Wednesday, August 26, 2009

9 Out of 10 Child Psychologists Agree:

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

These cakes will keep them in business for a loooong time.

"Come closer, children. We only want to wish you a happy birthday. Hehehehe. Thaaat's right, just a littttle closer...."

[insane giggling]

"What? Haven't you ever seen a partially melted M&M before? I may only have a hand stump, but I can still clean your clock, buster. Just ask the last guy."


"Mmmphm eeeph mmife!"


Lisa F., Teresa F., Michelle T., & Nana T., these cakes could be a powerful parenting tool. "Behave, kids, or I'll take you to the bakery again!"

- Related Wreckage: Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

The last one: The Chocolate Chip Mafia sends Cookie Monster's family a strong message.

Fluffy Cow said...

Oh, these are SOO wrong!!! The M is slightly reminiscent of the kool-aid dude. A very wonky, angry Kool-aid dude.

frigglesnitz said...

The soul-less of the yarn dog cakes, the ultra-attentive eyes of the hamburger, and the demented eyes of Sponge Bob all seem to me following me.

Protect me, angry M & M!

Wide Awake Wife said...

Wow. These cakes are amazing! The M&M one is my favorite! All legs! I also like the last one. It looks like cookie monster with a cookie stuck in his mouth.

mysleepinghusband.com

PerkinsClan said...

That top cake cost $23.99? Wow. I really gotta start charging more for my cakes!

Amanda in Austin said...

So, what is Cookie Monster really trying to say? "STOP STICKING CANDLES IN MY FACE!"

vb said...

0_o good grief

Southern Sugar said...

That last one looks like the opener for "Dateline: When Cookies Attack".

WV: haster. She haster read CakeWrecks every day.

Ophelia said...

The M&M's right arm is attached to its leg, rather than the leg being attached to the body. Not that I think cupcake cakes are EVER made right, but this one has extra wrong :(

Brad said...

Cookie Monster has a wicked bald spot. Man he is getting old.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

A partially melted M&M with a Rockette's legs. Odd. Very odd.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Anonymous said...

I remember the good old days when we were misbehaving, my mother would threaten to take us to the oprhanage, not the bakery as punishment. I guess times really have changed.

Trevor said...

Seriously, the first one really isn't THAT bad. A little odd, but not too wrekcy. The second one, well, yeah, he does look slighly derranged, doens't he?

But the rest?! Oh geez! Those, THOSE are the cakes that I come to CW for! In the last one, it appears that Cookie Monster (I think) has learned what happens when you cross Cosa Nostra

S3XinthePantry said...

No, cookie monster is saying 'help! my head is melting!"

(maybe his hair caught on fire?)

Famous Hat said...

That is genius the way they combined two candies for the one cake: an M&M body and Circus Peanut legs!

birater: Oops, someone dropped the SpongeBob SquarePants cake in the birater! Maybe nobody will notice...

Amanda M. said...

Wow, I thought the hamburger cake was the worst until I saw the "M&M" (if that is what it's supposed to be!). What is with the super long legs and t-rex arm?

Tilley's Mum said...

The Sponge Bob cake made my sides hurt.

Melinda said...

I find the hamburger with eyes the creepiest. Yikes!

Miracle said...

That "Spongebob" cake is so creepy. I think it is the eyes that do it. Can you imagine ANY child wanting this as their birthday cake??

My son would have nightmares!!

Anonymous said...

Should i even be surprised that the person that BOUGHT the blue cookie-moster-ish cake is serving it right in the supermarket bag it presumably came home in?? It's all about presentation people...

Stephanie said...

Oh my... those are, umm, disturbing... O_O

Nearlydawn said...

I really, really like that the last cake is almost off of it's cakeboard circle, is obviously damaged, is STILL in the shopping bag... AND!... AND!... it is LIT!!!!!!! OMG!!!

Who serves cake that way?!?!?!

I'm just guessing here, but the person serving that cake is probably not your wreckporter...

Either that, or they are a stressed out Momma that, in a rush to finish last minute shopping, 1/2 dropped the cake and just wants to serve the damn thing to get the stupid party over with already.

I'm very willing to accept either answer. :)

Sometimes I would SOOOO love to hear the full back-story on these gems.

Pippa said...

That's the Cookie Monster? I thought it was the last guy Mrs M&M got hold of...

Milo said...

It looks like Spongebob is in a straight jacket.

Donna said...

the sponegbob one looks like they dropped acid while watching an episode-yikes!!

Grace said...

Ode To Cake Wrecks.

When I am sad and blue
I think of you.
frosting,gobs of goo.
fondant mysteries.
all them make me love you.

drgns4vr said...

I am so glad you told me that red thing was an M&M. I thought it was a tomato with legs, which was creepy enough. Then I looked closer and saw the M on the hat band and couldn't think why a tomato would start with M. ("Just call me Mateo"?)

Mess Maker said...

my immediate response to that sponge bob cake was that it was supposed to be a cake featuring Eugene Levy AS Sponge Bob. maybe it's the eyebrow/lashes....

Kristen said...

I don't know which would haunt me more...the ghost-puppies or the zombieburger.

Chris, Gina and Hunter said...

What happened to cookie monster's forehead?

Or Spongebobs face?

Wow those are pretty amazing.

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

@Mess Maker...
That does look like Eugene Levy as SpongeBob!

You think he'll get a call when they start casting for a SpongeBob live-action movie?

Bryna said...

Just because you jam a cookie into a blue blob, it does NOT make it Cookie Monster!!!!

And can you believe that they are trying to sell those first cakes for $23.99!?!?! Highway wreckory!

Terry Lee said...

oh lord. oh dear lord.

well, i will say this about the cookie monster cake:

anyone with a four year old knows exactly what happened to that missing icing. check the kid's teeth. bet they're blue.

also, i wouldn't be too quick to criticize the poor mama or whomever is serving that sad wreck. i doubt the 4 year old even noticed (or cared) it was still in the bag.

i'm just sayin'.

terry lee
(a v. tired mother of three)

Sarah said...

I... misread the word "clock" at first. D:

Simon Howard said...

The thing to remember when looking at the red M&M guy: the red coloring for M&Ms is made from Carmine (Cochnineal). His skin is made from crushed insects.

Yum!

Karen from Mentor said...

A) why would a hamburger have eyes?

B) why would they be bloodshot?

MalMal said...

I think the Cookie Monster cake is a cautionary tale about cookie addiction. Sort of like those meth commercials. Not even once, kids. Spongebob looks like he's been hittin' the meth himself...

wv: colonse. I wonder what blue frosting does to them....

hotpants™ said...

The SpongeBob cake may give me nightmares. That's horrible.

Anonymous said...

Always my last stop after surfing the web. You put a smile on my face every day!

ladykay said...

"Just call me Mateo"

ROFLOL!!!

Kelly said...

Yikes! I need therapy just looking at the photos. I can't imagine the children who received such madness.

The M&M looks like they were trying to make the seductive legs (like they show on the green girl M in the commercials) but WAY worse!

Spongebob is wacky enough on his own, much less wreckified!

And the poor cookie cake. I'd watch who you mess with for torture like that!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

All of these make me squeak: "Mommy!"

@Taylor--That's EXACTLY what I thought!! chocolate chip mafia...XD

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

The real problem isn't terrifying cakes that drive children to the school counselor. The real problem is that CW doesn't have a tour stop in north Atlanta.

We're a very important city, dangit! And we have excellent bakeries!

Anonymous said...

I totally thought that M&M ccc was Meatwad from Aqua Teen.

Anonymous said...

Love the apparently high hamburger cake. Or maybe it's hungover?

Sara Otterst├Ątter said...

I cannot decide yet, which part of the first sample is creepier. Cannibal cake's evil brother with his bloodshoted eyes or his two undead melting zombie-puppy-sidekicks. With their hollow eyes O_O

But I know for sure they are here to partyyyy!!! Like their dear friends Jason Vorhees, Freddy Krueger, Micheal Myers, this guy with the chainsaw....

Joy said...

My tot just said, "Ewww...it's like poop."

Kathryn said...

Scared straight for delinquent cupcakes.

lisadh said...

OMG! Those made me laugh! So, so, SO wrong! Great post, Jen. Classic wrecks!

wv: atila
"Mommy, why are we going to the bakery?"
"Atila later, dearies..."

Lucille Ball Jr. said...

that last one. . . . and that sponge bob. ah!

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

I wish you could witness the look of utter disbelief and horror on my face right now.

What the hell is with these cakes? WHY does a hamburger have bloodshot eyes in the 1st picture? And WHY would someone pay $23.99 for that monstrosity?

Dear heavens... my inner child is freaking out.

Durable Goods said...

I'm so glad that others have pointed out the lit Cookie Monster still in the bag... what kind of lameass presentation is that?!

Nina T. said...

I submitted the "Cookie Monster" and if I could have posted the dialogue, it would have been Grandpa saying "Here! Light the s*** and let's go!"

That is the actual quote, folks. So my apologies for the "presentation" or lack thereof!

Anonymous said...

Those fluffy little dogs are a near miss IMO. Their smiles are actually very sweet and their poses are cute--and from the photo, at least, it looks like the frosting fur is well done.

But the eyes AAAIEEE THE EYES.

Word verification: gynelene. The main ingredient in airbrush frosting.

Mandy said...

OMG, that bloodshot-eyed hamburger cake (for only $23.99!!!) definitely gave me the willies!

Well, it was a toss-up between that and the deranged Sponge Bob.


WV: "decto" ~ Wreckerators may sometimes refer to their creations as 'art decto'.

Delaney said...

Why does the Hanburger cake have BLOODSHOT eyes? Why? It shouldn't have eyes in the first place! And why do they need to be bloodshot? I can't... I can't stop staring at them...

Miranda said...

OMFG!!!

Sponge bob looks utterly demented. The rest look like they were made by someone demented!

Anonymous said...

The hamburger cake in the first picture looks like it's geared towards stoners. The eyes have it all.

:::b r a n d i::: said...

OK, at first I thought the M&M cake was supposed to be the KoolAid man.

Rebecca said...

The thing about the M&M cake - isn't the green one the female?!! Those legs on the red guy seem a little. . .. well appropriate for a wreck!

Anonymous said...

At the risk of being pedantic, I think the third one is Mr. Jelly Belly. I only thought of this because I've been to the Jelly Belly factory (yum!) in Northern California. Still wrecktastic, though!

Randall said...

That m&m one looks more like the KoolAid man. OH YEAH!

mb. said...

the last blue thing (cookie monster wanna-be; I will take your word for it)...oh g*d I cannot stop laughing.

//on another note my captcha for this post was "grade F". Even the sec check has an opinion.

Brutalism said...

Forget the CHILD psychologists...those are going to keep MY psychologist in business. AAAIIIEEEE....

steeple333 said...

Haha, oh man, the Spngebob one is soo creepily terrifying that I can't stop laughing. XD Traumatize your target audience! Surely a recipe for success.

Tamara said...

Oh dear. Oh Dear... Oh DEAR!

I did a Spongebob once, and it was legless- which in my mind qualified it as a wreck...but after seeing this one...I think mine was PURE GENIUS! Wow. Really. Wow.

It takes a special sort of talent to make something like that - even more special to charge someone for it.

welltakethecake.com

peewee said...

Wow. Never seen a chef stripper M&M with cellulite before. Is that from their new fall line?

sendingtheclowns said...

I want to see the cake that Cakeblob Queerpants is lounging up against the pedestal OF. (I know, that's a pretty disjointed sentence. Whatever.)
Maybe that unseen cake looks even WORSE than Old Olive eyes, and he looked at it, and became hypnotized--frozen in fear--like someone who'd gazed upon Medusa.
That would make SOME sense, at least, of an otherwise just plain hinky cake.
=^@@^=

Kaileigh said...

OMG! This is the first time I've laughed until I cried in a really long time.

These were great!

Anonymous said...

What's with the colored spots on Spongebob's face? He looks like he has the sponge version of chicken pox.

Goof said...

The hamburger cake would have been cool if it didn't have eyes.

terri said...

MOMMY! NOOOOOOO . . . . !!! I'll be good, I promise! Make it goooo awaaaaayyyy . . . Please . . . I'll be good, I promise!

Sorry, childhood cakewreck flashback . . .

word verify: 'tradu' A combined verb-noun, "I'll tradu one dead cookie monster cake for one stoned hamburger cake."

K. said...

Ahhh! The first one on the left is pretty much Bubbles the Nerdfighting Puppy!!

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous said...
"What's with the colored spots on Spongebob's face? He looks like he has the sponge version of chicken pox."
******
Shhhhhh~~ not many people know this, but Mr. Pants has been moonlighting as a way to make a few extra bucks.
When he's not on his show, he's hanging out in a petri dish in a laboratory [name and location witheld to protect the indegent], being a "guinea-sponge", as it were, for the testing of various new and exciting viruses {Watch for some coming soon to YOUR area!}.

sendingtheclowns said...

in* de* gent [in-dee-juhnt]
-adjective

1. being of the class which are both indecent AND destitute (indigent)

2. a completely made-up word

Tiffany @ Eat at Home said...

On the M&M cake - my daughter asked "why does the tomato have circus peanuts for legs?" Oh my goodness those are bad.

milk and cookeez said...

Spongebob looks like he has rainbow chickenpox and is "Special"

Julie said...

Oh wow! The M & M looks like it has had a few too many.

SpongeBob - I laughed out loud at this one. Too funny!

This is my first visit here. I am loving your site. Can't wait to come back and read some more.

roachc420 said...

I think I now understand why my little guy wants me to bake him a plainish cake with a Transformer stuck on it for his upcoming birthday. Yup, he's willing to gamble on my baking abilities rather than get a wreck.

WV: misheent - I need a misheent that produces perfectly baked cakes with minimum input like a bread misheent.

3T said...

That's like a cross between Spongebob and the creepy old guy on the corner with the really baggy pants and the missing teeth, who your mother wouldn't let you talk to...

Scritzy said...

Oh great ... now I'm going to have nightmares. *shudder*

Redd said...

Is it just me, or does the M&M look like he's hitchiking? Just me? Okay.

He'd probably have better luck getting a ride if he was showing, you know chocolate instaid of those horribly mis-shapen legs.

Camille said...

Those are sure some feminine-looking legs on that M&M.

Marie said...

Those were awesome. Scary. But awesome.
I think the M&M one is supposed to be the Jelly Belly guy.

Anonymous said...

My 3-year old loves Sponge Bob. She was next to me while I was checking this blog, and she immediately squealed and pointed at the screen. "There's Sponge Bob!" Long pause. "It's kind of a different Sponge Bob."

Taeraresh said...

My thought with the cookie monster one is that he's been the victim of a zombie attack, and had the top of his head partially gnawed off.

Brae MacDonald said...

That spongbob one totally freaks me out!!! Whenever I look at it all I can hear is insane laughing!! (Thanks for that Jenn!)

I have chills just thinking about it!!!

Those dogs are weird too.... I don't trust them...

mariamousie1 said...

Is the middle cake in the first pic Mayor McCheese?

Anonymous said...

http://www.threadcakes.com/entries/view/374

http://sendmorecops.tumblr.com/post/172099174/zombie-nomz-cake-edition-a-while-back-i


:) realmartha

Cellar Door said...

The first picture- the one in the middle, the hamburgerish thing? If someone got me that one, I would die of ironic joy at the sight.

Antillectual said...

the spongebob reminded me of spengbab, which is what you get when you run spongebob through anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1WgbfyDZwA&feature=player_embedded

it doesn't get really bad until halfway thru

Jamie said...

LMFAO! I'm not sure what I enjoy more, the wrecks or the comments! I love the Chocolate chip mafia one! I can't believe "Grandpa" said that, LMFAO, he was real excited about the birthday, huh? LOL!

I totally saw the Kool-aid Man!

Bethany said...

You are the only blog that TRULY HONESTLY makes me LAUGH OUT LOUD every stinking day! Thanks!

Dave said...

I'm the only one who thinks the Cookie Monster cake has the candles inserted INTO HIS FREAKING EXPOSED BRAIN?! I thought the caption was hilarious through that lens.

Q: What do you say when people are sticking candles in your brain?

A: "Mmmphm eeeph mmife!"

Pie's Mom said...

Did anyone else notice that Spongebob's tie is sitting on *top* of his hands... which are suspiciously in his lap???

Cupcakes Lady said...

The SpongeBob cake...that aint right. Horrible, springs to mind. First and foremost. xx

Cupcakes Lady said...

The SpongeBob cake...that aint right. Horrible, springs to mind. First and foremost. xx