Friday, October 17, 2008

DAA-Dum

Friday, October 17, 2008

DAA-dum

DAA-dum

DaDumDaDumDaDumDaDum...





Beware! It's the Shark-Attack-Cupcake-Mountain!

Er.

Hey, Guys, "cupcake-mountain?" Really? I mean, it's supposed to be the ocean, so wouldn't "waterfall" or something be better? Not that sharks could very well dismember people in a waterfall, of course.

What's that? No, I am NOT missing the point. I'm just saying that a certain level of realism might have aided the overall design...

Right, shutting up now.


Me: "Knock-knock."
Rose F.: "Who's there?"
Me: "Candy-gram."



UPDATE: It's true: this was not a pro-made cake. I made the exception because so many of you sent it in, and I thought it was funny. Not poorly-made, mind you; just funny!
autumnblaze said...

I think I like that there are only feet and hands strewn about on the cupcakes. Apparently sharks find them too bony and not meaty enough, so they reckless disgard them all over the cupcake mountain. Also, the sharks teeth are pointed at quite the unusual angles... maybe making feet and hands difficult to chew.


I hope I get a dismembered foot on my cupcake... YUMMY!

LauraH said...

Love the vintage SNL.
Chevy FTW!

smalazzo-miller said...

Me: "Knock-knock."
Rose F.: "Who's there?"
Me: "Mailman."

Kat said...

I laughed so hard I almost choked. My dh gets such a kick out of the land shark thing even ou 3yr old does it.

Kenya Starflight said...

You've got a point... and for the record, that's a really messed-up looking shark.

Cupcakes covered in bloody oozing body parts... if that's not a wreck, I don't know what is...

Valarie said...

Now, maybe I'm just being too literal (I get accused of that at work often), but IF these people were attacked by the shark, wouldn't the shark have EATEN the feet and hands first rather than leaving just that? I mean, how much effort would it take the shark to eat everything EXCEPT the hands and feet?
I'm just saying.
Oh, and the teeth are strange. Like outside his mouth.

Poetikat said...

Quint: When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'.

Aaaaaaaahh!!!!(that's me, running from this cake.)

Interesting, Jen. I posted on my Blasts From the Past Blog about "JAWS" just recently.

http://cultclipsgenx.blogspot.com/2008/08/dont-go-in-water.html

Kat

P.S. Love the SNL reference.

Karen said...

Looks like these sharks don't eat hands.

Stephanie said...

Surely this was made by a home baker. Not a professional bakery...really? And please, tell me it was not meant for children.

I just can't see how blood and body parts should ever come up when decorating a baked good.

Puddle Jump Photo said...

"I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?"

Thank you for posting this and reminding me of the genius that is Landshark.

TK said...

I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.

Leslie said...

Umm.
I think this is the first time a cake on your blog has truly left me speechless. And...disturbed. Not by the dismembered body parts or anything...I'm a horror movie fan so I'm pretty de-sensitized to that stuff.
There's just something about this cake that's like having my mental processes run full speed into a brick wall and I'm not sure what it is.

Michelle said...

Ewwww, someone has a sick sense of humor!

Rondette said...

ugh. That is one UGLY pile of blue badness.

Pickle'sMom said...

My seven-year-old thinks this is awesome. Especially the bloody amputated hands and feet. But a mountain? I never did understand those cupcake stand things...

horriblelicenseplates said...

I am going to have nightmares about that shark's mouth.

Nicole said...

LOVE the bloody hands. Classy.

Lalas said...

I actually quite like this... *scuttles off in shame*

Allison said...

oh dear. there is blood on that "cake". aack!

Stephanie H said...

It's just wrong on so many levels...

Jessica Rabbit said...

Whoever gets one of those sharks is going to have a hard time clearing their mouth of all that frosting... O_o

ad said...

Why don't the sharks eat the hands and feet? Too bony?

Anonymous said...

What do you suppose the occasion was? Meeting of the American Bar Association? San Jose Sharks party? Jets vs Sharks rumble?

hmm....

Fleeting said...

Those "teeth" make the shark look more like a baleen whale, actually... Beware to phytoplankton and zooplankton alike!!

Are those random dismembered body parts actually edible? If so, I think that makes the "cake" slightly awesome... I can image some 11 year old boy getting a kick out of this

joyce said...

Eeeewwwwwuuu. Canabalism. Just in time for Halloween.

Anonymous said...

Just in time for Halloween! Or, a Medical Examiner's birthday party? Or..

Hey, I saw this on the side bar. Diaper cakes? Eww.

http://www.smarter.com/se--qq-diaper%2Bcakes.html

Amy B.

Caitlin said...

ahahaha LOVE the old school SNL reference!

Anonymous said...

Love the severed feet!! This is an awesome site!

Erin said...

Ew! Are bloody stumps really necessary???

Kristy said...

I had to giggle. Apparently that is one picky shark who refuses to eat the hands and feet of it's victims. Must not be enough meat to be worth his time..... Not to mention, why hasn't someone closed that beach to swimmers? Just this cupcake mountain alone shows at least 5 carnaged bodies.

Anonymous said...

My only question would be, where are the rest of the severed bodies? Do these sharks just have a very discerning palate or do they eat the bodies and save the severed hands and feet to show bloody proof of their conquest?

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!! This was a GREAT way to start my day...thanks for all the wrecks, and I love the SNL reference!

Sara K.

Laura and Tom said...

The severed feet and hands are very tasteful.

-Laura

www.fromuktous.blogspot.com

wpb30635 said...

In a word. EWWWW

tellicherry said...

I'm sure Chevy and John would approve!

writtenwyrdd said...

Not enough people reference the Land Shark skit, IMO.

I rather liked this one because it's plain silly. Gore and cake, always a good idea.

Anonymous said...

Wow... Can you imagine getting the cupcakes with the displaced, bloody hands. I will never eat a cupcake again.

T2

mbs said...

this thing rules

Moose Nuggets said...

Did they make the dismembered body parts?


Or are they available for sale?

Trevor said...

So is this better or worse than a cupcake cake? Inquiring minds want to know!

Yeah, not a fan of the bloody stumps!

Nat said...

Hey, I've seen those wire cupcake trees for sale. I thought they were cool. However... the Jaws cupcake tree is quite wrecktastic.

Peggy said...

I have got to do that for one of my kids! At least there isn't a pound of icing per cupcake :D

aj2x said...

The more I looked at this, the funnier it got! Wreckier too.

Amanda said...

ROFLMAO LOVE the SNL reference!

thisbagisnotatoy said...

I suppose I'm not the first commenter today to admit that I just like this cupcake mountain and have no good reason -- well, part of my reason is that it's aiming for goofy and hitting the mark. Almost meta-what-Cake-Wrecks-doesn't-like-about-cupcake-cakes. And the way it's arranged kind of brings to to mind what must be the disarray and confusion of a feeding frenzy . . . okay, I'll stop now.

Ms Unreliable said...

Ok Timmy, you get the big shark because you've been good. And you Dana? You get a bloody leg. Yes well, that's what happens when you draw on the walls. There are consequences!

Anonymous said...

Even Chevy Chase would shudder!

Gayle said...

Screaming with laughter. I remember Candy Gram! My brother used to come and knock on my door and say, "Candy Gram." LOL! Thank you, Jen, for putting a smile on my face this morning.

Lou said...

Apparently sharks don't find hands and feet appetizing?

Also, hands and feet are extremely buoyant..

You learn something new everyday!

sarahbella said...

AWFUL! lol.

Anonymous said...

What??? Why??? Seriously, do we know why this cake was commissioned? Tell me it's not a wedding cake.

Anonymous said...

That is an amazing reference to Classic SNL. Nice. I giggled my arse off.
Julia

Heather said...

You seriously just posted my worst nightmare realized in icing. If anyone gave me these I would run away screaming!

BTW, I would have called it a cupcake wave (wave of horror or death...you choose).

Sister Raven said...

Jen - I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this entry, especially the last lines. I think I broke something trying not to guffaw out loud (as I'm at work, and don't want to be busted). You consistently make my day with your witty cake commentary.

As far as today's cake-y monstrosity goes, I'm wondering if I'm the only one who finds the severed limbs on the cupcakes to be rather creepy.

What's Her Face said...

I just threw up in my mouth.

I think the red icing for blood is what made this worse than a baby shooting out of it's mother's tummy, I mean as distrubing as it was at least it left the blood out of it.

Anonymous said...

This is disgusting. Who thought severed limbs would be appetizing?

Jen B.

V. Nicharico said...

Oh that's just bad....
I don't even think there's words to describe how bad....

Baya said...

Perhaps a surfboard with a bite out of it, or a beachball, or some tiny flipflops could be added? For the realism thing, I mean.

BabelBabe said...

ok, i kinda love this one, even as i acknowledge its wreckiness.

i thought i was the only crazy still referencing that skit.

Anonymous said...

Ah crap! My cupcake doesn't have any bloody hands or feet on it, or 1/2 a pound of shark icing...I got gypped.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Now I know what I want for MY birthday!

Robyn said...

"Candy gram from whom?"

That is quite possibly the most awesome-awful cupcake mountain-waterfall-monstrosity ever. On one hand, I completely appreciate the theme. Who doesn't love carnage on a cupcake right? But it would look infinitely better on a cake.

Cases in point
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dulcie/1577712432/
http://www.coolest-birthday-cakes.com/shark-picture.html

Sure not the best cakes ever, but not bad for homemade.

Charly said...

I just don't even know what to say...

Anonymous said...

I just saw this recently somewhere. Hmmm...I don't remember where. But, I loved it then and I love it now. This is a very silly cupcake ensemble and I think it was meant to be.

Jennifer said...

I'm still laughing about your comments, Jen. "LANDSHARK!" I do have to say that the idea of the cake is awesome, but the execution, not so much.

Accidental housewife said...

"Your not the candygram your that pesky land shark aren't you?"

Um NO! Just NO! Or as my friend says PHAIL>

Jessica said...

I wonder if they used the rule of thumb. Or arm. Or head.

*Michelle said...

First of all - creepy. Second of all - whats with the shark's looking rabid? I know their teeth tend to be crazy but those look like they are foaming at the mouth!

Becky said...

Yummy!! The idea of eating torn off hands and feet just makes me want to dive in (pun intended)

Becky

Tracy O said...

Man, the old SNL was sooooo much better!

"Just a dolphin, ma'am."

Tracy O

jdsmylover said...

I feel sorry for all the Barbie and Ken dolls missing their hands and feet :(

FrazzMom said...

Oh I can hear the kiddies fighting over those cupcakes now...

Kid #1
"I want the one with the bloody hand!"

Kid #2
"No I WANT THE ONE WITH THE BLOODY HAND!!!"

Kid #3
"I want the shark!"

LOL! It beats fighting over those frosting roses any day!!!

Racheyll said...

Congratulations on best humor blog
from bloggers choice awards

Brianna McCarthy said...

This one's a head-scratch inducing concept for me.
Wrong in a really funny, sort of disturbing way.
The sharks' jacked-up grills are the best part!

janet said...

Well, at least it's not a cupcake cake.

Chris said...

This would pair nicely with Marcus' beach/tsunami cake.

Chris

phillygirl64 said...

I'm a sick enough puppy that I think this is funny...and I have one of those cupcake stands

I think of the SNL skit when I see that Swiffer commercial of the mop trying to "get back together" with the housewife - when the (pathetic)flowers don't work, he sends a candygram...rofl

Shelley said...

What in the name of all that's...errr bloody? I'm just dying to hear the back story on this one.

four little blessings said...

Hee hee... candy gram..... "Just a dolphin, Ma'am." I love that cake-ish creation.... pass the hands and feet, please. Blech!

Anonymous said...

I'm with the anonymous who posted at 10:31 about the uneven distribution of, ahem, goodies among the cupcakes. I'm trying to distract myself from the bloody horror by focusing on potential arguments over why Kiddie A gets a heck of a lot more frosting than Kiddie B.

Redd said...

I fall in the "I think this is hillarious" catagory. The concept, anyway. The actual exicution (no pun intended) is quite wrecktastic.

Beth said...

I'm changing every single bit of wedding planning right now (even though it's a week away) so I can have a beach wedding and use this "cake".

That would be hilarious.

TexPatriate said...

I can't say more than has already been said *except* I believe the hands and feet were created from a polymer clay mold. There's one specifically designed just to make hands and feet and these look suspiciously like those designs.

Alix said...

Nothing says Happy Birthday, or Bon Voyage, or Congratulations on the New Baby like a shark attack cupcake mountain replete with tiny severed body parts encircled with red gel icing. I especially like how the sharks breach from one cupcake to the other with such realism, it's almost like an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kindom! Thrilling!

Emily J said...

If you kind of squint, the shark looks like a bunny. Honestly, that's the first thing I thought when I saw it. Perhaps it's the evil, man-eating rabbit from Monty Python?

sues2u2 said...

This is totally for a boy! He's the only one who could even attempt to love the body parts "floating" around in cupcake hell!

On a positive note, I love how the decorator "caught" the ocean in the cupcakes. Kudos!

Anonymous said...

The rest of the bodies are obviously inside the sharks. That's why the sharks are so large. Can't wait for someone to cut into them and find a torso.

Marcy said...

I'm sorry, there should never. ever be BLEEDING LIMBS on any sort of a cake-ish creation.

I almost dressed my 8 month old as the land shark for halloween this year. I think we'll wait for next year, when he can "get it" and have fun trying to eat people. ; )

Dani said...

More evidence that the shark has been set up to take the fall. There is no way he could eat people with the shape his gums are in. That is some serious swollen gingivitis.

chefann said...

I think it needs one of those little plastic clown heads "floating" on one cupcake, just to be completely terrifying.

Sari Everna said...

As part of studying for my Bio 204 exam(vertebrates, yay!), I'm going to explain why those sharks' mouths aren't wrong.

One, fish can have teeth anywhere in and around the mouth, including into the throat and outside the mouth(sawfish, anyone?).

Two, sharks have very kinetic jaw suspension, so they can swing the jaw out thanks to articulation with what was the second gill arch(the first is, of course, the jaws themselves).

Thank you for reading. This geeky post has now ended.

tony a.k.a. isweatbutter said...

I can't even lie... I would totally pay actual American currency for that! I THINK THAT"S AWESOME!!! (and the snl line makes it even batter!)

FreedomFirst said...

Aaaagggghhhhh! That is disgusting! The theme, AND the lack of skill!

CeCe said...

That's just gross.

Todd, Jen, Shannon, Bona, Elnora, Olivia said...

*knock knock*

"Who is it?"
"Mrs. ahrlsberg?"

Anonymous said...

I know for a fact that this was made by a home baker (for an adult party).

So really you shouldn't have even posted this cake.

Kelly said...

Your candy gram comment made this post even better!

Crochet by Momma J said...

Nothing says eat me like a severed hand!

Marianne
www.crochetbymommaj.etsy.com
crochetbymommaj.blogspot.com

Mella said...

I hope I don't have do eat a dirty feet (or one with a certain cheesy smell)

whirlwind180 said...

This is my favorite cake wreck EVER.

MagsP said...

Nothing says "birthday," like bloodied, severed appendages.

Calantha said...

Wrecky because it looks so slapdash. But I still want the cupcake in front with the shark on it. Yummy!

Anonymous said...

I also know the blog from which this came and it's definitely not a professional baker. She's a food blogger and would probably be devastated to see her cupcakes here.

jess said...

Caaan-dy gram for Mongo! Now I REALLY like you.
I agree with Valerie!

JAMIE'S CREW said...

At first glance I was thinking "What the hell?"

LOVED the SNL references. Fun!

Rebecca said...

At first glance I also thought it was bunnies and I instantly thought of Monty Python. I think it is funny. However I don't think those sharks are solid icing. The frosting used wouldn't be able to hang off the edge of the cupcake. I'm going to guess it's something more like a cut twinkie, then frosted to make the shark. It has a twinkie shape to it, and that would be a lot easier than trying to form a mass of buttercream to stay perched over like that.

alicia policia said...

This 'cake' is hilarious!

But I don't think this decorator is a professional decorator.

I saw this a while back on the CRAFT blog, which posts a lot of DIY projects. So I think this being on cake wrecks may be a little unfair to the decorator.

And obviously the hands and feet are gummy body parts, put out for halloween. In which case, I think it's an genius use of candy.

Anyway, I would totally love to have a severed-body-parts-jaws-shark-attack-cake! Blood icing -- bring it on!

But then, hey, what do I know? I put a hairy chested Tom Selleck on a cake...

alicia policia said...

Ok this is not a professional cake... It's by a hobbyist, and it's even from a cupcake book:
http://www.amazon.com/There-Cupcake-Yummy-Recipes-Occasions/dp/0971793565

You really should take this entry down!

Jen said...

Alicia P, chill, girl. I didn't say it was an ugly cake, and I admitted it's not professional. Can't I post funny cakes from time to time?

Tubbs said...

Squints eyes...tilts head to one side... Nope, can't see anything wrong with it. Love it. Maybe you have to be the mother of boys to understand why anyone would love this cake.

jelo said...

This cupcake mountain should be titled "Scene from the U.S.S. Indianapolis". There, I've out tackied the Wreck.

I actually really like this, and would totally dive into those cupcakes.

BigTips said...

It's pretty damn funny!

Anonymous said...

chefann said...
I think it needs one of those little plastic clown heads "floating" on one cupcake, just to be completely terrifying.

OMG - THAT is truly terrifying, but would be hysterical!

Yarnhog said...

What...um...event do you suppose that cake was for?

Heide said...

I love this! Then again, I'm rather strange.

Anonymous said...

I love the crudeness of this piece. I think it is great! Pass me one with a severed foot!

Anonymous said...

I am the baker of these cupcakes. I'm not a professional baker as you can tell by the lame looking sharks. But the waves on the cupcakes and the candy molded hands and feet were perfect looking.

Bear in mind that I made them as a joke for an adult only party at a retirement community. Yes, that's right, I'm someone's grandma. And I think I still have a pretty good kick-ass sense of humor. For those of you grossed out ... lighten up.
For those of you who thought these were funny ... great. My work here is done.

Anonymous said...

It's me, the shark lady again. I forgot to give Alicia Policia a big thank you for sticking up for me. Let me repeat ... I am not George Bush. Oh wait, that's what what's his name said not me. I remember now, I said that I am not a professional baker. But for a nonprofessional I sure am causing quite the stir. Wait until I tell all the old folks at the clubhouse. They will die laughing. Ha ha ... my old lady sense of humor.

Mad Izatie said...

Hey, next time I'm having a Jaws marathon this is definitely the stuff i'm serving.

andie said...

Shark lady, I LOVE these cupcakes. I think they're really well done -- and absolutely hysterical.

And I love how the sharks are lunging from one cupcake to the next. Very cool!

BrokeMom said...

Took a minute of staring at it, and then i cracked up. I want one with a foot.

monster said...

Uh, yeah, that's fnot funny.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

It is funny.

AmberSwan said...

I know I shouldn't... It's so wrong... I just can't help it...

I love this tower-o-cupcakes. I want it for my next party.

sharkiepatronus said...

What I find random is that so many people think this cupcakey masterpiece should be reserved for 11 year old boys. On my next birthday I want these cupcakes! I am a Girl! And its been a long time since I was eleven...

They are not gross or horrifying, They are full of AWESOME!

I love the blog and have even got by boss hooked on it!

Stacey

Glory von Hathor said...

I think that's good work for a non-pro. I'd be fascinated to know more of the story behind the theme that generated this cake choice at the retirement centre.

Shark Lady Grandma with the dark sense of humour scores plus points on the following grounds:

a) It's not a 'cupcakecake'.
b) It's way below the line of the ultimate in gross-out, inedible, messing with your mind cakes, the kitty litter cake.
c) It's not covered in roses.
d) Nothing looks like a penis.
e) No babies or pregnant ladies died or were injured in the eating of this cake.

Congrats on the award!

Jennifer said...

Poor Marcus!!

Etiquette Bitch said...

while i think it's sort of cute, and well executed, further inspection makes me say, "who would want to eat a cupcake with a bloody, bitten-off hand on it?"

rrr said...

What exactly is the purpose of this bloody cupcake thing?
Are they celebrating survival? If so hurrah for not being hung up on it....if not??? I don't get it.

Ashley said...

Ew...dismembered body parts! Not edible.

=Tamar said...

The cupcake tower could represent the rogue wave that sank the boat. Just thinking.

Amydeanne said...

hey i've got that book that has the "how to make those" .. funny it doesn't include the severed limbs lol

Meghan said...

I saw several add this, but this is from Hello, Cupcake! which is a totally cute and easy-to-use book. That said -- the book says nothing about severed limbs, which I think might frighten my 2 year old into never getting into the water again. Plus, who ever thought a shark-mountain was a good display idea?

Erin said...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I wouldn't even eat this.

Anonymous said...

Aside from the brilliantly bizarre cupcake shark attack mountain, I LOVE that you used an excerpt from one of my favourite SNL skits. I had no idea so many people remembered it until I tried to find a clip.

Taffy McClure

Anonymous said...

hillarious I LOVE IT!

ACL said...

Wow... I never thought I'd see the aftermath of the Indianapolis in cake form...

I'm torn between horror & amusement.