Some years back, there was this Staples commercial that featured a Dad gleefully stocking up on back-to-school supplies, while his two sullen tots trailed hopelessly along behind him. The jolly little ditty about it being the most wonderful time of the year played merrily in the background, and I, the mother of a teen myself, always felt my heart lift a little as I contemplated the first day of school.
[slapping my own hand] Bad mommy! Bad mommy!
Anyway, whether you're thrilled about the day after Labor Day or not, there are plenty of cakes to celebrate with:
"No, sweety-luvvy-kins, spray painting the bus will NOT get you a day off from school. They'll just send another one."
"And don't let this give you any ideas, either."
[sigh] "Ok, yes, if your bus driver has a big bloody grin, tells you to 'Jump in im back,' and the other kids are screaming warnings from the windows, then we can talk.
"But that's not going to happen! So, out you go. Chop chop. Bus is waiting.
"Look, do you know what happens to little tykes who complain about school? Hm? The Poop Nose Snaggletooth Dog-a-saurus comes after them!"
"He'll eat your homework first...and then YOU for dessert!"
[Screaming child runs toward waiting schoolbus]
Ahhhhhh... silence at last! This really is the most wonderful time of the year.
Wait, that just reminded me of something. Soon I'll have to start my holiday shopping.
Aw, crap.
Thank for the reminder, Tiffany, Allison I., Stephanie P. & Kylie. Really.
- Related Wreckage: Cake Wrecks, World Educator
|
125 comments | Post a Comment
Is the first one underwater?
Must be the Magic School Bus.
i thought he was telling the kids to "jump in, in back"... that combined with the kids made of black icing and the fact that it was a bus, the cake scared me pee out of me for a minute.
That commercial is such a classic! They used it again this year. I love it.
As for the cakes, well, um, those are just horrific.
1.) I keep reading "wrecksistant" as "wreckititis". I think that's when you overdose on CW's: Sorry, Anne-Marie won't be in today, she has a minor case of wreckitis.
2.) Is Poopnose von Snaggledog (that's his name in my world) made completely of icing?! He's definitely gonna look the same goin' out as he did goin' in...
Back to school the day after Labor Day? What kind of a fantasy land do you live in? Our kids have been in school since the first week of August. The bliss has worn off. I need a cake that says "Do your homework or you will make cakes that show up on Cake Wrecks."
that commercial is SO my mother's favorite, until she had to drop her last 2 kids off at college for the first time.
maybe there'll be some empty nest wrecktastic cakes out there for mothers like mine.
Wait, that just reminded me of something. Soon I'll have to start my holiday shopping.
You're not done yet? [sigh] Slackers.
I love the slashed tires bus. Purely for comedic reasons, that thing is a horrible mess.
Great job Anne-Marie! Your writing is as good as Jen's!
Does anybody else think that the 2nd one looks like a pig somebody painted to look like a bus? Or is that just me?
That last one is rather frightening...
wv: inguiest - That's the inguiest looking dog I've ever seen. What did that essay DO to him???
Oh my, so wrecky! I actually like the "dog eats homework" cake. OK, well I like the *idea* of the cake, maybe not so much the execution.
-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com
These are great! I always like that comercial too except I still tear up when I drop my daughter off that first day of school. (She started 4th grade this year)
mysleepinghusband.com
Wow - those were hideous! "Get in iom back"? And that dog would scare anyone. Very funny captions, tho'.
WOAH Cudjoe!
That...dog creature...is a hot mess. Looks like one too!
:D Brilliant as usual!
The cakes you post are funny on their own, but your commentary adds so much hilarity!
OMG LOL! Jump in back teehee!
Jairus Durnett - lots of schools dont go back until after Labour Day - it isnt a fantasy world.
I think if you showed the teacher a picture of that dog, she'd believe he ate your homework.
Well, I almost think that the "Jump in im back" cake is *trying* to say, "Jump in. I'M back," as in, the school bus is TALKING. Get it? "Hi, kiddies--I'm the school bus, and I'm BACK! Jump in".
'Cause, you know...the driver's not gonna be telling the little buggers to actually jump IN the bus.
They're not supposed to jump while IN the bus.
Really.
The kids are going to throw up just looking at this cake; never mind actually eating it. Sheeesh.
=^00^=
Honestly, the writing is bad. You should maybe just post the wrecks and let the readers caption them? Not trying to be mean, but it was painful.
Hi Anne-Marie!! Great post.
I thought the last one was okay, even kind of cute, until I noticed the teeth. Yeah, I know the color is rather bad...but...well...anyway.
Those are kind of nightmare-y.
Jairus: LA Unified School District start date is Sept. 9th. Your schools are overachievers!
There's a joke to be made about decorators who ride the short bus...
Is it wrong that I actually like the "Poopnose von Snaggledog" cake?
Isn't Labor Day next week? And can I tell you how much my 2 y/o LOVED the buses. He didn't care they were weird looking...Ah kids
My dad loved that commercial and sings that song every year school begins.
I think I'd go for the ho-ho's behind that first school bus and skip the "cake".
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Love the huge frosting dog?! That is seriously terrifying.
That dog is apparently going to bite off his own tongue when he takes his first bite of the homework...even scarier!
Those are so hilarious! Write-up makes them even funnier! Thanks for brightening my day!
@Jairus: Many schools in my area (Philadelphia) go back just after Labor Day! I would have hated going back in August!
(Sorry if this starts a comment war...)
Awesome writing, Anne-Marie! I can't wait to read more of your work while Jen gets a much-deserved rest before the book tour!
Fantasy land = Michigan. We start after labor day. It's a blessing and a curse.
You are not the only mother who does a happy dance when school starts. Not by a long-shot.
And the "Jump In, I'm Back" cake is just so Stephen King it's unnerving.
"Get in im back" Well, if that's not just a bit sinister! I wonder if that was a special order, or if some wonderfully creative bakery worker decided that would be a hot seller? Perhaps channeling some traumatic childhood experience?
I also like the concept of the dog eating homework cake--kind of creative. I'm willing to bet, however, that that dog is one giant mound of frosting, and wow, does that make me want to hurl.
And nice job, Anne-Marie! :)
Also, just noticed the first cake is going for $14.97. Um, I don't think so. Given the choice, I would go for the three boxes of Ho-hos sitting next to it, I am quite sure.
-kate
not only are these totally wrecktastic, but the thought of people ingesting them and having to bite through mounds of that nasty frosting sicken me just a bit.
To Jairus Durnett - Fantasy Land must be Michigan. Our school starts Sept. 8th. I'm sure there are a few other states that begin after Labor day as well, although I'm thinking it is more common to start in August now.
Love that commercial too!
TN schools, in my area, started Aug 10
Ooof. That dog cake is obscene! The posture, the tongue...what is he *really* doing to that chunk of "homework?"
Okay, I like the dog, too. Maybe the teeth are a bit much, but it's not too bad!
Hey, I like the dog-eating-homework one. Not everything brown is poop -- I think they did a nice job on the dog and the concept is cute. It's alot of icing, but hey, you don't have to eat it all.
Stop! I messed up! Stop! Please don't publish my comment!!!!!!!
I put the wrong name in my post, pleaase, please, I meant JennyPenny who slammed your writing skills, not you Ann-Marie! You are doing great, oh, please, see this!!!!!
Frigglesnitz,
I didn't think you would be that mean. Rewrite it and I'll put it up.
john
I hate that commercial. I happen to enjoy spending time with my child.
Terrible! Terrible in a hilarious, wrecky way.
~Amy B
I love when the wrecks get so ugly/awful/scary by the end that you can look back up at the first one and say "Well, it's really not all that bad..."
I meant to type:
The second cake has melted into a hot bus mess puddle;
The southern states must start much earlier the the Northern ones because we always started after Labor Day;
and to JennyPenny:
If you do want to post your own comments on the cakes, please google image search, "Cake Wrecks," and go to town. You might even want to start your own blog.We love the writing style here, from Jen, John, and Anne-Marie.
(John, thank you for the do-over.)
JennyPenny:
1) Apparently you haven't seen some of the comments here. Not to slam all the commenters, but a lot of jokes get lost on a lot of people and I can't help feeling like most are here to READ the wit, not share it.
2) Simple solution: DON'T READ. Just look at the images, add your own comments in your head, or ignore the site all together. No such thing as a wrong opinion but I guarantee yours is unpopular and I can't imagine why you added it except to create drama.
Most schools in western PA go back the week before Labor Day, or sometimes two weeks before. It's pretty stupid that way because the first week back usually starts on a Tuesday, so it's not a full week and then you have off right away for Labor Day. I always wondered why they just didn't wait.
Well done Anne-Marie. I confess i was a tad worried about Jen having an "assistant", But your comments made me laugh out loud, and call out to my boyfriend to come check out the days posting, so you are officially "top marks" in my books. =)
Is it just me, or is the first bus losing its top to the plastic cover?
The third one is a horror movie in the making. Anyone?
I don't shop at Staples any more, because of that commercial. Not to get too serious, but really? I think kids feel marginalized enough in our world, without making them feel like their own parents don't want them around. And, yes, I'm including teens in that. I don't support anything that promotes that warped view of parenting. Grow up, and learn how to enjoy your kids.
Having said that... love the cakes! Could have done without the commentary.
@ Angie 9:47 a.m.
Nope. Looks like a repainted piggy to me, too, with cute little pink ears. Hoink! Hoink! Time for feeding at the education trough!
The. Dog's. Teeth.
As noted, they are re-running the commerciasl. However I remember the previous commercials with the kids plodding behind the dancing dad, now it seems he drags them on a couch! Wow! Are we getting lazier in this society or what?
Or maybe wonky school bus themed cakes have scared them so much that they now need to be dragged!
Wreck-on! Wreckassistant...wreck on... (meant as a positive comment, such as "Rock on!" not...well...nevermind)
W.V. outst-Let those traumatized kids outst the bus!
It really is a wonderful time since I work at a movie theater and now all those snotty little kids trying to get into the 18A rated movies won't be bothering me to get in without ID... cuz they're back in school! Oh, and I don't know about anyone else, but here in Ottawa, school is already back in session since labour day is next week. God forbid should school go on for an extra week past the normal date and intrude on the beginning of summer. *gasp*
@JennyPenny - what is your problem!!!
(No I don't really want to know.)
Get a clue and write your own blog if you don't think that was funny.
And NO ONE is forcing you to look at this blog or read the writing. Sheesh.
@anonymous without the balls to post your name: you too! Dissing the assitant and the "real blogger" is just plain rude.
This is a humor blog! Laugh! Hahahahaha!!
Great post btw! Even though, yes school here starts rediculously early, and as a working single parent school starting only means shorter, more inconvient schedules and random days off searching for sitters, I still GET it and can laugh at these pathetic works of "craftsmanship".
Alex
Wv: unnis - Unnis meanies need to amscray.
Gosh, get the heck on you HATERS! I actually did not even notice this was a co author on the comments. Sometimes theyre funny, sometimes theyr hilarious, sometimes theyre too the point. I dont see why you contributed anything at all. Must have been one of your cakes on here.
WV: Hater Kellie wish shed crente something better than a pigbus
Awww that last one isn't so bad.
I agree about not shopiing there because of that portrayal. I have never seen such commericial but I hate stuff that only furthers perpetuate roles that are unfair to both kids and parents, wife and husband, friends and friends.
I use shopping as a learnimg experience. I have a 2 yr old and we practice our colors of fruits and produce and the names and we count items too so when I buy 2 or 5 of the items I pass it to him and he counts and drops it behind him in the buggy
WV: Wilikebu
Me and my son wilikebu together forever
I thought I only found idiot posters on the news websites, now they are on here trying to repost their same statement under anonymous and different names. Just because you was the only one who was negative and we all disagree with your Hateful comments dont repost and repost them!!
P.S. Most school in the south start in aug and most up north are ater labor day. Im in SC and it always started on wed beginning of August but with kids starting school back early, ppl werent going to the beach in augst so they pushed school back till middle of August to allow more tourism even though It still aint pushed back enough, but then look at our governor here in sc and we rank 49th so I guess they in congress arent smart enough to push it back till sept so we could have more tourism within residents.
Also Ive heard its about the air conditions bills too, dont want them in school with hottest month of the years
WV: pexostat. South Carolina is in such a pexostat because of a philandering governor and cokehead Lt Gov
that second one gives a new meaning to "the broken down school bus on the side of the road".
Hooray! The dog cake got in! I took this photo with Kylie who sent it in, we couldn't stop laughing. Let me tell you, the alternative school-themed cakes weren't much to look at either. And as a sidenote, the Poop Nose Snaggletooth Dog-a-saurus has been sitting in that display case for at least a month now...
Like everyone else, I'm sure, I recognized that the wreckerator meant "I'm back," but since I heard it in Arnold Schwarzenegger's menacing Terminator voice, that didn't really help. Scared the peewadden out of me.
I love the frosting dog--particularly because of the individual detail given to the teeth. Grrrrrrr! Hilarious. And no fondant in sight!
WV: pidyli--That bus cake is pidyli colored.
I just saw that ad for Staples last night!!! LOVED it!!!
My Mom used to tease us that she was going to shoot off fireworks as we got on the bus on the first day of school. We lived in the country and got on in the dark.
I knew she was teasing and didn't really "want to get rid of us". I tease my kids too. But I also tell them I miss them when they are at school, etc.
I think if you raise your children right, they will be secure enough of your love for them, that a little teasing is fun. They tease me too.
I also think that the blog was well written and funny!!
I LOVE Cake Wrecks.
I check your blog frequently; actually have it linked under my "Blogs to Make You Laugh" section ... can I just say my husband always knows when I'm reading your posts because of my hysterical laughter ... thanks for the laughs! "Poop-Nose Snaggletooth Dog-a-saurus" ... I don't know what's funnier, the cakes or your commentary!
The dog cake was just what I needed to perk up my bleak morning. :-p
Also, great commentary, despite those who would urge to the contrary.
I know the dog eating homework is a gross amount of frosting, and scary looking, but I still think it's awesome! It was a clever and funny concept and I'd totally buy that to cheer my kids up about having to wake up early for school again! But then I'd scrape off the frosting dog and throw it away before serving the cake!
Day after labor day???? My kid has been in school for over a month already..Ahhh sweet silent bliss!
Don't listen to them Anne-Marie!
You're commentary is awesome and anonymous is jealous!
If Poopnose von Snaggledog was black instead of brown he would look just like one of my dogs, including the mouth full of paper. In fact, I think I might have found her new nickname...
Day after Labor Day? School has been back in session here for about a month. Thank goodness. Now I don't have to listen to all of the kids in the neighborhood during the day. So glad I don't have any myself.
loved these!!!! I might have nightmares about that dog chasing me, frosting dripping off of it's rabid body....Yikes.
And one other thing....I can't believe how many rude comments there were today about Anne Marie. Geez people, lighten up! Go eat a frigging cupcake and come back when you can play nice. I thought she did a great job :)
Teachers rest, Mothers pest. as our Parish Priest always says!!The Dog eating homework doesnt look that wrecky, and once it actually happened in our house! I wrote a note and apparently the class almost fell of their chairs laughing as the teacher just had to share!It was considered "cool"
Ha! My mom doesn't get excited about back to school! She's as sad as us! That's what happens when you're a teacher. :P
What a bunch of sour poopy people that hate kids/humor sites and life in general it seems. And how extreme can you be, boycotting a store because you disagree with their marketing department? That's just horrible. Love this site, but anytime I read comments from the users, I just end up shaking my head and wondering why people are so crabby.
@ Anonymous at 2:10
Wow. I paused a great career to stay at home with my kids and feel blessed we were able to get on with one income until they were most of the way through high school. I love my children. I was the quintessential at home mom; activities, enrichment, story time at the library, parks, sports and the oh-so-necessary time spent just for them to experience true boredom.
And weeding.
But when that big yellow bus rolled up in September, (after Labor day, mandated here)I WAS happy to see them go! Happy for them to see the friends they had missed over the summer, happy for them to progress to the next academic level, happy for them to gain new experiences as they progressed through life and transitioned bit by bit out into the world.
It WAS the most wonderful time of the year for all of us. Back to routines, new and old friends, time for me to reclaim some "me time" and recharge my batteries after a summer with full-time kid commitments.
Frankly, both boys are now away at college and were chomping at the bit to get back to school - JUST LIKE THEY DID when in K-12.
But, sheesh, I guess that just makes me a bad mom.
Jen, Jen's Husband, Anne-Marie: Sorry if I hijacked the topic. Anon at 2:10 just touched a nerve. Great post, though - Kudos!
WV: adousn - I would happily spend adousn more years at home with my kids if I could be assured it wouldn't stunt their emotional and intellectual growth.
My son thinks the dog is a Dragon!! I told him no puppy but he tells me No Dragon.
I love the Homework Eater cake! I'd buy it.
The school bus cake is classic! I think my son has already used the dog ate my hmw excuse this year.
I started school again (Teacher) and I have a rough bunch this year. The werewolf destroying all things educational seems to be a metaphor for the year I am having thus far. We have been in school for seven days and I have had two cases of lice, broke up two hitting fights, had one child throw a 45 minute tantrum before someone removed him, and had another show where babies come from. I live and work in an affluent area. Please bring on the rum cake!
Hey guys,
I have decided to change the rules a bit for the comment section. I will no longer be posting anonymous criticism as I honestly think it is unfair. If you feel strongly enough that you need to comment, and you go through the effort of typing something out, there's no reason you can't scroll down a bit and put your name. This doesn't apply to most of you and, to be honest, we've always welcomed criticism, but I am truly over addressing folks as "Anon @ 9:30".
And before the trolls come out and cry censorship, please note that Jenny Penny's comment, no matter how wrong I think it is, is still up.
Thanks guys and wreck on!
john
I kinda like the last one. *cough*
But then, I have a twisted sense of humor.
Thanks John, I couldn't agree more!
WV: whatief-Whatief we all try to get along, k?
that's one scary-looking dog
OH, HALLY-LOO-YAH!!
No more ANNONYMOUS, COWARDLY CHICKEN-S***s???!!!
John, dear, you have--really and truly~~just made my DAY.
(Bye-bye, birdies! Come back when you can grow a pair and play with the big kids.)
BBWWAAWKK!
.!.
Awww... the back to school garbage truck bus is kinda cute :)
great post wreckassitant!
that commercial is still running!!! it excites me every time I see it and the kids are only going into 1st grade(FULL DAY FINALLY) tomorrow morning here we come!!
"Sweety-luvvy-kins" =)
I love it! -Sarah
For cake #2: Actually in the school district I taught in, some kids slashed the tires of buses on the first day of school and we had to have a 2-hour-delay. Ah, memories.
I'll bet these are ordered by schools to serve to teachers to "inspire" them during their break between back-to-school meetings.
@Rachael: Our schools here in Mississauga in the beautiful province of Ontario start the day after Labour Day. I didn't realize Ottawa schools started earlier than ours, given that we're in the same province.
Isn't that the great thing about wrecktastic cakes; they transcend all national boundaries!!
'It's the most..wonderful time..of..the..year!!' We've tormented our kids for years with that song from the commercial, the night before school. However, these cakes are too late for us. Schools started here 2 weeks ago.
wv: risabl. The 'im back' cake is risabl.
Hey- I have that dog on my phone and forgot to send it in. Someone else has found the wreckiest grocery store bakery in our parts!
It is truly a frightening glop of frosting.
Nah, not true that schools in the northern states always start after Labor Day. I remember my cousins up in Maine always having to start school in August while we were on vacation there (because at the time, *we* started after Labor Day). They went earlier because they had off a couple of weeks in Sept or Oct for potato picking.
Why would someone come to this fun site that never fails to make me laugh out loud and be critical? If you don't have something nice to say, go to another blog and let us enjoy this one! Lighten up, people! It's just cake!
Thank you Anne-Marie for a great post!
Anon@2:10. Marginalized??? One commercial can make today's kids feel marginalized?? Please, the world tends to revolve around today's kids in the US. Everything is supposed to be 'kid friendly', even adult oriented restaurants at 10pm on a weeknight.
And I say this as a loving mother of two terrific young men (17 & 22). Society seems to be very kid-centric, I doubt one Staples commercial is going to damage self-esteem. And I always sing that song to my kids to tease them because they know I much prefer summer with no homework/schedule/papers to sign/meetings/packed lunches etc etc etc. I don't like it when school starts. But they know how to take being teased lovingly.
geeze, we've been in school since august 11th. i'd love that late start! but, we do get done mid may...
tomorrow is a baby shower at work. i'll keep my fingers crossed for the cake to be awful :p
Cake #2 looks like it's transporting the black smoke from lost.
Cakewrecks rocks!
adnoxious.blogspot.com
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this blog. But I don't get why people have to slam other people's opinions.
JennyPenny just said what she thought. It didn't seem mean spirited. And the writing IS NOT great today. Not like it usually is. I was a bad writer once too. And when people were honest it made me do better.
OMG. Look at the teeth on the (cough, cough) dog(?)!
I have a pit bull, and on her worst day, that dog beats her hands down. (of course, she's currently hiding out under a blanket...sleeping...next to my cat...) ah, well.
K-
The Poo Dog cake is rather clever - though poorly executed.
We've been back in school for almost a month now....and my 5th grade son has come home several times, already, with wrecktastic tales to tell of CCC birthdays being celebrated in the classroom (one month down and already 3 out of 6 in-class birthday celebrations have had Cup Cake Cakes).
I doubt any could live up to these fine examples of artistry, though....but my son says they've come pretty close. Perhaps the day I volunteer I will be able to see one and snap a photo??
I must say, though....the idea of serving elementary school students a CCC loaded with all the required icing in the middle of the school day may be the reason why literacy rates are dropping? Can't imagine trying to stay awake an hour after ingesting all that sugar....let alone being able to focus and form a thought.
I absolutely LOVE that commercial. It is so wonderfully done.
Aw! So cute! I like them all. ;D Especially the last one where the dog eating the cake hahaha..;D
April
Stories from a Teenage Mom
Mom On the Run
Good morning, Anne-Marie. That is one of my favorite commercials (and I homeschool my kids!)...I laugh every time! Probably b/c it's something my husband would do. ;) They're playing it again this year, here...
Great cakes ;) I actually do like the snarling dog one, but it could possibly give a kindergarten-er nightmares. TFS..love the commentary, too!
"The Poop Nose Snaggletooth Dog-a-saurus" LMAO!!
Short bus cakes! ahahahaha
I don't have kids...but can I stick my partner on the bus and get a few days to myself? lol
If loving the vicious Dogasaurus is wrong, I don't wanna be right - pass a slize (WV - really!), please.
My husband thinks I have lost my mind because the first thing I do at the grocery is head for the bakery to look for wrecks. I found a great wreck of a school bus but he wouldn't let me take a picture! And now I see a very similar one here! I guess I will have to go to the grocery by myself so I can submit one. These are a hoot!
Oh, why bother celebrating ? Except for those of us who have a passion for lots of frosting and ugly cakes !
As much of a wreck as it might be, I love the dog eating the homework one!
The kids where I live (western KY) went back to school the last week of July after just getting out the last week of May. I have never gone back after Labor Day; I would have loved that as a Kid!
Oh my god, that commercial is absolutely hilarious!
I'm pretty amazed in the cake with the dog biting on it. That is simply unique. I definitely love it!
The Poop Nose Snaggletooth Dog-a-saurus . that comment combined with that picture is one of the funniest things i have seen in a long time. i actually laughed out loud for about 2 minutes while alone, just like a crazy person
GREAT !...
Ciao from Italy
:)
I laughed until I cried! Thanks I needed that. Most of these cakes look like the decorator was on acid or some other drug! I loved the UK cake as I live in Northern KY and there is a hugh UK fan base here.
Rabid werewolf-pup!
Quick, a fork! Defend yourself
before it eats you!
i think the dog is creative. i liked it.
I'm sitting here reading through your blog, staring at these horrid cakes, thinking "I could do better than this!"
Then it hit me. I need to find a job soon. Why not apply as a Cake Decorator Trainee at Publix and put my artistic talent towards a paid job?
Sounds like a lot more fun than stocking to me!
So thanks for the great idea! I'll for sure come back and let you know whether or not I apply or get hired!
Ok, this site is too hilarious! I cannot stop rolling with laughter!
Actually once they cancelled school here because the busses were vandalized :D
The soccer one--besides the ribbon (done wrong and shouldn't be there), besides the rat/mouse poop, besides the weird "flowers", besides the fallen players...what about the GREEN goalie?!? He should have never been there.
Complete fail.