Significant other: "Honey, don't forget to grab the Independence Day cake for the party tonight!"
You: "Independy whatnow?"
You: "Independy whatnow?"
Well, don't you worry. You'll never overlook another patriotic holiday again! Introducing a revolutionary new technology in dessert Americana:
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Throw a few dozen Patriotic Pecans ™ to one side of Plastic Flag™ for a super-blast of extra pecan pride! Your guests will go nuts when they see the detail you've put into this delicious national treasure.
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Warning, April Z., Lisa P., Rose B., Jenn P., and Joan L.: Plastic Flag™ may be considered a choking hazard and should not be placed on food. Plastic Flag™ may contain traces of nuts, soy, or botulinal neurotoxins. "Patrioticsizing" is not a real word and should not be used as such. Plastic Flag™ hates puppies. Do not taunt Plastic Flag™.
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78 comments | Post a Comment
Yay happy fun ball! I wish NBC would let sketches go onto youtube. No one should be deprived of happy fun ball.
Patrioticsizing, love it!
You know, those pecans were applied by someone from the right...
*Off to order my Plastic Flag*
YES! Do not taunt plastic flag (tm)!
Yayayayayay!
This was laugh out loud comedy. Oh yeah!
-AJ
Plastic flotsum strikes again. My question is about the pecans.
Is this like a pizza -- half the cake has pecans and half doesn't? "I'll take a piece without pecans because I'm allergic to tree nuts."
Were they making pecan pies in front of a large fan and they blew onto the cake?
Is this a representation of the wind blowing the flag AND the nuts?
Did they run out of red, white and blue sprinkles?
Did a bag of pecans on the shelf above the cake fall over?
Please, someone, tell me.
Picture #4: The flag flying over Ft. McHenry survived the rockets’ red glare and the bombs bursting in air, but when the lobsterbacks threw an entire shipload of pecans at the star-spangled banner, it was all over.
^..^
OMG! Too funny! I FLOVE the small print at the end! AWESOME!
Wooohooo! My first posted CakeWreck! I can now proudly bear the title of Wreckporter. Hmmm... where to put that on my CV.
I think that pecan cake is really a BP oil spill cake turned on it's side. After all, what says America better than a good ole fashioned oil spill this 4th of July.
LOL...great post! Happy 4th!
Good grief Jen, how do you manage to be so dang funny so early in the morning? A little "treat" in your morning coffee?
Awesome! A tribute to Happy Fun Ball!! You made my morning!
Love the disclaimers! Absolutely hysterical post this morning. Thanks for the laugh!
Aren't you a bit early for Independance Day? I mean, today is CANADA DAY; aren't there any red and white maple leafed wrecks out there?
But yes, what would bakers do with their leftover cheeseburger cakes without plastic floatsam to transform them!
Pecans only on one side of the cake? These people are so indecisive!
WV: unaddiet. No pecans for me, I'm unaddiet.
Until I read that they were pecans, I thought that they were coffee beans. It was a very confusing five seconds, let me tell ya.
"Throw a few dozen Patriotic Pecans ™ to one side of Plastic Flag™ for a super-blast of extra pecan pride! Your guests will go nuts when they see the detail you've put into this delicious national treasure."
Your commentary is hysterical! Thanks for the laughs! cc
Oh my! This was my favorite post in a while. So many good lines. Hilarious.
Patriotic Pecans. Bwah haha!
And gotta love any reference to Happy Fun Ball.
Thank you - I needed a good laugh today.
AmyRaz
Awww, I was gonna compliment you on your use of "patriocizing," but now I see it's not a real word. Too bad, I'd love to see it used in the news to describe political gambits! "The candidate won the debate hands-down by patriocizing every issue."
I love your geek references, but I'm uber excited by the Happy Fun Ball reference!!
Hey! It's Canada Day... no Canadian wrecks? That leaf on our flag really seems to throw wreckerators for a loop.
:)
Ah well... I can always cross my fingers for next year ;)
Love the announcer vibe - you always write the funniest posts! Love it!
@Anonymous - lookee lookee! http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/schillervision-hidden-camera/2656/
Yay, Happy Fun Ball!!
Carmiehead
PS "IndependyWhatnow?" almost made me choke on my drink. XD
Hmmmm, wish there were some Canadian wrecks for Canada Day today. But we always enjoy a good US wreck too:)
1) Happy Canada Day and it's all the better for seeing US flag silliness.
2) I just saw this and thought of you:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Steampunk-USB-Flash-Drive/
3) I heart you for the Happy Fun Ball joke. (PS I almost said Happy Fun Ball gag and then realized that that would be very, very, very different.) I bet you'd like one of the LJ icons I made ages ago: http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/33975999/4794476
you know, aside from the pecan disaster, i can see what decorators were thinking making those cakes... they're all american pastimes! drinking beer, fishing, eating a hamburger - all reasonable 4th of july activities. doesn't excuse the plastic flag though :P
Your blog is absolutely hilarious!!!! You make the greatest stories to go with these cakes!!! LOVE EM!
Knew there was a reason I came back again to make sure that I was just up too early to see today's post.
Now there are tears ... oh, the pecans and plastic flag of it all! Darn you, patrioticsizing Jen.
I'm going to include Cakewrecks on my 'what am I thankful for' during joys and concerns on Sunday morning. Can't help it -- it's so good for my soul to laugh so hard.
~~Di
Oh Canada, our home and native land...
Do not taunt the plastic flag (tm) doing so could result in explosion or jail time...
Funny as always, happy Independence Day!
As an English scholar for the last 7+ years, working toward a terminal degree ('cause only one of us is getting out alive), I have to say the following:
A-hem.
After careful consideration (over the last few seconds) I believe it is safe to say that cakewrecks has met all the criterion for new word creation and I thereby propose that we grant real-word status to the term patrioticizing.
That is all.
Those pecans look like they're swarming the flag.
Ummm yea...this is pitiful lol
ahhhaaaahaaaahaaaaa!!!!
Aww...bummer. I was hoping to see some Canadian wrecks for Canada Day and it's all USA wrecks. :(
Good god, major lol's ahead. Although, considering that Samuel Adam was a brewer, on the beer cake it's okay
Maybe the flag on the burger cake was to help you identify it as a burger. I mean, many places do call it the "all american" hamburger, right? Only thing I could come up with.
wrecky or not (wait, I say that like I'm not sure....it is :)) if I saw that first one I would buy it and it would make me giggle to no end
Seriously love the SNL reference. So much so that I googled the skit, found it on the NBC website, and had to watch it immediately.
you couldn't have found any Canada Day cakes for July 1st. sigh
That was hilarious!
American flags on Canada day? aw...
ZOMG! Epic entry! That was awesome.
WV: muncepl- You should recognize muncepl workers with a Platic Flag(tm) cake!
Shame on you Jen for not knowing today was Canada day! Why don't you have every single holiday in every single country memorized so you can choreograph your blog more appropriately?
Shame, shame, shame!
Epcot!
And I'm proud to be an American
For at least I know I'm free
Free to patriotcize my cake
With pecans from a tree
And I proudly stand up
Next to you and defend that plastic flag today
Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
Cake Wrecks, USA!
=3
I can't stop reading this as the SNL Skit with Alec Baldwin "Put your family pictcha in a brandy snifta"
Make ya cake patriotic with a Plastic Flag{tm}
Wow - I just wet my Patriotic Pants™.
Number1, Jen has taught you well. That had me in stitches. :D
That was Totally SWEET!!! Well done Jen!! I totally heard the announcer voice the entire way through.... and now it's stuck in my head. Especially the supper-fast disclaimer at the end.
Whoa! I totally gave kudos to Jen for that post and then I realized it was Number 1.
SO sorry, Number 1. I am not worthy to be in the presence of your blog-writing glory! Well done, indeed!
I was reading, I was hoping you were going to, and you did. Do not taunt Plastic Flag. You rock! Thank you. And thank the dear, sweet, Lord that they are not selling the pecan cake at my grocery store or I would have to buy one and keep it forever on a shelf in my basement because that is just too funny!
This was one of your best updates! I loved the infomercial theme and the Happy Fun Ball reference.
Also, Plastic Flag on ANYTHING.
-Tracy S
Seriously, this post needs to go into the classics archive immediately. Good stuff, Jen. Absolutely hysterical!
I totally did the same thing as Tiffany--kudos to the wrong person! Nice job, Number 1!!!
"Patrioticize" it totally legit IMHO
Plasticizing a cake, however, should be outlawed.
@ladyrazorsharp
Love that tune so much better than the barroom anthem we've got now.
See. "Anacreon in Heaven" that's the original song the tune was swiped from. But then, you're either a trained singer or totally bombed to be able to sing the full range.
Plastic Flag could have repaired the purse Dad cake! Does it come with an anti-cupcake cake (ptui!) cloaking shield?
I stared at the pecans for a long time. What on earth...?
This makes me so happy.
You have me laughing out loud - again!
Yay, Happy Fun Ball with its molten core! One of my all-time favorites. ;)
Love the "Happy Fun Ball" reference. This is one of the best of your blogs, and that's saying a lot!
I started laughing out loud when I started reading about Patriotic Pecans(tm). My fiance gave me a funny look, but all I had to do was say "Cake Wrecks" and he understood. Thanks for the giggle!
ugh. brings back horrid memories of all of my birthdays as a kid. Kind of sucks being born on the 4th of July. Everyone wants to get you a "flag cake" because "OMG SHE'LL LOVE IT!" thinking no one in your entire 47 years would have thought of that before.
lol sorry. I don't hate my birthday because I'm getting older, it just isn't fun being born on a national holiday. (except for the day off from work that is!)
Karen
fine print said really quickly:
Plastic Flag(tm) is only orderable in Canadian provinces and some cities in California. Plastic Flag(tm) is not to be held responsible for damage caused to the cake maker or cake eater by either Plastic Flag(tm) product or reaction of guests from usage of Plastic Flag(tm) product. No CODs. No LOLs. No WTFs. ...okay, a few of the latter. Plastic Flag (tm) should be used with care when making a CCC.
Patriotic Pecans(tm) is a trademark of the same makers of Plastic Flag(tm) and is exclusive to the usage of Plastic Flag(tm) products and are not always edible. Patriotic Pecans(tm) are not to be used with any other confection other than Plastic Flag(tm) pastries. These restrictions include but are not limited to pecan bread, pecan muffins, trek mix, pecan pralines, or pecan beer.
Please do not consume Plastic Flag(tm). No refund without a receipt. No proof of sale nor receipt given on date of sale. May Blog have mercy on your soul amen.
BWAHAHAHA! PlacticFlag hates Puppies! Now that is just mean!
Wow I want some patriotic pecans. Maybe I could light those instead of fireworks since they are illegal where I am lol. Oh never ever taunt the plastic flag it has ways of showing up in unexpected places and I am sure one can be found on a baby shower cake somewhere..
Okay, I don't know if I have EVER laughed this hard at any entry on this site as I have this particular one. I am not only reminded of the "Happy Fun Ball" commercial on SNL but somehow also the "Ren and Stimpy" LOG! commercial LOL
I am with Tricia L up there and all of the pecans. In my best Jerry Seinfeld voice, I say, "What is the deal with all of the pecans? Did a giant squirrel sneeze them all on to the cake but just to the right and not the left? Is the cake trying to be part divinity?" Ha ha...I slay me.
This might be one of the funniest posts (commentary-wise) that I've ever read on this site. I want to order my PLASTIC FLAG right now!
Just for a second, I thought maybe the pecans were a metaphor for anti-american sentiment, ravenously encroaching upon our national symbol like so many hungry cockroaches.
Perhaps a little too esoteric for a Wreckerator...
;-P
Liz
SO freakin' funny!!!
Hmm, patriotic cheeseburger cake.... Does it come w/ freedom fries?
I love the shell border around the beer mug. It just adds that fancy touch, don't you think? ;)
Thank you for the alert that pecans are the new sprinkles. From now on I'm going to throw (and I do mean THROW) pecans on all my baked goods, just for good measure. Who needs sprinkles anyways?? They're SO out of fashion! lol ;)
best. post. ever.
kthxbai!
I WANT TO ORDER A PLASTIC FLAG! Do you have any for other countries, say, Philippines? Anyway, that last cake would've looked great if it weren't for the Patriotic Pecans™. But it looks so AWESOME now~
I made a flag cake from an idea from Betty Crocker. The cake looked really great until I frosted it, now, it belongs on yoru site. I made a status about it on FB and my friend mentioned your site. Yep, it truly belongs here, but we'll just leave it in the refrigerator and try to forget about it. Note to self: I truly do not have cake decorating skills. Next year, I will try a plastic flag!
I was expecting something totally different when I saw this post title, since it's Gay Pride week where I live!
Also, I'm Canadian so the whole "Independance Day" thing didn't come to mind since July 1 is Canada Day!
Plastic flag ate my puppy.
Did anyone else hear Billy Mays in their heads while reading?
PlasticFlag wanders
from cake to cake to cake
searching for true love.