Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Considering the Uterus

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Warning: Impending TMI of a medical nature. (In case the title didn't already clue you in.)

Tomorrow I will have the dubious pleasure of having the insides of my uterus cauterized. In honor of the occasion, we could take a look at the uterus in all its glory and learn from the wonders of the human body.

OR...

We could take a look at what other women order when they get their lady-bits worked on. After all, I could use a little inspiration.


(Yeah, I like option "B" better, too.)



This woman nicknamed her baby bag "Tilly", and then ordered it a farewell cake, like so:


Hm. Not a bad idea, really. Of course, coming up with just the right nickname for your internal organs can be a mixed bag - er, no pun intended. Plus, I'd have to give mine a guy's name, since I refuse to believe any female would inflict such horrors on another. So...The McCramper? Sweeney Todd? Sir-Clumps-A-Lot? I'm open to suggestions, obviously.

Elizabeth made this nifty Operation cake for her mom, who was feeling kinda down about an impending hysterectomy:

Elizabeth writes, "My friends said I should have made a driver's license with her picture and changed the F to an M, but since I didn't want her to kill herself, I just made this."

Good call, Elizabeth. Having the cake recipient collapse in a sobbing heap can be such a killjoy. Far better to take the more chipper, Pollyanna-ish route:

Although there is the possibility that wishing someone a "happy" hysterectomy could lead to a different kind of meltdown: Anyone remember Wendi Aaron's famous "Happy Period" rant at Always maxi pads? If not, and you don't mind a little language, you should check it out.

Here's my favorite line:

"...there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and KahlĂșa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory."

Ah, which of us hasn't been there, eh, ladies? Or are there right now? ("Husband!! Bring me more Kahlua!!")


Some women obviously have a better relationship with their bits than I do, though:

Friends? Friends?!?
("Husband!! I mean it!!")



Now granted, I'm not having Sir-Clumps-A-Lot removed tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I'm any less apprehensive about the anesthesia and the whole, you know, cauterizing thing. So if any of you have some spare well wishes to send my way, the doctor's way, the Almighty's way, etc., I'd sure appreciate it.


Oh, and for the most realistic-looking (ie shiiiny) uterus cake yet, check out Debbie's here.


Thanks to Wreckporter Hall-of-Famer Monique R. for finding the last three.


UPDATE:
For all of you asking if vasectomy cakes will be next: Been there, done that. :D

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 272   Newer›   Newest»
Fluffy Cow said...

Hate to say it, but the first one is a pretty nice representation. Although... some things just should not be on a cake. Hope all goes well tomorrow and that you have enough Kahlua.

Chris said...

Good luck tomorrow! I had a partial hysterectomy (fibroids) a year and a half ago. Best. Thing. Ever.

n810smom said...

the cakes...just weird.no other word for that :)

praying for you

Wild Cakes said...

Oh Jen... you haven't seen uterus cake until you Debbie Goard's uterus cake!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiedoescakesnet/3669155037/

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

No WOMB FOR RENT here. Had it out when I was in my late 20's. Haven't missed it once since.

Why would I? Had already had my kiddos and wasn't particularly enjoying having a "monthly visitor" that stayed all month!

It's been almost 12 years and I couldn't be happier.

No period for the last 12 years. Nor period ever again!!

CAN YOU SEE ME DANCING????

Hallie

Cheryl said...

Good luck!

Jenniffer said...

Jen, I hope everything goes well with your procedure - I'll say a little prayer for you!

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

irritablevowel said...

This may be the funniest entry yet. For real. Hilarious stuff! Good luck with your surgery. I have yet to speak to a woman who wasn't thrilled afterwords!

Sandy said...

For all the laughs you bring us everyday, I am sure all of your fans will be sending good wishes your way. Good luck and remember to take it easy after the procedure, lay on the sofa and watch movies. Sending positive vibes...Sandy

Laura said...

best of luck tomorrow and thanks as always for a hilarious post. i am thinking kahlua should come out with a motrin-infused option (and a firearm warning).

Anonymous said...

aw. Have a happy hysterectomy! Good luck!

James ~n~ Amber said...

If you look up "debbie does cakes" on Flickr, she just did a very fancy uterus cake this week. If a uterus cake can be considered fancy !!!

Dorci said...

Holy cow that was hilarious. I had a hysterectomy years ago, so I can relate!

I had the cauterizing thing done just before that, though. No biggie, Jen. You'll be back up and making more body-part jokes before you know it.

Anonymous said...

Jen, good luck tomorrow. Just remember, insist that they send you home with good drugs. If they tell you that you won't need them, offer to insert a hot curling iron in a sensitive orifice without the benefit of painkillers. That should change the doctor's mind (because, obviously, there is something wrong with the one he/she has). You probably won't need them, but it's always better to have and not need than need and not have. MaryC.

Lapis Kelinia said...

So, WHY are you getting it cauterized? I'm asking because my doc mentioned the same thing.

Nellie said...

good luck, hope everything goes well and husband waits on you hand and foot at least til Tuesday.

Skye said...

Love the operation cake!! Not so sure how I would feel about eating some of the others... *shudder* The female reproductive system has always kind of freaked me out (and I am female...).

Wishing you the best for your procedure! I hope U-TERUSt your doctor! heh heh (that was my horrible pun for today)

No...NoMore said...

I had an endometrial ablation 8 months ago - so fantastic. highly recommend! you will do great!

elizabeth said...

wow. just wow. I'm not sure I'll ever look at cake the same way again.

Good luck tomorrow.

Sue said...

I had a partial 10 years ago. And I echo Chris-BEST THING EVER!!

Amanda said...

Good luck tomorrow, I had the same thing a year ago - no worries, no problems.

But back to the really important things in life: cake. The Operation one is awesome. The others are a little too, ah, descriptive for my tastes. (snicker). And to think the only thing I got after my surgery was the Supernatural DVD sets. Then again, Sam & Dean.....drool.

GinnyP said...

Good Luck tomorrow! Not that you're going to need it.....the procedure is a piece of cake!!!! (LOL) I had it done in January amd it was the Best. Decision. Ever! now I am normal, relatively, all the time!!!! Don't have to worry about spur of the moment Walgreen's trips.

ROYALTY said...

seriously disturbing yet absolutely hysterical!!

meow!
Misha @ http://www.kitty-cakes.blogspot.com

Amanda from Michigan said...

Hope it goes well!

Melissa said...

I hope everything goes well tomorrow and no matter what, no matter what things look like, your doctor was not smoking a cigar during the procedure!

Belle Epoque said...

Goodbye Uterus Cake???? Now I've seen it all...

Julie H said...

If cauterization is the same as an endometrial ablasion, it's a snap. However, the uterus cakes are seriously... deranged...

Pam said...

Best wishes Jen! May your operation go smoothly and your recovery be swift.

Sending love.

ComedyShel said...

Are you having an ablation? If that's what you are talking about, trust me...you will be VERY happy with the results. I had one over a year ago and haven't had to deal with Aunt Flo ever since..not once..not a drop. BEST thing I EVER did. Wishing you well!

vivaELvino said...

The Operation Cake was pretty cool. The rest left me feeling queazy. I'll pass on a uterus cake.

Best wishes that your proceedure will go smoothly.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you might be having laproscopic surgery for endometriosis. I've had the same surgery done twice, once at 21 and once last year at 25. I'm sure you're apprehensive and nervous, but just remember life will be SO much more enjoyable without the pain. Remember to take it easy for the next week and let your loved ones pamper you.

"Sweeney Todd" LOL!

Good luck and feel better!

Julie said...

I'm surprised no one has tried to make a CCC representation of the female reproductive system--I think that has real potential!

Good luck with your procedure tomorrow.

Carrie said...

I'm currently dealing with a prolapsed uterus that is majorly pissing me off, so thanks for this post... it at least temporarily made me laugh at the uterus instead of curse it.

Em said...

Jen:

May tomorrow go smoothly and easily and well and good wishes to you, the doc, the nurses and any other random but necessary personnel who have anything to do with any of it!

*~*Lis*~* said...

Wow - talk about irony. My Aunt is having a hysterectomy today, I didn't know I was supposed to get her a cake!

MetalNoir said...

Here's a suggestion for an affectionate name for lady-parts. My very good friend refers to them as her "Puddy" as in Tweety-Bird calling Sylvester a "puddy-tat". I always liked that one; and, since Sylvester is a male cat, you'd be giving it a "male" name, of sorts.

Chey said...

Best of luck, Jen! I'm sure you'll come through fine, but let us know how it goes - I know there will be lots of people waiting to know how you're doing. ^^ I'm considering a hysterectomy someday myself.

I wonder if it's possible to make a uterus cake that ISN'T a wreck. In general, I think uteri (uteruses?) just don't belong on cakes, no matter how well made. xD

Me and My Boys said...

Good luck to you tomorrow. I'm sure it will all go well and you just KNOW someone's got a great cake lined up for you after its over. Keep focused on that!

Anonymous said...

Ablation I had done 5 years ago was *great*. Highly recommended. Especially if you're going to be knocked out and given good drugs after. Of course, I'm now contemplating getting a re-do, since my lining is apparently super-regenerative or something, but it was great while it lasted. Good luck!

Katie said...

Good luck, Jen!!

Leslie said...

Best of luck Jen. I've had two 'scopes for endometriosis, a DNC, and several biopsies (and a few rounds of Lupron shots). My doc's basically trying to leave the lady bits in till I hit 30 because she says she'll feel better about taking it all out then.
Don't worry about going under...it happens so fast you won't know what hit you. Only sucky part is the sore throat from being tubed...just have the hubby feed you ice chips when you come to.
You'll be fine! We're all pulling for you!

BeeOhVee said...

Best of luck tomorrow. I'll be saying prayers for you.

Heimedall said...

I give mine just as much abuse as it gives me... which is how I've managed to be pregnant and give birth 5 times... and am currently pregnant again :)

Its a give and take relationship with my boy, it gives me lovely babies to care for, I give it hell! That's not to say it doesn't fight back in between.

Temperance said...

who knew that searching for hysterectomy cakes would turn out so well.

Robin said...

Haha.
Just hilarious.
I was quite literally laughing out loud.

Good luck with your surgery.

Robin
http://threadbearthoughts.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Happy Canada Day / Bonne FĂȘte du Canada to all the Canadian readers!

█♥█

Laurie said...

What! I missed an occasion for a cake when I had "George" (my name for my horrible uterus) removed last year? So not fair. I will have to order up a 1 yr hysterectomy anniversary cake.

Best website ever for hysterectomy patients: www.hystersisters.com - definitely a sanity saver for me.

Good Luck tomorrow!! Enjoy the pain drugs they give you!!

Trevor said...

I find that I really can't read the comments this time around due to being a little squeemish about women's parts. Ah well.

I hope your procedure goes well and that we have new Wrecks in no time.

But, just for my 2c, this is one of those things that be a cake design. Like feet and shoes. I'm totally turned off by the cover of this month's ACD.

Middle Aged Crazy said...

Good luck tomorrow - I had the same procedure last year, and it's the best thing I've ever done. No more 45 day long periods! As a matter of fact, no more periods...er...period.

Anonymous said...

I had the HEAVIEST periods ever, then had that procedure done years ago, changed my life. I can now leave my house any day of the month and not have to worry about "spotting". (I'm being gentle here... I once had a "dam break" while I was at work, had to run home and change every piece of clothing from the waist down, even my shoes.) The results of the procedure were ALL GOOD. You won't believe the change!

Pickyknitter said...

Wishing you a safe procedure and quick recovery!

...and filled with sadness for the massive amount of 'I hate my body' comments in the post and in the comeents. Men don't sit around complaining about their oozy bit :( Why do we?

Anonymous said...

God bless you, Jen. I hope the procedure goes well and that there are no complications. Sorry to hear you've had such a hard time with Aunt Flo!

-Julie

Raven said...

This is the first time I've commented just to reassure you about the abellation. I had it done about 6 years ago and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. It doesn't really hurt, just a some cramping (and we are used to that).
So don't worry it really is a breeze.

Marcy said...

Psst. I'm an OR nurse. As long as there is no family history of people having severe (not just nausea) reactions to anesthesia, you should be fine. The procedure is brief. Statistically speaking, the most dangerous thing that will happen to you tomorrow is riding in the car to and from the facility.

Of course, none of this makes you feel any better, I realize. So, I suggest cake.

Oh, and I won't be at all surprised if you wake up mumbling something about Epcot and Spaceship Earth.

Be well!

Anonymous said...

So are you getting a flaming uterus CCC for the occasion?

et

Stacie said...

Good luck tomorrow. I hope you have a speedy recovery!

Now let's focus on LASIK cakes for my future (fingers crossed) eye procedure.

Sharon said...

Hope all goes well tomorrow- it really should be fine- I had something similar years ago and the apprehension was 100 times worse than the actual experience! I was glad I had it done and I suspect you will too!

Anonymous said...

All the times we've posted about bad punctuation, I'm surprised to see no puns on the word "period".

Perhaps a cake showing cauterization should be "flambe"!

beckiwithani said...

You will be fine! Isn't it amazing to know that hundreds - probably thousands - of people will be thinking of you? And many of us have been there on the table before. I've never had my endometrium cauterized, but have had surgery (with cauterization) on my cervix. Not what I'd call fun (duh), but also not nearly as bad as I'd worried (read: obsessed) it would be.

D said...

Best of luck with your procedure - it sounds like it will be a godsend for you.

Has anyone else noticed that all of the uteri (uteruses doesn't look right, though neither does uteri) look like the University of Texas logo? The 3-d one reminds me of a bike seat with ear buds. Just sayin.

Mrs. Who said...

I had an ablation (which it sounds like you're having) about 2 1/2 weeks ago. Nothing to the recovery. Only took one pain pill at home in the evening for mild cramps. The next day was fine. Tired, but no pain or anything like that. Good luck!

Kat at Muddy's Bake Shop said...

Excellent timing. Just last evening we at the bakery received a request to ask if we make shaped cakes... because they wanted a "vasectomy-themed" cake.
I have some ideas for how you'd make a cake with a vasectomy theme but not any that I'm interested in making for sale... :)

Heidi said...

Hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow Jen! Hilarious post.

And who wouldn't love today's word verification : prepp

LOL so I forgot to actually enter the WV and got a warnign with a new WV and this one is, I kid you not: skingede

TAF said...

Jen, good luck tomorrow! This was one of the funniest columns to date :-)

Michelle said...

Who doesn't want to eat their own uterus cake cannibal style before having a major surgery? Good times!

Kate said...

Considering what day it is today... I wish one of those was for me.

Good luck!!

-Kate

Lahni said...

Good Luck!
I know you're not Canadian, but I'm sure a lot of your readers are. Don't you have any Canadian wrecks in honour of Canada Day?!

teri said...

good luck tomorrow, i hope it's successful! i had mine removed two years ago - i had endometriosis so bad i wanted to die. i'm not kidding either - i was actually in such pain that i became suicidal. removing it was the best thing i ever did, i've been pain free (and MUCH happier) ever since then. it was my independence day. thankfully though, no one gave me a uterus cake to commemorate the occasion.

Rusty and Bandit said...

Euwww. That's disturbing on a number of levels. A very LARGE number...

Christina M. said...

The lack of men commenting today is funny. ;-)

I've lived with endometriosis for years, but I'm not much looking forward to the day I will have ablation. Surgery makes me shudder. Kinda like eating cake shapes like internal organs. *shudder*

Good luck tomorrow!

unfortunatehotels said...

The first one looks like a steak, the bright red one looks like a high-end vacuum cleaner, and the last one looks like Texas A&M horns. The Operation Game one is awesome, though.

Becky said...

Ummmmm, who would actually eat that? And that last one looks like it's waving to me...creepy.

Good luck tomorrow!!

Becky

Kelly said...

I'll be praying for you. It's good to see your spirits are high. Just stay in good humor and think of all the delicious cake you can eat later....with the Kahlua. :)

God Bless!

Muum said...

hope things go well for you, I had something similar done before ,,,can't believe people would make cakes to mark these occassions (I usu just throw up , re the anesthesia)

Lybertygirl said...

Oh Honey, I have been there! this procedure is a piece of cake and you will be up and around in no time. I had it done and ended up with a total hysterectomy the next year. Greatest thing ever! I felt better the day after surgery than I had in years (with staples in my stomach)! The best thing - NO periods since 1994!!!!!
I Love you blog - always makes me laugh outloud!

leannwoo said...

Good luck tomorrow! I will keep you in my thoughts for a speedy recovery and no more monthly visitor!

Anonymous said...

Dustin' N Cleanin', darlin', it just needs a Dustin' N Cleanin'. :-) Since you have made me smile every morning for more than a year, I will absolutely send up some thoughts to the big guy for ya tomorrow morning.

deckardcanine said...

Debbie's cake looks like a cross between General Grievous and a Gungan.

Deborah said...

I had a thermal ablation 2 or 3 years ago. Love it. Easy procedure. Normal life.

martinstone said...

I'd hate to see the postate exam cake......

good luck! enjoy the drugs!

LeAnn Silvertooth said...

Hey Jen - love your site! Just so you know, twice I had LIVE human beings removed from my lady-guts. Also, I survived it! Now they are 4 and 2 (not my lady-guts, the human beings), kinda wishing I had had my junk burned after #2. Anyways, TAKE the pain meds and all will be well. Dang I used a lot of commas. Maybe I should decorate cakes for a living?!

velvetpage said...

When I had my hysterectomy (which followed the cauterization by eight months, and actually, like, solved the problem) my friend crocheted me a tiny uterus and embroidered a very angry face on it. I spread it around on several livejournal communities with the caption: "Im in ur uterus, stealin ur irons."

Every doctor and nurse in the recovery ward came in to tell me how fabulous it was. And I'm no longer cycling through four levels of anemia every few months! Hooray!

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Can we get some vasectomy cakes tomorrow? Ha!

Also, Good luck! Wishing you well!

Melinda said...

Good luck with the procedure, Jen!

That Opperation cake? Awesome.

Josie said...

I want to thank you for the laughs! And to offer encouragement for tomorrow. I had the procedure done in my doctor's office last october while awake. Granted I had some nice loopy drugs, it is uncomfortable afterwards, but not bad. Especially if you are used to bad cramps. They will send you home with either tylenol w. codeine (spelling?) or oxycodone, and should send an antibiotic. My mom had hers done 2 weeks ago. Just take it easy and you will do great. Honestly, ever since the heaviest I have had was taken care of with a panty liner. Wonderful!!! Anyways, best of luck!!!

josie

Cranky Amy said...

Oh! Hey!! I had my uterus nuked (cautorized) almost 2 years ago. Best freaking thing I think I have EVER DONE!! Almost no period at ALL and almost no PMS, too! Hot Damn! Good luck and I hope your doc does as good as mine!

Christa said...

ok so I'm pregnant...and now I'm distgusted.

Anonymous said...

Good luck! My thoughts are with you.

Teresa said...

Hey, had it done and it was seriously no big deal. Floated away on drugs, woke up and walked to the car to be driven home (I'm told) but have no memory until lying in bed hours later with husband bringing in pain meds as prescribed. More floating.

Some lingering feeling of having charred insides a few days later but zero "pain".

Cramps now manageable. Life worth living.

Best of luck and enjoy the floating.

ramhist said...

Long-time lurker, first-time commenter --

Good luck, and I hope they give you good meds!

Kaethe said...

Fingers crossed for all of the above.

Ashley said...

Because my internal reproductive organs give me so much trouble, I named them.

Uma is the utermarus
Oscar is my left ovary
Olivia is my right.

This allows me to curse them by name.

Good luck tomorrow!

justmeandthevoices said...

"Sweeney Todd" and "Sir-Clumps-a Lot" made me snort. But you should say "McCrampy" instead of "McCramper", you know like McDreamy and McSteamy on Grey's Anatomy.

Good luck tomorrow!!!

Miranda said...

Yeah the depictions, I would not want on my own cake, but I would have LOVED a Happy Hysterectomy cake! I have never been so glad to wave goodbye to an ex-body part in all my life! I celebrate my hysterversary every year. But if I do a cake it usually has a rather generic inscription like "party hearty" on it. lol

Oh, that reminds me, my hysterversary is soon! It's on July 14! H00t H00t!

Anonymous said...

Anyone who doesn't think a hysterectomy is the happiest time of their life hasn't had one. I agree with Chris--Best. Thing. Ever.

MoxieOh said...

Oh Jen-

I'm so sorry to read your having to go through such a nerve-wrecking procedure. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and the doctor. At the very least, we need you in tip top shape to keep serving up more cake wrecks.

Moxie

cokewithdrawl said...

My mom had the procedure done a few years ago, and has absolutely no complaints. If I weren't on the pill and wanting kids, I'd consider it because mine must be Sir-Clumps-a-Lot's brother.

The red and black cake looks to be the best representation because it looks ANGRY!

Hyena Overlord said...

Good luck tomorrow.

I agree with Chris..

I had a partial. Best Christmas present ever. Thank you Dr. Ralph Loebenburg.

wv: twerpoin...hopefully the ringing joyful sound my uterus made as it hit the bottom of the garbage can.

Marie said...

good luck tomorrow!

Mari said...

Everything will be fine tomorrow, wishing you a speedy recovery!

Pattie S Christensen said...

I had a uterine ablasion a number of years ago. Best decision ever. You will love it! Freedom from the crimson wave!

Str4yk1tt3n said...

Good luck! I hope all goes well and smoothly and that they give you a boat load of prescription-strength painkillers.
Love your site -- thank you for entertaining me daily.

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

Aw...no Canada Day love?

Good luck tomorrow!

Joan said...

Best of luck, Jen. I'm still giggling over "Sir Clumps-a-Lot!" My uterine knight was removed after 18 month of constant bloodshed. Ik. (Fibroids. I hates them.) Just remember: the morphine pump is your Best Friend. Better than Kahlua, even.

bem said...

I've had this procedure done twice and even though it's a little scary or nervewraking at first you'll be fine! Hope you are up and about soon!!

Anonymous said...

I'm partial to the pink roses "Happy Hysterectomy" one because that's how I felt. Your symptoms plus massive hormonal imbalance. DH was pretty happy with the results too. Hope your procedure goes well.

Winona said...

Well... have, um, fun? And I'm wondering if anyone will come up with an appropriate cake for my October combo c-section/tube-tying ceremony, lol!

Pam said...

We'll all be thinking of you tomorrow! Get yourself (better yet, let the hubs get you...) your kahlua, and take it easy.

Jen said...

You guys are awesome.

Today's one of those days when I'm going to be reading comments every few hours - I need and very much appreciate the encouragement. So thanks, so much.

sunlizzard said...

Lifting you in prayer, Jen. May your recovery be both quick and easy... and if not, may the drugs be good! :)

Seriously: {{{hugs}}}

Caitlin said...

Here's hoping everything goes well. My ladius is still in it's normal position and will be staying that way for a while, at least. *sends good vibes from FL*

denise said...

Good Luck tomorrow, you're in my prayers :-) I went through menopause already, but I DO remember it was never much fun...
Keep up the Great work, I read you daily - you provide me with laughter which I sorely need at this point!!
denise
Surviving Breast Cancer without health insurance
http://TeamDenise.org

Passion Fruit said...

I actually really like these...:]

And all the very best tomorrow. Hope all goes well

kd said...

Is your procedure to render your baby-maker obsolete, or is it medically necessary? Of course, it's not really any of my business, but I just thought I would ask. Either way, best of luck! I'm sure you'll be back to yourself in no time.

While I appreciate the thought in these cakes.... I'm not sure I could ever eat a uterus.

transyamber said...

Good Luck tomorrow! Hope you're up and about soon.

Michelle said...

Good luck with your procedure Jen!

Abby Normal said...

Please tell me none of these are filled with raspberry jelly like that heart cake a couple weeks ago.

kari said...

how ironic - i too am going in tomorrow for this! i'm getting Essure and never thought of getting a cake made in "it's" honor ;-)

--Kari, Milwaukee

C. Beth said...

I'm sending prayers your way! When my husband had surgery what struck me was that, while it was scary for us (it was brain surgery!) it was just all in a day's work for the surgeon. Here's hoping it'll be totally routine for the doctor even though it's anything but routine for you!

FelixAndAva said...

Hey, at least the "happy hysterectomy" cake is spelled correctly. :)

I'll put in some prayer that things go well for you tomorrow, Jen.

Glory von Hathor said...

Best of luck with the procedure Jen.

If you scroll down, there's an accidental uterus kahlua cake that would be just perfect for this special occasion.

http://www.stellarcakeco.com/gallery.html

Wendi said...

Hey, Jen! Thanks for the mention. And good luck with your procedure.

Best,

Wendi Aarons

iris said...

when i saw the last cake and read the "bye bye", the n'sync some popped in my head. make it stop!! anyway, good luck tomorrow *thumbs up*!

jen bryner said...

GOOD LUCK! thanks for laugh today, too:) way to think of others first, like always! you'll be just fine. be sure to update us on your condition/feeling after so we know you're ok!! (((hugs!!)))

Anonymous said...

Count me in for the "Happy to be Uterus Free!!" club. Like many others have shared, no periods, no cramps, no Sybil-like moods, no money wasted in the feminine hygiene aisle...and ALL of your undies can be your "good underwear".

Just wish I'd had a yummy good-bye girl parts cake....

Pattie, RN

Anonymous said...

Had same procedure done as your having done a month ago -- It's wasn't near as bad as my brain was making me think -- Prayers for you and *Remeber -- Play up the pain for a few extra days off : ) The hubby can handle it! I'm a little miffed now I didn't get a cake though --Who knew they were available ?!?

Amy said...

Good luck tomorrow!
I've had a hysterectomy, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
A uterus was most definitely not my friend!

Amy B.

wv: speni: Isn't the "s" on the wrong end?? LOL
Truly, that was the WV!!

Samovar said...

Just do not stay too much time in recover, please. I'd hate to miss your posts for too long ;)

Maggie Dragonmoon said...

Good luck with the procedure, Jen!

I just don't think I could eat cake with a uterus on it!

denisewalks said...

The second one is cute. The others are just....well.....um. Let's just leave it at that.

Good luck tomorrow.

Anne Arquis said...

Jen, I had the "scorched earth" treatment two years ago, and it was one of the best things to happen to me. No more blindingly painful cramps or excessive cycles! And recovery was a breeze. Life is so much better. :) You'll be in my thoughts, funny lady.

Brooke said...

Good luck Jen! Maybe the doctor would consent to a few choruses of "To Sir, With Love" during the procedure?

IGiveUp said...

I've had two friends have the procedure you are having and both said it was a breeze. You may have a few cramps afterwards, and if they offer you pain meds, take them. Not that you'll need them, though. It just gives you an excuse to lay around for the rest of the day and have someone else do all the work. ;-)

I'll be pulling for you.

Tim said...

Eegh...may not have been the wreckerator's or wreck orderer's intent, but I think of abortion when I think of "Tilly." Tilly is the title of a fundamentalist Christian novella by Frank Peretti about a woman going through all kinds of guilt because of an abortion in her past (of a fetus she decided to name Tilly for some reason).

Makes that first cake all kinds of squicky for me!

Lynn said...

Jen,
I'll be praying everything goes well for your procedure LOL

In the past, I thought these cakes were a very bizzare idea. I think now that if I had to say goodbye, I would celebrate with a cake...after all, mine served me well (5 kids who went on to having 7 grandkids and counting)AND if I went to one of my local stores that has a bakery, that would probably produce a real Cake Wreck and maybe some bad spelling etc. too!

Vanilla said...

Someone should get YOU a cake. You deserve it.

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, I had this same surgery done 7 years ago. I feel so much better and I'm sure you will too!

Anna C. Morrison said...

I read your blog every day, and look forward to the smiles you provide during my own recovery from surgery, so here's to the best for recovery from your medical procedure. May you continue to display wrecks for us lurkers indefinitely, and have an endless supply of Kahlua.

Anonymous said...

I went the ablation route a year ago and the beauty of not getting a period (among many) is that you never know where you are in your cycle so many more opportunities to say, it's hormones. Like Rosanne said, PMS lets me be myself.

Lynn said...

Oh, Jen,
Please NO vasectomy cakes as suggested by Horrible License Plates...the line must be drawn somewhere !

Anonymous said...

I also had something similar done some years ago - easy peasy. Just some cramps. Best of luck.

I do have to say this is the most educational blog I read - I truly had no idea of the number of cake worthy celebrations I have been forgoing all these years. Thank you - your site truly provides a vital public service.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes with your surgery tomorrow: fast pain free recovery, etc...

Karen said...

I had that procedure done in March '06. He also "cauterized the hell" out of my tubes at the same time. His words not mine. I had to have my tubes tied at the same time. Hope it goes well for you!

I won't tell you how my symptoms are all back...

Karen said...

Had something similar done for the period that wouldn't stop. Not too much pain if you take the drugs and not do it in the middle of moving. Do not try to lift heavy objects. I went with full anathesia, no choice the doctor freaked at my anti-anxiety meds. Good luck and good wishes your way. The cakes were awesome and I get the sentiments but that last one was way too realistic to eat. Right up there with cutting thru somone's face. Ugh.
Karen

Rebecca said...

Good luck!

Marty said...

Do you mean endometrial ablation? If so, I am getting that done in two weeks and it couldn't come any sooner.

Good luck hon.

~~Marty

The musishian said...

Why is the strawberry wearing boxing gloves?

***

Love the "Operation" cake. Very cute, and well-done! Brings a nice bit of levity to the situation.

Jammies said...

Best wishes, and all will be well tomorrow. Recover soon!

Amy Guskin said...

Long time lurker, first time poster. Good luck, Jen! Many good healing vibes being sent your way. And, enjoy the legal drugs they give you for afterward.

texpenguin said...

Jen, thanks for the laugh as always! You know how every woman says they think that Sandra Bullock and she would be great friends, if they ever met? Well, you're my Sandra Bullock! We think so much alike, it's almost spooky!

Oh, and I had the ablation two months ago. Total breeze! Didn't even have the 'discharge' that they said I'd have for a week after. No pain. No cramping. And (angels singing) not a single spot since then! Needless to say, DH is also a fan of the procedure now...

natalie sztern said...

Where have you been all these years when I really needed a laugh?

This is the best website in the webisphere because it allows posters to not have to be so serious about food so many that I follow are so damn concerned with the ultimate recipe and methods of preparation

Carolina Nightingale said...

I have love and prayers (of ahppiness) coming your way! Nearly did that one after the last baby (my pregnancies are NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTY...) but am waiting a little while..... let us know how it goes (without TMI, of course, lol.) Hope all your bits feel fine in a couple of days!!!!

Anonymous said...

Best of luck! You'll do just fine and, I'm guessing, feel much better after the surgery.

This post is HILARIOUS, for the record.

Caitlin Greene said...

good luck Jen!! you will be fine, my mom got "spayed" (her word not mine) about 8 years ago and has loved every second of not cramping that has followed

i admit that i am jealous

eilbeback said...

I've never seen such a large group of women without uteri all together! And happy! Don't hate me, but i'm 52 and everything has been pretty normal for me. However, not so much for my poor sis... She had the procedure about 18 years ago... happy ever since! I'll be praying for you and sending you good thoughts tomorrow, as every other day, Jen! xo

Ravan Asteris said...

Good luck tomorrow!

I had a hist (they left my ovaries in) to remove fibroids, and I think it's the best thing I ever did!

No more bleeding yuck, no more cramps, no more anemia, and no more risk of pregnancy!

But yeah, I seriously considered having a "Happy Hysterectomy" party. There was absolutely nothing depressing or upsetting about getting the unwanted, pain inducing, organ GONE! It doesn't make me any less of a woman to not be able to get preggo.

weeona said...

Congrats!

I had my tubes tied over a year ago and it was the BEST decision this childfree gal ever made. The worst bit for me was the IV to the hand. I hate needles!

Patty said...

Glad that no one ordered me one of those 2 years ago when I had mine!

Chelle said...

Best of luck with your surgery - hope everything goes smoothly!

Anonymous said...

My mom, who is a major league wimp (must remain anon) had this procedure done twice before menopause finally came to the rescue. She said it wasn't too bad and was back to herownself the next day. However, she still will not disclose the nature of her malady beyond lady trouble.

Good luck!
Not leaving my name

Nagamori said...

Good luck with the operation! I wouldn't mind having that myself, but my periods aren't so severe. In my mind, the uterus is an organ whose only purpose is to create pain and suffering.

And I am protecting the world by keeping the pain and suffering locked up within me and not unleashing it on the world.

WV: grusti - how I feel when the uterus reminds me of its existence.

Stephanie said...

I have lots of spare good wishes to send your way, and even a testimonial. My daughter-in-law had this done a few months ago, and said it was a relatively (there's the key word) painless procedure, and very easy to go through.

As someone who's been battling cervical cancer for the last year myself, I can tell you that while no medical procedure is painless, the results are definitely worth the discomfort AND, having this procedure should mean that your doctors are doing a very thorough examination of all your lady parts, making sure there are no nasty things lurking around there. My cancer was found during a routine Pap test!

*[getting on soapbox]*
Get those Pap smears!
Do monthly breast exams!
Get your daughters vaccinated against HPV!
PLEASE!
[getting off soapbox]

Good luck Jen, and the best of wishes!!!!

sara said...

Sir Clumps-A-Lot? I am TOTALLY stealing that next month. My husband thanks you(curses your name) in advance.
Good luck with your procedure!!!

JenniferB said...

Hope everything goes well for you and that you heal quickly too. Best wishes and hugs!

peewee said...

I can NOT believe there's a cake for this? Or even a celebration? Now, is tomorrow's post gonna be a vasectomy theme?

Shauna said...

Jen--I did the endometrial ablation (cauterized uterus) in SPring 2005 and it was the BESt thing I have ever done! Good luck and heal quickly so you an enjoy the benefits that follow!

;) Shauna

dameruth said...

Best wishes, and I hope you have cake (a nice one, not a wreck!) afterwards.

StepherB said...

I had the same thing done to me almost 2 years ago! I have loved it! Not too bad! What a lively tribute! I feel bad I did not get my uterus cake when I had it done though!

Debbi said...

Jen ~ you will do fine. I will say a little prayer for your doctor to have a good day. You'll be out. You won't care. :) Your doc needs to focus. Don't forget to ask ... no, make that DEMAND ... some good drugs.
WV = ummaha. Ancient Good Luck with Your Uterus chant.

Anonymous said...

Damn - I've be cauterized twice which should be worth at least a cupcake!

I'm saving the pictures for my impending hysterectomy later this decade ...

joannmski said...

Hi there, just wanted to say that I enjoy your blog and had an endometrial ablation three years ago and am so glad. May all go well for you!

froggybaby said...

I had a uterine ablation 10 years ago. Best thing ever!!

Anonymous said...

I've been lurking for quite a while, but this is my first comment. Thank you, Jen, for making me laugh every day! Best of luck tommorrow. You'll be in my thoughts. (BTW, that Operation cake is awesome!!)

Judi

Julie@Momspective said...

OMG This was exactly what I needed. Stupid freaking uterus'.

Sili said...

The first one keeps looking like three steaks to me ...

Are you gonna do a vasectomy post next? (Just got the snip last week.)

Teri in Kirkland, WA said...

Ablation is supposed to be just a bit o' cramping afterwards. Had my entire "Tilly" plus her twin cohorts, "Lefty Ovarius" and "Righty Ovarius" out six weeks ago. BEST. THING. EVER. FOR. SURE. (now that I can walk upright, that is ;)).

Shan said...

Just wanted to say that a couple of my friends have... been cauterized... and they each swear it was the best thing they ever did for themselves. I hope you have the same experience.

And yeah, these cakes are wretched... except for the Operation one. That one rocked!

Anonymous said...

My mom had a total hysto this spring. Thank god. She was getting impossible to live with. I'm fairly certain she had a demon living in there. I wish I could get rid of mine (anyone want a practically new uterus? I'll let it go for cheap!) but the doctor says I should keep it. I like the name "Sweeney Todd". I usually just refer to it as my Infernal Organ.

Erin said...

I am just impressed that "hysterectomy" got spelled correctly on the third one.

Etiquette Bitch said...

Jen, wishing you well tomorrow and sending you good vibes.

I can't bear to look at the realistic/shiiiny cake.


Be well!

word verification: singsing. whaaatt???

Countessa said...

I had the same thing done on March 31st this year and haven't had the Curse since. I wish I had done it a decade ago.

redraven said...

Be well Jen. You'll be in my thoughts!

Word Verification: aphydra.

"Please send a nice aphydra to Jen at Cake Wrecks, to let her know I hope she recovers soon. It will look just lovely on her dining room table."

Alix said...

Am I the only one who thinks the "real thing" would make a dandy cake topper?

Just expedite the specimen to the bakery after pathology is finished with it. Easy peasy.

Laura said...

Sending good wishes your way for your procedure tomorrow...
And I have to agree that being rid of the baby maker is the best thing ever. After two kids, and the endless Auntie Flo, I've have to say I don't miss it a bit.

Anonymous said...

Good Luck!
Your blog is often the highlight of my workday.

Trina said...

My mom had a D&C too, and she was.. spacey but fine. Slept for a day and giggled about being in a wheelchair a lot. You'll be fine.

Shannon said...

Good luck! Will be thinking of you. I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago at a childless age 34. Not easy emotionally, but the best thing I ever did health wise. I never felt like eating a sweet representation of my girlie bits though.

holly said...

Well I am having a hysterectomy on 7/7 and I bet no one buys me a cake for it. (pout)

The Cynic said...

Good luck with the cauterization (I wish I were having it done. Oh, how I wish I were having it done. Horrid useless thing.)

I'm particularly amused by the delicately portrayed fimbria on the first cake's Fallopian tubes.

Anonymous said...

Tilly is the name of a book by Frank Perretti about a woman's journey from anguish to hope and comfort after an abortion.

But I cannot imagine ordering a uterus cake for an abortion, or for the surgery many people are glad to have. How bizarre.

I hope your surgery went well.

sikki

Val said...

I had the cauterizing and then the hysterectomy. Best money I'VE EVER SPENT! You'll do just fine :)

And those cakes. Who could eat a uterus cake. Eeeewwww.

holly said...

Knitter, if you went through what I go through, 2-3 weeks out of every month, for over 10 years, you would understand my contentment over my surgery coming up next week. It's no fun to live like this, so many things you can't do for days at a time, even like just going to the beach or often having to stop every 15 minutes when on a trip - hoping that there actually will be a restroom within the next 15 minutes. Add the total exhaustion from anemia to it all - I can't take enough iron orally to get my labs anywhere near close to normal. So I'm wiped out, all the time. I'm really tired of living like this. My uterus did some amazing things - grew my two wonderful sons for one thing, but they're in college and I'm 42.

As far as my husband's 'oozy bits', I would venture to say his haven't caused severe anemia or cramping that will double him over. And he certainly doesn't have to plan his life around them .

Liz said...

Jen,

Good luck with the procedure. I was cauterized last fall. I had really bad cramps (equal to my period) for the afternoon and was fine the next day. I hope your procedure solves more for you than mine did for me. Thanks for all the cakey wreckage.

Erin said...

I just found out this afternoon that I need to have a fibroid removed and have been nervous about it all afternoon. This just cheered me up!

carrie said...

Good luck tomorrow! I'm headed for the same thing in 2 weeks. Can't wait for it to be over. LOVE your sense of humor about the whole thing. I need a name for mine. Endometrium of torture just doesn't have the right ring to it.

Anonymous said...

Good Luck with your ablation! I had a thermal balloon ablation a few years ago and it was literally the best thing EVER. I think they should hand them out with tubal ligations ... if you're done having kids, there's no reason not to ... well other than the risks and blah blah blah. All I know is, I haven't seen that witch Flo in 3 years.

Anonymous said...

best of luck with the uterus surgery. -alht

Anonymous said...

Ok, after reading comments, I am a bit jealous. Some of you report no more PMS or cramping after yours! That's so not fair! My one little ovary seems to secrete enough hormone that I still have super happy mid cycle days (ovulating symptoms) and mean evil PMS monster days around day 20 ... the only reason I know I should be having a period is the fact that my face resembles a pepperoni pizza and the fruitless cramping. No bleeding since August 2, 2006 though, God be praised! May the doctor who invented the ablation procedure be showered with the riches they so richly deserve!

Anonymous said...

Best of luck to you, Jen.

My lady parts worked well until last January. I had some things cleaned and some things removed, and all is well. My life is back. Medical technology ftw!

You'll feel about a gazillion times better in about 24 hours.

Anonymous said...

Good luck tomorrow, Jen! You'll do great! The cakes are, as usual, oddly hilarious :).

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