Monday, January 26, 2009

Why So Serious?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Superheroes have it rough, too. I mean, there's the tights, the endless amount of bullets ricocheting off their rock-hard pectoral muscles, and of course all the women throwing themselves in their paths. (Obviously I'm talking about guy superheroes here, but if you'd prefer to think of Wonder Woman with rock-hard pectoral muscles, more power to ya.)

What, that doesn't sound so bad? Then allow me to introduce a new Wreck series: Caped Catastrophes. Today's first lucky victim? The Bat Man himself.


Here Bat Boy rides out of a plastic drain-pipe on a magma slick in glorious celebration of "Brian Day". Um, are those things on the side supposed to be bats, Clarissa D.?

Then there's the continuing drama between Batman and the Batmobile:

"Wait - come back! I didn't mean it! I DON'T miss that new-car smell, honest!"

I agree that the door in the brick wall is a little odd, Ashley W., but what I really want to know is how the Batmobile can leave a cloud of snow-white exhaust shaped like a hibiscus flower. These Bat gadgets - they just get cooler every year, don't they?

Fortunately Judith C. reports that 'man and 'mobile appear to have made up here:

"Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!"

Christal W. found the best toy-to-cake ratio out there:

I'm not sure if "River" is the birthday person's name, or if - in the tradition of Wreckerators everywhere - the decorator just labeled the cake what it's supposed to look like. If that's the case, then s/he must have meant "cascading river of blood, cement, and mold". But, you know, that probably wouldn't have fit.

([sigh] Again, yes, it's "professional". I checked the site and everything. C'mon, a little credit here?)

Now remember, kids: crime doesn't pay. Right, Batman?


But you know, all these cakes are totally cheating: they each use plastic Batman figurines! Why aren't decorators actually drawing the caped crusader?

Oh. That's why. Thanks, Nicc.

[shifty eyes] Um, and can I just say that that's an unfortunately appropriate placement of the "pp"?

Aaaand I'm done.


Have a superhero Wreck you've been meaning to send me? Then send it in soon; I'll be continuing the Caped Catastrophes theme over the next few weeks.
fleeting said...

Ah! I saw one almost identical to cake #1 in my local Safeway, but my phone's battery was dead so I didn't manage a picture! Good to know that there are better, more fearless Wreckporters than I... that thing deserves to be seen!

Anonymous said...

It looks like Batman got ran over. And squished.

Hyena Overlord said...

Holy crap cakes Batman!

What a mess.

The p's should be back to back*evil laugh*

wvotd pateri: a pasta made by letting your terripoo pat it flat with his/her paws.

Dahnks said...

New shirt needed with this saying "Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!".. just about spit my 7-up all over my computer screen!

Leslie said...

Holy toxic orange oil slicks, Batman. That first one is just scary. Actually they're all scary. And thanks for pointing out the wonderful placement of that PP.

Liz said...

I haven't laughed this hard at a Wreck in a while- peopl emight be looking at me funny soon. The Batman being abandoned by his Batmobile is HILARIOUS!

Anonymous said...

Is Batgirl wielding a sword on that one wreck? Hey, wait a minute. That's the Tim Drake Robin on the same cake, and that's the Barbara Gordon Batgirl. Barbara was paralyzed before Tim became Robin.

I declare that cake to be non-canon.

All Adither said...

Robin must be bitterly jealous of the batmobile. I know I would be.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

MzHartz said...

I kind of like the placement of the candles on the top one. But does the bat-bike have an acid orange oil leak?

Kathryn H said...

Shouldn't the "River" cake been a part of the body part cake entry?
Is it a cancer?

Bittersweet said...

Cashing Crime?..I don't get it...

At least we are back to cakes that make me want cake. After Holy S**t cake last week I wasn't sure I wanted to eat cake ever again. These actually look delicious and wrecktastic.

sarraphim said...

Oh my good gosh, so funny! Yeah, Bat Man they screw up enough... wonder what they've done to Superman?!

RobinMarie said...

you forgot to mention that timmy's cake has pink on it. poor thing.

Melaina said...

Did anyone else notice that the 1st cake is for a 20 year old (if the number of candles reflect "Brian's" age)??
Can you say living at home w/ mom & dad in the basement?

Donna said...

Did the last one say "Marvin" or "Melvin"? It made me think of Jeff Dunham's puppet...Melvin the Super Hero.

Amanda said...

Wow. I'm about to make a Batman cake for my son's birthday. Hope it turns out better than these!

Mary said...

The CCC was lcose, though. One or two more and it'll be something special.

nikki said...

i wonder if that's supposed to be 'crushing crime'?

Lisa said...

The last one looks like Al Bundy wearing a Batman costume.

Persnickety Ticker said...

With enough blue frosting right and left to make mothers everywhere cringe...

Thanks for the PP giggle...oh, and Hyena Overlord? Your mind is just completely in the gutter...I like that in a person!!

Heather said...

As a Metropolis resident I had to wonder, where are the Superman cakes?

Kate said...

Ok, this is giving me serious reservations about my son's request for a Batman cake for his 4th birthday. How do I not screw this up?!

Morgi said...

I should know better than to read this while eating. I think I just aspirated Cheerios.

GrrAce said...

May I point out that in the UK 'batty boy' is homophobic slang for a gay guy, so its use to describe the caped crusader was quite a shock to me until realised you probably didn't know that.
There you learn something new every day.

Glory von Hathor said...

So, I missed Brian Day AGAIN this year? Rats. Where the hell was I?

Next year...

Was the parade good?

tat2kitten said...

great new wreck theme. and i LOOOOVE batman. poor guy, reduced to ccc's and epic battles atop weird mountains of icing that isn't a color natural to anything in God's green goodness.

Kristin said...

Bwahahaha...thanks for the laugh with that last CCC. The placement of the PP made me laugh.

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

that's AWESOME!!!

On a side note - I just saw the new Batman movie at Christmas and loved it. ahhh... Christain Bale. Enough said.

The Ferber Family said...

I'm just wondering how those huge arse plastic batmen are going to fit in those itty bitty batmobiles... anyone? guess maybe that's his hidden superpower? he's a human shrinkydink?

Chuckles said...

Is it just me or is Batman hailing a cab on the second cake? And could someone please put "Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!" on a t-shirt?

WakeGrace said...

i ACTUALLY ordered cake #1 for my dad ( biggest batman fan i know) BUT thinking of CakeWrecks i pretty much asked for everything different. hahah. I asked for No blue or Black icing and instead went with a white/ slight grey. The though of eternally blue intestines made me sick. and the magma was out too. it actually came out to be a good looking cake. if you change everything!

also. I was so excited...Batman is my absolute favorite superhero! I mean i'll admit I'm one of those women throwing themselves in his path when i see those tights and bullets ricocheting off their rock-hard pectoral muscles.

MalMal said...

Am I the only idiot who can't figure out what a "pp" is? I mean, I'm expecting something phallic, but I can't for the life of me find what it could be on the cake... You'd think I would know these things after reading this blog EVERY SINGLE DAY....
wv: things. Just... things.

Jacq said...

I was scrolling down through the photos and thinking 'gosh, I couldn't eat any cake with that much lurid blue icing on it', and then I came to River's cake: the cake that looks like slurry. Suddenly, lurid blue icing looked strangely appetising by comparison!

Lildonbro said...

I was laughing so hard!

...until the river cake, that one stopped the laughing and triggered the gag reflex.

Anonymous said...

Well, of COURSE Wonder Woman has rock-hard pectoral muscles. Female superheroes need them too. The muscles just aren't as visible on women, that's all. The ricocheting thing could be a problem, but presumably whatever protects Superman's skin (not to mention his shirt... shouldn't it look all tattered after he deflects a burst of machine-gun fire?) would also protect the female superhero's other, um, attributes in that area. (With Wonder Woman it's not even an issue, since her wristbands handle the bullet-deflecting duties.)

Why does Batman look like he's kicking back and relaxing in a... turret? strangely designed hot tub? whatever that is... on the "cashing" cake?

Melanie said...

The "Cashing Crime" cake is probably supposed to say "Catching Crime". It was most likely a phone order that was misinterpreted. Haven't we learned our lesson people?!? No phone orders!! :)

hessica said...

i <3 legless batman ccc.

DangGina said...

that "river" cake is one of the ugliest things i've ever seen. it seriously hurts my retinas. and that batman ccc is...also hideous.

know what's funny? the word verification thingy actually has the word "suck" in it. that's funny...

Shana said...

I read this blog everyday and I usually don't leave a comment, but I had to today. This post was one of the funniest posts here in a while. I was seriously laughing hard. Oh my god, more of things like this please.

alexlady said...

the last one looks like batman is trying to dress up as Hedwig for Halloween.

Allison said...

I've seen every wreck you've posted, and this one is now in my top 5, right up there with mohawked-naked-carrot-riding-babies...you're commentary is priceless!!

Suzanne Dargie said...

All I can say is: "YIKES!"

Amy said...

Poor Batman. He can't get no respect.

Pam said...

I recognize that plastic oval Batman insignia...it is from dual purpose Batman/Superman Wilton kit I used to make my son a Batman cake about 15 years ago. It had a head and torso shaped pan that you baked the cake in, then decorated with the appropriate colored frosting using the "Wilton technique" and affixed the appropriate superhero face and chest emblem. It was the first and last I ever used black frosting!

Christa said...

Oh I almsot fell out of my chair about the "PP" thing. You are so funny!

Ted S. (Just a Cineast) said...

The "River" cake looks like an elementary school science fair volcano. It's not a river of blood; it's lava. How it got turned into a cake, I'll never know.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought Batman was getting run over by the Batmobile in the cupcake cake.

Mad Hatter said...

you make a good point on the plastic figurines, i always see plastic toys representing Batman

Tara E. Bergin said...

"Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!"

Thank you for that, it made my day :)

Mahou said...

Oh gods. Thats horrible!!!

On a side note, I just saw a commercial on the food channel that there is going to be a wedding cake competition. I'm waiting to see what comes out of that.

(first time commenter here, btw. Found the blog yesterday!)

Tammy said...

*wipes tear from eye*

I love the "I didn't mean it" comments. Poor Batman, what was he thinking when he said that? Maybe KITT could be a temporary stand-in. Now that would rock.

Table for Seven said...

SWEET! Brian day, yet another day in which I have an excuse to eat cake!

Callisto said...

It looks like Batman is trying to hold his pants up in that last one. Maybe his Utility Belt isn't working?

Ooorrr maybe he is pulling his pants up because he just went... peepee?

Did I seriously type that?

Freezair said...

I think the Batmobile lost a LOT more than a wheel here...

The Joker should be THANKFUL he got away.

Bonnie said...

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for your comments....It's Monday and I'm hitting the afternoon blues portion of the first day of the week....and the commentary on these gems just completely revived me!

My fav is the cake with Batman trying to convince the Batmobile to return...and the hibiscus smoke...

Wreck on Caped Catastrophes!

Bonnie B

PS...MalMal...'pp' is referring to the placement of the two p's in 'Happy'....which is why Hyena Overlord said that they should be back to back...hehehehe ;)

Anonymous said...

Wow, my 10 year old nephew summed it up best regarding the first cake: "It looks like a cheese oil slick!"

Yuck.

Anonymous said...

Ummm why is Batman fighting a dragon and you're right about the mold!

Katie M. said...

lmfao human shrinky dink! I love it!

Jossie said...

That first cake? Yeah, that's an actual kit. You can thank Bakery Crafts for that one...half bats and squished "flames" and all.

Pirate Alice said...

What is Brian Day? Do you have to be named Brian to celebrate?

TwistedSerenity said...

*lmao!* Im speechless...no really! ha ha!

Julie said...

Brian Day?? Where have you people been?

Brian Day is that beloved holiday which we celebrate by dressing up as leprauchauns while hopping around the Christmas tree. When the wreckorated cake is lit in the town square by the town cupid, it's time to retire for the evening. The Easter Bunny will leave quarters under you pillow while you sleep.

It's a wonderful holiday. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who celebrates it.

MalMal said...

Ooooh.. thanks. Apparently I expect everything to be a blog acronym. I kept thinking "pp..pp.. piping? piss poor piping? No, that's three p's...."

Jennie said...

PLEASE tell me you're going to do a Sunday Sweets Superhero post?! I'm planning my 25th birthday party this year, and the theme is Comic Books and Graphic Novels, and I have no idea what to do for a cake, and these so called professional attempts are very disheartening!

MariaTeresa said...

I'm impressed that "Happy Brian Day" didn't come out as "Happy Brain Day". Well, OK, maybe I'm actually a bit disappointed.

Anonymous said...

I read all the commentary and captions, and finally cracked at "why is Batman fighting a dragon?", I spat cocoa all over my keyboard! I'm definately making a shirt with "Blasted baked balls of blue" on, its just too good!

Calantha said...

I'm glad I wasn't drinking or eating. I think I'd owe the cafe owner a new keyboard. Still giggling at " Blasted baked balls of blue".

eureeka said...

I throw my vote behind "CHASING Crime" for the intended spelling.

But seriously, what's up with the river cake? Is it some sort of unholy compromise? Maybe the kid wanted Batman and the parents had already planned a Renaissance Faire-themed party? With a name like River, I wouldn't doubt it.

sendingtheclowns said...

I too DEMAND to know why Batman is reclining recklessly on cake #5???
(VERY unprofessional of a superhero to be napping while in uniform!!!)
It looks like he slipped on the smooth surface of the way-out-of- proportion buildings (?) and got stuck.
Cake #3 looks as if the Batmobile had been spinning doughnuts in a parking lot made of blue & yellow frosting, while Batman surfs the rippling waves on his mini surfboard.
No telling WHAT shenanigans these two will be up to in the next episode! Stay tuned!

evil cake lady said...

This post is one of my favorites! Batman pleading for the Batmobile to come back is just plain awesome, and the whole PP thing...priceless.

Erin said...

I just love how even though they have plastic batman pieces to use, they still manage to screw it up by writing "cashing crime" on the side. LOVE it.

dizzy mom said...

Wow...my avitar has never been so perfect. I can't wait for the Wonder Woman wrecks! As far as Batman's "pp" I didn't even notice...thanks for bringing it to my attention.

Misty Dawn Photography said...

I LOVE this blog! You crack me up every day with these cakes! I follow it in my Google Reader and although I've never left a comment before, I'm leaving one now to let you know that I'm giving you a Blog Luv Award! You can check it out here: http://mistydawnphoto.com/blog/?p=304

meg said...

For the record, copyrighted characters are technically not supposed to be drawn on professional cakes without crazy amounts of permissions... not that that stops the smaller bakeries, generally... But anyway, that's why so many plastic figurines.

Hall Monitor said...

Bat-Mobile lost its wheels and the joker got away!

Camille said...

Oh my heck! The comments about the "pp" hilarious. Love your blog.

jackie31337 said...

MariaTeresa said... I'm impressed that "Happy Brian Day" didn't come out as "Happy Brain Day". Well, OK, maybe I'm actually a bit disappointed.

Or maybe it was supposed to say "happy brain day" and they got it wrong. It makes about as much sense as "happy Brian day".

On a side note, I have a cousin named Brian who was born when I was just learning to write and spell. He got a lot of hand-made cards addressed to "Brain" from me as a baby.

K said...

I think the third one is paying homage to Van Gogh's "Starry Night." Just a guess though.

MONKEYBIZ23 said...

I can here it now, "Yo, Wonder Woman! Fly yo little fine self on over here and have a look at my super canole. Yeah girl, that's right." Somebody get me a barf bag QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

WV: micracke Mi cracke up at these cakes girl!

Toriisen said...

Why is Jimmy's name in pink? Manly Batman cake accented by a pink border?

Ms Unreliable said...

That pp was totally planned. Unlike the rest of the cake.

Anonymous said...

Batman #3 must be into hip-hop, judging by his saggy tights.

---Bree

T. said...

LOVED this today. Poor Batman.

Here's a link for "useless superpowers" that I found the other day... Hilarious.

http://superuseless.blogspot.com/

Goes with the whole super-hero theme. :)

Trevor said...

Jen,

On an unrelated note, I was wondering if you're planning to go to the ICES convention in IL this year. I think any of your readers who go should get together and have a meet and greet!

The Chic Cakery said...

In that first wreck it looks like Batman is driving out of a colon... I'm just sayin'.

Robyn said...

Where I work, we have to use the plastic figures because of copyright laws. We're not allowed to draw ANYTHING copyrighted, or we could lose our job and get fined.

Linda said...

"But you know, all these cakes are totally cheating: they each use plastic Batman figurines! Why aren't decorators actually drawing the caped crusader?"

Unfortunately, us decorators are not allowed to draw any licensed material, no matter how much a customer begs, pleads and gets pissed off because they already bought all the "stuff" for the theme. Those gray blobs on the blue Batcycle cake are supposed to be round rocks, not spikes! Geesh..

love your commentary as usual!

Azucar said...

Can I just say, I love this blog. I read it when I need a good hearty guffaw. It's cleverly written. Major props to y'all.

EDP said...

Phew. The Batman cakes are a stitch — just horrible execution!

ladyrazorsharp said...

As a craft-store Wilton alumnus (and my mom before me), that last cake brings back memories. Poor guy; he looks more like The Tick than Batman. Not saying I could do much better but still. Poor guy. The eyes freak me out.

"Cashing Crime." Was this made for a bank? And if so, I don't know if that's an occasion for celebration...

River cake...Oh, boy. No words. They tried so hard...well, I hope it at least tasted good.

Okay, must stop laughing...people are beginning to wonder what I'm doing over here. *snicker*

klasieprof said...

Oh man...I wonder how JIMMY felt having all that PINK piping on his cake...


Donna in Mid Michigan...freezing...

Hannah said...

i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say "crushing crime," not "cashing crime."

alexlady said...

I like glam-rock batman there. what a luxurious head of golden locks.

Anonymous said...

I'd like these cakes more than any professional-made stuff. Shows people really do care.

rpk said...

My 5 yo son looked at cake #2 and said -- it's got a wall! It's not a cake, it has levers! What happens when you pull them?

He's got a point. What are those things?

solvency ii said...

maybe they found that cake in the "river"?

J Mikhaylov said...

But...but... I sent you a "why so serious" superhero cake gone wrong pic over a month ago, and you didn't post it! :*(

Anonymous said...

Looks like "Batman Chasing the Batmobile" is a common theme in cakes:

http://thepartyworks.com/images/product_images/large/batman-jackcake-7-30-06-shaw.jpg

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker, first time commenting here.

I no longer feel guilty about the Buddy Christ dashboard graven image I have on my Freightliner anymore.

The word verification is "sainti"?!?

Maulik Panchal said...

i like chock let cake

Anonymous said...

I have nothing important to say - but this just DESERVES to get to a hundred comments !!! ;¬)

beloved30 said...

PP! I almost pp-ed my pants laughing!

Danielle said...

Im a cake decorator at Walmart, and I think its hilarious that a ton of these cakes are from there.. hahaha.

sugarycreations said...

The toys on the cake is because of copyright issues. Very few if any bakeries have the right to do a cake like you are talking about them doing. Would cause huge legal problems for them. The baker of the cake you praised so highly might not appreciate your compliment especially if it brings her the attention of whoever enforces the copyright of Spiderman

Anonymous said...

The cake second from the bottom... It looks like there is a pair of glowing blue eyes reflecting in the display case... now thats disturbing. perhaps batman's nemesis?

Hannah said...

Thank you Jen, honestly without your comments I wouldn't find half of these cakes so funny. Ugly? Of course. Funny? Probably not.

Zannah said...

... iwanted a Batman cake for my 16th Birthday....now i'm scared to order one!

Craig said...

#1 "When you close your eyes at night, do you still hear the bats scream, Clarissa?" I know the name isn't an exact match, but I couldn't resist. Maybe they're screaming because they were made to perform aeroBATics.

It looks like Bat Boy is jumping out of a giant pram ('old-fashioned stroller'), though that still doesn't explain the neon orange goo.

'Brian Day'. Let's hope that was the kid's full name, and not the start of another dastardly trend in word economizing. I know the point was already raised, but there sure are a lot of candles...

#2 looks like Batman was teaching Robin to park just as Tinkerbell made an unfortunate appearance in the wrong story. Poor Timmy. Poor, pink Timmy. Maybe he and Brian will have the same therapist. All in all, it's just another door in the wall.

WV: exesse. Exactly.

Craig said...

Ah, Jimmy! Or is it 'Simmy'? Definitely not Timmy -- there are no collies on that cake.

Poor kid -- that cake even makes his name ambiguous.

What's the deal on the last specimen -- the background looks like mac & cheese. I so hope not -- I like that particular dish and want to keep eating it without hearing that theme song playing over and over in my mind...

Cupcakes Lady said...

Cashing Crime? eh?! xx

Anonymous said...

I now understand how the bat mobile lost a wheel though I feel the joker ran in this particular case

Craig said...

Bat*girl* is fighting the dragon (at least, I hope that's Batgirl). With a sword. Now it all makes sense, right? Except for Robin being an Elvis impersonator...

wv: santerea. Except for spelling, what I think might have been involved in the 'River' cake.

stalkers_can't_be_stalked said...

My favorite one was the third one :)