Thursday, April 15, 2010

Five Awesome Things

Thursday, April 15, 2010

[UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]


Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:

"You know that cake you posted today? It wasn't that bad! Sure it was misspelled, and the icing looked like someone had spread it on with their tongue, and there was that feces border and thumb print - oh, and the dead bug was kinda gross. But did you see that rose?! Gorgeous!"

Yeeeeah.

Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.

Ready?

*pulling up happy pants*

Here we GOOOO!

Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!


Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.


Uh...

Noisemakers!

I love noisemakers.

Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.


Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.

Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.


Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!

Oh, crap.

I mean, uh, oooo. Tough one.

Sure, there's a full load of things I could say here, but not many would be what you'd call "awesome." Hmm.

[thinking]

[thinking]

[despairing]

[back to thinking]

Ok, I think I got it:

You tell me.

That's right, tell me what's awesome about this Wreck in the comments. Why? Well, mostly for the glory. But also because you just might win Neil's book:

I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)

Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]

Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.

Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.

- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!

UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
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Sweet August said...

AT LEAST THERE'S A HOLE IN THAT, TOO. HOLES ARE GOOD.

siz said...

Holy crap, look at the shelack job on that puppy! Incredible.

Jessica (mama of the kids with the pet tadpoles) said...

The hospitality division had everyone's needs accommodated--even the flies! It's a beautiful fly bungalow...see the little door in the front? How very considerate!

OmgLia said...

that last one has a velvety color and looks positively drenched in chocolatey goodness.



:D did I win?!?

Julia said...

Your blog is amazing!

Karen said...

it would win any contest where the point was to replicate a perfect, disembodied C-cup that had accidentally dipped itself in a vat of Magic Shell ice cream topping and then landed face-up on a paver from the Vatican.

which? you must admit, would be fairly stonking awesome.

~Karen W from Northern VA

Anonymous said...

Great. You have a winner. Why dint you, instead of just posting the winners names, maybe you could actually post the winning response so I don't have to scroll through 2000 comments. That'd be greaaaaat, thaaanks.

Bekah the Chocolate Lover said...

Well it's chocolate right? I would try it.

Julia said...

Double chocolate cake! People would be too busy eating this delicious cake to notice.... well............ how much their eating. And according to Donna Simpson, being morbidly obese is AWESOME!

riss said...

Amber R says 'There's lots of chocolate. Chocolate helps depression and that's awesome!'

Dana said...

Fresh Road apple upside-down cake. Fresh is awesome!

Anonymous said...

it's chocolate...?

Liz said...

The last cake looks like a HUGE yummy pile of ... yum?

Ariel said...

the cake is sooo shiny! aren't shiny things awesome?!?

Anonymous said...

Its shiny! Yeah. It's shiny. Whohoo.

And its cake!

Not that you'd want to eat that.

But it's shiny!

ArcherJP said...

Ah! Here's the good thing about that last cake:

As awful as it LOOKS, it's obvious that's chocolate covering it. And that much chocolate CAN'T be a bad thing, regardless of how bad it looks. Because chocolate = awesome(unless you're allergic).

Madeline said...

On the corn one, I can make out the top part of a two piece womans' bathing suit. Is that just me?

Anonymous said...

Hey, is that cheese cake in the left corner? I just love cheese cake so much. It's all I can think about!

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