Well, one out of three ain't ba....no, actually, that IS bad.Never mind.
Ok, I have to admit it: when Anne-Marie mentioned the "terrible towels" in today's earlier post, I had no idea what she was talking about. Fortunately, a reader has informed me that these are yellow towels Steelers fans like to wave about during game days. (I suppose it's too much to hope that this is a tradition somehow inspired by Douglas Adams?) Heh, you sports fans make my wearing a Bajoran earring to a Star Trek Convention seem almost normal.
ANYway, so knowing about the towel thing helps a little when viewing this cake:
ANYway, so knowing about the towel thing helps a little when viewing this cake:
But you still have to wonder: did the baker feel even the slightest pang of irony?Oh, and remember a few ages back when I made a crack about how next bakeries will be decorating our loaves of bread?
Behold!!
[shaking head] Well, at least they used dough instead of frosting. That's something, right?Now, I can only assume this next one was made by a baker who knows even less about football than I do:
That, or s/he is venting some pre-game frustration.Many thanks to Krista W., Catie P., Diana W., Jennifer H., and Corrie R., some hoopy froods who really know where their towels are*.
*If that last statement baffled/consternated/frightened you, go here.
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Surely you meant hoopy froods.
Amazing froods? I'm sorry, the correct term is "hoopy." As in "Sass that Jen. She's a hoopy frood who really knows where her towel is."
At least they spelled "terrible" correct...
Sorry, sorry! I fixed it. ;)
My mom made a Terrible Towel cake for the Superbowl in 1976. It was a basic sheet cake wit gold icing and black lettering, and crushed oreos as fringe (some of the towels had that back then).
It looked a lot better than that mess.
Gee, those cakes reflect just how I feel about the Super Bowl and football in general.
But the bread? BREAD? Do I really want a glob of chocolate (I assume) icing on my ham-and-swiss sandwich? *shudder*
Oh man, I am so kicking myself for not getting a picture of a cake I saw at Wal-Mart the day before the Championship game here in AZ. It said "Go Cardinals!", but the colors of the cake were yellow and black. At the time I thought the decorator was color-blind. Now I know she was psychic!
Still, these wrecky Cards cakes hurt my soul. They just can't catch a break, even with cake decorators!
>> (I suppose it's too much to hope that this is a tradition somehow inspired by Douglas Adams?)
Unfortunately, no. The Terrible Towel was created by the late, great Myron Cope (Yoi! Double yoi!) Well, sort of. It was his idea to wave towels at games, and a local department store, sick of having all of its yellow and black towels sell out, created the Official Terrible Towel.
The lovely thing about them is that Myron Cope's son, who has autism, is at a wonderful facility out in Coraopolis for people with various mental and physical disabilities, and all proceeds from every towel sold around the world go to support this school and a couple of related facilities in the area (I used to work at an in-patient facility for children with MR and autism,and we received Terrible Towel money there).
So yes, we Pittsburghers are intensely aware of the irony of Terrible Cakes (I had a Terrible Cupcake earlier today, and many people were making appropriate jokes while talking to the baker) and Terrible Cookies and Terrible Muffins. And we are damn proud of it.
I always travel with my own towel, you never know when you might need to use it to wipe off a table at the restaurant at the end of the universe...lol!
I wonder if they just put Go Cards! on the cakes - would they even have spelled that correctly? So funny. I've been checking the cakes here in Phoenix to see if anyone would dare put out a cake like that to sell here. None so far - phewwww!
A lovely story from today's New York Times about the origin of the Terrible Towel, and the lasting impact it is having on some folks with really significant disabilities. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/30/sports/football/30towel.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
Hee. The cakes are painful. I'm also delighted by your dorkiness.... I usually dress as Major Kira for Halloween, and occasionally wear my Bajoran earring to work. Hm, if I can find it today, I'll wear it to D&D tonight. :D Maybe I can convince my gaming group that we should game instead of watch football this year...
Why does the "Terrible Cake" make me think of Kraft Cheese Singles?
And I wonder if these wreckerators have just never seen dog poo before, otherwise I would think they would stop using globs of brown stuff to decorate things.
I didn't know anything about the Terrible Towel before this week, either, but this story explains them - and it's really sweet:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/30/sports/football/30towel.html?ref=football
I can only guess that the last one is what a football would look like after a run in with a steam roller.
I've got four Terrible Towels on the back of a chair right here just waiting for Sunday... Pittsburgh is so proud of our Terrible Towels and their legacy. Never thought of making of a Terrible Cake, though, I'll admit... the wheels of creativity are turning...
Jen,
You've got a heart of gold.
Love,
J Rob
Douglas adams, Star Trek, AND a Wreckspert? *swoon* what more could a boy want?
so long and thanks for all the cakes ;)
I have more than misspellings on my mind when I see the double "cardnials" cakes. What is the lower cakes sposda be shaped like? Field goal posts, or worse: hand-standing football players with their team name draped across't the crotch?
Does the bread cake look like nothing else but feces-frosting? Srsly.
As a fandom costumer my usual retort to accusations of 'why do you waste your time with that' or 'dressing up is for kids' is that what we do is no less ridiculous than the people who paint themselves and act like idiots at sporting events.
I've always found it tragic that chocolate looks just like poo.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
ah! I love the Hitchhiker's Guide series but I had no idea about towel day!!!
That last "football" (and it really deserves the quotations!) cake looks alot like a horribly botched CCC masquerading as a horribly botched regular cake...
All this football talk, and what I'm wondering is whether I've ever met you at a con! Mine are Weekend On The Promenade (San Diego and Burbank), and Slanted Fedora in Philly, Oct. 2001. (That was a fun flight!)
I have DS9 on the brain! (And have never actually watched a football game, American or Canadian.)
I got BOTH the towel and the Bajoran earring references! I'm both sport-savvy, and a geek!
My daughter is named Kira, but we didn't go so far to use Nerys as her middle name (but we were tempted.)
I like the decorated bread.
I had no idea about towel day, but I am already prepared for the next one - I made my own Don't Panic towel when the movie came out.
LOVE that you are a sci-fi geek. I dressed as a Yeoman at the last convention I went to, and my boyfriend was Data. *swoon*
Anyway...uh...great blog post about the football cakes! Not a fan of football, but always a fan of cake wrecks.
I have my towel and am ready for the next wreaktastic adventure! (also the fact that you just used that in a post made my week!)
Star Trek AND Hitchhiker's references, all within ten minutes of getting out of bed today? This is a good sign, indeed. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I've been a lurker here for a while now - LOVE the blog. It always make me laugh and cringe at the same time. I wanted to say something on this post, though! I LOVE that you mentioned both Hitchhiker's Guide and Star Trek! I actually own a Bajoran earring, and I understood all of your sci-fi references perfectly. I wanted to hug you!! :) Thanks for keeping us all entertained.
The loaf of bread hurts my feelings.
The last one looks like it's sad - dismayed at being such a misshapen football?
Hitchhikers...Crazy book. Nice allusions to it.
I love it! These are some great ideas-- Just in time for the big game.
I'm a Steelers fan and I think that even I can handle the Terrible Towel cake. I bet it'll be a huge hit!
Cardnials...at least the misspelling decorator is consistent.
Terrible Cake...oh yeah! I totally want that now!
It's a daisy...it's a snowflake...it's a football. I bet it's also a soccer ball, basketball and baseball if needed!
WV: polorti: I think you need to reverse the polorti of the icing bag so you can spell more gooder.
Hoopy Froods, hehe. So glad to see a proper guide fan online. I do love your geekyness Jen.
Anyone who doesn't get the hoopy frood quote shouldn't really be reading this blog i believe
I love the last picture. My 5 year old said "Mom! It looks like a smushed football! It needs air!"
Too cute!
The pics on this site make me cringe so hardcore...but I can't look away. I just stare and try to remember to shut my gaping mouth.
I rarely literally laugh out loud, but that football SPLAT got me!
ROFL!! I love the Terrible Cake and you are a Hoopy Frood!
I can't believe I didn't know about Towel Day ! Thanks for the heads up!
Your posts make me laugh out loud no matter how bad a day it's been.
I recently gave my 9 year old nephew my StarFleet Communicator pin - now I want it back! But he loves it so it's in good hands.
Some of these cakes break the "Cardinal" rules of decorating! :-)
TERRIBLE CAKE
I love it. I want to buy it. I'm not a Steelers fan, don't even live in the same country, but... it's so bold.
popkernels said...
I have more than misspellings on my mind when I see the double "cardnials" cakes. What is the lower cakes sposda be shaped like? Field goal posts, or worse: hand-standing football players with their team name draped across't the crotch?
The lower cakes were cupcake cakes that were supposed to resemble goal posts with ginormous footballs flying at them.
What the picture doesn't show, because i snapped it after pointing out the error to a store employee who promptly removed the cakes, was that the "Go Cardnials" cakes were two of four that were ALL MISSPELLED.
When i went by the bakery a few minutes later an annoyed-looking decorator was scraping off the "cardnials" with a spatula.
I think the last one should have the title "Suspender-Wearing four-eyed frowning amoeba".
Thank you so much for the "Towel Day" info...I had no idea! (and here I thought I was a hoopy frood..gah). I have, on the other hand, been accused of being hip, although I have no trouble seeing past my pelvis.
Super Bowl Sunday is simply a day to go out and enjoy crowd-free activities while the throngs sit in front of their TVs, IMO.
Wreck on!
I had no idea there was a Towel Day! I'll keep mine with me on May 25th. ( like I don't all the time anyway, who knows when your planet will be blown up?)
um, i don't think that bread is decorated with dough OR frosting. i think it's decorated with what i scooped out of the cat box this morning.
Hmmm Yummy!
Just found your site and am CRACKING up over these cakes!! I LOVE it! Your blog will be a regular read from now on. You put a smile on my face. Thanks!
i like how not only was "cardinals" misspelled, but it was written in the style of the baseball (St. Louis) Cardinals' logo. nice work!
The world can't be too bad if one can find a blog that intertwines awful cakes and Hitchhiker references.
I only have three terrible towels (jealous of the nice person who said they have four!) and I live in Arizona. I'll be the only Steeler fan at the Superbowl party, and I'm bringing all three towels.
It's sad really, because I like the Cardinals and I respect their success... if they were playing any other team I would be totally rooting the other way.
Back during my supermarket-baker days, we actually did make football bread.
This was raisin bread pinched into a football shape, then you wound pipe white icing stitching on after it cooled.
They didn't really sell that well, but the mark-up was high.
Isn't the cake in the last picture (you know, the one that looks like a "your mama's so fat" joke) in fact a dreaded Cupcake Cake? That might explain the football that wanted to be a star.
I love that the decorator looked annoyed and was fixing her cake mistake.
I am totally LOL on the heart of gold comment, but I appreciated a little Douglas Adams humor to get me through football cakes.
Thank you for the Douglas Adams and the Star Trek references. They made my day!
Hey I make football bread....
Mine even sorta looks like a football.
http://bike-riding-donut-guy.blogspot.com/2009/01/go-out-for-pass.html
Er...I just gotta say..."terrible towels" is by no means a technical term. In baseball we call them rally towels. The Rams called them Rammy Wammys. Anyone have a more universal expression?
These cakes crack me up! You find the craziest cakes ever. Love your blog.
-FringeGirl
Living in the Steel City but not being a native (I'm from the enemy city of Cleveland), I camouflage myself by waving a Terrible Towel. However, like you, in my head I secretly think of it as homage to dear D. Adams.
thanks for the HH ref - made me smile!
LOL. The cakes are awesome, but the Douglas Adams references made this one of my favorite Cake Wrecks posts of all time! You sure are a hoopy frood. Note that my screen name is labdogs42, surely you can tell I'm a DA fan?
Talk of big spiralling bits of poo! That 'dough' on the bread looks like an unfortunate incident that occurred in the bakery's washroom. :) But, at the very least that loaf gave me a lovely excuse to say poo.
Well, as we all know, it's really cool to take vowels out of words. The Steelrs are embracing the future and going the way of Flickr.
Verification word: odsips. Fairly applicable for a blog about awkward food...
Um, WHAT number Superbowl does the bread-decorator think this is? 43?
I laugh at your blog daily and I've been trying to get my hubby to join in this sick & twisted daily routine. I should have known, that the belly laugh he had wasn't because of the cakes but due to your Star Trek comment.
Thanks for the Douglas Adams reference! I just saw something on the History channel about a cloud of ethyl alcohol in space that has been discovered, and I was so sad that he missed learning about it. *raises pan-galactic gargle blaster in toast*
At least the writing on the Terrible Cake is well executed with no spelling errors.
Isn't it a requirement that cake decorators know how to spell? Well, I guess not.
Ladies,
I am disappointed that you are not getting with the programme in terms of a non-judgemental approach to spelling and punctuation.
I used to be like you. I was very pedantic about these things. Until I realised I was being typecast as a 'grumpy old man' or 'dull middle aged guy'.
And where's the sex appeal in that ? No, I've realised that to hang with the kids, one has to turn a blind eye to poor spelling and 'text speak'. And spelling the 'Steelers' as 'Steelrs' is just a little logical progression on the way to texting 'Go Stlrs !!'.
Has my sex life improved as a result ? Not yet, but one lives in hope...
i nearly died when i saw that terrible cake! i just moved back to pittsburgh this year, and we actually have a "terrible tree" (xmas tree in only steelers themed decorations) up at the courthouse. and i mean a giant tree, it's a 30 footer.
Hahah This hoopy frood is rooting for the Cardnials, but that Terrible Cake is hilarious
FYI both baseball teams in the Bay Area called them "rally rags". Neither seemed to have very stable lettering after a wash.
well, great. one of those looks like a loaf of rye bread with lettering made of poops.
as a kroger bakery employee (who is happy to see none of her cakes have made the site!) I wanted to tell you that in regard to the football bread, district offices make us do that. We think it's as stupid as the rest of you do :)
Am I the only one who read the first cake as "Go Gardenal"?
okay the funky looking football cake.... I have a theory... could it be a cup cake cake?
I totally have a Bjoran earring that I got at a Star Trek convention when I was 13!! Woo hoo!
Reasons I love Cake Wrecks:
- Witty commentary
- Cakes that make me look like I'm a great decorator in comparison
- References to one of my great passions, sci-fi, constantly.
It's frellin' sweet.
Oh yay!! Douglas Adams references, I am so happy. I love him and this website, both make me laugh. :)
Jen, you'll be happy to know that the football world has taken notice of your fabulous blog. Cake Wrecks and Kissing Suzy Kolber (an NFL humor blog) are my two daily blogosphere visits, so imagine my joy when KSK used this image for their superbowl open thread...and properly credited it to you. link here: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/02/ksk-open-thread-1-pregame-show-ennui.html
Convergence of my two favorite blogs=best day ever. Also best day ever cause the Stillers are world champs again!
I am dating a football player and I know only about three things about football and one of them is that the ball itself is not shaped like that last cake.
You totally missed a cake pun!! That last one is a cake made for a football star!
'Some of these cakes break the "Cardinal" rules of decorating'. I so agree...laughing at other peoples ..hard work...if thats what you can call it lol xx
COol!