Hey, guys! Number 1 here, and it's my birthday!! I am so excited to have my first birthday as a Cake Wrecks writer. What wreckiness will I get to witness FIRST HAND this year?!? I can't wait. I keep imagining Jen ordering me a cake with some sort of numerical wreckery like "Numbered One," "1 Number," "1# One," "Nummer Won," or "Numb Are Want in pink icing." So in that spirit, here are some other Wrecks whose days are numbered.
Maybe it's celebrating Mr. Big's 13th episode of "Sex in the City?"
Yeah...probably not.
(Next to "Big," it should read, "off-center.")At least they wrote a big "13" though. It would have been doubly wreckalicious if they wrote it all tiny-like...
...which brings me to:
In this case, "Giant 57" = "Giant empty space and 57 rainbow sperm."
A very merry unbirthday to this guy:
Hey, who's counting?
Here's how Kelly got a brand new nickname:
(Give it a minute.)It could be an inspirational cake, though, if you just tweak the punctuation:
"Asbigas, you can make it! 30! Happy Birthday."
See?
There's really no excuse, Ricki M., Jane R., Callie B., and Kelly (A.K.A. Asbigas.) These cakes are a giant number #2! With pink stars. And frosting flowers under neat.
UPDATE: I got my wish!! Here are the cake mounds Jen and John got me for my birthday:*
*Carrot jockey not included.
They were pretty awesomely wrecky (note the "#1") but MAN, did they taste good. Jen and I were kinda bummed that they removed the cupcake wrapper before frosting them; that would have made a perfect wreck! Thanks again, guys!
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"asbigas"
*shaking head*
poor Asbigas - never gonna live that one down!!!
Happy Birthday!
And what are all those holes in that first cake? Are a million little ants going to pour out of them when someone starts to cut the cake?
DB
Happy Birthday!
I will totally have to ask for Mashed potato boob cakes for my birthday now. I'm sure my mom would approve.
Hey, today's my dad's birthday, too! (He's 86.) Happy birthday to both of you.
And I love the asbigas you can make it 30 cake. Giant 57 is pretty dang good too.
Happy Birthday #1!
Happy Birthday #1!!!
Hey, it's my birthday too!!! Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, Number 1! May you have many more.
The "Asbigas" cake is my favorite today. Really, really? The wreckerator thought that was part of the inscription? Scary, and a bit depressing... The black edging looks gross, too - blech.
good grief - i'm reading asbigas as as-bi-gas instead of as-big-as....took me a minute there...
OMG... who comes up with this stuff?
Happy Birthday !
It's been said before, but who on earth HIRES these people to decorate cakes? And don't they look at it once they're done and wonder, " Hmmm, what does "Asbigas" mean???. Maybe I should call and check."
And, what is up with all the sperm-related decorations? Must be they teach that in Cake Wreck School - spelling, English language skills, not so much!
Thanks for a good laugh.
Big 13. I count 16 holes in that cake where someone got carried away with the candle placement, then took them all out except (1).
Asbigas...it took me a minute, but I finally got it! (shaking head)
See my Cake Wrecks Tribute Songs at: http://sharonsedibleart.blogspot.com/
Sharon's Edible Art
Thank you to the commenter who left the as-big-as comment...I just couldn't, for the life of me, get beyond as-bi-gas!
...must need more coffee...
I think most people would appreciate having the no # bday!
I'm confused - who wrote this post, if not Jen or John? Who's birthday is it? Happy birthday anyway! Great wreakalicious cakes today!!
wv delusi. These wreaktators must have been delusi when they made the cakes!
Happy birthday!
I think someone started to put candles on the first cake and then made the wreckiest decision to just write it out...without smoothing the icing...Way to Go!!! We appreciate the opportunity to laugh at your misjudgement!
I think I will have to write a novel, just so I can name a character Asbigas.
WV andemb. I started writing a novel andemb I named the hero Asbigas.
My family refers to pretty much every birthday as "the big [number]," such as when I turn the big two-nine this year. Put a dash between the 1 and the 3, and Big 13 would totally fly in our family.
Happy birthday! :)
I am confused to...who did write this post?
Happy B-day to Anne-Marie, the #1 Cake Wrecksistant!
I was waiting for some nice yellow icing to go with that No. 1 :-(.
Asbigas could be one of those good nonsense words we have to type to submit comments. Made my day, heh, heh, heh.
Norne
Happy birthday, Number 1! :) Hope you also got some not-wrecky cake!
As far as today's wrecks are concerned, I can only shake my head and say "Oi..." :P
In defense of the fact that it took me longer than a minute to decipher "asbigas," I've not yet had coffee!
I love that Asbigas made it to 30!! What a wonderful achievement. People do name kids oddly these days. Y'never know.
I really had to wonder about the "Big 13" - Could have been asked for that way, but the holes left from removing the candles... whole 'nother story. I'm crossing my fingers that was done to get a better pic of the wreck, post blow-out.
Happy birthday 1#! I'm sure my hubby would love the carrot cake blobble.I must thank you for all the ideas you give me. He will, too.
I'll never get asked to make cakes for anyone again. Thank you.
~~Di
abeetumi? You really want a cake that looks like a bee tumi?
Hapy Bithday Nubber Won!
Asbigas....wasn't he one of the Fellowship of the Ring?
Giant 57...that just made me sad....
Hey All! Anne-Marie here! As much as I would loooooove my b-day to be today, alas, it is not. I have to wait till May for my buttercreamy happy day :(
Happy Birthday Number One!
Hi Number1---Happiest of happy birthdays to you (and Paperback Writer's dad and to Beth.)
Adore "asbigas" and my-just-home-from-work-brain thought that one could stretch the meaning to make it a cake for a Mom & just born premmies:
Asbigas you can! 30 (weeks)! Happy Birthday!
Wv: eleds: sometimes making sense eleds me
Terrell (aka NiteNurse)
Thank goodness for other people's comments. I couldn't for the life of me figure out Asbigas. :P
Happy birthday, Number 1!!
Great post, #1. I really liked all those wrecks (as wrecks, i mean, not as cakes). Couldn't find the #1 on your birthday mounds until i looked twice. I thought they were random leaves.
We used to celebrate unbirthdays at our house. My sister always got an unbirthday card on my birthday and vice-versa. Let's hear it for unbirthday cakes! You could have one any time. It's always not somebody's birthday.
BTW, on a side note, I was unable to post yesterday--blogger kept telling me my WV was incorrect.
Asbigas...snort! Too funny! what do you think the person who ordered the cake said when he/she picked it up? I can only imagine.
Have a very joyeux anniversaire, Number 1!
And the 'as big as' cake really takes...the cake. :-P
-French Bean
Happy Birthday and all, but this just made me appreciate Jen and John all the more. Their writing is actually funny. Sorry.
So, when the persons who submit these images go to the bakery, and discover these errors, they just pay for them and take them home? Why do these things that were obviously inscribed by semi-literates EVER make it out of the store? As amusing as these are to me, this sort of incompetence is unacceptable, and there is no way in hell I would pay for it.
Anonymous, Jen & John have assistants who help with the blog. There's Number One (whose first name is also Jen, but she is not *the* Jen), and Anne-Marie.
Hope this helps!
Happy Birthday #1!! Always enjoy your posts! ~ Rock on!
:-)
Love,
(another)Jenn!
yes... I'm glad you said "give it a minute" because I had to sound it out and let it sink in....
Poor Asbigas.... That totally sucks! LOL wow.
Glad to hear I wasn't the only one for whom it took just a minute to figure out Asbigas (Spanish name? Name of a company?). When I did--I laughed out loud. Perfect. Brilliant. Hilarious.
hey, Happy Birthday Number 1! It's my dad's birthday, too, and he's the big 50 today. I just called my mom and asked her if she's doing something for a cake for dad, and she said she was. I'm sure he won't get a wreck, though. ever since I started reading this blog, though, I've always wanted a wreck for my birthday. lucky you!
asbigas...wow. There are no words (literally, that's NOT a word!).
And the black icing is not my first choice either. Blah! They may not make it past 30; that stuff can't be good for one's innards.
'Giant 57'--is it the 57th anniversary of the movie 'Giant'?
Wreck on, wreckorators! You give us so much joy (and head-scratching, trying to figure out what you were thinking).
PS Happy Birthday #1 =) May your birthday be un-wrecky!
I am still laughing!! Thanks so much for this! 'Asbigas'
Oh come on..they HAD to go back to the bakery and see the person that wrote "asbigas" and ask them "whatwhereyouthinking".
Oh man, asbigas. That took me a while.
Happy birthday, Number 1! Now tell me... *fierce grimace* Whooo.. does.. number 1.. work.. for??"
WV: 'dabbelti' -- "Woah, man, that insult was below dabbelti!"
About all those candle holes in the Big 13 cake:
I'm thinking the decorator did NOT put the candles on at all, it was the people who bought the cake. Then they decided to take a photo, but all the candles were in the way so they had to take them back off.
"mashed potato boob cakes"--thanks, Anonymous, you made me laugh!! (and so did this whole post)
Does it say something about my geekyness that I thought it must be Commander William T. Riker's (Jonathan Frakes) birthday?
I believe Asbigas was the name of the evil god summoned up in Ghost Busters.
Happy Birthday Number One! Best cake that i see in my life!
very merry , ha-ha-ha ! sting beside me such then was not!
Whoops! My mistake. Always thought #1 was John (as in Star Trek's William Riker). I didn't know you had assistants helping with the Blog. Perhaps you could leave a note under FAQ who #1 really is (and put back the trash can option so I can sneak quietly out of here without looking like a fool) :)
Sharon's Edible Art
"Giant empty space and 57 rainbow sperm."
.......... Soooooo funny!
check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com
WAIT ONE SECOND! THEY GOT YOU CUP CAKES!?!?!?!?! I thought we hate cup cakes? (Yes the caps are on purpose! I'm Shocked!)
Happy Bithdays #1!
Misty K.
It took a while to figure out "asbigas"! But once I got it... oy.
We're ordering a cake for a colleague's event, and another colleague grumbled today "I don't understand why [the bakery] won't take phone orders!". Obviously, I needed to educate that junior analyst as to the joys of CW :)
PS Happy birthday #1!
Happy Birthday Number 1! out of curiosity, how did you and Jen meet?
Regarding the Big 13 cake. I'm sure the recipient took the candles out before taking the photo. Otherwise it would have been difficult to get the full effect.
@Amber, have you ever heard the saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything?"
Misty,
Cupcakes are GLORIOUS.
It's cupcake cakes that are evil like the fruits of the devil.
Kelsey,
Jen and Number 1 met a long, long time ago and in a land far, far away called Orlando. It was laugh at first site.
john
Oh, though I travel through the valley of sleep deprivation, dehydration, 100+ degree day w/no AC, a fever & side effects of antibiotics , my gift to Jenn AKA Number 1, is the following stream of consciousness. I will not compose, proofread, or edit. I always learn something when this happens. Hang on to your seat, here goes:
Oh, wait: means "be right back" in "before computers had graphics cards" speak.
For real, here goes:
I haven't stopped smiling since midnight MST as I celebrate the birth of my niece (which sounds like the plural of "nice" if it was a noun).
On this special day, Num1, (I just called my sibling's child, my angel baby, a "numb one") I read your post with love in my heart, joy in your humor, pride in your excellent usage of standard English grammar, and relief that you turned out so clever after that one time I almost dropped you when you were in diapers.
Despite my bliss, within I find an elusive desire for what I cannot name - so strong, I feel it in my stomach....oh! Cake! That's it. Yea, cake.
Phew.
Your greatest gift may just be the life lessons which abound in your 1st Cake Wrecks Birthday blog post:
Big 13.
Life Lesson: Some men lie.
Asbigas. I thought it was a comment, insult or pet name, inappropriate, yet suitable for a license plate - because at first glance, it was obviously "Has a Big A**". Yes, Really. No, I am not making that up. That's what i thought it said.
Life Lesson: An amazing unique, miraculous universe exists in the minds of every human being, AKA, folks say the darnedest things.
Giant 57.
I'm confident in my belief that this in NOT a birthday cake, but the result of a kind gesture performed by an enamored medical assistant intern, a quiet, lonely, but hopeful person whose poor posture reflected her self esteem. After sorting through a stack of lab results, she phoned a bakery. On the return of the patient who held her affection, the shy medical assistant intern proffered him this informative, distressing, yet festive confection. 57 is the ACTUAL sperm count of a guy named Giant.
Life Lesson: Some people are really nice.AND It's almost never too late to improve your posture.AND Hope is better than hate.
There. I'm done.
I love you angel baby, and thank God for the day you were born.
ILYMTML
rhod
Why did they put the Olympics rings on the one cake?
Did I miss something with the 'asbigas'?!
Happy Birthday! It's mine too!
Have a great day!
Hippy Bathday, number 1! I love your hairy boob cakes.
I've had a couple of thoughts about the "asbigas" cake. First of all, I thought it was about flatulence, i.e. a$$-be-gas. The second thought involves the icing colour. I've never had black icing but I've heard that it has disturbing repercussions, and I was just imagining the horror if they had managed to create an enormous black 30 on that cake. Oh the asbigasity!
wv: borottl - the sound your bottom makes if you have a bath after eating an asbigas cake.
bwahahahahaha
I believe that "Ace of Cakes" had a Cake Wreck on their "30 Rock (And Roll) episode. The cake was the gaudiest thing they have made... completely gold cake. I believe it had a "Write this ..." on it. Sadly, I can't find any pictures of the cake, but you may be able to!
Happy Birthday!!
Equest2007
Hey I would love to have a no number birthday. Then I would never age! Lol yeah yeah I can dream. I am laughing so hard at the asbigas cake.. come on is punctuation too much to ask for in this bakery? Loved the cupcakes at the end I would heartily tear into them once I got past the frosting :D.
Asbigas is my new "No#1" fave cake - love it!
Happy birdholq!
And a picture of a carrot jockey.
Lets celebrate in the middle
Yay we share a birthday!!!
At home with strained lower back...not a great time to visit this site..."hahaHA Owwww". Not sure if the tears rolling down my cheeks are from the pain or laughing hysterically.
Cake mounds look like Cousin It from Addams Family & his date :))
that Number 1 cake on the left looks like a Number 2 to me!
You can not make this stuff up.
The "asbigas" cake. I did not realize that it wasn't supposed to say that until now. And I've seen it roughly 3 times.
Piped balloons must be banned.
@Sharon their are 17 holes!
Asbigas how the heck did that come from Kelly????.
My daughter's 5th birthday cake read, "Happy Birthday Mollie - Big 5" Yep, I asked for the cake to have a big "5" on it.
Cake's candle pockmarks
give celebrant facial angst.
The teen years await.