Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Here are the "official" results:
After five sips:
Subject response: "Talk about your seedy humor: I've heard of calling someone a melon-head before, but this is ridiculous!" [attempts to high-five official note-taker] "Booyah!"
After approx. 1/2 glass:
Subject response: [apparently attempting to impersonate Bill Cosby] "FI-BRRR!! FI-BRRR!! AHAHAHAHA-HAAA!"
After one glass:
Subject response: [singing] "PANT-ies, PANT-ies, tralala-LAAA. Wesh shoulda had PANTIES at our engager-mental party." [giggling] "Yeah." [Silence. Then...] "Why don't shou luff me? Thish ish MY job! Zshoo don't care about me!"
After two glasses:
Subject response: *HURK* *HUURK* *BLAAGAHGAHGAHGAH!!!!*
After 2 glasses and 10 minutes:
Subject response: *ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*
So, our conclusion? We desperately need some better wine. And possibly - although this needs further testing to be absolutely sure - some kind of a social life.
You're welcome, scientific community.
Rebecca M., Michael Z., Anony M., & Heather G., I would guess that last thing isn't actually a cake - but it is most certainly a Wreck. Also, are any of you free this weekend?
- Related Wreckage: Wacked Out Wrecks