Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Name That Wreck!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I grew up with friends named Shannyn, Jesica, Jaison, and Aiyrunn, so I'm used to spelling names all "modern" and "stupid-like." Still, this is getting ridiculous.


Maybe it's Russian?

Well, at least they spelled "Birlhday" right.


We really hope Uncle Boon likes his cake; it was a joint effort.

When you're weeding out the bad cakes, shouldn't this one be high on the list?
(And does anyone else have the munchies?)


Ah, finally, a cake that describes the cake's consistency AND the birthday girl's skin tone:

Still, it kinda pales in comparison with other cakes, doesn't it?


Do you think this cake contains nuts?

Because it certainly has the berries. (HEY-O!)


Meghan, Michelle R., Matt A., and John C., I'm glad you all have pretty standard names, since now I have to have our intern, Gaffudga Selph (she's French), send out an apology for my insulting all of the Aiyrunns out there.




UPDATE: From the desk of Ms. G. Selph:

Dear Reader,

Please note that the authors and employees of Cake Wrecks™ and all of its subsidiaries, including but not limited to Cake Wrecks Footwear™ and Cake Wrecks Plumbing and Air Conditioning™, in no way mean to imply or construe that any or all names used in today's post are in any way, shape, or form "stupid-like."
(Even those that are.) We apologize for any confusion.

Sincerely,

Gaffudga Selph

Mel said...

I thought the second one said "Uncle Bony" and the joint effort joke was refering to a knee or hip or something, then you threw me for a loop with the weed joke. Now I see it!

Anonymous said...

What's up with the sides on Unc's cake? It looks like a fly tried to get in (lower leftish) and like something tried to get out (lower mid to rightish). Scary.

DB

wv: haere, as in We have a haere situation here. Oh, just slather on some more icing. No one will notice!

Miranda said...

Now those are my kind of jokes! XD

heh heh heh. weed. heh heh heh. Puff, puff, pass!

Wendy said...

he he he...

Anonymous said...

Happy Bodhday Kvein? Double whammy!

Ms. G. Selph - you rock!


WV: redom
"Yeah, I redom those there cake orders and what's the problem with Kvein's cake?"

Jill said...

That first cake doesn't look like birlhday to me. It says Bodhday....is that like the potty?

Connie Moreno said...

The disclaimer at the end is what had me rolling in my cubicle!!

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHA!

A Paperback Writer said...

The sack cake is really pretty -- except for the name....

GrnEyes said...

*LAUGH* Even having grown up with an "alternative" spelling of a common name (Kristy) I still think these are unusual names. I'm going to take a stab and say the first is "Kevin" although the really funny part is how they screwed up birthday, even though they spelled it right! The uncle cake, I'm sort of praying is a private joke and I'm thinking the next cake was supposed to be Patsy but Pasty is much funnier. And now that you've got me craving snacks, pass the cashews! :)

Anonymous said...

The berry cake actually looks pretty tasty...a nice way to cure my munchies....

TJ said...

#1 is a perfect example of someone neither dotting their i's nor crossing their t's.

Tiffany said...

I love your puns.... your commentary... Thank you!!!!!

We were at an amusement park yesterday and the guy on the mic on the train ride was AWFUL!!!! I kept thinking, "I wish Jen from CakeWrecks was here instead. I'd much rather have clever puns!"

Sharon said...

Twilight, and black water,
Eyes crossed, and Happy Falker's.
Staring at the misspelled name,
The Wreckerators are to blame.

And I can't get it out of my head,
No, I can't get it out of my head,
Now my cake world is gone for dead,
'cause I can't get it out of my head,
Thanks to Jen.

Sharon's Edible Art

Gina said...

What was "Sack" supposed to say?

Mugdha said...

Particularly good cake puns on this post. You were definitely on a roll, haha!

msyendor said...

wv: Retriest -- If first you don't secceed, retriest again (and, as always, giving your bestest effort)

Anonymous said...

actually the uncle cake says "uncle bong", which is a perfectly normal name in the philippines. of course, one of the most popular actors here is named "dingdong"

T said...

I have GOT to stop reading this blog while eating cereal. Of course, I could probably spew my bran flakes on a cake and sell it, that appears to be par for the course.

Scotland said...

Gina: I think it was supposed to be either Jack or Zack instead of Sack.

I have to say Jen, am loving the puns, I did some good drug related ones that you missed out at the end of my drugs awareness post: http://diaryofascoutleader.blogspot.com/search/label/drugs%20awareness

Keep them coming Jen!

jo said...

Uncle Bong!! either he has a bad drug habit, or the cake buyers had the munchies and are celebrating their own habit, which apparently the bakers have too, considering the cake is smooth on one side and combed on the other. inconsistent decorating....they must be high. love the puns!

Poor Pasty. Maybe she needs some sun. or she's British. or from Seattle.

Sack's cake is beautiful! nice penmanship, lovely chocolate bow and fresh berries. It just needs a twig to go with those berries.

jo said...

@ Mel--Uncle Bony could mean a whole other joint effort! just ask Sack! *nudge nudge, wink wink*

knitorpurl said...

The name Kvein is sure to be in the top ten baby names soon. I can actually see some rapper using it: K'vein

I'd love to get the berry cake. But don't call me Sack.

Anonymous said...

Sack was the nickname of the obnoxious fiance of Rachel MacAdams in the Wedding Crashers. He liked to beat people up. He'd probably beat up the decorator for making such a pretty cake.

wv: spits. self explanatory. what most commenters testify they have done with their cereal or coffee as they read this blog over breakfast. eh, T?

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I find it very annoying when people spell names all "modern." Aiyrunn, it is no reflection on you, it is a reflection on your parents. If the "supid-like" comment bothered you, don't be complaining when people mispronounce or misspell your name.

Anonymous said...

Love this! Can't stand 'creative' spelling for names. Might want to give the Kvein cake some slack tho, unless you have it on good authority that it was a wreck; my mom is a teacher and had a Kvyn (boy, pronounced Kevin) in her class last year.

wv: stsyc - hey, if Kvyn can be a name maybe Stsyc can be too...

The Dream Police Person! said...

Oh, cool! I'm totally gonna name my kid Gaffudga!... It's either that, Riz, or Kvein.

The Boob Nazi said...

"Sack" reminds me of "Wedding Crashers." I thought his name was "Sack" instead of "Zack" for like, two years.

Patsy A said...

OMG- that Pasty cake really hits home with me! My name it Patsy, and I cannot even tell you how many times it has been spelled "Pasty!" I wish I had some pictures of my past birthday cakes to post!

NYCGirl said...

That last cake does look good (licks lips).

Sometimes I amuse myself by trying to think of the weirdest possible spelling of my (conventionally-spelled) name, and mentally thank my parents for not going that route.

Erin said...

Kvein! haha.

surealist47 said...

They all look yummy to me. I love the feelings put into each one.
Michael

Anonymous said...

Well, a pasty (pron. passty) can be a lovely meat and vegetable pastry (fold over pie) that Welch miners take in their lunch boxes, but then there are the "other" pasties (pron. paasty) - maybe the wreckerator really meant those. It is really confusing. Is this becoming an adult site? That's what's so good abount puns. Norine

Anonymous said...

Cake 1: Actually they didn't spell 'birthday' right either. It looks like BILTHDAY to me... Didn't cross the t or dot the i, for that matter.

Linda K.

Patricia said...

Too bad they screwed up the "Sack", 'cause the cake itself was lovely.

Anonymous said...

We've been trying to come up with a way to suggest to a friend that he has a substance abuse problem. Maybe saying it with cake would be just the ticket.

Victoria said...

Nuts... berries... sack... ~snigger~

Angelina Krell said...

LMFAO Gaffudga Selph I LOVE IT!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

mizdarlin said...

Well a good friend of mine is named
Patsy, and I called her Pasty, affectionately, as a kind of nickname..so, technically speaking (if you're into technicalities, and I just know you are) that cake may not qualify as an official, certifiable Wreck....

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

Je passe le bonjour à Mlle Selph.

-French Bean

catchat105 said...

Or maybe that first cake says "Happy Budhay" since, y'know, there's no dot on the "i," either...

I thought the second cake said "Uncle Bong" haha... I guess that's just how messed up the handwriting is.

Anonymous said...

Next time someone complains, let them know the head of your customer service department is Helen Waite. If they need to complain to someone they can go to Helen Waite.

ladyrazorsharp said...

I was thinking that Bong was probably a name from another nationality, but still--makes us Yanks look twice! XD

Sack's cake is lovely. Not sure which country that's from (perhaps Gigglestein?)...

Just proves that sometimes wrecks are blatant offenses towards humanity (Kvein?)...and some are a bit more subtle. =)

Anonymous said...

Haha . . . it took me a moment to figure out what was going on with the French interns name. ;)

Anonymous said...

I truly think the second cake is not a wreck. And yes, munchies it would be, all around.

(I couldn't figure out what you were saying Boon for)

As to others... ugh.

WV- unchrew -- "that I mispelt the name is unchrew." spoken by wreckerator #3

Becky said...

Laughing SO HARD at the last one because now all I can think of is the characater "Sack" from Wedding Crashers!! "That's what we call a Sack Lunch! Mmmmnnnnmmmmmnn!"
Yes, I do believe it contains nuts!! ROFL! OMGosh!

Tatersmama said...

Yep for sure... I think that the first "cake" says "Happy Bodhday Kvein"...

And at first, I thought that was a FLY on the lower left of Uncle Bongs' cake.... but on second thought, maybe it's just a left over roach?

wv: persed
I would be very persed if they tried to pass Unc's cake off as a joint effort.

Anonymous said...

Seriously...no matter how bad these cakes look, I get a horrible craving for cake with globs of frosting every single time I look at this site!!

Anonymous said...

The last cake is even funnier in german. "Sack" means usually "bag", but also "scrotum". And it's popular to call someone a scrotum, although it's not very nice ;-)

Craig said...

#1 Depending on how long I stare at it, I get either 'bodhday' (some kind of Celtic event, perhaps?) or 'birlhday' which for some reason fits nicely with 'Kvein'.

Note the now-standard balloon on the right.

#2 reminds me of the famous saying, "Where the mind is, the piping bag will follow."

#3 either is a pasty disguised as a cake (I sincerely hope not, given the frosting and the sprinkles) or it conveys to Patsy the touching sentiment, "I remembered just as the bakery department was closing. Start feeling special now."

#4 What is the difference between weekday and Sunday? One letter.

wv: swind. Fictitious root of 'swindle', which is apropos of absolutely nothing seen here. No, really.

Stephanie said...

Thank you for making my day...every day. The sack cake about sent me over the edge. You are brilliant and lovely and funny and all other good things.

Jenny said...

Oh my god! Happy birthday Sack!

Susan Marie said...

The "Pasty" cake made me think of my daughter, Betsy. I'd be rich if I had a dollar every time someone spelled her name as "Besty"!

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen and John!
Love the blog so!, many happy mornings here in Australia thanks to you! Wanted to pass on a site I think you will love unhappyhipsters.com enjoy!
Lizette

AW said...

That first wreckerator needs to cross his "T"s and dot his "I"s!

AW

Sturat said...

the word "birthday" may be spelled on Kvein's cake if the "t" was crossed.

Anonymous said...

hooked on fonics workd fur me;)

Kirsten said...

Uncle Bong's cake has to be my favorite, if only because of the joint jokes. xD

(Also, I wanted to share this: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/cupcakes-and-6-other-food-trends-that-have-lost-their-cool-2143737/#photoViewer=1

Are they seriously bashing cupcakes? Now, if it was CCCs *patooey* I could understand, but to call cupcakes a fad is ridiculous -- they're dessert!)

Anonymous said...

Come on. We all have an "Uncle Bong" don't we? And we much prefer him to "Uncle Windowless Van."

Gaffudga? See, I would have thought that was a Norwegian name. Maybe her mother is from there.

Arlene said...

That last cake looked pretty nice and at least birthday was spelled properly lol. Poor Sack if that is in fact their name spelled correctly. Then again I have seen weirder names. As for that pasty cake I think they meant party or the birthday girl needs a tan lol.

shikishinobi said...

Friggin' DUH! Hello! These people are like jack o'lanterns, the lights are on but clearly, no one is home. I wonder how many of them think "They probably won't notice."? I also wonder what the wreckorater was thinking about when he was writing the lettering for our uncle. I wonder a lot of things, and I don't want answers either.

Anonymous said...

What on earth is Aiyrunn supposed to be? Not Aaron, surely? Sad.

KritterBugg said...

Birthday was spelled right, but they still forgot to cross the "t" and dot the "i"!!! ;o)

DK @ http://sweetsbyd.blogspot.com/

Delibird said...

I know I'm showing my age, but when I saw the last photo, I thought someone had made a cake for Sad Sack, the old army cartoon character created by George Baker.

While I was too naive to share any of your dirty thoughts about the reference to "nuts" and "berries," I did recall how ol' Sad Sack's name was short for "a sad sack of s--t." (Which is just a different kind of dirty, I guess.) At least poor Sack got a nice-looking cake.

miranda said...

I just have to say I love your comment "(And does anyone else have the munchies?)". I was thinking just before I scrolled to see that line, “man cake sounds really good right now. Maybe I can run to the store and go get some.” I guess there is something super subliminal in your postings ;-)

Thanks for all your great postings!

Melanie said...

My mom recently misspelled our aunt Patsy's name the same way...brought a lot of humor to a difficult situation. Ah, the little things.

Valerie said...

Thanks for the clarification on the "stupid-like" names. Thought, I think those names are kind of self-evident.

http://theteeshirtproject.blogspot.com/

wenx said...

Heh...I actually had a great-uncle who was nicknamed Sack :) I think it might be a southern thing, but around here when you get a nickname it often replaces your real name for the rest of your life. (Where his nickname came from, though, I have no idea--I have yet to find out.) Anyway, I would've absolutely expected that if someone had gotten my G-Uncle Sack a birthday cake (back while he was still alive), it could've looked just like this.

However, I suspect that my family is probably that "exception to the rule", and I'd be willing to bet money that this was a real Wreck and not some strange nickname convention like his ;)

~Wen

WV: detrip - my family is really detrip, for sure! if you think the nickname 'Sack' was funny, then you'd probably get a kick out of my other great-uncles Dink and Jabo (actually *another* part of the family!) ;)