Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Truth in Advertising

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how.

Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that say, "Hey, we're a modern, 'with-it' bakery that knows just how to relate to today's generation."

"You see, kids, there once was a time when phones had cords on them."

You also want cakes that show you take your job seriously:

And that your figure modeling is second-to-none:

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS. TAKE US HOME OR WE WILL STUN YOU WITH OUR LASER EYES. JUST KIDDING. HA. HA. HA."

But also some that show you aren't lacking in the crazy department:

"Proud to be the only bakery that offers large chocolate grenades in our 'Peeps VS Bobble-Heads Soccer Match in the Desert of Doom' design - now with random Rugrats!"


Jasmine D., Erin F., Lisa M., Sarah N., & Maren J., can you spot the grenade?


- Related Wreckage: Wrecks on Display
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

I think the doll on the first cake is so embarrassed to be associated with that work of art, she's trying to climb inside and hide.

On the cool teen cake, is that a hairbrush or a chicken leg she's holding???

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

Cake #3 might be for a Texas Aggie (Whoop!).

I don't think cake #4 is supposed to be two women. The one on the right looks like a British glam rocker. Complete with feathered locks.

~ Rebecca said...

Random Rugrats and the first-season human cast of Pokémon -- I see Misty and maybe Brock.

Shandra - MFCAA said...

Hilarious! That last one made me laugh so hard I cried. Thanks - I needed that this morning!

CathyBB said...

Not only random Rugrats but isn't the girl off to the left Misty from Pokemon? Yeah, and that's Brock toward the back on the right! Now we should REALLY want one of their cakes! =)

Anonymous said...

There's some pokemon characters on the last cake! Haven't seen THEM in forever...
And all in all, the second cake was really quite nice besides the fact that, ya know, it looks like a scene out of Bye Bye Birdie...

drgns4vr said...

My first reaction to the soccer match cake was "Is the netting made of Swiss cheese?" At least it would have added a little calcium, which may be all the isn't on that cake.

WV adthmatt I was very adthmatt about what frosting I wanted on the cake.

Trevor said...

Okay, the telephone cake isn't all THAT bad. a little dated, but at least the art work is nice.

The figures ARE a little creepy, I'll admit, but I've seen far worse (like my figures. totally scary).

I saw the gernade, and yeah, THAT cake is totally wrecktastic!

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

hahaha! Perfectly "human" ladies with scary eyes are hilarious :)

Barbara A. said...

The "Desert of Doom" cake also features random Pokémon characters. I wonder if Misty is rooting for the Peeps.

Tara said...

The Peeps don't stand a chance. The Bobbleheads each have a ball. The creepy man in orange pants needs to blow the whistle. So unfair!

sherri said...

This last one is actually a "mona" that is given to children (usually your godchild) at Easter in Spain. They are pure chocolate designs. Here is a youtube from bakery there with some of their "monas" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZZ78OaGY3w&feature=related. They are usually kind of strange, but I must admit, this is a "mona"-wreck for sure.

If you have any "mona" question, just let me know.

Sherri
Austin, TX

Anonymous said...

i don't see rugrats, but i do see some pokemon characters!

-quinn

Vicki said...

That first one...no words. Wrong on so many levels.

Strange Mamma said...

I honestly cannot even comprehend what some people are thinking. They do know this supposed to be food, right? To be eaten? Unless it's me. I may be out of the loop. Is throwing up before having cake the new it diet these days?

Charity Charity Ichiban! said...

I wasn't sure what was wrong with the 13th Birthday cake, I totally remember being 13 and begging parents for "My own phone line". Which we finally did get when we needed another line to dial up into this new thing called the world wide web. Anyone want to meet me in a chat room? AOL keyword - wreckage.

Fluffy Cow said...

*opens mouth to comment*

*shuts mouth*

Melinda said...

Thanks for the laughs, Jen! Unbelievable! Love the "Big Woop" cake...

Melinda

mor-mor said...

Hilarious! The grenade is next to the coconut tree. Duh....

Rachel Emilie said...

I actually think the spaced-out figures on the alien 'Unique Females' cake look quite cute! I can see replica staring-eye girls being whipped up by Wreck fans before long... ;)

Stephanie said...

The "Big Woop" cake cracked me up. I just love the irony...
The "alien" figures are also quite hilarious. XD

Judy said...

I think the doll on the first one is singing "My Milkshake".....

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Doesn't too-cool-for-school-teen-girl have someone she should be texting?

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Jenniffer said...

Take away the creepy zombie eyes and those molded figures are really pretty nice.

The last cake was just awesomely wreckful though! Sometimes I get Moms that want their kids to have A LOT of say in their cakes. Many kids have asked for cakes very similar to this. It's our jobs as bakers to wrangle the mess of "I want my soccer team playing against peeps while Pokemon and Rugrats characters cheer us on!" and whittle it down into a more focused cake design. Or not!

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

WV: skyll - It takes a lot of skyll to mix several different characters together into one cohesive cake!

Justine said...

I just LOVE the use of color on the second cake! I mean, white, yellow, brown and black? Very eye-catching. ;)

And I'm sorry but that fourth cake is making me wonder what those girls might be sitting on...

Little Lovables said...

definately inventive pieces here. i think they are speaking to the kitcsh loving folk.

though the brunette figure is pretty, I like her hair, she needs some eyelids and crack free pupils though

Annimal said...

Help me out here--does the telephone girl have a turkey leg in her left hand?

Anonymous said...

Isn't that Rocky from the old Cher movie "Mask" at the back of the Desert of Doom soccer cake?

Bill's Bayou said...

Why does the first cake look like her dress is parting to reveal a gargantuan pink penis? Or am I the only one who sees this?

Lucille Ball Jr. said...

WOW! that barbie one, is so, i don't know.
i don't under stand the barbie head on a cake thing!

frigglesnitz said...

The first cake, if done to scale, would have the doll's legs stop halfway down her dres...wait a minute, does that mean the birthday girl gets a real wicked cool hove-hoop skirt for her birthday? Awesome (says the eighties girl into her corded phone.)

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute...one of those "Rugrats" is Misty from Pokemon! They're crossing the beams, man! Crossing! The! Beams!

Persnickety Ticker said...

You have to admit in the corded phone cake that the foreshortening, perspective and proportions are pretty much dead on. Which is "SO TOTALLY AWESOME!!"

On that last cake or whatever it is, I would say it looked like they grabbed some last minute decorations out of their fish tank. Umm...eww.

Helen Highwater said...

The second one looks like 80s/early 90s Tampax adverts (except perhaps without the dog).

In fact, maybe she's phoning animal control about the dog? She does seem to be looking in its direction with a slightly concerned expression.

Etiquette Bitch said...

Hilarious. The poor figure-models look like one is doing yoga (in a hypnotized state) and the other is freezing to death and just joining her friend, while also under hypnosis.

Jedi Knight Ivyan said...

The doll cake looks like a drunken stripper climbing out of a giant... cake.

Hmmm...

Well maybe it's for a gag cake for a bachelor party? "Hey dude! Yeah, we totally got you a stripper, (snickering)".

Dreamer said...

I love the fact that the girl on the telephone cake is munching down on Turkey legs and other various picnics while talking on her princess phone.

Anonymous said...

The first thing I thought of when I saw the last cake was one of those ancient ball courts in Central America http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesoamerican_ballgame (okay, maybe my brain is a bit esoteric). Come on, does any other explanation make more sense to explain that "design"? Anyway, apparently those games sometime involved human sacrifice, so the cake has that going for it too.

Laura said...

Holy cow that last one has very 'modern' Pokemon people figures too. Of course not important ones just leftover sidekicks and definitely NOT any Pokemon.

Anonymous said...

Looking at the first cake, do people not have any pride AT ALL in what they do? That is insane.

lellums said...

i think the "grenade" is an Easter egg...

Anonymous said...

Is that a black dial phone she's using? I think Grandma had one of those.

---Blue Jean

ko said...

Been lurking a while without commenting, but have to say I actually really quite like the creepy eyed alien doll cake! They have a sort of kitsch cuteness about them. I don't think it's a wreck at all... Does that make me a bad person?

PerkinsClan said...

Wreckorator #1: This doll just isn't tall enough, but I don't think I can stack anymore.

Wreckorator #2: Well, we've got this cake over here that isn't being used, what if we just stack it on top?

Wreckorator #1: Do the orange and pink match?

Wreckorator #2: Sure, both have a red base, right? Plus, they're both ruffley. They so go together.

(assemble, assemble)

Wreckorator #1: You were right dude, that's awesome!

Wreckorator #2: Yeah, I've got an eye for groovy. We'll be famous one day.

Lisa said...

Has that princess cake been slowly melting??

As for the girl on the phone, it looks like a box from a sunday cartoon in the 1980s!!

Mandy said...

That last cake had me cracking UP! The randomness is endearing!

WV: "hypees" ~ the resultant recipients who consume cake #5.

CuteCakeName said...

I think the creepy figure on the right looks just like Tori Spelling... does no one else see this?
As for the Barbie cake, I particularly love the color combo. Hot pink and lavendar on top (Bill's Bayou, I totally saw *it* once you said something) and UT orange and white + a mulititude of pastels on the bottom. Brilliant.

Lauren said...

The two-women cake look like it took some skill, actually. Yes they have laser eyes, but the Farrah hair is pretty good!

R. said...

If only they could put the "human women" on the 'Big Whoop' cake, I would be oh so pleased.

VeggieT said...

That third one makes me think the wreckerator has watched too much nickalodian

Banana Harlequin said...

Are you sure those are Peeps? Looks like Misty has created an army of Psyduck! @__@!!!

Amy said...

I really like the teen cake, actually. Of course, that makes me old enough to remember talking on phones with cords! LOL

~Amy B,

Beki said...

I'm gonna go with Bye Bye Birdie on that second cake, because that is totally a rotary dial phone she is using.

Norkio said...

So, I clicked on the bookmark for this page and then I had to answer the phone, and look away. When I looked back at the screen I was literally startled by the heap/doll/crochet monstrosity.

Actual WV: recilshl - when a wreck is both wrecky and short bus special "wreckilishl"

Melissa (& Billy) said...

Is the first one supposed to be "The Princess and the Pea?" If so, good job! If not, ehh...not so much.

You know, I might just be waxing nostalgic, but I dig the phone girl cake. That could be really cute if someone updated it. Of course, when I was 13 having a phone was a big deal. Nowadays girls might look at that and go, "Psshh. I had a phone, an iPod, and a Wii when I was seven."

The aliens are great. Either that or they're stunned by other wrecks in their display window.

LAWLZ for the pan-dimensional soccer game. Although the chocolate bleachers are clever, if they're real.

Wreck on! =D

Faith said...

Thank goodness for Sherri in Austin's explanation on what that last thing might be. All I knew for sure was that it couldn't be a cake. I once made a castle out of sugar cubes for a project in the 3rd grade, and I thought perhaps it was something along those kinds of lines...

Erica said...

is that chick on the phone eating a turkey drumstick? o.0

Christine said...

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS." Man, I'm still laughing at this! Perfect awkward English, Jen.

My first thought was they were meant to be blow-up dolls, but I like the alien theory more.

HA! - WV whemenh. The figures on that cake are surely not women, they are whemenh.

Natalie said...

Wow. Those Bobbleheads sure have some balls. There's no way the Peeps can win.

jamie95 said...

The Peep in the middle of the bleachers on the right looks like it is part of a Dali painting and is melting and sliding down the bleachers.

DangGina said...

I actually really got a kick out of the cake models with ginormous eyes...and whatever else is wrong with them. Funny, funny!

Nat said...

Let's not forget the obscure Pokemon figure on the soccer cake as well!

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering why there are pokemon characters on the last cake.

Sharon said...

That first cake is more of a wreck than you realize. That's a retro nude pinup doll in a see-thru nightie. Truckers used to put them on their dashboards.

Abby Normal said...

i think the "grenade" is an Easter egg...

No, I think it's Epcot.

mudslicker said...

I've got a feeling that Julie has LONG AGO seen her 13th birthday. Either that or that's a cake out of Mad Men.

clashcc said...

Dunno what kind of freaky world you live in but there's nothing wrong with the phone cake! Phones like that are completely normal! o_0

mochaxlight said...

I think that guy on the right with the soccer ball is a Vulcan. Who knew Vulcans played soccer! Ah, cakes, you teach us so much.

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

My cousin had a telephone cake like that when she turned sixteen.

In 1980.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

OMG Anonymous, Mexican ball court was exactly my first thought! It's probably less my esoteric mind going there than my Master's in Anthro. Those bobble heads are going to be decapitated if they lose. That would actually be kind of funny!

Anonymous said...

final cake also has a couple of pokemon characters..
I believe I see Professor Oak, Brock and Misty on there as well as Angelica from Rugrats? o.O

Zhoen said...

The second one is, I'm pretty sure, based on the comic Luann. The dog looks about right, as is the pose with the phone and brush on the bed, although the main character's face is way off.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luann_(comic_strip)

http://books.google.com/books?id=lRPPxVz3LosC&dq=luann&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=bZnH8i7J1K&sig=6U2hK1LcA1oVBmoMIKB4QjwsSyw&hl=en&ei=_kiUStqfDIyCswP_3pHNDw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Ashley said...

...I don't see the wreck on the teen cake. :/

sendingtheclowns said...

Bloody Hell!! Cake number one looks like Rapunzel, waiting for her hero to scale the tower walls and rescue her. (She's sinking!! ) Doesn't seem too worried about it, though...all leaning back and casual-like...biding her time taking in the sprawling views below her...
@ Strange Mamma:
Forget the "loop," and rest assured that throwing up AFTER having cake is still en vogue...especially when the cakes are as feisty as these.
@ Blue Jean:
I actually was ALIVE way back when they had dial phones!!! Great fun they were; we children would gather together after chores were done and take turns dialing numbers just for fun. It was EXTRA special when electricity came along and we could actually call people.
********
*Rrriiinngg! Rrrriiinnng!* "Hello? Yes, this is Ann Margret's stunt double. You want me to pick the phone up off the floor?? But--but--it's the size of a Volkswagon! I quit!!"

Stephanie said...

I see Misty & Brock from the Pokemon on that last cake!!!

ellie said...

Isn't that doll on the left side of the soccer cake Misty from Pokemon?
;__; Poor Misty. I feel bad for her.
-

Alix said...

Big Whoop Jen.

Steven S. said...

What I find amazing (and a tad scary) is I bet that is a Spanish-based cake, because I'd bet a small sum of money those are F.C. Barcelona team figurines: I think I recognize Puyol, Marquez, and Eto'o. Not sure about the others, especially the Vulcan; Xavi?

Anonymous said...

I see pokemon figures, not Rugrats.
The tall redhead figure is totally Misty.

Raine said...

That last one is like a Where's Waldo?

KidsCakes said...

Love the scary eyes on the fondant women - did somebody not actually look at them after they created them?

Julie from
CakesAndKids.com

Kiki Zala said...

Right, I forget who it was above who said it first, but I agree - my initial thought when I saw the Casual Ladies was "Is it me, or does that totally look like Tori Spelling?"

WV: Moniat - I think the corded telephone cake looks like it could be an ad for some kind of feminine hygiene product - new Moniat.

Bree said...

The scary alien girls on Cake #4 remind me of The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 movie not the Nicole Kidman remake).

A Gordon said...

On the second cake, all I can see is that the girls' boobs are bigger than her head...that might be normal for some, but at 13?? Come on!

iris said...

the first one looks like she's doing crunches on a elaborately decorated volcano. if only the Kilauea volcano was sprinkled with glitter and spewing Pepto Bismol!

Scritzy said...

Oh my gosh, where to begin ...

I agree with the Courteous Chihuahua on the fist cake; the doll is trying to hide. The weird thing is, the layer underneath Godzilla the Monster Skirt is really quite pretty.

I think the "Whoop" cake was done by the same decorator who swizzled all the green strings on that birthday cake posted a few days ago.

And the phone cake looks like an illustration from a Donna Parker book. Kids, ask your par—— I mean, your GRANDparents.

Anonymous said...

Wow, cake #2 had a woman holding some kind of bottle (beer I assume) for a kid's 13th birthday! Not entirely appropriate I think.

SarahMama said...

Both casual ladies look like Tori Spelling! I'm glad a couple other posters had the same thought...and saved me from being the only one with 90210 flashbacks.

Sarah

Jake and Tanya Wilson said...

I'm with ya on the whole LOST thing! Why do they torcher us so??

sailordada_99 said...

Why does the soccer cake's perspective go all wonky? Is that a soccer player on top of that palm tree or is the wreck-ator really telling me the only safe way to view Cake Wrecks is with my glasses on? @ _ @

brista said...

Anon @ 9:51 PM -- I think that's supposed to be a hairbrush. Or a hot dog. Or turkey leg. One of those, anyway...

LadyRhian said...

The two wide-eyed "gals" look like they are saying, "Did somebody just fart?" and looking for the culprit

Anonymous said...

The doll on the left in the last cake looks and awful lot like Misty from Pokemon.

Eileen

Buffy said...

Surely those two chicks on cake #4 are Bratz dolls? Only not quite as scary-looking?

Glory von Hathor said...

The Great Cakewreck of Chichén Itzá!

Julie said...

Ok, I swear that second cake was my 13th birthday cake.......14 years ago!!

setaypollo said...

Sherri is right, the bottom one is a Mona, a traditional Easter gift in Barcelona. I should know, I'm from Barcelona myself. :)

There are two kinds of Mona: the cake with chocolate eggs and peeps on top or the favoured all-chocolate sculpture/model/whatever. Those get extremely random-- there are some beauties, though.

The usual is to make them be current in setting and plastic figurines so that kids will like them more, but the problem is that there is usually a bit of a backstock of plastic figurines... What do you do with those 700-odd extra pokémon figurines you bought 7 years ago? A Mona with only them on top doesn't sell anymore.

Solution: use them as extras in a FC Barcelona-setting Mona and create an acid trip-worthy scenario such as the bottom one. It gets worse when the traditional Catalan "Caganer" figurine is added... a crouching, pooping shepherd. People don't bat an eye. I kind of love my country. :)

setaypollo said...

And those grenade-Easter eggs are an oddly common design.

Anonymous said...

I love how each player has a soccer ball of their own. Everybody wins!

evanescent_illusions said...

For those who don't see the Rugrat, it's Angelica sitting off to the right. Noted by her bright yellow pigtails, purple dress, and purple and orange tights.

Anonymous said...

The "Big Whoop" cake appears to be an oversized Whoopie Pie. Not that it saves the mess from wreckeration, but I immediately understood the choice of words. Come to Pennsylvania and you'll understand the chocolatey goodness that is the Whoopie Pie.

Miranda said...

Bill, honey, it's you. lol.

LMAO the soccer game is...well, let's just say I think someone was, again, doing extracurricular activities at work. *inhales* maaaannn. you know what would be really funny? a hurr hurr hurr! If we put some peeps over here... DUUUDE... and some Pokemon stuff over there... hurrr! *inhales again* Like, someone is going to PAY for this, maaannn....*cough cough*

chicken lips said...

why is one of the girls wearing a tank top and the other a parka? Am I missing something?

Zombie Edward said...

Wow! That last one really takes the cake. Bobblehead soccer players, peeps all over the place and random Rugrats(Angelica) AND Pokemon charaters!(Misty, Brock, Professor whatshisname)

Anonymous said...

Are those 2 girls supposed to be Jay Leno in drag?

:: maren :: said...

Re: PokeFiasco

ALL the cakes in that bakery were like that. This was Barcelona's big bad Easter display.

you should have seen the one with Captain Hook and Tinkerbell on a marzipan Boeing 747 with a Peep as pilot.

- Maren J. (Austin, TX)

:: maren :: said...

and yeah, you guys are all right, it's a Mona, and it was taken in Barcelona.

I agree with the Mexican ball court theory, I kind of always thought those chocolate risers looked like the sides of an Aztec pyramid or something.

--Maren

the un-bride said...

Um ... does that Barbie have a giant red baboon ass?

sendingtheclowns said...

chicken lips said...
"why is one of the girls wearing a tank top and the other a parka? Am I missing something?"
*****
Oh, dear. At the risk of sounding like a wiseass, the only reason that I can think of for the discrepancy is this:
*clears throat*
It shouldn't matter because they likely cannot feel either warm or cold...the reason BEing...
oh, I don't know...
maybe because they're not REAL??
=^~~^= heh heh

Dani said...

Oh my. That lumpy doll cake dress is bad enough, but why is it balanced over that disgusting orange base cake??

Dray said...

Definitely Misty and Brock in that last cake, but I think the one closest to the field is Professor Oak. Sure looks like him. Hmm...

Anonymous said...

The one on the left looks like Farrah Fawcett, in a creepy kind of way.

Katie Morgans said...

What temperature is it on top of #4? One woman is wearing a tank top and the other has on a parka...

Octan said...

Is it just me, or does cake #2, with the phone, look like one of those display "cakes" that's been sitting around for ages? It looks discolored and possibly dusty, although that might just be the photo quality. So it may very well be as old as the picture suggests.

Lise said...

Ohhh! Ohhhh! Gasp! Chortle! Hahahahaha! Thank you Cake Wrecks! Thank you! That laughing fit surely enhanced my immune system and fortified me for the coming flu season! Thank you! :)

Anonymous said...

The phone girl looks like she is eating a chicken drumstick...

Ally said...

There are pokemon character figurines on that cake as well as rugrats! Misty is on the stands, and I'm pretty sure that's Brock over on the other side. I think that's even Professor Oak over there too, in the orange pants!

Anonymous said...

Is it me or is that blonde figure modeled after Tori Spelling?

Anonymous said...

I love the last one.

lilmiscantberong said...

ok, the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw the first cake is that it looks just like those toilet paper holders your grandma used to have on the back of her toilet.

They were knitted around to look like a dress, had a rod through the middle to hold and conceal two rolls of paper and then a barbie doll head was stuck to the top so it looked like a pretty doll when you were done.

Jessica said...

I'm loving the Misty from Pokemon figure on the soccer one....

Sami said...

I think the grenade is an easter egg, and what's with Angelica? As if she would watch soccer - Phil & Lil I would believe. Does anyone have an explanation for the little chickens?

TheatreGirl said...

am i the only one that noticed the alien ladies cake said UNIQUE cakes by....? just asking here

Anonymous said...

i think that the last cake has 3 dolls from the pokemon show misty is on the left on the bleachers brock is to the right on the other bleachers and profeser oak is by the net

Cupcakes Lady said...

Is the girl on the phone eating a turkey drumstick?? Random! lol xx

Anonymous said...

The first cake somehow makes me think of the Big Mama alien in "Aliens," laying all those eggs.

Sigourney? Kill it! Kill it!

--Dr. Vic

MB said...

I think one of those plastic figurines in the bleachers of the last cake is Misty from Pokemon. Huh.

Shira said...

Wow--this post is from a really long time ago, but I was creeping through the archives and couldn't help commenting, as Barca is my favorite team.
The bottom picture is certainly a Barcelona cake, from the year fondly remembered as the one where they won literally everything. Counterclockwise from bottom left, the figures, I'm almost certain, are Alves, Eto'o, Bojan, Messi, and Xavi. Sigh...good times, good times.