Monday, February 8, 2010

European!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Here's a bizarre message to find in a London display case:


Now, according to Mary there actually was an ATM behind her when she snapped this photo, so I guess it's a kind of edible FAQ page. Still, my question is: Where's the ATM when it's NOT behind me? And why even advertise where the broken toilets are?


Maybe it's some kind of European thing, Mary. You know: European? As in, you're...a...pee'in? Eh? Eh? Bazinga!

- Related Wreckage: Cake Writing 101: The Art of Spacing
ee said...

it's probably missing a comma:
Cash machine behind you often broken,
toilets downstairs

Makes more sense that way I think!

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

Maybe that's why the British are known for having bad teeth. They write their public notices in icing on giant cookies.

Elodie said...

I understand it as "the cash machine is broken, the toilets are downstairs" but why on cake?! XD

very married said...

i think it's just a case of bad punctuation - maybe it should read:

Cash machine behind you often broken. toilets downstairs.

if only those cookie cakes were more clear! i bet the cookie manager gets a lot of questions about where the fixed toilets are. :)

Anonymous said...

I haven't commented in a while, but that's just so bizarrely funny!

Rebekah said...

Maybe the employees just got really tired of answering those same questions over and over. Now all they have to do when asked, "Where's an ATM?" is to point at that cookie cake! Hilarious!

Molly said...

Oh that is beautiful.

I bet the owner of the bakery gets both of those questions 50 times a day, so they just made a cake and could point to it ;)

Jennifer said...

That's just SAD!

Anonymous said...

The toilets aren't broken the atm is, the toilets are just downstairs.

The Boob Nazi said...

Maybe cash machine=dad?

Erin said...

I think it's supposed to be "cash machine behind you often broken" and "Toilets downstairs" :-)

Love your site!

Gary said...

I don't claim to understand this message, but I know that the Brits have some weird thing about toilets. In TV shows, cartoons, etc., if you just mention toilets or show a picture of one or play a "flushing" sound effect, apparently everyboy in Britain collapses in paroxysms of laughter. Go figure.

ACM said...

I suppose this is a case of not enough punctuation: "Cash machine behind you; often-broken toilets downstairs." So, occasionally, if you make your way downstairs, the toilets will be working. But not often.

Anonymous said...

I took it to say that the cash machine was often broken, toilets were downstairs. Still bazaar to put on a cookie. It just seems wrong to put 'toilet' on something edible.

Kevin Phair said...

Sometimes pure sarcasm is hard to read but I see how the pie/cake is hard to understand. When I read it though I thought it was "Cash machine behind you often broken" and "toilets downstairs."

Either way you look at it I hope this isn't becoming the norm. Then again, if all informational signs became cake that would make road trips more enjoyable!

Michelle P said...

Regardless of which is broken, I'm loving the Sheldon reference. I'm sure he would be just as confused though.....

Anonymous said...

that's weird, my wv is epcot.
ok not realy, but it should be.
-anon

Judy said...

Just a little note out to Gary:

Washington's looking might balmy today doncha' think?

Tee! hee! hee! ;-)

I think I'll cancel that winter vacation flight to the states :D

Sara said...

My question is: How LONG has that cookie been there?! Has anyone purchased one and they had to remake it?

karina said...

It was a message for the maintenance guy and the baker was to busy to stand around and wait to give these instructions.

Steph said...

Bazinga! That's so awesome! lol That cookie is confusing. Why write public notices on a cookie?

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Those crazy, cakey Brits!

Sara said...

I think they're tired of answering stupid questions!

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

The way I read this post when Jen wrote it was:

1: What in the world does that cookie say? Okay, got it.

2: Wait, I'm confused. What does she mean "when they aren't behind me?"

3. (Looking back at picture) LOL

See it's funnier when you read it the way it's written.

*sigh*

john

Squirrel said...

Personally, I prefer the ball pit bazinga. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VwrCZa3aKo

It also answers the question of where the ATM is when it's not behind you...why, lying in wait and ready to strike, of course.

Perhaps the noting of the broken toilets is to warn you about their 'pissy' dispositions due to a lack of working facilities.... ;o)

Anonymous said...

I am from the UK ...maybe it is because I live in a city that we have plastic and paper available for sign making!

I have a British sense or humour (oh except toilets- err not funny!)& British teeth, but I dont get the sign-cookie!

And EWWW at the thought of broken toilets and icing/baked goods!

ncsudancelover said...

Love the Big Bang Theory reference. It's one of my favorite shows at the moment.

Anonymous said...

Honestly people! How can you have read this blog for any amount of time and not get Jenn's sense of humour? She's not an idiot! She get's that the message reads weird because of the lack of punctuation and everything. If you find yourself writing a comment telling her how she has misunderstood something, do yourself a favour and delete it. It makes you look stupid. Jenn is smarter than you, that's why she's so funny.

Picks of the Chick said...

I don't care what it should or shouldn't say or where it is or isn't missing a comma. I only want to know WHY IS IT WRITTEN ON A CAKE???

Stephanie said...

Bizarre indeed. I'm stumped as to the "why" of this one...

Fluffy Cow said...

Bizarre.

Anonymous said...

Sounds kinda creepy, almost. Reminds me of the Doctor Who episode "Blink".

Giana said...

My Epcot Sense is tingling....
Thanks to this post I now want all correspondence in giant cookie note form. I wonder if there's an email version....

Anonymous said...

This is just creepy. And why is it written in poo-colored icing?

Also, Jenn, I love the argument over whether you "get it" or not. At least you have loyal fans!

Not as snarky, but clever: http://www.eatthisreview.com/

Caitlin said...

This is a chain of cookie shops in the UK, I used to work there. Trust me, those giant cookies on display have been there for a while.

LaurenH said...

Note to the Epcotters: I think she knows it was supposed to be 'cash machine behind you broken often/ toilet downstairs' :)

On the other hand, I prefer to think of each line separately.
Cash machine - OK, there's a cash machine
Behind you often - That's a little creepy (assuming the decorator was a narrator here, as in I'M behind you often)
Broken toilet - It happens!
Downstairs - Well that explains where you are on the rare occasion you're not behind me!

Bek said...

hmmm, yes, Epcot warning at orange.

Just enjoy the humor - of course it's missing punctuation.

And I'm with Sara - do you think anyone has ever tried to buy it? I mean, it has such mass appeal...

EV: excize - If only wreckerators could excize some common sense and patience, they might not end up on this site.

Anonymous said...

now here's a situation where a little punctuation (or capitalization, even!) would have helped.

wv: addle, to shake. As in, I wanted to addle the person who wrote this faq cookie since it made no sense.

Anonymous said...

This has to be a fake or old and not-for-sale item they put in the case to tell people where the ATM and bathrooms are. I think it's clever.

jj said...

As an apology for patronizing this flawed place of business, we get to have some cake, right?

mollymouse said...

Bahahahahaha! This reminds me of a joke I always tell: If you're a Russian to the bathroom, what are you when you get inside? European! (read out loud for best effect) :]

Rachel said...

This is awesome. Rest assured I will save this and use it in a grammar lesson to teach students the crafty nuances of punctuation.

Mostly, though, I'm impressed by how much information they were able to cram onto a cookie cake!

Donna M. said...

Where I work I have people all the time asking where something is and I say "behind you" (and usually the response is "oh I didn't think to look there"...of course they didn't think to look, that's why they asked me).

The clerks probably got tired of saying "behind you" when people looked for the ATM and saying "downstairs" for the toilets.

Mozart's Girl said...

Well, from a Brit with perfect teeth: I've never seen anything like this! All I can guess is that, like the other comments, the staff just got fed up with answering those questions time after time & thought of a novel way to have a sign up! But it IS bizarre....
Oh, & while we Brits do have a fairly - ahem - earthy sense of humour, I think that you'll find Gary that it's the Germans who are renowned for laughing at anything remotely bottom or lavatory related! x

Taylor said...

You get so many points for referencing The Big Bang Theory. Did you see the newest "Bazingasode" in the ball pit? Freakin' funny, man.

Anyway, you gotta wonder...how long has that cookie been sitting there? Or do they remake an identical one every so often?

Anonymous said...

I never really understood the "Epcot warning at orange" comment until today. Thanks, LaurenH!

I think more stores need to write FAQs on food. Who needs real signs?

- bel

The Shitty Astrologer said...

It's everything a message cake should be: Educational, Entertaining, Eye-catching, and Edible!

Julie said...

When I was in high school I worked at one of those cookie places in the mall.

I swear, everyone thought that we were the freaking customer service desk - only with cookies. I wish that we had come up with the idea to put "Chick-Fil-A around the corner, bathrooms behind you" on a cookie. That would have saved us so much time, LOL

girlyrugby said...

Nothing like curiosity to get the cutomer in the door! Brillant!

Lucky Larson's said...

I think it is smart---then people will stop coming in and asking THEM about those two things---I would have hung a sign--not written it on a cake!

drgns4vr said...

Having worked in a library for a bazillion years (where one presumes a certain amount of reading ability) I learned early on that for every one person who read a sign, there were three others who would stand directly in front of it and ask for the information the sign conveyed.

I especially enjoyed the people who would walk up to the door when we were closed, read (while moving their lips) "Library opens at 9 a.m.", look at their watches "oops, 8:30", and then try the door handle, presumably thinking "oh, 9:00 for everyone but me."

Maybe we should have tried signs on cake.

jo said...

Actually, writing the faq on a cookie is brilliant--because people come into the shop for the cake and cookies, so they head right to the case and start looking at the merchandise. when they see this "note" front and center, they can think to themselves, "oh, ok, good to know." Whereas if there were an actual SIGN on the wall they probably won't see it.

I wouldn't be surprised if there WAS a sign on the wall, and an exasperated baker finally wrote it on the cookie since everyone has their nose in the display case anyway. love how they also add the disclaimer that the ATM (or is it toilets?) is often broken, to counter yet another one (or two) faq. Maybe the intentional lack of punctuation is genius, too--they can point to the cookie whether the ATM OR the toilet is broken, keeping it vague and all-purpose.

and p.s. to Rachel--what a fun idea for using CAKEWRECKS as a means of teaching the importance of proper punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Even if someone has a job as a baker, these are important skillz, and see what havoc they can wreak (and wasted merchandise) when someone screws up their grammar.

Amanda said...

The story goes like this: someone from MI5 had to relay a code message about a secret drop-off point to an agent, without alerting foreign services. So...they phoned through to the local cake shop (where they normally bought the sticky buns for afternoon tea) and asked them to put this seemingly innocent, if inscrutable, message out somewhere on display. The cake shop is just valiantly trying to support such good customers and hasn't a clue what is going on.

A Brit :)

jiminycricket said...

Days like this remind me that most people really, really just want to be helpful. It warms my heart to see it.


I also makes me say to myself, "Bwahahaha! She gotcha again!" :D

Kerri said...

You people don't give Jen and John enough credit. Do you *really* think they didn't know what the cookie cake was trying to say??

*sigh*

John's right. It's funnier the way they described it.

Anonymous said...

I wish I'd thought of putting this on a cake. But here I am, my birthday's just passed, and now I'll have to wait another year! *grumble* If only I'd known...

Karyn said...

Actually, the Mrs. Fields I used to work across from in the mall did this once. The employees were bored and slap happy, and sick of answering questions from passers-by. Of course their punctuation was slightly better than this, lol.

cc said...

Ahahaha @ LaurenH and bel--

Last time, I think the warning said something like, "Our Epcot advisory is at Orange." And I thought to myself, "Is that a place in Florida? Because the advisory had better get back to the office soon; these comments are all out of control!"

Trust a government alert to get misinterpreted by the public yet again...

worst said...

Oh, good lord, people. The point is that the cake COULD be read that way based on the line break. That the line break suggests that erroneous interpretation. This is the basis of the joke.
Please, commenters, stop yourselves the next time you have the helpful impulse to clarify things for Jen et al. You are making me, worstlobst, crazy.

Kelly said...

I loved the comments, but, as squirrel said, the episode with Sheldon in the ball pit is even better! Bazinga indeed!!

Anonymous said...

Amanda--that is genius. I wish someone would write that into movie plot now!

Anonymous said...

When the cash machine isn't behind me, it's probably using the toilets downstairs.

Anonymous said...

I think putting the sign on a cake is a great idea, but it's too bad that now they have to explain what it means to everybody. Seems like one task just leads to another...

;)

Cathy M said...

It's a haiku!

Dunno if that was on purpose, I'll just assume it was.

Aviatrix said...

I think someone should put "Jen is smarter than you. That's why she's so funny," on a cookie.

Michelle said...

Yes, when the cash isn't behind you, it must be downstairs flushing money down the toilet. Perhaps that's why the toilets are broken.

StefRobrts said...

Bwa-ha-ha - Sheldon reference FTW!

PeaceLoveMath said...

I visit your site occasionally and always stay to catch up on all the cakes since the last time I checked. It NEVER ceases to amaze me how many amazingly, awesomely, hilariously bad cakes you have to show us. Priceless!

Anonymous said...

I don't know if John and Jen laugh their heads off at everyone when they post this stuff, or instead sit all day with their heads in their hands, lamenting the slow pace of the human race.

Personally, I still fall into the former category, so thanks for the belly laughs!


WV: ligglist: I'll put this post on my "list of lil giggles." :P

wildmaven said...

I need a cake at my job that says, "no... you will NOT glow in the dark."

Mc said...

I just have to say, that banzinga made my day!

~*~Vickie~*~ said...

Ty for the laugh today Jen and John I really needed it so far my day had been blah even though its my bday so I came here to catch up and it made my day all better Keep up the great work guys you will one day make the whole world smile.

Robin said...

Maybe it is just a really bad haiku?

Mrs. Gibson said...

Bazinga! (I LOVE IT!)

hampshireflyer said...

Is this the first crossover between Cake Wrecks and Passive Aggressive Notes?

purplewowies said...

Perhaps they're saying that since the ATM behind you is broken, you can use the one by the toilets downstairs.

Either that or the ATM is often broken BECAUSE of the toilets downstairs! (What are the toilets doing, using it?)

Either THAT or they're saying to put your money and debit cards in the toilets downstairs: it'll eat it just like the ATM, but you won't have to press so many buttons!

Gary said...

Judy said...
"Just a little note out to Gary:

Washington's looking might balmy today doncha' think?

Tee! hee! hee! ;-)

I think I'll cancel that winter vacation flight to the states :D"

Well, where I am (south Texas), it's 80 degrees F and sunny right now. So come here for you winter vacation, not to Washington.

... And Mozart's Girl said:
"... Oh, & while we Brits do have a fairly - ahem - earthy sense of humour, I think that you'll find Gary that it's the Germans who are renowned for laughing at anything remotely bottom or lavatory related!"

Two different things. Toilets are alughing gas for the British; bare bottoms get the Germans laughing their lederhosen off.

Niqui said...

Oh Bazinga!!! I <3 The Big Bang Theory!!! OH and this cookie cake is great too!

Anna said...

I just watched 6 bazingas thanks to this post. Thank you for the enlightenment.

Bun In The Oven said...

I think it is a hidden message.
"CM" are someone's initials. B.Y.O.B - well, we all know what THAT means!
T stands for to
and down stairs is written as two words because again, they are someones initials. I hope whoever CM is showed up to the party!

janet2buns said...

Maybe the staff is tired of complaining to the management about the often broken toilets. Maybe they think if they make a giant cookie about it, it will shame the management into fixing them properly. "Look, don't complain to ME about the often broken toilets! I've pointed that out to the boss MANY times, and he STILL won't do anything about it! Hey, I've even made it into a cookie!"

Nanny said...

have you been taking John's cold medicine? U-Re-peeing??

Mandy said...

omfg lol soo funny (as always! =]) luv the big bang theory reference- one of my fave shows. the best bazingas ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skQGve3XksU

<3 Mandy (cakewreck's abd TBBT's biggest fan)

Anonymous said...

Gary - I am British and have never witnessed this bizarre phenomena you speak of. I'm almost as confused as I was a little while back reading that giant information cookie.

Dustbunnies said...

LAWL
this was so punny it hurt..O.O

Jemma said...

I love the Big Bang theory reference there :) <3

Anonymous said...

Oh man, as someone who works in retail and gets asked where our ATM is about 10 times each day (even though we don't actually have one and there are signs to that effect) I would kill to have it written down in cookie form. People read cookies.

Gary said...

Why did two different people say this is a haiku?
It's not a haiku!
A haiku has three lines, with a 5-7-5 syllable pattern, or alternating three-line stanzas with 5-7-5 and 7-5-7 syllable patterns. It is about nature and refers to a season of the year.
This cookie, brilliant as it may be, has none of the characteristics of a haiku.

Charlotte said...

I've got a feeling this is in the Trocadero store in London! They've always got weird (and sometimes quite rude!) things written on their example cookies.

Nikki said...

An almost effective message.

wv: siarplis: They had a siarplis of questions about toilets and money machines, so they made a cookie cake about it.

Zerotime said...

Maybe they hired Karl Hyde as their cake decorator?

Anonymous said...

If you're going to link to a Bzainga clip, it should be the one from the ball pit last week :) Hilarious!

Love the site - keep them coming!

Morgan said...

Maybe they thought it was the cheapest way to post information? Because they can sell it when the ATM is fixed. Right... That's it. Why are we trying to make sense of something made by an obviously special wreckerator?

Orilon said...

As somone said earlier, proper puncuation would help. Is the ATM broken, or are the toilets broken. Without it, it could be either way.

What is also puzzling is why that is even on the cookie in the first place.

Nightingale said...

You're even cooler, Jen, now that you're quoting Big Bang Theory. Best.Sitcom.Ever. And geekiest

Rachel said...

I think it's funny that the info changes depending on where the missing punctuation is placed, is it the cash machine that's often broken? or the toilets downstairs?!?!?

This is just too much!!!

Beth said...

there's nothing less appetizing than seeing the word "toilet" on a dessert

Cavort said...

Punctuation really is key.

Nice to see fellow fans of The Big Bang Theory, heheh.

parry hotter said...

your blog design looks so nice!

Rock 'n' Nails! said...

Looks like Japanese engrish to me xD

Cherry Hatrick said...

Possibly the bakery staff are just jack of answering these two questions.

Anonymous said...

That is really funny.
(Incidentally, while the rest of the world considers Great Britain European, I have yet to meet a Brit who thinks Great Britain is European...)

razzle said...

I'm British and I consider myself European. Because of the Geography and everything.

I was terribly disappointed to realise you couldn't read this as a haiku. So much so that I am going to get a haiku cookie as soon as possible.
To wit:

Sugar overlord,
offering chips of wisdom,
and diabetes

Etiquette Bitch said...

Love this british cw. My guess is this was a preemptive display--the bakery got these two questions ad infinitum.

There's a philly cheese steak shop in chicago with the following sign posted prominently:

"No - you can't have change for the meters.
No - we don't have public bathrooms.
No - we don't know what time it is.
No - we don't know when the next bus is.
No - you can't wait in here for the bus."

etc.
So my guess is the bakery employees were pestered a ton. Points to them for creativity!

Anonymous said...

I thought maybe it went like this:

New cookie decorator (NCD) is coming in for his first day, but the manager has to leave the stand before NCD arrives. Manager writes a note for NCD with useful information (location and working status of ATM, location of toilets, gee, what else could a new employee need to know?). Only paper to be found is the order sheets, so manager writes on one of those.

NCD arrives, sees a new order sheet and fills the "order" hoping to make a good first impression. ("People want the craziest things on their giant cookies these days," thinks NCD.)

Later they all have a good laugh and store the cookie in the display case for posterity.

Anonymous said...

@razzle: well, obviously I hadn't met you yet. :) Great Haiku, by the way.

Sylph said...

Am I the only one picturing this scenario?

Bakery employee: We can write anything you want on the cookie.
Customer: ANYthing?
Employee:

tangentsntidbits said...

I love the Bazinga at the end!! :) Love Sheldon!!!

Sexy Sadie said...

What's broken, the cash machine or the toilets?

ravenskye8 said...

The decorating is a Mondegreen... often misheard lyrics to a song... I remember reading this in a book of them... just can't remember for the life of me what song it's supposed to be...

brandy said...

I love how the first several comments are "correcting" your interpretation. I can't believe people read this blog who can't identify a joke when it's sitting right in front of them. :)

phantomcranefly said...

Sounds kinda creepy, almost. Reminds me of the Doctor Who episode "Blink".

I didn't see that before you mentioned it, but now I'm creeped out too.

"The cash machine is always behind you when you look over your shoulder, but when you look away, it runs off trying to steal the TARDIS. No matter how fast you turn around, it'll always be faster than you getting back..."

Nay said...

I wonder if that actually stops people making comments about the ATM or asking where the toilets are. I doubt it.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I think this one would be the "Bakery FAQs" combined with POed Decorator syndrome.

My first job was in a craft store that was moving (hence, it being my first job. Requirements for employment were: Breathe+Pulse) We had three signs. One on the windows leading up to the door. One on the door. One in the middle of the through-way the customers had to walk to get to the craft stuff. We used everything we possibly could to make these signs eye-catching. Blue paper, neon orange letters. I think one person put glitter on the sign. All three were waist high. Written upon these signs were the fact that we were moving, when we were moving, where we were moving to and a general idea of how to get there.

Customers would walk past the first sign, open the door (thus passing the second sign) stop RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE THIRD SIGN and stare at all the empty shelves, and say "What's going on?"

I said "We're moving."

"What? When?"

I read this off the sign behind the customer.

"Where are you going to?"

I read this off the sign. For good measure I read the general directions because I don't want to answer that question again, either.

"You know, you guys should really have a sign up." The customer says.

I point at the sign. Customer gets that perplexed look on their face and goes off in search of faux flowers without saying another word to me.

Anonymous said...

actually my thought was that the ATM was often broken. just a thought though.
~Hannah

-M- said...

Maybe it's a referebce to the night-time-musings of the Sleep Talking Man!

Teh Notebook Ghurl said...

I think it says "Cash machine behind you often broken; toilets downstairs."

DaughterJudy said...

I think the cookie is missing a WORD. It should say, "Cash Machine behind you HAS often broken toilets downstairs." Must be like a slot machine. Maybe it delivers your ten pounds in coins? You never know how much money will fall out and through the floor. I want to play! Hit the jackpot, then buy lots of cookies!

Anonymous said...

Dear everyone who has pointed out that the wreckerator forgot a comma: DUH. And our lovely cakewrecks editor KNOWS that. She's funny, see? Not stupid. Geepers.

VeggieT said...

It's like "a word journey," and in engrish too...

acheter kamagra said...

At first glance, not much, but I think very good.

acheter levitra said...

Here you can find such culinary masterpieces, I'm just amazed.

best ed solution said...

Looks very delicious, already salivating flow. This masterpiece of culinary art.

Mat Board said...

How a little grammar can go a long way to confusing the world - loving it but why not just use a blackboard, why a cake...

Mat Board

Anonymous said...

"People who don't get sarcasm are really smart."
-bumper sticker

Imma go out on a limb here and say... I think she probably knows where the comma belongs. yep, branch didn't break.

;)

Anonymous said...

European, he's a poopin', and I'm a laughin'.

Haiku Joy said...

Autocash blinks twelve
while autocookie works.
In space, use pencil.