Friday, October 31, 2008

Mum's the Word

Friday, October 31, 2008

Wow, I'm almost sad it's Halloween; I have oodles more Halloween Wrecks to share! (So take note, Wreckporters: get your Thanksgiving Wrecks submitted early.)

Let's see, we've covered pumpkins and ghosts and spiders, but I feel like something's missing from our Halloween line up...

OH! I know! This is:


Erm.

Hey, John R.? What'd you say this was again? A mummy? [checking photo again] With a red hair bow? Seriously? Wait - that's a cookie! Does that even count?

Hm, well, let's see what Amanda M. dug up for us.

Amanda thought this was some kind of spiderweb, but my Wreck radar is telling me it was supposed to be a mummy head. It's also alerting me to the fact that this is a dreaded CCC, so we'd best move on.

Ok, here we go: that's actually recognizable. Kudos, Annie D.; I bet you never thought this would be the best looking one, huh? Still, I include it as a base of reference for this next one:


Yep, Stephanie S. reports that this was actually labeled "Mummy Cake". As opposed to "Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake".

And the award for "Least Effort Exerted in Making Overstocked Cakes into Halloween Cakes" goes to:


Like you, I thought that surely this design (found by Amy W.) was a one-store fluke. But then I got this from Jessica K.:

Ack! The smiley face mummies are everywhere! And they're surrounded by nuts!

Still, I don't think any of those Wrecks can compete with what Michael G. uncovered:

Words fail me. The stringy white stuff, the eyeballs, the two fingers...yep, I got nuthin'. Y'all will have to help me out here: what the heck is this? My best guess is a melted mummy, but I'm sure you guys can come up with something better.
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

I love #3 if you're presenting it to someone who just had plastic surgery!

Reverend Shari said...

Kermit the Frog attacked by Killer Shaving Cream.
Seriously, when I was a kid,the big fear on Halloween was to be sprayed with Nair. So maybe it is Kermit sprayed with Nair...except frogs don't have hair...OK I give up.

Unknown said...

Ack! Those foil wrapped eyeballs freak me out. I just know someone is going to bit into one and have some tooth trauma...

Nequam said...

Wow - you know that the green thing (for lack of a better word) is truly awful when you didn't even mention that it's a CCC! Well, at least they managed in making it terrifying for Halloween?

Unknown said...

umm, Witch shaving gone bad?

Anonymous said...

A mummy try to claw its way out of its wrappings?? (It managed to wriggle the hands up close to the face, while still under the bandages.)

Don't forget to note that it's a dreaded (and dreadful) CCC.

-Cindy-

Anonymous said...

The first Wreck reminds me of a commercial from a few years back where a smiling Mr. Clean appeared in various household surfaces and talked to housewives.

It was on TV. Really, it was.

*goes off to eat Halloween candy*

Anonymous said...

I like the mutant crossbreed of a stormtrooper and a ninja turtle best. XD Cheer up, green guy, you're on Cake Wrecks!

Jean E. said...

That last one is Oscar the Grouch in a mummy costume. (Jeez anyone can see that!)

Kameron said...

And to add insult to injury, the last one is a CCC as well!

Anonymous said...

It's the sad, bandagey aftermath of Frankenstein's monster's clash with a mummy. The monster thought he was tough, and that his size would be enough, but the mummy and his ancient ways overpowered the monster. ;)

tony a.k.a. isweatbutter said...

THAT COOKIE TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A OOPS! THAT WAS TURNED INTO A KIND OF CUTE MUMMY. I CAN'T CALL IT A WRECK.

...THAT NINJA TURTLISH THING, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY...

Anonymous said...

The green "mummy" looks an awful lot like "Eddie" the mascot of the metal band Iron Maiden.

Kilroy! said...

Those mummified stock cakes would have looked so much better if they put some effort into it! But seriously, a few strands of white and they call it a mummified cake? Lame!

Last one; looks like someone tried to defeat the mummy by unwrapping it?

Anonymous said...

Well, obviously that last one is an alien that got TP'd, so now it's giving the decorator the finger - twice! And rightly os, I say :-)

Zita from Halifax

Anonymous said...

The green thing is obviously Oscar the Grouch caught in a Spiderweb.

my name? Boo to Yoo

M K Glass said...

I think it was supposed to be some sort of mummy. I didn't ask the baker because I was afraid they'd know I was going to send it to Cake Wrecks LOL

I went back to purchase it for my Halloween party tonight (at a different store) but sadly they didn't have any in stock.

I love that they added those fingers. Very creepy. I suppose it qualifies quite well as a Halloween cake (even though it's a CCC)!

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Maybe that one should be called "Cake Decorator's First Day."

Barb said...

The last cake - the horrid, smushed, green CCC - can only be one thing.

Yep.

It's the remnants of Slimer from Ghostbusters after a run in with the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man (or whatever the heck he was called.) The scary traumatized eyeballs, the splatter of white goo, yep, I can see it now...

Kirsten said...

Was that green one a ninja turtle or something?!

Anonymous said...

LOL! I'd say the last one is a mutant love child of a mummy and the wicked witch of the west. Great post as usual!

Anonymous said...

I think I would call that last one "Frankenstein's Mummy" The fingers are replacing the bolts on his neck, of course.

Tina aka Snupnjake said...

Hey!
I saw the green mummy slightly better done at the same place I found the rasta spiders (they were delicious BTW).

Is there some book that the stores have that they share called "Bad Cakes - how to decorate them?"

Tina

Anonymous said...

Clearly the last one is supposed to be a green snot monster. He's been splattered onto the cake as if picked and flung away, landing on the cake. The stringy white stuff? Maybe he's been sick!

Unknown said...

I think that last one is Cthulhu.

Unknown said...

I vote that it's some sort of mummy frankenstein monster...

Anonymous said...

Oscar the Grouch caught in a spider's web and visibly terrified by the experience. Sad, really.

Soggy Carrot said...

The last one kind of looks like it maybe might could have been an attempt at a mummified Frankenstein's Monster. But, that's all I got. I have no explanation for the fingers.

Amber said...

That last one looks like Slimer from Ghostbusters after he tried to go through the Marshmallow Puff man!

Unknown said...

Did anyone notice that the last one, the freaky green mummy was a CCC???

Ms Unreliable said...

It was only a matter of time before a Storm Trooper and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle realised they were meant for each other.

Unknown said...

I know exactly what that last ccc is. It's little Johnny (dressed as Frankenstein) who got into Dad's shaving cream again.

Anonymous said...

I know what the last one is...

Ya know how Frogger goes "splat" when he gets run over because you're a dolt and misjudged while playing the game? Yeah, it's that; and the bulged eyes back up a flattened Frogger. But then, the local road commission came along and painted new lines on the road, but didn't bother to move the roadkill Frogger first. They just painted the lines over him.

The fingers.... yeah, those are of somebody from the Chinese restraunt in New York state that got shut down for serving roadkill. They were trying to pick up roadkill Frogger to serve him in the stir fry.

Blonde Savant said...

We just had a birthday party at work, and of course there was a hideous pumpkin CCC. I was sad that I have no camera to document it. Then I took a closer look. It wasn't actually cupcakes. IT WAS BROWNIES! It was a Brownie Cupcake Cake! And the brownies were stuck to the board with icing. So now I have a little cupcake-shaped brownie that has icing on the top and the bottom.

C. Beth said...

I think you're being a little harsh. After all, with #1, it really was nice for the decorator to let her 2-year-old experiment with frosting finger painting. It's kind of a warm fuzzy cake, what with all the family involvement in its creation.

John said...

i think that's what you call a I'm-Supposed-To-Decorate-Twenty-Cakes-A-Day-And-This-Is-The-Last-One-And-I'm-Just-Going-To-Use-All-The-Leftover-Shit-That-I've-Been-Using-All-Day-Long cake.

Carrie said...

wow...if you're trying to scare me on halloween you have definately succeeded!!! these have to be some of the most disturbing cakes we've seen all week...I had to cover my 2 year olds eyes!!!

Hi Kooky said...

I find the green eye/finger cake delightfully bizarre. I think he looks horrified at his finger situation. Did he just lose the others? Are they someone else's fingers... that landed on him? Is he confused because they just sprouted out of his side? The poor thing.

Jessica said...

The CCC mummy looks like the E.T. cake from a while back!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's because I'm hungry and haven't eaten breakfast yet, but I actually LIKE all but the last three! Except what's the thing in the bottom right of the first cookie? It looks like a can of spray paint...

Anonymous said...

My 8 year old just walked up and said "Wow. That's a blob of a cake, isn't it?" (Referring to the last one.)

Jennifer Foster said...

Green Oobleck got into the halloween costume bucket? Maybe? Happy Halloween Cakewrecks!

sarah said...

It's a two fingered mutant green alien who's been silly stringed into wide eyed hysterics.

Anonymous said...

I think the last cake is a nuclear zombie!

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

Ugly or not, I want to eat that giant cookie. With a quart of milk and a ridiculously large napkin. If anything, it will put it out of its apparent misery.

Trevor said...

Wait... someone used SugarVeil on that last one and made it look like THAT? I'd have thought that anyone with sugar veil would at least have talent. *Sigh*

Manggy said...

Hmm... I think it's someone's twin growing out of the web between that person's gangrenous index and middle fingers :)

harmzie said...

{sniff} How appropriate! I just stayed up the last two nights until two stitching together bandages on a shirt (and hat & pants) to satisfy my daughter's requirement to be a mummy! (Please hold all bad planning & underestimating time commitments thoughts & comments. I spent every other half-hour kicking myself for same)

Anyway, these beauties have broken through my sleep-deprived haze (no small task) and have given me new hope (lessness) for Halloween! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

The last one? So simple I can't believe you didn't see it right away. It is the deformed love child of the Mummy and Frankenstein's Monster.

Missy said...

Hmm, I think maybe it's a rabid witch who is clawing her way out of her grave before she's choked to death (by what, I don't know. Maybe one of Rasta Spiders or something!)

(I hope this didn't post three times! I keep getting directed to enter a security code, even though I KNOW I typed it correctly each time!)

*Michelle said...

The second one reminds me of Dark Heart from the Care Bears movie!! Wow. I don't even have kids I can blame that knowledge on. Oh well!

Anonymous said...

I believe the smiley face mummy cake #2 has its sides covered in halloween quins, not nuts. I'm not sure which is weirder.

Crystal Chick said...

The last one is the result of Slimer taking on the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.

Anonymous said...

a mutant lettuce facing a worm attack ?

Anonymous said...

Since when do mummies have yellow smiling happy faces?
~Amy B.

Momma J said...

I think the Incredible Hulk finally got so mad he exploded in that last one!

Marianne
www.crochetbymommaj.etsy.com
http://crochetbymommaj.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Kermit the Frog lands face-first in a spider web... where two green slugs have already been caught. And the poor slugs are screaming for their little slimy lives (hence their big gaping mouths). Kermit is so horrified his eyes bug out. It all makes perfect sense, people. (Given the spider cakes we saw the other day, I'd be terrified, too).

Joy said...

I actually thought, "You know, that kinda looks like a TMNT and a storm trooper" before I read your caption. I don't know if that scares me or makes me proud.

arensb said...

I'm pretty sure the last one is Our Noodly Savior, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Or maybe it's supposed to represent an explosion at a factory that makes shaving cream and guacamole. Either one, really.

Mary said...

What's really scary is that I think #3 is actually a left over Easter egg cake base! Looks like they found a spare box of them in the back corner of the freezer.

Anonymous said...

You always put the best thing in the last. *mad giggle*

Anonymous said...

Think the TMNT/Stormtrooper is actually an attempt to recreate Jonathan The Zombie of youtube fame, who, when asked what he thinks about zombies, replied, "I like turtles!"

Rox said...

Ectoplasm covered in silly string.

Amy© said...

Oh my golly, your blog is so much fun! Thank you! :)

LilBit said...

These seriously made me laugh out loud. Too funny. I think that last one might have been Frankenstein losing control of the silly string can.
-Summer

Anonymous said...

I thought the first one was a cat...

Boozy Tooth said...

Here's my critique:

1) Looks like a smear of black mold icing on a giant cookie. Not appetizing or remotely buyable.

2) Melted marshmallow pile

3) Finally a cake with style - even if it's one only a mummy could love. (hehehe)

4) Oscar the Grouch?

5 & 6) Bandaged smiley face cakes? Not Halloweeny at all.

7) Green face with run away Crest toothpaste accents.

Number three is the hands down winner for best wreck - unless of course we are voting for the worst wreck. Then it's a six-way tie.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

my 5 year old son suggested that green thing is a "buggy man" while my 4 year old daughter suggests that it is a "birthday cake bat" (she's currently a bit obsessed with bats).

Anonymous said...

The green thing under the mummy-smileys could very well be the "Flying Spahetti Monster".

http://www.venganza.org/

Carrie Snider said...

Sinking swamp creton reaching for... a web of Cool Whip rope?

Jess said...

Wow -- I made it on Cake Wrecks! I'm so excited! I can't believe they made the smiley mummy face at other stores, too! I will never shop the bakery section in the same way again. I will always have my camera phone at the ready now!!

Ice Cream said...

I can't tell you how dissapointed I am in my local grocery. Every week I scan the cake shelves for a wreck and I get nothing. I did find those dreadlocked muppet spiders but they all looked more cute than wreck. *sigh* At least I know I can count on you to get me my daily cup o' wreck.

Amy.mangos said...

It's the Wicked Witch of the West, bandaged up after her whole Dorthy-induced 'I'm melting!' episode. She had a Chinese finger trap on at the time of said melting, keeping just those two fingers dry (and whole). The eyes are new; tinfoil transplants, maybe?

Anonymous said...

2 fingers... that should be for tequila, not cake.

Aviatrix said...

I was about to type that I kind of like the last one, but then I remembered that this is supposed to be presented as something one would EAT. So I kind of like the last one as artwork, but I would have to pretend I'd just come from the dentist or something if someone offered me any part of it.

Nancy Frye said...

The last thing is obviously a zombie mummy.

Kat said...

I can't believe I have to correct you on this, but it's pronounced "Wreck-dar."

Anonymous said...

My little girl thinks the smiley faces walked through a spiderweb.
She has no idea what the last one is. And why does it have 2 different colored eyes? and so many other why's?

Tara MacDonald said...

I think I know what the last one is... A partially regurgitated alien mummy. And it's a dreaded CCC to boot :)

Angela said...

hm.... interesting for the lack of a better word.

Anonymous said...

Maybe those aren't fingers in that last one. Maybe they're mandibles.

Latitude said...

The last one is the remains of the wicked witch of the west after she melted.

Mary Ellen said...

I know what #7 is!


Freaking AWFUL!

Happy Halloween. Thanks for the laugh!~ I am encouraged that even my worst cake ever is better than these!!

KrazyKapnKarl said...

Oh come on you had 2 chances for awesome puns. You could have used the term "Wreck-dar" and "what the wreck?". Still, I don't know how these cake Wreckorators can sleep at night.

warren said...

Ack! The smiley face mummies are everywhere! And they're surrounded by nuts!

Wielding cameras, no less.

ConglomerateBeauty said...

My first thought on the "Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake" was: Angry Cabbage?

elesa said...

It's a puddle of toxic goo! Actually,that may have been what the puddle looked like after the Wicked Witch of the West melted....

Anonymous said...

the last one looks like Kermit coming out of a not-so top-notch ER after making one joke too many about Miss Piggy's weight

Anonymous said...

the last one is OBVIOUSLY an alien who got in a silly string fight.

*mutters* shaving cream? hah...shaving cream is fluffier.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I don't know how I could love Cake Wrecks more. Please, please never leave us--I've held too many jobs in bakeries with ugly cakes to be denied this blog.

hamburke said...

My 7 year old said Frankenstein (well, the monster, really for the book geeks out there) covered in bandages. I just said "yuck!"

Anonymous said...

Maybe the smiley face mummies are from Wal*Mart, the logo and all?

lawnajo said...

I asked my 5 year-old about the first one, "What does that look like?" He said, "A blueberry pie!"
I too, noticed that the last one is a CCC.

writtenwyrdd said...

That last one: Oscar the Grouch having a shaving cream accident (due to the unfortunate loss of all but 2 fingers).

The smiley face mummy cake? That's just bizarre.

Anonymous said...

Winner, Brad! I think that is Eddie from Iron Maiden!

Gaston Lacombe said...

That last one, the green thing, is so incredibly obvious!! It is the Wicket Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz just as she was almost all melted. Remember: "I'm melting! I'm melting", and she was green, right? That has to be it...

The Creeper said...

That last mummy is so jealous of the good looking mummy that he's gone all green as he flips him the double-bird.

Pissed off storm trooper/ninja turtle crossbreed... classic!

Norma said...

The 4th one down actually looks like an attempt at the Iron Maiden mascot, "Eddie," who's sort of a mummified dude...those look like his eyes...but those "bandaged" smiley faces are soooooo bad!

Anonymous said...

My goodness.
...
I have nothing to say to that.
Wow.
-Deb
PS: My verification was "inthe!" We have achieved real words!!!

FreedomFirst said...

Wow! Ummm, let's see: A possessed lime covered with maggots? Or a toilet-papered green jello monster?

Anonymous said...

"Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake".

LOL, I love you XDDD<3

Anonymous said...

I bet the Smiley Face mummies are for the "Watchmen" fans out there.

Come to think of it, I bet a Rorschach cake would be pretty easy... and hilarious!

Katie said...

Are you sure that's not ketchup all over the first one?

Anonymous said...

The last one is a mummy that went moldy.
The first one is a frazzled Halloween cat, and I think it's cute.

noricum said...

Hmmm... that last one might be the FSM (Flying Spaghetti Monster) getting it on with Cthulu...

robyn said...

Umm...the Incredible Hulk, "that got squot by a tractor tire" (in the perfectly-said words of Stephen King)

evil cake lady said...

imagine my delight when, after reading this post, i venture off to my local grocery store and see IN PERSON that last cake!! although i do not believe in the CCC, i had to buy it. mine was even more wrecky than the one you posted! awesomely good times, and a sugar coma to boot.

Bedlam said...

those are some great cakes, I cannot figure this out, but it has fingers.

WakeGrace said...

shouldnt the last one at least get bonus points ( as sad as it looks) for not using a pile of icing for the eyes but instead using foiled candy? although, since the eyeballs are two different colors i guess we should take some points away. so it all evensout i suppose. hahah

Anonymous said...

That last one...I would say..it was a normal child mummy who was asked to walk home from school because the mommmy mummy(ha...funny) needed to get her paper re curled for her big date...well hes licking a lollipop crossing the stree(you know how kids do) and out of no where dracula in his F 150 comes down the street at 105 miles per hour becuase hey its sunlight and hes in pain but he needs to make a withdrawl from the blood bank and SMASH...we get a smushed child mummy lost 8 fingers any sense of form...oh and as for the bakery...well you dont even wanna know what happened to them..haha

Sincerely written,
Jessi H

PiECE of CaKE DESiGNS said...

wow, thats just bizarre! I don't think this person thought through the design very long and just went for it!!

Bobbi & Noe said...

It just shocks me that these are made by actual professionals! I think my kids can do way better than these~

Miss Sunshine said...

That last one is oddly endearing to me.

Sheri said...

Halloween sure does make for Wrecktastic material! I loved all your Halloween-themed entries, but the smiley face mummy was just so--wrong?--that it made me laugh out loud.

Keep up the great work.

Anonymous said...

#3 looks like a mummified Homer Simpson...

Anonymous said...

That last cake is obviously the wicked witch of the west after she was melted and slugs began walking across her, bubbling because of the high salt concentration in her goop.
~ iamkat

Sarah said...

The cookie one looks like someone sat on it.

Will said...

I say it's the wicked witch of the west.... after she had melted, Dorothy put some bandages on her..but, to no avail...well, you get the picture.

Anonymous said...

That middle green one is awesome. If it wasn't marked as 'mummy' I'd buy it just for the ability to ask people 'what do you think this cake is?'

M K Glass said...

... I have to tell you all... the last one, which I submitted, was not a one-time anomaly. The bakery that made that made a BUNCH of them -- there must have been about 10 of them available for purchase when I snapped that pic. I didn't have the foresight to ask the bakers what it was supposed to be. Perhaps I will show them the picture I took and ask them next time I am in there...

Stephanie said...

Oh, I think the bottom one is easy. Obviously, Igor got hungry, and he went out and ate a frog. Lacking fiber in his diet, he noticed that some teenager's had TP-ed the laboratory, so Igor downed the TP as well. He finished his meal with too much candy...then the nausea set in. Poor Igor projectile-vomitted his entire ill-advised dinner onto a lab table, where it congealed into an entirely new monster that will soon terrorize the world.

Emily Kline said...

I must note that the last cake is also one of the dreaded CCC cakes.
XD

Anonymous said...

The Mummy with the foil covered chocolate blue eyes could totally double for a Rayman Raving Rabbid if it only had ears....*not to self ask for mummy cake for birthday next year and apply ears

celticchrys said...

ok, my theory on the green mess is this: The Wicked Witch had just summoned a Mummy to attack someone, when they threw a bucket of water on her, and she melted, falling on top of the mummy, who was banished, but some of his bandages for stuck in the goo.... ? How does that sound? Hideous. truly hideous.

Anonymous said...

I think the bandaged smiley faces are hilarious! Makes me think someone kncoked around the walmart icon a few too many times!

Cupcakes Lady said...

Yeh, the last one does look like Slimer from Ghostbusters after he tried to go through the Marshmallow Puff man! Good call. ;) xx

Katiedid said...

I am rather late to the party but I have to say that the second cake looks like the pokemon Tangela!