Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Reality Bites

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

NOTE: This post was written several days ago, and was not intended to be a commentary on any breaking news events. My sincere apologies to any who may find it offensive.

Cake artists, can we talk? I feel like we need to have a little heart-to-heart.

Ok, here's the deal: I know that you guys are talented - I do! - and I get that you like to showcase your talent with the cakes you make.

The only problem is, when you make something like this:

Well, no one wants to eat it.

Not to mention it's depressing; could that look any more funereal?

Look at it from the cake consumer's perspective: would you want to slice into a sleeping baby?

"I call butt!"

Or worse, have a toddler's eyeball staring up at you from your plate?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

So cake sculptors, please, stop making us choose between cake deprivation and feeling like a cannibal. If you must make a baby cake, make it nice and cartoony - preferably with no basis in reality whatsoever.

You know, like this:

Three arms, a gravity defying diaper, and crazy sunglasses? Yep, I'd eat that.

Heather S., Steven K., Michelle G., & Liz J., does that kid really have a 3rd arm sprouting from his chest? Why...I think he does. Pass the milk!

Update: Tons of you are saying that's a butt crack, not an arm. (The rest claim it's Epcot.) I can almost see that, but I still think it looks more like an arm. ;)

- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello
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Anonymous said...

I really only see two arms...am I crazy?

Nichole Loves Cake said...

I'll take the lower right hand corner of the first cake, please.

Pike Creek Coffee Roasterie, LLC said...

It's not 3 arms...it's a butt on the side of its body. Even ickier!!

Amanda said...

That toddler one is extra creepy. I'm glad there isn't a better photo!

Anonymous said...

and sleeping babies on tummy means much higher risk of cot death!!so a cake like the second one is really a bad idea all round

Dawn said...

I don't see 3 arms...I see 2 arms and a butt crack

Jen said...

I don't think that baby has three arms. I think it has two badly placed arms and a butt hanging out of the diaper that doesn't correspond at all to the placement of the torso or legs.

I mean, these things are rorschach tests, so who knows, but that's what i see.

Amy said...

Ok...I only see 2 arms and a butt crack on that last cake. The baby has it's back facing us. I agree though...it's kind of gross thinking of part of a realistic baby sitting on your plate. THANK YOU! I never understood wanting to eat someone's face or a body part.

Barb said...

*shudder* In the last one I think it was an attempt at a side view, and what looks like an arm behind his back is actually... butt crack? It's wrecktastic no matter what.

Fluffy Cow said...

The pirate kiwi baby scares me. Is there some significance to the gelatinous fruit?

I shall refrain from commenting about the others... everything I want to say comes out bad. Very bad.

Carly said...

I'm pretty sure that "arm" on the right is his um.. how do I put it? Butt crack lol.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid that the "digging' arm might actually represent a "crack". Everything is much more in your face now.

Wide Awake Wife said...

The first 2 are beautifule but I agree; not something I would want to eat!


mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

I originally thought that was a third arm also but now I'm thinking the one on the right is actually butt crack. Yum!

Anonymous said...

actually... i think that "arm" on the right is his baby butt crack.

Anonymous said...

on the bottom, rather than having a 3rd arm, I think the right (as you are looking at the cake)side is supposed to be his bum. Admittedly I had to look at it for about 4 minutes before that became apparent.

Judy said...

I had to cross and uncross my eyes several times before I could see that the 3rd arm inside the diaper is actually his little butt crack. OW, my head hurts!

avocadohead said...

To 'defend' the cakemakers, I thnik the second arm is really the baby's backward cleavage. OK, now the baby has a serious hip condition

Andree Arendt said...

I thought it was a third arm, too, but it's right arm, left/chest arm and then there's the arm that looks like the baby has a hand stuck in the diaper. That one is actually a butt cheek. Bizarre.

Anonymous said...

i don't think it has 3 arms, i think it's butt is in the front!!

jenhappy said...

That's not a third arm -- it's a butt cheek! Which means that we can add to the list of oddities the fact that this is a contortionist (or exorcist!) baby!

Yanicka said...

It's not an arm it's his butt

But yea.... I do not feel like eating a baby too

Anonymous said...

I'm not seeing three arms. One pointing at the mouth, one sprouting from the chest and pointing at the diaper pin. That's it.

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

"Not the mama! Not the mama!" - the third cake.

http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Baby-in-High-Chair-dinosaurs-518773_308_320.jpg


myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

Bill's Bayou said...

It's not a three armed baby. What you see as the center arm is actuall the child's right arm. What you see as a the right-most arm with a hand down the diaper, is the butt crack. It's hideous just the same.

I agree on the cannibalistic cakes. Ewww, just ewww.

Liz said...

I don't see the third arm. I see a diaper falling down to expose the baby's butt. Am I missing something?

Anonymous said...

I saw a third arm at first glance also, however I think one of those are is his butt. I would awfully tempted to make a baby cake also, so cute... but yeah no eating it which of course defeats the purpose of being a cake.

Unknown said...

I think that what looks like an arm on the right hand side is actually a buttcrack, but I'm not certain. The cake is strange all the same.

Alex Getts — Art & Illustration said...

If what I think you're referring to as the third arm is what I think it is, I believe it's supposed to be his bum crack. But that just raises more questions about that right arm.

delaina said...

I'm looking and looking and I can't spot the 3rd arm. Is it hiding or right in front of me? Awesome/ugly cake.

Madd said...

I'm not seeing the three arms thing at all. I do see a whole lot of baby butt crack though. Someone needs to spackle that thing! Maybe a little Boudreaux's Butt Paste will do the trick.

MarieA said...

oh my GOODNESS!! You're so right. I wouldn't want to eat or slice any part of a sleeping baby.

Who does this? Who orders them and really... who eats them?
shuddering and thinking... this is kinda creepy too.... well the three armed bandit baby... just bad. ( and not the good kind of bad)

Tauney Owl said...

I think he's actually turned sideways and has his butt hanging out of his Pampers....no third arm, just poor perspective on the decorator's part.

Anonymous said...

I think that is butt crack on the right side. He's looking over his shoulder.
Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

My six year old looked at the last photo and told me the arm on the right is actually his "butt cheek".

Just Jim said...

I don't think that's 3 arms.
I think that's supposed to be baby buttcrack on a severely twisted child.
Scoliosis cake anyone?

M. Peregrine Barr said...

that's supposed to be the baby's arse on the right, and his two arms on the left. but the decorator didn't make the legs right, so it looks like there are extra arms. i never understood what is so cute about a baby's diaper falling off.

Dan said...

No no no, the cartoony baby only has two arms; the one sticking out of his "chest" is his left arm, and the one in his mouth is his right arm... The "armpit" towards the right edge of the cake is actually his butt crack (and not an arm digging around in his diaper)! We're seeing him from behind, with his head turned towards us...

Of course, he's still a bit anatomically off, but at least he's not a mutant...lol

Manda said...

I think the "3rd arm" on the back is his butt crack. Possible over the shoulder coy baby? Which really does not help the creepy factor in anyway.

360_gandering said...

The feet are facing away from you, with the body twisted to face toward the (viewer's) left. What seems at first glance to be a third arm, off to the viewer's right, is actually the baby's right buttock - exposed by the drooping diaper.

mary said...

that's not a third arm. what you think is his left arm is actually his buttcheek. (unless im crazy and missing an actual third arm...)

Simone said...

I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be the baby's butt crack, not a third arm. I just can't decide if that's better or worse.

Anonymous said...

I just want to know what that last one is digging for. More chocolate filling, anyone?

Howard Tayler said...

It's not a third arm. The thing you think is his left arm (right of image) is actually his left butt-cheek.

But what you said is funnier. And it really is hard to interpret that pose in the way the wreckorator imagined it.

Anonymous said...

Is the airbrushed kid scratching his butt??? Definatley looks that way from this angle! :o

ErinB said...

Where is the third arm? I only see two. One from the chest and one where it should be. Please help.

sophanne said...

not to mention a slight case of eczema

Wayward Son said...

Dare I say it?

The fondant on the sleeping baby cake is as smooth as a baby's bottom!

MC said...

I think that arm on the right is actually his butt/crack. So just two arms!

Anonymous said...

The "in the buff" sleeping baby is adorable, but would I want to cut into it? NO WAY!!!

Christa said...

After looking and looking and feeling very odd for looking some more...I think it's his butt cheek not an arm.
But it's still horrible....
and I almost threw up when I saw the first one...it's really funeral-ish. I don't know how someone could stand back and say awwwww so cute...it's more like awww so sad

Anonymous said...

I think you're confusing this so-called "baby's" butt-crack with a third arm - look again! Those two little midget appendages are the arms, the other thing is descending down into the diaper.....

terry lee said...

hey there,

have been enjoying and laughing myself to tears reading cakewrecks each morning ... but have never commented.

love the cakewrecks and especially your commentary. v. funny stuff! and congrats on your recent funny blog award!

i agree, the first cake is v. morbid, like a dead baby (albeit lovely and sweet) lying in a casket. i'll pass on eating that one.

thanks for the daily laughs! keep up the great work.

terry lee

Evan said...

Sadly, he only has two arms - the other one is his right butt cheek.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was a 3rd arm too!!

Upon further inspection I think its SUPPOSED to be the baby's butt.

But, i still see 3 arms and its much funnier that way!!

tangeria said...

perhaps there is some latent agression being expressed in the ultra realistic cakes, because i don't think anyone could feel *good* about eating a baby.


i love this site forever,
tangeria

Prue said...

I feel that the 3rd arm in question is actually the definition of it's bottom. The angle is strange and makes it appear to have 3 arms...

Jens Knudsen (Sili) said...

If that's a third arm, then where do you see the second arm? I can't spot any other left arms.

Nicole Perry said...

I think the line on the back is supposed to be his little baby butt, hanging out of the diaper. But yeah, three arms sounds more fun.

Carmiehead said...

Nah, it's not three arms. The baby (and I use the term loosely) has its back to us. That's his/her... um... split? The baby is standing facing away and is turned back towards us, embarassed at the... erm... bare @ss. Voila. (It's still fugly, though.)

Carmiehead

Anonymous said...

That's not a third arm. What you think is the baby's left arm is actually its back and a butt cheek, I'm pretty sure!

Unknown said...

I can't see the third arm on the cartoon baby cake... is my wreckdar broken?

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm one of those people that isn't grossed out by cakes that look like humans. In fact, it would be even better if the cake was red velvet! Pass me the left ear!

And that baby has quite an enormous backside. Maybe the kid's destined to be a future plumber??

Matt said...

I'm pretty sure the "third arm" is supposed to be a butt crack ala the Coppertone baby.

C Tam said...

Took me a solid five minutes of examining, but I am proud to say that third arm on the right is really bum crack. What a relief. The bum's position even [almost]begins to explain the "gravity defying diaper" appearance.

Ashley said...

At first I was like, why is that baby's hand down in his diaper. Then I realized that was supposed to be his bum...
Oh.
Not nearly as good of a story...

Diane said...

I do believe that 3rd arm may in fact be a poorly-conceived attempt at bottom crackage.

Anonymous said...

Mmm, I'd dare say that's no 3rd arm sprouting from the cool fella's chest, but his back and what comes below... oh yeah!

Btw, I'd like to see a naked mohawk baby riding a carrot sculpted in cake for a baby shower, now that WOULD rock (any baker out there willing to try?? Pleeeeeeeeease =D)

Kelly said...

I can only see two arms! I feel left out!

Anonymous said...

Am I missing something? I don't see a third arm. I see one pointing to the mouth, one in the middle, and a butt crack. So the baby is twisted to the side so you can see it's backside. Did I miss the 3rd?

Doug D. said...

I hope I'm not the 83,039,483,754th person to point this out (since the comments come out in bunches and none appear yet), but that's not 3 arms. That's 2 arms and a butt. A butt sticking out above the diaper. The baby is looking back over his left shoulder. We are seeing the back of the baby's legs. The perspective is making me a little seasick.

Also, is that kiwi and hard-boiled eggs up in the corner?

Jessica Samantha said...

LOL, love the chinese cake!!

Unknown said...

The top cake really does look like a funeral.
So disturbing.

Anonymous said...

These cakes are always disturbing, but they are especially so after the news from Texas yesterday. (Sorry, but it's all I can think about.)

April said...

I'll admit that the decorators are good at what they do, BUT, there's no way I'd eat ANY of those cakes. Just too creepy.

As for the last cake. I believe he's only got two arms and what looks to be an arm in his diaper is actually his butt. LOL It took me a minute to figure it out, but with no depth or shadows it's hard to tell.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

It'd be worse if they were all red velvet cakes.

Unknown said...

Where are there 3 arms?

The first two are WAAAAAY too realistic. I couldn't possibly eat those cakes.

The Momma said...

I think what you think is a third arm is in fact a butt-cheek. -Kristina

Alison said...

How could you pass up that arm stuffed into the back of the diaper? Do you REALLY want to eat that??

Noelle said...

with the "3 arm baby" - i think its his butt crack....just my guess...

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Ok, I have to ask....where are you seeing 3 arms in the last pic? One in the mouth, one by the safety pin, one....??? Isn't the back part a weird side view of the butt crack? This is driving me crazy!! I don't see ARM #3!!

Hallie :)

Paul and Janene said...

I think the "arm" on the right is the baby's right buttock (baby is looking over its left shoulder). It still makes the legs disproportionate and the diaper more oddly held up.

queendonna said...

oh my .. that third arms KILLS ME!

Anonymous said...

Looking at the last one, I think it's supposed to be looking back over its shoulder, so the 2 things on the (reader's) left, well the left and center, are arms and there is supposed to be a bare bum peeking out of the diaper. But it does look more like a shoulder and arm!

ME! said...

I don't see a third arm... is it just me? I do see a strangly located arm. I'll give ya that. And the sunglasses without arms, well, those are fun. :')

The Tieman Family said...

ummm, I don't see a third arm--I think he's just turned at a weird angle so you can see 'crack' above the daiper- Jennifer

Anjanette said...

I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be a buttcrack... It just isn't centered with the legs.

afarrell said...

i think that cartoon baby has 2 arms and a bizarre bum....

Ellis said...

Wait, three arms? I think I see two arms and a misaligned... butt crack.

Anonymous said...

I think that what you are seeing as the baby's leftmost arm is actually his, umm... crack. He's kind of twisted around, mooning us.

Tigerwolf said...

In order:

Aaaaauuuugggghh! It’s the “Baby Lenin” cake!

Because when I think “cake,” I think “naked baby butt”!

Disembodied bug-eyed baby head will float in your nightmares foreeevvvveeeeerrrrrr!!!

“Veeerrrrryyy interesting! But shtoopid!”

^..^

Laurie T. said...

That's not a third arm! The right-most "arm" is part of his little bottom. He's got plumber's butt!!

Anonymous said...

I feel like the second cake is going to produce one of those swirly little brown cakes any minute.

WV: firmatin = the medicine you'll need after viewing these cakes.

Anita K. said...

Oh, heavens. I think that last baby is actually supposed to be turned sideways and what LOOKS to be an arm over on the right is actually his butt crack... like that makes it any better... Maybe I prefer 3 arms to butt crack cake. BLERGH. %(

Unknown said...

i THINK what looks to be the "baby"'s left arm with its hand rummaging through its diaper for buried treasure is *supposed* to be asscrackage. i think. i could be wrong. and i kinda hope i am, because now i totally want mutant baby cake.

H to the N said...

His left arm is no arm at all. It's a butt crack! Which makes it even worse in my book.

Jennie said...

I think the one line is supposed to be his butt? weird. I like the idea of three arms better.

Jenna said...

I think the arm to the far right is in fact his tushie. Which of course means that he is, in fact, an owl. Pass the forks, please.

Pete said...

Come on now, the "third arm" on the far right is really the baby's butt crack. Anyone can see that. Mmmm. Pass me a fork.

Anonymous said...

Funereal is right! I was thinking, "Is that baby dead?" and "WHY would you make a cake celebrating a baby's death?"

That last cake? The lack of proportion! It boggles the mind.

ND said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FroneAmy said...

You have to kind of squint to see that the baby with three arms really only has two arms and an exposed butt crack. And the pose, turning over your shoulder with one finger in your mouth is a little...odd to see an infant in.

Wilhelmina said...

I see two arms, and a perspective-defying butt on that last one. Perhaps the decorator was channeling Picasso?

Tanis said...

i dont think its a third arm- i think its a butt crack coming out of the falling down diaper like the coppertone kid.

kraven said...

Anyone else seeing the Burger Kind as a child in the third cake?

Creepy even then.

-Kate

Mella said...

the first cake reminds me of a sad Six Feet Under Episode

Melinda said...

Jen, please don't have a Spaceship Earth freak out over the "three armed baby" comments. Okay? Okay.

Now...the first cake is gorgeous! But I would be mortified if that showed up at my baby shower (I assume it is a baby shower cake). I'm with you, cutesy fake babies or I'm not eating.

Laurie said...

Thay third cake is even funnier now. It's like an optical illusion test..."DO you see an arm or a butt crack?"

Like those optical illusions that ask "Do you see an old hag or a pretty young girl?" or "Do you see a vase or a Silhouette."

Suzyhomemaker said...

Another reason not to have a baby shower cake :)

Louie Hannen said...

I feel like I'm missing out on all of the fun unless I type the words "butt crack".

Hrm. That wasn't as satisfying as I thought it'd be.

c3 said...

Wow. Baby with Plumber's Crack. Who knew it could start so early?

I think this cake is meant to address the nature vs nurture debate, and is clearly saying that plumber's crack is genetic. Quite a controversial stand, I must say.

I want to see their studies to back it up!

Ream O Rama said...

Sorta like an Escher baby isn't it? Is his head turned backwards or his back turned frontwards?

Lena said...

He only has two arms- what you think is an arm is actually the babies bum. It does kinda look strange. I had to look hard to figure it out. love your blog by the way.

Blondie said...

Why in the world do these bakers think we want to eat butt crack?

ErinMSW said...

Wow...at first glance I just thought these were weird. But then I re-read it (as I always do, for extra giggles), and I caught the mention of the word "cannibalistic," and I got the connection to that horrific news out of Texas. **shudder**

:::b r a n d i::: said...

I just want to say that those are creepy cakes, and I totally agree that the first one looks very funeralistic.

and I'd like to add, since only about 55 other posters already have, that the third arm is a butt cheek.

We get it folks.

Jenny said...

Is it just me, or does that first cake look like it belongs more at a funeral than a baby shower?

Anonymous said...

I think the first cake would be less funereal if the baby's arms were up above it's head instead of at it's side. Then it would look more like the baby was just sleeping.

And the last one is definitely not 3 arms. At first glance, I saw a baby looking over it's shoulder with it's diaper falling off it's bum. After reading the comments, and looking at the picture again, I can see where you would think the baby was looking head-on and had 3 arms, though.

S3XinthePantry said...

I'll have pie!

the ginabean said...

eating babies is wrong, no matter what. even in cake form.

ilovebabyquilts said...

Wow, all media should really have a sad baby warning on it, when appropriate. As someone who has buried a baby just the age of the one in the first cake, it sucks to have it jump out at you. That's a hard left on the emotional roller coaster when you're not expecting it.

Fiona said...

It took me a while to work it out, but what looks like its left arm tucked into its diaper is actually its butt crack. Take another look: Its supposed to be looking back at you over its shoulder with the diaper partially pulled down...OMG THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!!! That will haunt my dreams forever...what has been seen cannot be unseen.....

Ali said...

totally creeptastic. I feel like saying, "can I have some umbilical cord?"

Stephanie said...

I totally saw 3 arms right away, creepy. After looking closer I can tell what the cake artist was going for, but sure didn't execute it well.

Tonya said...

If I were playing the "that's not a third arm, it's a butt crack" drinking game while reading these comments, I'd be thoroughly drunk by now.

Jennifer said...

Haha... that third arm is a butt crack! Too funny. Great post!

Rawr said...

This is turning into the Spaceship Earth fiasco all over again lol.

Danielle Alberti said...

I know that you removed your post about horse cakes when it was posted right after the polo horse deaths, so I thought I might point this out. I love your blog, and I know you didn't do this on purpose, but some might find it distasteful. (This story is not for the faint of heart)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/5920714/Mother-decapitated-newborn-and-ate-his-brain-Texas-police-say.html

Maria Claudia said...

I live near San Antonio and was surprised at the irony of your post after the horrific story about the mother here...I can't even bring myself to say what she did.

Anonymous said...

What news out of Texas? Could y'all link to the post? And while you're at it make the page not silver-on-blue so it is readable?

Kristina said...

My four year old's reaction to the naked sleeping baby cake: She baked her baby into a cake! Her baby's dead!

GJC said...

Having read all the comments (every...single...one...), I am moved to say "Spaceship Earth! Spaceship Earth!"

However, the soundtrack in my head sounds suspiciously like the B-52's...

"Butt crack! Bebeh butt CRACK!/ Butt Crack! Bebeh butt CRACK!"/
"The buutt-crack/is a little ol' place where/two cheeks come togetherrrrr/Butt crack bay-beeee"
"BUTT CRACK BABY!" "Butt-craa-a-ack!/That's where it's at!/Butt-cra-a-ack!/That's where it's at!"

I shall resist, albeit grudgingly, the temptation to go on.

wv: emonib--what REAL old-school Goths use to write their angsty poetry. "The Hot Topic kids can HAVE their ballpoint pens; TRUE vampires write with emonibs."

Melissa Wood (née Hazelton) said...

(1) I really don't see a third arm.... I'm not sure what I'm missing.

(2) I'm sooooooo glad someone finally said it! I've been looking at all the Baby shower cakes that are babies and mommies and thinking, of the good ones, they're pretty, and realisitic sure, but, but, I can't EAT that! Sometimes too real is a problem. Honestly, it's rather disturbing! Thank you for proving I'm not the only one thinking it! :)

mandy said...

Thanks for adding the note about the news events as of late. As someone who lives a few miles from where this took place, it's been horrific to watch it on tv nonstop then catch the article online when looking to laugh for a few. Then again, I have a morbid sense of humor and figured, "of course coincidence would bring a post like this after such a horrible thing; that's how it always happens."

Love your site!!

Dea said...

Gladys - you're my HERO!!! LMAO! Of course, I'll curse you in a few hours after having that in my head! :D

kate said...

(I don't intend for this comment to be posted, just wanted to put in my two cents.)

I saw the post about the cakes and have always been vaguely creeped out by the baby cakes, but that's because they're kind of creepy.

Then I saw the tweet about the backlash to the post and couldn't imagine why. THEN I saw the disclaimer on the post and after a little bit of digging I found the story about the woman in Texas.

THESE ARE CAKES MADE IN THE SHAPE OF BABIES. That's it. There are weird/sick/disgusting people out there and terrible tragedies happen every day. You can link ANYTHING, even an innocent birthday cake, to a tragedy if you try hard enough. This is CLEARLY not a post condoning/making fun of/or even commenting on (except now, for the disclaimer) the woman in Texas or her actions.

There will also always be people who overreact or see everything as something about them. These people should not have too much attention paid to them. Pandering to them makes even MORE crazies come out, and even MORE people get offended when you don't listen to THEIR gripes and complaints.

I wouldn't pull the post, I wouldn't even have commented on it. If you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one. Keep up the good work with your blog and if someone wants to link a cake to a sick woman they are going to do so with or without your blog. If someone is going to be horrified because they had a baby that died, and how dare you put up a post about babies on cakes without warning them, they're going to do that anyway.

I've learned that if you stay out of these people's way that's much better for everyone. Commenting and debating and removing posts just adds fuel to their fire.

Kami said...

Okay, it took me a while, but I saw the third arm!! It's like one of those Magic Eye books.

Jen, don't worry - you're right that it's obviously a third arm - if you look at the baby's thighs first you can conclude the butt is not a butt because the thighs stick out more and SHOULD NOT.

Now we have to figure out why the baby is wearing his diaper sideways .... hmmmmm ....

MGianniny said...

wow, hadn't heard the story about Texas...but those are still some wrecktastic cakes!

maxon said...

Well, I'm glad some of you explained the three-arm thing because when I saw that I was completely WTF????

carriedavis81 said...

In case someone hasn't already said it... *intense sarcasm ahead* I don't think that's three arms, I think it's the baby's butt crack. (Sorry, does no one even glimpse at the other comments before saying the exact same thing 300 times?)
Anyway, love your blog, whenever I get down I read old posts and laugh until I cry (happy tears) :)

Tana said...

considering the new from the past 24 hours about the woman in texas who cannibalized her real 3.5 week old infant, this wasn't NEARLY as funny as it should be. Ironic, yes, but funny? Well, it just stirred the nausea I felt reading about the real news.

Nichole <3s Cake said...

Sorry for your loss, I Love Baby Quilts.

I looked at your blog, what you do is truly beautiful.

jess said...

AAAAAAHHHHHH, dead baby cake!!! The first one looks so much like a funeral it is just too creepy for words.
And the second...I know the saying 'never wake a sleeping baby' but now it needs to be changed to 'never eat a sleeping baby'

Anonymous said...

Okay, seriously people. How about reading the comments before posting the same thing like a million times?

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Kate,

I hope you don't mind that I put up your comment. It was well thought out and didn't mention butt cracks so hey.

Let me know if you want me to pull it.

john

Abby said...

Note to everyone: Do not make baby cakes. Ever.

(Some of those don't even look like babies...)

Wilhelmina said...

Anonymous, comments are moderated before they're posted. So even though it looked like there were no comments when I posted my first comment, in fact, 8 jillion other people had already said it, but I couldn't see it yet.

Kathryn H said...

It is definitely a three armed baby. I was wondering why the extra arm was dangling in between where the nipples should be.
I wonder if the vestigial appendage has bones? It appears to just dangle there--a flaccid third arm.
Those that saw a but crack are much more creative--and maybe flexible, than I am.

Hey Courtnay said...

@ Anonymous re: News

I had no idea what news they were talking about either... I google-newsed it and was HORRIFIED.

See: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/6550129.html

I don't see anything macabre about this post though... The intent is pure. Cake Wrecks & People Wrecks are thankfully two different kinds of websites.

jengersnap said...

The second one screams "Butterball Baby". Definately a cannibalist's dream cake.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Wilhelmina,

It was 7.5 jillion. Though I usually moderate the first hour pretty continuously, I was busy racqetballing this morning and Anne- Marie, our lovely wrecksistant, doesn't get to them until 10:00. Oh well. Long live Epcot!!!

john

DM Donna said...

Well...the diaper on that last cake shown really throws off the whole image of the baby. Since neither the baby's left shoulder nor the usual waist indentation are clearly defined, at first glance, it looks as though the child has its left hand jammed into the diaper (and/or the left arm is kind of behind its back.) That would make the dinky little limb that is located in the middle of the poor tyke's chest some sort of vestigal (spelling?) appendage...it's a mutant baby. Another mind-blowingly weird thing about the image is that if the diaper is supposed to be (ahem) just about to fall off the baby's butt, then why is the diaper directly under the baby's right armpit? (heh...this whole thing is just TOO surreal!)

jackie31337 said...

I'm with team buttcrack on this one. Baby is standing with his/her back to us looking over his/her shoulder. The leftmost arm is the baby's right arm. The "middle" arm is the baby's left arm. The "right arm" is the curve of the baby's back and a buttcrack.

WV: unausis. These cakes are making me nauseous. Unausis too?

laurie pink said...

I'm more troubled by the baby on the white blanket, which appears to have microcephaly (the condition that 'pinheads' in freak shows would have).

I suppose it works if your baby *has* been born with microcephaly, but you'd think the parent of a newborn baby with such a condition would be more distracted by the physical ramifications of such & the baby's health to ring up the cake shop and say "Hey! Quick change to ask for..."

Unless it was a correction made by a helpful friend: "Oh, she'll LOVE that touch!"

Emily E. said...

Whether it's a third arm or not- there is absolutely nothing right about that last cake.

jackie31337 said...

Gladys said However, the soundtrack in my head sounds suspiciously like the B-52's... "Butt crack! Bebeh butt CRACK!

Gladys, you are my new hero!

Mandy said...

I KNOW that obviously this post wasn't meant to offend, but as someone who is a loyal follower of this blog I just find it distasteful to post given the gruesome event from Texas. I'm not saying you should try to please everyone, but that whole thing is so horrifying and even unintentionally referencing it is exceptionally un-funny.

Anonymous said...

Wilhemina,

My bad! I didn't know they had to be approved first :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the unfortunate timing, Jen. I thought you just had baby showers on the mind for whatever reason, especially since this followed yesterday's sonogram post. Or maybe I do, since we're expecting a baby shower invitation any day now from the couple whose wedding we recently attended - during the ceremony the priest prayed at least 5 times for God to grant the couple children, to which both mothers barely contained themselves from shouting, "Amen!" (Oh, and the wedding cake was absolutely lovely, not at all wrecktastic, with real, proper ribbon elegantly placed and no icing mishaps. Very sad for a wannabe wreckporter. And I suspect they'll have an equally tasteful and well done baby shower cake. Sigh. My friends are too nice and normal and sane sometimes.)

Auntie Meme said...

Where's the giant carrot for lifesize naked baby?
P.S. Best word verification ever: foophott.

SnacksGiving said...

Oh boy! Those cakes are cute! Sure no one would wanna eat them. I love your site..and have just subscribed to it as well. BTW, I would really like it if you could visit my blog and/or give me some comments. Thanks!
http://snacksgiving.blogspot.com/

Hali Chambers said...

Well. I won't mention butt crack, since everyone else has. And Kate has said very eloquently what I was thinking. So: ditto on all fronts. Wreck on! :-) H.

sarah said...

ha, i wondered if you were going to comment on the weird baby-eating coincidence.

Anonymous said...

I've been staring at the blue cake (baby Lenin?)for a while, covering my mouth with the fingers and shaking the head in slow repeated movements. WTF oh my gooooooodness, WTF

Someday I'd like to write cake-wreck inspired poetry. It might look cool in a future Platinum edition of the Cakewrecks book

Unknown said...

It's like the vase/face optical illusion. You can see a vase or two faces in profile, but not both at the same time.

Man these cakes so creep me out as I can't look at the without thinking of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal.

Emily said...

The first cake looks exactly like one of those Memento Mori photographs from the late Victorian. It's...disturbing, really.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, this is like an optical illusion cake. I saw three arms at first, but now I see two arms and a butt crack, and it keeps shifting. Seriously though, if you look at the cake, it's like the butt is coming out toward you, and the rest of the baby is turned away from you, except the baby has turned its head to face you.

Shannon said...

I FINALLY SEE THE THIRD ARM!!! Now my day is complete. Thank you to Dan for your awesome description of how to see it.

Nichole Loves Cake said...

I just became privy to the story you are referring to and I think I'm going to be sick.

Lucia said...

OHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The first cake was, SOOOO cute!

That last cake was, so, um, ahem.

~Lucia

Peachkins said...

Yeah, defnitely a butt crack and not a third arm- but it's probably just as bad that the other arm seems to be sticking out of the kid's back.

That head cake with the crown on it? CREEEEEEEPY.

Anonymous said...

"[i]Also, is that kiwi and hard-boiled eggs up in the corner?[/i]"

Doug D., looking at the scale of the "eggs" compared to the kiwi slices and strawberries beside them, I'm guessing those are actually peeled lychee fruit.

And I totally saw mutant 3-armed baby, I had to look again, after reading that it was probably butt-crack, before I could make out the derrierre. Yup, totally an optical illusion cake!

Laura said...

I just found the story that you mentioned, and I, too, want to throw up...Jen, I know you had no bad intentions whatsoever, and I'm not normally sensitive about these things or quick to be offended, but I think the post should be taken down and reposted at another time, like the horse post. Just unlucky timing. That poor child...

Furry Bottoms said...

That butt baby.... is it supposed to be human? No offense I swear, but have you looked at the face?

Anonymous said...

Must... resist... inappropriate... baby shower flashback... comment....

Shoot. Pass me some 3rd arm / buttcrack. Hope it's chocolate.

bethtrue said...

I saw 3 arms too and had to think for a moment before seeing it as a butt crack. Either way its pretty weird.

Mandy said...

"NOTE: Today's original post of horse cakes has been pulled due to some horrendously bad timing on the part of the universe. (I was out of the country until yesterday, and so only learned of the tragic polo horse deaths this morning.) Rest assured that I'm not that intentionally insensitive, and I certainly meant no offense to horses or horse-lovers. I'll run the original post again in a few weeks, but for today, enjoy this classic Wreck rerun from the CW archives."

This was from April 23 about horses. Horses. The horse post did go up later, just not on such an unfortunately-timed day as it was originally intended. I think on any other day I would have thought the baby cake thing is funny, but not right now.

See, when I read things like "no one wants to eat it" "slice into a sleeping baby" and "feeling like a cannibal", I can't help but think about the story on the news about the lady from Texas that decapitated her baby, ate his brain and chewed off his toes. Call me sensitive, but that affects me way more than polo horses.

Unknown said...

Clay is very like fondant, and stone like frozen cake. Perhaps the artists would prefer to make a more lasting, less edible version of their subjects to stand next to the dessert. One that lasts and doesn't have to be destroyed. They are beautiful, time-intensive and expensive works of art, these cakes. They should be made out of a medium that won't be turned into beautiful, expensive feces the next day.

LeeAnn said...

Does anyone else recognize baby #2? It's odo from DS9- seriously, check out the ear!

Liz said...

Iain, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought of "A Modest Proposal" when I saw these. We had to read that in college, and I make me so nauseous.

Sorry about the bad timing, Jen. I saw the Twitter post and checked out the story, how horrifying.

Anonymous said...

Ditto to Kate :)

Lets not go around taking down all postings of babies today and hiding any products that pertain to babies in all the stores etc. etc. etc. Sadly, there are tragedies that happen somewhere in the world every minute of everyday. Lets not try to make connections where they don't exist.

Chaely said...

I'd only buy that it was a buttcrack and not a third arm if you could explain to me why the legs & cheeks don't line up anatomically.

Michelle S. said...

Wads of heavy, excessively-handled, play-doh fondant turns my stomach no matter what shape it's painstakingly molded into. To be honest, I'd be happy to eat a baby cake if it had buttercream on it. I long for the days when eating cake was like kissing an angel, not swallowing bubble gum.

Dawnspring said...

Oh man, first the accidentally poor timing of the horse wrecks, and now this with baby wrecks!

I'm happy you didn't pull this post like you did with the Horse one. I felt you shouldn't have had to pull that one either. You can't help what will be in the news on any given day!

You acknowledged that it's not intentional and you mean no offense and moved on. Bravo!

---

It's official. The most psychotic cakes out there are all baby shower related. You can't blame it on the mom-to-be's hormones because they usually aren't the ones ordering the cake. Wanna know how sick and deranged someone is? Send them to the Kroger bakery counter!

Oh, and I'm one of those who saw three baby arms. @_@ Yiiiiikes!

Tara Bergin said...

Hey Jen, John, and Anne-Marie!

I agree with what Kate said. Honestly, you cannot possibly be expected to know every news story as it happens, and even if you could, this site is about CAKES. Not cannibals, so you shouldn't take any posts down. And really, as sorry as I am for I Love Baby Quilt's loss, a baby warning? That's just ridiculous.

Anyway, I think I could still eat these cakes, buttcracks and 3rd arms notwithstanding (they are made of cake after all!).

But then again, I'm going to a restaurant in Japan next month called Cannibalistic Sushi, Tokyo where you eat a person made out of sushi as if you're operating on them. Clearly I am a medical (albeit veterinary) student! :)

I love your blog! Don't let the crabby commenters get you down!

Tara

Kait W. said...

I think they said something like that on "Ace of Cakes" once. Sure, they can make a cake that looks like your dog, but...do you *really* want to slice up your dog and eat it?

Heather said...

Remember, we only make what they order, or at least MOST of us do...there are those who go insane. I have to agree, I refuse to make things that make you eat parts of people or children.

sendinthenewclowns said...

HI!
I'm commenting on a funny cake blog!!
I love the funny cake blog!!!
It's funny!!!!
And FUN!!!!!!
PERIOD.

*YIKES*

That second one from the top--look at the size of the HONKER on that poor kid. (The parents are arguing over which side of the family he/she resembles.)
And everyone is skirting the issue of...well...that ear.
Anyway, if no one wants to actually cut the cake because it looks "too real" (riiiight), I think that ear would make a pretty decent ashtray...
Anyone got a light?

sendinthenewclowns said...

Baby Cakebed makes me think of something else....
Hmmm...what the heck WAS it, now...?
Oh, yeah--I remember now!
It was that thing that French woman supposedly said about poor people:
"What? They have no cribs? Then let them sleep on cake!"
=^--^=

Anonymous said...

OH!! It's an arm but if he had his hand down the side his diaper! Makes so much sense now...it's like the old lady/young lady picture.

Sparky said...

@ Egan-
I understand your sensitivity. While recent news is horrifying and the story made me sick, the fact of the matter is that life has to go on. If everybody censored things every day because of something in the news, well, something tells me there would be a lot less funny in the world.

If these cakes are anything to go by, it's never okay to have a baby of any kind on a cake! Yeesh.

Long time lurker, first comment.
Wreck on!

Anonymous said...

i work at a funeral home and we buried a baby last week. i kid you not it looked EXACTLY like that first cake in his casket though i can't imagine celebrating the event with a 'dead baby cake'. eeeek.

t.a.c.k.y.

Sam said...

So wrong, so wrong. I cannot believe that people actually go to their baker and ask for this crap. Just amazing. I love you site and am always on the look out for cake wrecks, but I haven't spotted any yet. I'm sure it will happen soon.

Sam
http://anrratedblog.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I watch the morning news every day, and whatever this gruesome story was did not show up. I had no idea until all the comments were made! Maybe it's because I live in Boston, but we still get national news, and it's not even in my local papers!

Just because something bad happens in the world doesn't mean everyone suddenly knows about it... Coincidence is coincidence. Calm down.

bodoba said...

Let's just say I finished reading EVERY SINGLE entry since the beginning and I absolutely love your site. I'm already composing a gift list to include aprons with naked mowhawk babies riding carrots!

As for cake babies...ew.

LoJ said...

So, because I have had an eating disorder, I should demand a "WARNING: POST CONTAINS CALORIE-LADEN FOOD" label?

Yeah. No. I'm not that full of myself.

This blog is amazing -- you guys do wonderful, hilarious work and are the first thing I look at when I get up in the morning and turn on my computer.

People who demand special treatment for their own specific special concerns are implying that they are better than the rest of the population.

You're offended? Fine. Navigate away from the page. No one can force you to stay here and look. Go to Cute Overload. Or http://tabularasa.org.

Unless, you know, there's been some kind of kitten coup and your delicate sensibilities can't handle the thought of their cute fluffiness.

Also, I keep wondering -- are the people offended by pictures (not even offensive pictures!) of baby-shaped cakes SO affected by this news in Texas that they can't stand to look at their own babies? Are they locking babies away from sight? Are they yelling at mommies with strollers on the streets?

I apologize for preaching to the choir. I just wanted to a.) let you know I support you guys, and b.) remind people that we should get over ourselves. Yeesh.

kerry said...

I like the 3-armed/buttcrack baby! Who was it that hoped the buttcrack slice was chocolate? Made me laugh!

The timing overlap with the real news story is sad, but I don't think you should pull the post. If you saw the news before writing the cake post, then maybe put up something else, but once you put yours up, fine, leave it.

LadyIslay said...

The first cake looks very funerial!

Darling One said...

My first thought was definitely three arms, but now I think it is a butt. Weird nonetheless!

Unknown said...

I am sorry I agree with egan . I feel you should have pulled the post. You pulled one about polo horses but not this one. Anyhow bakers bake what people want so someone is ordering these cakes. Maybe if some people would stop ordering cakes like this we wouldn't have photos to mock. If we didn't have photo's to mock where would Cake Wreck's be? Just a thought...

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