Thursday, April 15, 2010

Five Awesome Things

Thursday, April 15, 2010

[UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]


Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:

"You know that cake you posted today? It wasn't that bad! Sure it was misspelled, and the icing looked like someone had spread it on with their tongue, and there was that feces border and thumb print - oh, and the dead bug was kinda gross. But did you see that rose?! Gorgeous!"

Yeeeeah.

Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.

Ready?

*pulling up happy pants*

Here we GOOOO!

Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!


Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.


Uh...

Noisemakers!

I love noisemakers.

Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.


Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.

Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.


Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!

Oh, crap.

I mean, uh, oooo. Tough one.

Sure, there's a full load of things I could say here, but not many would be what you'd call "awesome." Hmm.

[thinking]

[thinking]

[despairing]

[back to thinking]

Ok, I think I got it:

You tell me.

That's right, tell me what's awesome about this Wreck in the comments. Why? Well, mostly for the glory. But also because you just might win Neil's book:

I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)

Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]

Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.

Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.

- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!

UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
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The Boob Nazi said...

I feel sick after looking at some of those.

melizza said...

Marble Slab! The cake is on a marble slab and they make fantastic ice cream. That, fortunately, looks nothing like that cake.

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

At least they finished off that icing that was about to expire!

Kathy said...

I'm not so sure I want to eat another cake...ever!

Sara Michelle said...

The icing is smooth and shiny! Must have been really easy to push out of the tube.....? Sincerely, Sara Michelle Weinman

desparatedeskclerk said...

The frosting is shiny.... shiny is good! - Lori S.

MollieRMS said...

Well, it was obviously put on while warm ... and it looks really shiny! Shiny is good! And warm icing never hurt anybody.

Tina B said...

It's so shiny! That's a good thing, right? Right!?

KJ said...

That's an "awesome" marble cutting board!!

Kelly

Lori said...

It's a chocolate covered bee hive!

Lori K
the Krew

~ifer said...

A raccoon would love that last cake... They are the animal that loves all things shiny, right?

QuiltyGoodness said...

Well, it looks like there is a lot of chocolate. I love chocolate, and lots of chocolate is Awesome.

The Caked Crusader said...

The marble board would look empty without it

EK said...

What a nice piece of marble tile! I bet it wasn't even on sale!

Michael said...

Hmmm, well... it's made with chocolate, I think, and my wife tells me that chocolate is awesome no matter what it looks like... I really hope it's chocolate.
(Michael from Lancaster, PA)

Taylor (it's a guy's name too!) said...

I still prefer a Feces-C to a CCC.

Michael said...

Hmmm, well... it's made with chocolate, I think, and my wife tells me that chocolate is awesome no matter what it looks like... I really hope it's chocolate.
(Michael from Lancaster, PA)

Valerie said...

What a shiny glaze on the last cake. You know, it's very difficult to produce this type of result.

Rachel said...

I don't mean to be anal or anything, but the uncovered spot at the bottom really chaps my....well, you know.
Rachel May

Kris said...

Awesome... that cake is awesomely shiny - and the marble cake board is pretty nice, too!

Anonymous said...

That marble slab is so clean! Wow it's really hard to keep the chocolate from oozing all over your plate/base. That took real skill.
Carol - looking on the bright side.

Laura said...

One word: chocolate. Nothing could be more awesome.

Julia Spencer said...

That last cake would be GREAT for my diet. Hey...That's a positive right?

epigirl said...

Wow, look! There on the side! It must be the door to a mouse house. Having your house be made of cake would be AWESOME!

Lady Bright said...

being able to make a cake for the 10th annual skat lovers convention & getting it perfect is awesome!

-Liberty

Janis Luzzo said...

Chocolate is always awesome

Emily J said...

It's so SHINY!

Christine LeClair said...

Look... It's Shinny!

Just a Generous Thief said...

This entry reminds me when my brother's fiance' tried to make cupcakes and they looked alot like that last image there...delicious tho!

Flavia A-N

meghan said...

Well, it's just so very shiny. If only they had polished the marble to match...

Beccy said...

It must have been free, and free is AWESOME!

Eleri C said...

You know what's awesome about that cake? It's chocolate. Mmm.
- Eleri C

Becky said...

What I really admire about this cake is that, tempted though the baker may have been to just stop, put her feet up, and, er, take a load off after dumping icing over the top, they instead actually took the time to smooth it out in places and arranged it with lighting to give it a special "glistening" effect. A for effort.

Ben Williams said...

Wow, the corn cake really works quickly, that's awesome!

Grammy said...

it looks fresh, moist with a nice gloss!when you live in South America that is a good thing to look for ...(and no worms)

Mary Elliott said...

whoever "made" this sure has great balance!! Not a plop out of place...

Amy in Nashville said...

I love the Matterhorn, at Disney, and this cake is awesome because it is a chocolate replica of the Matterhorn, with a little door for the mouse that runs the ride. Awesome.

LisaSlater said...

That's the shiniest pooh I ever done seen!

Mary said...

That cake has the most awesome rich chocolate shiny icing eveh!
Mary Vogel

Lynnette said...

The assymetry! The sheen! And, really, nothing says "awesome" quite like assymetrical sheen. Awesome! (My name is Lynnette. Or you can refer to me as Cherish These Days, my blog title.)

Gina said...

It's shiny! That's awesome, right?

Eileen Swiercz said...

"Bring me the semi-melted head of the nazi from Indiana Jones on a marble slab!"

Torie said...

See how nicely the dog kept his business on the marble tile? I mean, that's one well-trained pooch!
Torie P.

Lauren Borquez said...

Without a doubt the most UGLY looking stuff I've seen in a loooong time! Yuck lol

Donna said...

It shines in the light! Shiny things attract idiots and an idiot will eat the cake and it'll be gone. That's pretty awesome...
Donna D. Brown

Lorrie Munson said...

Today I sit at my computer trying to be happy but I have dragon scales (Shingles). I have replaced every crumby thought with a sweet thought. Seeing the noise makers made me realize how successful I have been (Oh pooh). Thanks for your website. I need it today. Lorrie the porcupine

ashleyruthless said...

They way that icing glistens where it catches the light...so AWESOME!

TheHappyHomemaker said...

I think it is awesome that there is a little cave door into the chocolatey goodness...and a slight hint there may also bee honey in there. Totally awesome!

Jan Bost

ashleyruthless said...

The way that icing glistens in the light is simply awesome!

hoolooovoo said...

Why would you mock such a touching tribute to the mud-pies of childhood? Needs some gummy worms though.

Molly B. said...

Chocolate! Chocolate is super awesome!

Molly B.

Tammy Jo said...

...do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are a chocolate bunny, and may end up like this...

Dillypoo said...

That chocolate cake is craptastic!

Kerry W. said...

It looks just like a chocolate dipped ice cream cone from Dairy Queen!

Well, once it has melted at least...

Karyn said...

The icing is so shiny! And smooth! And, uh, did I already mention shiny?

My word verification is "colywarl" which makes me think of a nice shiny colon. Shiny is good!

Karyn

Bakingdom said...

Isn't that a great piece of marble it's sitting on??? Combine it with the knife from #5, then cutting the cheese just got even more AWESOME! I mean, that marble makes the cake come in #2 in the photo!

Kaity said...

[pondering....] um... it would be an excellent educational tool to teach kids... why to watch what they eat... (YAeh!)

motherbynature said...

The marble slab is so nice and square. And the base of the cake is so nice and round. Shapes are always awesome. And, um, the upper portion of the cake is so nice and... lumpy... Lumpy is always... is... damn, I give up.

Me said...

Well let's see... it looks like a collapsed beehive that someone just PLOPPED on there, and bees ARE awesome, in their own way. Kinda. And marble is awesome. And... oh, poo - that's all I can come up with.

Skye said...

The top looks like it might still be warm. Warm melty chocolate? awesome

D'Lyn said...

I WAS about to eat breakfast. Now I think I'll just wait till lunch

www.princessdlyn.blogspot.com

Jael said...

Chocolate frosting / Glazy, melty, tasty, warm / Into my gullet.

Tricia said...

"My, goodness, how ... shiny. Why, I can see myself in the reflection."

Tricia Lee

Anonymous said...

Okay, so Bob the Blob finds himself near inertia, having been shoved into a darkened cooler and set upon a fuh-reeezing piece of marble.

Never one to despair, the awesomeness that is Bob the Blob finds himself inching.ever.closer.to.the.too-cute-for-words custard in front of him every time someone opens the door to the cooler.

The real dilemma,for His Awesomeness, is that the custard stands a better chance of escaping this fresh Hades than he has.

Alas, as the screen fades to black we see our hero shoved farther and farther back on the shelf. Everyone who enters muttering, "There's no way I'm touching that thing."

The End

CJ Anderson

Mrs Garrett said...

The fact that it's so shiny means it will easily distract, say, a charging 3 year old! Or a charging bear! Or a charging former president! So really, it can help you defend yourself in the wild.

-Mrs. Garrett

di said...

The icing is so smooth and shiny it makes me want to shout "ca-ca doodly do-do"!!!! Awesome!!!

....di in la la land!

Anne said...

It's so gorgeously shiny! And they so clevely left a section of the cake for people that don't like frosting!

~Anne the librarian

Gary said...

OK, here goes:

Uh ... that cake is awesome because ... it looks like it came out of the back end of an elephant. And elephants are awesome! Man, I love elephants, don't you?

Also, it's probably the shiniest poo you'll see all day. And shiny things are awe... uh, kind of nice (especially if you're a magpie).

kristine said...

I should have worn Depends today because my awesome clean colon is spasming with laughter. LMFAO!! Too freakin' funny> I am amazed that people will actually be proud? of those "creations". Someone needs a slap...a positive one..LOL

Viiriäinen said...

Oh come on, this is too easy. I've never made a coating that glossy in my life. Glossy is AWESOME.

Lori said...

The last cake, and I use the term "cake" loosely, looks like the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter. And Harry Potter is awesome. In all seriousness, is there really anything better than ganache? No, I didn't think so. - Lori Lee

Anonymous said...

I think it's awesome that they are letting the horses roam the halls of the palace these days. So much better than the dirty barn.

Steve Nutella Man

Lisa Karon Richardson said...

Just looking at that cake makes it easier to stick to my diet. And that is AWESOME!

learp17 said...

The only thing even remotely awesome about the last wreck is the marble board. I want one of those!

A shiny poop cake? Not so much.

Heather Leigh said...

What a beautiful piece of marble!! As soon as I've thrown the cake in the toile-- I mean trash, it will make a beautiful stepping stone in my garden!

Jill said...

I love how there's a little hole at the bottom of the beehive for the bees to get in and out of. That's very important in the honey making process. How awesome of the decorator to pay such close attention to detail. JILL READING

motherbynature said...

Just realized after seeing my above comment that my google account identity doesn't give my name... it's Heather. Too boring? Um, Heather the Buzzard. Yeah, that is actually my nickname. Don't ask.

michelle said...

Love that beautiful board it's sitting on. Also, the icing is so shiny
oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiny....

A Girl In Her Kitchen said...

It comes with a surprise hidden underneath all that glossy chocolate. Correctly guess what is piled on top and you win!

http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

ironbunny said...

What's awesome is I imagine it doesn't smell like it looks!

Mary said...

The baker left a hole in the icing so we could see the cake is chocolate, and made the icing SHINY so the light could gracefully bounce off of it, blinding us to the lack of symmetry in the whole thing. Then the baker artfully mounted the cake on a beautiful marble slab with accents that draw our eyes away from the cake. Wow!

Mary Craig

Rebecca M. said...

Whats awesome about that last cake? Chocolate ganache. Chocolate ganache is awesome.

okorolev said...

at least the icing has a nice sheen to it. someone knows how to temper chocolate. -olga korolev

Courtneyjoy said...

It's so SHINY!

Olivia said...

The awesome part about this cake is anything to do with feces make my husband laugh. Olivia Lefort

Lesley said...

The surprise factor of course, who knows what you will find under that shiny chocolate...
I tried to imagine what could have such shape, but I really don't know.

kerowynsmom said...

What a lovely marble base!

krista said...

Krista D

Not wanting to be left out, the dog wanted to contribute something to the birthday party. Good dog.

AmberRenee said...

The cake has a lovely gloss to it. it reflects the light beautifully in the photo.

LadyWild said...

Well, it looks like an almost well shaped beehive that maybe wanted to be a volcano. Its nice.

Nikki from Memphis said...

Look! It's a beehive made of chocolate! And with the crisis we're having with bees, chocolate hives might be just the thing to cure it!

Yeah....

Jeff said...

I can see the Virgin Mary in it!
Jeff Huong

Trulina Darisa said...

Lovely cutting board. I mean who doesn't want a marble cutting board that is so sturdy it can hold an entire pile of... well... er... cake. Sturdy cutting boards are AWESOME!

Michelle said...

The display case arrangers (because it is too well done for it to have been the wreckerator) were smart enough to put a cheesecake in the front of the display that is almost pretty enough to distract from the poo pile!

Trulina Darisa said...

Lovely cutting board. I mean who doesn't want a marble cutting board that is so sturdy it can hold an entire pile of... well... er... cake. Sturdy cutting boards are AWESOME!

Cacodaemonia said...

"You tell me..."

Well, there is clearly a lovely little Hobbit hole in the cake! It must be Lord of the Rings themed. ;)

Cindy said...

Ahhhh The Flow! Don't we all want some nice smooth shiny flow in the morning - There is really nothing more you can ask for!
(and what if you have a really common first name - like Cindy, but your last name is out of control crazy like Anderson?)

Sylvie said...

The best part of the last cake is that the oddly shiny icing does at least cover up the horror that lies beneath it.

Gina S said...

Ummmm yeah sorry, i got nuthin!

stellablue said...

I like how the cake decorator wasn't deterred from attempting to make this look like a cupcake. Just because you have a flat 9 inch wide by 1.5 inch tall cake is no reason not to go ahead and add 7 inches of icing on top.

I can hear it now, "What? Why won't this icing pour out and settle like it does on a cupcake? Oh well, we're going for height not perfection."

Awesome.

Jenamarie said...

This birthday cake is every proctologist's dream! Right up there with "assman" license plates.

Jenamarie (wife of George)

TechyDad said...

I'll bet that the decorator felt awesome after pushing that one out... I mean after dumping the icing onto... I mean I bet he felt awesome when he was rid of it!

Veronica C. said...

I have a couple "Awesome" things about the last photo.

1. Look how they artfully placed that poo, I mean cake on that marble slab...marble slabs improve everything, because they're...yep awesome.

2. The glistening of the "icing" is just so picture perfect...right? No...dang, though I was on to something...

sharalyns said...

I love the marble that is resting on. Oh, and bonus--you can turn it upside down in a fondue pot, and melted chocolate is yummy!

Mike Owens said...

Just look at the almost-perfectly sized mouse hole. How awesome is a cake with a mouse living under it? And what is even more awesome? That mouse has marble floors. How many of us can say we have marble floors? A mouse living in a cake and having marble floors is awesome.

hokgardner said...

They did a great job of getting the icing nice and shiny.

Yeah.

Tara said...

Look at that! Shiny frosting! You know how hard it is to get shiny frosting! Awesome! ;)

Ax said...

The marble slab is stylish and awesome. And the cake looks like a Japanese good luck charm. Good luck is awesome!

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/images/photos2007/ek20070320wha.jpg

Melissa said...

I bet that the person who made that last cake feels a LOT better now that that's done. Think of the RELIEF that person must feel now!

Sincerely,
Melissa Saunders

P.S. And if somebody else said that first, I didn't copy them. I just didn't read the other comments before posting.

LStew said...

it's shiny poop and who isn't attracted to shiny things?

plus you can give a second go at your corn and nuts. eep, a second go at your nuts..ummm...

-Dr. Princess L'aura Vander Van De Stewartsmastra

Frannie, AKA Q's Maid said...

Parade Cake! I mean, I see these on the street at parades all the time. Who doesn't love parades? Awesome!

Karen P said...

It looks super chocolately and chocolate is the breakfast of champions.

Anonymous said...

Wow. When I see that I think "Someone can now fit into their pants comfortably again - and they are proud enough to display it!"
-Rhynwa

Tracy O said...

Look - it's the entrance to the Batcave! Awesome!
TracyO (tracybakes.com)

Georgeanna said...

Unlike inferior materials such as cardboard cake bases, cheap plastic platters, or even cheap, aluminum, ready-to-rust pizza pans, this cake is laid on a foundation of marble. Solid rock my friends. Why, they call this the "Peter" cake. Peter was well known as being "the rock", though what you may not know is he was also famed for his shiny posterior (due to all the wiping! Sanitation!.... of course!)

And in his honor, we hereby use marble - strait from the quarries of South Korea - for our cake platters. Because nothing says "cleanup is easy!" - I mean "we're serious about our cakes" - quite like marble. And marble is AWESOME!

(Georgeanna from South Korea)

Vanessa said...

What a GLOSSY chocolate cake! They really got some height with that frosting, and just LOOK at how straight the sides of the bottom cake are! And the artful presentation on such elegant marble...I'm sure this is an exceptionally aromatic dessert piled high with antioxidant, mouth-watering goodness that is hard to resist!

--Vanessa Martin

(WV = ident...ident tink dey vill buy my steaming load of...)

T said...

Isn't it awesome how the icing is so evenly run across the top (because I do believe it is run inducing) to hide what was first plopped there? Very considerate of that baker IMO

Black Hills Toni (because my last name is too generic as well)

Sarah said...

well, it looks like there *might* be a ..."normal".. cake down there in the bottom left corner? so really, that is awesome - the baker decided a photo of poo cake was more important than of a "normal" cake.

Allyson said...

It's so shiny! Who doesn't like shiny pile of...uh...yeah!

It glistens. 'Nuff said.

-Allyson in UT

Summersfam said...

Marble slabs are awesome! (yes, very uncreative and un-funny. I'm counting on the random win!

Karen Summers

Glen & Miriam said...

Well I am not a decorator of any sorts but at least the last cake makes me feel better about my latest creation...and good feelings are AWESOME!

-Miriam S. (baker of delicious yet not so appealing to the eye things)

Sandy said...

WOW! That was Awesome!

That cake was a "unique" interpretation of a beehive and beehives are Awesome because without bees there will be no honey and Honey is sweeeeeet!

Thanks Jen, The book sounds cool, can't wait to read it!

~Sandy S., Utah

Lindsey said...

It's so shiny---shiny is awesome! What do I have to eat to get shiny poop like that? - Lindsey I-Want-Shiny-Poop

Marie said...

These cakes all have several awesome things about them.

First, they make MY cake decorating efforts look FABULOUS!(And that alone takes skill, and makes them awesome).

Second, they provide much needed jobs to employees, who (lets face it) probably can't work anywhere else.

Third, they give Jen so @#$%^ much to work with, in her ongoing quest to make me snort milk out of my nose EVERY DAY.


IT JUST DOESN'T GET MORE AWESOME THAN THAT.

The Laundry Queen said...

Lately, I have been looking at birthday cake ideas online with my almost 5 year old, trying to choose what we should make for his birthday that's coming up in a few weeks. He just happened to walk up when I was reading this post and, after seeing the cakes pictured, said rather nervously, "I don't want any of those." Then, more firmly as he walked away, "I don't want any of those!"

The fact that my son thought that I was looking at those cakes for consideration makes me laugh. Poor kid will probably be worried until his birthday.

Erin said...

The "decorator" obviously finished this one in a hurry so he could get to his kid's barmitzfa, and barmitzfas are totally awesome.

1Kathleen said...

That cake is a real stinker...I mean SINKER and sinkers are AWESOME they are full of fiber and part of a healthy diet.

Granny B said...

See. . . I told you eating fiber would work

mamabearstamps said...

OOOOOhhh, SHINY!! That's awesome! Tammy Moore

Lorry said...

I feel the need to point out that the "scarecrow" thing is not a cake. It's a Danish pastry. My in-laws got one that looks eerily similar for my daughter's first birthday, though it says "1 år" instead of "5 år."

I'm not defending it. Just clarifying. :P Maybe Danes think it looks good, but I'm still American, even if my husband isn't.

Izzybee said...

I'm painfully unfunny (thanks for the reminder John-the-hubby-of-Jen) but I dod have to say that I'd love a marble cutting board like the one that last glorious cake is sitting on. And that's as positive as I get, folks!

Mo said...

It's quite shiny, and shiny makes me think of money and since today is Tax Day we could all use a little more "awesome" shiny money.

Sorry, just couldn't resist.

whynotsmile said...

What's not to like about a cake with a mousehole? Oh...

DebG said...

It's a chocolate haystack
any cow would attack.
What? Already been here?
Then it's just waste, I fear.

Dawn said...

The contract between the chocolate and the white marble, well ist just AWESOME!

Diana said...

What is awesome about this cake is it's zen...it reminds us that when we try to fill up our lives with meaningless debris, we feel heavy and weighted down (bloated and gassy even, by our material desires). It is only by sitting quietly and meditating on nothing (occassionaly aided by an out-of-date car magazine) that we can unload this extra baggage. Then, purged of our heavy load, we can feel that the empty void we now feel within is not to be rejected but to be accepted as is brings us closer to our spiritual one-ness with the nothingness of the universe. ohm.....

Jen5253 said...

It's a shiny cake made of chocolate.... I hope. And the marble cutting board is very pretty. The bottom layer looks like it is nice and round. And... yeah. That's all I've got. Thanks for the laugh! Jen Range

Mandy said...

Marble cutting board - awesome; it really suits the elegance of the cake!
Mandy O.

Margaret Stabler said...

Well, it appears to be chocolate and it is on marble and, and.....


Nanny from Georgia

Dana said...

That icing looks really thick and fudgy, and you can barely notice the spot they missed!!

Receptionist Row said...

Shiny!!! Really shiny! I like shiny things, they are fun...to...stare....at. Okay, okay not for too long. But shiny is AWESOME!!! Especially when you are high (on life!)

Rowena

Heidi B said...

Like vampires (apparently), this cake glitters in the sunlight!

judi said...

It's so, um... SHINY! Yeah.. Perfect for distracting you from the large, lumpish form on top and asking too many questions. Being distracted from learning something potentially stomach-turning? AWESOME!

-Judi B.

Anonymous said...

Roxie 312

At least there's no stuffed animal or misspelled word on it to detract from the shininess.

Beth said...

It's shiny! And uh..shiny things are pretty! Like mirrors and gold!

Bethany J.

Anonymous said...

Jeccaess

You see that little hole at the bottom? That wreckerator is actually pulling off an "Extreme Burrow Makeover" for some lucky little mouse family. Providing housing for vermin = AWESOME.

Robert Williams said...

The Fable of One Poor Brown Cake
by Robert Williams

Papa Dung Beetle: Look kids! We've stumbled upon the mythical Taj Manure. No more puttering around the planet pushing other people's poop around. It's our very own Manure Manor, our Poo Palace, our Feces Fortress! Let's move into this magnificent meadow muffin right now!

Little Dung Beetle Children: AWESOME!

Pap Dung Beetle: Oh crap, this isn't genuine gauno, it's just a cleverly concealed, counterfeit cake!

Little Dung Beetle Children: Oh poo!

Moral of the Story: Alliteration is AWESOME!

Anonymous said...

Wow! What a shiny frosting job!

marisaclock said...

The fudge on that cake looked absolutely delicious... gooey and chocolatey are both good things in fudge... which is how I plan to think of that... em... "fudge" pile!

Ms. F said...

Choccccooollllaaattte.

Chocolate is always awesome, no matter how "crappy" it looks!

-Mallory

Rev. Allyson said...

It is so awesome that there is a cake out there which I can SAFELY leave on the counter, and not worry about my four year old twins getting into. Life is good! Oh, and it's chocolate, as pointed out by others. Chocolate is good regardless of how swirly and ... well, anyhow...

daydreamwanderer said...

It's awesome because after you finish cover the hive in poo, the bees can't get out to sting you...

Not being stung by poo covered bees: Awesome!

and my name is Lisa B-soon-to-be-H (and I think my fiance would really enjoy that book) :)

Anonymous said...

It would make a great advertisement for Fiber One!!

Mandy West
mandywest98@yahoo.com

Creatorschilde said...

The skill it takes to attempt such a wonderful representation of the rocky mountians out of icing - particularly with that thin sheen of ice over them - Obviously a refrence to global warming... All the glaciers after all *are* melting away. This cake was obviously meant to be a Cautionary Tale...
If you dont pay attention to the gasses you are leaking....

Nicole - the Empress of Evil

Renaissance Girl said...

It is gloriously shiny, has lifelike organic curves, and that little bit of cake peeking out unfrosted from that mantle of...chocolate...is absolutely seductive.


...o_O.

Cammy said...

Ooh, look! There's a mirror on the wall behind it, so you can see part of the cake's backside! And the whole creatively lumpy "cake" also brings to mind a backside. And without a backside, I would never be able to sit down to read Cake Wrecks. And Cake Wrecks is AWESOME!

DebG said...

It's a chocolate haystack
any cow would attack.
What? Already been here?
Then it's just waste, I fear.

Patty said...

There's nothing more awesome than a shiny chocolate cake! Patty Breh

Jamie said...

Hmm, I'm going with the stove top it's sitting on looks shiny and clean, and for me that tends to be the last thing that gets cleaned in my kitchen. So it says a clean kitchen, and a clean kitchen is AWESOME!

There's really not a lot to go on, even the marble has something red smeared along the front of it.

Damon D'Amore said...

It's near a mirror!

Mirrors let you see if you have something in your teeth!

Making sure your teeth are clean is AWESOME!

Kirstin said...

Another plus: If I was able to produce such a large...cakey deposit...it would mean I lost 10 pounds in no time flat! Awesome!
~Kirstin B

Hannah Edwards said...

The perfect cake for Diarrhea Sufferers Anonymous. Shiny piles of poo are no longer socially unacceptable! No longer! Say it loud, say it proud.

Kristi Robison (a.k.a., rascalmom) said...

My positive comment on cake number five:
Clearly, some elephant has a wonderfully healthy colon!

Shadow Rider said...

Well, it's right next to a custard tart, I love custard tarts.

Susan M from Finnegan's Pawprint

theferrisoneofall said...

The photographer did an awesome job of taking the picture! If you look in the background there was a reflection of the cake. So, they blessed us by cutting the reflection out of the pic. Because looking at that dinosaur BM would NOT be awesome twice, especially all at once!!

drunyon said...

Well, marble was always my favorite rock.

-David R.

Nborogirl said...

Passing by this "cake", you can't help notice the beautiful marble slab. And you all know passing marble(s) is better than passing um... bricks!

Peter Thomas said...

The sculpter of our final piece is an absolute genius. Truly, how could any compare? The smooth swirl of the top, signifying the spunky, childlike play of the creator, balanced just so on the more stable, conformist cylinder of the bottom. It positively sings to the conflict that lies within every person, that of whether to become normal and steady, or to release the wild interior. The gleam of the finish is like a reflection of the soul, revealing to us what only—

Wait. This ISN'T modern art?

Johno said...

What cake with a mousehole WOULDN'T be awesome? Just think what you could hide in there! Tiny presents! Or diamonds! Or even more "AWESOME" cakes!

Erin D said...

The cake in the very lower left hand corner of the picture looks like it may be yummy! Yes! Let's give THAT cake some love!

Cheryl said...

Ooooh, shiny!

Mari said...

It looks like its made out of chocolate and, yeah, chocolate normally tastes pretty good even if its melted and falling off. Mari

Jason Beaird said...

It's modern art! There even appears to be a ventilation system behind this piece which allows people to admire it from up close.

Gina said...

There's actually a few things to like about that cake.

1) I totally covet the marble slab it's on. I've been looking for one for a while, and it looks to be a nice size and thickness.

2) SHINY! Who doesn't love shiny things? I wish my hair were that shiny.

3) The frosting(?) is the exact color of my husbands eyes. Which makes me think of him. Which is great, because I love him and think he's awesome. And the cake prompting me to think of awesome things makes it awesome by association, right?

Ellen said...

It appears someone tried to make a "drip sandcastle" out of cake, then covered it in a shiny chocolate icing. A unique artistic statement, for sure.

Anonymous said...

You can brush your teeth in the reflection on the cake! and clean teeth are important.
-kate C.

Julia said...

It's covered in chocolate, and anything covered in chocolate has potential for delicious-ness.

Kara said...

The icing looks like ganash (sp) and that stuff is always good. and its shiny.. most people like shiny things! Karalea Anderson

Jessica said...

Well, there are two pretty awesome things about that last. First is the beautiful marble board it is sitting on. I'd love to have one of those, but I'm guessing it's pretty heavy, and I wouldn't want to carry it up three flights of stairs.

The second awesome thing about that cake is the little hole down at the base; it's the same shape as a cave my sister and I used to play in when we were small. So, yeah, pretty awesome!

Ms. Green said...

You know what they say, you can shine a turd, but it is still a turd.

Ms. Green said...

You know what they say, you can shine a turd, but it is still a turd.

Bob said...

I have a pile of good things to say. Shouldn't even after to strain. Would you like be to start with #2?

Chantelle said...

Just look how perfectly the yummy, YUMMY chocolate reflects the light! You can take this into a deep, dark cave with you and it'll reflect the tiniest spark of light for miles so you won't get lost or eaten by the big scary dinosaur! GIVE ME 2!!

Anna said...

Hey! There is a mirror behind that meadow muffin!

360 view of that bad boy? Awesome.

-Anna Kristine

T said...

Whoever said it's a waste of time to polish a turd never saw this AWESOME creation!

Kristina said...

"It" is covered in chocolate, and chocolate is always AWESOME!
Kristina Whetzel
www.kyaniteacres.com

Mark Forsman said...

This is an amazing cake. It speaks deeply to the human soul. It's understandable that people just aren't going to get it.

It tells the tale of Pedro the cake maker. In his homeland Pedro was only allowed to make 1 kind of cake (vanilla with a basic white buttercream frosting.)

Pedro longed for the day when he could express himself through his cakes. No longer able to tolerate the boring white cakes he was forced to make day in and day out. Pedro rebelled and began creating cakes in a fury of creativity, Red Velvet, Carrot, even the forbidden CHOCOLATE! Pedro was jailed for his crimes of creativity.

Although imprisoned Pedro used what materials he had on hand to continue to make forbidden cakes. As he was awaiting his execution Pedro made this cake in the pitch black confines of his deathrow holding cell.

After his execution had been carried out the Overlord of the country saw this cake in the cell. So touched at the spirit of Pedro and his passion for cakes, the Overlord shed a single tear and declared that all cake makers would be allowed to make whatever cakes they wish.

This cake was preserved so that all might remember the sacrifice of Pedro and his incredible passion.

paudream said...

Come on, can't you recognize class when you see it?

It's over MARBLE. And Marble IS classy.

Also the brown 2hing looks so shiny and tasty. And chocolatey. An if you look really close you can see that some of the filling is pouring on the bottom (he he) right side, and it also looks tasty.

Greetings from Argentina!

Paula

susanne.lantos said...

Hey, that last cake will look so good when cut up and I'm sure it's gonna taste amazing cause it's smothered in chocolate, and I don't even have to worry about wrecking the design! That's AWESOME.

-Sue from Canada who really wants a book like that one to cheer her up because she's getting laid off in September and not sure she can even stand to work here that long...

KristiP said...

Are you kidding? That last cake is awesome! It's a diet cake-it helps you stay on your diet because you can't actually bring yourself to try it. What could be better than a diet-promoting cake?

Anonymous said...

I've got it, it's brown! And brown reminds people of dirt, and without dirt, nothing would grow, right? So...awesome?
Yeah, I dunno. Something like that.
--Ruthie the Random

redrall said...

Okay, by the time I type this in, someone else may have pointed it out already, but there's a small HTML error in the link to Amazon. Looks like it should be easy to fix, but I thought you'd want to know about it.

As for the last cake, I got nothin'. Also got a particularly boring WV: qrfur. "This cake is the qrfur all ills! Honest!" Well, it's something.

Lynn J from Ontario said...

I think it's totally awesome that they are letting 3 year olds decorate cakes! What an awesome way to tap into an under-used labour force.

Karen10ason said...

Shiny, chocolate and reminds me of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It makes me feel like I'm in Junior High.

emily said...

The phrase "it's so pretty I can't even eat it" will not be heard about hit cake allowing everyone to enjoy the taste without worrying about destroying someone's masterpiece.

byumomof4 said...

Like my great-grandfather used to say,

creating a pile big enough to use as a fencepost is...
AWESOME!!!

Natalia de Herring said...

OK i think that many have already noticed that fantastic Marble Slab!!! I want one just like it. And then there's the chocolate (it is chocolate, right?) You can't go wrong with chocolate....

Holly said...

wow. painfully unfunny seems to describe me perfectly.

anyway, that heaping pile of poo reminded me of that night i gave my dog a steak bone. things were runny like that icing THAT night too. and approximately the same color.

though, did you notice the little opening in the icing at the bottom? Going off of the assumption that this is a "bee hive" they were very realistic in providing the bees a place to enter...? AWESOME :)

Batman's Mom said...

Hide and go seek is awesome and that is obviously a child hiding under the chocolate on that cake in turn making that cake awesome.

c3 said...

Wow. Love that last one! It's so SHINY!

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