Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Last week, we left our courageous cranium in the grips of the Evil Dr. Irving Expector Ant and his band of Belliger Ants. Will our hero escape? Or will the city of Metropolis be overrun with outrageous outlaws most...malignANT? Let's find out, as we continue with...

The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head!!!


BUM BUM BUUUUMMM


Ant minion #1: "Haha! We've got you now, Spiderman Head!

Dr. Expector Ant: "Yes, and when we're through with you, there won't be any body for the police to find! Mwahaha! Right, boys?"

Ant minion #2: "Well, obviously, boss. He doesn't *have* a body."

Dr. Expector Ant: "Silence! I kill you!!"

Ant minion #3: "Um. So...is now a good time to ask for a promotion?"

Ant minion #1: "Hey, where'd Spiderman Head go?"


Dr. Expector Ant: What?!? He's escaped?
Noooooooo!!


Meanwhile, our bravely balancing brain bowl bounced his way to freedom!

"My trusty spider-bot ought to crash their party. Ha! So long, ignorANTS!"


With the persistent pest population handled, Spiderman Head heads home for some much-needed family time:

"G'nite, Mom, g'nite, Dad!"

"Goodnight, Son."

"G'nite, Uncle Sherb!

"Uncle Sherb?

"Da-aad! I think we brought the football in instead of Uncle Sherb again."

"Don't worry, son, we'll get him out of the yard in the morning."


Little did Spiderman Head know that his brother Sherb was NOT in the yard, but rather in the grips of the maniacal madman, Monochromatic Max!

"Aaaauuugh!! Help me, Spiderman Head!"

Will our noteworthy noggin' notice his brother's absence in time?!? Or will Uncle Sherb be doomed to a colorless demise?

Tune in next week for the thrilling continuation of...

The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head!!



Thanks to Wreckporters Tim H., Stephanie Z., Margaret R., Carolina D., & Amy H. for helping me get ahead.

Update from john: Spiderman Head is the Amazing Spider-Man's nephew. In an act of teenage angst, he de-hyphenated his name and moved to Metropolis where he currently works with Super-Man Head.
Amy said...

Wait...so Spidey has an Uncle Sherb and an Uncle Sherm?

Anonymous said...

That was hilarious! Thanks for the morning laugh.

Meg R.

Chef Runner said...

Is that cookie moldy? Just ick.

Lindalou said...

So is Spiderman Head and ants a new prevalent cake design out there? These cakes are crazy...but why are the first two identical in design?

I will stay tuned for the next thrilling episode. Ba-Ba-Bum.

Becky said...

The cupcakes with the football kind of reminds me of that Sesame Street song - "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not the same..." lol! Crazy!

The Black Dog said...

HAHAHAHA! Dr. Expector Ant has been learning from Achmed.

"Bravely Balancing Brain Bowl" I must find a way to use this in a sentence this week.

Anonymous said...

Great post! I'm sensing an instant classic!

Jenniffer said...

Dr. Expector Ant?? OMG, you just made me to a SPIT take!! LOL!!

motherbynature said...

Bonus points for the Achmed the Dead Terrorist quote!!!

Anyway, there's no spiderman head on the second cake (he escaped, remember?). I think the cake design is just "ants stealing a cupcake" and the first one just happened to be a spiderman-head cupcake...

Jessa said...

Does it make me a geek if I read the whole thing with the movie announcer guy's voice in my head? Thanks for the laugh, you're absolutely brilliant!

Cakey Goodness said...

Awesome!

wv: idesse. Don't give wreckerators any more bad idesse.

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

Kudos for the annoying, affected and awesome alliteration.

-French Bean

the mama said...

I enjoy the Achmed reference.

Stressfactor said...

As a comic book geek I feel I must point out that Spider-man does *not* reside in Metropolis. Spider-Man patrols New York City and the surrounding environs. Superman lives in Metropolis.

After that... hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I hope this isn't another Epcot, but... isn't Metropolis the city for Superman? Spidey hearts NYC!

Love it when you tell a story using cake wrecks :)

Teresa said...

That is some great writing! You should turn it into a comic book and release it. ;)

Teresa
simplyenduring.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

OMG, I laughed and laughed. The first one is ants at a picnic - thank you for the second one to explain that. Why the football, did they run out of flotsam?

Jenn said...

You know, the stories you write to connect all the wrecks really make it work. I like!

Lili said...

"Silence! I kill you!"

I love that Dr. Expector Ant is channeling Jeff Dunham's Achmed, the Dead Terrorist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umpdfYuVwmQ

EG said...

I kind of like the ones with the ants stealing the cupcake (not sure how Spiderman fits in, though).

teri said...

I can't wait for the next installment of Spidey head. Should be worth the wait.

Bryna said...

Monochromatic spidey is just gross. They couldn't spring for the extra icing to actually ice the ENTIRE cake? Eeeewwwww.... it makes the other ones, surprisingly, seem professional. Bodiless and all!

Vicki said...

*slow clap*



Awesome!

Connie Moreno said...

I am speechless!!!! (In a good way!)

My Genes Are Crafty said...

You almost made me snort Dr Pepper out my nose! This was great. :)

Rachel T. said...

Who knew that Achmed the Dead Terrorist moonlighted as Dr. Expector Ant? Love the reference! Weird how Spidey heads are so popular ... *scratching head*

Love your site,
Rachel

Amanda said...

Oh, my gosh. Those were the best names of all time! I just lol'd so much! Your attention to the little details is amazing--you're so ped-ANT-ic, in the best way psosible =D

Little Lovables said...

oh the hilarity! My 4 year old loved it.

Babsiegirl said...

So, um, not to call you out as being less geeky than you imagined...But, Spiderman lives in New York City. Superman lives in Metropolis. Although, perhaps your point was that Spiderman Head lives in Metropolis? Anyway, it was totally hilarious. Great story.

Anonymous said...

ROFL!!!

Anonymous said...

He not only had an Uncle Sherb and Sherm, but apparently a brother Sherb as well. Who knew? And he lives in Metropolis not New York? Total weirdness haha

Jeff

Trevor said...

This was really funny! You had me chuckling as I read this, especially the first part. That was pure genius.

However, I do feel obligated to finally point out that correctly, there's a hyphen in his name. It's really supposed to be Spider-Man. But that's just a tiny little detail.

Personally, I can't wait for the next episode of "Spider-Head!"

Fanboy Wife said...

Spider-Head!
Spider-Head!
He's a spider and a head!

Julia said...

Love the Achmed the Dead Terrorist reference!

Rebekah said...

This definitely goes in my Top 5 Favorite Cake Wrecks Posts Ever!

Tammy said...

Love the Achmed the Dead Terrorist quote - I wonder if there are any Achmed wrecks out there....hint hint...

Sharon said...

References to Achmed the Dead Terrorist, the Waltons, and The Fly all in one post. Brilliant!

Hate the ants on the cakes. We had one at our Albertson's store. Ants on watermelon CCC. Patooie!

Sharon's Edible Art

Kelly said...

The ants on a picnic blanket is a cute idea, but the Spiderman Head is very out of place. Either way, I love the Achmed reference! "A-C-phleeegm"

Laura said...

I just thought I'd let you know, Cake Wrecks brightens my day every time you post. I really enjoy this blog... and Epbot is great as well for my geeky, girly fill. :)

Thank you for doing what you do!

-Laura

Bub said...

Ants? On a cake. That is supposed to be eaten. Ewwwww.

Jen said...

The Ant comments reminds me so much of the Xanth series.

Esty said...

Great way to weave a story, Jen! (you got it, right - WEAVE)

BTW, Sherb transmutated to Sherm in the last paragraph. Might want to clean that up.

anawinston said...

every post is funny. every cake is horrific. this post shows why you are a blogger on another level. Truly great humor writing and glorious display of geekiness! much love!

Renny said...

I like that Dr. Expector Ant is also a dead terrorist...

Anonymous said...

All the Ant words remind me of Xanth novels by Piers Anthony, a fantastic read if you got the Ant jokes! And I loved the anouncer voice, I did the same thing for my bestfriend's bachelorette party, it's a superhero theme! lol. Keep up the great work!

Mary Connealy said...

Gray frostiong for spiderman?

LOL, please, just don't bother next time.

Carley said...

I'm thinking you had A LOT of fun writing that post. I certainly had fun reading it! Nice work!

Kate Halleron said...

Spider-Head!
Spider-Head!
Fights a terrorist who is dead!

Lives in New York!
Not in Met-
tropolis
Yeah, you bet!

Hey, look out!
Ants stole the Spider-Head!

WV: persi - persiAN ice cream is my new favorite thing in the world! (Well, it is)

Ali said...

wow these cakes are simply awesome. How can anyone make cakes so beautiful

Learn Italian

Erika Beth, the Messy Chef said...

Dr. Expector Ant = Achmed? Ach! Say it ain't so! Spider Man Head is in trouble!!! He might laugh to death.

Erin - Thrift Madness said...

Best blog commentary ever!

ally said...

This is my new favorite post. It has everything: a story, multiple hilarious cakes, and a Jeff Dunham reference! Way to go, Cakewrecks! PS: Anyone else notice the irony in the fact that there is in fact a hyphen in the word "de-hyphenate"? ;)

Anonymous said...

Absolutely hilarious. Thank you for that! And to John, I love your back story. Keep up the good work!
Tina

love.this.apartment said...

Loved this! I won't lie the monster sized ants were just as scary as the mini spidey head.

Raven said...

That was hilarious, especially the Jeff Dunham reference! That's great!

The Boob Nazi said...

The first two made me shiver with disgust.

Drgns4vr said...

When Uncle Sherb places his wagers at the horse track does that make it a Sherbet?

drumnate said...

At least without a body he can't shoot webs from his crotch.

Anonymous said...

Kate Halleron, great re-working of the Spider-Man song lyrics - I love it!

I, too, appreciated the Achmed reference. I heart Achmed.

Anonymous said...

I think it is hilarious that most of the wrecks with labels come from the same company, and that company has so many stores in so many different areas of the country.....they really do not pay the bakers or cake decorators enough there LOL!

ladyrazorsharp said...

Bwahahahahaha!

Wow, the Spiderman 3 (I'm assuming that's what the 'monochromatic' SMH cookie abomination is) thing is just...yikes.

Although I DID think that the 'picnic' cake was rather well done. However it is the ONLY cake I have ever seen where plastic ants are actually placed appropriately.

I think my favorite though is the web shooting out of SMH's neck. Wow, this guy is multitalented! Or just wrecky. Yeah, probably just wrecky.

WV: Aingla--These wrecks don't look good from ANY aingla.

Michelle said...

That was hysterical. And calls desperately for the Moxy Fruvous Spiderman Theme cover!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYh7x9UX0vI

"Spidey, the fun...licker!"

Voltaire said...

Dear Jen,
Long-time lurker, first-time commenter, but I just had to write in this time to say that this was your best post yet! The cakes were funny, but the story you invented was priceless. It was really like a morning superhero show. Thank you so much for all the laughs!

Californiutahan said...

Anybody else frightened that that yucky looking giant cookie is $7.99? lol

StefRobrts said...

The moldy grey spiderman head cookie is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! We need a health inspector over here, stat!

Fluffy Cow said...

Perfect post.

Anonymous said...

Love the reference to Achmed!! Also, all the "ant" words reminds me of Vincent Price as Egghead on the 60s Batman tv series.

I actually kind of liked the ants carrying off a cupcake. It's cute, and it's not like they are real ants, just plastic flotsom.

You are very witty and funny, but you obviously don't read the comics. Your innocent errors that everyone feels obliged to point out gave you away. It's would be like if I tried to announce a football game. "Okay, I think the smaller guy is going to throw the ball to that guy running over there . . . "

wv: trats - "Trats! Foiled Again!"

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Finding speech difficult now, after reading entire blog to tie all these together. Good thing typing requires no air to the lungs.

If cakewrecks ever go out of style... (hoping, praying they never do) ever consider a ghost writing job for graphic novels?

TOTALLY awesome Jeff Dunham reference. Love that guy.

~~Di
brammedt - Methinks someone brammedt that Spidey guy down into the ground, so we only see his nephewhead.

Mark said...

It took me a while but then it dawned on me, the ants with a cupcake design is the standard design, the checkerboard patterns is the blanket. Some enterprising cake designer jammed a spidey head onto it and voila new cake

Tricia L said...

Anonymous 12:46pm said...
"I think it is hilarious that most of the wrecks with labels come from the same company, and that company has so many stores in so many different areas of the country.....they really do not pay the bakers or cake decorators enough there LOL!"

Actually those labels with the word "Bakery" inside the brown rectangle are at lots of different bakeries. I've seen them at bakeries as excellent as Publix AND as questionable as Walmart. They probably buy them from the same printing company that just changes the name on them. Might be supplied by the company that sold them the printers that spew out that list of ingredients in teeny, tiny type.

Wasn't planning to comment today until I saw that post, but since I'm here ... WHY would they have Spidy heads in the first place? Are they supposed to bake a cake that is shaped like the body and slap the head on it? I just don't understand the point at all.

lisadh said...

Simply brilliant, Jen! Loved it!

Leah said...

Thanks for the laugh! (complete with coffee out the nose!)

The Double Dipped Life said...

That last one looks like the head was left outside for more than 1 night... and rotted... gross!

Jen Ben said...

ROTFLMAO!! OMG...too funny Jen!
Those cupcakes & cakes wouldn't be anything buy awful without the commentary! Thanks for the laugh this morning! =)

Jacqui B. said...

I'm glad to see that Spiderman Head and Superman Head are not divided down the Marvel/DC line. Unlike Superman and Spider-Man in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av6fWfmugds

Carryn said...

Think that the gross cookie is supposed to be Venom, not Spidey.

DJ said...

The Chocolate Chip Clossal (!) Cookie at the end: Spidey Head or Achmed? I can't tell. Especially through my tears of laughter.

txcynna said...

I used to just love this site... Now I also really REALLY love YOU. This was indeed the most amusing and epic thing I've been exposed to in months. Go Spider-head!

Donna M.

FireflySpark said...

Great post as usual but as someone who lives inside comic books I must say, Spiderman doesn't look after Metropolis, that's Superman. Spiderman just protects plain old New York.
:)

Anonymous said...

agrees, great post! So much cleverness! Now I am motivated to scour my city for other decapitated superheros and villains lurking on frosted treats.

Elly said...

I should have known you are a Jefuhfuh Dunhaaaaam fan!! :)

Anonymous said...

There actually is an Antman in the Marvel universe (sometimes). He doesn't have ant powers, but he can get ants to do stuff for him (He can also change his size and do science). I wonder what Spidey did to make him so mad.....

Anonymous said...

OMG! Hilarious post!

EVEN BETTER (and I'm a computer idiot so I can't get a screen shot of it to share) is that Google Ads has a Terminex ad up on the left hand side of the page (at 1:30 pm CST). Love it!

Anonymous said...

Very clever angle; I enjoyed it! As for that last exhibit...eww. The black dye seeped into the cake and the pukey gray icing made me shudder. Blekh, who's gonna eat that?

Wait, I just have to add that my word verification for this comment is..wait for it..."antene!"

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm strange, but I think the ant cakes are cute. Very funny post too.

I don't think Spiderman needs a hyphen. It's his last name. Peter Spiderman. It's a time-honored Yiddish name, dontcha know.

- Anne

Anonymous said...

I love you.

That is all.

Angela said...

I think I'm going to be sick...

jo said...

Great story! Hilarious episode. and @drumnate who said...
"At least without a body he can't shoot webs from his crotch."

ROFL! good point! nor can he cavort with superman. much....

Miradwyn said...

Spiderman in Carbonite?

Anonymous said...

lol I love you stories

Anonymous said...

Expector Ant. Lolz

Chriss said...

LOL Made me snicker and smile. Thanks! :D

Cadence said...

This just made me smile. Love the blog!

sheree said...

hahaha u crack me up! thanx for the daily laughs :)

cpeezers said...

I just discovered your blog today (through the recommendation of another blogging friend - thank goodness for her!) Awesome! So funny, maybe I do have a future as a cake decorator. At least a kinda bad one! :)

Dane said...

I hate being corrected but... Spiderman is from New York City. Superman is from Metropolis. I'm sorry for correcting. I love this site. I check it everyday.

Anonymous said...

bwahaha those are great

MeganB said...

Spiderman doesn't live in Metropolis. He couldn't even go visit there, because he's from the Marvel Universe and Metropolis (Superman) is the DC Universe. *cough cough i married a nerd and it's rubbing off on me cough cough*

Love your website!

Wolvie Girl said...

I laughed so hard at this post, but "BUM BUM BUUUUMMM" really cracked me up because clearly poor old Spidy Head doesn't have one, let alone three. That lovely mutation (three buttocks) is reserved for guys in obscure Monty Python skits.

Kat said...

ha ha ha...Love it!Super creative and so funny! How in the world did you find so many spidy-head cakes? Are there headless spidey bodies floating around? lol

Anonymous said...

Spiderman's disembodied head... has moved to Metropolis... his brother has turned monochromatic and gone mouldy... yeah, it all makes perfect wrecky sense.
But ants.
ANTS FFS!
They make my spidy senses tingle, and not in a nice way.
Use maggots, faeces, rats, anything but ants.

Emily said...

is Dr. Expector Ant the gut to call when you need to hack up a loogie for a CCC?

Anonymous said...

I really do love whenever you act out these little scenarios :D seriously, they just make me snerk all over the place with glee.

Scritzy said...

I really needed that laugh today. Genius, pure genius!

Kate said...

Love the Achmed reference!

BADKarma! said...

Actually, that second cake was pretty cool. I'm just sayin'...

The rest of them, however...

WV: Precew... "Isn't that prec... uh... Ewwwwww!"

Anonymous said...

same spider-head time, same spider-head place

Buffy said...

Favorite. Post. EVER!!!! The commentary reaches awesome-ness of epic proportions.

Craig said...

Max! Maximus! Max the Magnificent! Maxaroni!

The decorative uses of mold. Now there's a topic I would like to see remain buried forever (as that cookie apparently has been).

Are Spiderman heads now going to start turning up in random locations across all of wreck-creation?

"This cake design is just too understated and tasteful. It needs something... I know...! I'll put a Spiderman head right there! I can see it now: 'Happy Birthday, Amber, from My Little Pony -- and Spidey!'"

What princess-themed party would not be improved (and emptied) by the impromptu appearance of a disembodied super hero head. The possibilities are endless (or will no doubt seem so if this catches on).

By the way, could someone please create a giant 'Raid' cake? I see more than enough ants this time of year as it is -- this 'ants as wreckorations' kick really needs to stop. Now.

Arlene said...

Considering what happened to Spidey when Batman and Superman were on that last wreck I think he's having a much better time lol. Those wreckerators really know how to destroy superhero cakes.. honestly did someone bring one of these to them when they were kids? Then they decide to take vengence on the rest of us. Tragic that lol.

Gem said...

Ants on cakes makes me shudder slightly - just so so wrong!!

Aliza said...

This one is definitely a CW classic! Brilliant job stringing together disparate Spiderman-esque wrecks into a tale of humour and woe.

And John's note was the perfect finale :)

TB Tabby said...

The gray Spider-Man head looks like the Millennium Falcon.

Knit Wit said...

That last cake... Oh my. At first, I thought how terrible that the black coloring they used bled into the cake. Then I realized I wasn't giving the wreckerator enough credit.

Look closely at the unevenness of the "gray" icing. There are spots that are WHITE!!!

Could they have possibly decorated with white and then AIRBRUSHED the design with gray???? The mind boggles. Pure wrecky goodness!

Shanti said...

I wonder what Spidey did to make [Antman] so mad.....

Maybe Spidey tried to eat him? Insects are spiders' natural prey, after all...^_^

Loco Moco said...

I am NOT going to ask what they used for icing on that ginormous Spidey Head cookie. Spider bukkake is just too oojy to contemplate.

Katie said...

This commentary was fantastic! The cakes themselves were pretty wrecky (who thought a disembodied Spiderman Head was a good idea?), but your commentary really makes this post a classic.

Anonymous said...

That was the best Spidey Cartoon I've seen in a while! Awesome!

Anonymous said...

There are tears in my eyes from mirth. I think the first pic is my new desktop wallpaper. Thank you.

RedHead said...

I made the mistake of reading this at work, just before I had to take a phonecall. I think I convinced them that my gutteral snorts were just a bit of a cold. Amazing. Thankyou.

Anonymous said...

Ugk, the last cookie looks like the frosting was added to cover some hideous mould! D:

Haiku Joy said...

All of you out there
in RadioLand: Spidey
Needs You! Buy Head Cakes!