Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Merry Misfits

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Unfortunately, these guys tend to get passed over come pageant time.

First there's Ginger, the deranged, dandruff-riddled cookie:

Sure she's a bit flaky, but be careful; Ginger snaps.


Then there's Harry, the five o'clock shadow elf:

As you can see, Harry likes to make a pig of himself.


Poopsie & Flopsie always know how to bring the holiday cheer:

Yep. Once they leave, everyone is MUCH more cheerful.


Humpty here likes to talk with his hands:

I would translate, but there are children present.

Then there's Tiny:

I tried to warn Tiny about cutting in front of that shaman, but would he listen? Noooo.


[singing] But do you recaaall...

The most famous misfit of all?

Yes, it's...

Poo-Dolph, the Bulldozed, Slain Deer!


Jessica S.,
Kim C., Erin F., Mike Y., & Anony M., I totally need Poo-Dolph on a t-shirt.

- Related Wreckage: The Haunted Holidays

Twirly McSwirl said...

What is Flopsie even supposed to BE? I assume Poopsie is a "reindeer."

loisgroat said...

Stunning. Absolutely stunning. PooDolph is no doubt my favorite!

Ophelia said...

"An open letter to these cake 'decorators':

Globs of icing do not obscure the lack of definition in the design, the fact that it's a pile of cupcakes, or that you have little to no artistic talent. Is it any wonder the continent is experiencing a serious rise in diabetes?

Signed,

So Very Sad (and not diabetic)"

The PooDolph makes me cry like a baby ;_;

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

Ask and ye shall receive.

POO-Dolph t-shirt link:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xeMgq6gG4VY/Sx5j2aj5v9I/AAAAAAAAALY/bi1bvn8gqn4/S220-h/CA2C2R6H.jpg

Jenniffer said...

GREAT! Now I have that "We're a couple of misfits" song stuck in my head. AWESOME WRECKS!

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

Fluffy Cow said...

Poo-Dolph... hee hee hee

I love you guys.

RoyalRoads03 said...

I'd be rushing Poopsie and Poo-Dolph to the nearest vet, because it looks like they have (wait for it....) blood in their stool. Sorry, that was the best laugh I've had all week!
Karmell

Lara said...

Seriously, poo-dolph looks like one of the demons from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (tv show, not movie of course).

Kelly said...

Brown swirls will always look like poo - ALWAYS! Poo is not festive, even if it's covered in sprinkles and surrounded by red and green frosting. 'nuff said?



WV: soletick - I would rather have a Lyme-Disease-bearing soletick than eat one of these poo-cakes.

gryphondear said...

Oh, I do love the teeeeny little antlers on Poo-dolph.

Unknown said...

Poodolph the bullnosed slain deer...
Had a very slimy nose...
And if you ever smelled it...
You would even say "oh noes"...

Miranda said...

omg. omg. omg. omg.

I could excuse a five-year-old for making these, but for crying out loud, adults? Employed in a bakery?

WHOO HOOO Xmas frogs and drunken trolls!

....what? WTF?

Nancie said...

Oh, Jen! You sleigh me! You saved the best for laughst [last]!

I have never seen a reindeer look more repulsive. Perhaps he thinks he's a dog and rolled in it?

You make my day - every day! Hugs & thanks!

Lisa said...

Anyone else see #2 and immediately think of Sloth? "Hey you guuuyyyyss!!"

Unknown said...

These are hilarious! I love your witty comments! Thanks for the laughter... it's a great way to start the day.

Amanda M. said...

Is the elf chewing bubblegum? And what the heck are those green things on the 3rd one - praying mantises (manti?)? I also thought they were charging 19.99 for those cupcakes...

girlyrugby said...

The Poopsie and flopsie!!!! It's Christmas Poo!!!!!!!! Hiiiiii-Deeeeeee-Hooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

Heidi :)

Amanda Mac said...

Poo-Dolph.... dear Lord, I needed that laugh this morning!

Gary said...

Superb commentary today, Jen and John.

Ginger looks like a product of the "throw everything in the kitchen on the cake" school of decorating-- a tendency I've been guilty of a time or two myself.

Giana said...

"Ginger snaps" LOL!
I'm trying to figure out what in the world the white cupcakes on Poo-dolph are even supposed to be. Cheeks? Snaggle teeth? Mumps? Giant oozing pimples? Ewww...

Becky said...

Oh, wow. A Jungle Cruise speil reference *and* a Beetlejuice reference? All in one post? I'm impressed! (with the wit, anyway...the cakes, well, um...I guess that's why they're here.)

Stacie said...

Awwww, be nice to poor Ginger. Her psoriasis is a'flairing.

kskex5 said...

I also thought immediately of Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo!!

LaziestManOnMars said...

Duh. Flopsie is the Christmas Praying Mantis.

Danielle said...

Ginger snaps...ha

I got the Jungle Cruise reference :)

Kathy said...

Poo-Dolph is a real treat! You've outdone yourself with this one.

Stephanie said...

"Ginger snaps" and "Poo-Dolph" had me in stitches. XD

ukelady said...

Very funny, as usual.
I just want to say that I've bought your book, and it's totally hysterical. I want to get more copies and give them to friends. I'm hoping to create more Cake Wrecks fans.
Evy

Kris M said...

OMG...PooDolph is both so so funny and so so scary all at the same time.

Unknown said...

Oh! is it a reindeer on the cupcake? it's not a poopbat? Are you sure? because it really looks like the north american poopbat according to my audubon field guide. and I'm sure the green one is (flipping field guide pages) the southeastern naked turtle mantis - a distant cousin to the turtledove.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Ginger, especially-- has Sandra Lee been trying to decorate cakes again? Bwahahahaha!!

p.s. (If so, that probably IS bubble gum in the elf's mouth!)


http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/11/watch-cake-being-wrecked.html

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/12/kwanzaa-will-not-be-spared.html

Anonymous said...

BOOYAH!!! Great puns!

Alison said...

Amazing. That last one...you slay me!

Anonymous said...

"careful, Ginger snaps" LOL

Dandruff riddled cookie...why is she wrapped like a poo present? Is this an insult cake? and what were they thinking by making eyes by piling pastel sprinkles on poo brown icing?

I didn't know baby carrots grew in a curve (her mouth). And mint green hands and feet--isn't that an Easter color? take a cue from the mismatched button you used, wreckerator!

wv: bulog--this is the funniest bulog on the net!

Anonymous said...

Hanky the Christmas Poo!

Sparky said...

Poo-dolph....Just wow. Yet more proof of the evils of CCCs. And sorry but wth are those white cupcakes on the side supposed to be?

Anonymous said...

Harry is one happy elf-pig!

Why are scared, naked frogs a Christmas icon? on blue icing, no less. looks like he's sitting in a pond. slap a hat on him and it's an xmas frog?

Next to poo blobs with pretzel "antlers" (salty pretzel with icing. YUM. my local supermarket is making reindeer cupcakes with pretzel antlers but they're way cuter than these poo specimens.)

Amy Rainey said...

Porky the Elf...and PooDolph...what are these people thinking? And, why are they "professional" cake decorators? Why not work in the deli or produce?

joanne said...

are those amphibian cupcakes supposed to be the Grinch? nice try, wreckerator. the Grinch is supposed to be SCARY, not SCARED.

Nice recycling of the Easter egg cake pan on the snowman with the runaway mitten and the toupee.

oh, Poo Dolph, what tiny antlers you have! (are you holding your breath with those puffy cheeks?)

Rachel said...

It took a little imagination, but I think Flopsie is supposed to be the Grinch...maybe??

Anonymous said...

Poo-dolph is the most horrifying cake wreck I have even seen!
Blogless Mary Lou

kelly dwyer said...

When did frogs become part of the Christmas cast of characters? That is what the green blob next to the brown blob is supposed to be right?

Holly Denghel said...

Ginger snaps!! That is too funny!! hehehe

Unknown said...

"Poo-Dolph, the Bulldozed, Slain Deer!" When I scrolled down and read that, I absolutely and automatically sang it in my head. Then I sang it out loud just to hear it. It was magical.

Unknown said...

The green peppermint on Ginger makes me uncomfortable....

Unknown said...

I find the fact that the first snowman cake is a yellow cake kind of funny too--I was always warned not to eat yellow snow!!

malamee said...

Is Flopsie some kind of love child of Grinch with severe arthritis?

Dharmamama said...

Here's a tip:
Don't eat yellow snow (-man cake)!

Andygirl said...

what the hail is Flopsie? Perhaps a green slime goblin come to ruin christmas?

Anonymous said...

Yes, Poo-Dolph was, er, funny (not really the right word) but Harry the Maniacal Teddy Bear Leprechaun made me laugh out loud. What the hell??? I'm trying to imagine on whose planet that would be festive.

Culinarychiq said...

:::in a hushed voice::: Ah, and here we have the elusive Poo Moose (third pic down)! This is an event indeed, folks, for it means six more weeks of craptacular cakes:-D

sleeplessnights04 said...

Is Flopsie supposed to be the Grinch? Oh wait a minute it's the Grinch's twin brother Ba-hum-bug! LOL

qandlequeen said...

Turn PooDolph upside down and he's a goat with a santa hat! (yes, I totally turned my laptop over to look at it that way)

Anonymous said...

Humpty on a t-shirt for all those joyous family get togethers!

Dawn said...

My 7 yr old son thought the "flopsies" were sick (as in ill) aliens wearing Santa hats. What that has to do with Christmas I don't know....Hey, maybe they're supposed to be Grinches!

Pahz said...

Till now, I considered store-buying my holiday treats because I'm still kind of recovering from joint replacement surgery.

But I think I'll go bake some stuff now!

Pooh-dolph! *rofl*

(another thing that made me chuckle- the "word verification" for me to post is "manterms")

Anonymous said...

The "yellow cake" is even more of a wreck if it has uranium in it.

Stella said...

POODOLPH??? HAHAHAHAA....gee you'd think I was a 13 year old boy..and BTW, I'm not. :)

Kate said...

Am I the only one who thinks the first photo there is actually of a Golliwogg on a cake?

Enid Blyton would be excited to see good ol' Golly lives on, this time after a schoolyard misunderstanding that saw Big Ears shove Golly face-first into a bowl of sprinkles.

Jessica said...

Ginger snaps - Can't take the punishment.

Thanks for the tip to turn my laptop upside down to see the Poodolph transformed into the goat in a Christmas hat. An upside down laptop helps many wrecks look, umm...better.

Brandi said...

Harry's nose looks an awful lot like a nipple. A big, pink nipple.

Lucia said...

wow! just wow!

Bek said...

I... I just can't take it. This is zapping all Christmas spirit out of me. Somehow they just keep getting worse.

Also, I honestly thought that was a Cheese Puff/Cheeto as Ginger's nose.

Anonymous said...

Funny, Funny, Funny! Thanks for my morning chuckle!

M M said...

Ginger Snaps? I should groan at this, but it works so well for that deranged CCC.

Jasmine said...

Ginger looks like she has a cheese curl for a nose!!

Pilgrim said...

I didn't know Santa had psychotic frogs working for him. Or are those praying mantisses?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, Poodolph! I can't stop laughing.


You Americans certainly know how to celebrate the festive season in style!

Anonymous said...

I'd stay out of Tiny's way-- he looks like he's prepared to club somebody.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

They should be a law against brown frosting that looks like that.

Oh, Mandy said...

Maybe Humpty-the-Snowman is only yellow in the center of the cake, but white around the sides. Kind of like a big Cadbury Easter egg.

Stephanie said...

Disturbing. Most disturbing.

Maria said...

Muahahahahaha!!!!

When I saw Poopsie and Flopsie, I thought it couldn't get any "better", but Poo-dolph is definitely the grossest/funniest/most disturbing Cake Wreck I've seen so far! Seriously, WHAT WERE THE BAKERS THINKING?????? O.O

beautifulmonday said...

Poopsie looks hysterically like Melvin the neurotic giraffe from Madagascar.

These are atrocious and your commentary is delicious!

This Ro(a)mantic Life said...

Oh. My. Lord. And I thought parody had already been taken to its farthest reaches by Jen in previous posts. Poo-Dolph renews my amazement. Jen, I think the whole song is in order here ... in fact, I'm thinking a Cake Wrecks winter holiday edition hardcover book with bonus CD of music to play while reading. I'd totally buy it.

Eve said...

Flopsie looks like Santa's Little Praying Mantis to me!

I'm going to have nightmares about Harry. Gah...

As for li'l Ginger, all I can think is: "No! Not my gumdrop buttons!"

WV: aemia. "I'm gonna aemia Super Soaker at these things and put 'em out of their misery. It's the right thing to do."

Spicy said...

Do you really want a Poo-dolph shirt? I can make one.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I am just hungry but these all look good to me. I wouldn't kick any of them off my plate.

Karen said...

All that's missing is a Mr. Hankie the Christmas Poo cake.

Mira8 said...

Jen seriously, how long does it take you to come up with these captions? Poohdolph FTW. Just brilliant. :)

Hobbit said...

Oh! Laughed so hard at this one the cat is looking at me like I'm a nut! :-)

Gary said...

Kate said...
"Am I the only one who thinks the first photo there is actually of a Golliwogg on a cake?"

Probably. But that is an interesting idea. Once you've gone this far, why not make your CCC racially, as well as aesthetically, offensive?

Anonymous said...

You'd think they'd at least attempt to make the brown icing look not so much like poo, you know? *shakes head*

Karin F. said...

you have the most exquisite humor! Keep em coming...

ksaldria said...

Beetlejuice win! XD

Anonymous said...

lol. i love the caption for the snowman with the shrunken head.

Anonymous said...

I'll bet when Ginger snaps, she spits milk in your eye!

Kelly said...

I was guessing that Flopsie might be trying to be Grinch, but I like the praying mantis idea that others had! I thought they looked like weird frogs at first. I feel like Frosty in that one is giving everyone the finger.

SAVanVleck said...

Pooh-Deer has to be the all time ugliest thing I have ever seen. Happy Holidays!!!

Fanboy Wife said...

Why is Mr. Hanky the Christmas poo sitting on a chair made of pretzels?

amy said...

These are amazing! I think my favorite are poopsie and flopsy. Why is a frog in a santa hat seasonal again???


-Amy
http://mydogeats.blogspot.com

calvinette said...

The saddest part of all -- Poopsie and Flopsie are supposed to be white chocolate raspberry cheesecake cupcakes, according to the little tag. It could've been so beautiful ...

Anonymous said...

Martian Kermit Elves?

Wendy said...

These are ALL so disturbing! I WILL have nightmares!

Liz Dooley said...

I'm so excited that the PooDolph cake was a hit! Getting a submission on Cake Wrecks made my day. :) I no longer work at the bakery that produced that cake (and no, I wasn't the decorator - I got to work one day last holiday season and it was there waiting for me), but I'll have to swing by and see what they've come up with this year. ;)

Cindy said...

I'm going to guess that those Flopsie and Poopsie cupcakes are the Grinch and his dog Max. Otherwise, what's festive about a quasi-frog with a hat and some poop (or is a turkey?) with antlers?!

That last one still has me scratching my head. Rudolph? Really? Looks like a devil blowing kisses with marshmallows in its cheeks ;)

I hope you guys find some really cool Rudolph ones for a Sunday Sweets post!

Thanks for the chuckles ...

Shar said...

Poo dolph. omg. i lold

John Sperry said...

I totally thought the first one was an owl. The last one: eew.

Anonymous said...

I hope that is actually Ginger's dandruff, and not, say, the baker's.

Xmas = Hope, I guess...

BossySkeezahs said...

Poo-dolph is classic! I would still eat it though...cake is cake!

Jennie said...

I have been looking at poopsie and flopsie all day and it just doesn't get any less funny!

"Bess" said...

May I just say, that Poo-dolph the bulldozed slain deer made me spit and spill scalding coffee all over myself and my screen. Well played, wrecker, well played.
Obviously, I found today's wrecks to be splendidly comical.

Signed,

"Someone who knows they can't decorate, and so leaves the failing for someone else."

Joe said...

"Poo-dolph is classic! I would still eat it though...cake is cake!
***********************************

I agree this could become a holiday classic, but sometimes cake is...too suspicious for human consumption.

Adella said...

I'm concerned about Humpty's health - he appears to be made out of a nuclear bi-product. (Who knew yellow cake was so readily available!)

Courtney said...

Snowman with tiny head has me laughing like a maniac!

Laura said...

O.M.G....I should have known to come here first when I was having a crappy day (pun only sort of intended). Thanks for the wonderful laugh!

Anonymous said...

Harry, the nipple-nosed elf-pig... how festive!

wv: reakeys. These are really reakey cakes.

Hilary said...

Hilary
I laughed so hard about the "poo-dolph" cake that I cried. I absolutely want a t-shirt of it. ha ha. That was the transition from the snowman "tiny" to the "poo-dolph."

Gina said...

Ginger snaps! really made me laugh in real life...that was the pun of the evening!

js said...

Jen, this was one of your best posts yet (and I've been a loyal daily reader for >1 year). Just too witty today!

Angie said...

Poo-Dolph....I just snorted, I laughed so hard!

Anonymous said...

Well done on the wordplay. I think you may have set a new record for a single post. The pictures may me smile (and cringe), but it's your writing that keeps bring me back. Thanks!!

Ricebubbles said...

I think Flopsie is a grinch.

Poopsie however is obviously the infamous turdaphant from Last years, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

Jessica Hanley said...

What do you think would happen if you actually asked for a cake with poo decorations? Hmmm......

Julie said...

Flopsie looks like the love child of Kermit the Frog and E.T. It took me a while to realize it was the Grinch!

Anonymous said...

Poo-Dolph will haunt my dreams.

ksaldria said...

Oh, and the best thing about the bulldozed reindeer is the teeeeeeny tiny antlers. I can't stop giggling every time I look at them.

Gal220 said...

The poop!! The poooop!! (supposed to be a play on "the horror! the Hoooror!)

Red Wolf said...

Mr. Hanky, is that you?

robyn said...

Man, I love those poo antlers. And maybe Humpty is the Christmas version of Pedobear. Yuh.

LindsayM said...

Yay for the Beetlejuice reference - half these Santa's look worse than he did!

cokopuff78 said...

Okay so the first one looks like Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo from South Park. Hideee-Ho Neighbor!!! ROTFL!!!!!

HappySlug said...

SOMEone's on a pun roll! (poo-dolph) teehee :D thanks for the laughs Jen!

Shaunery said...

OMGosh those are nasty looking "cakes"..can you imagine taking one of those to a school function this holiday season??? The children would BEG not to eat them and swear they'll be GOOD until Christmas...just don't give them those cakes! Aghghgh

Shaunery

Severina said...

Boooo, I now have an inexplicable craving for a poo reindeer.

Extra points for the Beetlejuice reference!

Erika Beth, the Messy Chef said...

Jen, did you see this comic about cake? Right up cakewrecks alley!
http://comics.com/f_minus/?DateAfter=2009-12-08&DateBefore=2009-12-08&Order=&PerPage=10&Search=&x=21&y=9

Rainyday said...

Even my 3 year old said that Poo-Dolf was a "poop with a face".

Gina said...

Been on Jungle Cruise lately? Ha! I have greatly enjoyed the holiday wrecks.

Alison said...

Love the Beetlejuice link for Tiny the snowman...really made me laugh to remember the ending of the movie.

Unknown said...

Haunted Mansion reference one day, Jungle Cruise reference the day before... you guys rock!e

Unknown said...

Star said...

Holy Lord God of Hosts, what are those green things supposed to be? Kermit, maybe? A praying mantis, as some have suggested? The Southeastern Naked Turtle Mantis (brilliant, BTW)? What unholy thing hath this Wreckorator wrought?

I can't get those things out of my mind because I don't know what they are! Sweet merciful heaven, before I lose what little sanity I have left...

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE THOSE GREEN THINGS???!!!

Stephanie said...

I'm just too damn lazy to scroll through the comments and see if anyone else thought of this first, but maybe instead of a slaindeer, maybe a 'stain' deer would be more appropriate since he is named Poodolph...

Anonymous said...

That last one is hilarious. I'm going to be singing that now!
Anna Marie

Anonymous said...

Does anybody else see that PooDolph is wearing big white clip-on earrings? Festive!

Aubrey said...

Yes, you need to make a PooDolph shirt. That would be hilarious! The official holiday Cake Wrecks shirt.

heidi said...

I hope Mr. Hanky is suing the Poopsie cupcake people.

Laura said...

We decided Flopsie is the holiday Praying Mantis. Very festive!

Meryl Pearlstein said...

Poo-dolph is beyond amazing -- I wasn't sure what it was at first although I had an idea. This is waayyyy too funny. Love it!

Can you send me to some places to see some of these gems? In NYC?

www.travelandfoodnotes.com

Juanita said...

I think I love poopsie more than flopsie, but I don't know why.

So, to make sure I full understand, professional bakers/cake decorators made these things? And those professional bakers weren't so embarrassed that they threw these 'things' in the trash before someone was able to take pictures of them? oh. okay.

I also really liked the dandruff creature, but it did make my skin crawl.

Mona Monster said...

tiny made me laugh so hard.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this. Haven't laughed this much in two and a half years!

Anonymous said...

Be nice to PooDolph. He has an antler inadequacy complex. Imagine what the female slaindeers say to him, poor guy. Talk about not playing any reindeer games . . .

Liz in Seattle

cooking demon said...

OK, so those little cup cakes...(cc's in the "BIZ") those little green things look like geckos that are freezing to death next to ... dunno... how about some sort of mutated crustasian with a hemoroid prob...maybe?

Unknown said...

can't.....breathe.......laughing...too.....hard.....

Barb Koumjian said...

Poo-dolph the junior Reindeer
Wished to be a household name,
Just like his cousin Rudolph,
With his great historic fame.
He needed practice flying, so
Went out to the city dump
Where gigantic mounts of garbage
Made a super place to jump.
Landing was his weakest point
He found he couldn't stop--
Crashed into a rubbish heap
(You should look before you leap!)
Bulldozed and trash-compacted,
Garbage-scowed right out to sea,
Poor Poo-dolph, the bulldozed, slain deer, your end will be a mystery!

Erika Beth, the Messy Chef said...

Barb, that was ingenious and I thank you greatly! LOL

Anonymous said...

I think it looks like an abstract Ganesha. With eyes on his feet?

Velvet Cream Bakery said...

I like that the snowman is made in yellow cake...yellow snow anyone lol

Anonymous said...

you make me cry and tinkle...

Anonymous said...

@ Barb - That was awesome!! I sang it...

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Heather T said...

poodolph the bulldozed slain deer
had a very flattened nose
and if you ever saw it
you could even say it's gross
all of the other slain deer
used to laugh and call him maimed
they wouldnt let poor poo dolph
join in any slain deer games
then one foggy christmas eve
santa came to say
what the heck did i step in
scraping poo dolph off my shoe
now poo dolph's very smushy

and his face is in the trash
just goes to show what happens
if you end up on cake wrecks in the first place!
(see, I don't have to rhyme)

Anonymous said...

Loved the Beetlejuice reference!

Man some of those cakes are..lovely.

rascalmom said...

I swear I am going to get fired for laughing too loud. This whole post...just incredible. I cannot stop reading these things. PooDolph may begin to cure my frosting addiction....

Anonymous said...

Everyone together now!
"Poo-Dolph, the Bulldozed, Slain Deer
had a very flattened nose!
And if you ever saw it,
you would even say . . .
say . . . uh . . ."
Crap, I can't think of anything to add. I'm laughing too hard.

Jen, I know now what to sing during Christmas. And if people ask me why I'm singing that, I shall direct them to this blong to cure of the horrible disease of not knowing what your blog is.
-Madison

The Social Mediatrix said...

Am crying with laughter at the Five O'Clock Shadow Elf.