...but apparently, "He just wouldn't listen." So here's Monica smiling in a way that says - through gritted teeth - "Take the picture already...and then get that camera and other breakables as far away from your face as possible."I don't have the story on this next one, but the underline is six kinds of ominous, don't you think?
Well, when you combine it with the whole coffin thing, that is.And here's my favorite:
+.+lw+.+text.jpg)
"Come back tomorrow, and we'll celebrate our second."Personally I find this hilarious - but then I also think it's fun to introduce John at parties as "My first husband, John." Keeps him on his toes.*
Photography Tip of the Day: Unless you want people to think you topped your cake with stewed prunes, you might want to rethink photographing those glazed strawberries in black and white. Unless of course they ARE stewed prunes, at which point photography should be the least of your concerns. [shudder]
Today's Wrecks brought to you by: Monica B., Meghan R., & Anony M.. Thanks, guys!
*Love you, Sweetie!
- Related Wreckage: Mixed Signals
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140 comments | Post a Comment
I love introducing my wife with, "This is my first wife, Katie."
It's a family tradition.
My guess is that the person ordering the first one is a fan of the comedian Patton Oswald. Listen to his piece on Carvel Ice Cream cakes and you'll get it. I adore him, and if my husband had gotten me that cake, I would not have been able to stop laughing.
My husband wanted to be a Dentist when we were in college, and I had a friend's mom tell me "It's great to be the first wife of a Doctor"...what an assumption!!
WV: ullyzerv. As the first wife of a doctor, ullyzerv all the alimony he can afford.
I didn't realize that the last one was a black & white photo until I read the comments. I was sitting here trying to figure out how they got the strawberries black! Duh!
mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com
Thanks for asking my question of whether that last cake was photographed in black and white. I was getting worried... And yes, the "your" underlining on that coffin pic is, erm, concerning...I would have that cake tested first.
FIRST COMMENT! WOOT
Hopefully that second cake was for someone starting a career in undertaking or opening a new funeral home?? Hopefully :)
Thanks for the photography tip, because I DID think those were prunes adorning that cake.
Why do I have the impression Monica's husband is going to be sleeping on the couch for a while? ;)
Is that whale cake supposed to be a copy of Fudgie the Whale from Carvel Ice Cream Stores? Or does Carvel still exist and it's the real thing? Kate
hee hee..
stewed prunes!
hee hee
first husband!
awesome post.
Oh. Strawberries. Is THAT what they are? Thanks for clearing that up.
Ironically enough- my dad could use that third cake. He remarried his first wife, and they did celebrate their "first" marriage with an engagement party for their "second" marriage. *gag*
WV: ephie- I think this whole marriage thing is kind of ephie...
The whale of a wife cake is great-direct homage to the Simpsons! I would have loved to get a cake like that!!!
The whale cake is from The Simpsons, Homer got it for Marge when they had their wedding. And I can't believe I remember that.
Not to be picky, but if you're going to call your wife a whale on a cake, at least make it a big cake and make it look edible... the bushy eyebrows are unappetizing, and the whale is so small it's almost saying "you wish you were a whale but you're just a fish pretending to be a whale, wife"
>snicker<
Firt Comment! :)
First one's a Simpsons reference.
I'm pretty sure that "To A Whale of a Wife" is a reference to the wedding cake Homer got a pregnant Marge on The Simpsons.
OK, so, to be fair to the husband in the first one, that's a Carvel Fudgy the Whale cake, and they used to have an ad campaign for Father's Day that said, "A Whale of a Cake for a Whale of a Dad."
Which, come to think of it, wasn't exactly complimentary to Dad.
Nevermind.
Ha. That's funny that you put in the comment about the b&w photography. I didn't even think of that. I was thinking it was sad that their first marriage (anniversary?) cake was iced in the death colors of black and gray.
ha ha I always joke about my husband being a "GREAT first husband." Great minds!
Lol, your first husband, John. I love it!
OK, on the whale cake, my theory is that they are both Simpson fans, and this is a little inside joke (possibly others before me have spotted it already, so apologies if this is repetitive), and about the second, I'll say Mandy's just landed a job at a funeral parlor... at least that's what I want to think. Actually, I'm weird and twisted enough that I'd be delighted to get a coffin cake from somebody who knows me well.
Well, the first one could be a reference to the Simpsons; I believe Homer and Marge's wedding cake looked just like that. If that was the case, I would have to refrain from committing violence upon my boyfriend's person if he gave me that cake. Otherwise.....Shred him.
The Whale of a Wife thing is a reference to a Simpson's episode, so it was probably meant as a joke.
Do you think they served that coffin cake laughing maniacally, or they got Vincent Price to appear at the party?
WV- shabilly The coffin cake, however inappropriate to us, was not shabilly done.
I had a friend who always introduced "my first wife, Betty Lou." She remained is first wife for over 60 years, until his death, and still likes to refer to herself that way sometimes.
Now, we have Fudgie the Whale as a constant birthday treat at our house, but I think if anyone gave me a Fudgie cake with THAT inscription on it, they would get their face slapped clean off their head.
Many years ago I specifically asked my husband to get me a Fudgie the Whale cake with that same inscription..."To a Whale of a Wife." The Carvel guy tried to talk him out of it. I thought it was hilarious. That was my first husband, by the way, but the cake had nothing to do with the divorce!
WV: PsOMadge--My friend Madge who has psoriasis, not my friend Madge who doesn't
C3,
That's awesome. I hope I can be Jen's first husband for 60 years but I'd probably have to give up steak burritos*. MMMMMMM
john (the hubby of Jen)
* Ya know. 'Cause my arteries are gonna slam shut and I would die.
This has been a translation for the comment impaired. In case of an actual emergency, someone would slap you, shake you vigorously by the shoulders and sarcastically scream at you "REALLY!?!?!"
The whale cake is in reference to the Simpson's episode where Marge and Homer get married. That is the cake that Homer gets for Marge who is by the way, pregnant.
Is the first cake a wreck considering the bakery tried to talk the husband out of buying it?
My guess for the coffin cake is that Mandy just finished her degree in mortuary science.
it seems to me that the coffin cake might be for someone who just became certified as an undertaker
That coffin cake is a first...(and maybe a "last" for person/persons)...
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh I didn't realise that cake was photographed in B&W XD But it gave me a great idea for a greyscale cake!
My mom used to date a guy who introduced her as his future ex-wife. He's the same guy who sent her flowers at work - COD.
Hilarious! But what's wrong with stewed prunes on a cake? Am I the only one to actually like the things?
Ha Ha Ha! That was hilarious!!!! At first I didn’t realize the picture was in black and white but than when you said something I started cracking up!
Ha Ha Ha!
Sarah
i dont care if the whale cake was a joke about the simpsons or not; if my husband gave that to me hed be sleeping on the couch for a week!!
can you tell i just woke up though, i realy thought that the first marrige cake was black roses and gray icing.
like a goth wedding or something.
oh well..
Lol :P Pretty awesome cakes.
I'm guessing that coffin one is for someone who just opened a funeral home or maybe just became an undertaker? Still...rather...um...morbid.
As for the second cake, I sincerely hope that Mandy is going into the casket-making business or just became a mortician. Please let it be that!!
So funny! I like to allude to all of my future husbands. I hope to be like Elizabeth Taylor!
I'm guessing I'm the only one who thought that the "First Marraige" sounded rather presidential. ;p
WV: antis-the antis on the last post, not this one.
If someone got me a Fudgie the Whale cake, I wouldn't care what was written on it. Those cakes are delicious. : D
The coffin one actually makes sense for me as a French native: what y'all call a Hen's nigtht (party for the future bride and her friends) is here "l'enterrement de vie de jeune fille" (burial of the life as a maiden).
The whale cake also appears to be a Fudgie the Whale cake, where they are commonly advertised as Father's Day cakes with the inscription "To a Whale of a Dad". "Whale of a wife" may play off of that, even from the Simpsons.
That coffin lid is all wrong... should be the same shape as the top of the coffin.
Kelly
This has nothing to do with saving whales or marriages - I just wanted to let you know I'm coming to Orlando (to see your barf bag) and I'm having a heckuva time coming up with a cupcake design for the contest. Everything I've thought of so far, while hilarious, is either completely obscene or grossly offensive. Curse you, Borders, for being family friendly! Back to the drawing board...
I'm sure you've gotten this a hundred times (and I'm at work and in a rush so I can't read all the comments, sadly) but I'm hoping that first cake is a reference to The Simpsons. Homer buys Marge a cake like that in one of the tellings of their wedding story.
The only way I think of that would make that coffin cake appropriorate would be if Mandy, as someone else has mentioned, just finished mortuary school. Or just became a vampire.
Also, the whale cake, in design and inscription, is what Homer Simpson gave Marge after their marriage in a casino chapel, saying something about a "first class wedding reception" as he put it down on a picnic table. I've been really quite shocked lately, that a blog that is certainly part of pop culture seems to be so completely ignorant as to the rest of it.
Maybe Mandy got a role on "True Blood"
I notice he gave his wife a butterknife to cut it with...probably a smart move.
@ Emily at 12:03...I guess we all have better things to do than keep up with every blessed episode of what you deem to be pop culture. I've seen my share of the Simpsons but had never seen the marraige episode. I guess that's what we have you for though :)
Stewed prunes. Nothing sounds more like a party than that!
My friend and his wife had settled on naming their unborn son Jonah, until my friend was stupid enough to say "you know, because he's in the belly of the whale!" to his hugely pregnant wife. I almost died laughing!
@ tencats/Kelly:
Yay! I'm glad I'm not the only one bothered by the fact that the coffin lid is is the wrong shape! And also not flat.
That last one reminds me of something that happened to me when I was engaged to my now-husband, 10 years ago. My boss's cousin (quite a character) was visiting and I was giddily recounting the wedding prep we had done over the weekend. The cousin said to me, "Oh, you're engaged? How nice! Is this your first?" I just about fell on the floor! I was 24! I was like, um, YEAH!! To this day, he remains my first and only. Let's hope it stays that way! LOL
LOl I have seen a lot of Simpsons episodes and I didnt reconize that cake till I read the comments so not everyone knows everything. I know a lil about a lot, and a lot about a lil!!
Now I think the coffin cake is for someone just got divorced!!!!
Emily's comment (Jonah) had me laughing harder than the cakes! (The cakes had me laughing, too.)
at first glance I thought those glazed strawberries were frosting rats and their leaves little tails.
I would think the coffin cake would be for someone coming out of mortician's school.
Also, what does the WV- mean? Where people use made-up words in sentences?
As soon as I read that Whale cake, my Hubs would be wearing it !
Learning about the Fudgie the Whale Cake from Carvel made me need to do some yummy research. And then I found the Cookie Puss cake underneath Fudgie. It scared the putrid prunes right out of me!
Have a look here!
My husband and I jokingly refer to each other as "my favorite husband/wife" (this is our first- and planning on only- marriage)
Thanks for the laughs!
I'm pretty sure that first cake is supposed to be Epcot.
I'm glad you mentioned that the last photo was black & white. I thought it was just some very poor cake color choices!!
I'm sure I'm not the first today to say this, but the first cake is a classic Carvel cake: Fudgie the Whale (for a whale of a dad - it's a father's day cake, tradionally). Fudgie is in good company with Cookie Puss (who the Beastie Boys rap about), Cookie O'puss, and the Santa cake (the Fudgie pan turned sideways).
While these cakes are sort of wrecky, they are not wrecks. They are an institution for anyone raised on the east coast. Plus they are ice cream and have chocolate crunchies in them. Nothing wrecky there.
And remember, Wednesday is Sundae at Carvel!
Whoah, Emily @ 12:03, the gloves come off when I miss a Simpsons reference, huh? Yeesh.
And in my (meager) defense, Monica never mentioned anything about the Simpsons or the cake being an inside joke. Maybe the husband meant it as such and she didn't get it? Heh, that *would* be rather awkward. :)
The "first husband" reminds me of one of my friends, who liked to annoy her mom by introducing her parents (who have been married for 30 or so years, and never to anyone else) as "this is my mom, and this is her husband, Jim", as if her real Dad was her step-father.
The whale cake was from the episode of The Simpsons where Milhouse's parents divorce and Homer worries that Marge will do the same (it's from season eight and the episode is called "A Milhouse Divided).
The scene was a flashback to the part from season three's "I Married Marge" where Homer and Marge get married at that quickie wedding chapel after Homer knocks up Marge at the golf course (the actual scene with the whale cake wasn't on "I Married Marge,"; it was just a new scene they added for "A Milhouse Divided").
This is for Whit:
The WV is indeed a made up definition/sentence for the word verification needed to send a comment. Hilarity can ensue. :)
wv: guesmo: I guesmo color is needed for the last cake.
lol. "My first husband" When I get married, I'm going to do that.
When I was dating my now ex-husband, he introduced me to his parents as his "future ex-wife." He seemed to think it was hilarious.
The marriage only lasted a little over a year. (To my defense, I was 22 and stupid.)
My mom introduces me to people as "my daughter from my first marriage". She's only been married once - for 39 years. I've actually had people turn to me and say "Oh, Ray isn't your Dad?" Yes, actually, he is. LOL
I told my boyfriend that he HAS to get me a "whale of a wife" cake. Simpsons FTW!!!
My hubby and I always joke about who will be our second spouse-usually celebrities so completely far fetched.
And he got me a "to a whale of a wife" Fudgie the Whale ice Cream Cake on my 30th. Unlike the sweet girl in the photo, I was quite pleased! LOL
A Whale...seriously? She could always return the favor and give him a donkey cake that reads, "to one donkey of a "first" husband."
Love the whale/Simpsons one. Hubby said he was going to get me one of those one day.
oh, is that what those are on the last one, strawberries? To be completely honest, I am not feeling very observant, and I thought the cake was in black and white and gray icing and that those were just big blobs of icing.
In regards to that last cake, it reminds me of an anniversary card my husband once got me that said...
TO ONE I LOVE
To which I replied, what is that??? One of many??? Lesson learned, now he only gets me cards that say "To THE one I love!"
WV: Paryph...I better be the only one you love or you're gonna get a paryph knuckle sandwiches!
To all the wanna-bes out there...The "Whale of a Wife" cake was indeed featured in an early episode of The Simpsons. However, its appearance was inspired by, as someone else mentioned, the Carvel ice cream cake portraying Fudgy the Whale. The joke was it was horrible for a Father's Day cake, to begin with, let alone for a wedding cake directing what could be construed as an insult to your new wife's physique. And yes, the Simpsons parody came long before Patton Oswald's ripping on Carvel. L2 pop culture people. Really. You'd think camp wasn't cool or something.
...And no, I don't think a Simpsons reference can be considered an "in-joke", Maggiethecat. Nice try, though.
@Emily 12:03 - Holy cow. She's got Dr. Who, Harry Potter, Star Wars, and god knows what else under her belt and you get snippy because she missed a Simpsons reference? Aren't we being a tad bit critical?
I'm going to start introducing my husband that way. Love it.
On the bright side, the grammar on the coffin cake is FABULOUS!
For some reason, my first comment didn't make it through (I'm certain I got the WV right, though. Weird.)
Anyway, as I am strictly an anti-Simpsons fan (can't stand the show, although my husband loves it), I didn't make any kind of Simpsons connection with the first cake.
In fact, the first thing I thought of was the idiom "a whale of a time." While I do agree that it's kind of inappropriate to give a whale cake to your wife (unless you have an inside joke), I just figured that her husband really enjoys spending time with his wife and that he thinks she's a lot of fun.
Also, since she doesn't particularly look pregnant in the photo (although it is kind of hard to tell from the angle), if it was a Simpsons reference, wouldn't it have been more appropriate if she was?
Personally, I think it's a disturbing sign of the times if we're joking about "starter" marriages at parties. o.o
As for the first cake, it's only REALLY offensive if harpoons are mentioned. ^_^;
PS: The Simpsons' Whale of a Wife episode was in 1997, and MY Whale of a Wife cake was in the 1980s.
WV: amptooki--Yoda confessing to the theft of band equipment
I think the fact they used B&W photography on that last cake makes it even wreckier than it would be otherwise. That's just NOT an appetizing look.
re:yesterday's post -
Last night I went to the grocery store and checked out the bakery to see if the giant ant toppers really were a trend and sure enough, EVERY cake AND cupcake pack had those giant ants all over them! The cupcakes had a watermelon deco pick to go with at least but still. I wish I was able to get a picture.
I thought the last cake was an ode to "one bonbon is poison."
One of my friends' friend wanted me to make a 3D whale( the Mom) and a baby whale on the side for our mutual friend's baby shower.
She was utterly surprised when I refused. LoL
subtext of cw2: "it's *your* funeral."
The first photo reminded me of a birthday cake we got for my late grandfather some 21+ years ago. He was a huge ice cream fan. He was turning 70-something, and it said, "Happy Birthday to a Whale of a Dad," and was quickly inhaled. I remember little else about it...but I agree, a whale of a wife would not go over as well.
Shannon
@Whit.. regarding WV and silly phrases:
You have to type a word verification to submit your comment. Phonetically use that word in a sentence.
My word is manter... It don't manter if you know what you're doing, the bakery will still hire you as a Wreckorator.
Right before our wedding my mother-in-law threw a huge party for her grandchild. Everything, and I mean everything, was labeled with "Aiden's First Birthday." She decorated for our wedding and our joke was that everything was going to say "Jon's First Wedding."
Oh! Oh! I know what the coffin cake is all about!
Remember the SIMPSONS episode in which Marge discovers that Homer is having an affair with ...ah...that girl...name of Florence Honeydew. Anyway--Marge sends that coffin cake to the floozy. Oh, and she had put poison in it. Yeah. The tramp was really stupid; she actually ate the cake without even knowing who had sent it . Then she died.
I love that episode.
(Season X, episode D18,007--as I'm sure EVERYONE who is ANYONEalready knows.)
Love that last cake. My husband does that too... introduces me as his first wife. I usually have some snarky response like "Not for long if you keep that up." He just smiles as if to say "You're not going anywhere and I know it." Ha.
Love your site...
When we were younger and misbehaved my mother would always explain that we were her husband's children from his first marriage. She would refrain from saying that she was his first wife.
In Shakespeare's time "stewed prune" could also mean "whore". So yeah, whole new level there.
Oh. I thought those were prunes. Ick.
The guy who bought the whale cake outta be beat. LOL
~Amy
Oh, oh, oh!!! I love the "this is Phil, my first husband!" Going to copy that!!
Where is the test taster for the coffin cake? I'd be worried about poison.
HAHAHAHAH!!!!!
To funny!
*Lucia
I used to send flowers to my husband at work on VAlentine's Day and sign it Your Other Wife.
It drove the staff there crazy.
I just thought it was a sad cake with grey frosting script and lumps o' coal as decoration, since it sounded like they might be looking forward to their 2nd or 3rd...marriage instead.
hahaha! Way to go, Monica's husband. *lol*
I was trying to figure out what those nasty black blobs were. Thanks for clearing that up.
i thought the strawberries were perhaps lumps of coal
My husband bought me the Fudgie the Whale Cake for a birthday (at my request) and was too embarrassed to have them write "to a whale of a wife" on it, so he did it himself. And yes, I asked for that too because of the Simpson episode. Because I thought it was hilarious. One of my favorite b-day cakes!
I know a couple that's been married 40 years and she always introduces him as her "First Husband"!
thanks lisadh and julie! very funny now that i know what people are doing.
"To A Whale of a Wife" is the cake that Homer got Marge on "The Simpsons" in a flashback to their shotgun 'Elvis chapel' wedding while she was heavily pregnant.
WV: paniz - as in, "paniz what I would use to hit my fiance on the head if he ever got me that cake while not pregnant"
These are hilarious. They're an excellent example of wrecks that are otherwise quite well done, but make you wonder what on earth the person who ordered them was thinking.
Also, I never would have known those were strawberries (or that it was a black and white photo) if you hadn't told me. I was wondering if they were supposed to be lumps of coal or something.
Anonymous @1:11 PM said I'm pretty sure that first cake is supposed to be Epcot.
No, it's Epcot Center. Jeez, don't you people know anything?! :P
Stewed prunes...CLASSIC!
The first cake is a Simpson's allusion, I believe. Still...funny!
ME
I had a friend who was really struggling with a big scary birthday (the kind that ends in "0"). His sense of humor was such that it was easier on him to have friends mourn the end of his youth--complete with black suits, flower arrangements, and a coffin-shaped cake and beer cooler--than a more conventional birthday party.
Kate -
That was a Fudgie the Whale cake. He drove an hour each way to get it.
For the record, I thought it was hilarious. The year he gave it to me, I had lost over 50 lbs. Had he given it to me the previous year though...
Monica B.
The Simpsons episode actually aired 4 years after that picture was taken. Maybe I deserve royalties!
Actually the whole thing started with Carvel. It was traditionally a Father's Day cake that said, "To a Whale of a Dad."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fudgie_the_Whale
Monica B.
PS That whale meat was delicious!
The whale cake gives a whole new meaning to "fail whale". - Lauren
Hmm, what if those really are stewed prunes? If the wedding was celebrated at a nursing home, then the cake is utterly hilarious.
To A Whale of a Wife
is actually a Simpsons joke. It's the wedding cake Homer bought for Marge for their roadside wedding reception.
Why do I know this?
I am not a busy girl.
I believe the "To A Whale of a Wife" sentiment is an ode to "The Simpsons" Homer got Marge the same cake on the night of their wedding. Also, That is a Fudgie the Whale and carvel stores do still exist
Isn't that the same whale from the "Syphilis Blows" cake on the "Story of Amber" post?
I always see that Fudgy the Whale cake from Carvel and make fun of it, so we got it for my dad for his birthday and had them write "To a whale of a dad" as a joke.
I had a great-uncle who always introduced his wife as "my current wife." They were married 55 years and she was always his "current" wife.
Love that.
Oh my gosh, that is awesome!! I am so going to introduce my husband that way now! Makes up for the gazillion times my husband has said "Melody is my 2nd wife. I thank God everyday my first marriage didn't work out." Makes me feel like a homewrecker (I wasn't).
That first cake reminds me of the time when my husband got me a cake with a dead pig on it. What was really funny was his trying to talk the decorators into actually MAKING the dead pig cake.
My parents could use the "First Marriage" cake. They married and divorced (and Mom left the country). They eventually got back together and then I showed up.
I would SO accept the "Whale of a Wife" cake because it's from one of my favorite Simpsons episodes! And I will say that the wreck in question is a pretty dead-on recreation of the cake in the episode...the only thing that's off is the color (it should be blue).
Mandy must be a Twilight fan. Some poor sucker (heh heh) covered in glittery white pancake makeup is about to jump out of that cake.
The coffin cake could be congratulating someone on the recent graduation from mortuary school.
I made this for my friend who specifically requested it, with cheezy writing too...
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3377/3579926929_3c6c2a3587.jpg
HOLY CRAP! ITS FUDGEY THE WHALE!!!! WHERE DO YOU GET ONE OF THOSE NOWADAYS???????? HOLY CRAP!!!!! I WANT THAT! I WANT TO BE A "WHALE OF A NINJA!" :)
The first one may or may not play off of the Simpsons or a Carvel commercial, but Monica's expression belies such theories.
"I'm a whale, am I?! Chow down, dude -- this one's all for you!"
Her husband was seen a short time later, wearing a whale cake on his face and muttering, "Why didn't I listen to the decorator? Why??"
Jeeze people!
To a whale of a wife is a Simpsons reference! That cake is pure win! That's the cake Homer got Marge when they eloped because it's all they had, except the one on the show was blue.
CatTrampoline said...
the date on this is 2009. It is 2011 and Carvel Ice Cream is STILL selling these things. They sent out advertising coupons for "Whale of a Dad" Father's Day cakes. In Texas, many men are plus-sized and we were all laughing and suggesting sending that one in to Cakewrecks.
Ripley says:
I thought that the person with the coffin cae waas being congratulated for completing mortuary school!