Monday, August 3, 2009

Oh, Bugger

Monday, August 3, 2009

When it comes to cakes, I'm usually a pretty tolerant person. (Mostly. Ok, sort of. Look, just humor me, Ok?)

However, there's a new "Deco Kit" running rampant through our nations bakeries that, quite frankly, must be stopped. In fact, it's not so much a kit as it is a creepy garnish. Let's see if you can spot it in this photo:

"Oh, look at the pretty caAAAEEEIIIII!!!!"

Yes, those are in fact giant, disturbingly life-like, (yet mercifully plastic) ants - or as bakers are calling them, "the new sprinkles."

Which might explain why they're popping up everywhere.

See, two ants are good...

Three are better...

But four equals "display only". Good to see there are limits.

For some reason watermelon cakes suffer the most from these pesky "antics":

Because, really, how else could you make this cake less appetizing?


It's always good to have insects on the brain while eating a cake covered in black specks.

And yes, please, let's put Old Glory on there to remind everyone that only we Americans could produce the double-whammy Wreckage of both a CCC (cupcake cake) AND the GAG (Giant Ant Garnishes). Wouldn't want some other country claiming this one, now, would we?

Christine T., Penny R., Sidney B., Dave K., Kathryn S., Erica H., & Kate B., you know why anteaters never get sick, right? No? Well, it's 'cuz they're so full of antibodies.

[bah dum bump!]


- Related Wreckage: Totally Cheating
Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

I cANT believe it! Sorry, couldn't resist.




myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

Milton said...

To be fair, the unappetizing watermelon cake looks like it got crushed. It might have looked better pre-crush.

But being fair tends to take the fun out of things, so just ignore me. ;-)

ANa said...

I'm LMAO! That's just disgusting! Mind you, that would make an interesting dessert at any summer picnic; at least people could play a game of "spot the differences"! LOL!

Stephanie said...

I met my husband for the first time at the airport in Atlanta ... where there are giant, plastic ants crawling across the rafters in baggage claim for whatever reason. They are weird but they broke the ice and gave us something to talk about. So although I have some sort of fondness for large, plastic ants, these are wholly unappetizing.

Anonymous said...

THEM!!!!!

Rhea said...

And therrrrrrrrre goes my appetite!!!!!

ros said...

Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Beth said...

Gaint ants can't be the new sprinkles, unless they're edible.

Julie said...

That is especially gross, since we have carpenter ants around our house that get really big...I don't think I could eat any of those cakes!!

Wide Awake Wife said...

Ok. Call me crazy but I though the first 4 were kind of cute, and then came the watermelon. Maybe it would be alright if it actually looked like an appetizing watermelon?


mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

Danielle said...

I think I threw up a little when I saw that first watermelon, maybe it was because I was eating watermelon??? Some of the cakes are absolutley disgusting!!

Christina said...

Great. As someone who is fighting a losing battle this summer against ants, these proves they are indeed winning. On a much larger scale than previously thought.

Durable Goods said...

I don't quite understand the point of the "french fries" cake, with or without infestation...

Anonymous said...

Those GAGs need Naked Baby Jockeys! :)
(and boy, is "GAG" totally appropriate! BLEARRRGGHH!!!)

Wendy

Michelle S. said...

To be honest, I'm glad the universal picnic mascot is the ant and not the fly. I'll just brush the ants off -real or fake - and stuff the food in my mouth.

But flies? As a kid I watched flies land on a fresh pile of dog poo at the park, then onto a platter of meat coming off our grill.

wv: ferevir - "Flies nearly put me off al fresco dining ferevir."

Anonymous said...

OMG! I saw an ant/watermelon cake at my local walmart last week. I immediately thought "cake wrecks" but didn't have my camera with me. I had no idea it was an epidemic!

Amy said...

what's next, a cake or CCC shaped like an ant eating a watermelon wreck?

Daria said...

While they're all too disgusting to eat, I'd give creativity points to the one that looks like a cupcake dropped on a tile floor.

Alix said...

The toppled cupcake version gets my vote. I mean, if you gotta eat ants on a cake, it might as well be a tongue-in-cheek one.

Anonymous said...

I saw an Ant Wreck about a month ago -- but I couldn't get a good photo of it because of the cake's placement in the cooler (I tried!).

Glad... or I guess frightened is the word... that there were enough other examples out there.

Berit said...

Haha!
I must admit that I once decorated my husband's birhday cake with a border of pink roses and green leaves - and a group of small green caterpillars marching straight across. Kind of cute!(he is an enthomologist)

Fluffy Cow said...

I like the ants! The watermelon cakes on the other hand...

Berit said...

I must admit that I once decorated my husband's birthday cake with a border of sweet pink roses and green leaves - and a group of green caterpillars crawling across. (He collects butterflies, so he had it coming) Kind of cute!

Dave said...

Scary.
And woooo, three ants!

Diana Dang said...

I don't think I would touch those cakes...

DevNAbbyMom said...

Ok...this just reminds me when my mom went to a friends house and said that the pecan pie on the table looked good...until the lady said it was apple and they noticed all the roaches on it! EWWW

Sorry...bugs on food is not appetizing even if they are plastic.

WV handist - You gotta handist to the wreckorators that want to think outside the box...and outside the appetizing.

Margaret said...

Yes, it could be worse, they could be roaches!

WV: Enefi...Enefi the ant cakes already! =)

Decadent Housewife said...

Just stick a plastic naked baby on top of them and all will be well.

joyce said...

and here I am fighting ants with ant bait inside the house...which I am not sure is safe. I bet I killed two dozen at this very computer table yesterday. What will they think of next? a poison ant bait cake? or how about a cake in the shape of an ant trap? yum

Anonymous said...

Omg.
Yes, ants at picnics are a given. We don't need to go creating an homage to them, or any of the other disgusting realities of life. As someone already said, the next steps are flies and roaches, and while you are at it, don't forget what happens to your food after you eat it!
Don't forget the bacterial component of disgestion, or of decomposing uneaten food! Make a cake for that, bakers, if you are so intent on crossing the line!!
Cakes are supposed to be happy and celebrating!!!
NOT gory reminders of pestilence!

I will not be able to eat outdoors for a while now. And we also had a problem with those giant black carpenter ants this year.
Alex

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Aw, I wanna see some grubs.

FoodieCrystal said...

Honestly, who thinks of stuff like that?!? Unless you have a child who really likes bugs and you make a bug themed cake, who would want them on a cake? Especially any cake that was suppose to resemble food, ew!

Eloni said...

The 2nd Watermelon Cake also appears to be a CCC.

At least they aren't cockroaches. *serious vom*

Anonymous said...

Okay, I have to say: GAG is right!!
I grew up on a farm where we had to horse-spray our house once a week against flies, so I'll take the ants any day. Besides, the little black ones are good for you!
(T. Sturgeon's "the Synthetic Man.")

Snooze said...

Well, bugs are supposed to be good for the arteries and stuff... but no thanks anyway :)

Love your blog, makes me smile (in horror) every time.

http://verydirtysocks.blogspot.com

knitorpurl said...

If you are going to make a watermelon cake shouldn't you make it a ripe watermelon? (looking at you, watermelon #2)

Nichole Loves Cake said...

Ugh, grossest cakes I've ever seen. I think it might have grossed me out more than Stalin cake or oil-spill-fish cake or even 3d ultrasound cake. Ugh! I hate bugs.

bodoba said...

Nothing shows a yummy cake like a bunch of black squiggling ants. Maybe they'll make a red ant version for valentine's day. (GASPS)

Tracey W. said...

yeah, my local Wallyworld said that cakes with the GAG's are some of the most popular right now, especially with kids.... still doesn't make it right!

Vicki said...

Even without the ants, those watermelon cakes are horrid!

knitwit said...

Ewwwwwww...

Annelise said...

You know, there's a restaurant in Mississippi called the Blow Fly Inn that puts plastic flies on every plate of food that leaves the kitchen. This plastic insect thing is really getting out of control!

Angela said...

OK, now normally I agree with you on what makes an unappetizing cake, but I must defend the GAGs. If I know an ant is interested in eating the cake, no matter how disgusting it may look, some part of my brain turns on and says "Hey, look, the ant wants it! you don't want the ant to eat all that, do you? No. So go eat it! Now!" It seems a highly effective way of moving bad cakes. And besides, they're kinda cute, aren't they?

Anonymous said...

I kinda like the ones carrying the cupcake away. *blush*

I see, though, how this sets a dangerous precedent for other creepy crawlies on my desert. And that is something I do NOT want!

Becky

wv: lordi - "oh lordi Mabel, we gots us an ant problem again!"

Anonymous said...

EEWWW! Just eeewwww!!

Ms Avery said...

What the hell is that last one meant to be? A patriotic boomerang?

Anonymous said...

MmmMmmmM! Protein!

I'd rather have a nice scoop of ice cream with my cake not RAID lol

Cottagecheap said...

okay...sue me...I think they are KYOOT! :D

I think one carrying a cupcake out of a CCC (Patooey) would be good.

FUTHERMORE....I like the litterbox cake too, so I am of no mind to judge! :D

Rachael said...

Come on now. They may be cute for a picnic idea cake or halloween (maybe), but whoever came up with this idea should be taken out back and beaten.

frigglesnitz said...

Antibodies! BWAHAHAHA!

I love bad puns. (Like there's such thing as a good one.)

WV Culnewuu- (cull-nay-woo)-when a wreckorator tries to impress, using all their talents, as in," Wow! That ant placement is just culnewuu!"

Joshua said...

"A horror horde of crawl-and-crush giants clawing out of the earth from mile-deep catacombs!"

Sarah said...

I think some of them are cute!

Kirsten and Sean said...

I had a picture of an ant cake for almost two months on my camera that I kept meaning to send you...it had Airbrushing, piles of "dirt" aka chocolate crumbs, and then the giant ants--and then my camera broke and the picture is gone FOREVER!!!! Too bad...it was AWESOME

Terri said...

Dude, that's just wrong.

Sili said...

I'm sorry, but I love the idea. Just not the plastic.

Sugary/chocolatey bugs strategically placed would amuse me no end.

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

My sister had an ant bride and groom on top of her wedding cake.

Yes.

I'm serious.

Actually it was pretty cute. They had a picnic theme going for the reception/open house (it was casual).

Eric said...

I am afraid I have to respectfully disagree about the first cake being a wreck. (it's not amazing, either.) It's not my thing, but I could see it appealing to the right kind of quirky picnic attendee. At least the icing in evenly colored and applied.

Those watermelons, though. Yeesh.

Christina M. said...

And I had just taken a picture of a watermelon CCC I was going to send to Jen, thinking it couldn't get any worse than this. It just did.

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Ants worked for me on a cake once, but only as a joke. And even then I wanted to scream at first.

Amanda in Austin said...

The CCC that is supposed to look like a slice of watermelon ... that's just sad.

Anna said...

pesky "antics"

You slay me!

Ashley said...

You forgot to spit at the mention of the CCC! *patooie*

Sharon said...

I like the first one, ants and all. But the fail is all over those other ones. Ants and picnics.. I get that. Ants and watermelon...not so much. Nothing you could put on top of those would save those watermelon cakes.

Marshall, Texas has a Fireant Festival coming up in October.

They would probably be interested in these 'new sprinkles'.

JenB said...

Okay, I'll admit it...I actually think the ants are adorable. I love them! At least they weren't plastic cockroaches or maggots. o.O

I could do without the hideous CCC and melted watermelon cake though. Those were pretty unappetizing even without the giant insects. Blech.

LittleLovables said...

at least the one with the cupcake turned upside down like the ants were trying to haul it away was a little creative... at least they got something, right?!

Lori said...

This just reminds me of both litterbox cake and dirt pudding (you know, cake crumbles with pudding and gummy worms in a ceramic pot? My husband used to make it when he was little). By comparison, I can't say I find it that gross. I think ants are cute, and definitely better than flies!

Of course, no amount of cute ants can save an ugly cake!

jackie31337 said...

You know it's a serious infestation when Jen comes up with an acronym for it. GAG indeed!

Stephanie said...

*stares at "watermelon" cakes* Maybe the ants were to help folks figure out what they're supposed to be? Not that it makes them any less ugly...

Elena said...

I actually think it's kind of cute...In a disturbing, ruined-picnic sort of way. At least they're plastic?

mollymouse said...

those ants are really scary. well, I just lost my appetite.

I'm Just a Girl said...

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords...

Karen said...

klschmidt1309:

This may have been said but I'm at lunch and don't have time to read all the comments (sorry folks). I can FORGIVE the picnic one as being part of a theme, but the rest are just ... well ... YUCK!!!

joanne wardle said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Dani said...

I've seen these everywhere and wondered about taking a picture to send it in- looks like you've got enough. :) So odd.

alicia said...

dear god, that watermelon ccc is a special kind of awful.

I'll echo the sentiment that the first ant cake is pretty cute. It's a well done cake and the ants are put on in a realistic manner. The rest of the ant cakes are super gross, though.

Amy said...

Wow. Talk about giving someone the creepy-crawlies! (shiver) YUK!

~Amy B.

JenDiggity said...

I think the ants are adorable for a summer cake!

celestejohnson said...

I haven't seen any of these yet at our local wreckery but if I did, I would totally buy one as a joke for my friend who when we went camping together was FREAKED out by the HUGE carpenter ants that were everywhere... (insert evil cackle) :-)

diddleymaz said...

Re the last one , everyone over this side of the puddle knows you lot are crazy...this just proves it!

Anonymous said...

Anony @ 9:36:
Two thumbs up for the somewhat obscure horror movie reference! :)

I'm Just A Girl:
Another double thumbs up for the nicely fitting Simpsons quote. :)

The plastic ants are pretty icky, and it's sad how many cakes have them... but I can imagine far worse critters to have swarming over your dessert plate... *shudder*

Lizzy Leigh said...

BETH! Don't give them any ideas!

Personly...EW! Of course I have a slight fear of ants, so there you go.

If I saw a cake like that at an event I would run away screaming, after throwing the cake in the air and smooching it.

Cr4zySAHMandArmywife said...

I love your site!

Allyson said...

I kinda like the bugs!

Forest Basenji said...

Yuck! Like Julie, I have those ginormous carpenter ants too. And how about a great big WTF for the watermelon cakes. Even without the ants, they deserve a hearty WTF???

The first watermelon cake resembles one of those horrifying STD photos they show you in health class. The second watermelon cake has actually managed to capture the idea of "watermelon"- just one that was cut open while unripe. And the 3rd, the CCC (snort....snoooooort....hoccck-retcch...pa-TOOEY!!!) bears a vague, cartoonish resemblance to a squirt of Aquafresh toothpaste. With black specks and ants on it.

Today, giant plastic ants. Tomorrow, giant plastic roaches, or even rats. Gosh, what is the world of cake decorating coming to?
WV: "wasta"...Too easy. "The specimens on todays Cake Wrecks entry are nothin' but a wasta perfectly good cake!"

Laura said...

so, is that second one supposed to be a red and white checkered table cloth? if so, the airbrushing is terrible! if not, then I don't have a clue what it is! and those watermelons? wow. eww. that melted one in particular. just eww.

Warren Burstein said...

Rose Levy Beranbaum has two different recipes that include edible bees as a garnish (one made from ganache, another from marzipan) in the Cake Bible and the Pie and Pastry Bible.

Lisa said...

For my mother-in-law's birthday yesterday, we ate a very pretty watermelon ice cream cake... that was covered in the GAG. One of them was even sitting up perched on the edge of the cake. These were not plastic, but had been piped with butter cream. I ate them. Yum.

Greenmare said...

yup, the big fat plastic ants have made it to Wisconsin too! we saw some on a watermelon cake at the grocery store, and decided to pass on it!

Lisa said...

For my mother-in-law's birthday yesterday, we ate a very pretty air brushed (it actually wasn't a bad job with the air brushing) watermelon ice cream cake... that was covered in the GAG. One of them was even sitting up perched on the edge of the cake. These were not plastic, but had been piped with butter cream. I ate them. Yum.

Sara said...

Yep, saw these at my local mega chain grocery store bakery yesterday. It's sorta a new concept for me - remembering to take a camera when I go grocery shopping - but just wait til I get my next mobile phone upgrade!

Flower Design Jane said...

I needed something to stop me eating cake, thanks for this

Holly said...

Holy hell, is that last CCC really supposed to be a watermelon?! REALLY!!??? Because what says watermelon like an amorphous-wonky-v-shaped line of cupcakes with ants on them? I'll tell you! An amorphous-wonky-v-shaped line of cupcakes with ants on them AND American flags! Yep, that really just ties the room together, does it not?

I have to say the GAG phenomenon was not something I had ANTicipated. Wreckerators never cease to amaze.

theprovidentwoman said...

I'm sorry, I would have trouble eating a cake with ants on it. Fake or not.

Angie said...

Why, in the name of all that is good & cakey, would ANYBODY do that to a cake? I mean, really! What did that cake ever do to them?

Why not just serve up the crushed roach cake from a while back & be done with it?

Cakes like these make the low carb diet pretty easy...

Miranda said...

No! Ewwwww! WTF!

Speaking of cake wrecks...the flower shaped candy molds that I use to make candy roses to put on my cakes? Well, like an idiot, I put them in the dishwasher, thinking the top rack would be safe.

NOT SAFE AT ALL. Melted! :(

christagirl said...

NopeNopeNope....G.R.O.S.S.!!!!!

Brittany said...

can you eat the ants? not that i would... yeah i wouldn't go near those...

Nichole Loves Cake! said...

Rachael said...
"Come on now. They may be cute for a picnic idea cake or halloween (maybe), but whoever came up with this idea should be taken out back and beaten."

LOL! This comment is hilarious.

purplewowies said...

The first one is actually kinda well-made (the placement of the ants on the cake is actually cute -- they're going for toppings on the cake). The others aren't horrible... 'til you get to the watermelons.

And BTW, some ANTibodies can actually make you sick, but it's usually not with INSECTious disease.

(Sorry, after I read the anteater joke, I HAD to make that pun.)

Aunt of 14 said...

GAG is totally the right word for those ant cakes!!!

Graceful Moments said...

Okay these ant cakes really gagged me but the comment about the apple pie that looked like pecan pie because of the roaches...well,...okay I'm back from tossing my cookies...really made me sick.

steeple333 said...

I thought the second was alright and the forth one cute in a meta sense, but I do admit that the ant experiences I've had were with the tiny variety, if they were inside at all.

But GAGs on a regular/squahed watermelon cake? They live up to their acronym.

wv: press. I'd be hard-pressed to eat some of those cakes.

Katherine said...

I was waiting for these to turn up...We had a large box of these ants for decorating ice cream cakes when I worked at Dairy Queen...I never saw them go on a cake, but off-cake they are kinda cute, and I took a couple home.

Scritzy said...

I have a HUGE phobia about black ants.

These cakes would have me running out of the store/bakery/room screaming.

Just. plain. GROSS.

Anonymous said...

@Annelise:
Ha! Had forgotten the Blow Fly Inn. Someho that is different.
The food there is not a wreck for one. Maybe that it is an original place and unique helps.
Also, the plastic flies look like horse flies not blow flies, which would be much worse.
You made me want catfish!
Did the Inn survive Katrina?

Alex

Tara said...

I saw those yesterday at a certain "SuperCenter" and thought it would make a good cake wreck!

WV: banny: Someone needs to put a banny on those big ol' ants!

Cheryl said...

The cakes meant to look like a picnic, the ants make sense to me and it doesn't gross me out enough I'd lose my appetite. The first cake, though...*turns green as the frosting* WHY are there ants on that one? That is just disgusting and I do not care how obvious it is the ants are not real; just the thought of eating a piece of that cake makes me want to hurl.

Lori said...

Perfect! I'm on a break from prepping my apartment for bed bug removal. I'll ask my pest control officer if he can take a look at these, too!

Anonymous said...

Ok. The only times bugs of any kind are acceptable on a cake are:

1) Halloween

2) If the recipient is an entomologist (or studying to become one).

Otherwise, NO BUGS! (Butterflies are acceptable, though, as they are pretty).

Wizzie Brown said...

Being an entomologist who researches ants, I'm all for the ants.

Maybe I shouldn't mention anything about how many insect/ insect pieces are in everyday food items?!

Mollie said...

I think the ants are friggin' cute!

Elvira said...

What fresh hell is this? This is cake abomination! Since I suffer from Entomophobia I will NOT be purchasing these atrocities to overcome my fear. Nothankyouverymuch

Kate said...

The first one is kinda cute...the other ones, though, would be pretty bad even without the ants.

Kay said...

I saw a watermelon CCC with giant ants on it and thought: this should be on CW! I am glad my instincts are sharpening!

Anonymous said...

Ugg that first cake looks horrible, (the others arn't much better) I think the ants are an improvement at least they add a bit of humour to distract from the awefull cake

Cedar said...

I have to admit I find the one with the cupcake on top very cute in theory--it's too bad it's so messily done with that incomprehensible orange gate-thing background.

ElizabethB said...

I follow @WiltonCakes on Twitter. This was their latest post "Today is Watermelon Day. Can you believe this is a cake? http://bit.ly/QnKOB "
Link: http://twitter.com/WiltonCakes/status/3110508479

They don't include the ants tho.

ksaldria said...

Why? Whyyyyyy? D: I would scream if someone brought me one of those.

Glory von Hathor said...

That cake at the top is wonderfully 70s. It's got the glace cherries. All it needs is some angelica and maybe a pineapple ring and we're ready to glam-rock.

Vivian said...

Is it wrong that I actually think the ants are really cute? Is it worse that I am wondering where I could get some for the next party I have? And is it worse still that I had decided not to have a birthday party this year, but now I begin to reconsider *just* because of the possibility of a cake with decorative ants on it?

Or spiders. Spiders would be even *better*...

LeAnne said...

These cakes are awesome in a twisted way. I would so buy one for my sisters...lol...payback for putting fake bugs in my bed when I was little...told them I would get them back one day...

Wolvie Girl said...

When I looked at the first cake, trying to spot the creepiness, at first I thought it was something to do with the green icing. It made me feel a little ill, in fact I've been known to turn that colour when I'm really sick. Then I noticed the ants, which look like they could administer a very nasty sting. I sort of get the ones where the ants are part of a picnic theme, but the cakes are so ugly I just wish the ants would hurry up and devour them, especially that first watermelon cake, although I don't think any self respecing ant would want to eat something that looked like an incurable disease. I have to admit, though, that the last ccc (bleahhh! snort! patoooeyyyyy!) would look kind of nice if they just filled in the curve properly with a couple more red ones.

Dea said...

BLEGH. I dislike all insects, living or fake. EEEW. NOT cute....

~Alissa said...

I have to admit that I made a cake shaped like a PB&J sandwich for our elementary school fundraising cake auction this year, and I made little ants out of chocolate to go on top. I thought it was cute and the kids went crazy for it. My cake brought in $35!

I'm just glad to see that, once again, I am a trend setter!

Anonymous said...

If oversized plastic ants are "the new sprinkles" does that mean there are updated versions of "I want sprinkles" apparel in the making...?

Just askin'... ::grin::

sendingtheclowns said...

Oh, I agree that maggots (let's say, for the sake of argument, rubber or gummi ones) would've been ever so much ickier.
Although, from a my perspective, really tiny ants--and TONS of them scattered about--would be more "picnicky" than the ones from the Big & Cutsie aisle.
Don't lets veer off the path of the main objective, though--which is (obviously) to distract the eye from noticing how pitiful-looking the cakes themselves are...

=^u.u^=

Angel said...

:( I think they're utterly adorable and am trying to figure out how I can get them on my planned birthday cake.

And then after I eat the cake I'll torture my coworkers with them. Nomnomnom!

Anonymous said...

That last one? The CCC?

Why are there five pig snouts in the corner of a pool table?

The ants make more sense than the rest of the cake...

Anonymous said...

I would like to point out that I do the ordering for all the cake kits as head decorator in the bakery I work in, and I REFUSE to order these, no matter how many of my coworkers tell me how "cuuuuute" they are! Ha!

Anonymous said...

Those GAGs look about as big as the oriental cockroaches I squashed in my garage last week.

Shudder.

Raine said...

I think Im gonna be sick...

luica said...

ewwwwww!!!!!! gross!
that is disgusting!
*grossed out lucia

Kelsie said...

I saw some of those at wal-mart last week. They did not make me want watermelon =/

Dingo said...

I think it's wonderful, then again, most of my cakes involved fake blood and zombies with a dash of fake ants...So, I may be a little biased.

The Horror Show

www.rabidsaladandgiggleskips.blogspot.com

rethoryke said...

I just got a catalog of novelty items from China -- it's meant as a toy catalog, or a source of freebies or quick sales at festival events. But I did notice "Life-Like Ants" as one of the items for sale, and I wondered who really needed such things.

Now, to my horror, I _know_.

redmission said...

I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at "Wouldn't want some other country claiming this one, now, would we?" Your blog is truly amazing and I check it out every day! My Monday just got way better!

Andy
24, Charlotte, NC
http://www.redmissionmusic.com

Anonymous said...

How about a juicy millipede on a dirt-colored cake with neon-green grass?

Ann said...

Don't know if you are dropping a few tabs or doing this straight but you must be making this stuff up.

Lisa. said...

Oh, my.

I did the whole "Groaning while throwing your hands up to your face and turning your head to the side, saying 'That's hoooorible.' the entire time; Only to continue groaning as you slowly slide your hands down your face, pulling your cheeks with them and making you look like your face is melting off." thing.

What? That's just me? Well, I did that.

Emily said...

OH MY GOSH! I THINK THEY'RE ADORABLE!

Randall said...

I like them as long as the cake they are on is well done, but then again, I really like bugs.

However they just make the CCC's and the other badly done cakes worse.

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous said...
"Those GAGs look about as big as the oriental cockroaches I squashed in my garage last week."
*****
Just a thought: maybe you'd have felt differently about them if--instead of Oriental cockroaches--they had been "ornimental" cockroaches.
=^>.<^=

colleenoz said...

While I concede that the judiciously placed ant might enhance a cake with, say, a picnic theme, indicrminANT use of them is just silly as well as off-putting.
And what's with the CCC? Celebrating the buiding of the walls between the Catholic and the Protestant areas in Belfast? Was that US-sponsored? I had no idea. Or, why the flags? *tongue firmly in cheek*

WV: caropsup - When I look at that smooshed watermelon cake my lunch just caropsup

Anonymous said...

If they're going to have giant ants - shouldn't they have a radioactive blue frosting corner, screaming B-movie victims, and little toy marines battling them in the LA Sewer system like in the movie THEM!!!

Sophie said...

Oh ick yuck bleah. To me, this falls into the same category as birthday cards with fart-centric jokes. What are people thinking?

Anonymous said...

When I looked at your buggy feature this morning it had an orkin ad running with scurrying roaches. Nice coordination there.

April said...

Alex,
You forgot to say, "Can I get an A-MEN?!" But, I'll give you one anyway, "A-MEN, brother/sister!"

Lynn said...

My opinion of these awful cakes/CCC is they flopped in the oven and the bakery people just had to use up the leftover frostings to cover up the mess ! The ants are never cute on food and it confirms my dislike for plastic junk on cakes...lazy, untalented decorators !

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous said...
"If they're going to have giant ants - shouldn't they have a radioactive blue frosting corner, screaming B-movie victims, and little toy marines battling them in the LA Sewer system like in the movie THEM!!!"
****
But then it wouldn't be a "wreck"!!
That whole scene would be fANTastically awesome!!!
I would BUY that!
=^OO^=

Lillian'sheart said...

OMG!! I was eating when I read this. Key word: WAS. That seriously made my stomach turn...

wv - stammuc: those ants made my stammuc queasy

qw88nb88 said...

I think the plastic ants are fun! The first cake is cute, but by the end of the series, you have some really UG-LY cakes!

come to think of it, we've had a plastic ant (from some random children's game) sitting on the kitchen window frame for a few months now... but those ants are a lot cuter. (-:

andrea

Anonymous said...

And this is why I don't read CakeWrecks at work.

*snort*

Jamie said...

Think of the possibilities--how about an anthill with GAGs pouring out of it? Or a Black Flag/Raid can cake with a gaggle of belly-up GAGs? (Yes, I'm an entomologist, and love a good bug-themed cake!)

Jim Todd said...

*cringe* (frantically looking for a can of Raid)...lol

Tanya said...

OMG! I totally need someone to send me some of those ants. I haven't seen them anywhere and I have a small boy who would love those on his birthday cake.

Dominique B. said...

These cakes remind me of a story I wrote when I was about 5. Perhaps it's all a ploy to leave more care for the grown-ups.

"There once lived a hamburger. His daddy was a Big Mac, and his mother was a Whopper. The baby was a Whopper that only a mouse could eat. His relatives were the French Fries, Chicken McNuggets and the Cokes came over for a birthday party. They made a cake. It was supposed to be for Chicken McNugget's birthday. They ate all the cake. They made another one. Every big person made it except Chicken McNugget. They put fake bugs all over the cakes so that the kids will think they are real and won't eat the cake. The French Fries made some Sprite to drink for the birthday party. And soon they got a new swimming pool. The kids threw the fake bugs into the pool. The kids ate the cake all gone. The parents made a new cake. They put 1,000 tarantulas in on the frosting (fake ones made of frosting). The kids did not take one single bite. The kids gave their aunt a humongous mansion. Since the aunt brought her baby along, they gave the baby a rattle. The end."

heather.adkins said...

the kroger in my town has been putting ants on their cakes--particularly the watermelon ones-- all summer. i don't get it!

Lauren said...

I work in a bakery and I don't want to say how many of these i made. For some odd reason people LOVED them. Not only that but one lady even referred to them as "cute". As much as this disturbed me - I get paid to make cakes such as these so I just went with it. The other cake decorator and myself were equally as confused and disgusted as you lol!

Aviatrix said...

This is one of the simplest and most astonishing ways to wreck a cake I've ever seen. I'm a habitual apologist for cake wrecks: they delivered what they thought the customer wanted; they were working with limited skill; they didn't have all day. I'm not a bugaphobe. I've eaten live ants (they're good, crunchy and a little tart, almost lemony). But I don't want giant ants on my cake.

Heather said...

ugh...I had a carpenter ant problem a while back and they got to be an inch long! As soon as I saw thing cake, I thought it was the carpenters ants I exterminated plotting revenge.

EponineC said...

"Because, really, how else could you make this cake less appetizing?"

By squashing the box it came in.

Kari & James said...

I saw the "watermelon with ants" in an ice cream cake version at DQ last weekend. It almost looked like some kind of a farm theme from the side until you saw the watermelon part on the top.

(ian) said...

I am the lead baker at a Kroger owned grocery store, and I can say that the GAG's are part of a mandatory "summertime" theme that our cake decorators have to include, handed down from corporate on high. Just like each bakery is required to have a certain amount of god awful CCCs on hand at all times. It is important to keep in mind that these days, the average grocery store decorator has around Level 1 Wilton experience, and rather than improving those skills, Kroger (and Wallyworld) choose to cater to them with huge amounts of plastic crap.

Bets said...

I'm a little scared to say this but: I like them (ducks).

Anonymous said...

I totally made my son an anthill cake for his insect-themed 2nd birthday. But his had hundreds of ants. And it was pretty yummy. And it was covered in graham cracker "dirt". In fact, it was not the worst cake I've ever made.

Lyn said...

Those ants are so cute!

Robyn the Slug said...

My parents had a picnic themed wedding at a local park, complete with bride and groom ants on top of their chocolate cake.

Anonymous said...

my little boy wants ants on his cake for his 5th b-day, they'e too cute!

Sophie said...

LoL.... My coworker Nancy loves those... I actually didn't put those on an order someone put in for a watermelon CCC, and she wanted them after all.

Tora said...

I'm willing to excuse the plastic ants, but only because one of the cakes Wally World had on display a while ago was covered in real ones. If I recall correctly, it was an over-iced cupcake cake. (Ptooie!)

Ant said...

Ants are awesome. :)

Craig said...

#1 Cherries, giant ants and avocado-green frosting. What's not to love?

#3 Buttercream? Deal. Yellow cake? Deal. Disgusting giant ants? NO DEAL.

Giant ants were the 'villain' in at least two episodes of The Outer Limits, which is what I think of when I see these wrecks.

If these wreckerators wanted to be really cute and clever, they would use life-size plastic ants. Helps get rid of those pesky 'customers' so you have more time for important things, like posting resumes.

Smile said...

That second to last one looks like the vampire ants have sucked all the juice out...