Friday, October 15, 2010

YAY FOR TATAS!!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Ahem.

[adjusting glasses] October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is a time to raise awareness, celebrate our survivors, and work together towards finding a cure for this horrible disease.

And also butcher some pink ribbon cakes.

Like so:

Ok. So. Wreckerators. Can we talk? I'd like to talk.

Here's the thing: you have THREE PLASTIC PINK RIBBONS ON THE CAKE. All you had to do was copy ONE of them. That's it. It's a loop. ONE LOOP. And what did you do? Well, honestly, I have no idea what you did. What is that? A folding chair? A bow? A naked person's heiny?

(Made you look.)


Maybe if the Wreckerator only had to draw a ribbon on the cake...

Never mind.


Ah, now here is someone who has mastered the art of the one-loop ribbon!

Next we'll tackle spelling.

Survior: (n) one who surves.
"I would like to surve this Canadian gosling. Please pass the peanut butter."


As anyone with a cancer-survivor in their life knows, finally getting that clean bill of health is a huge deal. HUGE. We're talking party like it's 1999 time. We're talking - oh yeah - CAKE.

Not this cake.

DEFINITELY not this cake.

Note to Wreckerators: When celebrating the successful vanquishing of tumors, it is never a good idea to put tumors on the cake. Please add this to the training manual. Right under "No more edible cancer rats for fundraisers."

Thanks to my breast Wreckporters Dorei, Sarah D., Beth, & Chelsi. You guys rock. Please pass the peanut butter.
Danger Boy said...

The first one isn't actually for cancer awareness, it's for girl pirates to find the treasure. Pink X marks the spot.

elissa said...

I know it's not PC to say this, but I am soooo tired of Breast Cancer Awareness and pink everything. It was something of a relief to be able to laugh at a couple for once.

WV: binesorp. Like pine soup, but not.

Kellysaurus Rex said...

I honestly thought those were cloves of garlic on the last one.

Fluffy Cow said...

Yes, you indeed made me look!

On a side note... silly putty colored tumors are hideous.

Anonymous said...

#1 could also be two pink softball bats being tapped in an X, like a salute to an opponent before they beat the %$^& out of them. Kinda like in fencing. (with swords, not pickets, wreckerators)

also, the last cake....those blobs look awfully shiny. are we sure they're not intended to be implants? before they're implanted? as in the survivor needed to have hers replaced? though i can't explain the purple ribbon/sperm tail.....

wv: domoter. the person who domotes a poor employee.

Anonymous said...

@ Danger Boy...I love it! LOL

and i love my WV for this post: shetop. very appropriate. since we're celebrating tatas and all.

Anonymous said...

Dear Elissa,
How unfortunate that you are "soooo tired of Breast Cancer Awareness". I hope you never have a need for the drugs that are used to combat this disease, for without the Breast Cancer Awareness campaigns, etc. there might not be enough money raised to develop drugs to beat this awful disease.

WV: slyche
I'd like a big pink slyche of cake to give to Elissa.

SuBee said...

Last week, NFL teams were wearing pink uniforms, playing on pink fields, using pink footballs, and getting pink concussions. The first cake represents major league baseball's response: Two pink bats, artistically crossed.

dplass said...

Wait, isn't that a *ptooie* cupcake cake with the "one loop ribbon" and typo?

Anonymous said...

My husband is a cancer survivor (6 years last month! Hooray!!!!)
He said he'd be afraid to go anywhere near that "cancer free" cake.

Stella said...

Canadian gosling? w/peanut butter? that's so last season... Lovely wrecks btw.

Karen S said...

The blobs on the last one look like raw oysters to me. Also not something I ever (EVER) want to see on a cake.

2Thinks said...

Tumors on the cake evoked a snicker here...your blog is the cake bomb- I enjoy the reads.

Lauren said...

Maybe it's just me, but I'm more disturbed by the "urine sample" yellow of the last cake than by the frosting tumors.

And don't worry, Elissa. I am hugely irritated by the pink, and pink is my favorite color.

A Paperback Writer said...

Uh, isn't that top one sort of supposed to be a bow? Maybe?

kittymidori said...

nothing says "Save the Ta-Tas" like boob implants on a yellow cake!!!

Anonymous said...

My pink loving 3-year-old daughter just kept pointing at the cakes and asking if she could have that cake, or that one. I kept telling her no. I assumed she wanted the cakes because they were pink, so imagine my surprise when she asked if she could have the yellow one. She finally asked "Then what cake can I have?" To some, the wreckage doesn't matter so long as there is cake involved.

Shannon said...

Is the last one tatas with tassels?

Anonymous said...

Re the last cake:
What are the blue things attached to the tumors/oysters?
Yuck

To celebrate being cancer free, bring on the martinis, fireworks, music.

Use pink cakes,frozen for hangover.

mocking

jagra said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the last one isn't for breast cancer. I think it's for something a little lower... and on a man... (not tumors, think testicles!) The urine yellow just supports the theory!

mary said...

elissa,
blue is my favorite color, not pink. however, pink became my new fav when i was diagnosed at age 25. yeah, that had some major suck to it. so you are tired of seeing pink everything? well, it's a lot different when the "pink" is referring to YOUR ta ta's.

rock on cakewrecks. these cakes are boobylicious.

Anonymous said...

For anonymous with the 3 year old who just wants cake, it reminds me of the link CW posted on FB yesterday:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html

I'm not a huge fan of pink like a few people on here have noted and I would probably opt for a different color to celebrate, but since that's the color for the cancer awareness, I will proudly honor it. My grandma died of breast cancer years ago, but I'm pretty sure she would have not touched any of these cakes! She was a bit too classy to get near the wrecks lol!

WV: forth. I would not go near these with a forth or any other utensil.

Tricia L said...

The yellow cake has such pretty writing. Too bad it has such unfortunate ... um ... uh ... yeah ... okay, decorations.


wv: Plece
Could we plece just use some plastic flotsum instead.

Anonymous said...

The top one could be a strapless cross-your-heart bra. Or not.

wv: cortion

Please use cortion when reading Cake Wrecks. Laughing out loud, laughing so hard you roll on the floor and your butt detaches, snorting, bewilderment (they paid for that?), confusion (what is it?), giggling, falling off chairs, praying (OMG), watery eyes (from laughter), being grossed-out, snickering, being offended, and spewing drinks on screen may be a result of viewing this blog.

Anonymous said...

@Jagra,

That's exactly what I was thinking! Glad you said it first ;o)

Amanda

Craig said...

Using more cupcakes increases the ability to approximate complex shapes such as a loop. One would think the increased surface area would allow for the inclusion of all letters in a word. Alas, not so.

I could wonder why wreckerators don't check their work, but black icing on a white background = what's done is done and hope nobody else notices (right).

wv: jelogg. Think I'll have some Jelogg's Korn Fakes with 1% milk on it (otherwise known as 'why bother' juice).

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I feel the same way as Elissa. I don't mind bringing awareness and fundraising for a worthy cause, but why does everything have to be pepto-bismal pink? It's nauseating. I would be much more willing to purchase items if they weren't that god-awful color. Most of the other causes don't force me to wear a certain color or have a house full of a color theme I despise. And they certainly don't make pro football games look like a bad "Legally Blonde" movie. Even Mary Kay doesn't make their people drive around in pink cars anymore. All causes being equally worthy, I'd rather buy something to support healthy heart and bring awareness to heart disease simply because I prefer red to pink. So, as far as people like me are concerned, by making everything pink, they are alienating potential donors.

Pamela said...

Yeah, you did make me look again. That made me laugh because I had looked again before seeing your comment about looking again. I'm personaly rooting for the Kids who want to wear those I (heart) boobies bracelets during school. Sorry to the person who doesn't like the useage of pink for Breast cancer awareness. Would burgandy or light blue be better for you, just wondering?

SoupAddict Karen said...

No cancer survivor should ever be saddled with a CCC, much less a Wreckerator CCC. And the sad thing is, the easiest way to form a pink ribbon cake loop is to use cupcakes.

Pre-nursing student and Wreckie said...

the cancer-free cake? Since it's not a pink, I think those are testicles... BTW, the medical root word for testicle is orchid, so just think of them as orchids! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm not even going near that last cake. Don't even want to know it's cake.

As for pink - I hate pink... can't we save the tatas no matter what color we wear?

I've got some awesome photos of the 'save the tatas' campaign the quilt society did, all using bras. Not cake, but they'd be really cool done AS cake!

Must say though, after reading this site, I'd be afraid of what I'd get if I asked a 'professional' to make one. A dreaded ccc? The less pleasing EPC? How DO I get them to make what I want?

*sigh* someone in the background here is telling me to make tatas myself. "Shut up, Craig!"

~~Di

Anonymous said...

I'm a breast cancer survivor, and, in support of elissa, I get tired of October, too. These cakes made me laugh.

Ann said...

Nah I think the first one looks like an X and what letter is the chromosome for females? XP

@ elissa

Don't worry I agree too. Quite the contrary, there ought to be more focus on other women's cancers like ovarian and cervical, which kill more compared to breast cancer and yet they don't recieve the same attention.

Apocalypse Dummies said...

I loved this... Hoorah for ta-ta's! Thank you for this blog because I am totally unable to spot Cake fails by myself.

Pauline said...

Was that last picture showing tumours (Canadian spelling) in the corners? I thought they were colostomy bags.

Anonymous said...

To me, it looks like the last one is celebrating a cancer free cervix!

wv: gasecait. don't blow a gasecait, it's not cancer.

Lily Marie :) said...

I definitely thought the third one said "swivior"

Anonymous said...

I thought the third cake said "SWIVER!" as in "one who swives" which href +"http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&biw=1189&bih=690&nfpr=1&defl=en&q=define:Swive&sa=X&ei=mKe4TO7JE8X_lgew78X7DQ&ved=0CBQQkAE">means...uh, never mind.

Pilgrim said...

As soon as I saw "Yay for Tatas", i knew i never should have clicked...


um... yay for being cancer free= blue ribbons on little beige boobies? they're not tumors they're...um...yah.

WV: dumbu
as in, dumbu wreckerators can't get a dang cake right

R said...

I'm all for Breast Cancer Awareness, but lately, October has become more "boobies appreciation month!" than a time to educate people about breast cancer.

anonymoose said...

I too tire of seeing pink everywhere. I am the immediate family member of someone who lost her life to breast cancer. I held her hand and watched while she died. I don't need to be reminded of this when I try to buy a cake, or potato chips or vaccuum bags or any thing else pink that has absolutely zero to do with breasts or health. Komen has turned breast cancer into a major industry and it has little to do with breast cancer prevention.

If people get comfort from the pink, then that's their right. But please don't assume that you speak for everyone with cancer or their families anymore than I do.

Just a note about marketing, if a message is everywhere, it becomes meaningless.

Anonymous said...

Obviously that first cake is not just dedicated to breast cancer, but research into the genetic causes of breast cancer. It's a jolly pink chromosome!

Anonymous said...

Just when I thought I'd seen it all, you had to bring out that last cake. What the heck? Those sacs looks like...well...sacs. Ew.

abbie said...

oh goodness this made me laugh. I was an avid cake decorator (though not a professional) in my pre-gluten-free days. (Managed to do my 5 tiered wedding cake.) Since then, I have yet to get back to the sugar and find a gluten-free recipe that really does it for me.
I stumbled onto your blog from Orangette. Thank you for the chuckle. :)

IslandPearl said...

I'm a 16 year survivor of breast cancer. I'm a huge CakeWrecks fan. And I deal with statistics for a living.

Soooo...I am compelled to correct the misconception (Ann) that ovarian and cervical cancers kill more women than breast cancer. Not true. Estimated cancer deaths for women in 2010:
Breast - 39,840
Ovarian - 13,850
Cervical - 4,210

The only cancer that takes more women's lives is lung cancer.

I don't like the "sibling rivalry" over whose disease is more meritorious of recognition. Death is death. If we can do something to prevent ANY of those deaths, we are morally obliged to do so.

Way too serious a conversation for such a blessedly funny blog.

Ever find any math-related cake wrecks out there?

IslandPearl said...

Oops..FTA -- source for those statistics was the American Cancer Society.
http://www.cancer.org/Research/CancerFactsFigures/CancerFactsFigures/cancer-facts-and-figures-2010

And hooray for the pink X chromosome!!

Anonymous said...

Those are tumors? I thought they were sperms, with blue tails, for someone who had testicular cancer.

Anonymous said...

These wrecks are pretty hilarious. The first and the last ones are confusing.

Count me among those who are tired of the pink everywhere. Kudos for Komen for a remarkable job of successful branding, but seeing a pink ribbon slapped onto something never entices me to purchase it unless it was something I would have bought anyway. Where were the ribbons when my grandmother died of liver cancer? Or my grandfather? Or my aunt of a brain tumour? I donate to the Canadian Cancer Society. But I never donate to pink ribbon campaigns because I feel like I'm donating to a brand as opposed to a cause.

PeggyLou said...

Did anyone else notice that two of those cakes were cupcake cakes?! EGADS! :O

Del said...

The 'survior' cake was horrific - love it. Lost my mom to breast cancer 5 years ago - she would have loved the botched ribbons. Best wishes to any survivors!

WV: opooking. I don't even have a witty definition - it made me laugh out loud by itself.

Anonymous said...

CANADA gosling/goose/geese! They are not Canadian! They do not hold passports and many of them don't even live in Canada at any point in the year. Branta canadensis is the latin name. My rant is over. Actually no. Peanut Butter?

I am also tired of everything being pink for October. I saw pink Energizer batteries this morning and that kind of tipped me over the edge. I understand the concept and I know people that have both died and survived from breast cancer but the ribbon on the packaging is enough for me. Here in Canada Autism Awareness Month is also in October yet there is too much pink for this to be noticed at all.
OK, my rant is really over now :)

Conspecific said...

Ahahhaha. I'm a breast cancer patient and as much as I %$#*ING HATE PINK after having it shoved in my face constantly, I'm tempted to ask a grocery store bakery for an awful pink ribbon cake to celebrate my upcoming 1-year mark, just to see what kind of wreck might result.

(In case anyone wondered, October is a HORRIBLE time to be diagnosed with breast cancer, because you can never go anywhere without being reminded of it. And instead of a serious awareness campaign, we get cutesy girlie pink ribbons and highly sexualized slogans. It sucks extra hard.)

Wolverine Girl said...

The first one, as I was scrolling down, looked like a big pink CCC (patooey!) plane, or a great big pink pair of kiddie's safety scissors.

Anonymous @ 6:01 - I saw sperm too. Big scary alien sperm. Ewwwwww.

As for the whole pink ribbon thing, it doesn't bother me too much, having the whole world turn into Barbie's dream house for a month, in fact I was highly amused when one year they covered the lights on one of our bridges with pink cellophane. However, pink does tend to make me a bit nauseous after a while :D

Here in Australia we also have Daffodil Day in August (just before our Spring) to raise funds for cancer research, for all types of cancer, not just breast cancer. I would have thought that it was an international thing, kind of sad if it isn't.

Mary said...

Omg, tumor cakes. ewwww. lol

lilacsigil said...

That bright yellow is the colour for cancer awareness (all kinds) in Australia - we rasise money by selling daffodils on Daffodil Day! I had thyroid cancer, and those lumps and traily bits look just about right for a chunk of thyroid and some blood vessels...

Anonymous said...

@Wolverine Girl...

The Canadian Cancer Society does a daffodil campaign every March, going back to the '50's. I don't know about other countries, though. I like it. It's a lot less obnoxious than the pink ribbons.

Briana the Magnifi-can't said...

A little off-topic, but perfect seeing as this theme was covered...

My video for the YouBoob contest.

http://youboob.feelyourboobies.com/contests/showentry/374777

Watch...I won't directly say to vote for me, but if you do, thanks!

Anonymous said...

The US also has a daffodil sale for cancer research/awareness/etc.

I usually see them at church and from my son from school.

I'd rather a daffodil than a pink pepto loop of ribbon anyday to brighten my day.

(oh, and the Craig I was yelling at was my DEAR husband, not the Craig who posts here)

~~Di

Noting that my wv was 'estrin'...

Anonymous said...

Love your blog! I almost wet my pants laughing every time I read, so it doesn't help that I'm now hooked on the site. By the way, my favorite is the first cake. Whoever let that go out on the floor must've not been too vigilant and is very good at guessing at what cakes are suppost to be.

-Marissa

Arlene said...

Seriously they can't even do a ribbon correctly on an evil CCC? Man I hope that x marked a map for directions on finding the wreckerator and chasing them out of town lol. That other cake looked good but the spelling ruined it.. sigh.

Sazz said...

On a related note if anyone wants to know how to make a realistic looking set of boob cakes, this is what a friend and I came up with :)

Breast Cakes

Anonymous said...

And the pink clashes so badly with the orange and black...

Anonymous said...

I'll have to try to make a CCC soon... one that DOESN'T look like THESE monstrosities. i have an idea that i may try soon.

I'm sorry but... that last cake is just WRONG.

egbkid said...

The hockey game in my city tonight was for Breast Cancer; all the guys wore jerseys that were pink and they were auctioned off. They raised over 9000 dollars for the cause!!

Aurora said...

What bothers me is that there is a breast cancer awareness month, but what about all the other kinds of cancer? When do we get to see football teams sporting the colors for ovarian cancer, or lymphoma? Also, only a TINY amount (if any) of the proceeds have to go to research for a product to be pink-ified, and you can never tell how much. Look, I'm all for supporting medical research, of any kind, but it drives me insane that it seems like the ONLY kind of cancer anyone cares about is breast cancer, and why? Because breasts are highly sexualized. You don't see T-shirts saying "save lives," just "save the ta-tas." People DIE from breast cancer. Get over the breast thing, already.

Also, any person who buys pink things and goes tanning is a huge hypocrite. You can't support cancer research AND try to give yourself cancer...well, I mean, unless you are participating in some sort of study...oh, wait. Skin cancer doesn't involve breasts, so nobody cares about it.

Sorry, just that annoys me GREATLY. More people die from heart disease than breast cancer (not to mention that the pink nonsense even more greatly ostracizes guys who get breast cancer), but everything doesn't turn all red for heart disease awareness month...and it's actually preventable. You can't really prevent breast cancer, just detect it before it becomes a big issue.

~Nikki~ said...

That tumor cake is awful.... it actually makes me want to throw up




check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Virginia Lee said...

I'm all for cancer awareness and these cakes are sadly amusing, but as a uterine cancer survivor of almost four years now, I find myself a tad irate every October.
A uterus or cervix or ovaries may not be as sexy-seeming as breasts, but one can have babies after a mastectomy. Try having a kid after having all your internal female organs removed. Ain't happening.

And yeah, my friends who've had breast cancer agree with my perspective.

As soon as October is designated as an awareness month for all female cancers, I'll play. But until then, this survivor won't be going pink.

Wendy said...

@Wolverine Girl - the American Cancer Society does the Daffodil Days as well. I love it - the volunteers are always camped out at my train station in the Spring. At least in the US, October is a tough month for other awareness campaigns to get noticed - other than Breast Cancer there is also Liver, Celiac, Infertility, Blindness, SIDS, Down Syndrome, Spina Bifida, Lupus, not to mention others that are not medical/health like Domestic Violence awareness and LGBT History Month and all the others I am leaving out. (*I do event planning and October is a busy month for me!)

Anonymous said...

I think that the first one looks like 2 pink baseball bats. Maybe, to show that we want to beat breast cancer?