Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Real Stretch

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A "professionally made" giraffe cake:


I kid you not.

Kelly B. paid a whopping $4 for this, folks, JUST so she could share it with all of you. Now that's loyalty.

I find it fascinating that someone can know how to spell "giraffe" without having any idea what one looks like, don't you?
mere9 said...

i love the fact that the cake maker had to actually write 'giraffe' so that we (the public) know what the heck that was!

Justfrosting said...

I...I...I am lost for words. Oh, wait, I found some...

WHAT THE HELL???

Jenni said...

Is that supposed to be two cupcakes? So is this a horrible CCC gone even more wrong than possible?

Jen said...

Having to label your cake is a sure sign you have a Wreck on your hands.

Anonymous said...

In general, if you have to label it, it isn't working, right?

Deborah said...

Ew.

Alix said...

Damn, I thought it was a smiley dumbell for all us New Years dieters. We need all the help we can get you know. Now my stupid iron dumbells look lacking. I'm disappointed.

Leslie said...

This one gets politeness marks in my book for having the courtesy to tell us what exactly it is. But who knows..maybe this cake decorator was a disaffected abstract art student whose globs just didn't match the greatness of Pollock or somebody else - and so the caption was to let our uncouth eyes know the motivation behind this cakey masterpiece.

Lucky Wife said...

I think if you have to announce what it is, then it's a dead give away that it does NOT resemble it intention. Just like cars, the only cars with HONDA written across the windshield are the cars that resemble nothing close to a honda...

Alli said...

You know it's not good when the "decorator" has to write out what it is because they know no one will know what it is!

Debbi said...

OMG! WTF? Well, there's four bucks Kelly will never get back ...

That is the work of a "professional" cake decorator? No way!

RooManda said...

Try finding this animal at the zoo. Think of all the little kids who will think a giraffe is two bright yellow and black blobs. This is why our kids can't get into college!
kidding, of course. It is funny!

Persnickety Ticker said...

It's kinda cute...

At least the wreckorator didn't try to include the blue-black tongue.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Yellow Dalmatian, maybe. MAYBE. But no giraffe. heehee

Dustythemomhaskins said...

seems there is more icing than cake, is that possible? Great find, ridiculous cake. Someone needs to be fired.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

It should say "giraffe" hee, hee.

Honestly, I'm surprised they spelled it correctly.

WV: faveness - Cake Wrecks is a faveness of mine.

Jess said...

It looks more like a long necked yellow ladybug then it does a giraffe, is this a new hybrid we have'nt heard of before?

Char said...

I teach kinders that could do a better job than that wreck.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Oh, but he looks kind of wobbly and cute. And...tasty?

Flartus said...

There has been a plethora of cakes on cakeboards bearing a title. My thought is, if you have to explain what it is, it's not good enough to sell.

Maybe the idea was to make a child's cake that the child could pass off as his or her own creation? Like, a 2-year old child.

Auntie Hellcat said...

That is a giraffe? Then I am Madonna.
Really.

Wow.

Valarie said...

Does it have five legs or four with a really long tail? It kind of looks like one (maybe the tail) is waving? But it can't be the tail, right, its coming out the front...

Angie said...

I think I would pay $4 to have a good laugh. Money well spent. Thanks for the chuckle.

You know, the giraffe is kinda cute, in an ugly kind of way.

Hyena Overlord said...

More micorbiology...Mitosis: reproduction through cell division.

Or it could be "budding". It's anything but a giraffe.

wvotd exhakine: The amino acid lacking in the brains of people who decorate cakes badly. The missing amino acid causes a delivery flaw in the synapes the carry the image the eye sees to the tasteful/tacky dicphering part of the brain. This results in a skewed perception of what looks accurate and what is acutally presented.

Craig said...

I felt more like the decorator should have written "Ceci n'est pas une girafe."

elsolylaluna said...

I LOVE IT.

Bittersweet said...

I have to ask Kelly B. if she felt at all embarrassed to purchase this?

I can just picture the cashier looking at me thinking "You are going to pay money for this??" Or maybe the cashier and the baker have both gone to the acid-trip zoo together.

Meg said...

If you have write what it is on the cardboard next to it, maybe you should try again.

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

Is it a Wal-Mart Smiley face giraffe? Its it a cup cake giraffe?

Wild Cakes said...

Just because you got paid to do it, doesn't make you a professional!!! GAH!

We really need to get some professional accreditation standards in this field so this doesn't happen to some poor unsuspecting parent! LOL

level 1: Master Cake Artist (leave the masterpieces to these guys!)
level 2: Advanced Cake Decorator (can handle most orders)
level 3: Intermediate Cake Decorator (basic grocery-store type cakes will at least resemble what it should be)
level 4: Basic Cake Decorator (your cake will look home made, but appealing)
level 5: Cake Wrecker! (order with tongue placed firmly in cheek; for the humour value only! Nobody is responsible for the icing to cake ratio with these people, and CCCs are best left to this group as well!)

D.B. Echo said...

I have a feeling that this cake design is based on a child's drawing. Which is actually a really cute idea.

MAD Magazine ran a piece decades ago in which children's drawings were rendered as three-dimensional objects. The rocket ship was pretty cool.

Chelle said...

I like it.

Sue said...

Just. So. Sad.

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you what this really is. It's a smiling lollipop on a tiny planet that has four leafless trees and a dead one growing on the other side.
Ignore the giraffe label!

dan said...

It looks like he's waving to us with his fifth leg.

Lizzy Leigh said...

That's not a giraffe. It's a lady bug holding a lollipop!

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

it looks like two bumblebees mating. :)

*~*Lis*~* said...

I was surprised the spelled giraffe correctly!

NashvilleJen said...

I had to comment because my WF is "abled". As in when Kelly B. bought this cake she en-abled the cake wreckecorator. Now there will be more of these bad cakes on the bakery shelf because the wreckecorator thinks they are good enough to sell!

Leah said...

I'm generally in favor of "Take Your Child To Work" days, but letting them _do_ the work?

kath said...

My favorite wrecks tend to be the ones that have their description written directly on the cake. I want to walk into a bakery one day and glance at something that makes me think "WTF is that???" and then when I get closer, I'll be able to READ what it is. Awesome.

Cassykins said...

Oh no, it has brain tumors! Poor giraffe =( I'm glad she bought him now because he may not have long left...

Amy said...

Goofiest giraffe I've ever seen.
~Amy B.

sendingtheclowns said...

"Oh, wook, Mumma! That cake wooks ike a gaffe!"
"Yes, my dearest...it certainly does."


wv: "probbyxi": what a two-year-old answers when someone asks him/her what dog poop might taste like.

Mel said...

Okaaaaaaaaayyyy...so just to show you how my mind works...and probably frighten the life out of you...while I was watching the Rose Parade all I could think of was that next year, there should be a CW float. I was picturing the ever hilarious monkey...now I think he should also be joined by the "Giraffe". Can't you just see them in all their petal/seed/grass covered glory?

delaney55 said...

At least it was only $4.

KPP said...

I...kind of like it. Its a wreck, surely, but I might buy it anyway.

Shevonne said...

Maybe a giraffe from another planet.

GM said...

As a rainy-day activity decorated by a preschooler, I would buy it.

As a "professional" cake . . . they've gotta be kidding.

stinkalto said...

but it is so incredibly cute!

Michi said...

I wonder if it had "giraffe" on it from the start, or if they added it later after people kept asking?

Mrs. Mordecai said...

I bet the decorator ran out of time and let her kids help. Yup.

Andy said...

I think it's cute... it would be cuter if it were better done, though. :)

Holly said...

$4 for two cupcakes? that's scarier than the decorating!

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

That looks like a smiley face on top of the body of a spider. It may haunt my hopes and dreams

Julie said...

WV... mokas..

The decorator mokas some good weed if she thinks her end result looks anything like a giraffe.

megan said...

I'm in the minority that thinks it's pretty cute. :) Kinda like something I might make (no, I'm not very artistically talented)....I might use two cupcakes for the body, but that's just me :)

Woofless said...

You know what I see here?

I see the next design that should appear on the newest "Wreckwear" clothing!

Can anybody else see this on a baby's onesie or a toddler/kid's T-shirt? LOL.

I know I've seen kids' clothing with a random zoo animal & the name of the animal on it. I think it'd be a cute- no....Wrecktastic take on your kid's wardrobe ;) I'd buy one, and I don't even have a kid!

(.q3c..) said...

Hmmm... I have to admit I actually DO LIKE IT. It has a certain naïve quality to it that makes it... cute (?)

Don't get me wrong, it is totally a wreck, but a cute one nevertheless. I would personally gladly pay up to $10 for this thing... and treasure it for years to come.

JennyKitten said...

sometimes life doesn't make sense?

Like I have to actually have to know what I'm doing to keep my job, but this decorator just gets to produce this??

I mean WOW!

BrenderBrender Fender Bender said...

It looks like something my six year old would create: a cratered planet engulfed in sulfurous gas, orbited by a sun exploding (see the cloud of black smoke pluming towards the planet?) But to make the planet not feel so bad about its fate...the sun puts on a smile. Maybe he could start charging $4 a pop too.

Motorcycle Grandma said...

I'm with D.B. Echo. The cake could have been recreated from a kid's drawing which makes it kind of endearing.

Natasha said...

Kaylee: It's a [giraffe]. I like it.
Inara: You do?
Kaylee: Looks like it was made with, you know, longing. Made by a person who really longed to see a [giraffe].
Inara: Perhaps because they'd only heard of them by rough description.

Kelli said...

if this wasnt professional it would be great if only a 3 year old designed it and decorated it. but professional, come on, that person should be fired.

Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine said...

If ever a ccc would have been slightly acceptable. This was the time.

RDgirl said...

Does anyone else feel like it's waving at you? That tail-thing. It's like a strange hand that's waving at you saying, "Hi, I'm a giraffe. In case you couldn't tell."

Cellar Door said...

What's the problem? My giraffe looks just like that.

Heidi said...

Huh. I've yet to see a yellow and black giraffe. I think our local zoo must be spray painting our tan and brown variety. And since when is it kosher to frost the cake board instead of the cake??

wv= shrowe, as in when I shrowe this to my kids they laugh harder than I do!

Mandee said...

I hope it was tasty, Kelly...because it sure isn't cute!

cherylzyx said...

Actually purchasing it is only encouraging them. What if the bakery manager gave this 'designer' one last chance to prove him/herself?

"Do your best, try your hardest, and we'll see if anyone buys it. If it sells you can keep your job. If not, don't let the door hit your bum on the way out."

The following day:

Designer: "It sold! It sold!"

Manager: "Ah, crap! Welcome to the team."

Scritzy said...

Okay, I looked at it, and I looked again, and I looked yet again, and I thought, "Maybe it's just the medication I'm on ..."

But apparently, yeah, that's supposed to be a giraffe.

*eyeroll* Reminds me of the fireplace cake, only with WAY less icing.

By the way, have you noticed if you read the word giraffe several times, it begins to look as if it's misspelled?

Lisa in TX said...

My two-year-old saw this and immediately shouted "Spider! Talking on the phone!"

wolfmom said...

It is kinda cute...but let's hope the concept of the 2-cupcake CCC doesn't catch on.

How could you not buy this?

Anonymous said...

"A real stretch." Snork. What a terrible pun. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Caitlin said...

i think it's kinda cute!

Bailey's Leaf said...

It always bugs me when the write on the cardboard.

kerry said...

i was thinking weird yellow poodle at first. yeesh...

accidental altruist said...

Am I the only one who can't view this cake? I get a Google error message. :-(

Yénifer said...

OMG! I actually think this thing is sort of cute! Giraffes are my favourite animal, and I collect giraffe-related items.

I also find it amusing that they had to write "giraffe" on it. Otherwise it just looks like... well.... I don't know.

Anonymous said...

i also got the google error message! - anyway you could repost the picture?

Katie said...

My 4 year old daughter had no idea what the cake was, and she is imaginative.

Anonymous said...

Add me to the list of people who think it's kind of cute... in a weird, twisted way. Must be the giant happy face that's as big as its body. C'mon, how can you not love that goofy grin, just a little bit?

Patti Jo said...

If they were trying to appeal to children they missed the mark. As I was reading the post my 3 year old came over and asked what I was looking at. I responded by telling him it was a giraffe and asked if he thought it looked like one. He answered with a no and then added that he thought it looked stupid.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

Ummm is it legal for Kindergarten students to work in a bakery? I thought we had labor laws.

Anonymous said...

WOW... two cupscakes and a frosting neck... totally worth $4.00..., NOT!!!!!!!!

joan said...

I love the parade float idea and the kids' t-shirt idea, and a day with a "Firefly" reference is always a good day.

trying4two99 said...

You know the sad thing is the person who made this HORRIBLE cake actually thinks it looks good.. WTH?? I would love to know where she bought this..$4- how many cupcakes was there??

trying4two99 said...

Pre-zactually.... This giraffe was pre-zactually what I was thinking about....

I LOVE THIS BLOG!!!

The Sugar Fairy said...

Looks like something my little daughter would have made.

Mama said...

That is one "happy" giraffe.

DangGina said...

wow. sometimes when i'm forced to draw something, i label it...to help my audience, right? but i don't draw poorly on a cake and then ask someone to pay me for it.

Becca said...

neck brace.

Toriisen said...

I hope the 4 dollar cupcakes tasted good at least underneath all that frosting. What a horrible CCC!

Anonymous said...

classic.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

For a second there, I thought my six year old daughter got loose in a bakery somewhere. I bet if I asked her to draw a giraffe for me, that it would look like that merchandised baked good.

Jennifer Foster said...

It looks like that old Tupperware giraffe toy from the 70's!!!!!

KellyB said...

When I paid for this "Cake" the cashier looked at me like I was nuts. So I explained to her why and she looked very relieved. My 5 year old thought it was a dog. I absolutley love this site and would pay 4.00 for this cake anyday if it gave you all a chuckle. We kept it for awhile and then just fed it to the dog. Keep on wreck'n...Kelly B

Anonymous said...

Craig's "C'est ne pas un giraffe" sounds like a t shirt to me...... :D

dreamday cakes said...

So I (sadly and wasting some talent) still work in the Walmart bakery. I tried the whole giraffe things based on a picture from our "Cake Style Guide" Mine's a little better then this, but still prob cake wreck worthy.
http://dreamdaycakes.blogspot.com/

Wolfie said...

I actually...rather like it. It's not terribly well executed, certainly, or worth £2.61 ($4) to me, but I find that expression of inane optimism rather delightfully cheering. :-D

Jennifer said...

Are we sure this isn't from a four-year-old's birthday party, where attendees got to decorate their own cupcakes?

Anonymous said...

$4 for two cupcakes? Still worth it!!

PamperingBeki said...

Oh.My.Gosh.

Anonymous said...

wowee, i never thought the decorator could ever be so off-the-mark. either that, or that giraffe they modeled was REALLY ugly.

Anonymous said...

My two year old actually readily identified those yellow masses as a giraffe! Who knew?

ProfessorDog said...

I think if the parameters of the job were that the person had to make a giraffe out of two round cupcakes, without cutting them, it would take a really phenomenal decorator to do much better.

The musishian said...

I like it. Looks like it was made with, you know, longing. Made by a person really longed to see a giraffe.

hvm said...

Oh, man I love your comments about the cakes, they're probably funnier than the cakes themselves. This one makes me laugh hysterically every time I see it (the title was awesome).

oliviagiovetti said...

Has anyone quoted the SNL sketch yet? No? Good....

GIRAFFES!
GIRAFFES!
GIRAFFES!
GIRAFFES!

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/giraffes/810987/

Nieuwy said...

I think I need this as my birthday cake! lol

Monique said...

My 6 year old said it looked like a big dumb yellow poodle. My 3 year old thought a banana. My 12 year old got red and refused to tell me what it looked like. I pried and figured out he was looking at the "tail". I'm sure you can imagine what he was thinking...LOL

Alex said...

I think it's actually kind of cute in a weird way....

divani said...

actually i love this.

Anonymous said...

Aww, I thought it was kind of cute. Although most things that look even slightly pathetic I find cute.

The Fiskeaux Family said...

Just for fun, I asked my 2½ year-old what animal this was. He thought about it for a little bit, then said, "It's dirty." After looking a little longer, he said, "I've never seen that." ROFLOL

Anonymous said...

It's kinda sad actually, someone is trying to make a living but does not do it the right for them.

bombalurina said...

it's -- cake outsider art!

Anonymous said...

I actually "painted" (more like squirted lines directly from a tube of paint-ish-stuff) a giraffe just like this, onto a drum-ish-thing, when I was 6 or so. Except, my giraffe was more realistic.

T_T

Hannah! said...

Awww, it's so cute! I really like it. I want a poor little silly giraffe cake!! :D

astropod-five said...

That is adorable and I love it.

Hedgie said...

I agree! It's very appealing and original.

Anonymous said...

It's cute, in the drawn by a three year old kinda way.

Danielle said...

lol i work at a Great American Cookie at a mall and ive seen some horrible.. horrible cakes. I need to bring some of my pictures. i only wish i could have taken a picture of the wingless bumble bee giraffe cookie my manager made.

bryn said...

i love this cake, it makes me hoot. i look it up when i'm sad. i want it for my birthday cake next month. it is the happiest giraffe ever. not to eat, obviously because that much frosting looks beyond vile, but to marvel at in wonderment. a genius cake. why isn't it on a tshirt yet?