Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Now THAT'S What I'm Talkin' 'Bout

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I'm pretty sure I would have ordered this cake back in high school:

Yep, back in my teen glory days I was that lone female in the convention-going, calculus-loving, and occasionally kilt-wearing* crowd. We spent our spare time calculating the dimensional mass of the various Enterprises, learning useful terms in Klingon, and saying things like "I believe this calls for a colorful metaphor". It was awesome.

Seeing the ol' Enterprise D here in all her crookedly displayed glory brings it allll back. In fact, I think this cake is a metaphor for my formative years: it's awkward looking, slightly imbalanced, has large gaps of inactivity, and is easy to misunderstand ("prooper"?) - but despite all that, it still has a good heart (right over the 'i'- see it?).

Hey, diskgrunt, "tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh’a’"?

* Don't ask.
gorgon said...

I think you said it all...

Mari said...

I like the angle, it looks like it's moving into frame!

Lacey said...

Dochvam vIDop net pIH'a' ?

Doc said...

Conventions? Star Trek? Calculus? Klingon? I knew there was a reason (or reasons) I liked you!

nuqDaq yuch Dapol?

Anonymous said...

You can't stretch this one.

It says "Prosper" not "Prooper" but nice try.

It may not be up to your Sunday cakes, but I don't see it as being a wreck so much.

Uneven? check...Not professional looking enough for you? check...

but the prooper? You can't have that. I saw prosper - sorry the cake decorator lady wasn't in YOUR handwriting class in third grade.

Winona said...

I probably would've gotten that cake, too...

Carrie said...

I might speak Klingon if you asked nicely ;)

Bethany said...

Hurrah for high school awkwardness, and a cake which exemplifies it. This cake just makes me smile, even if that blue icing makes my teeth hurt just looking at it.

Liz said...

This is a cake my husband would have wanted back in high school and even now! He's a nerd to the core- even does grown up versions of D&D gaming and such. Nerds rule!!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Oh, I'm glad I don't know what you mean by that.

Nef said...

Awwwww it's so [i]cuuute![/i] I find it hard to call it a wreck when it's more trekkie than wrecky.

At least they didn't garnish it with bloodworms, Q'plah!

patrice said...

Funny! Not that I know you at all, but I would NOT have pegged you for a Star Trek geek.

Bryna said...

This is great. Great use of space there, wreckorator!

alisaz said...

Jen,

You are incredibly awesome.. seriously.. I swear, if you weren't married, and I wasnt married, and one of us was a guy and I wasn't socially awkward and we lived in the same country, I would have totally hmm not ever get enough courage to talk to you hehe

Anonymous said...

Live long and prosper!!

We definately need more Star Trek cakes! I keep expecting a replica of the wreck of Troi from Data's dream to show up on here.

I am also a rare female Trekkie, so thanks for being you!

Alex

KPP said...

It looks like a cursive 's.' I don't think cursive was good choice for this cake in the first place.

I was also a geeky Star Trek watching female growing up. I would have loved this cake. Heck, I'd love it now. Its not like I grew out of it.

Do you know how excited I was to see one of my new friends reading a Star Trek book? She was now my new BEST friend.

Madame Hook. said...

DaHjaj 'oH Qaq jaj Daq Hegh.

Don't worry. For my 10th birthday my parents took me to the Star trek Hilton in Las Vegas. I spoke Klingon almost the entire time.

I seriously want this cake now, no matter the spelling.

Caitie

Alice said...

It may not be the wreckiest wreck, but I'm glad you shared it for a couple reasons: number one, your always-enlightening commentary, and number 2, I have a great idea for my husband's birthday cake now!

The musishian said...

Oh, this is wonderful. I turn 30 in two days, so this is the perfect birthday present.

My friends and I never went so far as to learn Klingon, but I did host a "How to Host a Mystery: Star Trek: Edition" for my 15th birthday. And my best friend wrapped a bedsheet around a cowboy had and made a pretty awesome Guinan, IMHO.

Oh, and we created an original Star Trek "fan fic" type show with a female captain that wound up being very close to what Voyager eventually wound up being.

Oh, and although the spacing is definitely gangly on the cake, I do need to defend the spelling of "prosper." I am almost certain that it's a cursive "s" there, and not "prooper."

Anonymous said...

Wave your Dork flag high!

JennyKitten said...

I'm gonna ask (mostly just cuz you said not to):
So what is there to tell about the kilt wearing?

he he he :)

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Is that period really necessary?

Also...

I am getting this cake for my grandpa on his birthday. Great idea.

carrie said...

Ah, a girl after my own heart. Sci-fi geek sugar lover!
I have boy/girl twins, so I had lots of naming possibilities, but I resisted the temptation to be THAT parent. They did dress up as Luke and Leia for Halloween when they were 5 though.

Leigh said...

As a girl who tried to get 1701-D for her license plate in high school, I too would have ordered this cake; but the Vulcan/Type A person in me would have been made nauseated by the crooked and badly aligned picture and writing.

Give the decorator a ruler and have him/her "make it so!"

non-non said...

Is this a cake!?Fantastic!XD
I can't to eat it too beautiful.
I have never seen such this cake!:)

Anonymous said...

No, no, no...I saw prooper at first too, even though I (too) knew what it was supposed to say. What P'tachk made this cake?
Oh, and I think that the space above the writing is where you are supposed to put your Spock hand prints (Grauman Chinese-style).
\\// Live Long and Prooper!

Anonymous said...

OK Jen, THIS explains everything about you and your literary genius!

Taryn(intrekdenial) said...

hahaha.

ahh, the goofiness of high school nerds (myself included).

Gotta represent!

The fiance would be proud of it.... Mr. Trekkie that he is. lol.


WV: Press: I love the press-on quality of the picture. It look very authentic.

lawgirl said...

Jen, I think we could have been good friends back then (this, plus your love of Ghostbusters? WIN!!!!)

And re: the cake-- I absolutely *love* the period at the end. Resistance is futile!

Christina said...

I would so totally order this cake this very minute. I must now retire to my nerdery and fondle my Next Generation DVDs. :-)

Julie said...

Just when I think you can't get any cooler ...

I'll be first in line to buy tickets to the first Cake Wrecks Con!

D.B. Echo said...

I wonder if the person ordering the cake gave the instruction "Leave room for the action figures"?

Poetry Sue said...

I would still order this cake!!

joan said...

Now my husband will want this cake for his birthday!

Amy said...

"Captain's Log, Stardate 29.67:

Today Spock helped to make my birthday celebration complete by ordering a birthday cake with my favourite ship on it! Wow. Uhura has more talents than she lets on..
It's my birthday cake, my ship. You can't have it! No. One. Will. Have. My. Ship."

Ooops. Sorry. But that cake is really good!

~Amy B.

Davey said...

Sorry to burst your bubble but the heart over the "i" is not a heart but the shadow from the immense dot of icing.

Also, I watched Trekkies once and, while I'm a nerd myself, you people are a little weird.

BreeAnn said...

My friends and I ordered a cake similar to this one (only it was ice cream) for our friend Rick in high school. We were all in the same boat... a little ackward, and totally digging star trek. We even made our own movie version. LOL

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

awsome!!

Anonymous said...

Terrible. That's The Next Generation Enterprise above the Original Series catch phrase.

FAIL FAIL FAIL WRECK!

Don't call me Kat said...

Nerd alert! ;-)

Lacey said...

Whoa, weird that somebody got all up-in-arms about the "prooper" bit.

Because I totally looked at the cake too fast, and I managed to see "Live Long & Pooper". Totally not any better.

becca.elpy said...

heh, i watched that show as a kid...always confused me.
for the record i thought it said 'live long and pr(infinity sign)sper...which might have been klingon for something. *shrug*

Calantha said...

Yeah, cursive was not the best choice for this. I completely misread that as "Live Long and prooper" too. Then I realized the decorator meant for that letter to be an S.

you know what else makes this a wreck? It feels unfinished, like they forgot add at least two things that would have made this a kick-a** cake.

Mazarin said...

If I'd recieved this cake when I was about 14, I would have died and gone to heaven. I didn't make with the Klingon so much, but did use my Technical Guide to the Enterprise D to make a scaled drawing overlain on a map of my town, just to see how big that old girl really was.

Ah, the glory days.

Marian said...

Why do I suddenly envision a cupcake cake in the shape of hundreds of tribbles...

Becky said...

Sometimes looking at websites involving food make me hungry & I try to avoid them during peak snacking times. Cakewrecks, however rarely induces me to much. I appreciate that in a blog. Thank you so much for keeping the munchies away and injecting wit and sarcasm! A winning combination!

Nihilady said...

OT - don't forget to vote for Jen!
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-food-blog/

Mad Izatie said...

...as long as the blog doesn't go on past this point in Klingon, I'm ok.

Eloni said...

I used to be a Sci-Fi girl geek (hell I still am) in my High School Days at Bronx Science. There was nothing I loved more than Dr. Who.

-Eloni

Sandi said...

Tribbles! Ha! [wiping tears from my eyes]

Laura Moffitt said...

This cake brings back WAY to many memories!

Anonymous said...

I DID have the license plate 1701-B. The only one who recognized it was an autistic kid. I guess my grown children are right, I am weird.
weegranny

Threeundertwo said...

Space: the stuff you leave a lot of between the skewed picture and the lame cursive writing.

Karen said...

oooooh...we would have been friends.

Karen said...

Oh, PLEASE make it an assignment for someone to track down the Data dream cake. You know that someone has had one made. It's out there somewhere. Pretty, pretty, pretty please!!!

Wun Elle Tee said...

There is nothing wrong with the picture. Enterprise-D is just banking to the starboard in order to engage a Klingon Bird-of-Prey...

wordwitch said...

AND...did you all hear???They've made a Star Trek 11!!!!! It's of a YOUNG J.T. Kirk and a YOUNG Spock!! It looks horrendous!!!! Betcha it was written by Shatner....

drgns4vr said...

Not so much about the cake, but I only saw Star Trek twice. The second time was while visiting my brother in England--and it was the same episode I'd seen before. Sigh.

Teri said...

I bet you love to watch the Big Bang Theory, don't you? :) Me too!

Anonymous said...

Sort of OT, but all these store bought/made cakes are really starting to aggravate me. So little taste and imagination. Square cake, white frosting, one color borders. So generic. Ugh!

Shadow Rider said...

This is great! I too was a female trekkie, and would have totally ordered this cake back in the day. Actually, I would order it now probably, LOL! Still go to conventions, have all the movies and series on dvd, bookshelves full of the books. My son has all the ships (they make sounds!!)
It's all good fun.

Shadow Rider said...

By the way, did you know you can set your Google page to be in Klingon??
:-D

Vinca Leaf Quilts said...

OMG...this all makes sense now...

My daughter (age 16) has been a Trekkie since she was about 9. Has a soft spot for Reading Rainbow because of LeVar Burton. Gave her best (male) buddy a kilt for Christmas this year. Loves Calculus...and has this wacky sense of humor...

Um, Jen? Are you missing a kid? Like, for a long, loooooong time?

(She loves CW just a *little* too much, too!)

Rebecca

Harley Quinn said...

If only this were a "Conan the Barbarian" cake, I would have found the perfect thing for my Hubby's b-day!!

Anyone know where I can find a non-wreck CtB cake?

Kristin said...

I knew there was more to why I liked this blog than the humor and cakes. Another slightly geeky Star Trek fan is a fabulous find.

Leslie said...

I see either Prooper or the infinity sign that another poster mentioned. Prosper I do not see...that is a very sloppy S.
I don't think it matters whose third grade class the cake decorating lady was in. I think it matters that if you're going to be a "professional" cake decorator you should at least be able to make coherent letters that are above the quality of third grader.
Is it just me or some of the anonymous posts lately getting very snippish?

Fluffy Cow said...

S or no S... I see prooper too. So funny!

Anonymous said...

Hehe, unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your perspective) no need to explain the kilts. The only thing you left out is the carrying around your own hand crafted sword too. ;o)

I see an "pooper" and upon closer inspection a "prosper." Doesn't matter either way, the fact that you can see a pooper anywhere on the cake is well...wrecktastic!

Kassiane said...

I love this cake, actually.

But I'm the lone girl with a group of (sometimes kilt wearing) sci fi watching D20 tossing guys. So take that with a shaker of salt....er...sugar...

word verification: consia-new title for girls who frequent cons of this nature?

slycreations said...

Cake-loving geeky girl here too...
I never learned Klingon, but I used to track all of the Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition. In fact, several of them fit with this cake, specifically "Always know what you're buying," and "Satisfaction is not guaranteed."

Anyway - I agree with the anonymous poster who is saddened by all the "generic" looking cakes being churned out. there was plenty of room to turn that blue border around the Enterprise picture into a television set or movie screen.

Kristin aka kjnohr aka Trekkie Gal said...

I'd order that cake NOW! Of course, I would hope it would come out looking a little better than that one. :)

PS It does kinda look like prooper, but it does definitely say prosper. ;)

Fyrefrog said...

Ugh! Impostors, all of you! How can so many supposed Star Trek fans scrutinize this confectionary abomination and not point out that the 1701-D was from ST:TNG while the quote "Live long and prosper" was popularized by a character that (mostly) appeared in ST:TOS!?

To be a truly congruous cake, the picture should either be of the 1701 or 1701-A, or the message should be something like "Make it so."

Trekkies? Wreckporters? None of the above.

...way to go. You've gone and made me all weepy. *sniff*

Donna said...

The writing almost looks like "Live Long and Prooper"

Anonymous said...

I dont think anyone knows a thing about the copyright laws!

I admit, it drives me crazy. I work in a bakery and I will not use an image without a copyright release! Its all straight and narrow for me. :-p

Misty

American Girl in Japan said...

I feel so left out. I don't speak Klingon. DAMN IT. Anyone habla? だれでも日本語を話すか?

flavolgal said...

Ah! Cake wrecks casual viewer...resistance is futile...you will be assimilated. (At least this is how I feel). I think my husband, the grown geek, would have perfered the green orion slave girl cake. Let me know if you find one of those.

Jenny said...

I'm starting to see a whole "Wreck to Order" theme going on lately. Yesterday's sick theme cakes and today's enterprise look exactly like something that certain people would specifically ask their local baker to make. Heck, the Trekkies probably brought their favorite picture to the store and asked for the bright blue icing. But the rest of America will look at these cakes and say, "Wait; what?" Mind you, I LOVE seeing this kind of wreck. I think people are nifty each time I see one of these.

PS - yes, I said "Trekkies," 'cause I kick it old school.

kimberly said...

Hey! I was that girl too! I knew there were others out there :)

Bob said...

We spent our spare time calculating the dimensional mass of the various Enterprises...

At the first high school football game I ever attended, all I could think was how many football fields it would take to equal the length of the Enterprise-D.

(Because I know there are fellow nerds watching, a Galaxy-class starship is 642.4 meters, or 702.65--just over seven football fields)

Heather said...

OK, I've laughed until I've cried over your posts before, but this one tops them all -- you made me laugh because you confessed to being a geek. I love you, now.

btw, I can't help thinking female trekkies aren't that rare since all the true trekkies I know are, indeed, women.

Alison said...

Wow, were you me in high school? Even the kilt-wearing.

That said, wow. This cake gives me a little bit of vertigo, a little bit of nostalgia.

diskgrunt said...

That blue icing took about a week to brush off your teeth and tongue. And apparently took some time to wash out of some folks hair...

Anne said...

so much better than the one i made my my little brother when we were kids, complete with a deformed starfleet badge drawn in white icing on chocolate :)

katphoti said...

The only useful term I knew in Klingon was "Your ship is a garbage scow," and I can't remember how to say it anymore. BUT I do own the Klingon dictionary! Does that count?

We had just enough friends in our geek group to be the entire cast of TNG, including Dr. Polanski and Guinan. A black guy even played Geordi. The girl who played Troi had gorgeous, long curly brown hair, and she made communicator badges for all of us. The girl who played Dr. Crusher had bright red hair. I was Ensign Ro because I had dark hair and could be a real bitch. We bought a ST:TNG murder mystery game and we all dressed up in costume and went to a friend's house to play it. We also set up a bridge in another friend's living room, with a couch being the Captain, First Officer, and Counselor's chairs, and Laz-E-Boy recliners with TV trays for the comm stations.

And yes, we were seniors in high school.

oddharmonic said...

Fyrefrog, I feel your pain. And if you wash your hands before touching the book, you are welcome to page through our first edition Star Fleet Technical Manual, complete with my husband's childhood signature on the front overleaf. (I almost cried when I saw that, but it was done long before we met.)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but for the commenters complaining about "Live Long and Prosper" being a ST: ToS phrase, I hate to pull the Trekkie nerd card and say that it's not just a ToS phrase, it was used in all of the series at one point or another. It's a common Vulcan phrase and one of the most recognized phrases from that universe.

I am not nerdy enough to actually know Klingon (thought about it, but never followed through), but I know a guy who, at one Halloween party went as Arthur from HGTTG. The host of the party greeted him at the door in full Klingon regalia speaking the language. Without prior planning for this scenario, he pulls a Sweedish fish from his pocket, puts it in his ear, and instantaneously his friend switched to English mid sentence. Much more nerdcore than I am.

I am not

=Tamar said...

The extra space is probably to put the recipient's name in.

RubyT said...

You aren't the only girl into these things... but I knew that about you when you referred to something as your "personal Kobayashi Maru." Only a true Trek geek would say that and take it as a given that she'd be understood.

--Ruby

MrsFierceShoes said...

Have you seen this website?
http://www.slipperybrick.com/2008/11/25-awesome-geek-cakes/

It's hilarious!

jengersnap said...

You're far from the only trekkie gal out there, but you've been in my upper echelon of cool nerds since your Kobayashi Maru comment several posts back.

I'm sure I'm not the only person to have named her doberman Spock, right?... (hears crickets chirp)

Ah well, "I feel fine".

WV: segun. Segun, run!

Anonymous said...

How can you say "kilt wearing" and then "not to ask"? O.O

Yénifer said...

:O Most awesome cake wreck!!!

This blog is amazing! Which reminds me I have to vote again today! XD

wv: resses
"My favrit part of skool is resses"

Sport's Mom said...

So totally LOVIN' this cake. Except for the fact that it says "prooper" instead of "prosper" bu the awesomeness makes it forgivable.

hollyml said...

To Anonymous @ January 7, 2009 2:21 AM

Can I come to your friends' Halloween parties? :-D

Nerds rule!

Star Trek Mom said...

I read it as prosper too. For my fellow ST fans... I found out yesterday that Majel Barrett Roddenberry passed away in December. The only actress to have been in all the versions of Star Trek: Number One in the pilot, Nurse Chapel in the original series, Mrs. Troi in ST: TNG and ST: DS9 and the computer voice in all the various series and movies. Rest in space with Gene, Majel.

Otter Mom said...

There are lots of female Trekkies. There always have been. I'm an Original fan, my earliest memory is of a ST episode on tv so I think that counts!
But the cake is very Wrecky, for all sorts of reasons which have been mentioned already. But I still like it.
I'm known as the Borg Queen by my family. I prefer not to speak Klingon - Resistance is Futile!

Anonymous said...

I read "prosper," but it is, as noted, easily misunderstood. I'm a female star trek geek, raised on syndicated original trek, and grown on later treks (I idolized Data). I would have had no friends if it weren't for the male trek geeks in my school needing a default date to social events.

I actually married a guy so nerdy he couldn't even get into the fraternities at MIT.

Kookaburra said...

Ha ha! Female Trekkers represent!

I had a Star Trek communicator pin I wore throughout middle school and high school. And my family went to the Las Vegas Hilton's Star Trek Experience for Thanksgiving once. I also have a "Ferengi School of Business" window decal.

I would have fought a Denebian slime devil for this cake when I was in HS. Hell, I might still do it now. ;-)

lcsa99 said...

I soooo need this cake for my mother's 50th this year

Caroline said...

1. That would have soooo been my cake when I was a teenager.

2. Personally, I don't think you've truly lived until you've seen a cosplaying Klingon in a kilt.

spocko said...

If I didn't have a big enough reason to love this blog for the humor, the fact that you were a Star Trek fan makes it even BETTER. If that is possible.

As you can see I too am a Star Trek Fan, and I would have ordered this in a heartbeat.

Ben and Alli said...

And the most ridiculous thing is that if you're making a cake for a true Star Trek fan, this cake would be mocked. Those OCD fans like me would have a major problem that a quote from Spock, who was on the original Enterprise, is placed below a picture of the Enterprise D. Wrong ship, ding-dong mcgee!

slythwolf said...

Don't ask.

See, the best part is? I don't have to. Because that was my high school experience, too.

girl6 said...

Trek babes rule.

I would wear my Romulan Commander costume to the cake store and buy this.

Seriously.

The Nerdy Bird said...

I would accept an Enterprise cake. Even if it was crooked. I think I need to put in a complaint to my friends and family now...

L. Shepherd said...

Wow, sounds like my exact high school experience, and my college one for that matter.

I love that you referenced "I believe this calls for a colorful metaphor!" People who don't love the Trek just can't understand.

Rykan said...

I wish I'd had friends to hang around with during that phase :(

Jessica Martiele said...

Love the cake, but the placement does indeed call for a colorful metaphor. Maybe the baker did a little too much LDS before decorating?

entropy-and-me said...

Hehehe, I knew there was a reason I resonated with this blog so well! I wasn't exactly a typical 16-yo girl, either. My Sweet 16 had a ST: Voyager theme and my parents and I celebrated my 17th at the Star Trek Experience in Vegas.

I also still have a small scale statue of the Enterprise-D (about 6" x 6" x 8") carved out of solid brass sitting on my desk. One of my prized possessions. :)

150 said...

tlhingan Hol vIjatlhbe'

(boy, it's been a while)

Mandrina said...

Thought you'd like to see my STAR TREK cake. I am NOT a professional baker, but I did this for a shoot day for the STAR TREK: PHOENIX series. www.smartestgirlinthewest.com The cake's not perfect, but it's not crooked and I carved it by hand.

Anonymous said...

Mira said:

yup, smart, funny, and Trekkie - these things usually line up! Love this cake, love this site, love you!

Anonymous said...

Take heart, you were not the only girl. My mother would drive me to conventions when I was 14 and wait in the parking lot while I went in dressed as Dr. Crusher.

By those creepy old men in Spock ears would love to chat with me ^_^*

Neil said...

How in the world did this post go almost 3 months without a "cellular peptide cake with mint frosting" joke?

housemdfan1 said...

NCC-1701. No bloody A, B, C, or D!!!!

Hmph. Some people. I'm pretty sure I want this kind of cake now. With the new Scotty on it along with a picture of the original one. Yeah, that'd be sweet.

Go geek girls!