Thursday, January 22, 2009

Breaking News: Head-Swelling Bakery Incident Goes Horribly Awry

Thursday, January 22, 2009

You know how local morning shows always have chefs or bakers on to do little demonstrations and whatnot? And how those visiting guests always bring a little treat for the hosts and crew? Well, here's what one such visiting bakery brought to the station where Wreckporter Hayley E. works:


It's like a mixed media collage of cakedom! Seriously, this cake has it all: fun-house-mirror photos, airbrushing, fondant "hair" (don't miss the guy's!), a buttercream border, and sufficient excuse to call the show hosts "fat heads" for at least a week or so. (Oh, did I mention those are the hosts?)

Of course, it could also be used as the poster-cake for the call to ban edible image printing. Really, who thought technology that allows you to eat people's photos was a good idea? It always ends up looking rather creepy.

Or, in this case, gross:

Mmmm, now there's an appetizing composition. I bet all of Karissa's relatives were SO proud. And full. As in, "no-really-I-couldn't-eat-another-bite" full.
Anonymous said...

I saw the cake a went "eew" out loud.

Ky said...

I love his hair.

Shelly... said...

I'm glad I already ate breakfast. I thought the top cake was disturbing but the one where the chick is on the toilet. Gaaaa!!
Seriously, why would someone think that would be a good idea?

Neil J Murphy... said...

Not to mention that the photo looks like she actually IS trying to sh--!
(And not having an easy time if it.

Colleen said...

Those are beyond terrible! I'm not sure I would bring them to a TV station...that may be tragic for my business.

Colleen
cyberrblue.wordpress.com

WV: quiys....sometimes I'll answer but I'll never understand the quiys...

Anonymous said...

You don't even have to have a piece of this cake to know it has NO TASTE!!!! Reminds me of a phrase one of my high school teachers used, "Diahrrea of words and a constipation of thought." If you find yourself putting profanity AND a picture of someone on a toilet on a cake, just put the pastry bag down verrrry slowly and step away from the icing bowl.

Anonymous said...

I hope that second cake wasn't chocolate.

Cheron said...

Oh my! That second cake...who could have possibly thought that was a good idea? At least I can hope the cake wasn't chocolate.

I Like Bubbles said...

I think the graduation cake is hilarious, actually. My mother totally would have had a cake like that made.

This is the woman who, for my 18th birthday, printed all the embarassing photos from my childhood and put them on the wall.

XD

Kate said...

further proof that edible photo + cake = disaster.

Fluffy Cow said...

So, the first one is so the fault of the bakery... Although I really love the little tie. The second? That's just bad taste.

Stefanie said...

Ohhhhhh my my my. Where to start?

First off, who has such a twisted sense of humor that they would take a picture of someone ... how shall I say it.. on the potty. And then- say "Hmmm this would make a great cake!"

No..she wont be scared for life at all!

All Adither said...

Karissa kind of looks like she's about to vomit.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Amy said...

Its not the fatheads that bother me, it's the mere idea that someone would put a pic of someone on the toilet, on a CAKE!!
That's wrong on so many levels.
~Amy B.

Mikki said...

Well, you've done it again. I am horribly frightened and scarred for life due to you blog.

Congartluatins. or whatever.

...although, it does kinda give new meaning to "grabbin' a piece of a**"

(wonder how many times you'll hear THAT one today?!)

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

WHO in the world would put a picture like that on a cake? Especially a graduation cake! I would be so upset at my family if they ever did that.

The top cake looks like one of those clown dolls that you can knock down but it comes right back up...with a creepy smile.

Lisa said...

Your blog is turning out to be very good for my diet - another morning of not wanting to eat. . .

Tara said...

It's hideous, yet I can't look away... OMG... I... I don't know what else to say

Anonymous said...

Oh my! Wow! Um, what?!?!? I'm at a complete loss!

Holy $#!t! What were they thinking????!!!!

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

What were they thinking??

miss jacobs if you're nasty. said...

the first cake looks like someone photoshopped some faces onto her falsies. and the second? i don't like to think about excrement while i'm eating. gah.

April said...

hah! I actually like the second cake. She's obviously laughing hysterically about someone taking her photo on the toilet.

I would kill someone for doing that to me but I have a feeling this girl got a good laugh out of it.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I realize that the woman's hair on the first cake takes up some area, but they should have adjusted the guy's flesh colored mound so that he doesn't have a halo of nothingness around his head. Also, it's even more wrecky because the edible photos wrinkled as the baker smoothed them over the mounds.

I like the Karissa cake, I think it's funny!

the willards said...

the second cake is hilarious! LOL

StinaRie said...

ok, so the first scared me but the second I thought was so horrible that it was funny! I would order a cake like that - you've got to have a sick sense of humor.

StinaRie said...

"the first cake looks like someone photoshopped some faces onto her falsies."


HILARIOUS - had to go back for a 2nd look!

Bonnie said...

I just snorted over "I hope the cake isn't chocolate"!

On the newscasters....the intention was good...i think...I mean the little suit jacket and tie and the woman's blouse...and the hair...that part is cute...it's when they add the blown up faces that suddenly the cake zooms out of control...

the second one was out of control as soon as they took that picture...although if you take the rest of the cake...the penmanship on the words, the piping of everything...all that looks good...so this one was not the fault of the baker, but the tastelessness of the customer. "I hope the cake isn't chocolate"! Still chuckling over that one!!!!!!

Etiquette Bitch said...

CW2 is just disgusting! I hope Karissa is no longer speaking to the twisted individual who presented this to her.

Insanity Kim said...

Yeah I certainly want a cake with a picture of a girl on the toilet and a white tube-like structure sitting on top of it--did she graduate or is that "time of the month"? Sheesh.

Mella said...

Thanks for ruining me perfectly good late lunch

Jeanna said...

What possesses people to take pictures of their friends on the toilet?

Jenny said...

That's a boob cake from a novelty bakery. That's funny, and I'm still trying to figure out if it's intentional.

Anonymous said...

That news anchor cake is GENIUS!

Beckster said...

THAT'S JUST WRONG...ON SO MANY LEVELS....

I guess my daughter better watch our or she might end up like Karissa...you know, all the "great" ideas I get from this wonderful blog!!!!! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Would that second cake be more disgusting if it were yellow cake or chocolate?

Eeeew--red velvet?

Mandi said...

I wonder who ate Karissa's, er, piece.

Ashley said...

The graduation cake...that is soooo wrong on so many different levels!

Deborah Godin said...

Note to self: Never have your photo taken on the biffy, not even as a joke, 'cause you never know when it's going to end up on a cake on somebody's hilarious blog, and be seen round the world...

christina said...

I'm praying that's a diploma on the second one and not a feminine hygiene product. CanNOT imagine it any situation where you would think it was ok to put that image on a cake. Hope mama remembers who's gonna pick the nursing home!

OldMorgans said...

This is the first I have heard of edible photos. And I wish I could still remain in ignorance. Some things are better left unknown.

The word verification for this comment was "hyaws" which describes my reaction to the cakes quite well.

sagebeasties.blogspot.com
curtsbookshemet.blogspot.com

Tara MacDonald said...

Let's just hope and pray that the last cake wasn't chocolate!!!

Penny said...

We now know why Karissa needs therapy...it was Suzy's day yesterday...not its poor Karissa's turn.

WV: Stringi: maybe this refers to the hair or perhaps this would have been really creepy if it appeared on the body part day.

Rana said...

Oh god. I assumed that the girl was just sitting on the toilet. But a second look revealed that the lid is up and her pants are down.

o.O

EW!!!

RobinMarie said...

l love the second cake. i think it shows that family has a great sense of humour. very funny!

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

I have always wanted to eat a cake of a girl going to the bathroom. Yummy. Just so long as it doesn't have that bathroomy taste, that'd be awkward.

Hyena Overlord said...

I like the tie.

I'm waiting for the heads to explode.

Where is the last bastion to good taste? I think I need to go live there after seeing the second cake.


wvotd..lizoisig: pronounced lees wa sig; the inability to tell what is in good taste and what is not. This condition is accompanied by a lack of insight and the inabiity to learn from one's ventures into bad taste.

The Frolicking Fräulein said...

Someone needs to stop passing around the haterade.

Karissa's cake is GENIUS.

And anyone who thinks that it lacks taste has CLEARLY never inspected a Facebook or Myspace page, ever.

tantra flower said...

Reason number 4567838392 to close and LOCK the bathroom door...

Debbi said...

Wow. I thought yesterday's baby cake was scary ... those anchors on the first cake look they are about to pop. Back away from the cake, ladies and gentlemen, just back away from the cake ...

The second one does not even deserve a comment. I hope the decorator quit/was fired in shame after that one! No excuse!

Vivian said...

You always worry about awful photos of yourself ending up on the Internet. Poor Karissa! On a cake that ends up on the Internet!

Tatersmama said...

The toilet one gives new meaning to the phrase "tasteless" doesn't it!
I just hope that that wasn't chocolate mud cake.

I will never eat mud cake again!

Adele said...

I know that girl on the Potty's Momma is real proud.

(WV:Muffle what you do when you are reading Cakewrecks at work.)

jengersnap said...

Sure hope the grad cake didn't include a request for fudge filling.

WV: Cheri. Karissa with a cheri on top, ftw!

wolfmom said...

This is like rubber-necking at an accident on the freeway. You know you shouldn't look , but, you...just...can't...help...
yourself...

Anonymous said...

The Karissa cake has to be the most redneck, backwards, tacky cake I have EVER seen! Who would really think that was funny or cute? Stupid parents
(ask me how I really feel about it)

Anonymous said...

First Karissa has to endure getting that cake at her party. I bet she thought it was sort of funny. With her family & friends. I wonder how funny she thinks it is now that it's all over the Internet? Because now, we all know what a big freak Karissa is. And we have the toilet picture AND the cake to prove it. But hey- at least she's got that diploma! Congrats Karissa!

Ted S. (Just a Cineast) said...

I can't help but wonder whether Karissa was in on the joke. There are lots of people out there who have such a lowbrow sense of humor. (As an example, I sometimes refer to myself as a "young fart", as opposed to all those old farts out there.)

At least, I certainly hope she was in on the joke.

Leslie said...

Hey maybe the Frolicking Fraulein is onto something here.
"So what picture do you want on your graduation cake Karissa?"
"Oh how about the picture from my MySpace profile!"

I've definitely seen this bad and worse on people's social networking pages. I just never thought I'd see it on a cake. *scratches her head* And I agree with Neil too...from the look on her face she needs to lay off eating whole blocks of cheese in one sitting.

Jessica said...

I can just hear the 5 years olds now.... "I want the butt! I want the butt!"

Nastiness

Amy said...

That graduation cake is just wrong on so many levels. Wow!

Scritzy said...

The first cake is bizarre. Having once worked in radio and seen firstshand what a "fan" does in frosting to represent a deejay, I feel the pain there.

The second cake. Holy crap. And I mean that literally. Talk about a "dump" cake! And dang, the diploma does look like a Tampex.

It seems after all the ahem, goofy pictures of teens that have shown up on the internet would make people think twice about posing for this kind of picture. Evidently not ... I fear for humanity's future ...

Word verification: unottl. Unottl better ever try to make ME one of those wrecks.

♥georgie♥ said...

stopping by to say congrats on your Weblog nom!
http://2009.bloggies.com/

DoodleBunz/DB Impressions said...

Holy. Yikes. That is all.

Judy said...

To the Frolicking Fraulein:

Unfortunately comparing bad to to even worse taste does not negate or void the original bad taste!

WV - fieles -what the dyslexic thinks this cake will attract.

clueuin said...

FOMCALMAO (Falling Off My Chair, etc)
Oh, my god! LOL
I could just see the daughter looking at her mother a the while saying "Why, mother, Why?
*Snicker*
Peace,
Clueuin

Anonymous said...

I hope its not Chocolate

bassenav said...

OMG does not even begin to describe it. Those booby heads are weird. But I am so jealous! When will I have my inflatable ego put on a cake for all to admire!
On Karissa's cake though, why does everyone assume it was her family? That looks like the work of very dear and near friends to me!

pudenda shenanigans said...

That last cake defines trailer-trash-mentality. Only an utterly classless parent would think that's a terrific idea for a graduation cake, complete with expletive spelled out in blue frosting.

This country is DOOMED.

Amy said...

They'll put a picture of an adult woman on a toilet on a cake, but not the little boy named Adolf's name?

Hmmm....

Brianna T said...

I absolutely adore the clothes on the first cake!

Calantha said...

Hookay, I'd pitch a fit to rival the Spartans in 300, if that second cake ever happened to me. THere are just some things that are too sick to laugh at.

Kelli said...

I laughed when I realized you blocked out the 4 letter word, but had no problem posting a picture of a girl on the toilet with her pants around her ankles. Such standards! :)

Anonymous said...

OK, when I first opened this page I got a bad glare from the window, and I seriously thought the male anchor was supposed to be Kevin from the US version of The Office, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out who on the show the woman was. I was having a really hard time figuring out how you would tie this to the "I Want Sprinkles" cake that quoted Angela from that very same series.
Then I read the actually commentary on the blog.
And then I read the comments.
It's even funnier and stranger than I originally imagined.

Susan said...

Cake #1 is disturbing and scary.

Cake #2 is disturbing and nasty.

WV: Shlyot These cake wreckorators oughta by shlyot.

Sarah said...

Man, you guys are all WAY too uptight. That graduation cake is just funny! It's quirky humour that some people don't get, but others (myself included) do. Just because we find that funny doesn't mean we're dumb, or trailer trash, or anything else like that. We just appreciate the weird side of life.

I'm the type that likes Monty Python, though, so that might explain it a bit. :)

holly said...

Quite honestly - if I can get my youngest son through HS to graduation, I'm thinking a cake along those lines would be perfect. I'll bet his principal would help me pay for it too, since I'm sure he'll feel the same 'holy s***' way as the rest of us!

gorgon said...

Those are just ick and wrong!!

Anonymous said...

That second cake - class. Pure class.

I bet poor Karissa was truly pissed off by that one.

What kind of boneheads think taking pictures of people on toilets is funny? With family like that, it's no wonder they are amazed she graduated.

TwistedSerenity said...

*LOL* I guess embarrassing your kids rally is a full time job...hehe! I dont know though, I probably won't do any toilet shots of my kids on the toilet for graduation!

Kore said...

I think that the graduation cake is pretty funny.

TheManOfNotts said...

The toilet cake is great. But you cant eat a cake where someone is taking a dump!!!!!!!!

Lazy Mom Leslie said...

That is horrible! I love how one picture doesn't even cover the mound o' cake!

Wolvie Girl said...

I'm just glad that the writing and borders on the Karissa cake isn't brown.

Word Verification: Ofibli - Obmoa's second cousin

DangGina said...

I'd've killed whoever took a picture of me on the pot. Photo would've been destroyed so putting it on a cake wouldn't have even been an issue.

Oh yeah, and also, I can't think of anyone in my life who'd think to put such a picture on a CAKE of all things.

Hell's bells!

pripyet said...

The first time I viewed this post, the ad at the bottom said "diaper cakes" and I thought it was part of the post!
Absolutely adore this blog, by the way.

Becky B said...

That second cake is absolutely hysterical! Wish I'd have thought of it!

trinora said...

Is.. anyone else getting the "Diaper Cake" ad? I burst out laughing over it, but.. then I realized it was real...

http://img105.imageshack.us/img105/8486/noodledoodle1024768yx3.jpg

Cake Wrecks, where even the ads fail.

Kitti said...

Wow, that first cake is downright SCARY! And the 2nd, that's just nasty!
~K

Angie said...

ummm... Seriously some one needs to out law edible photo on cakes.

When people request a photo on a cake the men is white coats need to swoop in and take them to a padded cell where they can rethink the whole thing.

Brandi- Glitz and Glamour Events said...

Blog Luv Award~ You have been tagged as one of my top 10 blogs! Take a moment to spread the LUV around.

Laura said...

I can't believe so many people don't realize that the toilet picture is completely posed and voluntary. No one busted in on her in the bathroom actually using it. She probably came up with the idea herself.

Salvo said...

Am I the only person who thought the second cake was hilarious?? :)

Feisty Irish Wench said...

And my husband wonders why I lock the bathroom door....

Buckeye Benita said...

That's just wrong.

Scythemantis said...

LOL, I recognized the last photo immediately! A friend of mine took it years ago (before cakewrecks existed!) at the bakery she works for, and said that whoever ordered it never came back to claim it. I'm glad she found the photo, we were just saying it'd make a good submission.

Tracy Sherwood said...

You really have to wonder about the relationship Karissa has with a person who would a) take a picture of her on the toilet, and b)put said picture on a graduation cake (or any cake for that matter). I wonder how that relationship held up after this incident?

Miz Dinah said...

God I hope that's not a chocolate cake! :)

needlewings said...

Nothing like being caught with your pants down. LOL

BlackSea said...

I'm surprises that the bakery accepted this photo for putting on a cake. There should be a way for bakeries to decline photos they deem obscene--such as this one. Bodily functions don't belong in public, least of all on edibles.

Anonymous said...

for all of the people whose minds have been absolutely shattered over the second cake, who's to say that the honoree didn't love it, or even plan it? Or that the people eating the cake didn't totally get the joke and not have any problem at all eating a cake with edible ink that happens to be sprinkled in a pattern to resemble a photograph? Because that's really all it is... little dots of edible ink. It apparently WAS a good idea to the people who ordered and enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous of January 26th - If you had bothered to read ALL the posts before jumping in to defend the s**t cake, you would have come across the post by Blogger Scythemantis who revealed that the "dots" were never enjoyed by anyone. The recipient blessedly never even SAW the cake. It was never picked up. Soooooo, we would have to conclude that someone finally sobered up and realized that putting a photo of someone on a toilet - posed or otherwise - and with a swear word on it - was NOT a good idea.

And if, in some parallel universe, people did "get it" and enjoy it, good for them. I still think it's rubbish and tacky. Am I not allowed to have an opinion? Or are you the Chief of the Opinion Police?

As for people's minds being "shattered" by the sheer bad taste of the cake (no pun intended) - Do you honestly think people went through the rest of the day/week unable to think of anything else with a look of disgust permanently pasted on their faces? Goodness me! It's a CAKE! It's a PICTURE of a cake! Why would anyone be shattered over that? Lord knows we have bigger problems. This site is a pleasant diversion, and sometimes we like to leave/read comments - opinions - without having to deal with a lecture from someone who doesn't even bother to GET the FACTS first. @@

Volleymaniac said...

why would anyone do that, everyone probablt didnt want a piece of the picture, you know, cause.

RazzDazz'n'Pizzazz said...

The thing I'm most curious about is that strange, yellow halo around the man's head. Maybe a Bakery-God who was cursed with a sort of Pinocchio-but-with-a-fat-head thing?

D'OH! And poor Karissa! Can you imagine?
Karissa: Hey, it's graduation! Phew! I passed! Aww, thanks, a surprise party! And a cake-- this is too mu... I thought you deleted that. *deadly glare*

L'Hélène said...

@ Sarah : I love Monthy Pythons too, I also have a twisted sense of humor, but a pic of someone on the toilet on something I'm supposed to put in my mouth is NOT funny. It's totally red-neck/white trash/trailer trash/call it what you want.

Anonymous said...

the first cake looks like 3-d gone wrong... like a horrible hallucinogenic trip...This will be my discouragement from ever doing any kind of hallucinogenics...

Chris said...

Actually, I think we're all missing the deeper surealism here; that's a picture of a guy's head printed ONTO a head. So I imagine he is facing away from us and he has a tatoo of his own face printed on the back of his head. And his jacket's on backwards. Yeah, that's it.

Wow, Jen, how to you DO this every day???

Cupcakes Lady said...

Thanks for ruining me perfectly good breakfast! ha xx

Anonymous said...

"To Anonymous of January 26th - If you had bothered to read ALL the posts before jumping in to defend the s**t cake, you would have come across the post by Blogger Scythemantis who revealed that the "dots" were never enjoyed by anyone. The recipient blessedly never even SAW the cake...."

Well, she probably has now.