Friday, August 21, 2009

Two Words, Bakeries:

Friday, August 21, 2009

Drug screening.

Seriously. You guys might want to look into it.


You also want to make sure the DTs are over.


"Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Doing the things a triangle can...
"

And just FYI, managers: Drawing a tuxedo-clad "Triangle Man" with webbed feet is not compelling evidence of sobriety. So you probably shouldn't pick that guy to do the window display:

On the other hand, if you ever have an occasion that calls for a clown to run over another clown who's broken in half while stabbing at a third clown - who's drowning - and all three to be surrounded by bucks, bucking broncos, and mysterious brown swirls in the sky... well, then, you should probably seek professional help.


Courtney C., Jen C., Kirsten K., & Samantha R., I get by with a little help from my friends.


- Related Wreckage: Back to Basics

dangerouswhenbored said...

Well at least they didn't draw Particle Man!

Wide Awake Wife said...

The first cake looks like something my kids would put together and the last one looks like the decorator stuck all of the plastic "toys" that no kids wanted on their cakes. What a mess!

mysleepinghusband.com

Sarah said...

This is just... wow. I don't even have anything witty to say. My brain hurts looking at the first one.

KatjaMouse said...

The landscape alone in that last one is cause for worry. Love those bucks just chillin under the palm trees. You know... like they do.

Josh (the DMT) said...

I think that if Tim Burton was to use those cakes as the basis of his next movie that those sets would easily win the Oscar for "Best Set Design That Makes You Want to Gouge Out Your Eyes While You Listen to Pink Floyd."

Josh

http://thedmt.blogspot.com

Fayruztoot! said...

woah. do my eyes decieve me, or is there writing on that green cake?

*cleans glasses; leans towards computer screen*

why, yes! there is writing. Happy 4th Birthday Nate.

Ahh, triangle man. My hero.

Chad @ Cup a Dee Cakes said...

OMG! I was totally singing "Particle Man" in my head when I first saw that cookie. Maybe it's supposed to be that flounder guy on Spongebob Squarepants!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Oh, poor, poor Nate. His cake looks like silly string gone horribly wrong.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

diddleymaz said...

OH OH I got it....the first one is a butterfly with graffi, and triangle man is a space rocket, do i get a prize for guessing right please please .......with sprinkles and sugar??????

Anonymous said...

Hahah the green cake...it's a spastic nightmare. I just imagine the decorator screaming as they were decorating it.

Wild Cakes said...

TMBG reference? Jen, your geekdom knows no bounds!!

H to the N said...

I think "Triangle Man" is supposed to be a rocket.....but...its terrible.

Terry Lee said...

clowns are creepy as hell and should be out-lawed. period.

Anonymous said...

Not to mention that the other clown is sinking in quicksand!

Tigerwolf said...

#1: “Can’t get this” -- *click-click* -- “dang red airbrush tool” -- *click-click* -- “to wooooork -- YAAAAAAA!! Jane! Stop this crazy thiiiiiiiiing!!!”

#2: “Lettuce and worms! Why, Nate is going to so love this!”

#3: “Dang it, Jane, I told you, don’t put the black frosting next to the white frosting on the KKK cake!”

#4: “Oh, give me a home, where the clowns and cars roam, and the deeeer and the antelope run away…”

^..^

WV: imiscup. Imiscup cake cakes...NOT!!!

Julie said...

Okie Dokie.....

Ummm.. Since when are kitchen scrubbies and silly string appropriate as cake decorations for a four year old?

Can we work on a new anti-drug campaign? These cakes are real good examples of "this is your brain on drugs".

faradayflux said...

OK, the second one looks like some bad B-movie, "attack of the lettuce patch!".

And yay for the TMBG reference :)

Lauren T. said...

Jen, your comments are so much more cohesive than mine were when my friend Jen sent me this picture -- my comments were more along the lines of "Bucks. and Clowns. and a ... white horse?" Hilarious, thanks for sharing. :D

Trevor said...

The words I'm thinking of for the bakeries are "Child Labor Laws." Seriously, these look more like they were done by children, for the most part, as opposed to an acutal drunk or dugged adult.

Dan said...

I think "Triangle Man" is actually a rocket blasting off into space.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Yeah man, that butterfly is totally rad!!

Fellini said...

You do not see the avant-garde, Fellini-esque quality of that last cake?? It is a masterpiece!

Dorci said...

Those deer seem to longingly looking at me for help. They're lost in a crazy clown world. Too bad that horse isn't a unicorn. Chaaarliee!

Anonymous said...

My children think I've lost my mind, I'm laughing so hard. The clown cake owns me. Seriously.

I thought maybe the tort was the after effects of a child who'd been given epicac syrup because they swallowed an iPod. And they threw up on roadkill. Maybe.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Lol :P Triangle man :)

Anonymous said...

The second one is either Magic Eye or made by Georg Baselitz (but in that case it is upside down).

Swatopluk

yacoba said...

Your blog as been recommended to me by several of my friends, and I have to say I get a real kick out of it. But as a cake decorator how does this stuff happen?

Like the cake that looks like silly string was put all over it. Is that what they ordered by the customer? [I've received some odd orders before, but nothing like that ^_~]

Michelle said...

Wrecker Man, Wrecker Man. Someone please hit him with a frying pan. Lives his life, thinking he can. Wrecker Man.

Melinda said...

Ha! I often wonder looking at your blog if the wreckerators are on drugs. Now there is an entire post about that exact thing. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Do you ever think about how horrible it would be to work in the factory that makes those (horrifyingly) ubiquitous plastic clown picks? Not only are the workers unlikely to be making a living wage and are probably exposed to all kinds of health-threatening chemicals, but the nightmares that such work must induce! Now there's a job for OSHA (of China?)

Etiquette Bitch said...

OMG, all I could think on the DT cake was "Poor Nate. He's only 4, and this is his cake???"

The murderous clown cake reminds me of your post from the 1960s book with cakes of pirates murdering comely ladies.

Perhaps we should be grateful that these troubled individuals are taking their aggression out in the form of cakes, vs. actually *doing* something murderous in reality.

Paula said...

Freaking hilarious! I am going to *sing* the "triangle song" all day now! :) And I think the last cake is the one of the top depictions of a "wreck" on my list of faves! I LOVE THIS BLOG!!

carrera said...

I took the photo of the clown cake (you can see my dress pattern reflected in the glass). The bakery is actually a Chinese restaurant... that just happens to also make cakes.

Katie said...

I've never commented before, but I've got to give you kudos for the They Might Be Giants reference!

That song is going to be stuck in my head all day...

Double N said...

What, exactly, is that green on chocolate mess supposed to be? Seems like maybe someone let their 2 year old play with the piping bag.


WV: Ungissei Wreckorator to boss "Ungissei..uuumm...no, I haven't been drinking again."

Mary said...

I think triangle man is supossed to be a rocket ship - those are the blaster things at the bottom, not webbed feet. Ok so it's still stretching the imagination but I'm just saying....

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Actually, I think the clown cake is hysterical. I don't get it, but it's hysterical.

Poor Nate.

Cheri said...

My eyes! My eyes! What is wrong with the person that thinks that all that GREEN frosting is appetizing? UGH!

Michelle said...

i'm going to have nightmares from the green one...

Helen Back said...

I must now add a ton of TMBG songs to my Grooveshark playlist! "They have a fight, Triangle wins..."

Anonymous said...

I think "triangle man" is a rocket taking off and his "feet" is the fire that ocomes out the end.

Melonie said...

I think I'm about to have a green frosting induced seizure. You have a little warning like they have on video games. I think Nate's cake is dangerous to synapses.

Love the TMBG reference, though.

WV: reecol- the green cake made me reecol in horror.

J.C. said...

Major points for the They Might Be Giants reference.

Sara Otterstätter said...

The green cake....thing looks like, what will happen when the baker let his/her three year old daughter alone playing around in the kitchen. "I'll be back soon, honey. Don't touch anything! Especially not this cake there!!"

And the clowns... I understand people who suffer from a phobia of clowns better and better. Maybe they got a birthday cake like this at their third birthday.

Anonymous said...

How do you get a 4 year old to eat his veggies, like lettuce and broccoli?? Make them out of green icing, of course!!! And is that Triangle Man or Triangle Penguin? "I got so carried away with the buttons and wings, that I forgot to leave room for the head!" explained the wreckorator....

cewmont said...

There HAS to be a story behind the road-trip frolicking clowns headed into the wild west----where the deer and the horseys play.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Rachie Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ said...

I think Triangle Man is meant to be a Penguin....

Heather said...

I must echo Wild Cakes: you are a geek, refreshing though that is... You should give a shout out to the Giants, though. Taking credit for their funnies...

Melinda said...

I think that the last cake is an attempt to help the recipient get over his/her fears. I mean, who isn't afraid of clowns? Or of falling off of a bucking bronco and being trampled? Or bucks...um, maybe they saw that video of a hunter getting attacked by one and got freaked out? And palm trees...*ahem* Well, okay, you have to admit that brown swirly things in the sky would be, at the least, alarming. Of course, now this poor person will also be afraid of birthday cakes.

Becca said...

The butterfly looks like a 3 year old decorated it, and it would be really cute for a 3 year old... but not so much for a professional.

Triangle man isn't a triangle man, it's supposed to be a rocket ship.

Susan said...

Am I the only one who thought the clown cake featured reindeer and palm trees along with everything else?
My birthday is next week, and now I know what I want!

Caitlin said...

Ok, so I get that they were trying to do a butterfly cake, and I get the rocket cake too. But I really need to know what they intended with the green mess on Nate's cake. I mean, really, I can't fathom what they were going for, it's a 4 year olds birthday cake for goodness sake. I have a Nate at home (an 8year old one) and he doesn't get it either.

BillDarryl said...

Jen, it sounds like you're having a bit of a fight with Triangle Man. Not recommended. He tends to win.

Christina M. said...

*blink blink*
That last cake...it...um, well...speachless.

That is all.

Rosie_Kate said...

Too funny!!! The commentary really enhances the experience...

Suzy Voices said...

What the hell are the green lumps supposed to be, broccoli?

And you forgot to say GIANT clowns (in relation to the size of the deer and horse)!

Maddy said...

It makes me wonder who is in charge of 'quality control' and are there any managers at all?
Cheers

MalMal said...

Maybe the first cake IS Particle Man... I mean... not that what he looks like is important...

Tuggy said...

Got a question about that poor drowing/bestabbed clown -
"When he's underwater, does he get wet?"

Hooray for TMBG!

WV: biessl. As in, if you don't know how to decorate a cake, you can at least bluff and make it biesslicious.

Ooof, that was a stretch...I think I pulled a brain muscle...

Danae said...

Thanks for the TMBG references!!!! Now I kinda do want to have a Triangle Man cake for my birthday... I wonder if I ask for a "Birdhouse in your soul" cake what would I get...

knitorpurl said...

Just doesn't get better than crazy squiggles with monochromatic writing, made up frosting characters and insane flotsam combos.

Save the clowns, Triangle man!

TeDiouS said...

Poor, poor Nate. All he wanted for his birthday was a Cabbage Patch cake...

Anonymous said...

I saw that last cake as a window display but I didn't have anything to take a picture with.

Carrie Me! said...

Okay, that green thing is for a 4 year old?!?! What is the theme for that party?

Anonymous said...

Hey, the last cake's not weird, it's surreal. Where else could a clown bend in a way that the human body's not designed to go?

I think I had a dream like that once. Took me a week to get over it.

--Blue Jean

Word of the day; "unmen" as in "what that clown's doing is unmenly impossible."

Natalie said...

I think I want to *hug* you for the Particle Man link. So many memories.

Em said...

trying to win trying to win trying to win, he's triangle man

wv: dround I hate it when clowns dround

Melissa (& Billy) said...

The first one--aww, it's a happy butterfly. On acid.

2nd one--Umm yeah, was that made on "take your preschooler to work day?" 0_o

Rocketman--well, it's sorta cute...it's a chibi rocket! =D

Clowns--BWAHAHAAHAHA Revenge for everyone who is freaked out by clowns! THEY TURN ON EACH OTHER! mwhahahaha...

Seriously. People PAID for these. *shakes head* Ooookay.

WV: stict--If I ordered a cake and got one of these wrecks, I'd stict the bakery with the bill.

Chris, Gina and Hunter said...

The green one reminds me of two year olds painting on t-shirts with puff paint. I think the third one is supposed to be a space shuttle, but with buttons.

Kelsi said...

Your TMBG reference made my day. I remember seeing the "Tiny Toons" music video for that song... I was six years old and fell in LOVE with They Might Be Giants. Not in love so much with the triangle cake, though.

(By the way, I'm a longtime reader, but have stayed silent in the shadows for the most part. Love the blog!)

TA said...

You have to give the clown cake decorator props for actually putting fingers on the clowns. Usually those horrible blobby clowns have sausage-y arms that terminate in an oversized mitten, or a round squirt of frosting.

...never mind that the fingers are identical in design to the clumps of grass lining the riverbank.

BlondeShot Creative said...

am I the only one that likes that last cake? I mean, its just so funny and strange that I kinda love it.

Lucia said...

ha ha ha! tee he tee he!
laughing my face off!

TA said...

BTW I think "Particle Man" must be a knock-off of the original Spiderman theme.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o29VoxtsFk

Anonymous said...

I think the "triangle man" is a space rocket. If you look at the bottom, it looks like flames out of the exhaust.

Thomas said...

What happens when Triangle Man meets Person Man?

frigglesnitz said...

Is there a W.A. out there, along the lines of A.A.? "My name is Joe, and I'm a wreckorater." "HI, JOE!" "Once, I had a slip for a happy birthday butterfly cake, and I fell asleep with the airbrush on! That was my lowest point. I came straight here after that. I haven't made a CCC (ptooui) since!"

WV anofl- Oh, look! Anofl cake wreck!

Anonymous said...

My 3yo just walked over to see while I was looking at the enlarged pic of the last cake.

His first response: "That's my *favorite* birthday cake! I LOVE IT!"

Then (to his brothers): "Guys, come here! Wait, Mom, I gotta show that weird cake to the boys!"

I can see the rocket on the triangle man cake, but what is the green squiggle mess *supposed* to be???

Phoenyx said...

Rocket? Triangle Man? I thought it was a faceless isosceles penguin. Or is that equilateral? Gah! Geometry before coffee? I have lost my mind.

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

I think bakeries probably draw a lot of drug-test-dodgers. They have munchies fodder, they talk about stuff getting "baked", and they use vibrant (edible!) colors. If I were high, I'd definitely want to work at a bakery.

nicole said...

Saddest part about it is the shell and ruffle border on that clown cake is PERFECT....i do think it is appropreate that all the clowns have "x's" for eyes though.

Jason said...

I thought this site was awesome before, but you've just stepped it up a level with a TMBG reference!

Karyn said...

Just a note to say that Particle Man is one of my kids all time favourite songs. Nice touch!

sues2u2 said...

Those were seriously disturbing.

Christina said...

Sigh...
People, Triangle man is not a rocket! He's Baby Morris Day's butt crack at Epcot!

Actually I think Triangle Man would make a fab mascot. You can put a little logo on the more popular wrecks that says: "Triangle Man Approved!" with Mr. Triangle Man giving a thumbs up.
And he needs to be on a T-shirt, of course!

Sili said...

Pity - the scary clown cake actually has very nice sides.

Amy said...

Geez. My eyes hurt.

Just FYI: hardly anyone around rodeo says "broncos" anymore. Just "bronc" or "broncs". LOL

~Amy B.

lisadh said...

Maybe it's because I'm not familiar with the TMBG oevre, but I, too, came up with the Spidey theme for the Triangle Man. Am I dating myself? Sigh...

I also thought that Triangle Man was a rocket, until I saw the pom-pom on top of the triangle. Sooo, maybe it's supposed to be a black & white clown whose hat is covering his face? Just guessing.

The Fellini reference for the last one made me laugh. Clowns and ponies don't mix, otherwise.

Great post! See you in Austin!

Mark said...

TMBG!!!! My two favorite things have coincided today: TMBG and Cake Wrecks.

Maybe I should get an awful cake tattooed next to my TMBG tattoo.

Alix said...

Delirium tremens and silly string! Yay!

Anonymous said...

LMAO @ Triangle Man. Good stuff

LaurenH said...

Delerium Tremens is a mighty delicious brew though...

kadyb said...

I can imagine that a 4-year-old would like a silly string cake. Maybe not all in green, though. Love this blog. Thanks for the daily laughs!

Nicol3 said...

Universe man, universe man. Size of the entire universe man..

Catmania said...

Wow - once again I am speechless. The ccc butterfly (ptooie), the green on black icing blobs, the horse/deer/clown/car/palm tree cake - priceless!

PS: Am I the only one here who doesn't know that TMBG is??

WV: mindstop - the sight of the last cake made my mind stop working this morning - HAHAHA

Miranda said...

AAAHHHHH! AAAHHHHH! My brain is exploding and my optic nerve is incinerated!

I'm not against most drug usage, but I *am* against being intoxicated while at work. They need to save that for home in the evenings! That butterfly is just insane! And the...cabbages? with the scribbles? There is no excuse for that. None. I want to march in there and scream YOU'RE FIRED!

Mira8 said...

I'm probably not the first to suggest this but...I am starting to think Wreckorators are doing this on purpose in order to see their handiwork on your website. I mean, seriously - these can NOT be on purpose. Can they?

peewee said...

I always laugh at your posts. But "triangle man" seriously made my eyes water as I laughed. Seriously.

Sarah C.S. Ashworth said...

Triangle Man reminds me a bit of a penguin. Feet sans happy.

Long time lurker, just wanted to say thank you for keeping me laughing through the duldrums of an office job.

Anonymous said...

I'm Nate's mom. Just wanted to clear up we did NOT order a silly string cake. It was supposed to be an "Indiana Jones" inspired delight. My husband and I thought it hilarious nonetheless, and 4 year olds really don't care what a cake looks like....right?

Robin said...

Jen - that's a rocket.

Not that that excuses the cake. I'm just saying.

Jen said...

Yuck!

That reminds me, I have to take a picture for you, if the cake's still at the grocery store.

-Jen
http://jenniferannphotos.etsy.com/

Lisa said...

That Green Tree Cake could have been okay, if they didn't scribble with the fine point tip all over!!

I agree....drug screening should be mandatory!!

Anonymous said...

"Hi, we want a cake for our little Nate's birthday. Could you model it off of this early masterpiece from our budding little artist?

Oh, and also, his favorite color is green. Thanks!"

Rebecca said...

after squinting for a while, i think that brown poo in the sky on the clown cake...is supposed to be the dessert sun O.o

redraven said...

Well, at least it isn't the Triangle Man from Silent Hill...

The clown cake...holy cannoli! Clowns are frightening enough by themselves, but when they're bent in half the wrong way...hmmmm. Bucks and palm trees? Round red blobs? I think we're starting to drift into David Lynch territory with this one.

Julie said...

@ Nate's Mom... Indiana Jones inspired, hmm...

Well I guess I can stretch a little ways and say from above it could pass for tree tops and jungle vines.

They still missed whatever they were going for though.

:::b r a n d i::: said...

Aack! Triangle man! I love him. What is that??

The clowns...of the clowns. Why? That's just wrong.

Renee said...

Nice TMBG reference! :)

james said...

Triangle Man is definitely a rocket. That apparently does up with buttons.

Hippie Mama Kelly said...

Love the TMBG reference!!!!! Too cool!

Scritzy said...

Well, I do know that deer hang around palmetto trees on occasion ...

Re the first and second cakes: whatever those people were on at the time, I want some.

Word verification: waite. I can't waite to read Cake Wrecks every day.

Meia said...

The They Might be Giants reference almost made me spit tea all over my laptop. XD ROFL

Emily said...

This blog makes me laugh till I cry almost daily! Thanks :)

steeple333 said...

Those clown decorations should've been chucked out during the McCarthy era, because they are freaky as hell.

I like the first one, though, but Katamari Damacy may have trained me to be amused by bright colors with gentle insanity.

wv: dupes. Yeah, the baker dupes people into buying these Wrecks!

blu_canary said...

Mira8: You know, I was kinda thinking the same thing until I went to a large chain store bakery today. I kid you not, they had this thing that I think was supposed to be a shih-tzu. The cake must have been a rolled cake of some type...with all the frosting "hair" draping off of it. It had the most insane face you've ever seen and these chocolate...things...trailing behind it. When I realized the things were supposed to be muddy footprints, I started laughing so hard I caused a bit of a scene!

If only I had had my camera with me!!!!

(Oh, and yay for the TMBG reference! My favorite screen name since my MUD days (now that really makes me a geek) has been blu_canary! Yes, as in "in the outlet by the light switch".)

G.H. said...

Oh Geesh. It just keeps getting worse..


http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

chicken lips said...

holy smokes, these are weird! What's the deal with the green one? I don't get it. Nor do I understand the "triangle man"...very strange.

Bree said...

I think the decorator of #4 was inspired by David Lynch. Only he could combine a clown car accident with wildlife and palm trees.

Reg said...

That clown cake points to a problem with many of these cakes; namely dimension. You have a three dimensional scene on a two dimensional cake with the X axis of the scene corresponding to the Y axis of the cake causing the whole cake to be wrong both aesthetically AND mathematically. If I have lost everyone, I apologize but for those geeks out there (you know who you are, you LOVED the Doctor Who cakes just as I did), you get what I mean.

Christina said...

Once upon a time my family moved me from my happy life on the east coast to a desolate air force base out west. Along the way I turned 7 and they bought me a Smurf cake. This was in 1987...but I can vividly remember the Happy Birthday and the bridge that the little hiker Smurf was walking over...and it's the same ones as the last cake. When the Smurfs go missing, you must have to go with clowns...

GrumpyBear in Blue said...

I'm pretty sure that the triangle man is a rocket ship.

Ophelia said...

This is why kids hate clowns >_<

Quitter said...

While I worked as a cake decorator, my boss had this great idea to let the kids decorate their own cakes on mothers days, I must say, that looks alot like what was going on then.

Laura said...

I love your site, I visit it every day and I always enjoy it. I just took a job at Food Lion in the deli/bakery and I'm going to be decorating cakes... I'm a little bit terrified that I'll suck and end up on Cake Wrecks but I am going to do my best to avoid it!

Skittl1321 said...

I find it hysterical that you referenced partical man today, since I JUST saw the tiny toons episode that uses that song!

LL said...

They Might Be Giants just doesn't get quoted enough. And my monitor must be bad, because on the last cake with the clowns, I read that as Slappy, not Happy Birthday.

Pip said...

Thank You for the They Might Be Giants reference.

Melissa said...

I already thought you were awesome, but now I am head over heels for you--all because you referenced old school TMBG. *swoon*

Cheryl said...

They Might Be Giants! SO my era!

"Triangle Man, Triangle Man, Triangle Man hates Person Man. They have a fight, Triangle wins. Degraded man, Person Man...." Accordion Solo!

MAXXY said...

Max here!

I love Triangle Man! Hes only like the best super hero since Toast Man!

HES AWESOME!!!! XD

stuckonsushi said...

I chuckle at the majority of the entries, but the commentary on the clown cake made me crack up. WOW. The wrecks are enough on their own, but your commentary just takes the hilariousness to another level.

Anonymous said...

I find clowns to be kind of creepy, but this is just downright disturbing.

Melanie said...

I was nauseated by the green squiggly things, it looked too much like thin, moldy worms on the get-away. *shudder*
The clowns. Oh, dear heavens above what does someone say about THOSE?! Um... I'm glad they weren't on a surprise cake for me?
However, I have to admit to liking the triangle-in-a-tux. He reminded me of the townspeople from The Point and brought up warm, fuzzy childhood memories. The Skeksis can do that for me as well, any cakes of them?

Jaycey said...

triangle man may just be my favorite superhero now...

Suzette said...

The third cake gives me a serious case of border envy. So, what did they do? Have the borders done by their best decorator and then call in an unhinged person to "decorate" the top? Weird. Totally weird.

BellaMoccia said...

Wait, lemme get this straight...

So far, I've seen multiple references to Doctor Who, They Might be Giants, Star Trek, Stargate...and all of this wrapped up in cake?


I...I think I love you.

Janell said...

bahahahaha! And this is what cake on acid looks like. The happy, hallucinogenic butterfly attacks!

Keesler Chaos said...

My husband would LOVE a Triangle Man cake! What a great idea!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to defend the 'triangle man'...well, defend the decorator.

Unfortunately, this is one of the 100 or so designs approved by GAC. Even the 'professional' one in the brochure looks like this cake!!!

In my 7yrs working at GAC, I've done this cake exactly twice, probably because no one could figure it out what its suppose to be. For the record, its suppose to be a rocket ship and there's suppose to be stars all around the ship.

Alex C. said...

That clown cake is a work of art. If I am ever allowed to marry, that is going to be my wedding cake.

Anonymous said...

But... they spelled "happy Briday" wrong.

I'm sort of wondering if/hoping that the first cake was based on the child's drawing. (Except it doesn't look like it was custom made, so who knows. That and as a social worker I have some concerns about the child who created it.)

Oy.

Aviatrix said...

The first one would be a jubilant success had it been made at home by mom and a two year old. Too bad it's masquerading as a professional effort.

I've seen, and own, all the Indiana Jones movies and I just don't see the source of inspiration. It's a little like the exploded alien brains in Mars Attacks, though.

BillyD said...

If the clown cake was made by a Chinese restaurant, maybe it's sort of a rebus or a pun or something in Chinese...

bobo said...

Hooray for the They Might be Giants reference!

robyn said...

Dead clowns to boot! 'Cause that's what those little X's in their eyes are. Can't stand dead clowns.

Allie said...

Oh my gosh, nothing makes me happier than a They Might Be Giants reference! =]=]

AllTimeLow = LOVE. said...

Actually, I want that first cake. Rainbow psychedelia on a butterfly? I'm down. :)

Karen said...

You know, Triangle man HATES Particle Man. You should also try singing the Spiderman theme song to the Particle Man tune and vice versa. It totally works.

Diana said...

The second cake is actually a high class thing. See most people don't know is that "Nate" invented Silly String. And he, ahhhh, really likes cabbage.

Anna Cassidy said...

A TMBG reference? On Cake Wrecks?

Jen, I think I love you.

Red Wolf said...

Yay! a TMBG reference! <3

thebeatgoeson08 said...

Yay for TMBG! It's amazing how so many things I like and/or find funny come together on this blog. Thanks for keeping me amused and my 11 y.o. in hysterics

Lonnie

Anonymous said...

I LOVE They Might Be Giants!

frggygrl said...

Poor Nate.. he's only 4. He so doesn't deserve that.

Sharon M said...

My son had to inform me that the cookie cake is supposed to be a rocket ship, not a Picasso penguin. I still like my interpretation of the picture better, even though his is probably more accurate.

Nikki said...

Actually, that clown is not stabbing at all! He's trying to rescue that clown from drowning the in white water creek running through the middle of the cake. And his body position on the bridge makes total sense. Thats exactly how I'd brace myself if I were saving a drowing friend :)

Gladys said...

Okay, along with Jen and John for giving me my daily dose of awesomeness and LOL-lery, I also now *heart* Christina for this:

People, Triangle man is not a rocket! He's Baby Morris Day's butt crack at Epcot!

(Although by this point in the comments, I'm thinking we need to add something about a TMBG reference--but that's just me.)

Now, in re: the cakes--
People, I used to DO drugs. SERIOUS drugs. For, like, YEARS. And neither I, nor any self-respecting junkie* I ever knew, would have permitted indignities such as these to be perpetrated on innocent food items. For one thing, the David-Lynch-meets-Rob-Zombie-ness of that clown-murder cake comes a wee bit TOO close to some kind of cold-turkey-Day-Three nightmare.

So, in short: even chronic substance-abusers generally have better taste, a less-horrifying sense of color, and steadier hands than those who created today's exhibits. And remember: Friends don't let friends wreck cakes.

astarte27 said...

I LOVE the reference to "They Might be Giants!" in your commentary! Perhaps you could work Istanbul in some other time!

DangGina said...

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Jen, I think the worst cake ever is in this very post; cake #2...that busy green mess. What. The. Aych?!

GwendolynSnow said...

Oh Wow! Helllllooooooo?? Anyone home!?? The clown cake is killin' me! LMBO!! Love the commentaries and y'all's comments too!

First time commenting as I have been reading a long time!! Could not let the clown/buck/???? cake go by with no critique!

Holy Cr@pol@!

and poor Nate . . . the only way that would be appropriate is if he had decorated it himself!! Poor Baby!

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure some bakery type places DO use drug screening, a girl I know in Michigan didn't get a decorating job as a result, which seemed a little harsh!

Christina said...

Thanks Gladys! And I agree about the TMBG so I will oblige. For those who do not know what this means, it's "officially" a band called "They Might Be Giants."
However it "could" be:
"Teenage Mutant Billy Goats"
"Try Mom's Baked Gouda"
And my personal favorite to say to TMBG fans:
"They Must Be Geeks"
WV: teribbra-yes, I know my jokes are teribbra

Amy said...

Your blog is beyond funny!!! Thanks for making my Monday much better!!! Love the comments too. The Under neat that" cake is mu favorite. :o)

http://amy-boysboysboys.blogspot.com

Amy said...

I think that's a rocket....

Jennifer said...

Today I walked past a Chinese restaurant in downtown Chicago with my husband. It was closed but there were wedding/birthday/anniversary cakes in the window. For some odd reason.

Here's what happened:

Me: I like that one. And that one. And do you think the silver balls on that one are edible? And OH MY GOD THAT'S THE CAKE WRECKS CLOWN CAKE.

Husband: What?

Me: I'm serious. You didn't see it?! I'll show you when I get home.

Man walking past: Hey, that's from Cake Wrecks.

Me: See, it wasn't only me who saw it.

I showed him when we got home and he said yes, I see, it is the same cake. And I said I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE CAKEWRECKS PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE IN TOWN!

Kate said...

HAHA! I thought it was Triangle Man too. It didn't even occur to me that it could be a rocket until I read all these comments. Might have to look again, lol!

Anonymous said...

The "Triangle Man" is a rocket... doesn't take a genius to notice that one lol.

Nathaniel said...

That rocket ship cake didn't say, "D-day"?

Anonymous said...

I couldn't stop laughing about #4, "Clown Wars," and all those unrelated animals! Those clowns must be trying to kill each other off for the single prized opening at the circus; after all, it's a recession, and even the Big Top's downsizing!

And that triangle cake, yes, the first thing I thought of was that They Might Be Giants Song, but I didn't think rocket, because what spaceship has *webbed feet*? People, it's a deformed penguin. After all, it IS black and white -- and has webbed feet!

Dan and Jeannine said...

I just discovered your site, and I am HOOKED - and this clown get up takes the cake... I am sitting at my desk crying with laughter! Thank you!

Dasani said...

X72ryiz


"butterfly" looks like all of the second graders on the playground at my school did.