[*And by "professional" we mean "have access to - and no fear of using - a thesaurus."]
It seems obvious that the Loch Ness Monster would receive a beautifully constructed cakey fanfare after her famous reported sighting back in 1933:
However, photographers rarely catch old Nessie in what would later be described as her "Can-of-Beans Pose," in which Nessie approaches the surface with an open mouth and an old-timey telephone cord protruding from her head. Very rare, this shot. Very rare.
Lesli W., Anony M., & Brandi M., you guys are great, significant, exceptional, extraordinary, humongous, ample, notable, redoubtable, dominant, imposing, majestic, splendid, killer, hunky-dory, and swell.
- Related Wreckage: World's Worst Pictionary Players
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It kind of looks like what I imagine the devil's guitar to look like. Not that I've imagine that, but I just thought about it.
didn't catch the bass. funny
Oh! A pencil! Never would have guessed that....
That first one brings to mind the pictograms used for the "100 Worst Guitar Solos Of All Time" list compiled by Guitar Player mag in Dec. 2008. This cake seems to fit right in there.
I would have never figured out that was supposed to be a bass if you didn't fill me in! I prefer the Nessie interpretation LOL
Thanks for the explanation -- I'd have never guessed the pencil or the bass!! -- Julie
Okay, I understood the guitar, but loved the Haley's Comet explanation more. I thought the pencil was an acorn...but what's it holding? A thermometer, a hypodermic needle, half a sharpie? I just don't get it. I thought the bass was a shackle on some kind of telephone-cordish leash...
Makes me want pie.
I am laughing so hard. Funny!
(ps thanks for the identification on the bass)
I think that first one may be Epcot on fire being hurled through space! (wink, wink - evil grin)
WV: urgliss - Those are some of the urgliss cakes I've ever seen!
And I thought the pencil was just a face with a Simpsonian skin tone and a goatee, probably to represent the cake's recipient. Of course, with the little arms added, the goatee looked more pubic....
I'm glad you put the explanation at the bottom because you KNOW that some smarty-pants know-it-all is going to come on here and say "Tsk! Duh! Don't you KNOW that's supposed to be a guitar and a pencil and a wide-mouth bass? Might want to fix your post. I'm smarter than you."
As for the pencil, I thought it was a poorly done Spongebob!
Okay, I see the guitar and the pencil...but I totally would not have known that was a bass! Yikes!
Okay, the guitar and the pencil were identifiable despite the wreckiness. I assume that is a Graduation Pencil with a mortarboard and diploma? But the bass...NO idea. Was thinking some sort of monster from the lagoon!
I like how the pencil appears to be holding a pen. Wha???
It looks like the "Wide mouth bass" has an umbilical cord coming out of it's head.
I think you mean large-mouthed bass.
You guys are featured in the Manchester Guardian today!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2010/apr/13/wedding-catering-food-nightmares
I had to click on the pencil to see it larger. At first I thought the diploma it is holding was a knife jammed into the cake, and since the cover was still on that would make it part of the design...
Did anyone else think the first cake may have been celebrating the burning pain of an STD?
Thanks for id'ing the bass. I thought it was some sort of cookie monster-gone-bad cake.
I'm glad the commenters pointed out that the pencil (which I also first thought was a badly done Spongebob) is holding a diploma…. My first thought was, “Why is the pencil holding a writing utensil?”
The bass….. um… ya, never would have guess. Srsly! Why does it have teeth on the OUTSIDE of it’s mouth?? Or is it wearing one of those awesome dog-collar chokers?
I (sorta) see the guitar and the pencil... but has that 3rd decorator ever actually SEEN a largmouth bass?!
I did not get any of those right! Wow. The first one looks like a... (To risk an Epocot, although no one said it yet unless unmoderated) a... rather fiery stylistic man part or a substitute thereof.
Name Withheld to protect the gutterbrained
the graduation cheese makes me think of the "I'm only a bill" song from School House Rocks
That's a pencil??! I totally thought that was spongebob all grown up with a goatee! Really!
enlightening post Number1! I perceive you have a proclivity for the grand eloquent...
haha. I didn't catch the pencil or the bass. Thank you Jen. We'd be lost without you.
Gosh, it's good that I come to Cake Wrecks every day, because I learn valuable information about the world around us. Thanks to that first picture, I now know that Haley's Comet is really a flaming poo ball! Now I'll be ready in 2061.
Thanks Jen! :)
I want your thesaurus. It will make my life seem better, improved, ameliorated, more gooder...(see? I need it!)
So instead of a telephone cord as Nessie's hair accessory, it's a string of fish poo trailing behind???
No mortar board? No problem! Just stick a square of black plastic on top of a plastic TOP HAT.... there you go.
Nah, no one will notice. Just wondering, though--what is it, exactly, that a "pencil" (with brown lead & eraser--really?) graduates FROM?
The guitar accomplishes one very odd thing for me: reminding me of the fiery, searing, red-hot pain in the gut of advanced labor. Only because it looks strangely like a human pelvis. To me.
Just leave me alone.
=^e.e^=
A pencil? Wow, I was way off. I thought it was a constipated "Spongebob".
I'm not so sure about the bass, I still question the validity of that one.
Tree Stump of the Apocolypse!!
I think the guitar looks alot like a pin I got from the Phoenix Hard Rock Cafe a number of years ago.
Also, is it a CCC? I am so glad I am no longer a "professional" cake decorator for a grocery store... I just could not abide by those cupcake thingies...
Yikes!
Can you guys do anything about the scrolling adds for cookbooks on the left hand side of the screen. It's so distracting and annoying that it makes it hard to read your hilarious posts.
Love this blog!!! :)
Hey Becky,
Yup. That one was bugging me too.
Bah Bye.
john (the idiot who put it up in the first place)
I wish I could see the cake that's beside the blue thing (on the right side of the photo). I see part of a ruler, and something that resembles a giant, pointy pencil lead...
Ohhh... I get it.
It's almost time for school to be out!
So, OF COURSE every business establishment has to start the Back To School merchandising campaign. (!!!)
=^!!^=
====================================================
Ah, a PENCIL! I thought it was a really bad attempt at Spongebob!
But isn't the pencil holding a pen?!? Sooooo confusing!!!
The guitar and the pencil I got. The bass, though, not so much. I have faith in your research though, so I'm trusting your judgment.
I immediately thought of Schoolhouse Rocks for the pencil, too.
**Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese**
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Thank you so very much for that! Made my whole day!
As a teacher, I knew the "pencil" (and the quotes are warranted here) right away, having seen some of the worst pencil-themed gee-gaws at teacher supply stores. I knew the guitar right away . . . well, because I'm rad, OK?
But the bass? No way. I thought perhaps Kermit the Frog's head had exploded.
My first thought upon seeing the bass cake was, "Release the Kraken!"
I don't understand why the "guitar" has random cupcakes in the corners. The pencil looks like it is holding a straight razor and is about to shave off its goatee.
I saw a match on fire in the first "cake".
And Marcie, I can imagine you are not well liked at your job....
Would NEVER have figured out the bass cake. Thanks for putting me out of my misery. Great cakes from true "PERFEZIUNALS".
I agree with Rebecca F. The first cake appears to be a striking match.
Hmmm...that last cake looks quite a bit like a certain outdated internet meme...Y'know, the kind that 4Chan thought was hilarious when it first came out but has since been so overused that it can't even be used in an ironic way?
(sound of knocking)
"Um, good afternoon. I'm from the ASPCF. We've had a report of a shacked wide mouth bass imprisioned in a spike collar. I'm afraid I'm going to have to inspect these premises."
(pause)
"Wot's this then! Are you trying to bribe me with cake, Madam?!"
"Well...... All right."
--------------------
WV: ( in Groucho voice) redak--"These are the most redakulous cakes I've ever seen!"
Terrell
#1 -- all for the early return of Haley's Comet. Rock on!
#2 -- gotta love those pencil-neck geeks. (but lose the foodcatcher/goattee)
#3 Huh. I thought it was an irked Oregon fisherman's interpretation of the invading Humbolt squids eating his trap lines.
WV: creworn -- expression after finding more eaten out nets
"Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese" ranks right up there as one of my favorite Jenisms, right behind "Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockeys" and "A mini hotdog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"
Was that thing meant to be a PENCIL? But, it's holding a pen...It looks more like a RUBBISH spongebob.
Also, that WEIRD guitar was a CCC right?
Thanx 4 the wrecks! But they would be nothing without your HILARIOUS comedy!
I see the guitar and the pencil...I have no idea how anyone could think that last thing is supposed to be a bass (and I've caught a LOT of bass, I know what one looks like! lol) I think it's an alien. LOL
I love that the guitar/comet/rather fiery stylistic man part comes with two extra cuppies. What a bargain!
I was guessing sponge bob on the second one too.
wow...those are fabulous finds. Thanks. :)
The "Can-of-Beans Pose" did me in. Hi-larious. :)
The first thing I thought when I saw the pencil cake was "Spongebob!". Lol.
you're right. I like your reality MUCH better. "Suggestively hairy cheese man" and comet! they take the cake! (if you'll pardon the pun) I thought it was a pointy naked spongebob at first.
i loved nessie too. thank you for telling us what it was SUPPOSED to be. I had no clue. except for the water.
wv: lagush: what nessie would have said as she emerged from the water--if she were french.
That third cake doesn't say "Large-Mouth Bass" to me... It says "killer mutant porta-john on a rampage"...
These are awesome.
So funny... I actually thought the "pencil" was a, as you put it, "suggestively hairy" Sponge Bob Square Pants.
OMG, when I saw the first photo I totally thought of a guitar! Does this mean that I'm totally in sync with the wreckator?! Thank God I don't like to bake/decorate a cake then... :)
Given that the "bass" cake is rectangular, I thought it was an attempt to render the "Monster Book of Monsters" from Harry Potter.
Big fan of Nessie, but honors to the Kraken for this one.
my husbands favorite t shirt say "i reject your reality and inject my own" can i reject my reality and inject yours?
d
A large mouth bass? Really I can't see it. Kinda looks like a green monster with a spike collar.
I thought the first one was, as a couple people have said previously, a flaming poo or male member. I thought the second one was some kind of French hipster Spongebob, complete with beret, cigarette, and soul patch.
Best definition of a professional writer I've ever heard.
I think the first one looks like a way-too-suntanned sting ray.
Oh a pencil! Ok...I thought it was a bad Sponge Bob!
Can't stop laughing at "Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese"
The first one could also be a longhorn steer being impaled by a bullfighter? I NEVER would have guessed Bass on the third one and I've got 2 professional artists in the house.
Is it just me, or does anyone else think the pencil cake looks embarrassed? It's like someone walked in on him in the shower.
Actually, if that first cake (ccc?) would have really been Halley's Comet, I would have been moderately impressed.
I totally thought that was a guitar too.
The first words out of my mouth for the second one were "Sponge Bob Brown Pants!"
So I got the first one, it looks like a guitar, with the icing gone horribly wrong...
I got a banana dipped in chocolate, but first glance I saw a cricket bat in its icing hand..
And the last one, well the colors are pretty, But I cant really get anything from it..
lol but thanks again for the daily chuckle..
I cant keep away from your site now lol..
That first one looks like a guitar that's on fire or from hell judging from the color of it. The last one looks like a big gaping hole with teeth surrounding it just waiting for the next hapless cake buyer to fall in. Ugh what are these people thinking???
hmmm...a guitar...is that what that is??? hmmm...I didnt see that one coming. Didnt get the pencil either. Come to think of it missed the bass too. 0 for 3 this time.
I seriously thought that the "pencil" was Sponge Bob Square Pants gone very very wrong. Must be because I was still thinking of Food Network's Challenge the other week. Only I can't see Kerry Vincent ever visiting these cakes.
Never would have figured out the fish cake.
.
First time here!
I found your site through Sara's Domestically Challenged blog.
And I just loved your site!:)
Betty
Nessie's chargin her lazor...!
:[o]
Comet? Are you sure? Because to me that looks like ... a male, you know. Look, am I the only one who sees that? No, I see I am not the only one with my mind in the gutter.
Wide mouth bass? Yeah, right. It's really Cthulu isn't it?
At least the fish isn't singing..."Don't worry...be happy!"
Yeah, I think it's supposed to be a guitar.
And the next one is a pencil.
I think it's a LARGE mouthed bass. :) I never would've guessed that though...i was thinking submarine maybe, then I saw the eyeballs...
You're hilarious BTW. Your comments often make me literally laugh out loud. Thanks for a good laugh every morning!
At first glance, I thought the first one was a frog on a skewer.
the pencil looks like its holding a syrynge
A pencil?
Rosie
I can't stop staring at the last cake. All I saw at first was a poorly done Cookie Monster Slipper cake.
http://www.amazon.com/Cookie-Monster-Slippers-Infants-Toddlers/dp/B000N6MO1E
No idea when CM started working for the secret service, tho.
Thank you SOOO much for taking the scrolling banner down. You guys rock! :)
I'm with others whose sides are hurting at "Suggestively Hairy Graduation Cheese"....now THAT is golden. Thanks for that! I'll be smiling all day.
I think the "guitar" looks more like a deformed jelly fish.
The pencil could be a pencil, but the other one is beyond me.
Does that last cake look like a chained-up innertube with eyes to you? cuz it does to me. *shivers* That's just plain creepy.
When I saw the Halley's Comet, I thought of a flaming banjo.
I figured out the fish, mostly because it reminds me of those little magnetic fishing games I played as a kid - the ones where the fish sort of bounce and close their mouths as the game rotates. I think the phone cord is supposed to be a fishing line? Without a hook? Somehow attached to the fish's forehead?
That first one looks like someone is doing horrible things to Tasmania.
That looks like a beehive to me...
Melanie Patterson
Release the caken!
(Am I too late?)
the blue thing I think is supposed to be the Monster Book for Monsters from the Harry Potter books.
That first cake looks like an awful guitar with the body upside down, or a very angry goldfish.