Insults 101: When calling a girl a dog, it's always helpful to be breed-specific.
(For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure that's not how Mrs. Hopperband spells her name.)"Look, I just want what every girl wants for her birthday: a big- a$$ cake!"
Eh. [shrugging] As I'm sure every cake-loving girl would agree: close enough. Pass the forks!Sometimes you just want a sugary baked good for no reason at all. And yet, without an inscription, what can Wreckerators wreck? That's why they're so adamant that your cake say something.
And that's also why we get Wrecks like these:
Give it a minute.- Related Wreckage: Dial-A-Wreck
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Jenny Dog Bassett Hound is better than Jenny b*tch, right?
Love the BIG ASS CAKE!!!
The Big A$$ cake one is actually a play on the Big A$$ chain T-Pain wears.
The past two posts are what cake wrecks is all about...
Sorry to ruin the third cake but I think it's a spoof on T-Pain's BIG ASS CHAIN.
http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2009/06/picture-tpains-big-ass-chain
Which it makes it awesome.
Is there a Wreckerator school for that? Because, durr...
Morning Jen!
Was #3 supposed to be a big-a$$ cake... or a big a$$-cake?
Not that it makes it any better, but I'm pretty sure the 'big a*& cake' is a riff on a chain a prominent rapper wore, with a medallion that had ' big a#$ chain'.
Please don't make me explain how i knew that.
wv:lesec - defined as the type of eye surgery one needs to make any of these wrecks look acceptable.
I had to blow up that last one to make sure I was seeing an "H". But then I saw the book to the right. Is it just me or does it say, "Customizing Instruction...Less Proficient Readers"? I'd say that would be appropriate!
agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com
Even if it wasn't what they asked for, the BigArseCake probably got some serious laughs! Love it!
I am just cracking up over the 'Ho Thing Special.'
Band bride? I thought it said Bond bride!
I seriously want the big ass cake.
joules wonders: "What IS a 'Bond Bride'?" "Or is that 'Band Bride'?"
WV: quiving - These Wrecks are quiving me the quiggles.
Nothing special on it. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's too much.
Yes, please. I'd like to order the big a$$-cake, very specifically not the big-a$$ cake.
Also, I'd like the Ho Thing Special.
I mean, what the hell! How many bachelor parties are you going to have, am I right?
I think that one is supposed to say "Band Pride" and Mrs. Hopper is the band director.
You know how a joke now is to move the dash in big-ass {whatever}, so it has a whole new meaning? For example, "Steve had a big-ass party last night" to "Steve had a big ass-arty last night". See?
So the big-ass cake? Could be the third cake in this post:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-years-diet-aid.html
I was going to link to just that image but... {shudder} couldn't. Just couldn't.
Who the he11 is T-Pain, and why do you people know this stuff?
The first cake is SO classic. Oh well, the wreckerator probably would have screwed up making an actual basset hound even more.
That Big Ass cake is going to scare all the kiddies away...not to mention the dieting set!
That last one had me literally laughing out loud at my desk!
I'm thinking Big Ass-Cake would have been worse!
Hothing?! In Cyrillic, the "n" sound is spelled with a letter that looks like H. I'm going to hope that the wreckerator was Eastern European and doesn't actually think hothing is a word.
I might appreciate getting the BAC if not for the black parts that resemble caviar.
It looks like the Big A$$ Cake is trying to rival EPCOT ;)
Either way, my big ass wants some cake now.
I now have Spice Girls stuck in my head!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!
thanks for the Friday laughs...my goodness and black icing to boot!
I thought that it was Mrs. Hopper (blonde bride on cake)
Hmmm...
As for the "BIG @$$ CAKE" -- now that's a CAKE!!
And as for the last one, if they just had a hankering for a giant cooking with frosting balloons on it, why didn't they just request it "plain"?
Uh-oh, i think i just opened myself up to another wreck!!
Ho Thing Special..... sounds like some kind of Chinese take-out. :)
They wanted a cake with a Bond Bride on it?? Do they even know what happened to Bond's bride at the end of that film???
("On Her Majesty's Secret Service" with Diana Rigg. Bring tissues, you might need them.)
Well, I'm pretty sure the first cake was supposed to stop at "Jenny", then add a basset hound (i.e. dog) figure/picture/whatever.
And to answer some previous questions, I think a substantial number of people know who T-Pain is solely because of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
The Big Ass Cake is a glorious, glorious thing. It is most assuredly NOT a wreck.
You know, aside from the fail that is the words on these cakes, a lot of the time the handwriting on these things is atrocious. I could do that myself. If I were paying money for a professional cake, I'd expect the writing to be nice.
Placing order at counter:
"I would like a slice of Big A$$ Cake and a Ho Thing to go please."
LMAO at the "Big Ass Cake"! I MUST have this!
I was driving through southern Utah a while back and saw a sign for "Ho-Made Pies." Another think-it-through moment that got away.
OK, I'll bite. What did the "band bride" customer ask for?
I'm glad the Big @$$ cake did not feature a picture or sculpture of a big @$$!
I love the Big Ass Cake; not so much the Ho Thing Special.
The dark bits on the big-a$$ cake (or he big a$$-cake) look at little like rabbit pooh - eeuuwww!
wv anubsess: the ancient egyptian god of Wreckerators
AHAHAHAHA. For my next party, I must replicate the Big Ass Cake! When they start cutting, it will get even more interesting. Start at the top and it becomes Ass Cake. Start at the bottom and it becomes Big Ass. you can't lose! XD
I want some of that big ass cake! Or the Ho Thing Special cookie. Really, just give me anything sweet right now...I don't care if it's pretty.
I LOVE the BigAss Cake! Evidentally someone thought it was a wreck, but I'm sure it's just what the customer ordered.
I took the "hopperband" to mean she wanted them to write the inscription and put the picture in a "band" on the cake, like a ribbon?
It's hard to comprehend how unbelievably dense these cake writers are!!! Time and time again they can't understand when someone wants a picture ON the cake and not spelled out for them! and they do this for a living! Wow. It never ceases to amaze me!
Hahaha I'm sorry but the Big Ass Cake is total win in my eyes :D
The Big Ass Cake is actually T-Pain's birthday cake!
http://bossip.com/161768/t-pain-celebrates-his-birthday-with-a-big-a-cake/
I'm going to go with the camp that says it's suppose to be a BLONDE bride on the cake. Which potentially makes it even more of a wreck, because it means that the either the customer or the wreckorator misspelled "blonde".
I love the Big Ass Cake, I'd consider asking for that for my birthday.
The big arse lettering on the big a&* cake is actually quite well-done!
'SNOT FAIR!!!
I WANNA BIG ASS CAKE TOO!!!!!!
GIMMEE!!!GIMMEE!!!GIMMEE!!!!
*throws all dollies out of pram and sulks*
I love the happy exclamation point after "basset hound." I like to imagine the cake was made for 2 pets--a female donkey and a dog who is a basset hound.
Hey at least they spelled "congratulations" correctly.
The BAC made my husband laugh, deviled eggs everywhere. Thanks, Jen.
I'm not touching Ho Thing Special. You can't make me.
Well how about that! Nice to see my last name on a cake and a post here on the Cake Wrecks site. Yup, it was h*ll on wheels as a youngster being called hound and being female. My brother had not one whit of a problem with that handle. The Bassett name, at one time, was statistically in the top 2000 common names in the USA. Thanks for the grins, always!
I can TOTALLY see someone calling in and specifically requesting a big a** cake. I bet that was intentional. In which case, it's hilarious.
Have to say, I'd be more than happy with a BIG A$$ CAKE, though I'd be happy to share with Jenny the Basset Hound...
Hey, big ass cake does not belong! It is full of win!
Co-worker 1: What kind of cake do you want for your birthday?
Co-worker 2: I don't care, as long as it's a big-ass cake. We've got a lot of co-workers to feed.
Result: The BIG ASS CAKE.
WV: Oppedys -- Hurry and oppedys ice cream carton and serve it with the Big Ass Cake, before it melts!
The Big Ass Cake is the funniest cake you've had up here in months! It's rare a cake is LOL-worthy without the additional funny dialogue from you guys. This really speaks for itself. OMFGLOLL
Not familiar with T-pain, but I'd have guessed the Big Ass Cake was on purpose just because it actually looks pretty well done -evenly spaced, correctly spelled, etc.
HA HA HA! I can always count on you guys to make me laugh even when I'm having a crap day at work! Thanks for these!
Ho Thing Special!
The BIG ASS CAKE should be under "Cake MASTERPIECES." Unless it's a smallish cake. Then it's totally a wreck.
WVW: undecks
Takes back a surprise clobber to the head.
"Joe, realizing the person he has just knocked unconscious was the pizza delivery boy, undecks him, takes the pizzas, and leaves a generous tip on his prone body."
About the Band Bride cake
I suspect this is congratulating someone about to get married and they wanted a wedding band and a bride on the cake along with the congratulations message and this got written down as "band, bride on it".
Ah Jen, thank you so much for two postings in a row of my favourite sort of wreck, the ones I characterize as "the under neat wreck." You are too good to us.
My second favourite is the missed mark wedding cakes. I hope you have some more lopsided two-tiered round brown cakes alongside their three-tiered, square burgundy models.
wv: vantsm - I always vantsm more of these sidesplitting wrecks.
I'd be worried the 'Nothing Special' was truth in advertising moment.
Especially as it pops up (assuming) the morning after the the Big A$$ Cake night.
WV: Reatie -- reatie bytes, missing fragments, message corrupted.
I just had a birthday and I didn't get a cake. So next year I am requesting a Big Ass Cake!! I better get it too! :)
Thanks for the many laughs!!
Lol. I had to fix a cake that our decorator did once. It was a Happy Birthday Tweety cake. Which is the name of the edible image. They didn't want any writting on the cake.
The new person in the bakery wrote on the slip "Happy Birthday Tweety" and the decorate put the image on the cake (good) but wrote on the cake "Happy Birthday Tweety!" (bad) I had to do my best to scrape of Tweety. Oh my.
Am I the only one who's interpreting this as "hot thing special"? I realize there's only one t, but since it's capitalized...
At least it wasn't SHAPED like a big a$$! Who would want to eat that kind of cake?
I would die happy if I got the Big Ass Cake XD
I love the big ass cake! (That cake could have taken a terrible turn, but I'm thankful that it didn't!)
So, I thought CW2 said "Band Bride," and I'm wondering, "what is a "band bride?"
Then the Big Ass Cake. Not "big-ass" as in, "Wow, that's a big-ass car you're driving," but more like Big
Ass-Cake. What would an ass cake look like? I shudder.
Perfect timing for this on fb this came up with the Big A$$ Cake picture and someone had just asked me what kind of cake I was going to make for my birthday so I shared the link and said. "This is what I am making" LOL! LOVE IT!
I love the Big A** cake! :D At least it didn't include any anatomy. Pass me a fork! Or better yet, give me the place's number so I can place an order for my next birthday party at work. They'd get a kick out of it.
Is that last one a Ho Thing Special? Maybe that's the appetizer for the Big Ass Cake.
So did T-Pain originally order a "Big-Ass Chain," which only came about due to an error and really belongs on a website somewhere called "Jewelry Wrecks?" Instead of complaining, maybe he realized he'd found the gimmick he'd been looking for, and he wisely decided to wear it with pride. Now, he's stuck with it on his birthday, too. That's show-biz for ya! :D
This blog never fails to make me laugh out loud. THANK YOU for sharing these confectionary disasters!
Ok that big ass cake.. is it warning us what will happen if we even attempt to eat it? If so that still wouldn't stop me I would grab my fork and dig right in lol.. sometimes I think these wreckerators are trying to drive their victims insane on purpose.
Maybe the (now) Mrs Hopper and her sweetheart were both in the marching band...hence, a band bride. I know several band couples from my marching band days (college) who got married. It sounds like the sort of thing those crazy band people might say...you know, filtered through a wreckerator.
Before clicking on the last one, I thought it said "hotwing special" and got all excited about eating hot wings and cookies. Sadly, I was mistaken. And now I'm hungry.
The Basset Hound cake is hilarious! If you've ever seen Madagascar 2, then you should totally get the inside joke on this cake. The only thing cakewrecky about it is the terrible handwriting and misspelling of "Basset."
At least that last one has sprinkles.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
"Nothing special..."
"Oh, c'mon!"
"BIG ASS CAKE!"
The Basset Hound could have been making a reference to Madagascar 2 at the end when they are playing telephone with the monkeys and instead of "pass it on", they say "basset hound"