Monday, June 7, 2010

If the Shoe Fits...

Monday, June 7, 2010

...it'll be a miracle.


After our purse and shoe Sweets the other week, I thought you guys might like to see the shoe on the other foot, so to speak.

Because, yes, the actual foot IS included:

Ah, if only they'd stopped at the boxes...


I've heard of shoes having a square-toe before, but this is ridiculous:


I'd like to pump this baker for more information: does s/he like a lot of sole? Or was the cake knife too slippery? Or, was s/he just being mulish because the order was wedged into a busy work day?


At least this next Wreckerator had the decency to put "cowboy" in quotes:

YeeeeHAW! Head 'em up and boot 'em out, "cowboy!"

Man, if only every CCC could get the boot...am I right, guys? Huh? Yuckyuckyuck!


A pair of flip-flops, or an anti-tobacco ad? You be the judge:

Wow, those lungs are positively laced with brown goo.


(Let's take a moment to bask in the glory of that last pun. C'mon. "Laced?" Dude, I am smokin' today.)


Or perhaps they have... [dramatic voice] DISCO FEVER!!

Well, if ever a fever could be transmitted visually, this would be the platform to launch it.

Anyone else feeling a bit trippy looking at this thing? Or is that just the old potato salad talking? (You know how chatty the German kind can get.)


Hm? What's that? You think it could be worse?

Yeah, you're probably right.

In fact...

Oh, wow. Yes, you are most definitely right:



Um.

Is it just me, or is that goldfish being a total heel?


Margaret B., Stephanie A., Teri S., Dawn, Elizabeth D., Carly S., & Jenna B., thanks for the kicks.
Casey said...

I swear I thought number 4 was rotten strawberries until I read your comments. lol!

Amy said...

I thought the flip flops were a watermelon!

Karen said...

wasn't there a scene in "Im Gonna Git You Sucka" that had a guy walking around in platforms with fishbowls in the soles? I shudder to think that that might have inspired a cake at all, let alone the last one...

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that last one is a shoe?
I see a suggestion of piano keys at the very bottom.
A musical...what?
Or if I squint, I see the outlines of a jetski.
Best things are your puns.
mocking

Kayleen the Violinist said...

What the "H" does a goldfish have to do with a shoe?
And, did you see the Glee cast version of "Safety Dance" ... AWESOME!!! :)

joyce said...

eewww. I vote lungs. flip flops? no. couldn't be. eewww.

duffylou said...

Your puns had me rolling today. You were on fire!

You were a shoe in for making my morning.

Keeley said...

I know, that first shoe represents the old Chinese foot-binding tradition, which deforms the foot into...something resembling THAT.

The first platform is way weird--I knew that fad would never last (shoemaker's joke).

The last one (oops!) looks more like a bumper car from the fair than it does a shoe.

critter42 said...

Karen - while the shoes in "Sucka" were done for comedic effect, they DID sell them "for reals" in the 70s *shudder*.

Oh and thanks guys for the earworm LOL...
"You can dance if you want to..." AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!

Pampered Recipes said...

These boots were made for walkin! One of these days...you might get stuck with a cake shoe

6 Die said...

4 really does look like rotten strawberries...great collection of cakes fit for a foot! lol

Anonymous said...

Yeah, those goldfish shoes were apparently trendy in the 70's. See here: http://blogofbad.wordpress.com/2009/05/11/bad-shoes-%E2%80%93-goldfish-shoes/

For those who want to relive the discolicious trend, they now make versions with fake goldfish instead of the real thing, thank goodness.

Anonymous said...

OMG--awesome puns today!

what a white foot. are we sure this misshapen thing isn't wearing a sock with the shoe? how tacky!

#2: for pete's sake! there's a shoe sample there to use as a model and they STILL made this shape? and then trimmed it with gold ribbon? ick!

it looks like 3/4 of a 3/4 sleeved shirt.

If the birthday recipient is getting a mercedes, shouldn't it be shaped like a car? *smirk*


#3: pink, yellow and brown? ew. And why are the shoes oozing? or are those yellow dreadlocks? WTH?

#4: oh, that was supposed to be a boot? i thought we were back to phallic cakes. there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with that heel.

#5 "anti-tobacco ad!" LOL I thought it was watermelon or mutant ladybugs (not that they're pink or have antennae normally). sick lungs are DEFINITELY funnier. as cake,that is. they could probably be kidneys, too. with cysts?

#6 is there masking tape inside the shoe??

#7: WHY is there a goldfish in a jar for the heel? the front looks like a little sneaker-like. or like a beached boat.

40-year-old virgin: do you remember the boots the weird guy at the ebay store wanted to buy? they had fish in the heels.... where did this "fashion" statement come from? and where's PETA complaining about cruelty to fish?

Melinda said...

Oh my. There are no words. These are all just SO BAD!

Fanboy Wife said...

I take it all of these cakes cake from barefoot bakers, right?

Gary said...

I guess baker #2 just ran out of room on the board before getting the front end of the shoe in there. But putting a model shoe next to the wreck so you could confirm how UNLIKE a shoe it is was a bad move.

Baker #3 is obviously working without ever having seen a cowboy boot. Maybe we should chip in and mail him/her one.

As for the one with the live fish in it ... I'm speechless.
... But stay tuned. My next cake is going to have a puppy, a cat, an iguana, a ferret, and a heron in it, all alive, in a big cage made of fondant.

No, it's not. I just made that up.

Anonymous said...

I am truly basking in the glory of all the puns today. Aaaahhhhhhh

Erin said...

haha! I didn't even see the goldfish in the heel until I read the comments. oh my. that's so odd.

Anonymous said...

I take back everything I ever said about finding shoe cakes boring!!! And I apologize, too. I LOVE THESE SHOE CAKES! In fact, shoe cakes are my new favorite!

The last one might be something other than a shoe, though. I'm thinking it's a "Still Life of Breakfast Table on a busy morning", there's the goldfish in a jar, all ready to go to school for show and tell, the uneaten stack of French toast, and puffy travel cover for a curling iron tossed atop it all. Go ahead, put your foot in there if you must. Lily

Liz said...

I thought number 4 was a pair of big pink spotted slugs with brown antennae slithering over a green lawn...

ecuakim said...

Hey I saw this on Bakerella and thought of you: http://www.bakerella.com/they-got-me/

Isabella said...

I thought the first one was an example of Chinese foot binding too.

The flip flops...again, deformed strawberries. Actually, I thought the guy ran out of green icing and figured he had enough chocolate left over so why not do the stems in that?

The last one: That poor gold fish! To be forever encased in an attempt at the fashion faux-pau that was the 1970's and to be, what probably was meant to be, a disco ball heal. So sad and very ungroovy baby...wait did they still say that then?

Jennifer said...

I don't think I would have ever guessed that last one was a shoe of any kind!

sendingtheclowns said...

We hereby serve notice that, on behalf of our clients, Dior and Prada, legal action is being persued against the *bakeries* responsible for using our clients' prestigious names in conjunction with an object that is --while "theoretically" a shoe, and also "theoretically" a cake--nevertheless absolute cause for slander and libel.
Thank you, and see you in court.
Dewey, Cheatam & Howe, Attorneys at Law

thisamericantourist said...

Clearly, that first cake is campaigning for the triumphant (and horrifying) return of Chinese foot binding. Or shoes on hooves, because no normal foot has ever been so...trapezoidal.

And I thought those flip flops looked like the saddest strawberries in the world.

Suzanne said...

Seriously thought the last one was a whale. A blue whale. Guess it was fishy in a different way.

wv: uparti. Can uparti in those shoes? Kirsty MacColl would say "I don't think so".

Little Wonder said...

I am a mature, reasonable dignified adult, but I'm Gonna Get You Sucka is one of my favorite movies although I would never admit it. The scene in that movie is hysterical - the jailed former "Pimp of the Year" reminisces about his former glory then is released to jeers over his clothes. He wear the shoes with the goldfish in them, but they break.

I would so love that cake.

Anonymous said...

Am ashamed to admit I thought the 'flip flops' were a derrière in a thong....oops!

Stephanie said...

i still don't see a shoe in the last one .... something is fishy there...

Liz said...

That last one is (hopefully) an ode to Disco Stu.

http://www.fanpop.com/images/polls/15137_88_100.jpg

Mary Connealy said...

This totally CLOGged up my internet today.

(work with me, people)

JamesterCK said...

The flip flops could also be diseased kidneys. Yeah, not sure which is worse.

Scarlett Robyn said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
OMG these cakes were HILARIOUS, but when your comments were added to them- I was crying with laughter!!

knitorpurl said...

Wow, who knew that people wanted to eat shoes in the first place. But apparently they do- just maybe not these particular ones.

Jen, you really stepped up with the puns today!

Anonymous said...

How some some people get baking jobs?

Tricia L said...

Well, this is the first time that you had to tell me what I was looking at in every photo except the first. And the only reason I figured out the first one was the writing on the boxes.

The flipflops one is wrong on so many levels. It looks like pizza crust with green icing that is thicker than the crust. It doesn't even look like a giant cookie. Never, ever would have guessed flipflops.

Excuse me, but I have to go lie down now.

wv: tablogi - Jen's new blog about tables.

corianne said...

the cowboy boot looked more like a... hookah...to me than anything.

It took me a second to figure out why the anti-smoking cake was included in these shoes.

And fashion faux pas or not, eating a cake that's been decorated around a life fish is just...icky.

wv: extas Will the wreckorators of these shoe cakes please extas the building?

A J said...

Did anyone else notice the totally forgotten tiny plastic shoe on the second one?

lisa said...

I think that cowboy boot decorater has been practicing hammers and got a little confused

Sarah Rosenzweig said...

Huh... that last one is a shoe?? I could swear that's a tin of sardines on a stack of sliced bread.

Anonymous said...

Okay, is the flip flop thing supposed to be a cake or flatbread? It kinda looks like a moldy tortilla with something grown in a petri dish melting on top. That "cake" makes me very sad...on the other, uh, foot, we have Jen's commentary, which is HI-larious! Thanks!

Andrea

Anonymous said...

Only the puns were funny in this bunch. This is the ugliest pile of cake "stuff" I have ever seen. Occasionally I think someone is salting the mine with contrived silliness, but nobody could deliberately do anything as bad as these. I think you should be publishing the names of the bakers/bakeries in these cases. Maybe with no comments :-). Norine

vjhreeves said...

You know, it's not like shoes and flip flops aren't readily available to use as reference.

Maureen said...

I don't see flip flops or lungs I see a rashy butt.

Sofia L said...

I agree with Casey; I thought the flip-flop lungs were a bad imitation of strawberries!!! :D

MigratingCoconut said...

I thought the flip flop cake was a weird butterfly at first.

Allison said...

ROFL! The puns had me giggling here the whole way through...thanks for the laugh (as usual)!

And I thought the flip flops were strawberries...

sendingtheclowns said...

To be Frank (like to change my name every now & then), I have to say that I don't see a disco-feverish shoe with the pink/blue thing.
I see a shoddy thing that I would title,
"Nursing Home Slipper Meets Bridge Pylon."
There is NO WAY an actual human could wear something in that shape--it's FLAT and angled so that a human foot would be on its toes--there's no place for the ball of the foot!!!!!
I need to calm down; at least no one has to wear it because it's not a real shoe...
...sad enough that someone might be expected to eat it. =^>.<^=

Shayna said...

That white one for Mecedes even has a plastic shoe in the corner in case you don't know what a high heel looks like. You're think the wreckorator could stop and compare.

MissNay said...

@Karen,I remember that! I thought they were the coolest shoes in the world until they broke and the fish were out of water. I cried for hours over those poor fish. I was four...
These cakes are all literally painful and embarrassing to look at but the boot one really takes the cake. I honestly had no friggin clue what is was even with the "cowboy". I had actually temporarily forgotten that cowboy boots existed. Rough. Just rough rough rough.

Lori said...

Why is there a corset laced up on a tree trunk? Oh, wait...that's supposed to be a "cowboy" boot. Wow. There is no limit to the ugly.

Elizabeth said...

The last one would make a great bumper car if that's what they had been going for!

Jenn said...

Laaaaugh!

I was thinking as I scrolled to the 'disco fever' one, "Man, they forgot the fish in the heel like in I'm
Gonna Git you Sucka!" but then I scrolled down a bit farther and there it was!

Ingeborg said...

Oh man, the flip flop cake is terrible. My first thought was 'Omg, giant spiders coming out of strawberries!' And then I remembered that the theme was shoes, so I squinted. And then turned my head sideways. And then shook my head in disbelief.

Barb said...

Hilarious. The flip flops were my favorite. My goodness... Great comments on all of those.

JCass said...

I totally thought the supposed flip flop cake was two separate lady bugs with odd antennae. It wasn't until I read the caption that I understood why it fit into shoe wreckiness!

sambycat said...

maybe that purple-leapord thingy was made by a peewee herman fan?

~Nikki~ said...

Ok the "flip flops" look more like a germ specimen on a slide that you see through a microscope! UGH



check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Adrieanna said...

The "cowboy" cake looks like a corset with HUGE hips!

tygrr said...

I'm pretty sure that last one is some sort of whale

studiorose said...

Mmmmm...German potato salad.

That is all.

Arlene said...

Arghhhh none of those are shoes.. they have to be someone's acid induced hallucinations. Especially the flip flop aka lung cake.. how I would run out of the room for bug spray if I saw that thing in my house lol.

Anonymous said...

Ew, the flip flops look like big bugs. I'm seeing antennas.

Nonna Beach said...

Those last 2 cakes are copies of shoes previously worn by Elton John !
BTW, I think the had groovy glasses to match !

Darling One said...

I honestly thought the flip flops were some sort of lady bug (?) or butterful until I remembered this post was about shoes.

Timothy said...

No, see, the last one is trying to look like this shoe, or any other shoe with a fish in it.

Timothy said...

Sorry, broken link. http://numbcranium.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/pimp-zebra-fish-shoes-300x283.jpg

Allie said...

Ahhh! The fish boot is the one from 40 year old virgin! Funny!:)

Liutgard of Luxeuil said...

I remember the goldfish shoes- '77ish, I think. I'm not going to say how old I was, except that my mom adamantly refused to let me spend my summer job money of a pair, thereby dooming me to social non-existence! Oh, the horrors! I bought a pair of Famolare Waves instead, wore them all through High school. :-)

Anonymous said...

The disco fever platform... If you take away the heel, you'd have quite a lovely slipper cake :)

Rebecca Grace said...

I LOVE the "lungs." It's like a Surgeon General's No Smoking warning...

Nikki said...

If it hadn't been for the goldfish I actually wouldn't be convinced that the last one was any sort of attempt at a shoe :S.