Monday, October 13, 2008

Like THIS, Not Like THAT

Monday, October 13, 2008

Fellow Cake lovers, I've come to a crisis of conscience.

You all know my stance on cupcake-cakes, and it's a stance that I thought nothing, no matter how delightfully sugar-encrusted, could change.

Then, Wreckporter Iliea S. sent me this photo:


And I have to admit, my friends, I am torn. Torn, like an old sweater! You see, yes, this is a cupcake cake. Yes, it is that crime-against-nature shade of blue, destined to stain, well, everything. By all rights I should treat this "cake" with contempt and move on.

And yet... and yet... I LIKE IT! I really do! I think the googly eyes are adorable! I even caught myself fantasizing about making this for John's birthday in a few weeks! ACK!

There, I said it. [shifty eyes] Now I feel like I need to go to cake confession or something.

Ah, but this post wouldn't be a complete without a Wreck, would it? So if I can't bring myself to label the above CCC a Wreck, I'll just have to go with...

This one!


Woohoo! Now, here the world has returned to its natural order, 'cuz this sucker is as Wrecktastic as CCCs come. Are those side wings supposed to be jowls, or arms? Huh. [head tilt] Well, considering there are cookies impaled in them, I'm going to have to guess 'arms'.

Now, those cookies in the middle - are those supposed to be lips, or is Cookie Monster just choking to death? I mean, overall he does kind of have that death-throes look about him, doesn't he? Still, I wouldn't even want to guess what the white icing in the middle is supposed to be - teeth? Foam? (Ewww.)

And while I'm at it, I really should throw these guys in:

It's a whole host of choking cookie monsters! And Kate S., I DO see the difference, I really do.

And look at this: apparently there are lots of decorators out there who have bad childhood memories of Mr. Monster:

Not only do these guys have a pleading look of terror on their faces, they also have their mouths stitched...open? Wait, that can't be right. What is that, then, a mustache? Oh, and would you please get a load of the icing to cupcake ratio? I mean, daaaang.

Sonya G., did you put them out of their misery?
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Looks like Cookie Monster has the same plastic surgeon as Melanie Griffith & Meg Ryan!

Thistledew Farm said...

I was hoping you liked the first ccc - I thought it was cute but was to embarrassed to admit it....the other's though - need a blow torch...stand back cause there will be a sugar explosion!

quinn said...

I think the second cake began life as a teapot cake.
Then, something happened.

Liz said...

Please, please, please tell me that the price on the 3rd picture is for a different cake...If any one paid more than $1 for these 'montrosities' they need to be reconsidering their personal expenditure during the current economical state.

Love the blog...gonna have to find some english cake wrecks for you soon!

Tracy P. said...

The last one makes me think "If Tim Burton created Cookie Monster"

gastronomeuse said...

I have to admit, I like the "choking Cookie Monster" sno-ball-esque cupcakes. I think they're adorable. And I think the Elmo ones next to them are even MORE adorable. Sorry, Jen. :)

The first CCC is very cute. Well-executed and the "random" placement of the half-broken cookies is uber-sweet.

Okay, that's enough hyphens for one morning.

Reverend Ramona said...

I didn't think the tray of Cookie Monster cupcakes looked that bad (although I wouldn't want to eat one), but maybe I was quickly brainwashed by the subliminal advertising on the sign behind the cookie cupcake cult: "You Will See the Difference," and all those google eyes staring at me...

lois said...

I made my son a Cookie Monster cake for his second birthday. When the cake was revealed he began sobbing uncontrollably and shrieking "No eat Cookie, NO EAT COOKIE!!" The poor child thought I had murdered Cookie Monster and served his head up on a platter. I thought I had scarred him for life. Fortunately, he is now a reasonably well-adusted college freshman.

Carm said...

You had convinced me that cupcake cakes are a hideous ton of frosting weighing down small fluffed up cakes but the Cookie Monster is gorgeous!! Kudos to the baker!! :D Love your writing style... ur little puns & jokes make me giggle...

Suzyhomemaker said...

Thank you for my morning chuckle in a computer lab :)

Amber said...

Oh, I do like that first one as well. It's sloppy enough to be like the "real" cookie monster!

I just hope that cookie that has the "bite" out of it was a fake bite!

horriblelicenseplates said...

It's amazing how 3 of these cookie monsters have the "terror eyes". I always felt a little sad for cookie monster though because I knew those cookies never reached his puppet stomach. Just crumbs everywhere.

slythwolf said...

I find the Elmo ones (visible to the right in the penultimate photo) to be freaking adorable, however.

Brianna & Matt said...

i LOVE the first one! But the rest are just dreadful! The first one is just so-cookie-monster-ishly cute that it makes up for it being a CCC!

Cecilia said...

:D

Princeton McKinney said...

The first one's okay, I'm not in love with so much blue-ness, but CM must be blue.

The second one kinda makes me seasick because of the angle the photo was taken, so I can't really look at it too much.

I would totally eat those CC's in the third picture, and run from those in the last pic. They're kinda scary.

Deborah Godin said...

I almost choked on my own cookie reading the comment from courteous chihuahua! And this whole choking theme is most unsettling. I just couldn't get my mind's eye to stop envisioning the complete scenario...giving the heimlich to that cookie guzzling cake! I was wearing my favorite white cardigan at the time. Oh the humanity!

Mary-Lynn said...

I like the third picture (and the Elmo ones). *slinks away in shame*

Sarah {SCS: Sairabee} said...

I *heart* the first cake! I actually made some cookie monster cupcakes of my own for my son's first birthday. They're not professional, but I think they're better than the ones you posted! :) Check it out:
http://scrampinmama.blogspot.com/2007/06/cookie-monster-cupcakes.html

Jennifer said...

I'm not a fan of the choking cookie monsters, but I have to admint, their elmo neighbors are pretty adorable. I may have to make some of those.

CoyoteLaughing said...

Hm, I do like the first one, despite the blue-poo inducing frosting. But you are right, the last ones look disturbing. Isn't there some kind of quality control that checks whether or not the baked goods will traumatize the children they're intended for?
And that sign behind the tray of cupcakes - "You Will See the Difference" - does it seem kind of ominous to you? I feel like I'm about to be hypnotized, or something.

Anonymous said...

i like that the first one has the cookie crumbs on his face like when he eats them.


It seems that with the individual CM cupcakes, the stores just wanted to find an excuse to add a cookie to the cupcake to charge extra!

i also agree - the elmo cupcakes are cute (though would we know they were elmo without the CM next to them?)

Ron and Jessica said...

What did Meatloaf sing? "1 out of 3 ain't bad."?

Still I think this is a lesson for you to be able to see that even though all mOnstrosities are CCC's, not all CCC's are monstrosities.

RaisinCookies said...

I love Cookie Monster, but the icing to cake ratio of any of those cakes makes my teeth ache. I couldn't bring myself to eat any of them.

And the blue mouth for years afterwards? Ew!

Anonymous said...

That first Cookie Monster CCC is adorable! (Don't feel bad Jen, there are exceptions to every rule). But I about peed myself laughing at the others! They should be titled Death By Cookie.

Anonymous said...

I say this with love, but the furrier of the muppets have a tendency to be a little matted and look rough around the edges.

Cupcake cakes look rough around the edges, so it's a good match.

Aaron of Minneapolis said...

I like the first one too (the word "COOOO-KIEEE!!" definitely comes to mind :-) ), but yah, the rest are definitely Cookiesaurus wrecks. As for the third pic: Ouch. I hope the $9.99 refers to something else in that display case!

Poultrygeist said...

Hee! I agree, that first cookie monster is absolutely adorable. And you know, all the really best rules have exceptions. So you could just say this is an exception that proves the rule.

rebekah said...

I just literally laughed out loud--at work no less! Totally busted.

Anyway, this was an awesome post, thank you for the laughs.

I especially liked the wording of "a whole host of cookie monsters..."

Keep up the awesome work!

Amy Ellen said...

Okay I love the top one. He is way too cute!!!
Amy

Elmo said...

poor crucified cookie monster!

Mechelle said...

I love your blog! I come here to have my daily dose of laughter. Thanks, and keep it comin' :)

Kansas girl said...

Well, the first one is okay, I guess... but as with the Van Gogh one, I can't help thinking it would be even better made from a normal cake.

One thing all the Cookie Monsters have going for them: Cake AND cookie. That has to be at least a partial win.

Alix said...

So I wake up a little depressed this morning and shuffle over to my computer - coffee in hand - to survey all that is wrecktastic this blue Monday. Little did I know how blue it was...

Nothing cheers like Cookie Monster cupcake cakes gone wrong (and right - I agree the first example is adorable). Suddenly, all is right with the world. Thank you Doctor Jen. You are so much cheaper than Prozac.

SARA said...

I like how the picture of the individual cupcakes with cookies shoved in them *the first one from Kate S.* has a sign that says "PIE 9.99" above it. whaaaa????

Ronnica said...

Those last ones? Yum, yum, yum! Too bad the cookies are chocolate chip as they ought to be, or that would be pretty much the perfect cupcake. (Can you tell I like frosting?)

evil cake lady said...

that first one is well done, considering it is a cupcake cake. which is my way of saying that i am still morally opposed to them.

Katie said...

"C" is for "CakeWreck" and that's good enough for me!

Mari said...

Wow, I think the frosting-to-cupcake ratio on those last ones has to be around 50-50....

Susan said...

I have to say, I think the first one is cute too but the rest.........please SAVE ME from the cookie monster nightmare that I fell into!!!!!

Janet S said...

I am in love with the first CCC... and the third picture! Adorable!

iheartyourguts said...

That first one is cute as a button! I'm going to force it on some child I know who has grown up in the age of Dora the Explorer and the Wonder Pets and hasn't the faintest idea what Cookie Monster is.

Hotch Potchery said...

Almost every post someone comments that they laughed out loud at a picture...and while I think you are VERY clever and I love this site, it had never happened to me, and I kind of thought they were blowing smoke up your ass.

Until today.

Oh, and katie...that song is now stuck in my head. Thanks!

Cindy said...

The last ones look like they have their poor little eyeballs smashed up against the fluorescent tube. Eeeep!

Melanie said...

well its still a ccc, but its a cute one. I agree with one poster that it really would have looked better as real cake. the other ones horrify me.

Sonya said...

I ran screaaaaaming from the display when I saw the Cookie-Monster-has-a-porn-'stach ones. Then I realized that I had a duty to document and share with Cake Wrecks.

The idea of buying them to release them from their unfortunate situation never occurred to me - if it was just ugly, I could force myself to eat it - but these had too much frosting for me.

D.B. Echo said...

NEWS FLASH: Cookie Monster Dies When Game of "Chubby Bunny" Goes Horribly Wrong

Andrea Frederick said...

WOW...I might have nightmares of lots of cookie monsters staring at me!

funnycide said...

My mommy used to make me Cookie Monster cakes (and I got to put the eyes on!), but one year she didn't have any blue food coloring and he wound up being an albino. I still hold it against her. (Not seriously. Okay, a little seriously.)

That second cake there looks more like a Yip alien...I know because I have a homemade Yip costume and the ping-pong balls sit right on top of my head.

Mad Izatie said...

Hm....... the last one looks like it has enough icing to put you in a diabetic coma.

ksaldria said...

I think this is probably the only time when a CCC is permissible. Cookie Monster is kind of a blob like shape to begin with so a cupcake cake actually works for him! As for the second, not so nicely done version, I actually like the way they textured the "fur" but that's the only thing I like about it.

And now I really, reeeeally want a cookie.

noranoranoranoranora said...

i saw a cupcake cake at the grocery store, shaped like a rainbow. it looked really good and i wish i had my camera!

Chicka said...

No matter how you look at it, a lot of people are going to have green poo for about a week.

(Cookie Monster cake - my 7th birthday. It was teh awesum.)

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Anonymous said...

I'll admit that first CCC is good.
~Amy B

daundelyon said...

Given Cookie's rather amorphous shape, the first ccc actually does work reasonably well.
The others, however, make me want to force feed the decorators rice cakes until they turn green and apologize.

Steph said...

I absolutely enjoy your blog! I wanted to e-mail in some photos I found on the internet for your viewing pleasure but it wouldn't work. So I'll have to be content to comment on the ones you post. I just recently discovered this blog and I cannot get enough. As for the Cookie Monster cupcake cakes and cupcakes, the only one that I would want to eat is that first one. So well done as opposed to all the others.

Calantha said...

The decapitated Cookie Monsters made the pleasant surprise from the first image go KERSPLAT! While I have no doubt Cookie Monster would love to swim in an ocean made entirely of sweet treats, drowning while choking on a cookie must be his worst nightmare.

Kelly said...

oh, my day is complete. Upon viewing the first CCC I thought to myself surely she can't find anything wrong with this...they did a good job. And then the torturing of cookie monster began...wah-hah-hah...

I'll tell you later Betty

Killired said...

i like the first cake.. not so bad after seeing the other stuff!

Rhonda said...

This is the FUNNIEST blog I have ever read!!! I have laughed out loud for the past twenty minutes!! It is great!!

Bliss said...

nom nom nom ME like COOKIES!!!!

I think Cookie Monster would LOVE to be made out of all cookies...NOT cupcakes...even if he does look totally adorable in the first one...it just does not make up for the total shame the decorators put him through with the following ones

Tora said...

The second Cookie Monster looks like something straight out of a South Park spoof!

lily said...

Speaking of cookie monster....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/kosmiclav/0227081804.jpg

Clutter-bug said...

I really like the first cake! even with all the blueness! and the CM cupcakes that use the sprinkles are fairly adorable.. The Elmo ones are cute!
and they both have plus sides.. Blue Sprinkles are less likely to give you green poo o.O

Eric said...

Don't go over to the Dark side, no matter how cute it may appear.



goinggreenaccidently.blogspot.com

Clutter-bug said...

Oh lily!

that looks like something from a Fred Meyer bakery.. well with all those other cakes around.. or Kroger... I think it's the same company different name depending on local?? ... no ide.a. LOL!

I swear I've seen that cheeseburger cake at Freddies tho!

nancy b said...

The second cake is creepy because its amoebic. Once it makes the first split, it WILL take over the world. This is not a conspiracy theory, folks. When encountered and not immediately destroyed, it will reproduce uncontrollably (as evidenced by the whole case of mini creepy cookie monsters). Feel warm and fuzzy for these cakes at your own risk!

sues2u2 said...

Oh so cute! I'm so glad that you liked the first one 'cause it was AdOrAbLe! As for the rest? Well lets just say that I too, can agree w/ some of the other commenters on the individual cupcakes. Too sweet!

bionelly said...

Clutter-bug, I can confirm that Fred Meyer is owned by the Kroger company, along with about 15 other grocery chains, and two jewelry stores. If you'rre talking about the "choking" cupcakes, though, it looks like they're from a store whose name starts with "Marrazz-", and I'm pretty sure none of the versions of Kroger have a name like that. I'm also pretty sure that the "Pie $9.99 each" sign is referring to something on the shelf above it, as that seems to be the standard sign setup I've seen. That sign you can just barely see at the bottom of the picture is probably the one with the cupcake prices on it.

And for the record, I think those cupcakes are cute, and I would get them. The other ones are just scary, though, and I wouldn't want to eat something with that cake-to-frosting ratio even if it was the most delicious-looking cupcake in the world.

RamblingDreamer said...

I heard somewhere that the Cookie Monster has been remade into the Veggie Monster (or something similar) for the sake of PC-ness (and to help combat obesity in children). *Sigh* The poor guy.

nrosetulip said...

Is the second picture upside down? The perspective looks like someone leaned way over and took the pic upside down. It makes me dizzy.

The cookiemonster ccc is a nice case in point on how dangerous it is to generalize. You can never ever generalize, it's ALWAYS bad.

Amanda-The Family News! said...

Oh my gosh...this has to be THE funniest thing I have ever read!!!!

Marie said...

OK, CCC number one does look nice. But it doesn't look appetizing: who needs so much frosting anyway? Ughhh... And I personally have a problem with neon blue food. With neon whatever-color food, actually.

Kore said...

I've always wanted to make a Cookie Monster cake, but was afraid it would end up looking as dreadful as those last few cupcake monsters in your photos.

If I thought I could pull it off, I'd make this cake: http://www.coolest-birthday-cakes.com/cookie-monster.html#c11

batwrangler said...

It must be a pandemic! http://www.flickr.com/photos/batwrangler/2927541168/

jennnn said...

Don't fret over liking the first cupcake cake! It simply proves that there is an exception to every rule--except the rule about not combining leopard print, red stretch velvet, and gold lamé in one "outfit."

Kayla said...

Damn you and your hilarious cake wrecks and accompanying verbage! You owe me a dry pair of pants! lol

Miss Attitude said...

I don't really understand why you'd make a CCC, why not just a cake then if you're going through all of that effort?!??!!
But the first one is terribly cute.. COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE!

Ell said...

It's the cookies that does it in the first cake. They're the perfect detail.

But I thought the cupcake army was a cute idea. The first one that is. Or I'm just really into cupcakes...

Btw, love your blog, should really comment more often!s

dawntreader said...

i thought the little red and blue Chokie Monsters looked more like McDonald's Fry Guys!

erinicasey said...

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v497/busky06/n21409794_32522863_119.jpg[/IMG]

oh yeah... that just happened!

Elizabeth said...

I love all of these!!!!!
I think they're awesome!!

Anonymous said...

I'm 30 and when I was a kid in the early 1980s, the (now closed) Kroger grocery store in Ambridge, PA sold Cookie Monster cupcakes with Nilla Wafers as the mouths. I remember because my grandpa always bought us them when we visited.

Züccaciye said...

Thank You

Bardea said...

I haven't been to cake wrecks in a while, and the Cookie Monster CCC choking Wreck brought many laughing tears to my eyes. THANK YOU JEN!

emma skeez said...

I like the 1st one and the 3rd one! they look so cute. I think the icing would be too much for me though, I don't have a huge sweet tooth.

whizkidforte said...

With Sesame Street celebrating its big 4-0 today, I couldn't stop laughing!

Audrey K. said...

OMG The first "choking" cupcake Cookie Monsters are SOOOO cute! They look like little kids guiltily stealing from the cookie jar, not choking on them!