeding armadillo cake was bad enough. The only thing I could come up with for a 9yr old's cake idea would be the Kim Possible cartoon on Disney from year's back. Ron Stoppable had a pet naked mole rat. But that thing looks like Stimpy's pal Ren, the asthmatic chihuahua, dontcha think???

Lizzy Leigh said...

On the snopes.com message boards we have a long running gag about naked mole rats. Needless to say, today's cakes went right up on the boards! Sick and awesome at the same time. lol

Security word: Jossive. That's right baby, Joss is boss!

Será said...

I'm so totally grossed out right now.

Leslie said...

@Jaemi - That's what I'm thinking happened here. Some unwitting parent went into a bakery and said, "I want naked mole rat cake. You know like from Kim Possible." And they were EXPECTING the cute Disney version, but the baker, not knowing what a naked mole rat was, Googled and went with the more correct version.

Well mostly more correct...except for the teeth coming out the nose.

Evalis said...

that last one is supposed to be a cicada??!

...reference pic needed to fully appreciate.

And in the mean time some pics are here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada


wv - swatio. ...yes, lets do that.

Karen from the Cape said...

The cockroach cake actually looks pretty good. And the cicada cake isn't too bad, at least it's obvious what it is (if you've seen a cicada up close just last year). The naked mole rat, well, that's really nice airbrushing.

Anonymous said...

YUCK!! There is no way I could eat any of those cakes! ( and I love cake)
Well...i was about to go eat lunch but I may rethink that!

Jennifer

Melanie S said...

I could love an insect cake, being an entomology geek. Just pick a different one.

Little Buttercups said...

Just plain, what would one call it?
DISTURBING!

Anonymous said...

*checks google images*

Well the teeth are a bit misplaced, but in most of the pictures they are bucktoothed in a way that makes it look more like they come out from under the nose rather than being down over the chin. I think is more the angle then where they start that is the problem.

Anonymous said...

Im also in the same boat as Jaemi.. I have a feeling since this is a 9 year olds birthday cake the parents asked the baker to do "that naked mole rat from Kim Possible".... And then..yikes.

PetalsYoga said...

Nightmare city. EWWWWWWW!

April said...

The first cake looks like that animal crawled up on the counter and ate the cake that was supposed to be there.

Those are gross and if anyone ever presented me with something similar, they'd leave wearing it.

Anonymous said...

GAG!

-Julie

Babsiegirl said...

Gee...Nothing says, "Happy Birthday," quite like inducing a room full of children to vomit.

Kelly Anne said...

My mom is a "small mammal interpreter" (her actual title) at the National Zoo, and Naked Mole Rats are kind of her thing. So, thank you Cake Wrecks. Now I know what's going on her birthday cake!

ComfyDenim said...

Holy .....

*Shudder*

Do you suppose somewhere out there is a cake in the shape of a can of Raid??

WV - blitchi - as in I'd be a bit blitchi if someone tried to serve one of those cakes to me.

I agree with the commenter about the Twinkie line being the best one.. You rock.

Galadriel said...

C'mon, now, folks...ROUS's have fur. Granted, that poor critter up there is shaped very similarly to a person in a rat suit, but it's nekkid. No fur -> no ROUS. (Unless someone shaved one. Eew.)

I'd like to reiterate that, even though I often end up craving foods I see a lot of or are mentioned a lot...somehow, I never crave cake. Even on Sundays. In fact, I don't think I'll ever voluntarily make or order a cake again.

Next year is my 10th wedding anniversary. I guess we'll have pie.

Rosie_Kate said...

Note to self: wait until after lunch to read Cake Wrecks. :-P

ShyTenda said...

See that last picture? I saw that and immediately made it on Spore.

http://static.spore.com/static/thumb/500/450/993/500450993723.png

Sam said...

I'm with Miranda. I'm just gonna tuck myself in under my desk. When they're gone, call me. Where's my teddy? And my blanky? And my bottle of Jameson?

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA. But seriously, I'm off of cake now for eternity. *shudders*

deemack said...

Sweet merciful heaven!!!!!!!!

Got me this time!! Gotta wonder what event needed any of these scary scary monsters!!

I suppose the first one could be considered a "rodent of unusual size"

Amy said...

OMG. These literally make my skin crawl! Geesh!
~Amy B.

FIONA said...

I don't dare show the buggy ones to my youngest son, he would insist on one for his birthday cake!

BethStev said...

I've heard of spaghetti noodles coming out of your nose. I've heard of milk coming out of you nose. But never have I heard of TEETH coming out of your nose...

FIONA said...

I don't dare show the buggy ones to my youngest son, he would insist on one for his birthday cake!

Laura said...

these cakes are like car accidents: horrifying, but so difficult to look away.

on a side note, i usually look at cake wrecks over my lunch break. yeah, so, um, not a good idea today!

lisadh said...

Those have to be some of the grossest things I have seen served as food. Just...just...ewww!

WotV said...

I think I just threw up a little...

Sky said...

I was looking at your blog when my three year old walked up and noticed the rodent. His eyes grew large and pointed loudly saying "eew, mommy! Eeeewww!!!!"

Then I scrolled down to the bugs and he began backing up yelling "yucky, mommy! yucky!"

Even my three year old, who would drop me in heart beat if offered cake, was discerning enough to back away.

Sara Otterstätter said...

I like naked mole rats. They are in their own horrible style cute. But I couldn't cut into a cake, that is formed after a naked mole rat. That's ewwww. It is a similar ewww like this to realistic looking baby cakes. You expect really, that it will start to bleed. And when the baker used red filling, man, than I would run out of the room, screaming at the top of my lungs.

But really awful is the bedcake with the bugs. EWWWWWWWWWWW. Ore the cockroaches cake. No thanks, I am now on diet!!

Barbara_in_WA said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Bleck Bleck Bleck. Those are all horrible. Just awful. I don't think I could eat any of them. **shudders**
I saw a "sperm balloons" cake yesterday. And I also saw one of those Hamburger & Fries cakes. One of the fries was stuck in this big bloody looking blob that was suppose to be ketchup. It was gross.

Creatorschilde said...

the terrifying thing to me? Is that this creature actually exists! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX94UtcRu14&feature=related

Lisa said...

OH.MY.BARF.

Natalie said...

Q: What happens when a beaver and an ROUS mate? A: Cake #1.

Anonymous said...

Aaaaiiiiiieeeeeee!!!!!
If someone showed up with that roach, I would leave. There is NO way I could eat a bite of that.
Ugly mole rat, but I could probably eat some.
The nose teeth are very disturbing.
The others are just...wth??

Alex

Anonymous said...

Those cakes are absolutely fantastic. I tried to get a "spore" cake last year (I study fungus), but I didn't get anything nearly that recognizable.

Keeley said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i love you Jen, you are rockin'!! Twinkies and cockroaches, naked mole rats crossed with cockroaches--this is one of the best posts ever.

BTW, my first thought on seeing the "tusks" on the mole rat was that it had French fries stuck up its nose.

Nick said...

Is it weird that I think all of those are adorable? There is nothing more amazing than a bug . . . and since naked mole rats live in "hives" with one "queen" making all the babies, I'll go ahead and count them as bugs. Those cakes need to be iced with chocolate covered ants. Yes, I would totally eat that. :)

Indy said...

Oh. My. God. I wouldn't want to eat them, even if they were the last cakes forever...

Katie said...

I'm a biologist. This fact perhaps explains why my reaction to the naked mole rat cake was "AWESOME!" Naked mole rats are really cool animals. They are one of the only eusocial mammals, which means that they have a social system sort of like bees or ants. They live in colonies where the queen is the only female who gets to mate and the workers divide up the tasks. And yes, as another commenter mentioned, those teeth are not too badly misplaced. Their teeth really do grow through their upper lip so they can knaw things underground without getting a mouthful of dirt. They're not ROUS-like; one could sit easily on your hand, plus the ROUSes had hair. (Real life ROUS equivalent: capybaras. I'd love to see one of those as a cake.) The entire species also has really low genetic diversity, indicating that they are amazingly inbred.

This concludes today's biology lesson.
PS: The cake like a bed with huge bugs is kinda gross, even to me.

Phoebe said...

I just gotta ask...
That naked mole rat cake...
It wasn't made from a red velvet cake mix was it?

Karen

thesonshinesthroughme.blogspot.com

Katie Bug said...

Oh my, those cakes are absolutely disgusting!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice that the teeth of the naked mole rat are coming out of it's nose instead of the mouth?

Shake-N-Bake said...

Why? That is what I want to know . . . Why would anyone want that for a cake? Seriously!

Tanya said...

This is the first time reading Cake Wrecks actually made me naseous.

Do. Not. Want.

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like a cake that reminds you of something you squash & kill.

"Happy Birthday, honey.... when I think of you, I think of a can of Raid!"

megan said...

ha, i actually like the naked mole rat cake. but maybe that's because i was fascinated with them after seeing them several times a week when i interned at a zoo.
as for the teeth- they have lips behind the teeth, so dirt doesn't get into their mouths when they're digging, which explains it a little. although they don't come out of the nose, they're rather prominent and are right under the nose.

E.M. Green said...

I am hereafter erasing my memories of your particularly horrid cake wrecks and replacing them with memories of being first in line at large department stores.

I.E.: This entry is great, Jen. I loved getting to the front of the line 4 times in a row! I'm so thankful because I really did need those cotton tipped swabs for my art project.

(I would only accept the third creation's existence in my memory under two stipulations:
-It was, indeed, made of Twinkies™.
-It came with a cute Johnny 5-esque robot buddy)

Reg said...

Did anyone else notice that the bed bugs had a little "bleeding" from their dark icing onto the bed? Considering that bed bugs feed on blood, this ramps up the ick factor significantly.

I have to admit that the mole rat is kinda cool. I'd eat it. Insects, of any kind, no thanks.

Deane said...

That last one looks like it's supposed to be a Drosophila melanogaster, or the fruit fly well known and loved by geneticists. The red eyes are a dead giveaway.

Rachel said...

ew ew ew ew EW!!!!!!
Who would request those cakes, let alone EAT them?!?! *gags*

Katy said...

Ewww! Those are totally disgusting.

Monica said...

Why are the naked mole rat's teeth up its nose?

Anonymous said...

As a technical note...the naked mole rat has fangs out of its 'nose' because it digs with its fangs and seals its lips behind them so it doesn't get dirt in it's mouth...
and yes they are ugly

susie said...

Chills. These cakes gave me the chills. I'm not sure how I will recover.

~ L. K. said...

What's sad is that I'd choose any of those bug cakes over the naked mole rat. Out of all the creatures out there, with the exception of centipedes, I just cannot like naked mole rats. I like some spiders, like a lot of snakes and lizards, don't mind various insects. (I may add flies to the 'I hate them' pile. I could never like them either.)

Tulip said...

Yaaagh! Really wish I hadn't seen this right before bed! I am so going to have nightmares *hides under her blanket*

Lorraine said...

Oh my gosh, these cakes are the ugliest, most horrible things I've ever seen in pastry. How can anyone think these are delightfully delectable? Why on earth? Oh, I just don't get it.

eeyore19 said...

That giant cockroach cake was pretty Kafkaesque.

And have you seen today's "F Minus"?
http://comics.com/f_minus/2009-09-16/

Stuff On My Blog said...

omg! My 5yo is loving naked mole rat cake! (we watched a doco with them in it and he was fascinated hehehe)

juliamon said...

Personally I think the roach/cicada/whatever is ADORABLE and I wish I could have had some.

The naked mole rat is cool.. but I don't think I could actually eat it.

Anonymous said...

I think some of them look pretty nicely done, but yeah, the concept is still quite worrisome. O_O

Anonymous said...

These are the worst, awfullest cakes you've ever posted. Just looking at them made my skin crawl. Ugh. Especially the bed bug cake.

I'm fighting an bed bug infestation at my house right now. Those suckers are so easy to accidentally bring home from a hotel and so effing hard to get rid of, even with the help of professional exterminators. "Don't let the bedbugs bite" is no longer just a cute phrase to me.

ksuicide said...

Good god. Just when you thought it was safe to tune in, the naked Mole Rat. That is seriously wrong. I would love to hear the story about why that charming little nightmare was created.

frigglesnitz said...

I now have the heebie-jeebies. And the barfie-warfies.

WV- easithog: A device for moving large pigs with ease.

vanfox23 said...

um what I want to know is....WHY? G.R.O.S.S.

brista said...

I have a pretty strong stomach but all of these made me nauseous! Gag me with a spoon! Gross!

Scritzy said...

I have a stomach virus.

It's lingered for days.

I've a feeling it's going to linger for a few more days.

And now I have a stomach virus and a potential for nightmares about naked mole rats and edible cicadas that crunch when you eat them. Pardon me while I run to give Porcelain Patty a hug.

Eeeeeeeeeeeee-yuck!

I loved the Twinkie reference, though. :D

Cellar Door said...

The first few are well done and horribly conceived!

Alice said...

Good lord, those cakes are ugly!
Who commissions these cakes? Seriously, I mean, how to you go into a cake shop and go "I would really like my cake to resemble a giant, hairless rodent."
Gross.
prettybabydoll.blogspot.com

mcb said...

I prefer to think that the last one is a Cockamouse and we just can't see it's long, furry tail from this angle.

Miss Lili said...

The last one looks like a periodic cicada. Gross.

Marene said...

The teeth aren't in the nose, but they aren't in the mouth either.

"Their large, sharp incisors make ideal digging tools. The four front teeth—two on the top and two on the bottom—are actually located outside the mouth. To keep from swallowing unwanted dirt, hairy lips close behind the teeth, as do skin folds at the sides of the mouth."

http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Publications/ZooGoer/2002/3/nakedmolerats.cfm

As for the cicada cake, I've seen it before. When Brood X hit DC in 2004 there were cicada cakes, drinks, chocolate covered actual bugs, and everything else you can imagine.

Chrissy said...

Cakes that look like roaches should be banned.

Mickey said...

Oh, my. That was just hard to look at. Now off to bed for sweet dreams. um, thanks jen. *shiver*

Kaysha said...

Oh how I wish I hadn't been eating a cookie when I looked at this. A lovely chocolate chip cookie with pecans. Oh...GULP...I HOPE they're PECANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristy said...

Yes, I think a roach cake made out of twinkies would be INDESTRUCTABLE!!

Love your comments. You make my day bright! Rock on Jen!

-Kristy

Linda said...

eewwww. the naked mole rat is so gross. There is no excuse for it to exist.

Summer said...

Oh no! Maybe i can't eat the first one. haha =D

Summer
A Writers Den
Brown Mestizo

Twirly McSwirl said...

Hey, Jen!

I get off work at Disney at 430, and the event is in Winter Park at 5... so I will probably be late! But I really want to go. How long is the event? That is, if I'm, say, an hour late, is it still worth going?

Ann

Anonymous said...

Who would make a cockroach cake?!? GROSS.

Anonymous said...

I totally saw a R.O.U.S. when I looked at the first cake!!!

A party in the fire swamp for sure!

Geia said...

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Those have to be the vilest cakes I have ever seen. My stomach is still oh-so-queasy!!

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Hey Anne/ Twiry McSwirl,

This is the way we think it will go:
5:00- Start the show, Jen and I talk a bit.

5:10- We bring out special guest U2

5:30- We finish our talk and open up for questions.

5:45- We finish up questions and serve cake.

6:00- Cup Cake judging contest

6:02- We all chortle merrily at how Twirly McSwirl missed everything good.

6:02-?- Jen signs books.

2am- Jen's signing hand begins to bleed, have to send 12,000 sad folks home.

There you have it. This was actually helpful since we haven't really done a time line yet. So in the words of the infamous Kurt Cobain, "Take your time, hurry up, the choice is yours, don't be late."

john

Althestane said...

thanks to your caption of the roach one, i now want to make a totally legitimate looking cake out of twinkies!

metageek said...

I love the naked mole rat cake. I'd have to avoid thinking about the fact that they eat each other's feces, though.

(It's a food storage technique, like honey. Some of the NMRs eat a lot and get fat; then, when food is scarce, they excrete feces that the others can eat.)

Diana said...

why are the mole rat's teeth coming out of its NOSE? That's one painful deformity! Ouch!

Anonymous said...

Like a lot of other people, I'm wonder why the mole rat's teeth are growing out its nose? Otherwise, HAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm sorry you don't like creepy crawlies. I would like to see a giant wolf spider or cat-head spider cake. That would be awesome. Great for Hallowe'en. :)

Keesler Chaos said...

Well, this is going to sound VERY strange, but..... My youngest is having his 5th birthday very soon, and he asked for a bug cake. When I asked him to be more specific, he said he'd like one that looks like a Madagascar hissing cockroach. Thinking it would be impossible, I said no. Now he's seen this one, and says "See mom, lots of kids have cockroach cakes!"

Great!!!!

Vickie said...

Cakes by Christy . . . I went to your site and just absolutely LOVED your stuff! The teapot and tea cups were incredible! I wish you the best of luck in your business.

However, can we please have an explanation for the naked mole rat? There MUST be a story somewhere!

Thanks! (I didn't want to join Myspace to post a comment on your page, so I'm really hoping you see it here!)

Brittany said...

The first one looks like the fried guinea pig (cuy) I had in Ecuador: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=162691&l=be97192d29&id=295700311

wrecksistant said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel Eloise said...

Okay, so last night I seriously had a dream that the naked mole rat was wiggling his way up a tube from the basement into my house. Terrifying! Those teeth were sharp! I never thought a cake wreck could induce actual nightmares, but well, it did!

Hanna said...

ShyTenda, that is just awesome :). It really resembles the cake!

HazMatt said...

Isn't that last one a cock-a-mouse from How I Met Your Mother?

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of that bleeding armadillo groom's cake in Steel Magnolias!

bookbug said...

You know, I've scratched my head and thought and thought.

I can't think of any possible occasion that would call for a cockroach cake. What the heck? I would pay good money NOT to have a coackroach cake.

My word: logisp. These cakes make about as much sense as that.

Lizzy Leigh said...

Anyone think that the cockroach cake might be a tribute to Wall*E's cockroach?

Goof said...

:O Eeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!
Who the heck thinks to themselves,
"Gee, we really need a hideous animal cake for this occasion." ?

Bree said...

Paint the teeth orange on the first one, and it would look like a naked nutria. Those things are hideous.

I'm guessing the bedbug cake was made for an exterminator...he or she would probably be the only one to appreciate it!

Domie's Mom said...

Um, EEEEEWWWWWWEEEEEE.
So much for lunch.

Anonymous said...

Makes me think of Steel Magnolias...

"I can make everything but snakes, I don't have the counterspace."

"It looks like an autopsy."

"Thanks Ouiser, there's nothin' like a good piece of ass."

Tara said...

Ummm. That naked mole rat has fangs coming out of its nose!!!!! Eeeks!

Lynn said...

OMGosh...now I'll have nightmares tonight !

Team Alix said...

um, I just realized that your naked mole rat has those giant teeth coming out of his NOSE not his mouth... check it out, I am serious!

Adriana said...

I'm 8 months pregnant and these cakes made me almost lose my breakfast. I'm not joking.

Anonymous said...

I am impressed by the hair that is growing on the mole. How did they do that? I think these cakes are AWESOME.. for Halloween!!!!

Tracy said...

[while shaking head] why? why? why? why? why?

Bug Girl said...

Oh... the roach cake...

I think I'm in love. <3

Haidyn said...

Why are the mole rat's teeth coming out of its nose?

Katie said...

I think the roach cake is really cool.

The Quirky Confectioner said...

OMG I laughed so hard I had to run to the little girl's room before I could comment. That Naked Mole Rat looks like an R.O.U.S.

Haiku Joy said...

What strange feature grows
(O my friends and, o, my foes)
From nudie rat's nose?

Anonymous said...

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH! and
SCREEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!
so scary and
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
who would make these cakes and who wouldd pay for them espacially the big roach so realistic (shudder) I really hate roaches, My reaction: screamin standin on a chair, or as far away as i can get!!
by~Jenn

MeliBusla said...

ewww, the spider on the bed looks so real *gasp*
And I wonder too why the mole rat has fangs on its nostrils...

Andrea said...

The funniest part of this for me is that I do know someone who had a twinkie cake given to her for her birthday once. (Her husband works for the company that makes twinkies.) Sadly, she's not a fan of twinkies. But, maybe if I make a few phone calls, he'll have a twinkie cake made to look like a cockroach and we can see just how long it can survive!

hattalahutta said...

Ooh, I love the mole rat cake! Wouldn't eat it, though, it's too cute :)

Gary said...

The naked mole rat cake is actually a pretty good likeness of one.

Maybe naked mole rats are the new trendy animals, the way pigs were a while back.

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