Wednesday, August 12, 2009

It Came From the Baby Shower...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

In my inadvertently controversial baby post a while back, I told bakers that there's really nothing creepier than uber-realistic baby cakes.

Turns out, I may have to amend that a little.


Realistic? No. Creepy as all get-out? Ohhh yes. Little sweet pea here has a face only a stocking-clad bank robber could love - and may, in fact, be related to the giraffe family.

Disaster can also strike when a baker takes a cutesy saying just a little too literally:

Unless this family really is only growing by two baby appendages. Huh. I suppose they could keep them in a jar...

And finally, this one proves that a cake doesn't have to have an edible baby on it to give people the willies:

Yep, when you see something like this you reeeally have to stop and think: Why oh why didn't they stop with the bassinet? It looks like Ashlyn is encased in icing Han Solo style.


Thanks Michelle B. & Julie Anne D.; these babies are reeeally something.


- Related Wreckage: First Impressions
Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

Ashley is rising face first from the icing. They use that bit for alien-possessed people in sci-fi movies!


myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

Judy said...

At least the spelling is correct. It could have said "To the mommy to be and her sweet little PEE!"

frigglesnitz said...

The first "baby" looks like it has a balloon for a head; the second cake looks like someone's heading for a c-section, and the third...unuckba, which ironically, is my WV.

Wide Awake Wife said...

Creepy! None of these cakes seem to have a complete baby on them, which makes it worse!


mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

Oops. I meant Ashlyn. I forgot her name by the time I got to the comment page.

Stalker v1.5 said...

People! Stop eating baby faces!

Angie said...

Just when I think it's not possible to see yet another cake I could never eat, you come up with more.

BethStev said...

Okay, I'm seeing little sweet pea's face in two different ways.

First: It has a circle nose and a huge smile.

Second: The little circle is its open mouth, and it's sporting a fantastic little beard.

I'm not sure which is better...

wv: halta- halta baker, save a cake.

Heather said...

The 'little sweet pea' reminds me of Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter. ick!

Shannon said...

Even my 7 year old son wants to know what's up with the baby cakes, and I quote, "that's just not cool."

D.B. Echo said...

The first one looks like the baby has made a break for it, and has lft a decoy in bed to fool the bulls until he is safely out of the prison.

Bobbi said...

WOW! That's all I can say. I have to keep sending the baby shower links to my sister to keep her from having any such thing at her shower this month!

Melinda said...

Um...wow. I was with you on the babies that don't look like babies thing. I too see the error of my ways. Especially the feet cake. ::shudder::

Josh (the DMT) said...

Is it just me or does the "pea" baby look like it's neck was run over by a steam roller? Let's hope that the "realism" is not continued under the blanket or some folks might have trouble keeping their cake down! Also, I wonder what a piece of cake from the butt section would taste like?

Josh Metcalf

http://thedmt.blogspot.com

Sam said...

So creepy, so creepy. I just can't imagine going to pick up your cake, seeing these, and not saying "hell no."

Sam
www.anrratedblog.blogspot.com

Craig said...

Peecha wanchee lockhba tang nannee du chonky troy. Ashlyn thawt du mocky chalia.

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho

/Hutt

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Shannon said...

BethStev, I totally saw the first baby as having a beard as well! Now that I see the baby's face the other way, I'm pretty sure that's what you see right before you DIE.

Missie said...

Just one thing to say about these: Wrongitty wrong wrong wrong!!!!

Tammi said...

Ashlyn looks like she'll soon drown in an overflowing basket of milk. Save me, Mommy! Save me!

g. said...

wait- is that a tub of icing sitting behind ashlyn's cake? did the decorator send this one in proudly? =)

Mrs Dai Bread 2 said...

That last one is terrifying. Skill and effort in the basketwork and writing, though - just a truly alarming lack of judgement in the face department.
First one, ignoring its aesthetic problems for the moment, has NOT ENOUGH CAKE, surely? I mean, how many is that gonna feed? It's mostly blanket. (And the head looks worryingly like it might be a giant ball of icing. Ick.)

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Maybe they could transfer the feet to Ashlyn's cake...then we'd have more of a baby!

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

knitorpurl said...

The baby feet is very disturbing- I saw two feet sticking out of a toilet bowl bedecked in flowers. Anyone else see that?

But then again, disturbing describes them all!

Christine said...

Ashlyn cake = Annie Leibovitz photo of Whoopi Goldberg in a tub of milk!

Savannah said...

That last cake bother me. You can tell it's just a head. At least give it some hair or something! It's creeping me out, so much it makes me forgot the creepy ones above it.

Help us adopt!
http://joshandsavannahadopt.blogspot.com

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

Am I weird for - on the last cake - seeing one of those old Holland nuns with the big white hat-thing? And the first one totally looks like one of those babies you make in home-ec out of panty hose that you make your boyfriend carry around for you all week and "take care of it". hehehe

jess said...

OMG, quick someone cut Ashlyn out of the cake and fast...at least her face is up and she can still breathe, unlike that other poor family...by the time they noticed the baby had been eaten by the cake only her feet were left. Such a sad and unecessary way to lose a baby...death by frosting and all.

MamaBear said...

i don't know the bassinet might be even MORE creepy if it were empty. just had to be said...

i'd have eaten the second one until i saw voldy in it - definitely something eating that baby! and no, i don't want to join in.

but yeah, i'd eat the bassinet. looks tasty. just leave the chocolate baby face alone.

VeggieT said...

but Ashlyn looks so happy!

diddleymaz said...

Is it too gruesome to point out when I saw the first one I thought it looked like a rotting cadaver?
and the second one made me think of pro life leaflets and the third one is like something out of a horror movie or Barbarella.

Christa said...

I wanna know where they bought just a baby face...cause that place should be closed down!

mudslicker said...

I'm sorry...but the two feet look like two piles of poo!

Strange Mamma said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought 'C-section'. And is Ashlyn looking at you? She's just staring at me, no matter where I go!

Cake Believe said...

Okay....the first cake.....is DEFINITELY circa 1977 Eraserhead baby! I mean really that was one of the weirdest creepiest movies of all time! Please no more Eraserhead BABIES!

Christina M. said...

My fiance's 9 month old niece is named Ashlyn. Which just made the last cake give me chills TWICE...

As for the 2nd cake, those flowers are shaped suspiciously like horns...

Anonymous said...

It took me FOREVER to actually see a face on the sweet pea...

Terry Lee said...

though the first cake gives me the willies, it's the second one that i can't stop looking at.

those feet! whaaa?! they're blobbish and freakish and if i'm counting correctly, only have 4 toes each.

c-section? definitely. my first impression (but then, i'm a former L & D nurse).

terry lee

Jessica said...

Boy, that first one really takes the cake as the creepiest baby I've ever seen!

Amanda said...

I'm not sure what's funnier...the cakes or the commentary!

LAURA KILLIAN said...

My 2 yr old came in here and looked and say Hey Baby Cake!!!!

Mickey said...

Seriously creepy, all of them! I think it's the look of complete terror on Ashlyn's face that really scares me the most.

And is it just me, or are all three of these cakes sitting on the same counter?

WV: noove -- No one I noove would eat those cakes!

D Dennis said...

Sweet Pea looks like a tree sloth to me...

StylishHeather said...

The "feet" on the second one look like something our dog left in the yard after eating too many sticks...

On the bright side, the "S" on the first one is pretty :)

Homebody said...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! "...Han Solo style"

aha, aha, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Debi said...

Didn't anyone notice that the first one isn't celebrating her "little sweet pea" but her "sweet little pea"? Spell it a little differently and that's WAAAAYYY too weird...

Homebody said...

Jen or John, I wish I could make this clicky for your readers, but I am STILL laughing about the "Han Solo style" comment. TOO funny!
http://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/wrlds/strwrs/pr/img/orig/Episode_5_Han_Solo_Carbonite.jpg

Sorry to put in two comments. Love your blog!

Amy said...

The last one looks like it's in a coffin. Basket shaped coffin.

~Amy B

anaceofkidneys said...

I think the, um, "baby" is supposed to look like a pea, in keeping with the "Sweet Pea" caption.

To me it just looks like an immature clone from "The Venture Bros." Or a baby Voldemort.

Kathleen in Canada said...

All little Ashlyn needs is a shocked expression and two upraised hands LOL

Kiarapanther said...

It looks like the baby in the TV series Alien Nation

Sharon said...

/read comments

Hmmm...would y'all still say that if you met this cake in real life instead of on a blog where you expect a wreck?

Lindberg said...

That first one is Jack Skelingtons baby!

Natalie said...

Doesn't every parent have a photo of their kid in the bathtub, everything but their face covered in bubbles? Looks like that might be sweet little Ashlyn's problem, although I'm not sure babies in bathtubs is really something to celebrate.

The Angry Jackalope said...

The face on the final cake is like the ones on those crocheted toilet paper cover dolls my Grandma used to make. *shudder*
http://www.craftamerica.com/dimple_doll_face.htm
WV: frutbles I like my buffet to have frutbles, like strawberries, cherries and melon.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that last comment about Han Solo made me laugh out loud!

But I have to say, in defense of the first cake, at least I could eat that. Unlike the ultra realistic ones you showed last time.

Michelle

wv: rumpyho - I'm not even going to go there...

sweetest.escape said...

I am so disturbed by the "realistic" baby cakes that I am left speechless.

Joanna said...

You are soooo funny! I laughed out loud when I read "a face only a pantyhose clad bank robber could love." Hilarious!

Stacy said...

That's too bad, the baby cradle thing on its own would have been really cute and pretty.

Erinbob said...

The middle cake looks like an evil demon is devouring the baby, leaving only the feet. The flower horns are the eyes and the slit is the mouth.
Creepy, Creepy, Creepy!

Dea said...

LOL! Yup, totally creepy even when NOT realistic. Love the Star Wars reference, as well...

Rosie_Kate said...

"a face only a stocking-clad bank robber could love" HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Erika said...

That 'two feet' cake looks like it has two angry eyes and a mouth devouring a baby's feet

Bin said...

It really does look like the same countertop for all three cakes, although the first one looks like someone's house.
Those last two definitely look like they must have been taken by the decorators themselves, with all the equipment and icing in the background, so maybe those photos will be going into their portfolios!

Lars said...

Those feet look like raw chicken wings.

Clair Warnicke said...

Where are those baby feet coming from? They seem to be floating in a pool of water? Severed baby feet floating in a pool! Oh the humanity!

Of course the grosser option is the baby is "arriving" from a pool of blue goo? ewwww!

Phoenyx said...

What erinbob said. It looks like a demon that ate the baby, leaving the feet. Closer still, it looks like somebody tried to baby up the face of Oogie Boogie from "Nightmare Before Christmas"

Either that, or they just baked the baby IN the cake. Either way, incredibly disturbing. All of them are.

Jocelyn said...

Am I weird because I think that two of the three cakes are kinda cute? Don't answer that.

Rebekah said...

The third cake's baby face looks like the horrible masks used in Brazil.

Turtlemomma said...

Are the last two pix on the same table??

WV Encetie: Screams outside at her kid "Time to come encetie!!"

Pam Walter said...

Yep...really creepy...all of them! http://blog.sweetservices.com/sweetscandyblog/

Krickette said...

OMG! That second foot one....
it looks like the cake is eating a baby! Look, those footprints look like angry eyes! Ahhhhh!!!!

Nik said...

Ok, so I actually did a legitimate LOL regarding the Han Solo comment.

Well-played. Well-played.

Alex said...

Ergh. #1 and #3 are disturbing enough. #2... well, unlike many people, I do not think baby feet are cute. The ones on this cake go beyond that and are downright revolting. Who thought this was going to be appetizing?

Country Cookin' Mama said...

That first cake is SCARY!!

Melanie said...

I also love seeing the random stuff on the counters around the cakes. For instance, what's that giant thumbtack-like thing in the last photo? What's that for? And the countertops in the all three photos are remarkably similar...

sendingtheclowns said...

Cakes...babies...frosting globs...
yeah, yeah, yeah...BOR-ING!
Yes, they are slightly left of attractive. One might even say: "I Can't Believe It's Not Better!" -for a professional job.
But there are way more fun things going on here. Questions starving for answers!
F'rinstance:
1. Why is Sweet little Pea's cardboard bed hanging partially off the edge of the counter? Pretty reckless, isn't it? Why, the cake could fall off accidentally. Some might even hint at "intentionally"...
2. I don't get why we always cover our under-the-cake cardboard slabs with foil. It's not that much more attractive, and neither is edible.
3. What's really piqued my curiosity is the last one (and here we go again with the edge-crowding).
Was the bassinet awning (in a previous life) a lampshade? Seems like it. Hey- cut it, slog frosting on it, and there's your...well...lampshade with frosting on it. Give it to the kiddies & let 'em lick it off.
And WHY didn't they use that pretty green frosting? It's right there on the counter! See it?
One last thing: What is that thing that looks like a giant thumbtack, sitting there by the cake?

pambamboo said...

Wait! Wait! The first one is a baby from Alien Nation! Remember that great police procedural from the late 80's? And they had a baby too - that's how I recognized, um, 'her.'

sendingtheclowns said...

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...
"Am I weird for - on the last cake - seeing one of those old Holland nuns with the big white hat-thing?"
***
I don't see that here, myself, but I remember being about 3 or 4 years old and afraid of that thing, too. It was the Old Dutch Cleanser woman. What made it super-creepy to me was that she had no FACE, and she was lurching along holding up a big stick.
*shiver*

Cake Believe said...

To answer the question of the "thumb tack" in the last pic....that is called a flower nail. Decorators use it to create frosting roses on a rotatable surface and then transfer the flower to a cake. Some bakers use it as a heating core in the center of very large pans to ensure even heating during the baking process. It's not out of place at all.

HuianaSukari said...

I see it in the first one, its "swee' pea" from popeye. Wrecktastic, nonetheless. the other two, well, i cannot give redemption.

evil cake lady said...

Craig! Your Jabba the Hutt comment was priceless!

I totally want a baby-in-carbonite cake someday.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

So sad, the third cake had a lot of potential.

sendingtheclowns said...

Cake Believe said...
"To answer the question of the "thumb tack" in the last pic....that is called a flower nail. It's not out of place at all."
********
Thanks for clarifying!
That's a nice little gadget to have around. Would these be available in both clockwise spin and counterclockwise spin versions (for both righties and lefties)?
>^~-^<
Idea: When not being twirled in the name of flower creation, I'd bet these things could pinch hit as a deterrent to anyone's sitting on the countertops.

Nettie said...

they sure are freaky looking cakes...ewwwww

Aaron T. said...

Rebekah, my thoughts exactly regarding the second cake's resemblance to the horrible Brazil baby masks!

Lauren Golightly said...

Those cakes are ALMOST as creepy as baby showers themselves.

Solo said...

Aw! Love the first one! ;D And the third cake is co cute! Like the color, purple and pink. ;D

Solo
Travel and Living
Job Hunt Pinoy

geenei said...

The second cake, the one with the feet, looks a hell of a lot like there is a pastel monster devouring a baby. The weird rose tear drop type things (what were those even intended to be?) are the sinister glaring eyes.

Diane E. said...

Here's what I like best about the last cake - notice how the mixing bowl and icing is in the background? What the heck was the green icing for? Were those shades of pink and purple just not wrecky enough?

Sonya said...

First I have to say that I love the theme of your blog - very creative and entertaining.

And yes, I agree with you about the cakes in this post. They are a bit much. They don't look appetizing at all.

Anonymous said...

looks more like the Annie Liebowitz VF photo shoot of Whoopie Gldberg in the milk bath, LOL!!

Catherine said...

On the baby-drowning-in-icing-cake--

Did the _decorator_ or someone else at the bakery send that in? Since clearly all the decorating supplies and frosting are also on the table. Maybe that's a can of beer, and that explains it?

Mira8 said...

Once again the comments make a stupid cake into a hilarious one: "encased in icing Han Solo style" ... I am dying at this!

Anonymous said...

The first one reminds me of a video installation piece at the Milwaukee Art Museum:
http://www.mam.org/collection/details.php?ID=M1998.136
That piece freaks me out as much as that cake!

eatingmachine said...

when i have a baby i'm so making a cake like that. cause then no one will want to eat it and my pregnant self will get a whole cake... mmm...

Jessica Wolfe said...

Good lord, that first cake looks like a piece of Tony Oursler video art; which is something I'd NEVER want to see on a baby shower cake.

Jessica Wolfe said...

Heh, it appears that "Anonymous" above me had the same idea.

Bree said...

All three of these cakes would have been so nice if no body parts were on them. You should never put severed feet and headless babies on cakes ever, unless those kids are going to be born on Halloween.

Anonymous said...

My husband thinks the baby under the blanket looks like Voldemort....

Lynn said...

Oh, NO ! Who employs these people and what the heck were they thinking when they created such horrid cakes ?

I got a good chuckle out of the Han Solo style comment because I was thinking the same thing ! LOL

no longer hungry said...

Totally agree that the baby feet cake looks like a c-section. It's bringing back painful memories. I had a breech baby (thus a c-sec) so for a moment in time, that's what my stomach looked like--a big slit and two baby feet.
OK, go enjoy your breakfast, folks.

Carrie Miller said...

These remind me of the "It's Alive" movie, major creepy!!

Feisty Irish Wench said...

My baby shower is tonight...I know the host well enough that I can trust no cake like this will be on the table. But I wait with what little breath this baby leaves for me to see just what IS there.

brianne1975 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
brianne1975 said...

The Ashlyn cake was most likely not submitted by the baker but that is the display cake on their website: http://www.leesonscakes.net/gallery.php?id=63&mode=1&cat=Baby%20Shower%20Cakes

Anonymous said...

OMIGOD! IT'S LOOKING AT ME!

Olivia