Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Just Beachy
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
You know, like the native wildlife:
The clear blue skies,
The majestic palm trees,
The completely family-friendly blue-lined mushroom thingies,
And of course all the great sea life:
Hey Sue S., Sharon, Alyska B., Sharon R., & Anony M., you know what's pastier than a Minnesotan in January? A Floridian in July. Yep. Now shut the door and hand me my sweater; you're letting all the cold air out.
- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job
Search This Blog
Wreck the Halls
NEW! Pre-Order Today!
Amazon
|
Barnes & Noble
Borders |
IndieBound
Buy the Book
Buy the NYT Bestseller
What's a Wreck?
What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
tabs
- Fan Faves
- The Classics
The Classics
Awards
Praise for the Book
- “Will have you laughing so hard you’ll forget to eat!”— Washington Post
- “a hilarious winner” — The Oregonian
- “a fantastically gut-busting book”— NPR
- “It’s all here, each wreck a disaster of hilarity.” — BookPage.com
- “Hysterically funny!”— Epinions.com
- “laugh-out-loud funny”— The Times
- “Yates’ sharp humor makes the funny even funnier.” — The Dallas Morning News
- “an amazing laugh-out-loud book”— The Book Triblog
What the fans are saying
- "I was laughing so hard, I couldn't catch my breath."
- "As funny as the blog that started it."
- "WAY better than I expected!"
- "Cake Wreckery at its best!"
- "Wrecktastic!"
Awards
- American Mensa:Top 50 Websites of 2010
- Amazon: Top 10 gift books of 2009
- The Orlando Sentinal “Orbbies”: Winner Humor
- 2009 BlogLuxe Awards: Funniest Blog
- 2009 Bloggies: Best Writing of a Weblog, Best New Weblog, Best Food Blog
- The 2008 Weblog Awards: Best Food Blog
- Blogger's Choice 2008 Awards: Best Humor Blog
order
Where's the book?
We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.
Ordering Info
Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.
We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.
Popular This Month
Popular This Month
Archives
-
▼
2009
(419)
-
▼
July
(32)
- Come Meet Jen, Who Often Refers To Herself in the ...
- Who Cut the Cheese?
- Just Beachy
- Reality Bites
- Freud Would Be Proud
- Sunday Sweets: Threadcakes
- Weee Are The Champions...
- Good Luck!
- A Womb with a View
- This Should Even Things Out
- CW's Biggest Fans?
- I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card
- Say What?
- Sunday Sweets: More Potter!
- A Series of Unfortunate Monograms
- Basket Case
- Hello, Kitty?
- "Baby" Showers
- Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat?
- Beauty is Only Skin Deep
- Sunday Sweets: Harry Potter
- Early Detection is Key
- Love is in the Air...
- Copyright Unfringement
- Christmas in July: Going Dutch
- Who Ordered the Poo Poo Platter?
- Well, I'm Stumped
- Happy 2ndapendance Day
- ...and so fourth
- Taking Liberties
- Happy Canada Day!
- Considering the Uterus
-
▼
July
(32)
120 comments | Post a Comment
Were they commemorating the Great Mackerel Massacre with that last one?
myolderbrothers.blogspot.com
Ok...the others are tolerable but that fish...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Who would want to eat that gross poop colored fish?
The fish is just awful, how it's leaking fish slime all over the rest of the cake.
And I think that the blue lined mushroom thingy is actually supposed to be a pail. Concept =/= executed well.
Word verification: shipmun
"These were some great beach cakes, but I din't see no ship,mun."
*blink* *blink*
Sound of jaw hitting the floor.
I *so* was not expecting that last one!!!
I can't believe someone really made an oil spill cake. blech.
but on the otherhand I really don't see anything wrong with that flamingo cake - maybe I need to fine tune my wreckporter skills.
That last cake is just stomach-turning!
Darn you Jen and John, how dare you put up this posting today. Don't you know there was a tragedy just off the coast of...oh never mind!
That mushroom's a bucket! For making sandcastles...?
I have NO clue what that blue-lined mushroom thingie is supposed to be. I can see waste bin, beach umbrella, barbecue, beach chair,a poor job at a jellyfish, a solar powered lamp (yes they do exist), a basket (both for flowers and also the basketball type), an upside-down party hat and a buoy. Oh and what Jen said - the mushroom.
... lets just stick with 'thingie'. It's easier. (I'm also mildly impressed at the number of things it COULD be. That has to be a difficult skill to master for wrecky decorators.)
Took me a minute to figure out the last one. Thought it was a mutant toaster until I found the eyes.
If the mushroom's a bucket, what's the orange thing?
I have a sunburn from my summer vacation; therefore, I am offended by the depiction of happy summertime activities. Please pull this post at once.
/tongue in cheek :o)
Srsly, love the blog and love this post, but that leaky fish cake is just about to make me lose my breakfast. *Urp!*
^..^
WV: foria. A sheep relaxing on the beach with a margarita is experiencing ewe-foria.
Oh yeah, THAT's appetizing... Oily dead fish cake! Give ME a piece of THAT!!
BLECH!!!
The fish? The fish? What were they thinking? It truly is hideous. It took me a second to even figure out what it was! Is it entitled "Death After Spawning"? "Encounter With Electric Dam?" "Forgotten in Cooler"? "Yogi and Boo-Boo's Lost Lunch"?
I need more coffee.
Wow. The fish is so great. I can't believe it is made from cake!!
And everyone, I bet, I just bet, that Jen *KNEW* it was supposed to be a bucket. Imagine!! She is trying to make commentary on the wreckiness.
Why, oh why, does everyone try to correct you all the time. So maddening.......
Is the water horizontal or is the flamingo horizontal?
Did the "clear blue skies" decorator make it past first grade art? What kind of perspective did s/he use? (Did s/he use any at all?)
I must admit my favorite is the flamingo slinking across the snow on its way into the wild blue crumpled Kleenex. I wonder what music is playing as he slouches along. Is he the last of his band? Maybe it's just time to check my meds after looking at the rest of today's offerings.
WV ducti, as in "Everything is just ducti--and the flamingo looks fine, too.
Oh dear god what is that thing?
Well That ain't Fudgey the Whale!
That fish is gross.
I'm disturbed by the perspective on most of these...Why do some of them have the water at a 90 degree angle to the beach? This makes no sense!
I love how the flamingo is holding off the tsunami with its head. Brave flamingo, save the village!
wv:oweli "How do you guys manage to stay out of trouble when caught?"
"Oweli..."
okay I had to read the comments to find out what that was ... I thought a giant "did his bussiness on the beach( carry a baggy!!!!
I honestly didn't think today's were so terrible, until the last one! Blech! Why would you want to eat a slimy, poop-colored fish?
Maybe the fish cake has special powers. If you can endure eating it you'll be granted the power to....the power to....sweat oil?
Out of curiosity, what flavor of cake is "yellow"?
Hey! I'm Minnesotan and I take offense to that comment! I'm pasty year-round, not just in January! ;)
Ha! sometimes the coments just make it all even funnier! I love it when decorators try to combine the concept of 2-D and 3-D in the same cake. It is fantastic! lol
That mushroom thing is totally an igloo.
Anyway. That fish was so gross and realistic that I almost felt bad making fun of it, because if it were sentient it would be so utterly humiliated to be covered in oil and stuck on that pastel cake.
Is it just my sick sense of humor or is has that flamingo been shot, hence the big red flower of blood on it's body? I have been playing GTA again, so it could be me.
But I was totally not expecting the last cake...why would you commemorate an oil spill with cake. Wait I forgot where I was, nevermind.
That flamingo looks like a pink version of Homestar Runner's Yellow Dello...
This might be a little picky (but who cares?) but in the "family-friendly" cake, there actually aren't enough bumps for two cursive m's, so it says - take your pick - either sunmertime or sumnertime. Lovely!
I actually thought the blue thingie was a really awkward surfboard.
wv: spannov - I am always impressed by the spannov the wreckerators' capacity for failure.
the last carp cake..............looks so so delicious!Not!
WOW. I am headed to the beach tomorrow, I feel inspired to get a cake while we are there.
Forget about the mushroom/bucket...how bout the snow on the ground?? And the snow dusted palm tree...nothing says summer like a few inches of snow!
I wasn't sick until the last one. And did you catch the sunmertime?
http://joshandsavannahadopt.blogspot.com
Help us adopt!!!
Is that last *creation* supposed to be a fish? A leaking, oozing, pooh-colored fish? *shudder*
I'd probably faint if I saw that honkin fish on the cake in person...
These cakes do NOT inspire a pasty Floridian to go to the beach in July. I think I'll stay inside today.
That's not a blue-lined mushroom. I think it's supposed to be Epcot.
(Someone had to say it.)
The mushroom thingie is a beach bucket, and I think the round orange thing is a beach ball? I think.
I had to laugh about the "Floridian in July". Too True. I'm in Ft. Lauderdale and I tell everyone that you can always tell a tourist by their tan!
the blue-less sky aside, those fishies in the second cake appear to be floaters. appetizing!
and why is the umbrella stuck in poo-like gooiness?! chocolate sand?
i'm disturbed by the angle of the poor flamingo's neck, too. looks painful.
the last cake defies comment.
great post, cake wreckers!
terry lee
I wanted the blue mushroom thingy to be a cabana just so I could type cabana in the comments, but the more I look at it the more I see the bucket possibility. Nah, still looks more like a mushroom.
As someone whose job revolves around noticing little details (although the ones I see are supposed to pull it all together), I love that you saw the major wreck potential in the seemingly minor oversights and/or mistakes in the first few.
As for the fish, well, I have nothing to say there. That was major wreckage, no matter how you slice it.
ahhahahahhs!!!!!
that fish is so,um, ahem.
*lucia
I love the mushroom one that has Chocolate Chips in both the sand AND the sky! :)
And the fish. Just gross. I think worse than Lenin. I can eat and arm, but a slimy fish... not so much.
If I squint, I can believe that the mushroom thingy is a bucket, but what's with the *crazy* tentacle tree and why is the sun just sitting there on the ground? So confusing....
Wow, wow, wow.
I really don't know what to say to the last cake... I love that the cake "artist/decorator" moved the fish around several times [as can be seen with the brown slime]... that is professionalism
nothing else says "delicious!" like a slimy, brown fish cake! oh and the look of terror on it's face. give me another plate of that goodness!
What IS that thing? Is that cake for the wrap party of "Deadliest Catch?"
The fish looks like it was subjected to the Valdez oil spill! LOL
That fish is totally gross. Who would want to eat that?
~Amy B.
Still not able to process "fish." It no longer looks like a toaster (now that I see the eyes.) Instead it looks like a surprised, wet guinea pig with a mohawk. Another one of those magic eye cakes.
It looks like they took a real fish, covered it in soy sauce, and threw it on top of a cake. I guess that's what you get when you cross hunter/fishers with wreckorators.
(I was just about to go eat breakfast.... ya, not so much now.)
Well, you did it. You actually made my stomach turn. I've survived horrible baby, toddler, and adult body cakes. Disturbing color schemes. Poo frosting. You warned us, and I never had a problem.
Until today. The fish cak-- The fi--
-bleargh-cough-cough-yak!
The fish cake! -urp-
WHERE WAS THE WARNING THIS TIME?!??! I blame you for this mess. Get over here and clean it up!
fish? I mut've missed something. Thought the last one was an oil-soaked Portugese Man-of-War, yah know with the tentacles drooping down and the uneven way it sticks up, looks a lot like it. gotta go back and look for the eye ball. Lily
For the last one, the "arm" to the far right is its butt crack.
please tell me that the last CW really was something referencing the Valdez spill. Do you have the story behind it? Please share. I was agog at that one.
"Gimme back that filet o'fish, gimme that fish."
Or...not.
Leave it to wreckarators to even ruin the imagery of summer. Glad they didn't try any bikinis. (Oh, but I'm sure they're out there...)
I had to put my face right up against the screen on that last one, muttering to myself "wth is that?"
Ewwwww.
My hometown was settled by immigrants from Yorkshire, so we had an excellent and authentic "fish n' chip" shop. There was a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II on the wall and four items on the menu: fish, chips, RC cola and fish cakes.
The fish cakes were made of layers of halibut and thinly sliced potatoes, dipped in beer batter and deep fried. Sprinkled with malt vinegar and salted, they were the food of the gods.
And they weren't at all scary to look at neither.
WV: pyrebol
There isn't a pyrebol's chance in hell that I'd eat that fish cake.
Re: the fish cake - at first I thought maybe a whole lotta condensation caused some airbrushing to run in a big, bad way, but the closer I look the more it seems the oil/slime/soy sauce was poured over it...see the dorsal fin :(
Also - I have no idea why said fish is so disgusting. Organ cakes, bodies, dead clowns and vermin didn't bother me as much!
LMAO @ the Valdez reference - priceless!
(Or should I be mad because that's making light of a tragic news event?) ;)
that last thing just screams CARRIE.
Please tell me the last cake came with a (now sadly lost) inscription that read, "So long and thanks for all the fish!"
My two year old took one look at the last cake and said, "That's a gross bug, Mama!".
And who eats something like that?
Regarding the fish cake, I'd bet dollars-to-donuts that someone put it in the fridge, and the condensation as it came back to room temperature made the airbrushing run. This is why we cake-people often tell people NOT to put cakes in the refrigerator!
Flamingos are one of my favorites so I actually really loved the first cake, no matter how strange it is. The fish...eww. Its very shiny and has a big hole mouth...scary.
Lol did the same baker make the flamingo and palm tree wrecks? They both appear to be in the midst of a massive tsunami!
I must be confused. Did someone actually... *order* an oil spill cake? "Hey, did you see that tanker spill? Dude, that was awesome! We gotta celebrate!"
Also - as a pasty Minnesotan who's seen a fair few - even without the oil, that fish would be a little too close to the real thing to make it appetizing as a dessert option. THE EYES, HOW THEY STARE.
And for the record, I'm pasty all twelve months of the year! ;-) Yay for gingers!
is the fish crying? it's not a bad fish, except for the soy sauce all over it.
i happen to like the first two cakes. that flamingo was rather adorable.
What the hicka-hicka-HEY?
Okay, the perspective-free flamingo on cake 1 and the hovering vertical sandals on cake 2 both make me inexplicably happy.
But that FISH. Holy mother of Pearl Buck on a flatbed truck, that thing is not merely ugly, it is FUGLY. In fact, if there were an "ugly" variant more potentially-profane than "fugly", this fish would qualify.
And that's supposed to be CAKE? It looks like a refugee from yesterday's Series of Unfortunate Buttcrack.
In an unprecedented event, I am no longer hungry.
(wv: lievi. "I can't be lievi kept my lunch down after seeing that fish."
Well, we all now know what Billy Bass has been up to since his popularity waned.
And Time has not been kind to him. Renting himself out as a painted trollop [that's 19th century jargon!] like some naked sushi tray model.
"Take me to the river..."
The mushroom is a pale I think.
That last fish is so disgusting! What were they thinking?
Mmmmm... Oil spill carp. You don't need any extra fat to fry it.
-Vik
@Costumeholic - You've never heard of a yellow cake? They're great with chocolate frosting.
That last fish is gross. I can't even imagine what it would be like to see that thing in person and know you were supposed to be impressed with that nasty looking dessert.
WV: befrual "These professional cakes inspire me to befrual and make my own."
The bird cake is the first wreck that you've shown that I would actually pay for. It may be wrecky, but it is also pretty cute.
So, what was wrong with the cookie? I mean, pre-decorator? Why must we FROST everything these days? It used to be the cookie was the perfect dessert... a go-anywhere, self contained bundle of yumminess... so, add frosting and: Voila! You have yourself diabetes on a platter! *sigh* I miss my plain old traditional cookies....
Cake #2:
Parents, please enjoy the nicely done cardboard cutouts as the kindergarten class worked very hard on the stage props. We are experiencing technical difficulties at the moment but will resume projections on the white screen of tropical blue skies in a moment just as soon as we found out who thought it was funny to substitute last night's Hell's Kitchen episode.
Afterwards, we can all enjoy the chocolate syrup covered fish.
To answer the question of "what flavor of cake is "yellow"?
Why, it's fish, of course, as the last cake clearly shows!
It looks like the palm tree on the 3rd one is about to get hit by a tsunami.
Is that last one an oil-drenched sunfish?
wv: oombro
Sounds like the name of a fish in some other language.
I like the beach umbrella. It could have been an nice cake if they'd taken more time with it and added...oh, I don't know...sky? A more gradual meeting of beach and sea... turned the flipflops the other way.
I originally thought the last cake was a manowar jellyfish. While I was wondering why it had so very few tentacles, I saw it had eyes and was actually a fish.
I don't think the oil spill effect was intentional.
Amazing timing on today's post. I live in Florida, and my pasty-white neighbor (lol) had come over and said her husband had left early this morning to go out fishing, and wanted to know if I would like to have fish for dinner when he got back.
Right about the time she asked me this, I got to the fish cake. She was so disturbed and grossed out that she called her hubby and told him not to bring any fish home, she didn't think she could eat any today after seeing that.
every once in awhile i just get sad about wrecktastic cakes. like, "aww, they tried their best".
then i feel even worse about myself for commiserating with the wreckerators.
this is one of those times. i need a vacation.
Is it just me or does that cake actually say sunmertime instead of summertime? There don't seem to be enough humps for it to be two m's.
WV: conasts. I conasts the Wreckorator to do it the way I want, but there's no promise she'll follow directions.
Oh man how I love this blog.
Me: *Scrolling through post. Hits last 'cake'*
Brain: Melting toaster?
Me: That doesn't make sense. *Closer inspection. Notes eyes and gaping mouth.*
Brain&Me: Ewwwwwwww! Now I can't unsee it! Cant really be cake!
*closer inspection*
Me: It really is cake...
Brain: And who thought that putting it on a pastel sheet cake was a good idea. Were they trying to soften the visual blow? I think they failed.
Me: That totally looks like lip prints on its side.
Brain&Me: EWWWWWWWWWW!
WV: yeaso
"Yeaso I went to this party and you should have seen horror that was the cake."
The flamingo was cute, I though, but normally you don't find them on sandy beaches. More like marshy marshes.
I like the flamingo! He isn't wrecky at all, although he is lying on the ground on that cake, or something.
Another pasty Floridian reporting in to say "I agree."
Those fish cakes look like they're commmemorating red tide. Beach full of dead fish, yummy! I'll take the broken-neck flamingo.
the fish is going to give me nightmares, i swear.
I was like "Hey, these are pretty decent wrecks..." until I got to the last one. AUGHHHH!
Oh, my... I can't believe most of us missed the lip-print on the side of the nauseating fish cake.
Although, the pastel blue is supposed to be water, and there is seaweed on the sides, which looks rather nice.
Then they had to ruin it with a wrecky fish.
^-.-^
@drgns4vr:
I think the music our little flamingo is slouching along to is this:
"Miss You," by the Rolling Stones. It just HAS to be--I think it fits perfectly. What do you think?
(And it's just SO funny how "slouching along" fits! LOVE it!)
>^~~^<
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxHE876o3ME
The fish is making me so SAD!!!
I can't take it.
There he was, just trying to Carpe diem (swimming around all happy); and look at the fate that befell him...(he floundered).
((Why, why, oh, WHY?))
Someone--anyone-- please turn the fish face toward the wall--make that right EYE stop STARING at me!
Okay, is that an actual FISH on the CAKE???!!! I'm going to cry. That is so funny. It's very realistic, if it isn't a real fish, I'll give them that!
This doesn't have to do with this post, but a question about a post I can't find (the one with the cakes shaped like babies). Can I not find it (because I fail at using the back button or something), or did you have to delete the post? (I didn't really see much wrong with it. I can't even find the reason--news story or whatever, for why you put up a disclaimer in the first place.)
I'll give the third one the benefit of the doubt and say that's actually meant to be a baobab.
Soooooo- am I the only one who noticed that the Tsunami Palm Tree fronds are, uh, "ribbed for Her pleasure"?? And in neon green ...
I dunno, the "clear blue skies" one kinda amuses me, somehow. Not only are the flip-flops hovering perpendicular to the sand, they're half as tall as the umbrella. Those must be some big feet that go in those.
And even if those fish are laying on top of the waves, at least they're in better condition than the fish in that last cake. :P
the first one looks more like a pink Bustard than a Flamingo!
That last one....Ummm...I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Maybe not so little.
The blue mushroom one looks more like its a large shortbread / cookie than a cake. Is this another mockery of the true meaning of "a cake" like CCCs are?
Julie said...
Is it just me or does that cake actually say sunmertime instead of summertime? There don't seem to be enough humps for it to be two m's.
That's what I noticed, too (except for me I read it as "sumnertime").
I'm so disappointed I couldn't send in a picture of a terrible cake I won in a cake walk at the local(and very very small) carnival that the town I go to school in hosts each year. It looked more like a fullview of a panda head rather than batman, were it not for the "Batman" text. If only I hadn't deleted it off my phone!
Oh, dear. What in the name of all that's holy happened to that fish? Dreadful.
That fish one at the end nearly made me throw up. GROSS!!
Fish! SCREAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
I have a phobia. @_______@
What flavor yellow cake is, you ask? Basically, vanilla but richer because you leave the egg yolks in, unlike with white cake where you use only the eggwhites in making it.
'course, you can always add lemon extract.
In the first cake, Why is the flamingo slurping up the sea?
Ha. So true about Floridians. As an extremely pasty Floridian, I only go outside to get in the car.
Oh, and that fish was TERRIFYING.
I submitted the blue lined mushroom thingy - it actually says 'Sumnertime fun!" :)
Since when do flamingos live on the beach?
Personally, the second cake is reminiscent of childhood days spent at the beach in very polluted parts of Southern California. All the smog would turn the sky from blue to a gross white-yellow color. It's a little better these days, I've heard, but I've moved to the East coast and have no intention of returning.
The "clear blue sky" cake is clearly a beach in close proximity to Los Angeles. OM NOM NOM SMOG.
i love it! The fish looks so retarded!
I thought the last one was a jellyfish complete with tentacles. Not that that would be a whole lot better...
Then I saw the eyes and the mouth -- things your standard jellyfish lacks. Why does it have eyes and a mouth? How the wreck did it get so shiny, and what is 'leaking' onto the cake proper? How accurately does this cake follow the concept? What drugs or condition led to the development of the concept?
I think wreckerators should form a band and stage an international charity concert. They could call it Diet Aid. The logo could be that last wreck.
It looks like the palm tree on the 3rd one is about to get hit by a tsunami. - So True lol ;) xx