Sunday, August 31, 2008

You, Too, Can Have Teletubby Poo

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Step 1: Order a cake with colors that rival Andy Warhol's paint palette, and have lots of beer on hand to wash it down.

(Ah, nice choice. Are you sure you have enough beer, though?)

Step 2: Consume. The dyes will stain every and anything they come in contact with, including clothing, skin, and vital organs. Observe:




Step 3: Wait for Mother Nature's call. Enjoy this foray into the world of technicolor poo.



[PHOTO REMOVED] (You're welcome.)



Step 4: Consider becoming a vegan. ;)



No, I'm not a vegan, folks. But I'm pretty sure blue poo should make us reconsider our dietary habits, don't you?


Sarah, I hear an herbal detox is good for this sort of thing.
AppsNChaps said...

That much icing would make me want to vomit. I couldn't stomach one cupcake!

Tameson said...

Even a vegan can use too much food coloring. My daughter once had some bubble gum and it turned her poo bright neon green!

Anonymous said...

Photo removed?
Oh, man!
You actually had a photo of technicolour poo..?
Oh well..
~Amy

Chris said...

First, am I the only one who thinks that the title of this post is its best part?

Second, can someone please remind me again why anyone thinks cupcake-cakes are a good idea? I mean, really. Beer, I can understand. Battery-powered icing, I can forgive. But cupcake-cakes? C'mon.

Winston said...

Are you saying that the blue dye is made from animals? I thought it was usually made from plants.

Anonymous said...

A piano birthday cake with predominantly black icing sent me running to the Internet to make sure bright green poo was normal. I don't recommend doing that to any guests, unless you really want to disturb them!

The Engelhardt 4 said...

My 4 yr old had problems with blue poo after eating Crazy Colors Ice Cream from Blue Bell...and I make cakes as a hobby, but never had this problem with the Cookie Monster cake...that's just means this cake had WAY TOO MUCH BLUE!!!!! Makes me rethink eating any cake with blue icing!!!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

lol tooo funny and what a horridly ugly cake!

What's Her Face said...

What is your take on cupcake cakes anyway?

We bought one like this from a store Memorial Day weekend. It said, "Congratulations" and we THINK it was a road driving through a desert with blue sky in the background. ...and one cupcake was missing (the cake was on clearance and we didn't notice the missing cupcake until we got home). Another thing we didn't notice until we got home was what appeared to be two finger swipes through the "asphalt". My 9 year old cousin ate a road cupcake and her tongue was black the rest of the day.
I wish I had known about this blog when we had that cake so I could have taken pictures of it for you.

SG said...

We vegans can make technicolor cakes with the best of 'em.

But what's with the 'Cupcake as Cake' phenomena? It just looks... Y'know.... Unprofessional, maybe?

Gallifrey said...

YUM... blue is my favourite colour too!!

Darth Rob said...

Picture Removed? I wonder...
Cant go wrong with beer and cake!

Ann said...

What's with the swirly cupcakes? They felt they must absolutely prove they can work a large, star-shaped tip? How, other than the toxic blue color, does this blend in with the rest of the cake?

Jennifer Foster said...

That frosting is deees-gusting. Once last year someone brought in similar cupcakes with hot pink antifreeze goo (oily, color blasted frosting) in another 1st grade classroom. A cake got spilled, then smashed on the carpet and to this day there is still a purple stain even after steam cleaning. (pink frosting + brown carpet = purple smudge). What does it do to your innards?

vivian said...

Why is the last photo removed? What was it?

Anonymous said...

That is an awesome looking cake, however.

Christin said...

You're sure you don't want to post that last photo under a jump or something? Please?

(Although I've never had blue poo, when I eat more than about half a pound of fresh blueberries from the garden, my poo smells like blueberries. Not blueberries plus poo, either--just blueberries, like a blueberry-scented candle. I'd say it's lovely but that seems gross; really it's mostly just disconcerting. Yay oversharing!)

V. Nicharico said...

Yikes! That's incredibly bright! and it looks very thick too...probably not only dye those vital organs, but coat them in sugar as well!

Cindy said...

...they frost cupcakes with PlayDoh?!!?

VeganKitty said...

Hello! I've been reading your blog for a while and it makes me laugh a lot, so keep up the great work!
One thing though about todays post... since when can't vegans eat food colouring? Not that I'm not saying everyone should be a vegan ;P, but you know food colouring is made without any animal products as far as I know.

Jano said...

I'm glad there's no pictures of blue or green poo.

I once made a black record cake...looked cool...but really a bad idea. Purple teeth and tongues and green poo.

Sara said...

I recommended your blog for Blog Day today, so...Happy Blog Day or whatever!

daisy1282 said...

I love this site! Thank you so much for helping me to laugh every day. My 16 year old son and I read it together and laugh until we are crying and our sides ache. Love it! Renee

Jenn said...

Wait a second... it looks like it's not even a regular sheet cake. Is it made out of individual cupcakes stuck together with a solid mass of icing?

Stephanie said...

I've seen proof of this in my kids after eating heavily colored "frosting." Gross.

Rima said...

Being vegan will not save you. Because of my daughter's allergies, all her birthday cakes are vegan. Purple, turquoise, etc. Scary stuff.

tanya said...

The cake is actually very pretty, but the amount of coloring worries me, especially after seeing that woman's tongue! You think after eating one of those if you accidentally cut yourself your blood will have turned blue.

Jen said...

My bad: I was thinking vegans usually eat more natural, less chemical and additive-heavy foods.

Wow, is this comment section rife with TMI, or what? :)

Singing Bear said...

Cakes! What a fab idea! Like your blog, which I found via 'Blogs of Note'. Very noteworthy.

Anonymous said...

Since everyone is on the topic of the rainbow that is poo - I'll just mention I was momentarily scared, err, 'pooless' after eating fresh beets once until I remembered I had eaten fresh beets.

I think the cupcake cakes are a basically decent idea in that they eliminate cutting and ensure that everyone gets an equal portion, but do they always have to be so tacky-looking?

The fad hasn't seemed to hit my area yet. Thank goodness.

(and the word verification of 'wankjb' is hilarious!!! Think about it a minute. Think British.....)

Anonymous said...

What do vegans have to do with anything?

Liz said...

I want to jump on the cupcake-cake hate here -- unless you maybe took a huge number of tiny, nicely frosted ones and did kind of a pointillism thing with it? Go on, somebody, take a thousand cupcakes and copy A Sunday On Grande Jatte - I dare you.

Clare K. R. Miller said...

Well, we vegans do have better cupcakes.

Regarding eating more natural food: it often goes along with a vegan diet, but is not part of the definition!

Dea said...

BWAHAHAA!!! I love the title!

And the cupcake cake phenomenon, IMHO, stems from the complete LAZINESS of the citizens of our fair country, the USA. SLICE a CAKE?? Ugh, how very tiring....

a Tattoo said...

Thank and congratulations:

http://atattoo.blogspot.com/2008/08/indicados-blog-day-2008.html

Anonymous said...

Some food dyes aren't vegan; red pigment can be cochineal or carmine, which is insects!
A lot of vegans I know use natural dyes which are made from beet juice, turmeric, black carrot, etc. India Tree makes some, as does "Seelect".
Also, vegan cupcakes are delicious, woo!

Debster said...

Many food colourings are made out of crushed insects which are not very vegan, although the insects themselves may be vegan, who knows?

Anonymous said...

OMG! It's my coworker!! Sarah, you submitted this, I'm assuming??

-Rebecca

Mark said...

At least they have good taste in beer.

mrs said...

I thought the cake was well executed for what it was. At least it was pretty. But the tongue and the poo, no thank you!

JoJo said...

I couldn't eat that cake. Ergh! Too much icing.

Anonymous said...

Love this blog... I did a cupcake cake for my son's birthday purely because I can't stand cutting cakes. They were easy to distribute, but the icing was gloppy and falling off, plus the kids had a hard time taking the paper off. Turned out to be more of a hassle than cutting the darn cake. FYI, those of you asking about cupcake cakes, that's my info.

Zoja said...

This is one of those posts where I think the commentary is funnier than the actual cake! Seconding the comments about cupcake cakes being lame, and I'll take your word for it on the colored poo, better I don't see it for myself ;)

kisekileia said...

I have to admit, I think it looks pretty and possibly tasty, but I am disturbed by the idea of technicolour poo.

Flaim said...

Bummer! I missed the picture :(

A Bay Horse said...

Eeeeww... I went to a wedding (relationship to myself withheld to protect the guilty!) with a red cupcake tower. They had bright, neon, red frosting, which stained mouths, hands and "the dress". I bet the bride didn't plan on that happening when she ordered the color. I sensible declined to partake. My husband did not have as much forethought... they stained coming out too.

Congrats on the Blogs of Note!

Ironygirl said...

Thank you for your site. I really enjoy it- the cake pictures and especially the commentary have me laughing so hard.

Also, thank you for the link to sweetbabyjamesinfo.com. I read it in its entirety this week, and it was so inspirational. His parents are amazing people and make me want to try harder to be more like Jesus Christ. I will keep them in my prayers during this difficult time.

Juliamon said...

For those who question the cupcakes-as-cake concept:
My theory is that cutting a regular cake can be imperfect and could lead to "he/she got a bigger piece than I did!" Also, people are lazy and don't want to have to get out a knife.

Regardless, with nasty frosting like this, I don't think it even being a proper sheet cake would save it.

Ruth said...

I have never learned so much about the poo of so many in so little time.

Nabeel said...

the first picture has so many colors (from a design perspective) ... which is very pleasant.

Lizard said...

I especially like that it isn't technically a cake but an agglomeration of cupcakes, which somehow makes the teletubby poo analogy seem more apt.

That is one scary "cake." I almost-- almost-- want to see the blue poo... but I'm a doctor, so I tend to like the gross and weird things that the body can do with the right ingredients.

Lyz said...

I attended a kid's birthday with an underwater cake - the majority of it was purplish-blue. One friend was holding a plate with a slice when a kid ran in front of her, flipping the plate, and the cake, against her chest. And yes, she was wearing white. We told her she should just rub the cake all over her shirt, cause that stuff was NOT going to come out!

Also, we had to use baby wipes on every single kid's hands and mouth.

Skye said...

So much hate for the cakes that I have to make. Really people, the company sends us these designs and we have to make them!
Although this one is made wrong...
But despite all the hate it's getting here, whenever I make one of these flower garden ones it always sells really fast.

Zazzu said...

I love cake. I love cupcakes. But cupcakes pushed together to pass as a cake? Tacky!

Now, to be fair, if this is for a kids' party, I can kinda see the reasoning behind it. Just have the kids go at the glob of cupcakes and have lots of napkins on hand. But all the beers around makes me think that this likely isn't a kids' cake.

Grown adults should be able to cut one cake into slices. It can't be THAT hard.

I'm not even gonna get into the colored poo aspect. :)

Michele said...

Hehe, that frosting plus the beer would make some pretty interesting-looking puke too! o_O

danger girl said...

I don't think a super bitter hoppy beer like Sierra Nevada Pale Ale is the thing to have with cakes/cupcakes/sweets. Just sayin'...

Canaduck said...

Hey, uh, along with the other vegans here, I'd like to reiterate that we can eat just as much junk food as anybody else.

I love me some cupcakes and cookies! Possibly a little too much.

mika said...

your blog is so nice

you can visit me at:
http://photostricks.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

....I don't think it looks that bad. I'm vegan, but I've eaten worse (or at least equal). I'd just scrape the frosting off.

Trudi said...

I'm a professional cake decorator, and I make cupcake cakes as well as layer cakes, and people really like the ease for taking to school and out of the home to venues. I have to say that my cupcake cakes look nothing like the ones pictured here, they are always decorated more like regular cakes are, and always pretty/cool. Kids & parents love them! If your icing is falling off and making a mess, you didn't make it stiff enough to start with! On the poo note, when I have customers wanting cakes with blue/green/red/black icing, I always warn them that there will be consequences later on!

ClunyCapull said...

There are workplaces where you cannot take a knife- think mental hospitals, prisons, juvenile detention . . .

I would like the "I wanna see the poo" option also, as in click to see

How many would click?

Mawme Dearest said...

When I was a kid, my mother always told us blue anything caused cancer; she was a bit extreme but her point was well taken. If she ever saw these photos of blue icing she'd scold the person who made them!

*btw I'm a newbie and love your blog, so much fun!

アギーちゃん said...

hahaa teletubby poo

Kirchy said...

OK, folks, if you are thinking about a cupcake cake, PLEASE just precut the cake. All the extra frosting hanging off isn't saving the teacher any time in school.

You have 2 options: regular cupcakes with sprnkles or precut cake. The regular cupcakes are easier . Teachers prefer if all cupcakes are identical or your little angel will make a big deal of who gets the chocolate ones,

Either way, we sing the same "Happy Birthday".. Hey, we do that even without cupcakes.

bionelly said...

I forget what's it's called, but there's a medicine that will turn your pee blue, too. You know, in case anybody wants to color-coordinate.

Oh, and I would also like the option of seeing the poo!

Anonymous said...

Well the idea of cupcake cakes still seems a little odd, I really think cup cakes like the ones here are extremely cute and pretty well done:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hello_naomi/

I wouldn't mind getting some of those for my birthday!

Laura/Notepad said...

Is it terrible that I like that blue/purple colour? xD

Tev said...

Yikes, are you sure they're not using textile dyes?

Anonymous said...

I like cupcake cakes, and I don't think this one is that bad, except for the overwhelming amount of icing.

Jennifer Brooks said...

You know you are from New Orleans if you have had a crazy colored poo. We have lots of snowball stands that use food coloring in their syrup. Bubble gum flavor=blue dye=blue poo.

Anonymous said...

I think the cake is very funky, great colours, but I wouldn't want blue teeth and tongue. The chikdhood days of getting away with that kind of malarkey are long gone.
We bought a discounted Halloween cake in early November a few years back. You can imagine what the black and orange frosting did. Will there be spooky cake wrecks soon???
And I too am curious about the deleted pic. I missed it. No fair!

Victoria said...

I can definitely see the appeal of cupcake cakes for children's parties and the like-and hey, when you were a kid, didn't you always want a blue tongue? Then again, the... end result... is a little unsettling.

i beati said...

oh too much she says holding stomach yet wanting some cake

Rainman's Niece said...

If I eat Sam's Club cake and there is blue icing on it, my poo is green...I'm jealous you guys have blue poo.

plumpdumpling said...

I don't know; I've always felt really limited by how little control I have over the color of my poo. I enjoy that corn always seems to come out my back end full-kernel, but the rest is pretty disappointing.

Twistie said...

Prettily-iced cupcakes presented as individual cupcakes in a pleasing formation = Yay!

Scarily-iced cupcakes smashed together into one 'cake' = Really Bad Idea.

The color would be great on a blouse, but it's a bit disconcerting on a cake, to my taste.

And this is why I never, ever use food coloring in ANY food item.

MARZ said...

my mom ate blue cotton candy once and her poop was blue for DAYS - hahaha

Kim said...

What's so bad about the color? For time untold Play-Doh has had those well-loved colors. Those bright hues bring out the creativity in a child and...what?...it's what?...it's cake frosting? Oh, that's just nasty! As if it's not bad enough that each cupcake be slathered with a shade of blue that does not occur in nature - they've managed to connect several cupcakes into a mass of frosting terror...[dry heaving]

UptownHippie said...

I SO want to see the blue poo.

Fun poo fact: somebody mentioned poo being blue after eating lots of blueberries. But what's really wacky is that if a breastfeeding mother eats a lot of blueberries, her baby's poo will be blue. FREAKY!

Jennie C. said...

Blue Slurpies do the same thing!

plch said...

the chemical that colors your pee blue is methylene blue http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylene_blue
I'm told that also tongues are affected: years ago some of my mom's friends were victim of a prank, they ate cakes which had be dosed with methylen blue in grains, hey had blue tongues for days... I'd not have expected for people to get their tongue blue willingly eating blue cake...

Dr Zibbs said...

You're cute.

Anonymous said...

IN college, we used to buy cakes like this just to experience the aftereffects. And this is an accurate description.
~~~
http://phelpssaveschildren.blogspot.com

mattysoul said...

Oh my gosh! That looks soooo good. I could eat that in 1 sitting.

Celeste said...

I had teletubby poo from a really blue ccake made at maureen's Bakery in Sugar Land, Texas. maureen makes the most divine cakes! This particular cake was huge and very wonderful, and the blue got everywhere when you ate it. I was watching my boss eat a piece before an importnt meeting, she kept licking her lips and her whole mouth (lips, teeth, toungue) turn bright blue. I didn't have the heart to tell her and let her go to her meeting. :)

eek said...

From the TMI files: drink too much grape soda (pop, soft drink) and the poo is green.

Please don't ask me how I know that.

Marie said...

Everything about this is hee-larious! even the photo that was removed...removing it made it even funnier!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, so cupcake cakes for people not wanting to use a knife - but having the icing all stuck together like that? Kinda defeats the purpose.

j.fialho said...

Humm ... nham, nham, ...

so good.

Risha said...

While I don't necessarily want to eat that much icing or turn my poop to turn blue, I must admit that I really think that the cake looks great.

Anonymous said...

My Comment to Cake Wrecks

rejoin2me

migro said...

bleha... terrible photo!!!

Harley Dee said...

FYI, if you eat a lot of black icing, your poo will be BRIGHT green :)

teristoddard said...

I feel jipped. I wanna see the blue poo!

teristoddard said...

A few years ago our local paper had a story about kids from a certain neighborhood all having green poo. The parents were concerned it was from pollution. It was summer. I did day care for 35 years. I knew it was from the icee popsicles they sell in tubes. It took 2 or 3 articles before they figured it out. Cracked me up.

Chris said...

Tidy Bowl leaves the same color stain on your tongue.

Don't ask me how I know....

Ronnica said...

Yummy, yummy, yummy, pass me a cupcake!

I promise not to share what I'll be leaving in the bathroom later.

Lisa said...

Does anyone remember Screaming Saucers? They were little blue sour candies which turned your poo charming shades of blue and green.

Anonymous said...

I think Gargamel finally got ahold of all those Smurf's and made icing out of them!

Craig-aka-Anthony

Waynegrape said...

I ate a bunch of red buttercreme roses off of my nieces birthday cake and nearly rushed myself to the ER when I poo-pooed blood red the next day. I thought I ruptured my colon|

Thanks for brinbing that lovely time back to me..

WayneGrape

Rabacal said...

You are hilarious! I really enjoyed your blog.

Eleri Hamilton said...

Oooh, the food colouring!

My hubby and I can attest to this! Witness our wedding cake (from 2001):
http://www.tezhme.net/album/d/3473-2/wed033.jpg

Isn't it purty! Complete with little bride and goom cows (you had to have been there...) It looked just like what we wanted, white, with dark blue highlights.

And their tongues, lips and teeth turned very blue.

It was promptly dubbed, and is forever known as, the Smurf Blood Cake.

sumatra22 said...

OK, I'm waaay behind in commenting b/c I just found this blog. (and LOVE it.)

So I love cake...LOVE IT! However, what I really love is icing! Lots and lots of gooey, goopy, sugary fluff. So as sick as this may sound, that toxic-blue topper looks totally delicious. Yeah, I'm sick, but no sicker than those of you who keep talking about poo, LOL.

Great blog!

Angela said...

Thanks for the warning about the poo. I had a cupcake this weekend with very blue icing, so I only freaked out for one second before remembering.

Janie B said...

OMG! I did the same thing when I asked for DARK blue roses on my birthday cake. Let me tell you: navy blue roses=blue poo for a week....

I don't care for cupcake-cakes either.

Anonymous said...

I only count 24 beers in that photo. And since SNPA is sold in 12 packs it stands to reason that if more then 12 people worked in that office they would need more than one 12 pack. Hence the 'excessive' amount of beer. There are also around 30 cupcakes there so people would eat more vibrant colored cake and frosting than beer. And as someone who has drank plenty of beer, I think the frosting may be worse for you body.
Jerome

Mudhooks said...

Years ago, my best friend and I shared a house with a couple of brothers.

My friend and I still convulse over the day when one of the brothers (then about 35), obviously horribly distressed, came up to us and said....

"Um.... you two know a lot about health and stuff.... Ummmm.... errr.... I have a problem I am really worried about and.... ummmm I think it could be really serious... It's kind of personal".

He related how in the last few days his.... poo... had been shocking green. "I'm worried it might be cancer or something..."

I thought about it for all about two seconds and opined that the fact that he had been eating enormous amounts of green "shoestring" licorice might have something to do with this little "problem".

I'm sure he was relieved but I think his reaction was more of horror that not only had this not occurred to him but that he had just related this very personal problem and his stupidity to his female room-mate.

Mudhooks said...

Actually, I recall a friend telling me about when they went to Cuba and in the wee hours, barely two hours before they had to be up for the plane, they were still partying at the hotel bar.

The friend said after she was rather "over-lubricated" that someone persuaded her to have a gigantic "layered" drink of a number of different coloured liqueurs.

She said she didn't remember going back to her room or the ride from the hotel to the airport.

However, she vividly recalls lurching to the airplane bathroom and, quite literally having a "technicolour yarn". Apparently, the drink settled in her stomach in its layers and more or less returned that way.

Anonymous said...

I had a cupcake wedding cake (not a CCC- or should I say CCWC- but just cupcakes on a tiered stand) and wanted to pick royal blue icing like this since it was my wedding color. Luckily, my baker was a real pro and told me it would stain everybody's lips, teeth, tongues and hands, and encouraged me to go with a much lighter shade of blue!

nakia said...

my brother had blue icing on his like 3rd birthday cake and did a blue poo

Jacob said...

Was the word "vegan" just used in a blog post, and there were 110 comments at this writing, without a single anti-vegan one? I think that's a new record!

Anonymous said...

I had a blue tie-dyed cake for my 23rd birthday- despite being purchased from Super Wal-Mart, it was quite well done and looked lovely. My poo for the next three days was, incidentally, the same lovely shade of blue.

whizkidforte said...

How about Step 5: commit to the Feingold Diet program?

Moral of the blog post: keep your cupcake icing colors in pastel shades!

Anonymous said...

I dunno... I think this cake is pretty! I mean, yes EW to dreaded CCCs, and there is waaay too much icing here, but I love the colours - yay for food colouring!!!
(seriously people, are you THAT worried what your tongue looks like for a few hours???)
Plus I have to say maybe there's something weird about my digestive tract, but I use a lot of food colouring, and I've never had colourful poo of any kind... Maybe our colouring has different chemicals here in Australia...? (although I do use Wiltons!)

Anonymous said...

Could somebody post a link to a picture of 'the poop'?

Cupcakes Lady said...

I agree..I don't I have ever learned so much about the poo of so many in so little time. lol I love this blog. ;) xx