Monday, June 21, 2010

How We Made Dad Feel Special. Or Just Uncomfortable.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Yesterday we celebrated dads everywhere.

Some of us better than others.

"You're more like number 12."


"And some day I may even take the quotes off."

FUN FACT: Did you know that Wreckerators are legally prohibited from spelling "you're" correctly on Father's Day cakes? It's true:

LESS FUN FACT: I think I just found the poster cake for Awkward Family Cakes.

Or am I the only one who thinks it's weird to tell your dad he's a great catch?


Or that he's a "hole in one?"


Or...well, this?

"Your the Best in US"

[staring wide-eyed]

Um.

[clearing throat] Alrighty, then. Moving on...


Are you keeping tabs on the misspellings? 'Cuz here comes "your" number five!

"Because you're sunny half the time and cold and dark the rest."

See? That analogy TOTALLY works.


Oh, wait! I found the missing "Dad"! See, it obviously swapped places with "Day":

That, or grandpa is a Smurf with a big red nose. Or a Na'vi with a big red nose. Or an Easter Island head. With a big red nose.
Or...well, you get the idea.


Lauren R., Stacy L., Heather G., Nicole J., Ginger P., Chris & Christi E., admit it: "Alkie Smurf" would have been *hilarious.*


TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Arizona, John and I will be at the Tempe Changing Hands bookstore tonight at 7pm! Bring a cupcake version of your favorite Wreck for a chance at fabulous prizes, fame, glory, etc. (Be sure to label the plate with your name.) We'll have a fun slide show, free cake, prizes, and lots of laughs - so BE THERE. Wrecky World Domination awaits!

Taylor said...

Whenever I see a name in quotes, I see the person using air quotes and rolling their eyes. That makes this one even funnier. If I said to my father, "Okay, Dad," and used air quotes when I said his name, that would be awesome.

Imagine doing that to your father. Or your kid doing that to you. It's like they're saying, "If that's even your real name, liar."

Emily said...

I see Sam Eagle with a bad cold for that last one.

Wendy said...

Your writing was top notch today! Lots of giggles!

Tricia L said...

You know how they say "It's the thought that counts"? Well, they are wrong if it involves any of these wrecks.

Did break out laughing at your comment about the Easter Island big head, with red tie. That was great.

:Page said...

Why can no one distinguish between your and you're these days?! So sad...

Donna said...

Ok, the last two had me howling! "Your the Best Day" Which day is that? Saturday? Sunday? Won't the other days feel slighted? The poor blue thing looked like it belonged to someone with deformed arms...but maybe Dad is like that....Who knows!

Michelle said...

That last cake is totally a Muppet or a Sesame Street Character just missing the eyes.

Melissa said...

I think wreck #5's creator is Russian - at least, I hope so.

joyce said...

On the fishing-themed cake, I did not see the fish until third pass, as I was so mezmorized by that fishing pole. whoa. such meticulous rings to hold the fishing line, now that I see what it is...

and I hope the kiddos do not choke on the plastic hats on the cupcakes. Nothing says Father's Day like a trip to the emergency room. Our son poked a rock in his ear when he was eight years old. His cousins probably dared him to do it, but we remember that trip on Father's Day sixteen years ago...

Anonymous said...

Some people need glasses and a dictionary

ara marie said...

Wow....these are painful. The "yours", the awkward, inappropriate sayings, the ugly decor.

It's an all-time low.

There obviously needs to be some type of cake editor to help with grammar.

Taylor Lindsay said...

Actually, the last cake reminds me of a Pokemon called Nosepass.

http://pokelibrary.com/images/pokemon/nosepass.jpg

Daniel King said...

The one cake also seemed to say "Dad" your my homo...

This translation lends itself to explaining the quotation marks I guess...

The Boob Nazi said...

My niece used to use air quotes for her aunt's name. She said, "Okay, "ANNA,"" and it was quite possibly the funniest thing ever.

Dennis said...

The last cake looks like a cartoon character I think I have a vague memory of from Captain Kangaroo.

TechyDad said...

Like joyce, I didn't see the fish until a later viewing either. I kept looking at the brown swirl and wondering "what's that poo swirl doing on the Father's Day cake."

Now that I saw the fish I know it's a Father's Day cake for Tony Hayward. The brown isn't a fishing line, it's oil heading towards that fish.

It all makes sense now!

Erin Kelly said...

I could have added to your supply of "Your the Best, Dad!" cakes...
Note to self, never leave cell phone in car when entering a grocery store with a bakery!

WV: comon
Comon, bakers, is that the best you can do??

Anonymous said...

The Best Day cake has such beautiful penmanship. So sad it lacks everything else!

Corey said...

Anyone else read the second one as ' "Dad" your my Homo'?

Anonymous said...

I'm with Page on this one - what really annoys the teacher in me is the baker piping the word 'your' when it should read 'you're'.

The last one resembles baggy, blood stained y-fronts to me (Do you have y-fronts in the US?).

Nothing tells a father he is loved as much as a large streak of poo on a cake.

sevenmarie said...

for "best day" cake I am reminded of Miss Congeniality:

Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": That's a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

so apparently that person's dad is April 25?

Anonymous said...

It's You're not your in every case...

Marge Loch-Wouters said...

I just awarded your blog a "Pertinent Posts " Award because a) it is pertinently impertinent and b) I get a guaranteed ROTFLMAO each and every day. Keep rockin'!

Trevor said...

OMG! "Your the best in us?" Um, wow. Jen, you showed such restraint! I could have said SO much more than that. :)

And no, you AREN'T the only person who thinks that it's a odd thing to think your dad is a great catch. That was the first thing I thought!

Julie said...

I didn't see a fishing pole, I saw some gross ugly slug sort of thing leaving a trail of slime across the cake. How appetizing.


wv: Deant. I deant think you could make wrecks this bad, but I was wrong.

penny said...

And not a single one of those cakes had "YOU'RE" spelled correctly!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Page about people not being able to differentiate between You're and Your! Grrrr!

Anonymous said...

the last cake makes me think of...
a Nosepass! The pokemon. Look it up! xDDD

~Nikki~ said...

Ahhhh that's one of my biggest pet peeves: YOU'RE is you are... YOUR is just your!!!!


check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I see "Your my HerD"

Renee said...

if "Dad" is such a catch, why is there a poop smear on his cake??? lol

does anyone else find plastic fish flotsam on a cake totally unappetizing?

because when i think of eating cake, i don't think, "YUMMY! Dead Fish!!!"

Kathy at Wellness Roadtrip said...

I made a pie this year :)

Anonymous said...

The "Great Catch" cake makes sense if the kids are trying to get their single dad out dating again. It reminds me of that hair dye commercial where the guy's kids say he would "...be a great catch for someone." if only he dyed his hair and didn't look so old. I guess they took it a step further and got him a cake. Poor dad.

Tatersmama said...

The uhhh... fishing pole one scares me. Just sayin'.
Nothing says "I love you Dad" like a big brown turd.

Anonymous said...

If that last one is supposed to be a shirt and tie, then it's like the Gordon Gartrelle shirt on the Cosby Show because that is one wonky collar.

Mags said...

Laughed myself silly over today's post. "Your" the best!

The Dream Police Person said...

It's a good thing my "dad" is more of the brunch on fathers day type.

Anonymous said...

Please, please, please come to Canada to do a book signing so that we wreckie henchpeople north of the border can bask in your glory eh! Did I already say please?

Willow said...

AUUUGHHHH! I was all ready and raring to go tonight, but I've got something I can't duck out of! Jen and John, know I'm totally there and caking out in spirit! Welcome to Arizona! (Sorry about the heat.)

~Christine~

Jo said...

those are hilarious!

actually, the last one (grandpa cake) looks a lot like a muppet to me.

jo said...

maybe "your the best day" refers to a custody agreement....and the kid really doesn't like Mom. Or is buttering up Dad for some cash...you know, by saying his day with Dad is the best day of the week...

Anonymous said...

these cakes suggest some really dysfunctional family situations...

ACM said...

This is the first post in a while to make me laugh til I cried. Excellent.

Naomi said...

I didn't see the #1 on the first cake until my second or third look at it-- I thought it said "No Dad." I then tried to come up with a backstory for it. "Hey Joe, sorry about the whole parthenogenesis thing, but here's a special Father's Day cake just for you!" Or it's a follow-up for this cake.

(WV enextork, but I think it's more impressive that I spelled "parthenogenesis" correctly on the first try.)

C-squared said...

May I just say that I once wrote a letter to my boyfriend, who was in Japan for 2 years, explaining the difference between your & you're! (Obviously we are not together anymore) I ABSOLUTELY HATE when people cannot get their homonyms straight!! How hard is it to remember you're= YOU ARE? Think people! Think!! PLEASE!!! For the LOVE of the English language! How do you expect foreigners to learn our language when most of you don't even know it?!?!?!?!

Arlene said...

I can see why that your a catch cake was only 5.99.. what exactly is dad a catch of? That thing looks like a poo snake.. bleh. Poor dad. I think those wreckerators need to go back to school to learn your and you're again lol.

Gale said...

I needed that laugh tonight. Thanks! (And thanks to the wrecker who made that Navi grandpa on Easter Island cake! It's like the Old Woman young woman picture...only in a more cartoony way).

Jenny said...

HAHAHA your blog is awesome.

"Katie" said...

Thanks so much for coming out to Tempe (AZ) tonight! Y'all were fantastically funny, and we all had a great time!

47of74 said...

What is that supposed to be on the "Dad your a great catch" cake? It sure doesn't look like a fishing rod to me.

Dianne said...

Arizona? Really??? After that whole Christmastime we-are-the-world let's hold hands and solve humanitarian crises plea? Are you from one of the states whose IDs will be honored by the constabulary? Or just hoping that your wealth and good fortune will be so obvious that you don't have to show papers? Maybe the whole selling your soul for the price of a couple of books thing will be OK if you get some funny greencard cakes, or maybe one with a sheriff incarcerating an 'anchor' baby... Or maybe you can get somebody to write this on a big sheet cake:
"The love of one's country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?" -Pablo Casals, cellist, conductor, and composer (1876-1973)

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Dear Dianne,

This is one of the few times on the comment board when I am actually angry. You are a troll in the truest sense of the word.

First of all, if you had bothered to look it up, you would see that Changing Hands is part of the Bycott program for those who don't support the law.

Secondly, regardless of our own politics which we are careful never to mention, we wanted the awesome people of Arizona to be able to go to a fun event, enjoy some cake and laugh a little.

Third, with all the millions and millions of books we sold last night, I might be able to cover the breakfast Jen and I just ate. Maybe you don't realize it but with the San Diego snafu, this little tour of ours is costing us a HUGE amount of money.

And finally, how DARE you belittle the efforts of thousands of people last year to raise money for charity? Cake Wrecks raised over a hundred thousand dollars in 14 days because of the kindness of our readers.

I think you should leave an never come back.

john

Justinian said...

The cookie-cake we bought our dad had "you're" spelled correctly.

Needless to say, I was heartbroken. All I want is a wreck!

stephanie said...

Bwahahahaha. The commentary on the last one had me confused for a minute, then I got it and laughed loud enough for the next few minutes that my daughter asked if I was okay.

WV: matif- These cakes sure do have a nice "matif."

sikki said...

I see one of those little blue birds from the pixar short where they pick on the big gangly blue bird until they pluck his last toe off the telephone wire and they end up featherless. The cute little meanie blue birds. hehe

Anonymous said...

I predict a new niche career: cake editing! Thanks, John and Jen!

One of your (*not* you're) loyal fans from evil Arizona,

Sue

P.S. I'm sorry I couldn't attend your event at Changing Hands!

Craig said...

Nothing says "No #1 Dad" like a CCC that looks like another number. (Tell me those aren't mold spots.)

Dear "Dad"... What guy doesn't want to see 'Dad' in quotes on Father's Day? Gets you right here (points to solar plexus). "A home paternity test kit! Er, is there something I should know?"

So Dad's a great catch. I can't help but hear banjos accompanying that 'compliment'. Part of me wants to know the back story, but the sane part says, 'leave it alone'.

Ditto for the next two. Sometimes the omission of a little word like 'the' can radically alter the meaning of a sentence. "Your['e] the best in *the* US" -- OK, even if it leaves Dad open to competition from other countries. Leave out the second 'the', and it's time to call CPS. Along with having the grammar police pick up the wreckerator.

"Your the best day" sounds like a self-help book written by someone who never mastered that whole 'grammar' thing.

I see 'Happy Father's Dad' as being of a piece with 'Congradulations'. It's a new trend. One that needs to stop. Now. If you have time to pick out a cake, you have time to specify a complete message and make sure same gets onto the cake.

Finally, I also see Sam the Eagle in the last wreck.

Craig said...

You said it, John. Rock on!

robin said...

UGGGH! not one 'your' used correctly! you're! you are! YOU'RE!!!