it's hard to breathe.
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain...
(Ow.)
I'm so ashamed.
I am beautiful,
No matter what they say.
Words can't bring me down.
I am beautiful in every single way.
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no.
So don't you bring me down today.
To all your friends, you're delirious.
Ice cream cones... to make their horns...
Tryin' hard to make some sense of it. Wait, are those bugles?
Is it a cow-duck with horns and a goatee?
Cause you are beautiful, no matter what they say.
Words can't bring you down.
You are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring you down. NoOooOoooOOOooo....
So don't you bring me down today.
No matter what we poo.
No matter what we bake.
And everywhere we go,
The suananaaaIIOOOAAAAa NNOOOO NOO NOOooooOO ooooooooo
We are beautiful, no matter what they pay.
Camo flower town.
NoooooooOoo.
We are beautiful in every single way.
Words can't bring us down. No no no no no mmmm MMMM mm....
So don't you bring me down today.
OooooOOOOUgggnhh... MMmmmnOOOooAAH!
Don't you bring me downtooaaaaayyyyyyyyaAAAAAHHHHH
AAAOooooOOhh...
So don't you bring me down..... ughhnnnn....
Today.
Note from john: If you're wondering who's singing in the video, it's our very own Number 1 aka Jennifer Dorsman. And yes, she really is that good. Makes you sick, doesn't it?
161 comments | Post a Comment
OMG! What an amazing voice! Is that #1!?! Great post!!!
Great set o' pipes!
Camo Octopus!!!! And I think I will scour the town for some sad cookies!
Shelley in So. Illinois
I
feel
BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you.
The crying cakes were my favorite.
Oh, that was awesome! Thank you for taking the time and putting forth the effort to create and share that video. Some of those were severely messed up looking cakes....
(And for those who can't watch the video now [at work], please watch it later [at home]--it has more wrecks in the video than shown in the post.)
Hahaha :D creepy and funny at the same time... 'Drop dead' on a CCC would have really 'put the icing on the cake', eh?!:)
WV: weredom. A kingdom of werewolves and bygones where they express their anguish and bitter feelings towards the society which rejected them, and who fear them, by inflicting cake wrecks upon said society!
This is my B.A.D. day. Thanks for the chuckle.
Um.. holy FREAKING bovine this is amazing beyond words. oehrwoidjpajdpoajdpowjiewieofn
Also - did you sing this, Jen?! What the what!
This was great! I was completely singing along in my head :) I think the camo - flower town one is supposed to be for paintball...
That was brilliant! Great singing.
Even though I'm already having an amazing day, that just made it at least a thousand times better! You guys are awesome!!
OH-MY-WORD!!! That was hilarious!!! My 4-year-old enjoyed it, too, but I am glad that he couldn't read the writing on some of the cakes. ;-)
That was amazing! Not only was it actually musical (way to go singer!), but the cake choices and words were hilarious! What a wonderful way to start Friday.
GREAT JOB!!! Loved the vid. It rocked
THAT was AMAZING!
Song was beautifully sung and editing was very good.
Beats my Cake Wrecks Tribute Songs!
Well Done! Carry on.....
Sharon's Edible Art
Wow! That was fantastic!!!!
KC
YESSSSSSSSSS! THIS POST JUST MADE MY DAY. Thanks, you rock!
What is that thing at 3:34? That might be the most hideous cake I've ever seen!
Gorgeous voice!
Absolutely Great Video - and the person doing the singing was GREAT! i'm here at work with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard ...
A couple people are leaving for new jobs -- saw a couple of cakes in this video that would make 'joke' farewell cakes...
As always, thanks CakeWrecks crew!
I'm pretty sure those are bugle chips for horns instead of ice cream cones. Even better!!!
The camo flower cake reminded me of that Robin Williams movie "What Dreams May Come". I don't think that's a good thing.
Wow some of those cakes.. Make me sick to my stomach.. Especially the one that looks like a bunch of worms spiraling from the center..
Brilliant! I think my eyes are bleeding from some of those cakes, but at least I'm laughing, too!
Wonderful start to my birthday weekend! Hope I get me some bugle-horned, goateed cow-duck cupcakes!
OooooAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh....Mmmmmmmm.
Cathy in Missouri
That settles it, it's only a matter of time before Cake Wrecks: The Musical hits broadway. I know would do anything to see a show like that - your sing a long posts are AMAZING!!!
BRAVA!!
Jen Number 1 - you have a beautiful voice.
Great Vocals! Gave me the smile I needed this morning!
Absolutely fantastic.
WV: gothestr. An emo hipster who may or may not own a lot of Twilight paraphernalia.
Hilarious (as usual). Thanks for sharing!
Wow. That was probably the greatest thing I've ever seen. AWESOME job!!
Bugles!!!! ~gigglesnort~ Too awesome! You just plain rock, Number One! :-)
Why would somebody make frowny face cookies?
WV: consom, as in, "Waiter, I thought that you just mispelled "consomme" on the menu. I didn't realize this consom dish would have anything to do with safe honeymoon activities!"
Very good. This makes up for my actually DROPPING an iced cake on the driveway yesterday, one that was intended for my kid's 13th birthday.
Best. Post. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i agree with whoever said Cake Wrecks the Musical is around the corner!!!
(and if it happens, can i be a part of it? i'm a music teacher and choreographer! and i like cake!!!)
The poo cake says "Bavarian Blast." HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Also, thanks for the consistent awesomeness.
It's hard to "enjoy" the wrecktacular cakes when I actually am really enjoying the singing. Like patting my head and rubbing my stomach...#1 is awesome.
I cackled through the entire video. Thank you!
I love, love, LUV the video!!! Hooray for Jennifer!
Although I could watch the video at work, I'm glad you followed it with text because then I could go back and really study the awfulness...why would I want to do that? LOL
@Anonymous 10:30...I just re-watched "What Dreams May Come" this week, thinking that I didn't "get it" the first time around. Nope. It's just that weird.
A "hymn" to ugly, bizarre, or funny cakes - hysterical.
It belongs as a cautionary tale in a pastry school. or a new "church of the sweets".
Lovely voice, thou.
mocking
Bravo! Encore! Encore!
Great voice, great song, great post. LMAO!
My 3 year old saw the bugle cake and said, "Why is there a grumpy kitty cat cake."
Jackie
OMG That was FA-bulous! Number One, you have a fantastic voice!
The wrecks were pretty gosh darn wrecky too! Camo Flower Town? I think that will be my next birthday cake!
Great post!
Wow, Number 1, you sound fantastic!
I think I hurt myself not laughing out loud (stupid work) at the Bavarian Blast one.
WooohoooAAAuuww Yeaahhyeahyeah
That was awesome!
I paused on the credits to figure out who sang it, and I am still confused. It sure sounded like Christina Aguilera (love, love her voice). Did you really get her to do this?
If this was you Jen - why are you not a professional singer?
If it was Judge Reinhold, well, I have completely misjudged him.
Tricia
wv -wiransp Wiranspired by that amazing song.
In reference to the bicycle picture, I know a missionary that had a bicycle accident in which something similar to the picture occurred. The result was a torn marble carrier. Great video.
Arrrghhhh! Brain hurting from cognitive dissonance between audio and video input!!!! Number One - beautiful, beautiful voice (more, please)......but those wrecks? (ouch, ouch, ouch) Morbid fascination - could not look away with Number One's singing keeping me glued to the screen, could not shut my eyes. What a fantastic post!
Number one, what a beautiful voice!... and the wreackyness is just the pick up I needed this morning!...
Btw...I would sooo love to audition for 'Cake Wrecks' the musical....some one needs to het on top of that...
Love,
Jessica Marie
My gosh. I was so overwhelmed by the voice on that video I forgot I was laughing at the funny parts. Who is that singing? Amazing voice!
#1=Win! Giving Xtina some competition there. I wasn't sure how you would've topped your other musical but this was fantastic, along with some fantasically wreckie cakes! Who puts Bugles on cupcakes anyway?!?
Just linked through from Canadian Living. Thanks for the afternoon chuckle. Loved some of those cakes!!!
#1, you have a fabulous voice. I'm also guessing you've trained long and hard to get it, that kind of clarity in the upper register doesn't happen by accident. Nicely done!
(Pro? Semi-pro? Or just a talented amateur? Honestly, if you've got recordings, I'd listen to them. I much prefer your voice to the strained, processed stuff that's on the radio these days.)
That video was AWESOME!!! The cake at 2:45 "Super Bowel GO GO GO" -Hilarious!
@Amy- What IS that thing @3:34?
I love it! Great lyrics and visuals and a really beautiful voice.
I also thought you guys would like to know that my husband surprised me with your book for our anniversary. Did I marry a great guy or what? :D
wv: print.
The words in print were very funny and the singing was soooo beauti-fuullllll (and of course the cakes were very wrecky)!
Wow! That's amazing - what a great voice!! And all those wrecks!! Loved it!
"No matter what we poo." This will have me snickering for the rest of the day. Thanks. :P
#2 Could we not have included some suggestion of a seat? And, I dunno, another leg?!
#6 I think those are Bugles. Now that's a taste treat waiting to happen.
#7 Why do I think 'Get Lost Creep' is what the customer told the wreckerator.
#10 I agree with the paintball theory, but it's amazing how much the hits look like daisies. As seen by Dali.
#12 Abe would be proud. Glad he was included after all the tributes to Washington this week. Major case of hat-hair, though.
OMG that is friggin' hilarious!!
LOVE LOVE LOVED this post! so many cakes, so appropriately arranged with the lyrics. This is art of the 21st century. Bravo!!
btw, who was singing?? awesome job!
I love the "no matter what they say" lyrics coupled with the insult cakes. spittake worthy!
I needed that this morning, I laughed till I was choking and had to run to the bathroom before I peed my pants, oh, wait, is that too much information? I think I'll send this to my mother-in-law who deserves this very experience for herself. BWAHAHAHAhahahahaha!!
That video was totally awesome!
The kroger cake is surely radioactive...
Stunning, absolutely stunning.
This made my morning.
As mentioned already, I'm pretty sure the flower camo cake is actually a paintball cake. Which, if it is a paintball cake, it really isn't half bad. Not exactly an easy thing to "cakeify."
Flabbergasted.
I think the thing at 3:34 is a Shih Tzu with a serious thyroid problem. And a bad dye job.
That just made my day about a bazillion times better......
What a wonderful post! Thanks for a great laugh today. Good voice too.
Fantastic! Beautifully sung, and I love the captions! Two frosting-dipped thumbs waaaay up!
Marcy
That's good stuff, plain and simple. I nominate #1 for Best New Artist Grammy!
When the guy with the bike rammed up his pipe and then the drop dead cake came up, I laughed out loud.
When the suck it cake came up, I began to seriously miss SNL Jeoporady (spelling?) with Sean Connery and Will Ferrel. I shed a single black writing gel tear...
BRAVO! Wonderful!
Just, just beautiful. No matter what they say.
I love you, Number 1, and Jen and John. Not in a creepy way, of course.
Because that'd just be weird.
WV: caralin, as in, "we'll be going caralin this winter"
HA! my favorite part is the "oooOOOoooAAAAWWWAAAAoooooOOOooooh" stuff. hilarious!
Having a B.A.D. day. Thanks for the laugh and smile today.
AMAZING
THANK YOU!
great singer Number 1 you are number 1 and I just 'love' all the cakes
Oh where, oh where, can I get a DEAD HORSE CAKE too??! OoooWaaaaOhhhWaahhhOOHHhhhhh!!!
My 4 year old daughter said "Mommy, one of those cakes in making me nervous"....
:O Wowza! That is an awesome post! It's like a literal video... but with cake! It can't get much better than that!
You guys have done it again. The talent that you have that once again delivers a post that takes wreaked cakes and turns it into a side splitting,laugh out loud gem is remarkable. Standing ovation to you!
Amazing voice you've got there! Waiting for my migraine meds to *hopefully* kick in, I decided to check CW to distract myself... I was holding my own against laughing out loud (painful!) until about 1:53 - "wait are those bugles?" ... at which point I quite literally fell out of my chair laughing.
Oddly enough, my head feels a little better now! Thanks :) apparently cow ducks with horns and goatees are better than western medicine.
I legit thought that it was just going to be Christina Aguilera. And then they said "cake" and I was like WHAT. So whoever that was, holy CRUDMUFFINS.
More like tapeworms than poo on that Bavarian blast!
Nice Heffalump on the first cake!
What a show to close down the week with. Thanks! :)
Seriously, amazing voice. I forgot to laugh the first time, so I had to watch it again.
WV: eamuni. I guess eating those cakes requires some kind of eamunization.
So, this post just proved how messed up this pregnancy is really making me - I laughed, and yet at the same time got that genuine nose burning, eyeswatering, lump in the throat signaling that I'm going to cry because I feel so bad for those cakes!
Completely and totally awesome. No matter what we poo.... I'm hanging that above my baby's changing table....
Thanks for putting that together, it was pretty cool. Also, great voice.
Fan-Freakin'-Tastic!
Okay, I tried to scroll thru the comments to see if anyone else already posted this, but there were too dang many comments. I only got 2/3 of the way thru!
Pretty sure camo flower town was actually supposed to be paint ball. those "flowers" look like paint splots.
Is it flowers, or camo and paintballs? I guess if I have to ask it is a problem.
It deeply disturbs me that the Bavarian Blast is also a "filled cake." OMG! Pass!
No matter what we poo, indeed!
Meg in AZ
If the audio magicianery was sampling and dubbing CA's voice to make the right words with autotune then holy cow, well done! If the vocals were live record then Damn, girl, get yourself a contract!
AS always Jen, Great job on the video!
Now that.... is impressive. Great bit of work! **Off to find karaoke bar**
you totally just made my day
I think that I love the You Are Tolerable cake...My birthday is coming up in Nov. I think I know what I want!....haha
I have not stopped laughing yet! Thanks Jen you just brightened up a bad day I was having. I am going to go back now and watch it again.
My entire family just huddled around the computer to watch this on my husband's lunch break. Absolutely hilarious.
You are JUST what I needed today! (and so many other days too!) Thank you for giving me so many giggles AGAIN!
Pam Miller AKA Mookzmom
I scrolled down and read the post while the video was loading, and I must say, it did no justice. The video was that funny. So much better than reading any post. :)
This has made my day!! I was practically crying I was laughing so hard!
Oh, so great. Soooo, great.
Thank you for taking the time to do this!
Wow, I didn't know Number 1 was actually Christina Aguilera! Her secret identity has been discovered!
No but seriously, nice voice. :D
And a hilarious video.
That was awesome!
That last cake is supposed to be Abe? I kept looking at it wondering why soeone put the Geico caveman on a cake. LOL
In response to the "Who Buys A Corn Cake?"
People who are gluten-free!!!!!!!
Ahh..I delude my self with delusions of cleverness.
great post!!!
WOW! Number 1 - you have an amazing voice! Seriously - that was fabulous! You should go on American Idol or something!
Great post today!
HECK YES! Wait, is that Dobby on the last cake? Hmmm....
I kind of prefer the semi-physically-challenged Scooby Doo to his typical commercialized counterpart.
Is that wrong??
Is it?
http://seriouslyreallyseriously.blogspot.com/2010/09/joy-of-pets.html
word verfication: seDOG (it says DOG!~ see!)
THIS. WAS. BRILLIANT.
BTW IT'S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY.
Wow...
Word verification: mydriedi
After hearing that lovely voice mydriedi(s) were...not!
I'm not even going to read the rest of the comments-- that was awesome! I will never hear that song the same way again! Love, love, love it!
And if you just read the post and didn't watch the video-- go back and watch the video-- the post doesn't do it justice!
Excellent job, #1!
Suddenly, it IS hard to breathe. Because I'm laughing so hard.
just over the top cool. loved it looovve it babyyyy
I'm in awe! Well done, thank you, and more, please!
That was just awesome - love it. I love the "so sad you're leaving cakes - now get out" great song by the way
I liked the pink elephant was best. It really did look like it couldn't breathe
Wow. I am simultaneously impressed and quite frightened.
Wreck Pride! You, madam, are awesome. I was singing along on the chorus, until I got to "Get Lost Creep" RIGHT on "words can't bring you down." I laughed out loud! Also, who's amazing singing voice was that? That person's voice really IS beautiful- no sarcasm here!
~Eliza
OMG Hilarious. I think I wet my pants laughing.
BEST. VIDEO. EVER!!!!!!
WV: owedis - these wreckerators owedis world an explanation. And an apology. An abject apology.
Those poor cakes! Now I feel so sorry for them, those mean ol' CakeWrecks people putting them down all the time. I mean really, every cake is beautiful on the inside, right?
Right?
Hey, is anybody there?
Is 'Drap Dead' from the Northeast, by chance?
If you blow up 'Bavarian Blast' (so to speak), you may notice as I did that the 'squiggles' at center, 2 and 3 o'clock appear to have definite heads. Why not have a slice right now? Wash it down with a tall glass of Diet Ade! That's Diet Ade -- look for the DA on the can! (That might be the ideal time to talk to him about this cake.)
Kroger, you shouldn't have. Really. A simple note would have sufficed. It looks like some thoughtless vandal tagged this cake, then someone tried to salvage it by piping some rather nice flowers on it. Too bad they didn't wait for a contractor to come and re-stucco it before doing that.
The singer could use the video as a demo -- I'm sure she could get signed without any trouble. Of course, we comment-taters haven't been considering that she might be a professional singer who does CW videos on the side...
Where is the MP3 for this song? I MUST DOWNLOAD IT!
I think I'm going to have to have words with my miss 3. She was able to give me an explanation of what each cake was, and announced that she loved the beautiful cake video... Oh dear. I might be breeding a wreckarator!
Truly Amazing. Best song I've ever heard.
About cakes.
Donald in California
I wonder if the German nude dude cake is available in Bavarian Blast.
ow ow ow ow ow ow
BRAIN CRAMP!!!
pretty song - no matter what u poo- and hideous cakes...ugh four minutes of prolonged cake wrecks is dangerous but still oddly satisfying
-Barbara Anne
I just wonder what are people thinking to make a cake that says drop dead on it? Lol funny yes but not to the person that gets it. Rude but you know what I would take that cake and eat it. No sense in wasting what I hope is a tasty cake. I can't stop laughing I love this post!
Brilliant post, singing was a bit pitchy but since that's the voice inside my head, I'm accepting responsibility for that.
Best part? The Happy Heimlich Maneuver Day cake with the blue frowny face, marked as 'traditional'.
Wow. Awesome post. It was really enjoyable and it's so not the same if you don't watch the video.
I held it together until the "Super Bowel" cake. How unfortunate of a misspelling! Great song.. who was singing?
Jen,
I just have to tell you, today was a tough day, and that video just made me laugh out loud, while at the same time reminding me of how beautiful absurdity is. Thank you so much!
This is brilliant. :) Couldn't watch the video but I greatly enjoyed the written version.
Quite possibly the best CakeWrecks post EVAR!! Thank you!
PeacefulDave
fantastic!~ congrats to all involved.
What a beautiful cake. The first cake looks so beautiful and real.
awesome!!!
Probably one of my favorite posts. It was hilarious!
I've been at a brain-numbing 2-day workshop, so just able to watch this.
WOW!
Bekah at 10:59 on 10/22 - you said it. Perfect!
So, there have been no acknowledgments OR corrections by john, Jen, #1, or any of the CW Team regarding the amazing vocalist. However, is that a hint at the end of the video giving credit to Jason Kupfer, audio magicianery? Did he work the occasional cake wreck references into Aguilera's vocals? If so, he is AN AMAZING GENIUS!
But wait! Somebody had to sing "Ice cream cones... to make their horns..." and "Wait, are those bugles?
Is it a cow-duck with horns and a goatee?" and "Camo flower town" - and that someone has a Christina-Aguilera-caliber voice!
Pleeeease tell me how you did this!!!
Oh, and by the way, thank you for your awesomeness!
Super Bowel...snicker, snicker!
Wonderful video, terrific vocals, clever lyrics! It's a winner!
I especially enjoyed the written transcript of the vocalizations! oooOOAAAooogh!
that was tolerable.
jk! It was awesome!!! Love it!
Wow! Seriously was that You, Jen? Amazing voice, dear! Very fabulous video.Thank you so much!
WOAH! FIERCE SINGING!!!!!!
That was AMAZING!
The 4th(?) one from the end looks like Lady Cassandra from Doctor Who: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cb/Lady_Cassandra.jpg
Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting that on youtube! Now I can show it to my friends on my phone and we can laugh like loonies in public places. Oh wait...
Um, can you post the "What's This?" video to youtube as well? If you did and I just missed it cuz I was too lazy to look past the first page, please disregard this comment.
Just had a chance to listen to the video-- as good as the static post was, "wow!" to the video! Very well put together! And Jen #1, loved your voice. i don't know if you're a pro who works for CW on the side or the other way around, but I'm really glad that you've found a way to merge these talents. (Although, I do have a hunch that when you were a little girl, taking singing lessons and dreaming big, I rather doubt that you hoped to mock cakes in song when you grew up!! You are still making thousands of people happy though ).
I loved how you showed the cakes with the lyrics, and captions-- but, just a technical request: can you cycle through fewer wrecks so we can focus a bit more on each? With listening to the singing and reading the captions for the changed lyrics, some of the cakes went by a bit fast to really appreciate the wreckitude.
And... my boss left our team on Friday. It's a good thing there was no cake ;) (we like her, and are not happy she's leaving us!)
I like bicycle cakes. Very nice
Number 1, you have a beautiful voice! I love this post!
this made me laugh so hard I cried!
Daphne in Ottawa, Canada
This is interesting
Laughing... too hard... to breathe... [gasp]
That was totally awesome. (And #1's voice - wow!)
Okay, I'm at work,m but that was completely worth putting on the headphones to listen to the video! Nice job, Jen!
I was at the grocery store today with my 3 year old. She wanted to go cookie begging as usual. While we were in the bakery the original of this song came in. I'm having drainage problems because of my allergies, so I just stood there coughing until I almost wet myself. Thanks for the good laugh, I mean cough, and potential for public humiliation.
Oh my gosh - I've been away from the net for a little while so just sat down with a cuppa to catch up on my wrecks... this is AMAZING!
Seriously, that video is the greatest thing on the internet by far.
I love you cake Wrecks Team!!
YOU'RE SO TALENTED, IT'S BEYOND COMPREHENSION.
Seriously, that was awesome.
Witty cake-commentary and brilliant voice? What more could anyone ask for?
More props for Number 1. Awesome job...especially for not cracking up while you're singing!
You know, you're just beging to get Rick-Rolled.