(Because by the end of this post, you'll have no IDEA what one looks like.)First up, "Oscar Lends a Hand:"
Ouch."Wasted Windmills:"
The care. The precision.
The...triangle thingies.
I don't usually call out specific bakery chains, but c'mon, Target. Really?[Seth: Really?]
[Amy: Really! Really?]
[Seth: I mean, Reeeeally.]
"Something Vaguely Obscene on Something Vaguely Hat-Like:"
Never mind, Target. All is forgiven."The Right Hook:"
Why do they always curve to the right? "The Sham...WOW":
You following this, camera guy?Yeah, me neither.
"The Thing I'm Told is a Shamrock But I'm Not Buying It:"
And from the looks of things, neither is anyone else.Maia G., Meg K., Lori B., Carrie M., Misty B., Trisha D., & Alex, I want you to know that my little Guinness joke does NOT mean I think Irish people are all alcoholics, and I would hate to have any of you lovely Irish readers think that. Especially considering your hair-trigger tempers and all.
- Related Wreckage: Rockin' Shams
UPDATE: Today I learned that there is a difference between clovers and shamrocks. As I understand it from your comments, clovers can have either 3 or 4 leaves, but shamrocks can only have three Epcots. [nodding seriously] Good to know, good to know.
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140 comments | Post a Comment
Yikes! They're not even trying. And there's no way that last one is ANYTHING!
http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com/
Ha ha! Looks like broccoli has finally got a following as the new St Pat day symbol! Go Broccoli!
My daughter made me stop at the "hat" one and said, "Mom, I want that one. A hat for my birthday is so cool. I want that cake!" So, I guess you have to be 4 to appreciate fine cake art.
Only one thing, Jen - Shamrocks have three leaves. Your example is a fine four-leaf clover, but it's no shamrock either.
It's why St. Patrick used it as a symbol for the holy Trinity: the leaves stood for the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Really. (I always liked the term Holy Ghost. Sounded much spookier than spirit.) That is a lot of useless information for someone who's not even Catholic!
And the sham-wows are clearly meant for another holiday, Siddown and Eat Yer Broccoli day, celebrated on...uh...March 17th.
A shamrock has three sections, not four. It represents the Trinity.
Some of those "shamrocks" look more like broccoli.
That last line had me the closest I've ever been to needing a squeejee for my laptop. Thanks for the Top' o' the mornin' smile.
Holy crap. Of all the easiest possible designs and they still bork it!
Those get an "E" for effort. I think the last one is supposed to be either a hybrid shamrock, or a disease-riddled one...you decide.
Oh, come on. What's wrong with Target encouraging all the kids who read their catalog to eat more broccoli?
Great, funny post as always. But you may want to re-think your shamrock reference photo. What you've depicted is a four-leaf clover. Any good church-going child can tell you that St. Patrick used the Shamrock to illustrate the Holy Trinity- three parts of one being. Shamrocks only have three leaves. Just sayin'...'cause you are the only one that gets to be a smarty pants.
-Erin
*snort* *cough* *choke* bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
(the sounds I made as I snorted my coffee before bursting into laughter at the Right Hook)
WV: axese. I think all these cakes should be axese to death.
Most of these look like weird mutant fungus under the microscope.
Am I the only one who thinks the right hook wreck is more obscene than the "hat"?
aren't shamrocks and four leaf clovers entirely different things?
these are awesomely scary <3
I was in my local Zehrs yesterday and deeply regretted that I didnt' have a camera. Apparently, the Zehrs bakery was under the impression that St. Patties Day was about to happen. Oops.
Hi. Your reference photo isn't a shamrock. It is a four leaf clover. Shamrocks only have 3 leaves. St Pat taught the Irish about the Holy Trinity by using a shamrock.
"When are they going to STOP putting 'windmill' in Pictionary??"...The Community, pretty funny, never mind.
In what world is there red in a shamrock? Really, because I am very curious.
That last one is just unacceptable - Guinness or not!
REALLY? Wow! Now, honestly...how can ANYONE think that last cake is a shamrock in any form? That person should be fired. Seriously! Where's Donald Trump when you need him?
Amazing...'stems' on some of these shamrocks.
I I might make one tiny observation? A shamrock has three leaves; your reference photo is a four-leaf clover (considered lucky because there are a lot fewer of them than the three leaf ones). You often see both as symbols for St. Patrick's Day now, but it was the three leafed shamrock that St. Patrick used to teach the idea of the Holy Trinity being three persons in one God when he went to Ireland.
So endeth the lesson!
Val
CT
Wow...that fifth one just looks obscene. You sure that's a shamrock?
I also happen to think that last one was never meant to be a shamrock; it's clearly a used lollipop that fell in the trash.
I THINK they may have been trying to incorporate the colors of Ireland's flag into the last one (green, white, orange). Still - there's no excuse for that kind of wreckage!
I think the last one supposed to be a Irish flag colored sharock. Got that?
Just horrible. Horrible.
One other nitpick... although I agree that those cookies are, indeed, wreckariffic, I have, in my possession, a beautiful Shamrock plant, and each leaflet is a perfect triangle. There are, however, only three leaflets to each stem.
So I give that wreckarator points for tryin'. The others, though? coffee-snortin' time. Honestly!
Some of these cakes - and you know which ones I mean! - remind me of a "classic" pickup line: "Do you have any Irish in you? Do you want any?"
As for the rest...I drew better shamrocks on my Cousin Jack cookies last year. Yeesh.
Word verification: phailyc. Offered without comment.
I saw that Target ad and immediately thought cake wreck! It's pretty bad! :)
If only my kids were here to help me comment. btw, judging by these, I doubt the spirit of choice was Guinness. maybe some sort of Irish whiskey...
1) is that a triple eared elephant? that stalk looks like a trunk. maybe he's wearing a fancy collar.
2) those windmills are sad.
3) nvm...
4) is that the Green Giant's hat with broccoli on it showing his support for veggies?
5) I don't know WHAT that is but the stalk end looks very suspicious...
6) again with the broccoli? are we celebrating vegetarian day?
7) I don't know WHAT that is. ice cream scoop with a cherry on a green stick? sports equipment? no clue...it's NOT a shamrock
I'm pretty sure that last one is a SanwichPop.
joliman
This whole post was hilarious. Thanks for help getting through Monday!
WV: sycgrup - All us people who enjoy these wrecks, we're a sycgrup
Thank God you included the Target ad picture! I saw that and immediately thought of the site. I'm surprised they allowed such a wrecky CCC (ptooie) begging to be mocked.
Stacie - loved the callback to Community. "Stop drawing circles around it!"
hahaha I think the first is my favorite.
Well, I'm glad to see that Seth and "Amy" are still together and going strong!!! Guess I better make sure to tell Seth!!! LOL!!
Was going to say basically the same as Suzi!
Oh lay off about the shamrock/four-leaf clover, guys. Either way, it's a clover, and it still proves that these cake "designers" dropped out of art in the fourth grade.
HEY YOUR SHAMROCK IS ACTUALLY A FOUR LEAFED CL--
Oh never mind, beaten to it.
That's funny. I saw the Target ad and instantly thought.... "Really? I mean Really? Cakewrecks will love this one!" and promptly got distracted by Ace of Cakes. :)
Uhm.... Why does the third to last one have a "tip" on the stem??
*worried that I probably just alarmed my neighbours by howling [like a bean sidhe! XP] with laughter* Whew... *wiping tears from my eyes*
To respond to the comments citing the story about St. Patrick and the shamrock. I was raised Catholic, so I grew up hearing that as well. However, the ancient Celts already had the concept of triple deities - both Triple Gods and Triple Goddesses - way before St. Patrick came along. If you look at ancient Irish art, there are many uses of three images interconnected, such as the triquetra and the triskelion [like the spiral triskelions which can be found at Newgrange.]
The story about St. Patrick is most likely another example of the common practice of the Catholic Church back in those days to take local customs and ascribe Christian meanings to them to make it easier to convert the people. [To be clear, I'm just stating that objectively as a matter of historical fact. I'm not passing judgment here.]
Actually...
(wait for it)
(wait for iiiiiit)
It's Epcot.
Couldn't resist!
a 4 leaf clover is a rare mutation of a 3 leaf 4 leaf is still a shamrock just rarer
wv lessedic some of the wrecks need lessedic
d
I recieved my first cake wreck this weekend! It was my birthday and I had requested cupcakes (I actually heart CCC's because of the mass amount of icing that is involved). Anyway, my husband (the sweet sweet man that he is) picked up a CCC for me that was intended to say, "Happy Birthday Chrisy"...instead, it said "Wappy Birfday Christy". Apparently they think my husband has a speech impediment.
Love the Weekend Update reference!
I think the first cake is actually a green hand-turkey. As for the rest, er, .
first of all: WOW! who knew shamrocks were so hard to make? and REALLY, Target? I'm ashamed of you.
secondly: I'm Irish. and I love my Guinness. and we're all alcoholics. and we're okay with that.
All the complaints about 3-4 leaf clovers and yet the first one has 6! Maybe it's a moldy turkey Thanksgiving cake? The last one looks like a poisonous mushroom laying on its side.
"Hey Emily, come and look at this!"
"What?"
"Check out these cakes!"
"Hmm, interesting.. um.. broccoli."
"It's not broccoli. It's a shamrock."
"Oh."
Nice Shamrocks!
On a side note, Happy Birthday to Me!!!
Wow, I wonder what these bakers would come up with if you asked them for a cross or a circle? Never mind, with Easter coming up, we'll probably find out.
I do feel obligated to point out, though, that your reference picture of a shamrock is actually a four leafed clover. A proper shamrock has three Epcots.
The last one looks like a daffodil for St. David's Day! It was on the 1st of March, so maybe that's what they were aiming at? Still a pretty poor daff though...
Wow....don't these places train people?
BTW People...don't you guys read the comments before posting? 50 people don't need to tell Jen the difference between a shamrock and a four-leaf clover....I'm sure she got it the first time.
Heh, heh. What Andygirl said. :-)
Um, and I know the clover vs shamrock thing was explained to death. But what's the deal with these wrecktastic SIX leaf clovers? Was I sick that day in Catholic school?
OK - who in their right mind rounded the stem and put that extra line across the bottom of the RIGHT HOOK cake
I am glad, however, that they put the tiny plastic flotsam shamrock on there so that we would know what it is supposed to be! I wonder where the flotsam phallis is...
Tracy
OK, so it's easy to make the smart-a** comments and all, but no lie: By the time I reached the last three I honestly thought "Wait a minute, what was the theme again...?"
I think I'd actually reached a point where I was de-sensitized to the wrecks. I'll be looking at those blobby six-fingered green thingies like "oh hey, that's nice..."
HOLY COW!!! You've just made my day.
Agree with Suzi, shamrocks have 3 leaves, while the 4-leaf clover you're showing is actually the 4-H symbol sans H's.
;)
It's been awhile since I saw some CCC's (ptooie!!) on this site. Thought maybe they went the way of disco or, better yet, horseless carriages. Alas, they are still with us.... (thanks, Target!)
wv: misit
if bakeries stopped making CCC's (ptooie!!), I doubt anyone would misit.
"Oscar lends a hand?" Haha-- my first thought was, "Big Bird, is that you?"
Thanks for including the Target ad! I knew it was only a matter of time when they started showing off their CCC handiwork at every holiday. They could probably get more money for that thing if they'd just cut a couple CCs off the stem.
The first one looks like someone painted the NBC peacock green.
Wow! That last one looks like a "flower" made by a drunken kindergartener.
I'm devastated. Someone beat me to the obligatory, legendary EPCOT reference.
:-p
Here's a good photo of real shamrocks (the type that grow on the ground in Ireland):
http://evenshine.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/shamrock.jpg
And here's another photo of the shamrocks that are common as houseplants:
http://www.krika.com/Tropical%20Garden/Tropical%20S/Shamrock-Plant.jpg
They are different types of plants yet both are called shamrocks. I have had a shamrock plant for 27 years and it's still very healthy. Each leaf is its own little plant, and if you get dead leaves you shouldn't yank them out because that will disturb the stems around it. You just trim off the dead leaves with scissors. Also, the reason each leaf has a crease down the middle is that at night the leaves fold up like little umbrellas.
With the difference between the rounded ground shamrock and the pointy house plant shamrock you can ALMOST excuse some of the decorators for being a little confused. For all of the other cake wrecks, you'll have to blame the Guinness.
Wow. I'm pretty sure my 8-year old cousin is able to draw a shamrock without actually having to, you know, convert it to broccoli.
And my boyfriend is Irish, flaming red hair and all, and if he could breath Guinness, he would. Like Andygirl said, they're all alcoholics, and they're all okay with it.
i think maybe they were going for a shamrock colored as the irish flag in the last one, but really missing the mark....oh dear!
The shamrock (3 leaves) is the proper symbol for St. Patrick. Supposedly he used it to help the Irish understand how the holy trinity works. However, these are awful shamrocks. The four-leaf clover is a symbol of luck. I hope that clears this up.
I think the first one, if done in orange or brown would resemble the beginnings of all those turkey "cakes" [read: attempts] last November. Who's with me?
Thank God they finally found a shape that so perfectly lends itself to CCCs! Yes, we acknowledge that making circles out of cupcakes is very difficult, but the shamrock--now there is a can't-miss CCC design!
Wait a minute...
--kate
That last one is NOT a shamrock. I can't accept that. There's RED in it. Since when is that right?
I'm sure no day is a good day to see green body parts. Oh, my!
LOVE the Seth and Amy reference!
Well, here's a point.
The people who made these cakes are probably so busy they just don't have time to do them better. Busy equals, lots of cakes, lots of orders, lots of money.
Where as, the people who did the Sunday Sweets Masterpieces obviously are eyeball deep in spare time.
So really, who's the success, huh? Huh? Huh?
Oh man... that right hook is looking more like something else than that...
*Yes, my brain went there*
Cupcake cakes are almost always disasters...
For all those insisting on telling Jen that her reference photo is actually a four-leaf clover rather than a shamrock, I suggest you re-read the post, and check out what the reference photo actually references...yes, that's right, a "clover."
Thanks for the laughs!
I like the way the triangle "shamrocks" (which definitely look more like the triangle-shaped houseplant variety than the typical St. Patty's day design) on the second one show frugality on the part of the decorator. The first one done (bottom right corner) is with the full pastry bag, and not wanting to waste any precious green icing, they kept going and squeezed out the very last bit on the last one (bottom left corner). Uh, yah...
The last one looks very mushroomesque.
I was about to ask the same thing as one of the other comments -- why does the "right hook" have a "tip" on it's stem? It is as if the decorator was going for the penis look on purpose.
*Hahahahaha!!!*
And the last one is soooo awful, I'm surprised it made it in a box and on display!?!?! Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Thanks for the great laughs to get my Monday going!
~Chell
I dunno, maybe the Sham-Wow ones are trying to be Joshua Trees...
That's kinda Irish now right? ;p
I see the sham parts of all of these… at least they went light on the “poo” part today.
I recognize the right hook. He was my 1st husband. he was Irish too.
The last one... what the crap!?!? I'm still squinting in confusion! I literally had my nose touching the screen and still, I got nothin'...
That last one looks like an old piece of toast smothered in cream cheese with a broccoli handle. Egads!
The 1st one reminds me of the turkey cake wrecks. The last one, I just don't get!
Note to self: if I ever find myself making a shamrock CCC (at gunpoint, no doubt), skip the stem and try for a four-leaf clover.
The Sham-WOW looks more like a sham-cauliflower!
I think most of us saw that target add and wanted to send it in. I know I did!
I loved the SNL reference. If target thinks the "clover" is attractive, I would like to see their other cakes. On second thought, I take that back I have no desire to be sick.
That "right hook" looks bothersome.
Obviously, the Guiness joke refers to the bakers! Sheesh - what some people try to pass off as decorated cakes. (wailing in an Irish accent) : Oh the Shame of it All!
After reviewing the Rockin' Shams
related wreckage, it is clear that the commonality is BROCCOLI. Whodathought?
"The Sham...WOW": looks like a bacteria.
Wow, #5, at first glance I thought it was a swastika haha. Why do all these only have 3 leaves? I thought it was lucky to have 4. And 3 leaves was just.. meh. Not that I can count the leaves on all of those.
I actually think that targets clovers were pretty good, considering they are made of cupcakes.
spikestar.wordpress.com
To Anonymous at 1:47 PM:
Actually, the reference photo only said "shamrock" when it was originally posted. Notice how it's crossed out now and says "clover" in bold. That's because this morning, people jumped all over her 8,000 separate times telling her that it was NOT a shamrock! So she edited her post.
Also, 100 people saying the same thing is acceptable up to a point. All 100 people could submit their comments at the same time and not have them show up on the comments list until hours later. That's why it says the blog owner has to approve the comments! Don't think that Jen and John sit there all day approving comments as they come in; they do a lot at once!
Give Jen and John a break. There are so many smarties and know-it-alls out there that make a fun blog annoying. Personally, I couldn't care any less about the difference between a shamrock and a clover. It just isn't that important in the grand scheme of things, now, is it?
Let's all sing along with Bugs!
"I'm looking over a three-leaf clover that I've overlooked be-threeeeee!"
Oh, for the love of...
HERE we go again.
>^@.@^<
================================
THIS JUST IN: "93,717 (combined)shamrocks and clovers later, they reached a consensus. The adopted word is now 'shamvers'. No, wait--maybe it was 'clorocks'..."
(And why is the so-called "right hook" facing left?)
That last one... yikes. Just yikes. And I don't even want to know how that one was deemed fit to sell.
You tell me what holiday the "right hook" is celebrating and I am converting!
Hmm, I thought the handle on the last one looked more like the corpse of a Gumby.
Gumby
I think that last one is supposed to be a daffodil.
But even then, it's pathetic.
I love your Blog and now read it every day with both of my daughters. Your wit is hilarious and we truly enjoy reading what you come up with. It would be great if alot of other readers would leave well enough alone, stop trying to prove how "smart" they are and just let you be funny. Keep up the awesome work, there is more positivety behind you than negative. =)
OMG, we got that Target "shamrock" cupcake cake at work today! It was slightly better looking than the picture you have, but not much.
If you look at the add on Target's site and hit the details button, they have a box at the bottom of the window that shows a description of the item in question. It seems this CCC *patooie* is "Prepared in our store by our talented decorators." Hmmmmmmm...
I blushed.... great post!
Jen -
Thank you for posting a photo of a four-leaf clover. All good Catholics know, however, that when one celebrates St. Patrick's Day in the traditional sense, the image should have six leaves. Three leaves represent the Trinity. Double that with a few pints of Guinness and you get six. I'm sure if you had ever been to Epcot, you would already know this.
@ Michele:
"...It seems this CCC *patooie* is "Prepared in our store by our talented decorators.""
*******
That's all well and good, but that isn't telling us what they are being prepared FOR, now IS it?
Prepared for whatever may come? Prepared for burial? Prepared for combat?
I'm just suggesting that it's a very open-ended statement, all (ugly) things considered....
That last one is um, yeah, wow..
Anyone besides me seeing wrangled Kermit hands?
A couple of those look like something out of one of the early "D&D" Monster Manuals...
Every one of my baking genes is offended!
No...I take that back - Every one of my cookery genes is offended!
And there's no point allowing my Irish genes to speak publicly, as my comment would have to be banned.
As for my hatred of broccoli genes....
WV: ammater. Ha! Too easy!
Have you guys seen this shamrock cupcake at instructables.com?
(it says cookies, but it's cupcakes)
http://www.instructables.com/id/Make_Shamrock_Cookies_from_Standard_Pans/
The last one looks like a deranged dreidel.
Wow, and that was Target's model cc cake used in their ad! That's pretty bad.
Could that last one be some terrible interpretation of an Irish flag?
@ Tyler:
Re: that last *cake*.
You could be on to something there! (Or, just "ON something". )The flag colors are sort of...there.
Try this: stand on your head and look at it.
(Makes a great party game!)
What I see is a sort of a sad, stringless, fretless,and not very attractive guitar with one hugeass aneurysm.
And no price sticker, or even a "Free to Good Home" sign.
If I don't leave right now, I'm going to cry!
So many complaints about shamrocks vs. clovers... Actually if the leaflets are heart-shaped, it is not clover at all, but wood-sorrel (genus Oxalis). Clovers (genus Trifolium, in a totally different family) have round leaflets. And the flowers of those two plants are completely different.
Number five (the Right Hook) is probably the only circumcised Maltese Cross I've ever seen.
The last one looks like a clover that got ran over by a car, and then a baseball rolled on to it, and a tractor rolled over it and smashed it. And then some teenager spit his orangey red gum out a car window, and it got squished too. Then a drunk (on Guinness) wreckorator crossed the street, and said "dude, that would sell".
Wow that last cake I mean really.. what the heck is it? That is the worst shamrock ever. Or maybe it's supposed to be a psychedelic one since I have a feeling someone was on something to have made that thing lol. As for the rest of them words can't even express the horror of them all.
I never knew shamrocks or clovers could be phallic. Guess I learn something new every day....
It's Kermit giving "jazz hands!"
Kim in ID
Shamrocks have three leaves "4 leaved(leafed?) clovers" have....4. The funny thing is, what most people consider to be clover is actually wood sorrel. Wood sorrel has heart shaped leaves, while clover has oval shaped leaves. :D
I am so NOT surprised that Target showcased that horrible CCC. I actually was kind of intrigued by them the first times I saw them, but I think I sent you two pictures, Jen, of our horrible CCC creations from target. One was a guitar that looked like a shovel, and the other was Elmo with goiter.
wv: jurreari Those of you who feel like lecturing about shamrock-vs-clover after the first few posts should be kicked in jurrearis. :)
If that last one is a daffodil, why is it wearing an eyepatch and yodeling? or is this an homage to The Scream? (now we know the true source of despair...)
First time commenter. and i love the REALLY?! part! Keep up the great blog!
irish flag? like that idea for sure. and i guess i'm now a creep and a four-leaf clover
If you turn your head just right and squint, the last one could almost be a geographically inaccurate map of Northern Ireland...
(I refuse to believe that thing is supposed to be a shamrock).
I was at the grocery store yesterday and saw 2 Wrecks that made me regret not having my camera. The first was a frosting white-out job. I'd never seen one in person before yesterday; they're really ugly! Then, I saw a frosted brownie that said "Happy Birthday Gray." I'm guessing it was supposed to say "Gary," and it wasn't with the rest of the birthday cakes.
hahahahahahaahhahahahah!
Really, I had no idea you could wreck a shamrock (or clover) so badly. Leave it to me to underestimate wreckerators.
I swear that "Right Hook" cake looks like the Blue Oyster Cult logo. http://z.about.com/d/classicrock/1/0/n/K/boc_boc.jpg
Cushlamacree! These monstrosities definitely put the "sham" in shamrock -- or shamMOCK, if you prefer.
When I saw that last one, I thought it was a mangled pair of old socks on a broccoli-flavored Otter Pop!
Erin go Bre-e-e-e-ch!
wv: larla
Toora loora larla, hush now don't you cry!
Guinness, as a beer, isn't a spirit. Spirits are distilled, beer is fermented. A spirit the Irish might have would be whiskey.
How one person can screw up a clover OR a shamrock is beyond me!
Is the NBC peacock green because it was stuffed in with the other St. Patty's Day wreckage?
LOL - As I former Target Bakery employee, I had to laugh at your call out. The sad thing, I've met the people at corporate who think they were SO creative in their St. Pat's designs. Sad. So very, very sad.
Have me laughing to tears! Thanks for the post!
Awww, don't feel too bad, Jen. Shamrock used to just be an anglicised version of the Irish work for clover-seamrog.
I so love the SNL reference, I mean REALLY!
Jen - If you have only ever seen Oxalis (what usually passes for shamrocks in North America) you might actually be delighted by a real shamrock - the leaves are tiny (the whole composite leaf is about as big around as a nickel, on a healthy plant), and the delicate pink flowers are so spring-like and pretty :)
What the hell were these people on? It was like they were told to bake/decorate blindfolded.
Thanks for compiling these and your narrative. Too effin' funny.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR BAKERY
Shamrock cupcake cakes are really quite easy. Take THREE cupcakes and put them together. Draw a little stem with frosting.
Repeat this until you have as many Shamrocks as will feed a party of people. Do not let the Shamrocks touch each other (again, THREE cupcakes in a shamrock, no more).
Otherwise...well, see this post.
LOL! Shamwow! A moldy mushroom with a boil and a mess up on a TARGET CATALOG! TARGET! OMGLOLROFL!