Or, uh, whatever these things are.
Holographic rabbit ears? I bet those get a lousy reception.
Do not look directly into the eye of Mara!Or, just look at this:
Eek! You know, I'm starting to think maybe shredded coconut isn't the bunny cake cure-all:
Somewhere in that haystack may be the rest of him.
What the...??Are these on food court trays?
And yeah, they look like alien gophers wearing plastic rabbit ears. There's that, too.
[rapid blinking]
Uh...
I'm sorry; those "ears" have robbed me of the capacity for coherent thought. And the pink yo-yo thingies jammed into the jawline? I can't...I mean, I don't...That is to say, I have never...er. Huh.
[puffing out cheeks]
[scratching head]
[tapping fingers]
Uh...
I'm sorry; those "ears" have robbed me of the capacity for coherent thought. And the pink yo-yo thingies jammed into the jawline? I can't...I mean, I don't...That is to say, I have never...er. Huh.
[puffing out cheeks]
[scratching head]
[tapping fingers]
Right. Well, I'm going to wander off aimlessly now, in the hopes of finding something to restore my sanity. The rest of you feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
Ashley M., Sarah F., Anne B., K&J, Gail R., Laura S., & Brooke I., I don't want to tell you a joke that is funny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny.
- Related Wreckage: Passover These Wrecks
Update from John: Apparently, what we took to be food court trays are actually meat trays which I think we all can agree, is sooo much better. And it raises a question: is it even cake or is it some lovely ground chuck slathered in mashed potatoes? The world may never know! (Unless, of course, somebody bought one and ate it. Then we'd probably know. Ya know?)
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139 comments | Post a Comment
One of my favorite posts. These bunnies are hilarious!
Those cakes are pretty bad. However, the Veggietales references are pretty awesome:)
That first one looks really shocked.
And did anyone else notice that it's just half of a round cake set on its side?
Veggie Tales Rocks!
Even worse than food court trays, I think those are meat trays! You know, the kind ground beef comes on... Ew.
The food court trays look like styrofoam meat trays. Who lets the bakery staff near raw meat?
As usual, CW surpassed my expectations! But, when you quoted VeggieTales...Well, you have now officially become the best part of my day. :D
Michelle
Veggie Tales Rock! Love the reference!
Love Veggie Tales!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! I ATE THE BUUUNNNNYYYYYYY!
Veggie-tales ref! Yes!!
In those food-court bunnies, it looks like they have deer antlers.
As I read this morning's post, I kept singing one of Anya's lines from "Once More With Feeling" (The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Musical)...
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.
And what's with all the carrots-?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies, bunnies it must be bunnies!
I thought we weren't supposed to sing the Bunny song anymore.
"... but now I feel sick in the head from the bunny..."
I think that pretty much sums up my reaction to today's Wrecks.
Veggie Tales!!
Those aren't Food Court trays, they are USED GROUND BEEF TRAYS FROM THE BUTCHER SHOP!!! E-Coli-licious!
While these bunnies truly terrify me .... the yellow chicks next to the blue bunny are quite adorable. Ya know, focus on the positive here!
I don't want a tissue when my nose is runny. I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny.
I don't want a tissue when my nose is runny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny!
VEGGIETales for the win!!
Anyway awesomely uh... interesting bunn... curious creatu... yep, I got no words either for that last one...
So, upon seeing the first cake my three year old daughter says, "What the heck is that?!!!" 'Nuf said.
That last one looks like leftover Christmas Elf ears.
I third the theory of the meat trays. I've seen it done before -- and it's especially horrifying with animal-themed cakes. Bunnies soooo deserve better!
I LOVE the Bunny Song!
I think those are Vulcan ears on the last one...
I don't want to play on a day that is sunny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny! (But not one of those bunny abominations)
Love the veggietales reference! I kept seeing Mr. Nezzer dancing in with the weird asparagus backup singers changing colors in the disco ball light! Made my day!
These are the scariest "bunnies" I've ever seen, and that's interpreting "bunny" generously.
I would sing the Bunny Song, but we're not supposed to anymore.
WV: Squin. Even if you squin', these things still don't look like bunnies.
The last one looks like the result of when you mate a Vulcan and a Pokemon...*shudder*
Veggietales FTW!!!!
From my eight-year-old: Those tie-dyed blob things look like they just got teeth pulled and have gauze rolls in their mouths.
I can't believe you knew the VeggieTales song! My son (shhh....he's 10!) is a huge fan of The Bunny Song and other VeggieTales. Also, we like to sit down together and read cakewrecks. I can't wait for him to get up and see this. Awesome! Oh, and John? Thanks (I think) for the meat tray clarification!
Perfect using The Bunny Song!! Love it!!!
...alien gophers WITH BOOBS.
We weren't supposed to sing The Bunny Song anymore, but that was the OLD Bunny Song, the one that said, "The bunny, the bunny, ooh I love the bunny. I don't love my mom or my dad, just the bunny." The song was so popular that the message of the video got lost and they had to go back and rewrite it!
Those bunny cakes, though. Those are something else!
Oh....no words can bring logic to any of these.
But I must agree with Jenniffer - we now know why Anya was terrified of bunnies.
"And it raises a question: is it even cake or is it some lovely ground chuck slathered in mashed potatoes? The world may never know!"
To quote the immortal George Carlin:
IT's MEAT-CAKE!
:D
wv: Epipha - when you come really close to having a moment of enlightenment, but miss
That last one's cheeks actually look like hands he's holding up, saying 'please don't eat me'!!
Meat-tray bunny needs a bra, and the one on the left needs to turn her antlers around.
This post has me wondering if anybody has ever seriously loused up a Bob, Larry, or junior cake.
Then again ... how hard is to mess up tomatoes?
Wait, seeing the ingenuity of some wreckerators, I can't wait to find out!
mumps!
My husband and I thought the alien gophers wearing plastic rabbit ears look my like mutated bunnies with boobs. Scary!
Do you think you could put a link to the Veggietales song in the post. I think a lot of your British fans might not have heard of it. Shocking as I know that must seem.
Can anyone tell me when the yellow bunny evolved? I can't say I've ever seen one of those before!
Drawn to Caricature,
Just click on the blue word "bunny" in the first line. It will bring you to a reeeealy bad recording of the song.
Wreck On!
john
I LOVE VEGGIE TALES!
I own all of the VeggieTales dvds (I started collecting them long before having kids :)
I should send you a pic of the VeggieTales cake that I had someone make for my daughter's 2nd B-day. The girl who made it had never heard of them. She did her best (and I still thought it was cute and a 2 yr old wouldn't know the difference) but it was definitely a wreck!
One year for April fools day I made meat loaves in cup cake tins and frosted them with mashed potatoes with food coloring in them. So maybe you aren't far off on those meat tray bunnies! Today is March 31st, they are just stocking up early.
I thought the meat tray bunnies were wearing antlers..... Jack-a-lopes, perhaps??
@phelpsgurl - a Vulcan and a Pokemon?!??!!! HAHAHAAAaaaaa!!!
The store I worked in had the half round cakes with the plastic bunny face stuck to them with the coconut in a rainbow assortment of artificial coloring. They reminded me of tires with bunny masks. The store is gone but oh were they scary.
The last one looks like he has the mumps.
Did no one else see the girl Ewok ('80's cartoon version)instead of a squished cartoon mouse?
Waiting in antici...pation for the Rabbit of Caerbannog - thought he might be lurking behind the demon lambs of yore but no. None of today's "bunnies" (you've taught us well how to use quotation marks) are deceptively innocent enough.
BTW - my first post after reading this blog for a year- and buying multiple copies of the book!- and I FINALLY understand what everyone's doing with the wv. Ah-ha! (Mine was sefition - This is sefition for my first post.)
I get the feeling that song was more than a little inspired by Oogie-Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Especially when he's got the kids tied up and sings about how they're going to die.
Classic VeggieTales. Back when their characters were allowed to threaten murder and sing songs about skipping church to worship a bunny statue. You know, for kids!
Creepy cakes, Great song. At least the Veggie Tales bunny was chocolate. Styrofoam ground beef trays, what's up with that? Is their meat in cake boxes? And to answer the question about singing the Bunny song anymore, there is a new and improved version on one of the Veggie Tales sing along videos.
Someone get a bra for those "bunnies"!
"...Don't be the bunny..."
I LOVE it when you quote VeggieTales!!! Thanks!
Dang, I actually want to go find and eat one of those coconut bunny disasters.
I didn't eat my soup or my bread, just the bunny...
Thanks, now I'm going to have that stuck in my head all day!
Seriously, you need to get "Kill da Wabbit" by Metallica going in the background-that would have been just that extra little touch that this post needed. You know, like cakes on meat trays....and stuff....
And now I'll be singing the bunny song all week. Is that good or bad?
WV:lizines: Did they have to work hard to make these wrecks or is it just lizines?
TracyO
I must be the only one who didn't get the VeggieTales reference since my kids never got into them, but I LOVED the reference to the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland! :)
But Monsieur Bob! We're not supposed to sing the bunny song!
"Mara" reminds me of the evil bunny in Donnie Darko. *Shudder*
On another note: This whole post is like a huge mix and match game. I think our part in it is to figure out which ears belong on which animal (why are there antlers and troll ears on these easter treats?)
Love the Veggie Tales ref!! Well played...well played...
Love the VeggieTales reference today. :D
Seriously Jen, you might be the most perfect person ever. You're the only other person I've come in contact with (well, you know, contact of some sort) that simultaneously loves VeggieTales, Star Trek, and Doctor Who. I mean, how much cooler could you possibly get? I'm just saying...
Heehee...maybe if we played the drinking game we made up in college to that particular VeggieTales episode (drink every time they said "bunny") they'd actually start to resemble bunnies!
wv: trict - They've tricted us into thinking these have something to do with Easter!
Whoa! I've never even considered a jackalope cake before, but those -- uh, "lovely" -- things on the food trays have GOT to be jackalopes. And I had no idea that jackalopes were involved in helping the Easter bunny.
Gosh, you just learn things every day.
Do people actually PAY for these cakes? I'm no Martha, but good lord, if someone came to my house with one of those I'd break out the roach spray. Absolutely hilarious!
ps - my favorite was the Jack-o-lope rabbit meets Tim Burton on Acid.
OMG That video was just HILARIOUS!
The bunny, The bunny, Whoa! I ate the bunny, I didn't eat my weird cake, just the bunny!
Funny as always, thanx!
I love Veggie Tales!
SteveThePocket-
"Classic VeggieTales. Back when their characters were allowed to threaten murder and sing songs about skipping church to worship a bunny statue. You know, for kids!"
There are many examples of fairy tales/children's stories with shocking negative examples in them. In the original Red Riding Hood, both the girl and her granny got eaten. In the original Cinderella, the evil sisters cut their feet down to size to fit into the slipper.
In the stories that have stood the test of time, the hero/heroine overcomes the negative circumstance, and emerges stronger.
In the original Bible story, obviously there were no chocolate bunnies, but there was a statue, a furnace, and a death threat. Actually attempted murder that was unsuccessful. Veggie Tales toned it down a bit, in fact. :)
The next to the last one my 5 year old came in the room and said, "Oh, reindeers!".
Ya know. . . you may be onto something with the mashed potatoes explanation. . .especially if heaped over a pile of hamburger meat. Not that I want to admit it, but I've left mashed potatoes in the back of the fridge long enough to develop multicolored clusters of molds and bacteria! Imagine the possibilities if there was raw meat underneath! Whoa. Wait. I don't have to imagine. I think you pegged it. Kathleen
The only thing redeeming about today's post is the Veggie Tale's references...
Those food trays, I'm pretty sure, are those styrofoam trays that normally hold *meat.*
Wow where to begin...
the first bunny looks like it is either terrified or perhaps the holographic ears are better conductors than thought and he is being electrocuted.
i agree that these bunnies are super scary the one that is coming out of the yellow coconut coccoon kind of looks like a killer alien bunny. and the jackalopes with boobs are just scary. hopefully y'all realize that the styrofoam trays do not start with meat on them they come as a stack of styrofoam trays that they put meat on although i have seen many other bakeries use them for cookies and such.
the last one looks like it has boxing gloves on
(wv:pelyzess-pleyzess no more scary binnies)
and now I'll be singing Veggietales all day... thanks
VeggieTales!!! Jen, have we ever told you how awesome you are? way more awesome than these freaky bunnies.
"I didn't eat my soup or my bread, just the bunny"
I thought the funny lumps on the alien gophers were boobs!
WTH?!? I don't get it. People actually fork over cash for this crap?!?
Yay! My cake made it on today! I'm telling everyone I know! haha.
I'm afraid cakes on meat trays is really really bad.
no bunny cake for me this year.
You need to watch Henson's "The Tale of the Bunny Picnic".
The eyes look like deer poop!
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who thought the alien gophers had boobs. Careful, we might end up with an Epcot pic there for all the indecency in that picture! (do they count alien animal nudity as indecent??)
wv: lumpri - These cakes are kinda lumpri and blobbri.
Wait. Was that *really* an old school Peter Davison Dr. Who reference? Really? You just so totally made my day. Wow.
http://www.disapprovingrabbits.com/
Real rabbits everywhere disapprove of these cakes!
I'm reading the first line saying "They didn't. No, wait. They DID." Then I clicked on the link and found out that indeed, you DID. :) Veggietales rock. Totally funny reference. I would never eat one of thoes "I-just-got-flattened-by-a-steam-roller-and-STILL-all-the-king's-horses-and-all-the-king's-men-couldn't-put-me-back-togeather-again" sorry excuses for cakes. Blech. That is one way to ruin your Easter morning. "Hey, kids; forget thoes candy eggs: Here's something you *really* want for breakfast!" Aw, yeahhh, mommy. You de bomb.
What's worse: That people are making these works of "art", or that they are actually selling them???
Happiness is reading your blog daily.
The bonus bit of fangirl squeal is when I see your blog reposted by a local bakery facebook page (Missoula, MT) that has the worst fugly decorated cakes ever! That's saying something when your Easter Bunny Rant of fugly bunnies (or were those lambs?) even has fugly decorators squirming!
I've watched enough House to know that that last bunny has Cushing's Syndrome.
Food court trays would have been so much better! Cuz, you know, they double as sleds...
The poor old shredded coconut bunny looks really pissed off!
What is Veggie Tales?
Just after I saw this update on FB, Kinnikinnick posted some quite frightening Gluten Free versions of the ever-feared easter bunny cake. AAH!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3822549&id=89471333508
Animal flashcards for bakers are sounding like a better and better idea.
The set should also include the correct spellings of some common cake inscriptions, like "Happy Birthday," "Congratulations," "It a Gril," and "Happy FalkerSatherhood."
WV: ingesser. The ingesser of these cakes is likley to have a tummyache.
Absolutely hilarious post (as usual). I'm a long-time reader of this site, but honestly I think these are some of the worst cakes I've ever seen. At some point you have to ask: Are these even food anymore?
Regarding that last one -- I believe this is a representation of a male bunny inflating its neck sacs in order to attract a mate. Grouse do this, so why not bunnies?
Have you ever seen Raving Rabbids? Here is a picture of a cake:
http://cakes.r-bdesigns.com/cakes/Custom/ravingrabbis.jpg
Here is a picture of the actual Raving Rabbid (from a video game):
http://forevergeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rabbid.jpg
Some rabbits were made ugly.
why does the 2nd one, the CCC bunny, have a black eye and what appears to be really big moles...ewww
Is that first shocked bunny having a colonoscopy with that face? And is he suffering from hypothermia? (BLUE? really? is it a boy?) but the chicks are really cute. I love how the one is looking right at me. aww...little green beak.
#2 is deranged. and apparently sick. the eyes I cannot explain.
#3: sheep? mouse? not a bunny with those round ears. and ugly regardless.
nice electrified whiskers on #4. also shocking. or shocked, like he's about to be pounced on by a predator. but a yellow body with white coconut flakes and a white head? what is the logic here?
haybale bunny is pretty pathetic. just slap a flotsam head to the side of a yellow coconut encrusted blob. must have been a trainee.
#6. I had to look twice. I thought those were antlers. then I though Jen accidentally posted reindeer cakes. until I saw the eggs. and are those olive eyes?? what's with the airbrushed spotted bodies? could the decorator not decide whether to make it an animal or an egg? or tried to make bunnies that looked like eggs? with antlers? and danish faced?
the last one defies description.
You guys are so FUNNY!
My little boy said that they look like cats...he thinks? I loved the one with the crazy eye! Hilarious!
So does that mean that Sunday Sweets this week is going to be the New and Improved Bunny Song...er, cake? ;)
Aaaeeeiioouu!
Those are the vowels. Sometimes you gotta break the rules.
Fourpostment/Dr. Demento
Meat trays? Do you mean to say that there are actual bunnies inside those cakes?
this is EXACTLY why i was afraid of the easter bunny until the age of like, 15.
soooo i happen to work in a bakery where we are forced to make bunny cakes for easter. i like to call them satan bunny cakes..but thankfully i haven't seen one of mine on here. :)
that second one looks like the Trix bunny tried to steal cereal from the wroooong kids!
Since when did people think it was okay to smash a bunch of cupcakes together and decorate it as one big blob?? I just don't get it! It NEVER, NEVER, looks good!
The alien gophers look like they have bosoms!! What is that about?
Are those hot dogs on the ears of "rabbit" #4?
Oh my word! Too scarey. For an example of cute easter bunnies ought to look like - can't go past Lisa's adorable cupcakes for her kids' classrooms - http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisas_cakes/4478122849/?addedcomment=1#comment72157623619620651
I usually don't comment because the cakes often leave me speechless, but I must say you win 10,000 internets for mentioning the Bunny Song from Veggietales!
If those are food court trays, those are mighty big "bunnies". They must weigh 10 lbs a piece. I particularly love the black olive eyes. The children will be fighting over the piece with the big salty black eyes!
#5: the yellow coconut cake with the evil,scary,demonic clown-face type bunny thingy on it...AUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH (runs screaming into the next room)
And I thought my bunny cakes were terrifying!
The first one's a rabbit? I thought it was a mutant taco. Coulda fooled me.
And as for the rest . . . well, maybe that's what any future aliens look like.
Oh who am I kidding! That stuff doesn't even look of this galexy!
My husband looked at the meat tray bunnies & said, "Uh... why do they have boobies?" I almost fell off my chair. He's right. Are those cheeks or boobs? And why do alien bunny/gophers need boobies?
Angie, I thought "BOOBIEEEES!" too!
~ Cynthia
WV: susnee: I susnee some help to figure out why the BOOBIEEEES!
That 2nd one is just scary! Seriously.
On the other hand, you should label the meat tray ones NSFW. Those have bunny boobies showing! Oh yeah, bunny boobies!
LOVE the Veggie Tales reference!! I now like you even more. But I can't get Mr. Nezzer out of my head...
You have successfully incorporated Veggie Tales in to your blog, you are loved. :)
Whoo Hoo Jen for the Veggie Tales Reference! The bunny the bunny, oooh I love the bunny!!
Ya know the only cute thing on any of those cakes was the 'chicks' on the side of that first blue bunny cake. Other than that....wow.
That last cake looks like the wreckorator used jalapeño pepper molds for ears...
Veggie Tales quotes make this post so much more amazing than usual, which is hard to do. =] Rack Shack and Benny was my favorite for a long time.
Someone loves coconut to make those cakes.. I can't even tell if that first cake is a bunny or an alien with rabbit ears. Even one of the chicks has fallen over in laughter at that thing. And those two whatchamacalits on the meat trays.. maybe they are piles of meat disguised as deranged rabbits I can't even stop laughing to tell what the heck the wreckerator was up to on those.
As horrible as that blue bunny cake is, those are really cute frosting chicks next to it. How can the same person produce an adorable frosting chick AND that round monstrosity?
i have to agree on the veggie tales references, they are awesome!
That second cake reminds me of the HypnoToad from "Futurama".
Jen, seriously did not think I could love you anymore--and then you busted out the Veggie Tales reference.
Kudos to the VT reference! (I didn't even watch the video--I just started singing it as soon as I saw the sentence xD)
veggie tales! awesome! :) it's better now that i'm older and get more jokes.
I dont want a tissue when my nose is runny, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny ...
Love the reference. Like you could have rocked more - you've outdone yourself. This is by far my favorite blog ever. Excellent work, as always.
My one daughter thought the first one was an Easter bonnet. I could totally see that. Especially since it's blue. (Blue Bunny is just an ice cream brand, wreckerator!)
then we have bunny cow or a goat, depending on the kid.
#3) bunny earmuffs or a snowflake.
4) angry bunny or bunny in chicken soup
5) bunny sticking out of hay, or hungry bunny, hungry because he's eating the hay.
Then comes the new breed of Bunnycow. or Bunnyreindeer with a pig nose. then pigreindeer.
Hahaha... if those are fro kid's bdays, it would SCARE them!!!!
Cheryn
I Can't Sew
When I think Easter Bunny, I think Antlers. Doesn't everyone?
That poor bunny in the first picture. Did someone shove something up his butt?
I would totally buy the shocked (frozen?) blue bunny just for the laughs.
VEGGIE TALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEE!
On the bright side,you won't have much guilt in your head about eating those bunnies. By guilt I mean the kind you get thinking "Omigod, it's so cute I can't eat it". Guys, you probably don't have this. And with the alien gophers, I could have sworn those ears were antlers when I first looked at them. the cheeks of the one rabbit look like playdoh hamburger patties. In fact, I think I can see a bit of the other half of the bun emerging from underneath its coconut encrusted...er..."skin".
Those things on the food trays are Jackelopes!
You made my day with the Eye of Mara reference.
I love this site so much. And I love not only the Veggie Tales reference, but that it's the version we're SUPPOSED to sing, instead of the naughty version... Many points of nerdery for that!
Disneyland, Veggietails, and cake. I love you guys.
So THAT'S where my pink banana covers went!
Someone get a bra for those "bunnies"! - So True xx