Monday, August 17, 2009

A Day in the Life

Monday, August 17, 2009

...of a Wreckerator.

TO DO:

1. Practice handwriting/piping skills

...a lot.

2. Finally beat the deli guy at Pictionary


3. Mark down the moldy "green velvet" cakes

Or maybe just put the same price on them, only in a big red sticker.

4. Get in touch with inner child. (Something artsy?)

5. Find out what this "Cake Wrecks" thing everyone keeps talking about is.


Fawn, Danielle B., Beth O., and Alix H., now you can check "become official Wreckporter" off your lists.


- Related Wreckage: It's a Wreck Off!
Lola R said...

naturally since our camera's died i keep spotting truly disgusting cake wrecks. it's killing me that i can't capture them!

wv: bousheru- derisive appellation for baker with sub-par skill set

Josh (the DMT) said...

My guesses for Pictionary would be (from top left, clockwise):

High voltage towers
The creepy video from "The Ring"
Pink spaceship
A scene where the Road Runner just ran out of the frame.

Josh

http://thedmt.blogspot.com

Maggles said...

Oh my goodness, what is going on in that second cake? Is the lower left corner supposed to be the Eiffel Tower?

MarliO said...

Oooh, I love the Pictionary cake. It leaves EVERYTHING to interpretation, doesn't it?

Wide Awake Wife said...

Wow. . .on cookies. . .huh?

mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

The green cake made me want to not eat breakfast. :(

Judy said...

I love that the last one so obviously looks like that decorator dragged her fingers through the icing ;-P

Inventing Weddings said...

I love that the Pictionary cake could really mean anything: Wedding, birthday, National Crayon Day...the list just goes on and on.

Fluffy Cow said...

Oh come ON! What is WRONG with these people???

Tracy O said...

Jen, your commentary just makes my day!!
WV: scommin: Jen, are you scommin us? Are these for real?

Elizabeth said...

I was very confused about the second one, until I saw the Happy Birthday pick, that clears everything up! And really the last one isn't so bad, as long as that groovy design was not created by draging a finger through the icing.

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

Kira Zobel said...

I want to know what was going through their mind, of both the decorator and the person who ordered #2. XD

And NO at moldy cake. No no no ew.

Terry Lee said...

i'm not even sure where to begin with these wrecks.

it's all so v. confusing. writing on cookies? whaa?!

do i see a "happy birthday" on that bizarre upside down "marble" cake?!?! WTH?!

on closer inspection, i'm relieved to see that the moldy mess is actually an "emerald isle" cake. of course! it's for a st. patty's day celebration!!

wait. the sell by date is 2/08/09. not anywhere near st. patty's day. worrisome.

and finally, are my 40-something eyes deceiving me?! they don't really want $24.48 for that piece of finger painted crap, do they?!

that is all.

terry lee

Michelle S. said...

I think that third wreck needs a bigger sticker! :p

Bushchicken said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
darkshines said...

The pictionary one gave me a total e-wreck-tion (that complete WTF moment where nothing in the world makes sense for a few seconds and you need a cigerette afterwards). What the hell is going on there?

danielle said...

So glad to finally become an official wreckporter! These cakes are just sad.

frigglesnitz said...

Uh, what, or who, uh...the second cake. Does anyone have any idea what that represents? Anyone? Bueller?

WV: lifin- The wreckorators must have been lifin some good stuff at the in-store pharmacy, if they thought those were good.

Anonymous said...

this is one of the best post in a while

sendingtheclowns said...

No no no--those small things are SUPPOSED to be green, so let's be "fair".
Look at the label; it reads: "EMERALD ISLE VLVT CK" which means that it has SOMETHING to do with theoretical Ireland. And we all know that green is a major Irish...thing... okay?
It would've been a bigger sell if they'd popped 'em out there for St. Patrick's Day, though--instead of at the beginning of February.
Maybe worth the $1.99-- who am I to say.
=^ee^=

Anonymous said...

Those first 3 ... Wha???

Is the green on pine flavored? Ugggh.

I do like the arsty sunburst though. Not $25 worth though.

Alex

WV: Codstib - ? Maybe that's what the pictionary cake is dipicting.

holly said...

It's rather upsetting to a Wreck-reporter wannabe. The local store-that-shall-not-be-named has had a decent decorator for awhile now. Not only do her roses actually look like roses, but she makes pretty carnations, daisies, mums and assorted other very identifiable flowers. She has mad edging skills, ie: ribbons, rosettes, flounces, piping and all the rest. I rarely see airbrushing. And every cake I've ordered has come with pretty and correctly spelled inscriptions. sigh....

Judy said...

okay, I think the pictionary cake is representing some of those little steel ball games. You know the ones you had to tilt and move the little ball around to go through a maze. At least that's what the top two squares look like they might be. Problem is, it looks like it was drawn by a 2 year old.

DangGina said...

The "green velvet" cake is moritfying...

Judy said...

the date on the emerald isle cake is 02/08/09 So it's either February 8th or August 2nd. If it was made for St. Patricks day it was either a month old by St. Patricks day or 5 months old after St. Patricks day. Either way...Eeeeeeeew!

sendingtheclowns said...

Pictionary squares: upper left corner--telephone poles on steroids / train tracks on speed
upper right: (with any hope) a portal to another dimension, far, far away...
lower left: a buoy, floating on water, of course. It's so obvious.
lower right: boredom, personified
****
@ darkshines:
Copy THAT. Got a light?

Julie said...

They've moved on to cookies thinking we won't notice???

Morons! If it comes out of the bakery and has frosting on it, it's fair game.

Mandy said...

WTH is that 2nd cake?! Someone was having loads of fun making that cake.

The last one looks like a reproduction of a Dale Chihuly glass sculpture!

Diana said...

I kinda really like the third one. Its so, well moderne (pronounce it "mo-DARE-n") and really quite nice.

I would do that for an art studio party, or an art class party.

The first cake is sort of what a kid would do when left alone in a room with a box of cookies and a tube of frosting.

Greeny? Well, heck I bet you could put that cake in the lunchroom fridge safe in the knowledge that the office food stealers (you people know who you are, gimme back my brownie! And my BLT1) wouldn't touch it.

Keesler Chaos said...

I love the pictionary cake!

Upper left: Telephone poles
Upper right: Time warp
Lower Left: Eiffel tower
Lower right: wind

Put it all together, and you get: A time traveler miscalculates his landing place, falls past some phone poles on his way to being impaled on the Eiffel tower on a windy day!

The Keesler Kids

wv:factumb-a ferry dumb fact

Mikewind Dale said...

I think the second cake (the Pictionary one) is some sort of perverted take on Snake or Chu-Chu Rocket.

To paraphrase the Talmud: "Anyone who has not seen the Japanese advertisement for Chu-Chu Rocket has not experienced true joy in his life."

sendingtheclowns said...

The last one looks to have the logo from Looney Tunes in the background.
This particular "cartoon" could be titled: "Tie-Dye Creature from the Blecchh Lagoon."
(That'llbe that'llbe that'llbe-$24.48!! --THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!)

=^!!^=

Amy said...

Oh-so-ugly really fits here!

Moldered cake--Penicillin, anyone? Ugh.

~Amy B

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

I would feel bad taking the first cookie and ruining the beautiful piping!

grimperspective said...

I think that pictionary cake is possibly part of some psychological evaluation for wreckcreators. I do kinda like the psychedelic sun thingy...now all we need is a little Bob Marley.

Chris, Gina and Hunter said...

Wow. I don't remember seeing any thing that looked as bad as the green cake. And I have seen 20 year old building cakes that looked more appetizing. The last cake reminds me of the creations at our local super-Target. They are always meh, and super overpriced.

WV: Sharps

Them wreckerators shur are sharps to come up with them designs.

Lucia said...

oh my!
who would buy a moldy (looking) cake?!?!?! not me!

Amanda in Austin said...

Is that really mold??!!!

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

The Little Red Hen said...

"I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham."

...or green cake for that matter.

ros said...

Pictionary:

Weaving
Labyrinth
Ballerina
Broken TV

Also, icing onto a box of cookies? Yup, that's a great way to celebrate the holidays.

Debbi said...

Wow. I'd like to know who thought a "green" velvet cake was a good idea ...

Nevan said...

Really? really? Why? How?

Annette said...

I'm thinking the pictionary cake is trying to be clever and make "Happy Birthday" in pics. I think the round green thing is a pea, and the lower left is a buoy, but I have no idea what makes square #1=hap and #4=day.

There are no words for the green velvet cake other than... hell no.

The last one... makes me want to fingerpaint. But not something edible.

Mitzi said...

Ugh...the green cake makes me want to puke. Ewwwwww.

Lesa said...

You know, I usually don't mind strangely-colored food. Doesn't bother me. But the green cake really turned my stomach! (I think I'll go take a pg test). That shade of green was a poor choice.

edesiasnotebook.blogspot.com

WV: "skupet" as in skupet off into the trash please!

cewmont said...

NO WAY. Tell me no! those were seriously not real cakes (and cookies) for sale.. no-no-no! shaking my head in total dismay.

Nearlydawn said...

Sorry, I kinda like the finger-painting one. It makes me think of craft time with my kid. :)

Then there's the other 3, where I will totally refrain from commenting. My mommy said "If you can't say anything nice... comment anonymously".

BillyD said...

I like the sunburst one, too.

the Provident Woman said...

I can't understand the pictionary one. I don't see it.

Doublebanker said...

Who writes on cookies anyhow??

DB

___
Up for another GifAway?

denestria said...

The Pictionary cake looks like the result of bring your child to work day. "Okay, son. Here is some icing and a cake you can decorate. Now keep quiet while daddy gets some work done."

On the starburst cake, they probably messed up just as they were about to finish the design so to salvage it they did a little finger painting and called it "art".

Miranda said...

But I thought child labor was illegal. Surely no adult did these?

VW: clusifu

Wow, what a clusifu the bakery must have been! (cluster-f***) lol

Christine said...

I kind of like the color sunburst one.

The "green velvet" is probably one of my pet peeves where someone took the cake and didn't want it so left it out by the pickles and someone else brought it back so it was subjected to alien molds!

homeschool mamma said...

bad psychadelic cake trip on the last cake. Real bad.
Bev
www.homeschoolgardener.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I think that the Pictionary cake is supposed to be the view from a window. The birthday person must be at camp and sees (clockwise, from upper left) pine trees (I don't draw them like that, but I've seen people who do.), the sun, a calm lake, and a tent (or maybe a fire tower).

By the way, this cake is clearly worth the $14.97; look at all the fun we are having with it.

MariaTeresa

Nintendo Floosie said...

The one with the price tag just looks like a big brick of mold... What a steal at $1.99

Maddy said...

Ooo my. Definitely needs some work.
Cheers

StuffCooksWant said...

Green velvet cake... mmmmm. Must be leftover from St. Patrick's Day.s

El Comodoro said...

Too bad the plastic box in the first one is too small to hold the towel that was thrown in.

On the last one... can we get confirmation that one's not actually made of stained glass? I've seen that in the back of a church building, I'm telling you.

captainjackmakesport.blogspot.com

Lorraine said...

I can't believe they're charging +$26 for that last one. Sheesh! What nerve.

Anonymous said...

My nephew is allergic to red dye, so my aunt made a green velvet cake at Christmas...once. No one like it and swore it didn't taste as good. I think it was purely visual.--jules

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Moldy cake??? YUCK!!

Great post!!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Christina M. said...

Glad I'm not the only one who thought the last cake resembled a Chihuly sculpture. ;-) As for the pictionary one, I had a mind to think that it was a "practice" cake for a new decorator trying out different tips and colors, which was accidentally put on the shelf. I like this reality better than the alternative. ;-)

holly said...

Anon, re the red dye allergy -all the red velvet cakes I've had have been made with beets, not food coloring. Getting past the 'ick' factor of beets in cake, you do *not* taste 'em and they make the cake so deliciously moist that it's just scrumptious. And it looks a heck of a lot better than green cake.

Cheryl said...

The green cake...xp Nausea-inducing. The others are just really, really bad. Seriously, do they have no standards when it comes to who they hire to decorate cakes?

Morgan said...

WHY DID THIS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BEATLES

Aviatrix said...

Your explanation of the pictionary one made me hyperventilate from laughter.

Joy Winner-or-Whiner said...

What a cool unique blog concept.

Carrietastic said...

I kinda like the finger-painting one. Yum.

Peachkins said...

Oh. My. God.

Just wow.

Rosemary said...

The green cake looks for all the world like it's frosted floral foam. Y'know, the kind you just can't resist sinking your fingers into, 'cause it has that weird spongy-yet-crunchy give? Mmmm....tasty.

Raine said...

So, there is always some totally lame comments on how the cake isn't a wreck or some nonsense. Today, I was actually looking for that annoying comment because I really want to know what that pictionary cake is supposed to be. No convincing guesses - can it be?

Cat said...

you know, once you take away one of those cookies from the first picture, the message is useless. not that it was very impressive to begin with. haha.

Nami said...

I do believe that the pictionary cake might, MIGHT actually be Avatar : The last Airbender related.
If you look closely the pictures vaguely resemble the four elements. Water, Earth, Fire and Air...

THen again, I could be wrong

Summer said...

What happen to the second cake? =d but i think i enjoy them a lot. =D More...xD


Summer
Writers Den
Brown Mestizo

janet2buns said...

OMG tell me they are NOT trying so sell squares covered with a layer of green mold!!!

Lucy said...

Come on, people! The last cake is quite *clearly* the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Vicky said...

I can't get over the PRICE that they want for these wrecks!!

Michelle Booker said...

Hi,

Unfortunately, it's National Soft Ice Cream Day. Cupcake day is Dec. 18th... http://www.tfdutch.com/foodh.htm

-Michelle B

Christina said...

Ah, silly people, the first picture is not cookies with icing, it is a cake SHAPED and DECORATED to LOOK like a standard grocery store box of cookies. Very clever, no?
;)

maxon said...

What the hell is ... you know what? That's fine, I'm good. I don't need to know. Thanks.

Pamm said...

I think #4 is a Battlestar Gallactica reference ala "Kara Thrace is the harbinger of the apocalypse".

Jennifer Knight said...

I actually made a cake with moldy green frosting when I was a kid experimenting with colors - just add some of this,a dash of that, a sprinkle of that one, and voila, super ugly "Happy Anniversary" cake for my parents.

Alas, they divorced the last year. I refuse to take responsibility!

Jessica Martiele said...

#4 actually HURT my BRAIN. I'm still struggling to process it. I keep looking at the center...and then my peripheral vision picks up the blue background...and then the white edging...but refuses to accept that they are all in the same space. I think I need an aspirin...

Anonymous said...

am i the only person just commenting on the title? haha, that song is stuck in my head now, and i'm pretty sure its going to stay there for a while. ;)

Anonymous said...

I think the person that said, "Annette said...

I'm thinking the pictionary cake is trying to be clever and make "Happy Birthday" in pics. I think the round green thing is a pea, and the lower left is a buoy, but I have no idea what makes square #1=hap and #4=day.

There are no words for the green velvet cake other than... hell no.

The last one... makes me want to fingerpaint. But not something edible.
" was on to something...

If the first picture is of pogo sticks then it would represent the word "Hop" then "Pea", then "Bouy" but I still can't get day out of the last section.