[singing] "Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake WreckoRAAATor!"
Yes, in a sea of national complacency, you are the one shining beacon of truth, justice, and proper icing depictions of the American flag:
"Hey, Betsy Ross would be pro-oud!"And when it comes to the star placement on those flags. you don't let petty things like "perspective" or "scale" get in your way:
"Ooooh, I think you need a few mo-ore!"Yes, no other cake decorator loves this country quite the way you do, or has our sacred borders drawn on their hearts in quite the same way:
"At least you got Florida!"So here's to you, Faithful Fan of the Frosted Flag. Because without you, tinsel and airbrushing and cliched eagle photos would never end up on Cake Wrecks, where we all know they belong:
"Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake Wreckeraaaaa-tor!"Thanks to Wreckporters Danae H., Kate B., Scott W., & Emily J., who are clearly more patriotic than you are.
- Related Wreckage: Somewhere in Kabul, there is an Italian bakery
- Related Wreckage: Somewhere in Kabul, there is an Italian bakery
123 comments | Post a Comment
That last one makes me want to move out of the country.
LOL! That was the best beer commercial - i mean Cake Wreck.
Happy Birthday, America! Sorry your cake is so lousy.
The second photo down looks like "God Bless Bacon".
first of all - bless you for honoring the bud light song dudes! and I guess the patriots. And B - I really thought the one cookie cake with extra stars was a bikini at first...
Did I just sing my way (in my head) through that post? I sure did. Thank you for that, I shall now be singing that all day.
This is one of those times that a tribute turns slightly offensive. Those are just terrible, even though well ment. Seriously, the stars on the cookie and CCC AND trippy airbrushing, this is just too much! I think I will stick with red white and blue sprinkles!
Thanks for the morning giggle,
Becky
Awesome post!
-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com
I could totally hear the song in my head. Awesome!
Love that California is just absent on the outline cake.
Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Can you do Canadian flags tomorrow. Puulllleeeease! The maple leaf is so hard to draw freehand. I just know there must be some great wrecks out there.
Ah, the USA, where we have the freedom to wreck cakes, including cakes celebrating the freedom we have (to wreck cakes). Ironic. And I'm pretty sure you'd be imprisoned in North Korea for wrecking a patriotic cake as badly as that last one. Love your blog! - Robyn
This might be my favorite post ever. Great job!
Keep up the great work.
From,
rolling cooler cooler roller.
SO proud to be an American right now (not!).
Got to love the "GODBLESS" on that second one!! Wow, those are bad...
It seems there are more and more wrecks on those giant cookies. They are becoming almost as despicable as CCCs.
For a CCC, that America one is actually not ***that*** bad.
That last one is like a wonky magic eye poster.
You know those Bud Light radio commercials where the guy sings "Reeeal American Heeeerooooooo"
Well, that's the tune I heard playing in my head as I read the photo captions. It makes it THAT much funnier!!
That ad campaign is one of my all time favorites. Thank you for including it here and for doing it very well, I might add.
Hilarious - so funny. I had the song going the entire time in my head... ;)
Am I the only one who is impressed that someone made a CCC look almost like the USA? Anyone??
Is it just me, or does that second photo kind of look like a bra?
"This is one of those times that a tribute turns slightly offensive." Yes, yes, yes.
But, um, Suzy B.? I can only think of Susan B. Anthony, and I don't get the connection. Help, please.
I loved it, but having the options be Mr. or Mrs. did make me pause and say "wait, why does she have to be married"?
i cannot believe that i'm the only one to have noted that mexico and florida form a sort of...ahem...crotchtacularness of tackitude there on the right hand side of the CCC....
Lord have mercy. do they not know what the flag even looks like?
VW: ovell.
Ovell...I guess they tried?
I'm impressed by the ccc shaped like the USA. Good use of the cupcake shapes to make the borders.
The simple fact you wrote that to the tune of those hilarious beer commercials totally made my day...
*standing ovation!*
I love those commercials! Although you said Wreckerator in the first, and the changed to Decorator in the second, at the ending.
Those are SCARY CAKES, though. Has the first one even /seen/ the flag? "Yeah, it totally has red and blue stripes. I KNOW MY FLAG."
I don't know which is more sad...the wrong flag stripes or the sordid attempt to fit all those tiny stars into a ridiculous space? I'll let the terribly formed USA cake go this time and vote for the blue-and-red stripes. That's just sad.
I LOVE the site and have never been here before--got the link from
http://pregnantorfat.wordpress.com/
Do you run that one too? Awesome.
A freaking great post. It made my day :) Love those commercials!
On the third photo down, I think somewhere to the far upper-left there should be a freewheeling cupcake representing Alaska. Then it would be 'perfect'. :)
I just read this all in my head using the voices from the guys in the beer commercials.
This post was AWESOME.
Oh, those are awful!
~Amy B.
"Hey, Suzy B. would be pro-oud!" - don't you mean Betsy Ross? She's the one who sewed the first flag.
Since first cake (underneath dat) is from Canada and we celebrate tomorrow, where's ours? :)I'm going to have to hit the stores it seems!
My poor state of Michigan is gone fro the flag. Not even a hint of a lake either.
That's what I was thinking Luna. Florida looks a bit inappropriate.
I think by Suzy B. you mean Betsy Ross.
A) I will have the Bud Light ad song in my head for the rest of the day. That's not all bad, I guess.
B) I'm fascinated by people criticizing things like the use of "Mr. or Mrs." (uh, I'm a "Miz" and I didn't even notice that... time to relax, folks - Cake Wrecks did not just decree that all female wreckerators must be married) and the use of both Wreckerator/Decorator. (you MUST CHOOSE ONLY ONE!)
C) I think the cookie-cake with the two misshapen flags may have been heart shapes before they became flags? Maybe? But why?
D) The last cake made my stomach hurt. For America.
Jen, you're a genius.
Those are just hilarious! And yes, now I will have that commercial in my head all day long!!! At least I know how NOT to decorate my cake if I make one this weekend! ;o)
DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/
Here is a link to the ads you were referencing, for further enjoyment!
http://www.contemporaryinsanity.org/audio-video/bud-light-real-men-of-genius.html
so, at first I thought that cake 2 was trying to actually put 50 stars on the flag and assumed there were 13 stripes. nope. counted. 30-ish stars and at best 11 stripes. soooooo really. what's that about? plan plan plan people!
Are you sure the last one isn't the opening of the Colbert Report? ;)
I like the second. Despite the fact that it's pretty easy to tell it's a 'D', when the words are smushed together like that I really want to read "Goobles" So....Goobles, America!
"cannot believe that i'm the only one to have noted that mexico and florida form a sort of...ahem...crotchtacularness of tackitude there"
Noooo ... apparently I have the same dirty mind. :) My first thought was that it looked sort of ... half-mast-ish. Yeah. I'm gonna quit before I get myself in trouble.
The second one could kind of pass for a patriotic bikini top.
Wow... I totally sung along to that whole post. I love those commercials! Great stuff! Had everyone in my office looking at me while I was giggling at my computer. Totally worth it!
Thanks for the mid morning laugh!
Melissa
I am shocked the CCC of the US actually does somewhat resemble the actual shape...
"At least you got Florida!"
That looks more like a cross section of the male reproductive system than a map of the US.
I've loved the site 'til now but this? This cements my girl-crush (in a non-sexual way of course) on you Jen.
WOW! Those are some of the worst cakes in awhile. That last one is HORRIBLE!
Little known fact: the guy who sings lead in those commercials is the lead singer from Survivor ("It's the..Eye of the Tiger, it's the cream of the fight, risin' up to the challenge of our rivals!)
Looked that up one day when I knew the voice was familiar but couldn't place it.
http://www.usatoday.com/money/advertising/adtrack/2004-01-12-bud-side2_x.htm
here's the link to which I refer!
OMG just a few days ago I heard one of these commercials on TV and I was thinking "wouldn't it be funny if they made one about cake wreckers" - Jenn I swear you are a genius!! Love love love your humor!
Meow!
Misha @ http://www.kitty-cakes.blogspot.com
bzzzzgrrrl said But, um, Suzy B.? I can only think of Susan B. Anthony, and I don't get the connection. Help, please.
Same here. Susan B. Anthony was known for campaigning for women's right to vote. Perhaps Jen was thinking of Betsy Ross (credited with making the first US flag) or Mary Pickersgill (who made the flag at Fort McHenry, which inspired the Star Spangled Banner - can you tell I'm from Baltimore?).
I love those commercials and have been wishing they could be made into karaoke tracks! I could envision groups doing those together.
Fluffy Cow, the reason you don't see California is that there was an earthquake and it finally fell into the ocean, like they've been predicting for decades!
KuKu
your fellow LBer
OMG FUNNIEST POST EEEEEVVVEEERRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On first glance, I thought that second one said "Gobbles America"!
I swear I read the second cake as GOBBLES AMERICA.
o.O
I love you for that. And I was totally singing along in my head.
The "GODBLESS AMERICA" cake makes us look like a nation divided. Maybe we are in many ways, but...that cake is sad.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that looked like a bikini. And A+ for the Bud Light reference! LOL
Thank you for pairing my favorite series of commercials with your blog. YOU ARE AWESOME.
That was awesome! I love those commercials and you did a super great job. I could hear his singing voice in my head and it went along perfectly!
Bud Light commercial + Cake Wrecks = HILARIOUS. Methinks further commercial spoofs are in order, now that you've shown us this aspect of your parodic talents.
No, Luna wasn't the only one to notice... but expressing it as "crotchtacularness of tackitude" is like the funniest thing EVER!!
Quite a disproportion going on there too...
Nikki
Tweet me nice!
Maybe with Americas obesity problem id do-e-e-es say gobbles America! hmmmm? just sayin'!
OOH! Remember when most of the Midwest was swallowed by a meteor made of frosting?
No, neither do I.
Reeeeal Cakes of Geeeeenius!
We salute your official post
I think that CCC over by the Florida section looks like someones ...um....junk!!
Betsy Ross must be ripstitching in her grave!
WV- tartoing- "Honest, Occifer, I've only had tee martoonies. I'm on my way to the tartoing parlor to get my favoritest cake wreck on my bum."
Friends don't let friends buy Cake Wrecks (they give them as gifts!)
Hilarious! I love those commercials.
I actually like the CCC (shock!) It's rather clever. However, the bottom one looks like a patriotic-colored upchuck.
That was great...thanx for the laughs :)
Thank you for the laughs :)
After the great Epcot Incident of 2009, I prefer to stay out of the Suzy B. vs. Betsy Ross debate. I'm from Philadelphia and had flag history drilled into me every day, but I'm keeping an open mind in case Jen used Suzy B. on purpose. :-)
Love the Real Men of Genius theme in the post. I want to sent this link to them just so they can do a CakeWrecks song. ;-)
Thanks to those of you who pointed out my Suzy B/Betsy Ross mix-up. In my defense - or rather, in an attempt to throw someone *else* under the bus - John didn't catch it, either. ;)
I will now correct the post, so that future commenters can ask what the heck we're all talking about. Whee!
I totally got the voice in my head for that. Thanks for making me LOL!
Love your salute. I sang along as I read your post. Now that commercial tune will be in my head all day! :)
Re the cookie cake: I never knew the flag could have a goiter. Learn something new every day.
Word verification: tordishe (adj); large, bulky, unwieldy. From Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson. Usage: "The star fields on the cookie cake look tordishe."
That last cake made me really dizzy, I couldnt focus on it long enough to tell what it was supposed to be (maybe its not supposed to be anything, but like I said I cant look at it!)
Wow, I actually just sat and stared at that 2nd one for several seconds. I even gave my head a scratch. That was just... wow.
Awesome post--love the commercials, love Cakewrecks. I just wish there was sound!
wv: nockmai
Why you gotta nockmai country with those craptastic cakewrecks?
I salute you, for throwing back to the "Real American Heroes/Real Men of Genius" advertisements.
And I cower from the creations those bakeries allowed to be displayed on their shelves. ::shiver::
Loved the commercial theme tie-in, second only to Princess Bride tie-in...Challenge for you Jen:
Love Boat theme song tie in?
Gilligan's Island?
Pick you tv show theme song tie in?
You can do it!
WV: phati, as in "If you GOBBLES AMERICA, you be a phati!"
How does a Wreckerator (like the one in the second cake) hear the words "American Flag" and think "Odd, misshapen starry thing that looks vaguely like a mutant pair of pants"? I just don't get it! Someone should do a scientific study on these "cake" "decorators" to see if their unique genetic structure protects them from any diseases as well as making them utterly clueless.
P.S. Jen, I love the joke about the commercial, but you've used it before, remember? (Mr. Grocery-Store-Cake-Decorator)
OMG I could totally hear the Budwiser commercial voice over in my head! BTW, my sister's name is (Beverly) "Betsy" Ross!!
That homage to the bud light song was FANTASTIC!
And those cakes are so bad!!!! The one with the wonky stars is the best/worst. :)
God bless the USA. Now I am going to move to Canada.
Too funny! I would probably get in an accident from laughing hysterically if that came on the radio while I was driving. You need to pitch that commercial to them.
I think "Faithful Fan of the Frosted Flag" needs to be on a tshirt.
Oh, my...another bad use of everything...and those rows of stars...hilarious !
After these cakes, I think I might just start taking my camera while I'm shopping at stores that have bakeries...it might be fun to find a few Wrecks myself LOL
Oh. Em. Gee. Jen, I swear, you make me laugh harder every single day! The Bud Light homage was priceless!!!
wv: loosa {noun} not a winner "She found a new cake decorator because the last one was a real loosa."
oh my! That is hilarious! Kelly
Seriously, before I scrolled down to see the second image in its fully glory, I thought I was going to be looking at a bikini top that was decorated July 4th style. Sheesh.
My three-year-old saw the first cake and said, "wormies!"
hahahahaha
As always, your commentary is what keeps me coming back. Keep up the good work!
BethBear
Wow...Kind of ironic. Not too long ago I attended a 4-H workshop, and a man came in with a bunch of different flags that he had collected over the years. Each flag was one of the designs that had been considered as our country's flag. Amazingly enough, one of them looked kinda like...well, that first one. Ha ha. Lovely singing by the way. Genius...lol.
Wow! That Floridian...appendage...is quite interesting.
Not only some awesome wreckage, but kudos on the commercial homage!!!
Seriously? Do they live in America?
Alas...these are just a small collection of the "beautiful" birthday cakes I have had over the last 36 years:(
I didn't realize Mexico and Canada had been swallowed by the blue icing ocean! Tragic really.
Ooh! Does this mean we can expect Canada Day related wrecks tomorrow? (It is Canada Day after all :D)
Yeah, sure, they left out California's foot... BUT WAIT--THERE'S MORE!!! Apparently, something dreadful has also happened to Alaska, Maine, most of New England, and Hawaii . So, to Mr. or Ms. "I Love the USA! - but-I-just-can't-be-bothered-with-trying-to-make-this-thing-look- like-an-actual-map" : SIT on it. Face first, please.
On that last cake, I was thinking that the eagle looks like a plastic figurine, rather than a photo; it looks kind of 3D.
This once-proud, iconic symbol appears to be landing with a screeching halt on a bloody crime scene.. .Oh, wait--it IS.
=^><^=
Yes, Canadian Flags tomorrow. It's Canada's birthday.
Oh, and the white CCC looks like a lumpy old backside with two ermmm, well you know what they look like.
wv: frumps...used to describe some of the dresses my grandmother used to buy for me when I lived with her.
i love the beer commercials and all but this post totally made my day. great idea! ahahahahaha
So, I'm reading this and my fiance's reading over my shoulder. I scrolled down to the CCC attempt at the country and he says "Is that a Christmas tree?"
I am pretty sure it is just me, but the second one looks like a bikini top!
OK that second cake with the weird flags - is anyone seeing either two spindly hands holding open a spread-out buttcrack? Either that or a very, very strangely decorated ladypart. Something about the angle of those two 'flags' curving away from each other...*shudder*
Brilliant idea to put the post to, um, music? The tune has been in my head for almost a full day!
Here's one for you... Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting. Those kids were fast as lightning.
It took me a moment to get that the stripes are not supposed to be blue... I think I am spending too much time at work.
This pictures give me idea to create a Philippines version of cake where i can call it national cake...
Used cars distributor
I salute you, Jenn for combining two of my favorite things- the 'Real Men' ads and Cake Wrecks!! I totally sang through the whole post. The guy singing in the background makes the whole thing! Happy Fourth!
VERY WELL DONE! I could hear the commercial in my head as i read it. Hilarious!!
This was absolutely hilarious. Like for reals. I think this is now my favorite post. I read the whole thing in those guys' voices.
You really had the cadences and everything just down! Fantastic stuff.
If you turn that map one upside down you could end up with a real ugly Statue of Liberty.
I didn't say you could improve it, just was trying to figure out that the shape may have been meant for.
Ann
I've never noticed quite how much Florida looks like a big ol' wang hanging off the USA. Way to go, CCC makers!
Oh, and "God Bless America"? No way.
That thing says "Goobless America".
YES IT DOES.
I really tend to think that's a wonky eagle figurine on that last one as opposed to an eagle picture.
Nice take on the commercial. Some of the best marketing ever, even if I still don't drink that beer. I do want to eat cake now, though.
This is my favorite post of yours in recent memory. I'm in a college library right now, and I couldn't stop laughing - I drew a few stares.
The "cupcake cake" with the states on this post? My 6 year old was looking at this with me and said...hey! A tooth! LOL!
I know I'm way late to the party here, but my husband and I are big fans of the "Real Men of Genius" ads, so I just have to express my appreciation for this awesome post. So funny!