Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Just Beachy

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

It's summer, the perfect time of year to head out to the seashore and soak up all the natural wonders the beach has to offer.

You know, like the native wildlife:


The clear blue skies,


The majestic palm trees,



The completely family-friendly blue-lined mushroom thingies,


And of course all the great sea life:


[gasping] "Darn you, Valdez. Darn you to heck."



Hey Sue S., Sharon, Alyska B., Sharon R., & Anony M., you know what's pastier than a Minnesotan in January? A Floridian in July. Yep. Now shut the door and hand me my sweater; you're letting all the cold air out.


- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job
Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

Were they commemorating the Great Mackerel Massacre with that last one?



myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

DevNAbbyMom said...

Ok...the others are tolerable but that fish...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Who would want to eat that gross poop colored fish?

Lisa said...

The fish is just awful, how it's leaking fish slime all over the rest of the cake.

And I think that the blue lined mushroom thingy is actually supposed to be a pail. Concept =/= executed well.

Word verification: shipmun
"These were some great beach cakes, but I din't see no ship,mun."

Debbi said...

*blink* *blink*

Sound of jaw hitting the floor.

I *so* was not expecting that last one!!!

Emily said...

I can't believe someone really made an oil spill cake. blech.

but on the otherhand I really don't see anything wrong with that flamingo cake - maybe I need to fine tune my wreckporter skills.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

That last cake is just stomach-turning!

Judy said...

Darn you Jen and John, how dare you put up this posting today. Don't you know there was a tragedy just off the coast of...oh never mind!

Anonymous said...

That mushroom's a bucket! For making sandcastles...?

Evalis said...

I have NO clue what that blue-lined mushroom thingie is supposed to be. I can see waste bin, beach umbrella, barbecue, beach chair,a poor job at a jellyfish, a solar powered lamp (yes they do exist), a basket (both for flowers and also the basketball type), an upside-down party hat and a buoy. Oh and what Jen said - the mushroom.

... lets just stick with 'thingie'. It's easier. (I'm also mildly impressed at the number of things it COULD be. That has to be a difficult skill to master for wrecky decorators.)

Auntie Meme said...

Took me a minute to figure out the last one. Thought it was a mutant toaster until I found the eyes.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

If the mushroom's a bucket, what's the orange thing?

Tigerwolf said...

I have a sunburn from my summer vacation; therefore, I am offended by the depiction of happy summertime activities. Please pull this post at once.

/tongue in cheek :o)

Srsly, love the blog and love this post, but that leaky fish cake is just about to make me lose my breakfast. *Urp!*

^..^

WV: foria. A sheep relaxing on the beach with a margarita is experiencing ewe-foria.

Minerva said...

Oh yeah, THAT's appetizing... Oily dead fish cake! Give ME a piece of THAT!!

BLECH!!!

Sandy said...

The fish? The fish? What were they thinking? It truly is hideous. It took me a second to even figure out what it was! Is it entitled "Death After Spawning"? "Encounter With Electric Dam?" "Forgotten in Cooler"? "Yogi and Boo-Boo's Lost Lunch"?

I need more coffee.

Rebecca F. said...

Wow. The fish is so great. I can't believe it is made from cake!!

And everyone, I bet, I just bet, that Jen *KNEW* it was supposed to be a bucket. Imagine!! She is trying to make commentary on the wreckiness.

Why, oh why, does everyone try to correct you all the time. So maddening.......

Chris, Gina and Hunter said...

Is the water horizontal or is the flamingo horizontal?

Fanboy Wife said...

Did the "clear blue skies" decorator make it past first grade art? What kind of perspective did s/he use? (Did s/he use any at all?)

drgns4vr said...

I must admit my favorite is the flamingo slinking across the snow on its way into the wild blue crumpled Kleenex. I wonder what music is playing as he slouches along. Is he the last of his band? Maybe it's just time to check my meds after looking at the rest of today's offerings.

WV ducti, as in "Everything is just ducti--and the flamingo looks fine, too.

Hanna said...

Oh dear god what is that thing?

Bridget Kean said...

Well That ain't Fudgey the Whale!

Julie said...

That fish is gross.

I'm disturbed by the perspective on most of these...Why do some of them have the water at a 90 degree angle to the beach? This makes no sense!

frigglesnitz said...

I love how the flamingo is holding off the tsunami with its head. Brave flamingo, save the village!

wv:oweli "How do you guys manage to stay out of trouble when caught?"
"Oweli..."

Anonymous said...

okay I had to read the comments to find out what that was ... I thought a giant "did his bussiness on the beach( carry a baggy!!!!

notmicrowavesafe said...

I honestly didn't think today's were so terrible, until the last one! Blech! Why would you want to eat a slimy, poop-colored fish?

bodoba said...

Maybe the fish cake has special powers. If you can endure eating it you'll be granted the power to....the power to....sweat oil?

Costumeholic said...

Out of curiosity, what flavor of cake is "yellow"?

Anonymous said...

Hey! I'm Minnesotan and I take offense to that comment! I'm pasty year-round, not just in January! ;)

Nettie said...

Ha! sometimes the coments just make it all even funnier! I love it when decorators try to combine the concept of 2-D and 3-D in the same cake. It is fantastic! lol

Brendan said...

That mushroom thing is totally an igloo.

Anyway. That fish was so gross and realistic that I almost felt bad making fun of it, because if it were sentient it would be so utterly humiliated to be covered in oil and stuck on that pastel cake.

Yota Armai said...

Is it just my sick sense of humor or is has that flamingo been shot, hence the big red flower of blood on it's body? I have been playing GTA again, so it could be me.

But I was totally not expecting the last cake...why would you commemorate an oil spill with cake. Wait I forgot where I was, nevermind.

Da Mouse said...

That flamingo looks like a pink version of Homestar Runner's Yellow Dello...

Diana said...

This might be a little picky (but who cares?) but in the "family-friendly" cake, there actually aren't enough bumps for two cursive m's, so it says - take your pick - either sunmertime or sumnertime. Lovely!

I actually thought the blue thingie was a really awkward surfboard.

wv: spannov - I am always impressed by the spannov the wreckerators' capacity for failure.

summur braley said...

the last carp cake..............looks so so delicious!Not!

Alison said...

WOW. I am headed to the beach tomorrow, I feel inspired to get a cake while we are there.

Cassi said...

Forget about the mushroom/bucket...how bout the snow on the ground?? And the snow dusted palm tree...nothing says summer like a few inches of snow!

Savannah said...

I wasn't sick until the last one. And did you catch the sunmertime?

http://joshandsavannahadopt.blogspot.com
Help us adopt!!!

Cecily said...

Is that last *creation* supposed to be a fish? A leaking, oozing, pooh-colored fish? *shudder*

Belle Epoque said...

I'd probably faint if I saw that honkin fish on the cake in person...

Mel said...

These cakes do NOT inspire a pasty Floridian to go to the beach in July. I think I'll stay inside today.

TSFN said...

That's not a blue-lined mushroom. I think it's supposed to be Epcot.

(Someone had to say it.)

Amanda in Austin said...

The mushroom thingie is a beach bucket, and I think the round orange thing is a beach ball? I think.

cla517 said...

I had to laugh about the "Floridian in July". Too True. I'm in Ft. Lauderdale and I tell everyone that you can always tell a tourist by their tan!

terry lee said...

the blue-less sky aside, those fishies in the second cake appear to be floaters. appetizing!

and why is the umbrella stuck in poo-like gooiness?! chocolate sand?

i'm disturbed by the angle of the poor flamingo's neck, too. looks painful.

the last cake defies comment.

great post, cake wreckers!

terry lee

Anonymous said...

I wanted the blue mushroom thingy to be a cabana just so I could type cabana in the comments, but the more I look at it the more I see the bucket possibility. Nah, still looks more like a mushroom.

As someone whose job revolves around noticing little details (although the ones I see are supposed to pull it all together), I love that you saw the major wreck potential in the seemingly minor oversights and/or mistakes in the first few.
As for the fish, well, I have nothing to say there. That was major wreckage, no matter how you slice it.

Lucia said...

ahhahahahhs!!!!!
that fish is so,um, ahem.
*lucia

Bryna said...

I love the mushroom one that has Chocolate Chips in both the sand AND the sky! :)

And the fish. Just gross. I think worse than Lenin. I can eat and arm, but a slimy fish... not so much.

sambrael said...

If I squint, I can believe that the mushroom thingy is a bucket, but what's with the *crazy* tentacle tree and why is the sun just sitting there on the ground? So confusing....

mz. dee said...

Wow, wow, wow.

I really don't know what to say to the last cake... I love that the cake "artist/decorator" moved the fish around several times [as can be seen with the brown slime]... that is professionalism

iris said...

nothing else says "delicious!" like a slimy, brown fish cake! oh and the look of terror on it's face. give me another plate of that goodness!

annied said...

What IS that thing? Is that cake for the wrap party of "Deadliest Catch?"

NotAlwaysCharming said...

The fish looks like it was subjected to the Valdez oil spill! LOL

Amy said...

That fish is totally gross. Who would want to eat that?

~Amy B.

Auntie Meme said...

Still not able to process "fish." It no longer looks like a toaster (now that I see the eyes.) Instead it looks like a surprised, wet guinea pig with a mohawk. Another one of those magic eye cakes.

Michelle said...

It looks like they took a real fish, covered it in soy sauce, and threw it on top of a cake. I guess that's what you get when you cross hunter/fishers with wreckorators.

(I was just about to go eat breakfast.... ya, not so much now.)

Mikki Black said...

Well, you did it. You actually made my stomach turn. I've survived horrible baby, toddler, and adult body cakes. Disturbing color schemes. Poo frosting. You warned us, and I never had a problem.

Until today. The fish cak-- The fi--
-bleargh-cough-cough-yak!

The fish cake! -urp-

WHERE WAS THE WARNING THIS TIME?!??! I blame you for this mess. Get over here and clean it up!

Anonymous said...

fish? I mut've missed something. Thought the last one was an oil-soaked Portugese Man-of-War, yah know with the tentacles drooping down and the uneven way it sticks up, looks a lot like it. gotta go back and look for the eye ball. Lily

Anonymous said...

For the last one, the "arm" to the far right is its butt crack.

Etiquette Bitch said...

please tell me that the last CW really was something referencing the Valdez spill. Do you have the story behind it? Please share. I was agog at that one.

Flartus said...

"Gimme back that filet o'fish, gimme that fish."

Or...not.

Leave it to wreckarators to even ruin the imagery of summer. Glad they didn't try any bikinis. (Oh, but I'm sure they're out there...)

denisewalks said...

I had to put my face right up against the screen on that last one, muttering to myself "wth is that?"

Ewwwww.

rick said...

My hometown was settled by immigrants from Yorkshire, so we had an excellent and authentic "fish n' chip" shop. There was a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II on the wall and four items on the menu: fish, chips, RC cola and fish cakes.

The fish cakes were made of layers of halibut and thinly sliced potatoes, dipped in beer batter and deep fried. Sprinkled with malt vinegar and salted, they were the food of the gods.

And they weren't at all scary to look at neither.

WV: pyrebol
There isn't a pyrebol's chance in hell that I'd eat that fish cake.

BG said...

Re: the fish cake - at first I thought maybe a whole lotta condensation caused some airbrushing to run in a big, bad way, but the closer I look the more it seems the oil/slime/soy sauce was poured over it...see the dorsal fin :(

Also - I have no idea why said fish is so disgusting. Organ cakes, bodies, dead clowns and vermin didn't bother me as much!

Dea said...

LMAO @ the Valdez reference - priceless!

(Or should I be mad because that's making light of a tragic news event?) ;)

Bead Up said...

that last thing just screams CARRIE.

Anne said...

Please tell me the last cake came with a (now sadly lost) inscription that read, "So long and thanks for all the fish!"

*star.mama* said...

My two year old took one look at the last cake and said, "That's a gross bug, Mama!".

And who eats something like that?

Anonymous said...

Regarding the fish cake, I'd bet dollars-to-donuts that someone put it in the fridge, and the condensation as it came back to room temperature made the airbrushing run. This is why we cake-people often tell people NOT to put cakes in the refrigerator!

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

Flamingos are one of my favorites so I actually really loved the first cake, no matter how strange it is. The fish...eww. Its very shiny and has a big hole mouth...scary.

Anonymous said...

Lol did the same baker make the flamingo and palm tree wrecks? They both appear to be in the midst of a massive tsunami!

Aurora said...

I must be confused. Did someone actually... *order* an oil spill cake? "Hey, did you see that tanker spill? Dude, that was awesome! We gotta celebrate!"

Also - as a pasty Minnesotan who's seen a fair few - even without the oil, that fish would be a little too close to the real thing to make it appetizing as a dessert option. THE EYES, HOW THEY STARE.

And for the record, I'm pasty all twelve months of the year! ;-) Yay for gingers!

misha said...

is the fish crying? it's not a bad fish, except for the soy sauce all over it.

i happen to like the first two cakes. that flamingo was rather adorable.

Gladys said...

What the hicka-hicka-HEY?

Okay, the perspective-free flamingo on cake 1 and the hovering vertical sandals on cake 2 both make me inexplicably happy.

But that FISH. Holy mother of Pearl Buck on a flatbed truck, that thing is not merely ugly, it is FUGLY. In fact, if there were an "ugly" variant more potentially-profane than "fugly", this fish would qualify.

And that's supposed to be CAKE? It looks like a refugee from yesterday's Series of Unfortunate Buttcrack.

In an unprecedented event, I am no longer hungry.

(wv: lievi. "I can't be lievi kept my lunch down after seeing that fish."

mudslicker said...

Well, we all now know what Billy Bass has been up to since his popularity waned.

And Time has not been kind to him. Renting himself out as a painted trollop [that's 19th century jargon!] like some naked sushi tray model.

"Take me to the river..."

Eloni said...

The mushroom is a pale I think.

Mrs. Foodie said...

That last fish is so disgusting! What were they thinking?

Viktoria said...

Mmmmm... Oil spill carp. You don't need any extra fat to fry it.
-Vik

Milton said...

@Costumeholic - You've never heard of a yellow cake? They're great with chocolate frosting.

Melinda said...

That last fish is gross. I can't even imagine what it would be like to see that thing in person and know you were supposed to be impressed with that nasty looking dessert.

WV: befrual "These professional cakes inspire me to befrual and make my own."

Anonymous said...

The bird cake is the first wreck that you've shown that I would actually pay for. It may be wrecky, but it is also pretty cute.

leprintemps said...

So, what was wrong with the cookie? I mean, pre-decorator? Why must we FROST everything these days? It used to be the cookie was the perfect dessert... a go-anywhere, self contained bundle of yumminess... so, add frosting and: Voila! You have yourself diabetes on a platter! *sigh* I miss my plain old traditional cookies....

msyendor said...

Cake #2:

Parents, please enjoy the nicely done cardboard cutouts as the kindergarten class worked very hard on the stage props. We are experiencing technical difficulties at the moment but will resume projections on the white screen of tropical blue skies in a moment just as soon as we found out who thought it was funny to substitute last night's Hell's Kitchen episode.

Afterwards, we can all enjoy the chocolate syrup covered fish.

Anonymous said...

To answer the question of "what flavor of cake is "yellow"?

Why, it's fish, of course, as the last cake clearly shows!

Jessica said...

It looks like the palm tree on the 3rd one is about to get hit by a tsunami.

janet said...

Is that last one an oil-drenched sunfish?

wv: oombro

Sounds like the name of a fish in some other language.

Sharon said...

I like the beach umbrella. It could have been an nice cake if they'd taken more time with it and added...oh, I don't know...sky? A more gradual meeting of beach and sea... turned the flipflops the other way.

I originally thought the last cake was a manowar jellyfish. While I was wondering why it had so very few tentacles, I saw it had eyes and was actually a fish.

I don't think the oil spill effect was intentional.

HogwashTimes said...

Amazing timing on today's post. I live in Florida, and my pasty-white neighbor (lol) had come over and said her husband had left early this morning to go out fishing, and wanted to know if I would like to have fish for dinner when he got back.

Right about the time she asked me this, I got to the fish cake. She was so disturbed and grossed out that she called her hubby and told him not to bring any fish home, she didn't think she could eat any today after seeing that.

A. Louise said...

every once in awhile i just get sad about wrecktastic cakes. like, "aww, they tried their best".

then i feel even worse about myself for commiserating with the wreckerators.

this is one of those times. i need a vacation.

Julie said...

Is it just me or does that cake actually say sunmertime instead of summertime? There don't seem to be enough humps for it to be two m's.


WV: conasts. I conasts the Wreckorator to do it the way I want, but there's no promise she'll follow directions.

Anonymous said...

Oh man how I love this blog.

Me: *Scrolling through post. Hits last 'cake'*
Brain: Melting toaster?
Me: That doesn't make sense. *Closer inspection. Notes eyes and gaping mouth.*
Brain&Me: Ewwwwwwww! Now I can't unsee it! Cant really be cake!
*closer inspection*
Me: It really is cake...
Brain: And who thought that putting it on a pastel sheet cake was a good idea. Were they trying to soften the visual blow? I think they failed.
Me: That totally looks like lip prints on its side.
Brain&Me: EWWWWWWWWWW!

WV: yeaso
"Yeaso I went to this party and you should have seen horror that was the cake."

Stacy said...

The flamingo was cute, I though, but normally you don't find them on sandy beaches. More like marshy marshes.

Steph said...

I like the flamingo! He isn't wrecky at all, although he is lying on the ground on that cake, or something.

moonfall86 said...

Another pasty Floridian reporting in to say "I agree."

Those fish cakes look like they're commmemorating red tide. Beach full of dead fish, yummy! I'll take the broken-neck flamingo.

Megan Gery said...

the fish is going to give me nightmares, i swear.

Anonymous said...

I was like "Hey, these are pretty decent wrecks..." until I got to the last one. AUGHHHH!

Polly said...

Oh, my... I can't believe most of us missed the lip-print on the side of the nauseating fish cake.

Although, the pastel blue is supposed to be water, and there is seaweed on the sides, which looks rather nice.

Then they had to ruin it with a wrecky fish.

^-.-^

sendinthenewclowns said...

@drgns4vr:
I think the music our little flamingo is slouching along to is this:
"Miss You," by the Rolling Stones. It just HAS to be--I think it fits perfectly. What do you think?

(And it's just SO funny how "slouching along" fits! LOVE it!)
>^~~^<

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxHE876o3ME

sendinthenewclowns said...

The fish is making me so SAD!!!
I can't take it.
There he was, just trying to Carpe diem (swimming around all happy); and look at the fate that befell him...(he floundered).
((Why, why, oh, WHY?))
Someone--anyone-- please turn the fish face toward the wall--make that right EYE stop STARING at me!

Cellar Door said...

Okay, is that an actual FISH on the CAKE???!!! I'm going to cry. That is so funny. It's very realistic, if it isn't a real fish, I'll give them that!

~ L. K. said...

This doesn't have to do with this post, but a question about a post I can't find (the one with the cakes shaped like babies). Can I not find it (because I fail at using the back button or something), or did you have to delete the post? (I didn't really see much wrong with it. I can't even find the reason--news story or whatever, for why you put up a disclaimer in the first place.)

iz said...

I'll give the third one the benefit of the doubt and say that's actually meant to be a baobab.

CKS said...

Soooooo- am I the only one who noticed that the Tsunami Palm Tree fronds are, uh, "ribbed for Her pleasure"?? And in neon green ...

Ruthie said...

I dunno, the "clear blue skies" one kinda amuses me, somehow. Not only are the flip-flops hovering perpendicular to the sand, they're half as tall as the umbrella. Those must be some big feet that go in those.
And even if those fish are laying on top of the waves, at least they're in better condition than the fish in that last cake. :P

PeachButton said...

the first one looks more like a pink Bustard than a Flamingo!

Shannon said...

That last one....Ummm...I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Maybe not so little.

bunnywuffles said...

The blue mushroom one looks more like its a large shortbread / cookie than a cake. Is this another mockery of the true meaning of "a cake" like CCCs are?

eeyore19 said...

Julie said...
Is it just me or does that cake actually say sunmertime instead of summertime? There don't seem to be enough humps for it to be two m's.

That's what I noticed, too (except for me I read it as "sumnertime").

Anonymous said...

I'm so disappointed I couldn't send in a picture of a terrible cake I won in a cake walk at the local(and very very small) carnival that the town I go to school in hosts each year. It looked more like a fullview of a panda head rather than batman, were it not for the "Batman" text. If only I hadn't deleted it off my phone!

Darla said...

Oh, dear. What in the name of all that's holy happened to that fish? Dreadful.

Julie said...

That fish one at the end nearly made me throw up. GROSS!!

Miranda said...

Fish! SCREAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

I have a phobia. @_______@

Miranda said...

What flavor yellow cake is, you ask? Basically, vanilla but richer because you leave the egg yolks in, unlike with white cake where you use only the eggwhites in making it.

'course, you can always add lemon extract.

jennakat said...

In the first cake, Why is the flamingo slurping up the sea?

readsalot said...

Ha. So true about Floridians. As an extremely pasty Floridian, I only go outside to get in the car.

Oh, and that fish was TERRIFYING.

Sharon Rose said...

I submitted the blue lined mushroom thingy - it actually says 'Sumnertime fun!" :)

Shelley said...

Since when do flamingos live on the beach?

bittersweet.oasis@gmail.com said...

Personally, the second cake is reminiscent of childhood days spent at the beach in very polluted parts of Southern California. All the smog would turn the sky from blue to a gross white-yellow color. It's a little better these days, I've heard, but I've moved to the East coast and have no intention of returning.

Julian said...

The "clear blue sky" cake is clearly a beach in close proximity to Los Angeles. OM NOM NOM SMOG.

retardedhorse said...

i love it! The fish looks so retarded!

Craig said...

I thought the last one was a jellyfish complete with tentacles. Not that that would be a whole lot better...

Then I saw the eyes and the mouth -- things your standard jellyfish lacks. Why does it have eyes and a mouth? How the wreck did it get so shiny, and what is 'leaking' onto the cake proper? How accurately does this cake follow the concept? What drugs or condition led to the development of the concept?

I think wreckerators should form a band and stage an international charity concert. They could call it Diet Aid. The logo could be that last wreck.

Cupcakes Lady said...

It looks like the palm tree on the 3rd one is about to get hit by a tsunami. - So True lol ;) xx