When choosing sweets for your Sweet this week, think twice before going with one of these.
(Although s/he seems a bit unsure:"Huge.. Me..."?)
I've heard of taking a flying leap before, but this is ridiculous.
I've heard of taking a flying leap before, but this is ridiculous.Stores aren't really helping with their Valentines' displays, either:
Something about this sign just rubs me the wrong way.
Something about this sign just rubs me the wrong way.
I wish I could say "breast" is a Freudian slip here, but it isn't. (I'll spare you *that* picture, though. Heh.) Still, the way this is phrased makes me wonder why some guy named Valentine is demanding we women yell instructions at one of our wachungas. ("You there! Lefty! Stop slouching and face front!")
And finally, the sure-fire mood killer:
"Darlin', let's make a really ugly baby together. Or maybe just eat this one."
Grant H., Anthony S., Meredith S., Jennifer S., & Jen F., that baby cake would be a hilarious Valentine for an ex. Not that I'm encouraging that kind of thing, of course. ;)
- Related Wreckage: Heart Expressions
- Related Wreckage: Heart Expressions
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83 comments | Post a Comment
$6.99? I've never seen massage cookies so cheap!
I'll confess that I have no idea what the 'breast' sign was *supposed* to say.
The ugly baby looks remarkably similar to Strong Sad from Homestar Runner.
wv: tientle - the cross between a necktie and a lentil.
Is that last one a baby, or happy Buddha?
Flying poo bugs? Pooping as they fly? What fresh hell is this? Mosquitoes and roaches and flies, oh my! but I give up with the flying poo. Interesting, too, that it is cake #2.
Ummmm...the wings on the pooperflies...are those PLASTIC?
Some of these wreckerators need to go see a shrink and deal with their poop fetish. Cake icing should not make one wanna hurl.
I think I'll go cleanse my mind by looking at one of my food "porn" blogs.
LOL at ordering one's breasts. Mine are conscientious objectors.
How did Zippy get associated with St. Valentine?
Massage cookies? I like :) Poop butterfly? Not so much lol
Sorry, I'm not going to eat a cake (or CupCake Cake?) with insect droppings all over it, even if someone did try to camouflage it with multicolored sprinkles.
Massage cookies must be what you use if you're tired of the usual oils.
... What was "Order your breast now" SUPPOSED to mean??
As for that baby at the end, all I can think of is that it was commissioned as an ad for birth control.
Sadly, that butterfly cake would have been okay had they only used a different color of icing...
OMG. It is a CCC baby. Truly frightening!
Baby? It looks like a clown in a diaper. I need a massage, Cookie.
By the time I reached the final ccc, "Huge...Me..." was looking REAL GOOD.
That last cake looks more like he could be a dude from that old Mike Tyson wrestling game from Nintendo.
LOL - that "Huge Me" cake reminds me of one of the first Cake Wrecks I've ever seen - the "Huge Me" cake from last Valentine's Day!
Flying leap? Looks more like a flying HEAP!
BOOYAH!! Great puns as always!!
How about "Parent Alert" instead of "Mom Alert"?
Dad might need to do some wreck explaining too!
My best guess is that they were talking about a chicken or turkey breast.
The last cake is Cupid after he let himself go. Maybe he decided to take up sumo.
When I realised the baby was a CCC...it just made it me realise how truly despicable they truly are!
Yes, I'll take one of those 12" massage cookies. wonder what exactly they are???
Love is all around me... Love for your wit astounds me!
Just think... on Monday these cakes will be half off.
Oh wait, perhaps they already are.
NOTE TO DECORATORS: When you are about to use chocolate frosting, ask yourself, "Is this going to wind up looking like a turd?"
I really think we could've saved ourselves from a LOT of these wrecks if that was part of every decorators checklist. (Of course then there wouldn't be as much to laugh at ;))
Thanks for the parental warning! My kids love Cake Wrecks! :)
WV: probili: these cakes probili won't sell very well.
I'm thinking the 12" massage cookie is probably exaggerating.
"Let's make a really ugly baby together, or we could just eat this one." Classic.
Your awesome Jen.
I love this website.
I could use a 12" massage, eh, cookie....
btw, love the label on the ugly cherub baby. "buttercream icing without picks or rings"--yet I see heart picks and safety pins! at least the cherub isn't wearing any piercings. but the lipstick and RED TOENAIL POLISH freaks me out. that and the angry, licorice-like decoration on his head. ears, hair, face? it's all the same.and yet he has delicate pink frills at his collar and cuffs, and a pink wittle bellybutton!
should we call him Gangster Baby? because that is what he looks like
wv: slysi: These decorators thought they were being sly, si?
Who would order a baby cake for Valentines Day? There is nothing LESS romantic than a misshapen ccc with a poopy diaper.
Well, except for poopy butterflies.
I didn't get the massage, or the message. but what a bargain!
the poo butterflies are leaving a trail...ick. nice cheater wings with the hearts, too.
Jen, your interpretation of the breast sign was hysterical. I was seeing poultry case issues, then concubine situations, but you took it to a whole new LITERAL level! LOL
momcat: "What fresh hell is this?"
ROFL that's a great line!
Gary, those massage cookies sound messy! ouch--crumbs in the bed.
I wonder if that sumo baby is supposed to HOLD the Huge Me heart?
I swear these cakes take every single spark of romance out of Valentines! YIKES .... ware du day fine dees wreckerators?
Gotta love the "huge me" pun. Though now, all I can think is that last year's "huge me" was so much better...
...clearly, I need help. ;)
Also, LOL @ Miranda. "Pooperflies" made me laugh almost as hard as the wreck itself made me wince.
That bottom one looks like a lady sumo squatting to give birth.
that's a baby???????? oh. my. god.
odd. my comment from earlier in the morning didn't show up. was i censored/deleted?
i thought i was behaving today. :-)
almost makes me glad i don't have a valentine to give me one of these cakes! almost...
The last one is definitely supposed to be be Cupid. See the heart cookie "wings" on the shoulders? Why Cupid has a candy-apple red pedicure, however, is beyond me.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - Valentines Day and Halloween are interchangeable holidays - that last cake in the deck is proof!
That last cake is just hideous!
ok the poo bugs are pretty amusing... that baby however? is horrifying!
wv: rhaeupso. as in did the creator of the baby cake get fired? rhaeupso!
AH MAH GAH! Another "Huge Me"!!! That was my favorite wreck of all time!
I even had Jen write it in my book when y'all were on tour. Amazing.
that last cw is a *baby*??? barf. and, to add to the wreckage, i'm pretty sure it's a CCC (patooey).
mood killer indeed.
Nothing says "I love you" like an angry Benjamin Button in a diaper.
I am going to have nightmares about that last one ::shudders::
Hmm. Heard of Hot Stone Massage. Maybe Cookie Massage is another new New Age type of massage.
Do you get to choose cup size for the Breasts? I could see that as a new type of treat at Hooters or an "exotic dance bar."
that creepy baby cakes looks suspiciously like a dreaded CCC!!!
That last cake made me think in the Austin Power's nasty fat Scottish guy voice "Hey you, get in ma belly!"
Oh, as far as the poo butterflies, I thought the lines were like the sperm being shot at the lady butterfly, she's trying to catch it, you know, how some fish do.
I think it's supposed to be cupid
Wow, a baby that looks like an anaemic Sontaran. How very romantic.
I think I ruined Valentine's Day for my husband by pointing out that the heart is really just an upside down butt. He can't eat chocolates out of a heart now because he turns it upside down. I bet some of these cakes would make the holiday even worse for us!
I know these bakers know that using brown for bug and animal bodies looks like poop. They have to do it on purpose. All the color options they have available, yet they always go for brown. Don't they at least want SOME people to buy their handiwork?
LOL! I have tried shouting at my er, wachungas, but the slackers just keep, um, slacking. Damn you, gravity!
Of course it is a CCC - says so right on the label. Of course, the label also says "no picks" and clearly there are numerous picks, so its veracity is definitely called into question. Whatever - this is truly one of the most awesomely hideous CCC wrecks ever.
"Pooperflies" - Ha! good one!
wv: hipplab. One of the many things the Cupid baby CCC wreck suffers from.
Nothing says I Love You like poo flies an the monster from Goonies...that shoul have come with some Baby Ruth.
Is it just me or are things in the World of Cake Decorating going downhill FAST?
I mean, they don't even PRETEND to make sense/attract customers any more.
Ah, the rare and endangered Lithuanian Valentine's Poo-Fly... Immortalized in cake at last... O_o
The flying poo *might* be intentional, if a customer asked for a "Horton Hears A Who" cake, and the decorator has a sense of humor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhw5SLYYdY&feature=related
(it's actually so much better in french: des "cacas-papillons"!)
OH YEAH! Nothing says romance like butterfly poo and Buddha cakes, I am SO hot right now;)
hee hee those are hilarious!
Those cakes are HILARIOUS! And to think, they didn't even make them on purpose!
Lindsey Petersen
http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com
Speaking of people named "Valentine"..that's the name of my mothers boss & his daughter (:
Am I the only one who thought "evil pink sumo wrestler" at the last wreck? XD
Are picks also known as flotsam. Because if so, contrary to the label, SontarBaby has several.
If you look at the large view of the "Huge Me", it actually was spelled correctly, then the "e" added. Did the CW debate how to spell "hug" or was it deliberate? Ah, mystery.
I thought the baby cake was supposed to be a fat Italian chef... and could not find the relevance to valentines. Baby's not much more relevant mind you!
Why did this post need a parental warning? For the word "breast?" Give me a break!
Baby? At first, I thought that was Jabba the Cupid.
Is it too late to order breast for Valentine's Day? I'd like Cs, please.
Love the blog.
Those butterflies really could not look any more like poop. They're even leaving trails of poop as they're flying along! It would be impossible for the wreckarator NOT to notice that when they were finished!
My 4 year old daughter came in the room just in time to see the last cake. She started laughing at the "monkey" cake.
Hey, I love your blog and I make sure to check it every night.. Just one thing, the 'valentain' cookie cake is not an error. This is the way valentine is written in french. So probably this cake was made for a french lover?
Um, are those Mr. Hanky the Valentine's Butterflies I see...
Massage cookies would also exfoliate as they massage! A two-fer, body scrub and massage (says the massage therapist).
As far as the Mr Hanky Valentine's Day Butterfly Poo, that's just gross.
To Anonymous, "Valentine" in french is "St-Valentin", without an "a", so it's not a french version, it is definitely a wreck ;)
the 'baby' looks like sloth from the goonies! except sloth is cute.
your site rescues a painfully boring workday
SHELLY said...
Hmm, that pooping butterfly cake looks like it has plastic wings.
...
Cheater!
OMG. A "breast" cake. I wonder if that was an accident or not.....?
that horrible, horrible baby cake is A CUPCAKE CAKE! of course. what an epic fail.
Re: the "breast" order - must be a "pullet surprise."
Sorry...could not help myself.