Monday, August 11, 2008

Play It Again, Wrecks.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Proving that the lightning of horrendous taste does indeed strike more than once, here are some designs that may look a wee bit familiar:

Remember this?
Here's another bride who thought an edible version of herself was a smashing idea:

We can only hope that the baker wasn't finished when this photo was taken, of course. I would assume this is the "topper" for an edible skirt - but it's anyone's guess why there are no arms.


Next up: remember the unforgettable baby bum cake? Well, it evidently started a trend:

This just might be more disturbing than the original Wreck, since there isn't even a possibility of the front end existing. It's just a bisected baby with waxy-looking legs being cruelly taunted with that tiny little teddy bear. I mean, really, how's she supposed to play with that? Sheesh, some people are so insensitive...

But(t) wait: there's more! Yes, if that doesn't strike your fancy, here's an assortment of bums to choose from - with the added dubious advantage of looking absolutely nothing like a baby's lower half:



Continuing the shower theme (since it tends to be the worst offender), let's move on to the Wreck that introduced the word "wachungas" into my vocabulary:

As many of you have pointed out, this is actually a beautifully done cake: it's just a wrecktastic design. Brace yourself, though, because this is about to become a veritable beacon of subtlety and good taste. Ready? Here goes...

I think I saw this outfit modeled on one of Maury Povich's "Who's the Daddy?" episodes.


But even that is restrained compared to this:

Because every woman who's 8 months pregnant just loves getting Brazilians and lounging in a teensy tiny bikini...with her stethoscope.

Um. What?

Oh, wait, I get it! The stethoscope is cold, see? That explains the whole Cuban missile crisis issue going on up there, if ya knowuddamean.

And lastly, please put down any food or beverage items, because I unfortunately must remind you of this dry-heave-inducing creation:

Everyone still have those beverages at a safe distance? No food in your mouths? Ok, good. Proceed.


And with that, I will leave you. Enjoy your lunches now, y'hear?


Thanks to Joy D., Stephanie F., Summer, Marz, & J.B. for the photos.
Mary said...

Ok..I am having a really hard time this time deciding which is worse! The oversized head on the bride (with a reaally creepy grin), the "creole" preggers revulsion or the last one.

Who in the heck would think warts and toenail fungus is eatable on a cake? I took your advice and put down my food before viewing.

Ashley said...

Those cakes are a hoot. I can't imagine requesting a cake to look like a baby ass or a baby belly...I think I'll stick with a plain chocolate or PB sheet cake...those can't be messed up!

kinni said...

Oh my. That first pregnant belly cake is also improved by the fact that it doesn't have limbs sticking out of it. The severed body parts look going on in that second one especially - ewwwwwwwww. I don't even know what piece of the cake you'd want on either of those two. Severed neck? Erect nipple? Over-exposed groin?

MaryO said...

OMG & LOL !!!!!!!!!!!

You've outdone yourself! I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt! Geez, those are some BAAAADDD cake wrecks!

"Cuban missile crisis" HILARIOUS! My husband would say, "T**S at the ready!" :-)

Lisa said...

OK love your blog, not sure if I've commented before. You are hilarious and at first I couldn't believe the stuff you were finding out there.

Well that was until my baby shower this weekend. I promise I'm not spamming you, just check out my blog to see what I'm talking about:

http://lisaispreggers.blogspot.com/2008/08/one-for-cake-wrecks-how-appropriate-for.html

Ally said...

Wow, I don't even have the words...
:)

Tiffany N. said...

can I just say that I am VERY glad that they refrained from adding the swollen labia that come with pregnancy to that 2nd belly cake? I mean the addition of the gigantic nipples is enough reality for a confection!

Amanda said...

That foot is the grossest thing I've ever seen. I couldn't possibly eat it. It's worse than the original foot, I think. These are ALL horrible though. From creepy to revolting...

Lyz said...

The baby bottom cake first posted is a work of art compared to the sausage-legs coming out of the other "bottoms".

Why, WHY must people make a cake look like anything human? Are there some unaddressed cannabalistic tendencies here?

V. Nicharico said...

I can't believe people actually order these things!! The foot cake literally made me cringe! :o

Those toenails!! :((

tat2kitten said...

what is up with these cake "artist". i mean i can appreciate a unique cake with the best of them, but what? what!?! and those bride cakes... they're like some nightmare-ish homage to that tom petty video. and i'm not even touching those foot cakes. and i mean that literally. let's just hope that the cake isn't red velvet.

Geo said...

The toenails! The toenails! Aaaaauuuuuugggghhhh!!!!!!!

evil cake lady said...

????who asks for these things????

those round cakes with the deformed legs sticking out of them that are supposed to be baby butts and legs are just....wrong. so wrong.

Allyson said...

I can explain the stethescope one, really I can! It MUST be a birthday cake for an OB-GYN! A male one. Right? LOL...

Anonymous said...

Oh wow... I mean, wow.

Those bridal cakes reminded me of Margaret Atwood's "The Edible Woman." Except creepier. Really creepier.

The first bridal shower cake, and in fact the baby bum, almost work. I'm not so horrified by them, but I have to aggree with kinni - erect nipples on a cake?

I can't even go on about the nail fungus and warts. Although I suppose I'm grateful there isn't any athelet's foot happening too!

kristin said...

OOOOh, OOOh, OOOOH!!!!!! What in the....? Honestly, they are all just hideous! Some of those baby butt cakes are done so poorly that all it looks like is the circle cake with legs attached to the cake base. Seriously?!! At least ATTEMPT to make it look decent. Attach the limbs for heaven's sake!! I just don't get those! As for the prego cakes, I have no words to adequately describe what I'm seeeing. The one in the skimpy bikini and stethescope is just horrific. HORRIFIC. Those nipples definitely look like launch pads. I mean really? It's just absolutely ridiculous. And the feet cakes, I was actually gagging. Isn't cake supposed to conjur happy feelings? Nice warm, yummy feelings of what's to come? How can one possibly feel that looking at something that grotesque?!! Honestly, I just don't get people.

Becky said...

Wow. Wow. Wow. Those are just unspeakably horrible.

Us said...

Oh good grief! That last one is just nasty, but the concept of eating a foot designed cake is just disgusting in and of itself.

The cold-pregnant bikini has me laughing. Who knew the first pregnant belly would ever look so dignified, eh?

Helen Ann said...

No doubt the creole cake design was thought up by some sick pregophile who can't wait to take the first piece of the bikini bottom.

BLAH!

Z'rrza said...

I really, REALLY appreciated your advice to put the beverages away before viewing the last cake... The ones that preceded it... lack of good taste, obviously, but the warty, footy, excuse me, must use the restroom...
Sorry, back. Um. Yeah.
That said, LOVE your wrecks, keep them coming!

Ronnica said...

Gotta love the baby bum cakes where they didn't even try to make the cake look like a baby bum. Poor execution of a poor design.

*Amber* said...

Cut me off a piece of that va-ja-ja will ya - the orange icing looks DE-licious.

Jeez.

K. Inez said...

I can't help but wonder if the baby butt cakes are chocolate. Or lemon. Hee! {yes, I am immature}

Wife and Mommy said...

Um. That last foot has YELLOW TOENAILS! Yuck. Yuck.

Gerry Brague said...

Anticipating cutting into the pregnant cakes, one can't help but think of a c-section... Yikes!

Dea said...

LMAO! Oh man, just when you thought it couldn't get worse - IT DOES!!!! BWAHAAA!!!

JamieM said...

haha...the baby in the top left photo looks like she's been practicing some yoga. :) those are some *very* flexible little legs!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wGr8njEWjtI/SKBYTr81RtI/AAAAAAAAAPQ/UUWvVuu3HEg/s1600-h/Stephanie+F.jpg

wilver-and-ecru said...

The foot (both of them) is revolting. How can anyone imagine that it would be eaten?

I found your blog a while ago, but only commented today. These really make me laugh!

Kelly H said...

I am so.. so frightened.. for the future of humanity.

Linz, EIT said...

My day is complete! Thanks!

Joy said...

oh that's awesome! one of the cakes I sent in got put up!

wendl26 said...

I LOVE CSI as much as anyone can, but these body-part-type cakes are just in poor taste...no matter the 'creativity' aspect.
But they do make for a humorous and slightly nauseating afternoon's viewing!!!
Massive kudos to Jen! :)

Wendy

Shantel said...

that is disgusting... how do people actually cut into this with an appetite, and worse, EAT it? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Riley said...

I can overlook new decorators trying new things. But when someone is good enough to make a warty foot with nail fungus look real ...........GAG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Riley said...

Nuh uh, no warts and nail fungus... not on feet and not on food.

whywouldyouknitthat said...

Those are the funniest things I have ever seen. Those brides have to be those women you see that can't walk by a mirror without checking themselves out and either striking a pose or pursing their lips out.

Loved the tattoo on the pregnant belly cake, and that foot is DISGUSTING!

Georgie B said...

Arrggghhh!

My eyes!!

Make it stop!!!

Thanks for the evening chuckle.

slycreations said...

If more people brought foot cakes to the office, I'd save a lot of calories!! Ain't no way I'd eat a slice of that.

As for the baby butt cakes --- I am an amateur cake decorator, and yes, I've been asked to do a cake in that style. Instead I opted for piping the baby onto a sheet cake -- his butt stuck out, but at least it wasn't that tasteless! The pic is as http://www.slycreations.com/cakes/97c9.jpg

Steph said...

The only way those bisected baby bums could be any worse is if they are princess tortes all covered in the worst confection ever - marzipan.

The Hatch's said...

Eating "babies" and baby bellies and even the bride is bad even if it is only cake. I guess if you really think about it though it couldn't be any worse then the birthday parties that have the human characters for pinatas. What's worse eating a human or beating one with a stick? We all must be sick and wrong in one way or another :)

KayƩ said...

LOL! Why does the foot have pimples? I enjoy the second, erm, boobie cake - a stephescope? I guess they couldn't fit an ultrasound?

Claire said...

Those body cakes are made all the worse by the fact that I've seen real dead human torsoes when accompanying a friend to a uni open day. She's studying medicine, of course. There's something both inhuman and so very peopley about a torso without its limbs and head.

Tanya said...

All of these cakes are very disturbing, but none so much as the last foot cake. Who thinks this is a good idea? I literally lost my appetite after seeing that.

Great site by the way! These cakes are hilarious.

Amy Ellen said...

OMG All of those make the original ones look way better, amazing as that sounds, LOL. Those were pretty bad, thanks again for the laugh. Makes me feel so much better about the cakes I make!!
Amy

thenewsarahsundae said...

oh.my.god. that last one is totally nasty. *shudder*

James said...

These cakes are wonderful diet aids! I lost my appetite when we got to the foot cakes.

Please, keep up the good work!

Dan Morrison said...

I can't believe no one has posted the link to the CreoleCakes "Naughty Cakes" page. The pregnant bikini is just the start:
http://creolecakes.multiply.com/photos/album/11/Naughty_Cakes

Kristen & Cliff said...

Ok, so I had to show the Edible Bride to my 3 and 5 year old daughters and they said, "Hey that cake looks just like that lady! Why?" From the youngest, "Mommy, why does she want to eat herself? Yuck." Exactly.
But the foot??? That takes the cake! LOL! GROSS

Andrea said...

All those poor breach babies!

Anonymous said...

OMG! Do people not understand that this is a blog showing what shouldn't be done with cakes as opposed to some great idea list?!?

And to think I couldn't imagine the horse's a$$ could be outdone...

Anonymous said...

My stomach!! I can't imagine eating the last one...

Jessica said...

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know I tagged you for a Brillante Weblog award because I so enjoy your blog, and you keep my laughing! Don't worry, I don't expect you to pass the award on, but I wanted you to know I love your blog!

Amy said...

What the??? Did they order "extra fungus" on the toe nails of that last cake? Thank God I wasn't eating when I opened this post...that one will stick with me!

dooflotchie said...

OKAYYYYYY...that's it. I'm never eating cake again!

Anonymous said...

There's a traditional cake served at Mardi Gras which has a tiny plastic baby hidden inside.

I can only wonder if the pregnancy cakes contain a similar surprise...

Miki said...

The best part is the pregnant cake with her butterfly tattoo included. Nothin' says class like a butterfly tattoo on an engorged pregnant torso cake. hee hee hee.

dykewife said...

ain't no way i'd bite into that last cake. not only does the cake have plantar warts (those bumps on top) but there's some very nasty fungus under those toe nails.

Anonymous said...

I think I'm going to have nightmares now. *cries in pain*

Not-So-Spoiled said...

That's hysterical!

I love it!

Anonymous said...

I think this post is some kind of aversion therapy. Are you in cahoots with Weight Watchers?

Must remember these horrors next time the cake cravings strike...

Jen Gagne said...

Oh the humanity!! O_O

Jane Sutton said...

Just discovered your blog. I'm an instant fan.

Julie said...

Oh.

My.

Gawd.

That's all I can say.

Sarah said...

what would possess a person to order such a monstrosity of a cake as that disgusting foot?! is "hoof" a podiatrist or just a guy with bad feet?

Abby said...

Is there an actual cake pan for pregnant women cakes or something?

Maire said...

I truly felt my stomache flip when I saw the cruddy grungy foot cake. ewwwww

Nicoyle said...

Love your blog, can't imagine how in the world they come up with ideas for these cakes. Hopefully I won't come across any of these cakes in the future.. lol

Stampest said...

I love how on the baby butt cakes, they don't even try to make the round cakes look butt shaped. So they are now creepy and poorly executed... lol

Nakia said...

This will teach me a lesson about scrolling through pictures before reading the text while eating lunch. That last foot one is the most disgusting thing imaginable, there is absolutely no way I could put a piece of that in my mouth. Blech!

ann said...

OK, how long will it be before someone takes that extra step and puts a little pile of Whoppers candy beneath the baby's butt?

Heather said...

loving this blog

Trini said...

Ann said: "OK, how long will it be before someone takes that extra step and puts a little pile of Whoppers candy beneath the baby's butt?"

And if that's not bad enough, how long after that will they decide to use red velvet cake a la "Steel Magnolias".

GAH!!

halfgk said...

*golf clap*

Anonymous said...

Actually the new foot cake isn't nearly as disgusting as the original one!

And for the stethascope? maybe the cake is for an OB/GYN? Just a thought.

Lisa said...

I found the blog of the creator of that pregnant bikini cake. Apparently it was for an OB-GYN who was celebrating her birthday and retirement. The creator has a lot of experience creating "naughty" cakes, as you'll see if you check out some of her other creations. I have to say, at least her designs are well executed.

http://creolecakes.blogspot.com/2007/11/pregnant-naughty-cake.html

adozeneggs said...

Oh My God! I spend a fair amount of time looking at cakes online for inspiration, but this site is totally outrageous. I just can't imagine letting any of these walk out with a customer. Holy crap! My husband and I laughed so hard we cried looking at the pics and reading your hysterical commentary. Who ever would want a pregnant torso!? Your site is great, I'm checking in every day!

Porkloins said...

Oh no!!
That foot is from The Bleeding Heart Bakery, here in Chicago!
Someone must have custom ordered it... But who!??!
And for the love of God, WHY?!?!
K*

Ps
Cake Wrecks rules!

Yvonne said...

Wow.
Just....
I hope these cakes never come into my life whenever I get pregnant! There is something just overly disturbing and slightly cannibalistic about eating a baby-butt cake or a baby-in-belly cake...

Aaron T. said...

The second picture of the incomplete "bride" cake isn't a bride and it isn't a cake. It's another polymer clay cake topper by the same artist who sculpted the first one, but it's smaller than life-size, it's for a girl's 16th birthday party, and the finished product had arms and looked fantastic. Why pick out just one image of the incomplete project, when the whole thing is documented at the sculptor's Flickr page here?

LiLi said...

Please be sure to add this jewel... http://i13.tinypic.com/63d2ypt.jp%3Cbr%3Eg

Sweet Designs Cakery said...

I never laughed so hard. I hope you never get ahold of one of our cakes =).

Llama llama, Not yo mama said...

So TMZ gave you a pic of Brit's baby shower cake? Dayum.

ad said...

It's nice to be reminded that reality is always stranger than fiction.

Ride on Naked Mohawk babies, ride on!

hollyml said...

So, apparently it actually was for an OB/GYN, but you know, preggo ladies do sometimes use stethoscopes to listen to their baby's heartbeat. So I don't find the stethoscope to be so weird.

The bikini and the humongo nipples, now that's weird. LOL. But it's the protruding belly button that REALLY makes me shudder.

Claudia said...

OMGosh. I KNOW what the distorted foot with the red cuff is. I's a "bound" foot! The torturous old Chinese custom of binding feet brought to sugar covered reality. How dreadfully gruesome - for us, and for the lady with that bound foot!

mamasdramas said...

OMG that is too hilarious! I'm adding this to my blogroll if you don't mind.

Jeff said...

Give me a toe nail! Not too much fungus, please.

Faye said...

i have personally spoken with the woman that makes those baby butt cakes, and while she is very nice, its disturbing, and i am so glad I am not the only one who thinks so! its just a little "off-putting" dont you think?

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I've posted on your blog, but this cake just...well, takes the cake. YUK!!
Amy

The Bleeding Heart said...

My husband actually made that really nasty foot cake. It was made as a joke to get back at his brother for a ton of different things, you know, brother growing up together...embaressing eachother type stuff. However, you would be surprised what people actually do ask us for and in the end, you make what your customer wants, not what you want.

Ward C. said...

I think I have seen a foot just like that, just it wasn't ON the table.

Anonymous said...

The only way the baby butt cakes could be worse is if they were chocolate flavor.

Roberta said...

Thank you for this site. I was taking a break from what I was doing at work and ended up making an ass of myself laughing hysterically at your posts. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Thanks!

Jessica said...

Oh My! What can really be said?

Aarati said...

OMG they actually made a chinese footbinding cake? I can just imagine a world history student bringing that in as extra credit during the Tang/Song Dynasty unit...

Stephanie said...

That's about as disgusting as it comes. YUCK!

This blog is awesome! I haven't come across anything this funny. Apparently with most of these cakes, common sense is not so common.

Dina said...

nice cakes

Evan Adams said...

Why would anyone even want a cake shaped like a baby but? I mean, what's the thought process there?

Adrienne said...

Th-the last two...

WHY

Anonymous said...

These are hilarious. I laughed so hard at the stethoscope and the warty foot cake that I scared my cat.

Lisa's shower cake in her comment link had me in tears too.

Zombie said...

I just discovered this blog today and have had a good ol' time looking at all the horror you've got here. Hilarious!

But the baby butt cakes have inspired perhaps one of the most inappropriate mental images possible... my initial reaction was, "Oh look, an array of cakes catering to the pedophile market."

"Hey, anyone want a piece of this baby's ass?" "Boy, DO I!"

I'm a bad person, but I couldn't resist. You can delete this one when you're moderating comments, if you want. I won't blame you. ;-)

Kansas girl said...

How Cakewrecks has warped my brain: I keep hearing ads for "hand-shaped bread" and, after Cakewrecks, and especially this post, that makes me wonder: who would want bread shaped like a hand?

It always takes a second before my brain catches up and realizes they mean shaped BY hand.

FreedomFirst said...

Hey, I actually thought that first pregnancy cake was really cool. I would SO have that at my shower.

The other two, though - especially the bikini - yuck!

And the poor little lost feet are just sad. I mean, really.

brokenangelred said...

I made a pregger torsso cake this month. I was telling my girlfriend about it the night before I made it and she stopped me and asked, "Wait, so they are going to eat her and her unborn child in cake form?"

"Yeah, pretty much..."

It turned out very nice but as I was making it, the image of them cutting in to it for the fist time never left my mind.

creolecakes said...

hi everyone! its so nice reading all your comments:) ..im the creator of the pregnant naughty cake with stethoscope!:)

that was a gift from a daughter to her OB-GYN Mom. Her mom also assisted my mom when my mom gave birth to me:)

i dont think it should be captioned as part of the cake wrecks coz that was solely made for a Doctor who retired and at the same time celebrated her birthday:)

anyways, thanks so much for including my cakes here.. i enjoyed reading your comments:)

Ida said...

I just found your blog and am starting at the beginning. Love it. I can't imagine a pregnancy cake? "Can I interest you in a piece of boob? No? Perhaps baby bump then?" Reminds me of Steele Magnolias and the armadillo cake. Thanks for the piece of . . .

Anonymous said...

Ok, the deformed foot, second from last I believe? I believe that is what's called a "lotus foot" only unwrapped. In China it used to be practice to break and wrap up feet until they were only 3 inches long. INSANELY PAINFUL! However, they were rarely unwrapped, and now we see why. There were even cases of divorse when a man saw his wife's unbound foot. Likely it scared him for life.

Anonymous said...

i had to cover the pictures with my hand scrolling back up

Ralph W. said...

Wow! you have 101 pages of hilarious cakes!

whizkidforte said...

I heard a lot of horror stories regarding the palatability of Wilton's fondant (a lot of tasters loathed it to bits), and here's hoping that the last cake (like the lotus foot one) is made of a low-brow fondant like that so I can peel the disgustingness off - ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Cupcakes Lady said...

OMG ...the toenails....OMG. Again my stomach churned. How could you eat it. No way...I just couldnt xx

Hannah R. said...

One thing that makes me curious on that last picture... Who in their right mind would name their child Hoof?!? (Or give them the nickname Hoof?) XD what the heck is all I have to say!