Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Why Are the Children Screaming?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

"I don't get it - we just brought out the cakes, and poof! Mass hysteria!"



I'm not sure which is worse: Dead "Lips" the Clown or Homicidal Horned Boo-Boo here. On the plus side, I'm guessing any parent who serves these will never have to buy circus tickets for the kiddies ever again. Of course, that benefit might be slightly offset by all the therapy those kids are going to need...

Stephanie L. and Katie H., do you suppose these decorators had TCE's as children? (That's "Traumatic Clown Encounter".)
adozeneggs said...

It's a two for.
Both hideous and frightening.
I to the Wilton cake decorating course #1 and they had us make equally disgusting clowns with a plastic clown head spike for the top. Simply horrible. Clowns should never be on cakes.

Lis Garrett said...

I showed my 3-year-old daughter these cakes and she said, "Scary!"

Gallifrey said...

PMSL... most kids seem to hate clowns, what were the parents thinking!! lol

Dea said...

GAAAAAH!!! Not what I needed upon first waking up! I hate clowns. Hate them. They scare me. They're not funny. The first one reminds me of It, and the second one reminds me of that psycho toy in Poltergeist! Clowns BAAAAAAD!!! >:(

Chris said...

And people wonder why some folks have an "irrational" fear of clowns. Makes perfect sense now.

TheCourteousChihuahua said...

The first one looks like a blow-up doll from the circus porn store...and the second one looks like the clown who would buy it!

Amanda said...

This is an interesting twists on those shirts that say "Can't sleep - clowns will eat me." Maybe someone's trying to get over their phobia? "Ha ha, clown, now I will eat you!!"

Red said...

eew, eew, eew.

Katie said...

Clowns scare me.

LizC said...

Is that first cake in a fish bowl??

Valerie said...

I knew there was a reason I never liked clowns!

Wendy said...

My guess is that the second one is a purposely "evil clown" for an ironic-theme party. Which, of course, isn't nearly as good of a story.

Mel said...

Yikes! The 1st clown looks dead w/ the "X" eyes. Isn't that used to denote someone being dead in comic books? Both scare the beejesus out of me!

EmBee said...

*shuddering and commenting in a soft whisper*

"Not clowns, anything but clowns."

Sheri said...

What is up with the dead eyes?

Maybe it was to show a scared kid that dead clowns aren't really THAT scary anymore?

arosstex said...

A BLUE nose? Who ever heard of a BLUE clown nose? No wonder kids don't like clowns!

Tristan said...

OMG! I am terrified of clowns in the first place....why would you do that to a kid..

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

Those are the kinds of cakes that you have to check for razors inside.

*Michelle said...

I was blessed enough never to see IT. I had no fear of clowns growing up.... Now I am terrified!

Maybe it was a murder mystery party? Guests have to figure out who killed the first clown and it turns out to be BoBo the Homicidal Clown?

Sheryl said...

Totally brilliant, The Courteous Chihuahua -- you made my day!

k-bro said...

Oh my goodness. I am one of those who has an irrational fear of clowns. Yikes! Those cakes just sent me over the edge. I'm off to find a good therapist.

Twistie said...

thecourteouschihuahua, I bow to you. That was my gut reaction which I entirely failed to find a way to put into words.

I am filled with gratitude that my parents never tried to serve up a clown cake for my birthday.

laughingatchaos said...

AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Clowns!!!!!!! Why did it have to be clowns????? LOL

Charlotte & Dustin said...

Those are diabolical! I might have nightmares tonight.

Katie Alender said...

The first one looks like a clown mafia hit... "Bring me the clown's head on a platter."

Sarah said...

Oh c'mon! Who doesnt like dead clowns?!

The second one isnt sooooo bad. I mean it isnt like the dead one above anyway

kimbalaya said...

Wow, I wonder what's wrong with my 3-year-old. She was looking over my shoulder when I loaded this page, and she giggled and said "Funny!"

Kaethe said...

Hey kids, look, it's Stabby the Clown, and a victim.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

Holy hilarious Batman! Clowns are the most terrifying thing on earth....

Jordan and Mary Pitts said...

The first one looks like a safety advertisement using scare tactics.

"This is not a toy. Do not leave child alone with plastic. Do not place plastic over head. Plastic can obstruct airway and cause suffication"

Jennywenny said...

Ha ha! Very timely-I just made my clown cake for the wilton cake decorating classes! I agree, very scary and probably wont be doing it again.

I have to say, I dont remember being scared much by clowns on cakes, my scariest encounter was with a 6 ft kermit the frog while I was visiting my grandpa. I think a lot of comforting and ice cream was involved to calm me down!

Elvira said...

All Clowns Are Evil!
All clowns carry knives......
which I guess will be helpful when serving up cake.

Chris said...

What a choice: Dead Clown or Tranny Clown.

I've always hated clowns as I always thought them evil. These cakes prove my point.

Shay said...

Aaaaaaack! Nightmares for me tonight!!!!!!!

Kathleen Marie said...

Wow, they are creepy... Some decorators are very strange people.

What's Her Face said...

I feel like the first clown, "lips" as you called him, recently joined the red hat society. I mean, is that not what he's wearing? A red hat with purple??

MaryO said...

Oh geez. That IS scary. Clowns are weird-scary at best anyway. Definitely these are clown cake wrecks from hell. A child would need years of therapy after experiencing (eating) these cake wrecks!

Again, thecourteouschihuahua hits the nail on the head with the comment! LMAO

Rufus said...

Oh, sorry kids- it looks like Lipsy the Clown suffocated in this plastic container...

La Pixie said...

I offically hate clowns now! =)

die Frau said...

That first clown's "eyes" need to be tilted only slightly to one side and he'd have the dead-eyes look like when cartoons get killed. Yikes.

Clowns are either incredibly fun or so creepy-scary you have nightmares for life. There's no in-between. These cakes fall into the latter category.

AmberV said...

That lower cake is definitely, without question, The Filthiest Cake Alive! It has John Waters all over it.

Misty B said...

My 6 year old said, "I don't like the dead clown".

Us said...

As if clowns were scary enough just by their lonesome, someone makes a horrifying clown cake. Niiiiiiiiiice.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for creating this website. Thank you. THANK YOU!

SolaMommy said...

This reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons where Bart is a baby and Homer builds him a clown bed.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b2/Bedclown.jpg

Dalton said...

My God. This is the scariest thing I have ever seen. Hands down.
~~~~~~~~
http://phelpssaveschildren.blogspot.com

Lindsey said...

The first one wouldn't be TOO bad if he did have those "X"s for eyes, signaling that he's dead. Who would want a take with the decapitated head of a clown on it?

Amydeanne said...

that top one is crazy! lol

LeftyMom said...

My almost-4-year-old daughter has an intense fear of clowns (and people in costumes). This would set us back years if she saw this on her birthday! What sort of sicko would design or purchase such a cake?!

Ronnica said...

Clowns are scary enough as is...

Tana said...

Either of those would cause coulrophobia (intense fear of clowns) in anyone. God knows I've suffered from it since I was five, infected with loathing at a Ringling Brothers Circus. Because they're not funny.

The antidote for this condition is a screening of "Shakes the Clown," with Bobcat Goldthwaite, Robin Williams, Julie Brown, Florence Henderson (in a black slip, with hickies and clown make-up on her neck). It's been called "the 'Citizen Kane' of alcoholic clown movies."

Sean said...

Y'know, if they would have cut a couple of holes in the lid, the first clown wouldn't have suffocated like that.

Erin said...

Even as an adult, I'm scared of clowns. These clown cakes are almost as frightening as the real thing.

Poptart said...

Wow, those are hideous. The bottom one is probably the worst.


Adozeneggs - I made those too! Only... mine were dead :D

flickr.com/tracy_marie

Anonymous said...

can't sleep....cake will eat me...

one-eared pig said...

*shudder*

Rachael M. said...

Bah ha ha! These cakes are great scary clowns! I especially like the dead one. (wtf!)

At a family breakfast in a restaurant the other day, my 4-year-old nephew was directed to color the clown on his paper placemat.

"Noooo...I don't like clowns. I'm scared of them."

If children are supposed to love clowns, but all the children I know are scared of clowns, then WHO REALLY LIKES CLOWNS?

ugh.

Angela said...

I've never been afraid of clowns but I'd hate to run into one of those in a dark alley.

Sunny Lea said...

::shudder::

And adozeneggs... I hate those plastic clown heads. When I was little they were ubiquitous on cupcakes.

Anonymous said...

The only clown who ever deserved & got any respect was Homie D. Clown on In Living Color.

"Homie don't play dat!"

Mo's mom

Cece said...

The 1st cake reminds me of the head in the crystal ball at Disneyland's Haunted Mansion ride! lol

inquisitivesensitive said...

scary cakes indeed!

Apache1228 said...

"Are you still scared of clowns?"

whispers "yeah".

Hideous cakes indeed. Mmmm, dead clown, serve it up!

Ruth said...

You would think that kids who are scared of clowns would LOVE the first one, where the clown is dead. I fail to see the problem. ;o)

Anonymous said...

My grandmother used to gift us with hideous clown decorated items. She gave me a creepy clown painting that I had to cover up at night in order to sleep.

She would have loved these cakes.

Jana B said...

ROFL I LOVE number two!!!!!!!!! I have GOT to show my friend Kim, she has serious clown phobia and will die laughing when she sees her fears validated in cake form!!!!

Vanessa said...

Can't sleep...clowns will eat me.
Oh, someone else already said this...oh well!

April said...

The second one made me think "That's and ICP (aka Insane Clown Posse) cake. Frightening!"

whywouldyouknitthat said...

That first cake makes me happy. I hate clowns and the "x" eyes makes me think he is dead. One down, many MANY more to go! LOL OK so maybe killing them is a little harsh, perhaps just hosing that makeup off would work.

meauxjeaux said...

holy cow. my husband sent me the link to your site and i just cried several real tears just looking at the pictures alone, then was practically bawling reading the commentary. i actually had to blow my nose afterwards. thanks! i needed that and look forward to enjoying more of your cake wrecks in the near future. keep up the great work. the world needs you.

Laura said...

Here's a cake to go with other non-cake cakes!
http://homepage.mac.com/crmichaud/0706wowwedding/sushiweddingcake.html

Kierra said...

My, that first bozo is wearing a perfectly lovely shade of lipstick *snickers*

~Kia

Klara J said...

Meanwhile, why is Dead Lips in a glass bowl???

fueledbylil said...

somewhat resembles the joker.

Lisa said...

Horrific looking! I would not want that at my party.

plumpdumpling said...

This reminds me of an episode of that really wonderful MTV show, "Real Life" or "True Life" or whatever it's called, in which the 15-year-old girl who just wanted to go on dates with cute boys and invite friends over to her house like a normal girl had . . . CLOWN PARENTS! And when she had a birthday party at her house, her parents decided to leave to get pizza for everyone and return WEARING SCARY CLOWN MAKE-UP! And the girl's poor friend, who was terribly afraid of clowns, had to spend the entire party cowering in the corner near the bronze statue of a clown with its pants down. Good times.

the unreliable narrator said...

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went
to the circus, and a clown killed my dad." (Jack Handey)

Erin said...

I will never forget when I was babysitting a 3 year old little boy and we were at the pool. A clown showed up to do a show and he FREAKED OUT and asked if we could leave. As we walked by the clown (I was carrying him) he tucked his head down onto my shoulder and said, "I don't want to see it!" I will never subject my future children to clowns.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I am going to have nightmares now. Thanks for that.

bionelly said...

Rachael M. said...

"If children are supposed to love clowns, but all the children I know are scared of clowns, then WHO REALLY LIKES CLOWNS?"

I've wondered that myself. It seems like something adults assume kids will like, but why don't those adults remember being scared of clowns when they were kids?


The second one reminds me of Will Ferrel's character in Zoolander. It must be the hair.

Anonymous said...

... and then you cut it and all this red frosting BLOOD spuirts out.

M said...

Nonetheless, I still want to eat that first clown's face.

lyndsay said...

OHMYGAD. hilariously scary!

ashleybayles said...

I hate clowns! They should be banned from all things related to children. Along with mimes, mascots, and those street performers that paint themselves gold or silver and stand there like statues until you walk by... so much evil in the word! Cakes are supposed to make everything better. Which is why they need bacon cake!

Nykie said...

Just what you need, Pennywise on a cake!

mister tumnus said...

my three year old has fallen in love with the clown cake (the one with yellow hair). she keeps asking me if she can have one!

Kristina Dniprenko said...

I know the first clown looks like a dead clown, but unless I'm mistaken, its a replica of the Conklin Clown.

You can check out the article about them (and see the logo) here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conklin_Shows

TeeKayOh said...

My 6 year old didn't think they were scary.. When she saw the second pic she laughed and said, "Look Goldilocks is a boy wit black and red. That's silly." That cracked me up.

Cupcakes Lady said...

Clowns have never been my favorite entertainment. Now they are way way way down the list ;) xx