Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Heart Expressions

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

When it comes to matters of love, expressing ourselves can sometimes be difficult. How do you tell that special someone how you really feel? What words will convey the depth of your affection?

And how the heck do you spell "Valentine's Day", anyway?

Well, not like that.

Or that...

Well, screw it. Maybe we should just stick to the easy stuff. You know, like "I love you".


[sound of head hitting desk repeatedly]


Ok, fine. How about something a little different, like "Sweet Nothings"? Eh?

Hardy har har, Mr. Smarty-Pants decorator. Now write the rest of it.


You long-time readers already know of my penchant for puns, so obviously my tolerance of the whole "Bee Mine" and "I Love Ewe" thing is pretty high:


However, someone needs to tell these decorators that if you're going to engage in this kind of punnery, you might want to include the bee:


'Cuz otherwise you just look a bit like an idiot.

Still, not all mistakes go poorly. This one actually resulted in an unintentional compliment when Stephen's girlfriend bought it for him:

Heheheh. Obviously it would be far less flattering for a girl, though, so you guys be careful when ordering at the bakery this week.


Jennifer T., Christina H., Olivia, Hallie S., Alice T., Lauren P., Nicole B., & Stephen H.: I'll admit it: I wuv you all.
Baking and Mistaking said...

Oh man.
I thought I was sad to be alone on Valentine's Day.
Now I'm just glad I don't have to eat any of those!

Bee mine, Jen?

Anonymous said...

That bee one is actually pretty cute.

Anonymous said...

ValenTENIS- rhymes with pen... er venus. That's probably as romantic as my husband gets!

Monique D.

Pam said...

I laughed out loud several times on this post. "Huge me"--priceless! Thanks for the good laughs.

Kate said...

"Huge Me" hahahahaha. That's great.

Jennifer said...

I think that first one says "Valentinis" - Valentines Martinis? Count me in!

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

LOLOLOL @ huge me. Nobody likes a braggart, dude.

Cyberrblue (Colleen) said...

Well, at least the bee is cute. The rest of them are just garbage...

~Colleen (cyberrblue.wordpress.com)

Danielle said...

Those is HILARIOUS! My personal favorite is the last one--love the commentary, too. Someone please, Huge Me!

Leslie said...

Boy that last cake could sure be an ego boost for men everywhere. :)
For the first one Valitenis sounds a bit like a sport...maybe they got it confused with tennis because there's loves in both? (nyuk nyuk)

Audreee said...

No woman in her right mind would eat as much of a crumb from a cake labeled "huge me".

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Really? They couldn't spell HUG? Goodness! Turns out to still be a pretty funny cake.

Anonymous said...

The third cake makes me feel itchy, for some reason.

drgns4vr said...

Spelling aside, the roses and lettering on #2 were certainly red!
I love Bee mine--with the bee, but it didn't quite do anything for me with pink and blue stripes.
I know, I know, I'm a old grouch cause nobody will send me a cake on "Valentimes" day.

Megan said...

Valentenis--sounds like a really nasty disease.

The Office Scribe said...

That's why I am sticking to making Friday the 13th cupcakes this year.

Juds2323 said...

That heart with the sweet was just being cute. Get it... sweet on a heart cake = sweetheart! LOL Still lame. Sad sad valentines day cakes.

our3qtgirlz said...

Too Funny!

I think the "E" on HUGE was an after thought--it is spaced a bit more than the other letters and also it looks like it was centered well before the "E" was added.

Maybe the baker was correct and someone came along and said "You forgot the silent 'E' on Hug" HA, HA!

Kelly said...

I must say since we always get such a great bunch of errors, it takes a lot more to make me laugh.

but...

HUGE ME has made my morning!


Thank you!
Kelli
www.yourbestwedding.blogspot.com

Sue said...

The incapability of cake wreckerators never ceases to amaze me! This was a LOL post all the way!

Kelly said...

Hilarious! The first one is almost a combination of "Valentines" and "Veterans". Maybe a new holiday we don't know about?? :)

Toriisen said...

Is it just me or does #3 kinda look like a "J" instead of in "I".
" J love u? "

Doublebanker said...

Just need to send all of the mistakes off to the Biggest Loser camp, they'll finish em off and still lose 5 pounds!

Daily funny gif posts

Love this blog!

Buffy said...

I really needed the laughs this morning!! Thanks!!

At first I actually thought that first one said "Happy Veteran's Day".

WV: keses--Hugs & keses everyone!!

DangGina said...

One more reason to hate this holiday. No, wait...these cakes actually make me appreciate Valintine's/Valentenis Day a little better.

The "J Love V" CCC is quite fugly and almost burns the retina. (Although, maybe my eyes spontaneously catching fire might not hurt so much...)

From Single to Married said...

Love the "Huge Me" cake and I agree - would go very, very badly if given to a girl.

Beppy said...

On the "G Heart V" cake--what if Greg loves Vanessa? Or Gale loves Victor? Heck, what if Greg loves Victor?

Liz said...

There is nothing better than misspelled Wrecks!! These are some of the BEST!

Amy said...

Love the bee, but Valentenis? Won't go there.

Huge Hugs would work.;-)

~Amy B

Kamity said...

The more I read this blog, the less I want to risk having a professional cake made. You brighten my life.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Attack of the extra E's!!!!!

Megan said...

Huge Me... for the girlfriend named ALICE (who is now WONDERing where in the LAND you got that from). :)

TA said...

The "Bee Mine" cake with the pink border does have bees on it.

Larval bees: http://tinyurl.com/bnhwq7

...pink, and white, and orange larval bees.

...on sticks.

Okay, I really tried to give this cake the benefit of a doubt, but it's just not working.

Dani said...

Now there's an idea for wht to give my husband.

TooTiredToRide said...

aaww i love that little Bee one! Too cute

heartafire said...

Oh my goodness....
HUGE ME....too funny.
Toriisen---I thought the same thing....maybe it was supposed to be shorthand for " Jen loves Ulysses"....

[but then we got that whole missing "s" problem to worry about.....]

Nope, it's a wreck, all right....

AJ said...

LOL. My thoughts exactly, Megan.

Anonymous said...

If you read that first cake as "Valen-tennis" visually inserting an extra "n" then the whole tennis/love thing makes sense. I didn't even consider the word that rhymes with Venus. If I'm lucky I'll just get a dozen roses instead of a cake for Valentine's. Although the roses (real ones) aren't nearly as funny...Huge Me....my husband would get that one for himself.....and I'd be horking cake out of my nose.

Sharon said...

lmao at Huge Me with the suggestive looking G.

Sophia Nightengale said...

The last one's alright for me.
(c by the age of thirteen)
I like it.

Debbi said...

Nothing says Valentenis Day better than purple stripes and baby blue lettering!

Liz said...

"Happy Valetenis Day! Hopefully by getting you this cake, I'll get to use my peni...."

Scritzy said...

The I (or G) Love V cake reminded me of that old TV show about aliens called "V" ... so maybe it's a cake for an alien.

Or maybe it's just ugly. ;)

Huge Me. Gotta be the best Freudian slip ever.

Kris said...

The second to last cake is my absolute favorite. Even with the extra e on the end. Maybe it's just because it's in my favorite color, or because I'm just hungry for something sweet, but I do like it anyway.

winetaster said...

Hilarious and sadly true. My last name is Valentine, and my credit report has at least 6 different incorrect spellings. I dont understand why its such a hard word for some people.

Grant Miller said...

I like the one that reads "Sweet." Next to it was another cake that read "Delicious" and another that read "Chocolate."

I appreciate descriptive cakes so nobody is surprised by what they're eating.

Anonymous said...

Jen, you make me laugh everyday! Thank you!

Bee mine...lol.

StuffCooksWant said...

Wow, I guess I didn't realize how many boneheads there actually are in the world. Thanks for reminding me.
My favorite..."Huge Me"....too funny!

Denise said...

Huge Me made me cackle out loud.

A single guy could just buy a dozen or so of those cookies and hand them out at a bar. One of them is bound to garner success.

Beckster said...

LOVE THE LAST ONE...
CLASSIC!
valetenis... maybe a little subliminal message there?

Now, I have a friend, Belinda, to whom we lovingly refer as "Bee" so she would LOVE the "Bee Mine"

Thanks for yet another great blog!

Oh and Happy "VD"

Mamalaina said...

Well, at least we know where Wreckerator #1's heart is at! It's all about the Valen-tenis to HIM! LOL...I'm totally wishing my hubby a happy Valentenis day...

mizmary61 said...

If the striped one was yellow and black and white it would be cute!

Kimmy said...

Valetinis? Hmmm, I'm thinking new drink, though I am not sure it could constitute having its own day!

Anonymous said...

These are great BUT none as bad as the day my aunt sent my two cousins to school with a heart-shaped cake that said "Happy V-D!" because she didn't have enough room to write it out.

Chris said...

I was the buyer of Cake #2 (Happy Velintines day) - this is what happens late in the day when the bakery people go home for the day and you ask the deli-person to write Happy Valentines Day on a cake.

Last year when it happened, I didn't even know a Cake Wrecks Blog existed and shared it with the world on my on my own blog.

It still tasted good.

Ted S. (Just a Cineast) said...

I figured the "I love U" cake was designed by Prince.

Either that, or somebody loves former UN Secretary-General U Thant.

OKBridetoBe said...

Is it just me, or does the one that says "Sweet" on the heart appear to be sweet potato colored?

Anonymous said...

i got the Sweet heart thing too, even though it would be better if sweet was in the center and the cake didnt look like blood... but someone already mentioned this so i'm just wasting space here... la la lalal alalala

Navyfire said...

Me! Huge me!

Hey there, long time reader, first time poster. Keep up the great work...you've got me looking for wrecks in every bakery that we go to!

H. C. said...

I had to stop and think of a sec before realizing why a cake for a guy with "Huge Me" would be a compliment.... well DUH!

Melanbunny said...

Is that pink "Bee Mine" cake decorated with styrofoam packing peanuts? I'll stick with buttercream icing, thanks!

Miranda said...

*cries* We're talking first grade spelling words here! Are they hiring people who failed a literacy program?

Chaz Larson said...

The "Huge Me" with the E hanging off the right looks like someone originally had it correct, but was then told to "fix" it by adding the E. hilarious.

"the 'HUG ME' cake is ready, boss."
"Oops, didn't you forget something?"
"Huh?"
"The E?"
"But, there's no 'E' in.."
"whatever, fix it!"
"..."

sour said...

HA!! huge me. good one!

thezeninyou said...

Huge me! Really? LOL...

kara said...

Aww, I love V, too.

Kristin said...

ok that last one HAS to become a shirt. HUGE ME?? freakin priceless.

sendingtheclowns said...

WhateverwhateverwhatEVER!
That blood-red, gloppy gunk on the 2nd cake just--
I don't--
I can't--
Oh, forget it and just kill me, already.
How could anyone actually consider presenting that abomination to a (supposed) loved one???
It looks as if the writing was scrawled on by a person who was struggling to "get the job done" right after he or she had just been stabbed (with a cake knife) in the gut by a crazed cake-hater.
Yuh--the writing is THAT bad.

Char said...

The huge me would be great as a breakup gift!

becca said...

I can't go a day without checking up on the latest wrecks! I need my laugh fix. ;)
Thank you for the fun commentary!
And the Bee cake was adorable, other than that, I'll pass... maybe I'd even pass out...

Cathy said...

I love your daily cake wrecks. It always brightens my day. That's why I've nominated you for the the Lemonade award. Come by my blog to claim your award!

woolywoman said...

what are those tentacles on the second cake? flesh eating roses?

foxxxyboxxxy said...

oh
my
f*cking
god

ahahahhaha

Dinner/Dishes/Drinking said...

After being completely obsessed with looking at perfect cake pictures (2 birthdays and a wedding coming up to bake for) and 50 Valentinis (hehe) cookies for my 5yr olds Friday Party, it's such a relief to know my cakes aren't half bad after all hehe

Justyn said...

" Huge Me" has got to be the funniest. Thanks for the laugh.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

LOL at HUGE ME. Thanks, I needed a giggle.

Holly-Bee said...

Valentenis sounds dirty!

*blush!*

Anonymous said...

The first one reminds me of the old joke about why you should never date a tennis player: because LOVE means NOTHING to them! ... Okay, okay, I'll stop.

Word verification; aling. Yes, these are some decidedly ailing cakes.

Chris said...

Sendingintheclowns - to answer your question about Cake #2. My 6 year old boy (at the time) picked out that cake - you know, the more frosting, the better. So it wasn't actually "presented" to give to anyone as a gift. And it was only $4.99 (single layer cake) - just purchased for us to take home and eat. I commented earlier regarding the "cake decorator".

chris at yardsalequeen.blogspot.com

sendingtheclowns said...

Chris said...
Sendingintheclowns - to answer your question about Cake #2. My 6 year old boy (at the time) picked out that cake - you know, the more frosting, the better. So it wasn't actually "presented" to give to anyone as a gift. And it was only $4.99 (single layer cake) - just purchased for us to take home and eat. I commented earlier regarding the "cake decorator".
******************************
Thanks for the clarification; I feel not much better. ;)
I still think it is an abomination, whether it was presented or not. Frankly, as a simple display item it's enough to scare away anything BUT a child.
Having had at-one-time-young children of my own, I do know that most of their taste is in their mouths!
BTW, it's "sendingtheclowns," not "sendingintheclowns."
My little twist on Sondheim's song, "Send In the Clowns."

Cakedreamer said...

WOW! I thought I was an amateur! At least I can spell...these are hilarious! Thanks for sharing them!

Kari said...

Oh God, the Lovebug cake (#4) is so ridiculously cute. But from the look of all that icing, it might be coma inducing.

JGV said...

Hahaaaaa, that last cake just made my day.

Anonymous said...

I've stumbled across this site by accident. I've been looking at it all day. When I got to the Valentine's Day cakes...
I've got that non-stop laughter thing going on.